Gok started puffing on a pipe.
"Let's take a look at the clues, shall we?
"We'll start with
the one explicitly stated to be a clue: a strangely-colored photo of Thad from 1997.
"In fact, the post says '1997' twice. What's important about 1997?"
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It was a typical, cheerful day. Explosions rocked the city skyline, signaling another invasion by berserk robots. It was the sort of thing that happened so often that the locals ignored it; they were simply going about their business, most of them riding the subway to work.
Three mounted figures, however, were, unlike the locals, NOT on their way to work. They were mounted. And there were three of them.
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"Now," continued Gok, "What was it Thad said when he last updated his KateStory page?"
16 is up, with corresponding updates to the index and character guide.
"But Thad!" you may say. "Isn't it a little early to be finishing the updates? The eleventh anniversary is still almost three weeks away! How will you celebrate it now?"
Don't worry. I have a plan.
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The Temple was in a central park, actually, but due to a mystic field surrounding it, it presented the feeling to its visitors of being enclosed. Mystic alterations of visitors' senses were what the Temple was all about.
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"ELEVENTH anniversary," Gok repeated.
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The Statues were, themselves, strange objects whose appearance varied depending on one's perception. At the forefront of them was a statue of Stefanie [...] hoisting a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; she was flanked on her left side by Thad Boyd holding a copy of Final Fantasy 6, and on her left was the Statue of Brent Roberts, hoisting a cow skyward. Behind her were the Lesser Gods, headed by Steve, Kazz, and Adam, but they're not even remotely important at this point so I'm not going to make up whatever it was they were holding yet.
Yet, when one moved a step, or blinked, or simply willed it to be so, the Statues' appearance changed. Stefanie [...] with the Guide became Kate Chaos with her flaming green hand; Brent Roberts with the cow was Hedgehog X hoisting Maleophonix the Singing Candy Machine; Thad Boyd with FF6 was suddenly Mega Man X saluting with his X-Buster.
In front of the statues was a small dais. On it sat a marble-cover notebook and a mechanical pencil. It was to this that the aforementioned riders rode.
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"Today," said Gok, "is not the KateStory's eleventh anniversary. It's the KateStory's FOURTEENTH anniversary. Eleven years ago -- why, that would be 1997 again, wouldn't it?"
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Anticlimax dismounted his horse and seized the Magic Pencil. He opened the notebook and began scribbling furiously.
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"And then those two new characters who showed up in the same chapter," Gok continued. "The ones carrying books with empty pages. One of them couldn't remember anything..."
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"I remember," breathed Lord Minton. "I'm remembering everything!"
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"...and the other who spouted incomprehensible gibberish."
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":(�"<:�0���07���b," raved Derek the Derelict. "�t@���X@fb@���@rn@d`t`jtdj@����������Z���Y�+ã{�cKs�C��+�!" he shouted. "I�zj���i���ji�J���]��#�B�E%*ou stupid loser people open up your horribly written and uninformitive Pascal books to page 3-42! We're going to learn how to do for do loops now!"
Passersby stopped and turned their heads as Derek the Derelict began to say things that made sense.
"Something that makes sense, dammit!" he shouted. He jabbed his finger, once again, to the book he was holding. It was no longer empty.
"Let's fire up the ol' Innerosseter!"
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Gok smirked. "So you see, Thad's big anniversary surprise is...he's recovered
KateStory IX!"
Nobody gasped! Everybody had figured that out paragraphs ago!
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"The timestream has finally been corrected," Janey intoned.
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"My God," said Hedgehog X, as his escape pod approached the Monolith. "It's full of stars!"
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Thad punched Bill Gates in the face, bought Dean Trower a beer, and said "Happy birthday" to KateStory.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRAGH!" said KateStory.
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There was a buzzing sound.
"As fun as that was," said a mysterious figure from the shadows, "it's probably best we advance the plot before hitting the Post button." He stepped out of the shadows. He was covered in bees.
Anticlimax looked at Bee Man, then went back to furiously scribbling in the book.
"Oh no you don't!" shouted Bee Man. "Bees, ATTACK!" Bees swarmed Anticlimax.
"BEES!" shouted Anticlimax. "BEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
Cotius Interruptus saw an object lying on the Temple floor. It was a cigarette lighter on a stick. He lunged for it.
Bee Man lobbed a grenade at Coitus. It exploded, and he found himself covered in a swarm of insects.
"Feel the power," said Bee Man, "of my TERMITE GRENADE."
Everybody groaned.
"That's enough of that, OLD FRIEND," Lord Minton said icily. "Yes, that's right. I've got my memory back. And I know who you are. You're...you're..."
Everybody gasped! Oh my Fuck!
"I haven't said who he is yet," said Lord Minton reproachfully.