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Messages - James Edward Smith

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Real Life / Re: You Can Hear Me How?
« on: October 09, 2012, 02:51:20 PM »
That's not a logical fallacy.

He is lying, not all people from crete are liars, just some of them are, like him.

The logical fallacy is only if you say something like "I am lying, right now."

Gaming Discussion / Re: Game News Dump
« on: October 09, 2012, 09:45:51 AM »
Retro City Rampage is finally out (google it). It isn't as cheap as some games at 15 bucks, but it's still way cheaper than any NES game we ever bought and it's probably way better than pretty much any of them. For a game that is truly one guy's crazy vision, that he has been working on in some capacity for years, and that he was originally making in assembly code so that he could release it as an actual NES cartridge, I think it's a fair price. The guy worked his ass off to make this thing, and it's pretty cray-cray.

Media / Re: Bond.
« on: October 08, 2012, 11:29:57 AM »
I have never seen any James Bond movie, and my only association with the franchise is Goldeneye (N64).

Should I correct this, and if so, how do I start?

Not unless you want to have a bit of a heart-warming laugh at what the 60/70s thought looked futuristic.

Media / Re: Bond.
« on: October 08, 2012, 11:28:12 AM »
I think people are a little too quick to write off the Brosnan movies as bad and forgettable.

Goldeneye while not an amazing movie, is actually a really good "bond movie" if you compare it to any of the Roger Moore or Timothy Dalton ones. It elegantly manages to hold onto the KGB as the enemy in the only acceptable way for ONE LAST MOVIE, and it works well. The good and bad girl are both hot and yet neither comes off as cartoonish, even with how tropey the bad one is. Also, you've got Sean Bean as a merciless badguy who dies (The thing he's best at playing other than good guy who everyone likes who dies or Richard Sharpe, the rough good guy who everyone likes who should have died 10 times over but never does because he's too tough and cool). Also the tank chase is really cool and the movie inspired a beloved Nintendo 64 video game that even I agree is a classic even though I find it to be overrated and have always found it to be a bizarre anachronism since it occupied the same era as Unreal Tournament and Counter Strike.

I think the reason everyone is down on the Pierce bond films is because the one with the Bill Gates/Steve Jobs looking bad guy and the other one about the oil pipeline were both really dispassionate seeming and boring films. I'm honestly not sure if it's because they were made poorly or largely just because they didn't have villains that seemed to be either meancing (nerds aren't intimidating unless they make a monster or a robot) or interesting. The bad guy in the oil pipeline one was a terrorist who used to be in the KGB and it's cool that they got Robert Carlyle to play him but uhhh, Goldeneye was the last acceptable time to use a Russian, at least a soviet one, so this shit is stupid and boring now.

Remember Bond films, no Russian...

Well, unless you make one about them getting goaded into attacking some border nation by some nefarious evil badguy banker or something. If you do that though, please have a Putin parody character acting like he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks even after James Bond fixes everything and reveals the plot.

"I would have attacked them anyway... what? I don't care what you think, I run this fucking country. Bring some tanks and some airplanes over here if you wanna talk shit. I'll go dump you in the woods for the bears to snack on otherwise."

Alright, put your shirt back on Putin.

Honestly, despite the fact that Die an Other Day had a SPACE LAZOR as it's doomsday device and a lot of the stuff in the ice hotel is really boring, it was actually a pretty cute movie in a Moonraker kind of way and it had a great villain in its privileged, ruling class North Korean guy. It's not a movie I would really recommend to anyone, but the sword fight scene is well worth a watch on youtube even though it loses some impact when it's out of context and you don't understand the full motivations of the characters (the bad guy is actually a Korean guy with plastic surgery who wants Bond dead, but can't risk outing himself for who he really is, so he's kind of Bruce Wayning it up).

Real Life / Re: The Royal Wedding
« on: October 07, 2012, 09:55:36 PM »
Kazz & Ladyduke's wedding is the first wedding I've been to other than my sister's that I actually gave a shit about and it was a heart warming affair filled with very real, joyful tears, very fake, curled hair, and some of the worst tied on ties I've ever seen.

But the best part, I think we can all agree or at least agree to disagree until our dying days, was that I got to run around on a wedding reception dance floor with my arms held out like variable geometric wings, pretending to be an F-14 flying on Kazz's wing while Highway to the Danger Zone played and Yvonne looked on, laughing and shaking her head.

It was a lovely wedding and I wish both of you the best for the rest of your lives together.

Forum Games / Re: Thing4
« on: October 02, 2012, 06:50:53 PM »
Yeah, I'm going to Kazz's wedding this thursday but I'll be back Monday.

Media / Re: Song Currently Stuck In Your Head
« on: September 28, 2012, 10:17:43 AM »

Forum Games / Re: Thing4
« on: September 28, 2012, 09:43:43 AM »
Heh Final Fantasy Legend 2 races are the best races.

Forum Games / Re: Thing4
« on: September 27, 2012, 01:54:51 PM »
Ooh ooh, I want play gam.

But if we'reľ but we, but you see, you and I, we spend our day with Republicans. We spend our days with people who agree with us. And these people are people who voted for him and don't agree with us. And so the things that animate us are not the things that animate them. And the best success I have at speaking with those people is saying, you know, the president has been a disappointment.

That's the one part of the whole thing that makes Romney seem like a much smarter campaigner than, well, any of his actual campaigning.

Other'n that?  Don't know.  I don't think this story will come as much of a surprise to anybody of any political stripe, even if the media DOES decide to stop talking about foreign riots over a Youtube video for a few days and make this the week's top story.

I mean, yeah, obviously it's pretty fucking distasteful, but I don't think anyone's going to be surprised that Romney thinks Democrats just want handouts.  Hell, he's said as much when he KNEW he was being recorded, and so has pretty much every Republican who's ever run for any office since 1980.

He's describing exactly how I've figured his party has thought of elections and the issues me mentions for a long time. It's comforting to have a tape of him actually saying it, straight up with no bullshit so I know I'm not fooling myself into believing something about them that I want to.

Uhm that said though. I don't think that most people understand this.

Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / Re: Don't you know there's a war on?
« on: September 11, 2012, 10:52:53 AM »
And they called the new tower BABEL, for that was where two angels confounded man's language and perception so he could no longer work together.

Online Hookers / Re: Mercury
« on: September 09, 2012, 09:56:32 PM »
Damn it, you guys are too good at this. I'll never get to create my "Esquire" class.

Real Life / Re: Steam Greenlight
« on: September 05, 2012, 01:54:44 PM »
It's completely laughable


I still had the following Twitter back and forth about it. After they made a tweet complaining about the fee, I wrote them this:

"If you aren't hungry enough to work a day job long enough to drum up $100, then you don't really want to be an indy developer."

to which they responded...



Please help me to make heads or tails of this because it seems to me like the conversation entered a reverse portal at some point.

Real Life / Re: Steam Greenlight
« on: September 05, 2012, 06:31:16 AM »
If you aren't willing to earn the princely sum of $100 from working at a day job for a little over a day or so, then you aren't hungry enough to be an indie developer.

This is a near perfect solution that Valve came up with in a day and it immediately eliminates pretty much ALL of the joke entries. Now the good games and the shit games made by people who are fooling themselves can actually have a chance to get some non-directed traffic to their little green-light pages.

Forum Games / Re: Hottest NES Game Ro32 (Thread B)
« on: August 31, 2012, 10:40:32 AM »
It's an NES arcade port up against three games which are probably the best in their respective series?

I agree with that for all of them except Kirby's Adventure. It's a great game, don't get me wrong; but Kirby's Superstar on the SNES is hands down the best Kirby game ever made for being the first one to make it so that all powers had multiple moves or their own distinct mechanics. Plus everyone likes hats and coop play right?

Kirby's Adventure was great for it's time though. It was a good console upgrade to Dreamland that added in a lot of great new concepts. Hell, I like it just for the fact that it pushed the concept of a platformer having levels that actually resembling their surroundings on the map screen closely.

Real Life / Re: Shaving
« on: August 30, 2012, 09:12:39 PM »
I have a big one on my cheek and honestly I cut it just as often with cartridges than I ever have with my DE. I haven't cut it in a long time since getting better at shaving. You just have to go lightly over and around it.

Real Life / Re: Shaving
« on: August 30, 2012, 08:59:25 PM »
Merkur DE razors are really high quality but expensive. Chinese Weishi brand ones are basically just rip offs of old Gillette designs manufactured a bit crummier, but generally decent for how cheap they are. Actual old Gillette ones are cool to get if you can find one on ebay for a reasonable price and it's not too gummed/fucked up though a cleaning can usually take care of the first part of that "or slash" there.

Jesse Thorn may have been born with a face for radio, but he gives a pretty good tutorial here a little after 3 minutes into this:

Put This On, Episode 4: Grooming

In my mind, 3 passes is a little excessive but my main advice is that even if you are just doing two, rinse off your lather brush in your hot water again before swooshing up more lather from your soap puck. The reason being that while you don't want your lather to be a drippy mess, but you REALLY don't want it too dry. Pores properly opened by heat is one part of shaving well, but lubrication on your skin is the other and the main thing actually accomplishing that is water. The soap just helps that water actually stay on your face by making up the sticky part of the lather equation.

Similarly when you're doing that pre shave face soak, don't just get your skin hot, make sure you got it wet too.

Real Life / Re: Shaving
« on: August 30, 2012, 05:47:09 PM »
Yeah, it works pretty good but there's just one problem, the part that actually holds the cartridge isn't a generic attachment point. To this day, I don't know where to get blades for it and don't care. I've gotten used to doing it with just a regular handled razor.

Real Life / Re: Shaving
« on: August 30, 2012, 03:30:21 PM »
I have to shave my whole head when I shave and I have to do it about 2-3 times a week to look respectable. So, Gillette shit-bag 1000% profit margin cartridges - that seem to me to be DESIGNED to clog up with hair that won't wash out after you drag them over any area of reasonably thick hair - are not really a great option for me.

As a result, I switched over to using a double edged safety razor a long time ago. I get a pack of 100 wilkinson sword brand blades for something like 30-40 bucks of which I am still only about halfway through after shaving with them for a long time.

The thing with a safety razor is you have to know what you're doing, actually know your face's hair growth pattern, and you have to be careful. You shouldn't be pressing against your skin even with a cartridge razor, you should always just be holdign the razor against your face as lightly as possible while keeping contact and then just sliding it over gently, letting the blade cut the hair or not at its discretion. However with a cartridge razor, because of its multiple blades you can sort of get away with pushing if you don't have sensitive skin because the blades and the rubber thing at the front flatten out your skin a little for you. It's still not a great idea though. Most people who get zits or skin irritation from shaving are pressing too hard with their razor on areas of their face that are sensitive or bumpy, and/or are not preparing their skin properly.

Preparing your skin to shave

Whether you use a DE razor or a cartridge one, wash your face with hot water before you start and make sure it's still wet when you start shaving. Fill up your sink with the hottest water you can get out of your tap and then soak a face cloth in it and wash your face with it while your shaving brush soaks in the water, readying to make some nice warm latter with your shaving soap and mug. Don't use those stupid cold shaving gels. They sort of work, but they use fancy chemicals to achieve what hot water and shaving soap achieve BETTER with just temperature. It feels way nicer too.

Due to the rescent fashion of shaving properly with shaving soap, hot water and old thymey DE razors or straight razors, there's a lot of fancy pants shaving soaps and waxes availiable on the market. In my opinion they are overpriced unnecessary crap. My dad's always used these since he was a kid

and they've never steered me wrong. Despite what they are labled as in that picture, I'm sure they are only $1.50 at Walmart. That's where I've always gotten them.

After you're done shaving, wash your face off thoroughly with cold water. This'll close your pores that the hot water opened at the start and make sure they don't get shit jammed in them during the rest of your morning. You can splash on some aftershave if you like that and seal up any knicks with a steptic pencil, but personally I prefer just using some moisturizer than aftershave, it's better for your skin.


If you're going to use a DE razor over a cartridge one, you've got to go gently and err on the side of not cutting yourself over shaving hair perfectly off on the first attempt. Realistically if you want a close shave with them, it'll take at least 2 latherings and shaving passes. Usually I do one pass with the grain of the hair and then a second pass across or in places where my skin is tougher, against the grain to get a nice close shave. Although on my head where my skin is all pretty smooth and hardy, I sometimes manage to get everything on the first try and just going in almost any direction if I haven't left it too long. But, if I let my hair get too long, it'll take multiple passes to get it shaved without cutting myself.

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