Brontoforumus Archive

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:


This board has been fossilized.
You are reading an archive of Brontoforumus, a.k.a. The Worst Forums Ever, from 2008 to early 2014.  Registration and posting (for most members) has been disabled here to discourage spambots from taking over.  Old members can still log in to view boards, PMs, etc.

The new message board is at http://brontoforum.us.

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Mongrel

Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10 ... 812
81
Media / Re: Webcomics that aren't MSPA
« on: January 08, 2014, 04:17:49 PM »

82
High-Context Discourse / Re: Avatars
« on: January 08, 2014, 03:14:24 AM »
Many conflicting emotions.

83
Media / Re: Song Currently Stuck In Your Head
« on: January 07, 2014, 05:08:39 PM »
holy shit

84
Real Life / Re: Weather
« on: January 07, 2014, 04:38:32 PM »
Well, that is shitty either way. :/

85
Media / Re: Videodrome
« on: January 07, 2014, 04:09:43 PM »
That's awesome  :glee:

EDIT: OH SHIT, THAT'S KOMPRESSOR. No wonder!



Nicolas Cage's Agent

This is very old, but I had never actually seen it before.

86
Real Life / Re: Weather
« on: January 07, 2014, 03:46:11 PM »
Wait, so the guy walking home... did he fall and black out? Was it an older guy?

I mean, cold is cold, but even that seems a little extreme. Even in totally crazy freezing temps it takes some time for a whole human body to completely freeze.

88
High-Context Discourse / Re: Quotes
« on: January 06, 2014, 05:27:13 PM »
<Crunchums> if you consider posting as a performance art, who is your favorite poster across all forums that you frequent?
<Seeker> He doesn't post anywhere anymore, that I know of. Guy name of RunsWithScissors, back on old gamefaqs and then luelinks and then he just kind of... moved on. He just wrote these hilariously nonsensical stories, like my all-time favorite one:

Quote
So me and my good friend Sam decided to go to Olive Garden to get something to eat. I hear only good things about their breadsticks and that's all I planned on buying. If I played my cards right, I could get out of there with a bill of only a few dollars.

On the way over, I decided to probe Sam a little and see if I could get him to pay for my food. It's just like luring a clown into your house so you can kill him because he reminds you of a bad incident during childhood. I just went for it. I'd probably suck a cock for a free meal, I said. He was just gazing ahead and this broke him out of the trance. He snapped his head towards me and asked,"What?" The look in his eyes made me back down. That wasn't me, that was the radio. He eyed me wearily. It was going to take a long time to live that one down.

We finally arrived at the Olive Garden. Sam was staying a few steps away from me. He was probably afraid I'd try to rape him before dinner to increase my appetite or something silly. I guess he figured it's easier before because you might cramp up trying to rape on a full stomach. If there's one thing I learned on the streets, it's never rape on a full stomach. You can cramp up and your victim can get away.

So the waitress brought the breadsticks and salad. I ate one breadstick and went for another. The second one I grabbed looked just like a penis. It was amazing, a penis made of bread. I cock slapped Sam across the face with it. It's a lot more satisfying to see a grease mark left on their face with bread instead of your penis. I looked over and I saw the waitress there. Sam, watch this, I said. I shoved the breadstick down my pants.

I put the breadstick down my left pant leg and it looked like a huge penis bulge. Even my mouth was watering and I'm straight. The waitress came over and I just sat there, with my legs apart, inviting her to come and play in my penial garden. She looked at my bulge and back up at me. I winked. I mouthed the words, it's all yours. It was actually Olive Garden's but she didn't have to know.

I kept the breadstick in there during the course of the meal. I kind of liked it there. It gave me +4 to my confidence skill. The waitress walked by again and she put a slip of paper on the table. It wasn't the bill, it was a note that said she wanted me after closing.

Sam left and I waited around. By this time, the breadstick was leaving a grease mark on my pants, so I shifted it to the other side. This thing was my ticket to endless amounts of sex. The waitress found me, turns out her name is Cindy, and said she'd give me a ride to her place. The whole time back to her place, she kept trying to reach over and grab my breadstick. I had to keep slapping her hand away. One little feel and this was all over.

Two hundred hand slaps later, we were finally at her house. I carried her upstairs, kissing the whole time. I threw her down on the bed and told her that I'd be right back, I had to put a condom on. "Oh, honey, let me do it," she said. Oh God, no, I'll do it, I told her, I have to pee, too. So I ran out of the room before she could say anything else.

In the bathroom, I was pretty nervous. I was about to slip a condom over my breadstick and fuck a girl with it. Oh well, may as well jump in. I put the condom over it and went back into her room. I made sure to turn the lights off so she couldn't see it. After a bit kissing, I began to penetrate her with it. So far, so good. Then she looked up at me in a panicked state, "Oh no, did I just crush your penis in two?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She said she tightened her vagina and it felt like my penis was crushed. She reached down and felt it. I guess she felt enough penises in her day to know it wasn't a penis.

"I can't believe you're fucking me with a breadstick!" she yelled. I grabbed the breadstick and threw it in the corner, go fetch, I said, then I remember she was human, not a dog. I really gotta stop having sex with animals. I wasn't going to trick her that easy. So I started to apologize, about three seconds in, I pushed her on the bed, grabbed the end of the covers, wrapped her up in them and rolled her off the bed. I dashed out of there. Let's just hope I never see her again.

89
Real Life / Re: What I learned today!
« on: January 06, 2014, 11:52:42 AM »
Whereas German idiots get them into to war in the first place.

... I'll get my coat.

90
Thaddeus Boyd's Panel of Death / Re: The Environment
« on: January 06, 2014, 11:50:24 AM »
My favourite part of the Trump one - which was definitely among the best - was the MAKE U.S. COMPETITIVE he nonsensically crams in there.

91
Gaming Discussion / Re: MTG
« on: January 06, 2014, 07:43:33 AM »
That'll do it.

92
Gaming Discussion / Re: MTG
« on: January 06, 2014, 06:00:43 AM »
It's been climbing up for a while now, I think?

93
Real Life / Re: What I learned today!
« on: January 06, 2014, 01:21:55 AM »
There is a German expression, "tiefer Griff ins Klo", which translates literally as "a deep grip in the toilet" - meaning something is really bad.

94
High-Context Discourse / Re: Imagery Unload
« on: January 06, 2014, 01:17:35 AM »
hur hur hur

95
Gaming Discussion / Re: MTG
« on: January 05, 2014, 07:29:51 PM »
The new card frames are sort of ugly, but I hate the new title font more. It's this jagged, angry stuff. Hey let's face it, none of the changes are all that big of a deal, but that doesn't mean they make the cards look nicer.

 

Also looks like Mythics and Rares are getting a small holofoil to help prevent counterfeiting. The bottoms of the cards might actually be machine-readable now, so that that might introduce some changes to organized play, which is at least a mechanical positive.

96
Media / Re: !$@* the Comics Code
« on: January 05, 2014, 05:47:47 PM »
One thing I found was that it was surprisingly hard to find real statistics to cite, so in those trolly arguments, I saw a lot of [CITATION NEEDED, CHUMP] from people who claim the code didn't have much of an effect.

I've read stats in paper publications that described sales losses of 75% - 90% but those are in paper publications I don't own and haven't seen in a good couple of years. I mean I know that a ton of studios closed between 1953 and 1959 and there's a commonly quoted pre-code figure that pegged general north american industry circulation at 1 billion issues total right before the Code, but it's hard to really get documentation for that.

Modern circulation figures are available (and are nothing remotely close to 1 billion) and I think there was one site that did have some stats for 1965 (and onward), which showed Superman at 840,000 or so and most Marvel books at around 250,000 - 350,000 for 1965/66. But they were hardly a complete record.

There's also the valid argument that the rise of TV would have significantly dented comic sales even without the Code, but obviously the Code was catastrophic for many existing publishers as well as creating a sort of near-genre-genocide (I think that in spite of the code some non-code magazines were still printed with crime, horror, etc. stories, albeit at a vastly lower circulation, but again documentation is hard to find).

97
Real Life / Re: Weather
« on: January 05, 2014, 03:31:19 PM »
One thing is that really, once it goes lower than -25 or -30, you stop feeling the difference that much.

Because, you know, you're going to freeze to death very quickly if you stay out in that shit.

98
Media / Re: !$@* the Comics Code
« on: January 05, 2014, 04:00:24 AM »
The funny part is that typically the people I've seen making that argument are not citing Watchmen as the positive, they're citing like Marvel Ultimates or such.

 :wakka:

99
Media / Re: !$@* the Comics Code
« on: January 05, 2014, 02:19:16 AM »
That's fair of course - obviously that's an orders-of-magnitude difference. But that doesn't make me a fan of a massive censorship regime that crippled and possibly permanently stunted the development of an new art form through an entire continent, just as it was entering adolescence, because hey, at least we got Alan Moore to behave that one time.


100
Media / Re: !$@* the Comics Code
« on: January 05, 2014, 01:36:29 AM »
Yeah, I mean if you want to go Godwin, our current world and many good things about it were shaped in large part by the result of the events of World War II.

That doesn't mean that it's good that WWII happened*. We're talking about a classic boneheaded conflation of results and method, that once something happens, it's justified by the simple fact of it having happened.

*I guess if you're one of those people who hold that violent conflict is an intrinsic and inevitable part of the human condition, you could argue that WWII went about as well as a war that killed 2.5% of the entire global population could go. If we had to have one. But that's an entirely separate argument.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10 ... 812