Since you guys couldn't make a decision...
You're one to talk, pal. His name's Puck, by the way.
Right...anyway, the two kids dart across the rooftops, and Puck uses the ladder to get across and over the wall of the castle. If this were an RPG of the modern day, then you'd probably have to do some stupid stealth minigame. Thankfully, that's absent.
Solid Snake and Gray Fox they are not. I'm suprised that the posh nobles don't sense the funk of street urchin coming off either of the kids.
Ah, looks like they made it just in time!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT THE SWEET HELL IS THAT IS THAT MY NEXT BOSS ENCOUNTER?
Oh. I guess that's the queen. Good god, how is Princess McSadface alive? By all rights, I'm sure after Queenie there squirted her out, she would think "MMMM DELICIOUS HAM"...but this isn't Friday, so...
Speaking of Princess McSadface, she's still McSadface. Her Sadfaceness doesn't go unnoticed.
Good lord, that guy's wearing some SERIOUS eyeshadow. Perhaps this is the emo git of the game?
...He smiled. Never mind.
Yay! The play begins! Pretty fireworks! Glee! Rapture! Fun!
Queenie's happy!
...Huh. A hydraulic orchestra pit above the stage. That must've set them back a penny or two.
You can't tell behind the whatever that's obscuring Gorku's face, but he's obviously enjoying himself too.
Even Captain !Emo's in the spirit!
Aww...she's not in the spirit...
Fabulous Gay Leader introduces the play, "I Want To Be Your Canary". Apparently, this is the city's most popular play. It must be damn good if it's running on the Alexandria equivalent of Broadway for God knows how long. Apparently, like centuries or something. Hell, even Cats and Rent didn't run more than a few decades.
...Apparently, they blew the budget on the hydraulic stage, and there wasn't any money left over for costumes. The gang's all wearing their street clothing. Even Fabulous Gay Leader, who probably just took his costume out of his personal closet.
Banter! What follows is actually interesting. The fight scene is carried out in an actual battle. However, replacing everyone's Steal commands is SFX, which do interesting little things, but deal no damage. It's a play, remember?
Thrilling! I'm captivated. Eventually, our heroes vanquish King Fabulous Gay Leader and his two cronies. Then, for absolutely no reason...
I don't get it. Why would Goku and Blank (they don't have stage names.) start fighting inexplicably. This isn't carried out in a normal fight scene, but in a button-pressing minigame.
The idea is to do it as fast and accurately as possible so it looks THRILLING.
Apparently, I wasn't too convincing...
Anyway, nuts to this. Time to sneak in to the castle!
Two stolen sets of armor later, Goku and Blank are prepared for their infiltration mission! Now, if this were a modern RPG, there'd be some stealth bullshit mini-game. Thankfully, this is not the case, and it's not too far before Goku triggers the next event. A white mage is running down the hall, and bumps in to Goku. He puts the mack daddy moves on her.
Wait a second...what would a normal, run of the mill white mage be doing running around here? It's gotta be the Princess!
Get 'er!
...Oh Jesus, it's the Recurring Sub-Bosses. Anyway, they bumble about trying to tell the Queen about the Princess getting the hell out of Dodge.
That luscious bit of warrior woman is Beatrix, and she is the only reason this game was made. Anyway, she informs the Queen about the princess. She calls upon her...
...4 votes to name this eye liner-wearing slab of manly awesome.
Worst Forums Ever, NAME THAT CHARACTER!