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Author Topic: Zelda Blows  (Read 23066 times)

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Brentai

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Zelda Blows
« on: September 20, 2008, 03:47:03 PM »

I'm tempted to double back and finally pick up Twilight Princess, but I feel like that would be trying to wash down a Coors Light with a Fat Tire right now.  Yeah, it's a hugely superior beer, but... it's still just more beer.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2008, 12:54:15 PM »

Good on you.

I am playing Oracle of Seasons again (for the first time). I just went into a volcano dungeon only to find that it's full of ice. What the fuck, nintendo? I want a fucking refund, this is a slap in the face.
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Friday

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2008, 12:55:50 PM »

*takes a drink*
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Lady Duke

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2008, 01:59:04 PM »

Nor, how can you play a game again for the first time?
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2008, 02:01:13 PM »

Ever play a game half-way through, don't touch it for a while, then start playing it again and play past where you last stop playing?

Or: Oracle of the Ages
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Lady Duke

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2008, 02:02:19 PM »

I suppose that works.

I never did beat ages or seasons....and then I lent them out and the faggot lost them because he was a supreme faggot.  And that's why I never lend out games or movies anymore :3
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2008, 02:07:11 PM »

Games are always lent to the persons who should not have games lent to them.

Take my brother, for example. I lent him Resident Evil 4. He lost it. And he also broke his gamecube somehow. And the big-screen TV he had. With an axe.

After the recent hurricane he came to me again, going all "please lend me Metroid Prime and some other games, please! I don't have anything to play!" I, put on the spot like that, lent him Metroid Prime.

Then his girlfriend bought him a PS3.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2008, 02:09:52 PM »

Or: Oracle of the Ages

This is actually correct. I could only get one when i was a wee tyke!

The difficulty in Ages is "how the cunt do i actually solve this puzzle" and the difficulty in Seasons is "jesus christ if manhandla hits me again i will die and i still don't know how to even hurt him and i don't have a potion help help help"

Both of them are pretty much better than any nintendo-made zelda games! see also: Wokami.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2008, 02:37:39 PM »

The difficulty in Ages is "how the cunt do i actually solve this puzzle" and the difficulty in Seasons is "jesus christ if manhandla hits me again i will die and i still don't know how to even hurt him and i don't have a potion help help help"

It's telling that Seasons is sort of a remake of the original LoZ (you can see where they copied some of the map designs) and Ages is sort of a remake of OoT (you can see where they copied some of the map designs and then turned them 2D).  You get a very definite Action Zelda / Puzzle Zelda schism between the two.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2008, 03:13:53 PM »

I don't know if they copied any of the dungeons directly, but yeah, it's clear that that's what they're doing.

Both oracle games also have some of the best items in zelda history. Why have we not seen the Magnetic Gloves, Roc's Cape, the Switch Shot or magic rings in later games? ANOTHER SLAP IN THE FACE.
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Kayma

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2008, 03:18:29 PM »

Seasons and Ages were both freaking incredible. I can't find my copy of Seasons (almost certainly lost by 4 years of moving to and from college), but I'd really love to play them both again someday.

I completely agree that it's a crime we haven't seen some of these items survive to newer games.
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Classic

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2008, 03:37:26 PM »

Bomb+Arrow=Genius and how my clumsy self woke up the wind fish.
I'd like to see more neat combos going on.

Maybe I should actually go buy a portable Zelda from Seasons/Ages onwards before making that comment.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2008, 04:30:27 PM »

The rings were kind of widgety for the Zelda series, but the seed shooter was  :wuv:

(Am I ignoring certain posts?   :whoops:)
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2008, 04:33:11 PM »

Well i don't know about the implementation but the idea of  having little things you can equip to affect yourself in minor ways (e.g. rang rings or the whimsy ring) is fun and adds a little customization to the game, which is nice.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2008, 05:01:37 PM »

Well sure, but it doesn't fit into the series' KISS mantra very well.
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Catloaf

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2008, 05:04:26 PM »

I've yet to play Zelda: OoA, but I've gotten the last boss of OoS to 1/4 of his final form.  I should really play OoA.  Maybe I can beat that one.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2008, 05:54:24 PM »

Well sure, but it doesn't fit into the series' KISS mantra very well.

With ten thousand equippable items and a slew (sometimes even a bevy!) of unlockable sword attacks in every game?
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2008, 07:02:48 PM »

Roc's Cape
It was also in Minish Cap. Minish Cap also included the oh-so-impressive Cane of Pacci.

I'd like to see more neat combos going on.
Twilight Princess had a few, including the return of bomb-arrows.

I recognize that you probably knew all of that already.
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...but is it art?

Brentai

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2008, 07:31:10 PM »

Well sure, but it doesn't fit into the series' KISS mantra very well.

With ten thousand equippable items and a slew (sometimes even a bevy!) of unlockable sword attacks in every game?

I admit I haven't played Twilight Princess, but what Zelda games have you been playing?  Generally the only equippables are straightfoward tunic-sword upgrades, and the rest is just a pile of widgets that perform different functions, but don't alter any intrinsic stats (and usually don't see much play outside of a handful of situations anyway).  And the only unlockable sword technique is the upgraded whirlwind thing, unless you're talking about the rhythm game special attacks in WW.

I actually got that copy of Sam and Max Season 1 working a few days ago. It's made me laugh out loud a few times, and most of the puzzles are actually pretty logically put together

Hell yeah.  It continues to amaze me that the adventure series most based around comic insanity actually has the most logical puzzles.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Sucks
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2008, 07:51:47 PM »

I admit I haven't played Twilight Princess, but what Zelda games have you been playing?

Twilight Princess.

8.8 is a pretty generous review score.
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