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Author Topic: Small Talk  (Read 4006 times)

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Brentai

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2008, 11:50:22 PM »

No.  No, god damn it.  That is the worst advice anyone could give.

Most people suck.  Anybody who needs conversational advice definitely sucks.

I think a more accurate, but still horribly generic tidbit is

BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

No matter what.  Wanna be Batman?  Be Batman.  But for the love of God, if you're Cannon, don't be Cannon.

Unless you want to be Cannon for some reason.
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2008, 12:08:04 AM »

Confidence is the trick. There's no easy way to learn confidence, unfortunately. If you speak with conviction, as if you're neither trying to sound impressive nor worried about not sounding impressive, then people will be more inclined to listen to you.

It helps to learn public speaking, especially impromptu. Being a natural, collected speaker with good inflection and a voice that projects well is an enormous factor in how people perceive you. Once you've got that down, you can talk about anything and people will assume that it's interesting.
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...but is it art?

Thad

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2008, 12:34:47 AM »

Not comic books.
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Cannon

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2008, 01:33:48 AM »

Not Brent. He sucks.

Confidence is the trick. There's no easy way to learn confidence, unfortunately. If you speak with conviction, as if you're neither trying to sound impressive nor worried about not sounding impressive, then people will be more inclined to listen to you.

It helps to learn public speaking, especially impromptu. Being a natural, collected speaker with good inflection and a voice that projects well is an enormous factor in how people perceive you. Once you've got that down, you can talk about anything and people will assume that it's interesting.

I'm sorry, but I can't help but hear Zapp Brannigan's voice when I read this.
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2008, 03:06:12 AM »

Once you know how to talk, the second step is knowing when and about what to talk or not talk. The whole point of small talk is that you use it as a means for finding something that one of you enjoys talking about that the other enjoys either listening about or also talking about. Conversations tend to have a mind of their own, but everybody conducts them a bit differently, so a hard rule would be a disservice to you, but you need to develop a good sense of when to let the subject change. The smaller the talk, the more important it is to let the conversation roam. Search for shared experiences and if anything they say reminds you of something, then try to lead it off on that tangent.

Being a good listener is perhaps the most important part of banter. When the topic gets toward something that can be talked about, get a good feel for what their thoughts are by letting them go ahead, with occasional prodding, and then when the time feels right you can complete and extend that line of thinking yourself. The person will feel like you understand them, and will thus be inclined to move the conversation toward more substantial subjects and a more intimate tone. It needs to go both ways, of course, so make it easy for them. Two people doing this to each other over the course of a sufficient length of time will culminate in marriage, provided they don't piss each other off too badly beforehand.
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...but is it art?

Sharkey

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2008, 08:51:20 AM »

Fuck small talk. It's everyone else's job to prove to you that they're interesting enough to be worth your time. And if they do, that's when you go for their throat.
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James Edward Smith

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2008, 09:27:05 AM »

Thanks, Friday.
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Talk? Talk is for lovers, Merlin. I need a sword to be king.

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2008, 11:19:35 AM »

go for their throat.

No, you see, this is actually the problem Sharkey. The problem, not the solution. For a while in my history, I couldn't talk to people for 15 minutes before they started acting worried that I was planning to slay, seduce, or play baccarat with them.
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Cannon

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2008, 11:46:41 AM »

Or they might actually be concerned that you'll do something to their throat. :vampire:
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Thad

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2008, 11:52:27 AM »

BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

No matter what.  Wanna be Batman?  Be Batman.  But for the love of God, if you're Cannon, don't be Cannon.

Okay, now listen, guys, if you want to get out of here in one piece, stick close to me and do what I do.  Tick...don't do what you do.
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Cannon

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #30 on: February 27, 2008, 12:12:25 PM »

That's a very spoony reference, Thad.
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Angryoptimist

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Ignore all this and do whatever works for you
« Reply #31 on: February 27, 2008, 01:58:04 PM »

Okay, so this is what I know:

Usually, when I feel like approaching somebody, I just look at what they're doing and tie my small talk into that.  (Obviously, you don't want to do this when they're especially busy.)

Alternately, you can tie into a (ended) conversation.  This is riskier, though, as many seem to have unreasonable expectations of privacy in public spaces.  Depends on the situation.

In general it helps to be friendly.  And at most (and least) passively interested in the small talk.  Ramble, but not on the same topic; until you find something mutually interesting, tangents are your friend.  If all else fails, touch on current events.  Oh, and know when to stop.

Expect failures, but don't let them set you back.  This is the first filter to finding common interests with others, after all.
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Cannon

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #32 on: February 27, 2008, 06:03:54 PM »

so all this can be applied to getting a girlfriend right
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Brentai

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #33 on: February 27, 2008, 08:47:50 PM »

Not Brent. He sucks.

Actually Brent is a pretty popular topic of conversation when people think I'm not listening.
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Cannon

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #34 on: February 27, 2008, 09:50:14 PM »

So forget the weather, sports, or the like. The key topic is Brent. Thread over.
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Sharkey

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #35 on: February 28, 2008, 01:35:05 AM »

Brent's throat, then.
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #36 on: February 28, 2008, 02:17:56 AM »

Hey, so how many hot dogs do you think Brent can fit down his throat?
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Classic

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #37 on: February 28, 2008, 08:25:41 AM »

I have a feeling that something is... amiss in this demonstration.  :omg:
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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #38 on: February 28, 2008, 02:22:34 PM »

Regular Hot Dogs or those huge things that the germans eat?
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R^2

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Re: Small Talk
« Reply #39 on: February 28, 2008, 02:58:45 PM »

First one, then the other.
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