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Topics - Ted Belmont

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Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / Shoot 'Em Up
« on: January 16, 2014, 01:34:10 AM »
Three people, including the gunman killed in Indiana grocery store shooting.

Meanwhile, in Pennsylvania, a guy who shot at people in two separate road rage incidents, killing one of them, and may have also murdered a cop, is still on the loose.

Weird, it's almost like enshrining the right of violent assholes to carry deadly weapons results in violent assholes using said deadly weapons to kill people.

Gaming Discussion / Game(s) of the Fucking Year 2013
« on: December 28, 2013, 04:23:54 AM »
Since most gaming news sites have pretty much given up and said, "Fuck it, lets just give it to the game with the biggest marketing budget", I think we should have some different perspectives.

GAME OF THE YEAR: Rogue Legacy - There's a lot to love about Rogue Legacy. The charming art style, the iterative gameplay, the difficulty that rides the line between Too Easy and Too Hard(at least until about NG+4 or so), the way the story, such as it is, ties neatly into the core mechanic of generational succession without rubbing it in your face and going OH LOOK AT THIS AREN'T WE CLEVER?

There's also a lot to hate. It's kind of repetitive, the classes are ridiculously unbalanced, the procedurally generated castle shows its hand a bit too often, and there are all of maybe a dozen palette-swapped enemies. Still, there's a reason I sank so many hours into this game, and it's not just because I was unemployed for four months right after I bought it. It's a lot of fun, a clever twist on the roguelike genre, and it's a game that isn't ashamed to be a game.

RUNNER UP: Cookie Clicker - While some might argue that Cookie Clicker doesn't really qualify as a "game", I would just like to say that if I have to sit through one more goddamn pedantic argument about what a game is and isn't I am going to shove my face into a lawnmower so I can never, ever, use the internet again. Cookie Clicker is a game because the guy who made it says it is. End of story.

Cookie Clicker started out as a relatively simple Candy Box clone, but over the course of the year, and many, many updates, it's morphed into something all its own. While the core gameplay is still quite simple - click things to make more things - the world that's been built around that gameplay has a sort of whimsical horror to it that makes it unique.

Plus, it's free, and the Christmas update lets you murder reindeer and clone a Santa Claus from a test tube with a little hat on it to help you make more cookies.

So let's hear it! What is/are your game(s) of the year, and why? They don't even have to be games that came out in 2013; if you just discovered a weird old Genesis-era JRPG this year, and loved that more than anything else, that's great! I wanna hear about that. Or if you really enjoyed one of the AAA megabudget games that came out this year, that's cool too! I only ask that we try to refrain from arguments in this thread. This is a place to celebrate games, not trash them.

Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / School shooting in Santa Monica
« on: June 07, 2013, 07:00:35 AM »
Shooting at Santa Monica College.

So I guess we're just going to have one of these every couple of months now.

« on: December 25, 2012, 08:26:29 AM »
Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It

A Zachage approaches! Command?


Ted used OPEN!

The contents!

Not one, not two, but THREE handwritten notes! Including one marking this package as 'For Ted Belmont only'. I'm sure Ted won't mind.

Also, yes, Zach! I did send you that Gamecube a few years back!

Close-up of the brontodoodle.

Dice! Some of them with animals on them! Why didn't I place them so the animals were all facing up? GOOD QUESTION!

Eyeball candies! Gumballs? Or jawbreakers? The possibilities are endless!

Some sort of One Piece Reindeer cutout thing! I'm not sure who this is, I've only read the East Blue arc so far. SOMEDAY THIS WILL MAKE SENSE!

And a Littlest Pet Shop kitten! I'll have to keep her in the package; I'm allergic, you know.

A chunk of bound, blank paper! Presumably to be used to make flipbooks.

An album by someone named M83! I've never heard of them, but I'm going to presume they are a band of surly Norwegian children.

A zine! I've always wanted to own one of these.

A Vertigo button! I shall wear it in mourning. :(

Some kind of puffy trucker hat! I'll admit, I don't think I watch enough anime to get this.

You're right, Handsome Man! We do need a new seawall.

Comics! Including 2000AD, Colonial Souls, Evil Eye, The Rocketeer(!), Axe Cop(!!) and SLEDGE HAMMER(!!!)!

Speaking of comics: ninja stars made out of Marvel comics! Probably the best use for Civil War comics I can think of.

Colored bubbles! :racist:

And some promo cards for comics! No, sir, I am not here about the ghost; I'm here about the fact that your hands are all freaky and you've got a friggin' shark's head!

A Mom campaign ad! This is going right onto my wall.

Books! Why are they sideways? Oh well. DEAL WITH IT!

A DVD! The Good, The Bad, and the Weird, the little known sequel starring Japanese Burt Reynolds.

And the corebook for Terra Primate! The savagest roleplaying game ever!

With the remains of the defeated Zachage behind him(well, not really), we now turn to: THE DOGSTARAGE

Also pictured: my breakfast.

The insides! Wow, you guys were really thoughtful about how you packed these things. I just sort of threw all of my stuff in there totally at rand- I mean THE CONTENTS MUST HAVE SHIFTED DURING TRANSIT.

Toys! I am leaving that Iron Man just like that forever.

A kitty and a Lemonheads tin! Included in the tin, an empty Lemonheads wrapper. Dogstar must have known I wouldn't have wanted to go to the trouble of unwrapping and eating the Lemonheads myself! So thoughtful!

BBC's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! This one deserves its own photo. SO AWESOME.

"Transformer? Listen, pal, I'm a T-Bot. Says so right there on the cover. Now if you don't get outta my face, I'm gonna Transform my foot right up your ass!"

Also, Dragon activities! Hopefully it includes instructions on how to hoard gold, I've always wanted to do that!

And finally, BOOKS OMG BOOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!! Between this and Zach's package, I should have enough to read for the rest of my life.

Thanks, guys!

Merry Christmas, ever'body!

Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / Adidas Presents: Slave to Fashion
« on: June 20, 2012, 06:27:39 AM »
Apparently Adidas saw all of that sweet racist cash going to George Zimmerman and thought, "Damn, how can we get it on that?"

« on: June 19, 2012, 11:53:34 AM »
Yeah, so rather than spamming the Internet Superstore thread with a bunch of kickstarter projects I think are neat, I'm just going to make a new thread!

First up, artist Brian John Mitchell, of Silber Media has been doing some neat things with Kickstarter. Mitchell makes mini-comics and other assorted things; in keeping with that, he's also created some mini-Kickstarters.

First there was the Silber Mini-Comics Collection, where backers could get a number of mini-comics encased in handmade wooden boxes. (that one ended a couple of months ago)

Now, he has two going on: the Silber Bottle Comics project, where he's going to bottle his mini-comics and set them out to sea for people to find, and the Soma Puzzle Boxes project, which is centered around small(noticing a trend here?) versions of the wooden puzzle boxes.

Mitchell's project goals are also tiny. The two mini-comics projects have/had goals of $300; the puzzle box project's goal is just $150. When other Kickstarter projects are raising thousands, even millions of dollars, it's kind of neat to see someone just using it to fund and distribute his weird little art projects.

Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / The Bradbury Chronicles
« on: June 06, 2012, 06:23:15 AM »
Ray Bradbury.

The very first short story I ever wrote was a poor attempt at writing like Ray Bradbury. His work's influence, on myself and countless others, cannot be overstated. RIP.

Real Life / Shaving
« on: March 28, 2012, 06:37:11 PM »

You guys shave, right? Have you signed up for the Dollar Shave Club? WHY NOT?

It's surprisingly great, actually! I went with the twin, myself, because I don't see how MORE BLADES = better shave, but if you like ridiculous numbers of blades, they have them in 4-bladed and 6-bladed varieties, with all manner of various strips and whatnots.

The prices are great, even the highest-end option is only $9(including shipping) for 4 cartridges a month; better than paying $25 for 4 goddamn cartridges, and the quality and materials are just as good as brand-name razors. I wanted to wait until I actually got my razor to mention them here, because I didn't want to recommend something without using it, but they're solid!

Plus, if you sign up, and use that link up there, I get a free month. ::3:

« on: September 28, 2011, 10:09:11 AM »
:goodnews: My roommate is moving out!

Unfortunately, I still need a roommate.


Is anyone currently thinking about moving, or does anyone know someone who is looking for a place in the Midwest, specifically southern Illinois region? I realize we're pretty spread out, but I figured I would ask here JUST IN CASE.

Rent is $600/month, utilities are about $100/month, internet/phone is $60/month, and water/sewer/trash is $40 every two months. Everything split down the middle, unless you don't plan on using the landline, in which case I'll only ask $20/month for internet.


Forum Games / Close Your Eyes and Draw Brentai
« on: September 26, 2011, 03:36:19 PM »
<Friday> wait i have a better version of this game



Gaming Discussion / SOLDNER
« on: August 13, 2011, 09:12:11 AM »
This seems like the perfect thread for this!

SOLDNER, one of the most hilariously buggy games ever, is now free.

This is not my favourite fuel tank popping out of existence story Soldner has provided. I remember a few years ago playing it, driving to a house in which a target was held, with a large fuel container out front. There were two enemy tanks, which on seeing my arrival sprang into action. One started driving around the house in a peculiarly elliptical orbit, while the other tested the strength of the external wall of the building by repeatedly ramming into it.

After it blew itself up the orbiting tank's trajectory took into its path the fuel tank, causing it to crash directly into it. There was some sort of pop, and then in their place sat a Jeep, driven by a man in a red beret.

This is like being given a cuddle by God.

Online Hookers / Guild Wars
« on: June 28, 2011, 05:01:31 AM »

High-Context Discourse / WORST LOOT '10
« on: December 18, 2010, 03:28:50 PM »

Gaming Discussion / Costume Quest!
« on: October 20, 2010, 06:04:53 PM »
Costume Quest Trailer - Gamescom '10

So far, it's pretty great. Reminds me of Penny Arcade Adventures, except more family-friendly. The battle and exploration parts are similar, but the costumes bring a lot of variety. The Statue of Liberty costume lets you heal party members with the power of AMERICA.

Gaming Discussion / Assassin's Creed
« on: August 04, 2010, 09:16:03 AM »
In Assassin's Creed II, you earn money by walking around "bumping" into people. :D

Anyway, who's looking forward to Brotherhood? Multiplayer looks fun.

Real Life / Kitchens
« on: February 15, 2010, 07:28:09 PM »
in that case I want to see your kitchen

in fact I want to see everybody's kitchen

Real Life / Gettin' In Shape!
« on: January 28, 2010, 05:42:12 PM »
I never realized just how much I used my legs until today, when I had to go up and down three flights of stairs after an hour-long conditioning session yesterday morning.

I felt like Professor X.  ::(:

Online Hookers / Fat Princess
« on: August 30, 2009, 07:28:36 AM »

High-Context Discourse / Name that Ted!
« on: December 28, 2008, 03:11:18 PM »
  Guess what! I'm changing my name, and I need YOUR HELP! I've been toying with the idea for several years now, but I've always put it off in the past. Quick explanation, since it would behoove me to tell you WHY I'm changing my name. Long story short, my biological father was an evil bastard, he did some terrible things, then shot himself when I was 4 years old. I didn't learn the truth about his death(and the circumstances leading up to it) until about 10 years ago, but ever since, the knowledge that I've been carrying around his middle and last names has not exactly been pleasant. So, I've decided to make 'GET YOUR NAME LEGALLY CHANGED' one of my New Year's resolutions this year.
   I've already chosen the last name, of course. I'm taking my mother's maiden name, since it's also my Grandfather's last name, 'natch, and he was probably the person I most looked up to through my entire life. I would take my stepfather's name, but Teddy Eddy sounds weird, and changing my actual last name to Belmont would be a little too nerdy. However, when trying to think of a new middle name, I hit the proverbial wall(namer's block?). My grandfather's middle name is Leslie, which I'm not a big fan of, and my stepdad's middle name has been used about a billion times in my immediate family.
   So, here's where you come in, People of Worstia! I need suggestions for my middle name. Post as many as you like, be they boring, ridiculous, or somewhere in between. I'll take them all into consideration, and choose the one that I like best! There might even be a prize for whoever comes up with the winning name. Probably not, but hey, it should still be fun, and if you want to have someone named after you but can't stand the thought of babies for anything other than culinary purposes, this could be your chance!

Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / PETA is savory and delicious!
« on: November 18, 2008, 12:34:01 AM »
Mama Kills Animals

Crazy-eyed, bloodstained Mama =  :perfect:

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