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Topics - LaserBeing

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World's Most Scientific Institute / The fundamental question of our times
« on: February 12, 2011, 11:53:23 AM »
Contention over the Hottest Girl poll made me realise that the most important question of all has not been addressed in our rigorous scientific environment. It's time to separate the jet from the flax. Do you prefer champagne or stout? Strawberry or chestnut? Choose wisely; your answer will reveal the true nature of your soul.

2
Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / Wheel of Morality, Turn, Turn, Turn
« on: September 13, 2008, 03:25:09 PM »
If I had less homework to catch up on, I'd start a general morality topic, as it might get us to the core of this bullshit without wasting time on satellite issues.
Sure, why not?

So. Morality! What a concept!

Basically it's a mental construct that has no basis in any kind of observable reality, but can be moderately useful for the purpose of keeping apes from pulling each other's arms off for no reason. The trouble starts when you get too many apes together in one... uh... barn, I guess, and they all start feeling cramped up and pissed off ALL THE TIME. Then you need laws: an Absolute Moral Authority, independent of any one ape, that keeps all the dumb animals in line. If they don't follow the Moral Code, they get put in a little box and have a time-out.

Well, great. I guess it keeps the apes from going completely crazy, even if it's only because they're scared of being put in a box (or a lake of fire, as it used to be).

But it still doesn't really mean anything, it's mostly arbitrary and so sometimes the apes get put in the box for stupid reasons. If all the apes would just get along in the first place they wouldn't need the box, or the stupid morality.

Therefore I propose the One Commandment, for all future generations to live by:

DON'T BE A DICK.

All disputes are to be resolved thusly: is one or both parties being a dick(s)? If so, FUCKIN' CUT THAT SHIT OUT. Man up, say you're sorry, and go back to picking nits out of each other's fur, you stupid, stupid apes.

3
Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / FOOD KILLS YOU
« on: July 12, 2008, 06:49:57 PM »
They almost had me up until the lady bitching about genetically modified food.  Fuck you sideways.  Do you want to feed 6 billion humans or not?

I'm a bit late on this but the point is not that you shouldn't use genetically modified food, it's that if by any chance you DO care about what you're eating, you have no way of telling because they are currently not required to tell you. I don't see how you can get mad at someone for wanting to know what they're eating.

"OM NOM NOM MAN THIS IS GOOD WHAT IS IT"
"Trade secret."
"MOAR PLZ GOD BLESS AMERICA"

I'm not even going to go into the shit about corporations using GM food products to bleed developing nations dry by making them dependent on crops that have planned obsolescence built in. That's a topic for another topic. I'll just say that if you want to feed 6 billion humans, there are better ways to do so than putting control of all the food into the hands of the world's most faceless and heartless megacorporations.

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