-Hi! I'm calling on behalf of the Royal Bank of Canada to tell you about our identity protection services.
-Uh, yeah, sorry but I'm pretty on the ball with my identity stuff to begin with, and besides that's probably a pay service and I can't afford it.
-You'll be happy to know that we offer a one month free trial-
-And if no one tries to steal my identity during that month, how will I know if your service is any good?
-The service also comes with purchase protection-
-Before I waste more of your time by letting you explain what that is, how much does that even cost?
-Only 8.95$ per month.
-So that's about a hundred dollars per year.
-Yes sir.
-If I subscribe to this service I won't be able to go to the dentist anymore.
-...
-You know what? If someone wants my identity, they can have it.
-Thanks for being a Royal Bank customer, sir.
-Have a nice day!