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Author Topic: Good Tiiiiiimessss  (Read 68617 times)

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Thad

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #40 on: February 27, 2009, 06:40:36 PM »

I willingly skipped out on a Flight of the Concords concert this past summer. The phantom pains are as severe today as all the previous yesterdays.

They came into Brad's store and he didn't notice.  He is devastated about it to this day.

There's not a day goes by I don't yell at people "Now you have fucked up!"

You have fucked up now!
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Detonator

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #41 on: February 27, 2009, 10:06:02 PM »

While we're posting Whitest Kids sketches...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6xHwUZHkJ0
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Arc

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #42 on: February 28, 2009, 12:09:09 AM »



And now for my own coda of eagles and Gandalf rape, but in reverse.

Earlier in the week, I whipped through Lord of the Rings: Conquest (aka Middle-Earth: Battlefront, aka Third Age Warriors), accomplishing near absolute subjugation in the second campaign. Th evil campaign. In this, you command Trolls & Uruk-hai alike, marching from Mt. Doom, all the way to the Burning of the Shire. Now, the Shire has a funky mission requirement that pops-up after burning Treebeard to ash. The player is ordered to murder fifty hobbits (complete with on-screen counter) before Gandalf The White can be assed to come out of hiding.

With minimal skill, the player is then given the option to respawn as Sauron The Tall & Lanky, thus enabling a proper duel of the LARP. Thwacking away, the music hits its crescendo, with Gandalf all but vanquished... Until he summons his eagles. They dive bomb in, producing a one-hit kill. Respawn. Eagle dive bomb. Respawn. Eagle dive bomb. Game Over.

Which begs the question. Why did Gandalf allow the systematic genocide of all of Middle-Earth, including that of his closest friends and compatriots... Instead of merely showing up and summoning the dive bombing poultry beforehand?

Gan∑dalf
Function: intransitive verb
usually obscene: to engage in the fucking over of everything, by means of denying apropos intervention
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Brentai

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #43 on: February 28, 2009, 12:14:52 AM »

Every time someone brings it up I have to point out that this question was actually answered in the book.

Short story: He asked, they said no.

The long story is maybe a full sentence or two.
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #44 on: February 28, 2009, 12:23:53 AM »

Yeah, 'cuz it's not like Sauron had swarms of evil bats that gather like black clouds like in the first movie, or Dragon-riding undead monster men like the Nazgul.
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Arc

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #45 on: February 28, 2009, 12:38:12 AM »

Best to stick to the ground then, with all the Orcs, Goblins, Spiders, Trolls, Marauders, Wyrms, Dragons, Balrogs, Nazgul and Bees. Bunch of pushovers, they are.
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Friday

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #46 on: February 28, 2009, 02:01:00 AM »

I think the point is that on the ground you'd have a chance at being undetected. Fly over the mountains, and you're sure to be spotted.

But that would ruin the joke, I guess.
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Thad

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #47 on: February 28, 2009, 09:14:52 AM »

Also, Gandalf was forbidden to face Sauron directly.

Basically, in the First Age, the gods intervened directly in all sorts of shit, and the Elves and Men got bitter about these omnipotent beings always looking over their shoulders and rebelled.

So in the Second Age, the gods didn't do shit and left Elves and Men to their own devices, and everything went to shit.

But the Third Bowl of Porridge was juuuuuust right and the gods sent the Wizards as their emissaries so that they had a hand in shaping the fate of Middle-Earth but were generally supposed to keep a low profile and inspire by example.

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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Brentai

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #48 on: February 28, 2009, 10:36:29 AM »

I thought the Elves were also Gods?
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Arc

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #49 on: February 28, 2009, 11:54:47 AM »

Tolkien simply wrote himself into a corner, and half-assed on excuses. Better than full-assing by ignoring the quandary altogether.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqVD0swvWU
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Mongrel

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #50 on: February 28, 2009, 12:23:31 PM »

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Brentai

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #51 on: February 28, 2009, 12:26:40 PM »

I got to "flaccid, hairy assholes" and then it redirected me to online poker.

Hmmmmm.
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Mongrel

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #52 on: February 28, 2009, 12:47:35 PM »

Goddammit.

I tried to attach it (I have a copy), but the size limit is too small.

I tried to upload the copy I had on my computer, but photobucket kept shrinking it to the point where it couldn't be read.

I tried to find any other site with the full picture (most of them end 1/3rd of the way in), but I had no luck.

...

Anybody got a better idea, I'm ready to hear it.
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Arc

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #53 on: February 28, 2009, 12:55:38 PM »

Tinypic.
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Friday

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #54 on: February 28, 2009, 01:27:25 PM »

Tolkien's writing wasn't perfect, and there are some plot holes, but I still don't understand how flying an eagle into Mordor while Sauron was still alive would have resulted in anything but failure.
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Brentai

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #55 on: February 28, 2009, 05:01:33 PM »

Man, I hope Obama doesn't Gandalf up the next few months.
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BŁge

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #56 on: May 14, 2009, 06:30:07 PM »

Meeting someone you know online is nice.
Meeting someone you know online and get along with online is nicer.
Meeting someone you know online and get along with online and finding out you get along in real life just as well is even nicer than that.
Meeting someone you know online and get along with online and finding out you get along in real life just as well, then making out for like four hours... gosh, I don't think they have a word for it.
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Mongrel

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #57 on: May 14, 2009, 06:32:05 PM »

What happens if you marry that person.

Do we need a whole dictionary for that?
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BŁge

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #58 on: May 14, 2009, 06:37:44 PM »

Oh that's right! High five, Mongrel-man!
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Mongrel

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Re: Good Tiiiiiimessss
« Reply #59 on: May 14, 2009, 06:41:10 PM »

GOOD LUCK BUGE-SAN.

P.S. Good job, Hi-5, etc.

P.P.S. WHERE'S MY HI-5 ICON, DAMMIT! :MENDOZAAAAA:
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