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Poll

Commands:

Leap into the fray, for prosperous justice!
- 11 (50%)
Slyly attempt escape, as they prey upon the rotund one.
- 5 (22.7%)
Watch on, while biting tongue.
- 6 (27.3%)

Total Members Voted: 22

Voting closed: March 25, 2009, 04:25:21 AM


Author Topic: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!  (Read 2346 times)

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The Mayor

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The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« on: March 23, 2009, 04:24:41 AM »



http://www.worstmayorsever.com/?p=135

Elected Command: Head for the tall buildings with chimneys and thick smoke. Unwelcoming.



The Mayor cracks his neck from side to side and begins powerfully striding toward his destination. He had heard unsavory tales of the district, and felt it wise to never visit in-person before. Now, the smoggy collection of buildings passing themselves off as a township was to be his next step towards electoral salvation.

Further lowering the brim of his musky top hat, he shields his unprotected eyes from the harsh luminous celestial body in the sky. One day, The Sun and he would have words. With their fists.

His mind wanders, recollecting the plains which he now manly traverses. In old times, these lush pockets of green hill zones were ideal for frolicking picnics and majestic hunts for the latest wild beast to snuff out of existence. As the brick buildings on the horizon grow ever closer, he notes that the blades of grass begin growing splotched, and discolored.

Poverty, that ruthless bastard, has begun to screw with Mother Nature, The Mayor angrily concludes. He is stopped from gritting his teeth into powder by the sudden and horrific scream of man coming from over the next ridge.

“Ahhhhh! I am suddenly and horrifically screamings!” Suddenly screams the horrified voice of an older man. “Heeeeeeelps!”

With haste, The Mayor bounds to the tip of the ridge, before jolting still. The sudden and horrific fact that his deep slumber and valiant escape has greatly weakened him washes over. Carefully, The Mayor kneels down, and peers over the ridge’s edge.

“Ahhhhhh! The Povertoids! The Povertoids! They comes! For meeeeees!” says the older man, limping below. Clearly exhausted, the rotund gentleman has shed his dapper garments, now wearing only his trousers and sleeveless undershirt. Drenched in his own excreted moisture, he collapses to the ground like a rotted log.

“No! This can’t be happenings to meeees!” he cries out, head jerking to the opposite ridge from which the Mayor is knelt.

What The Mayor sees next shakes him to his chivalrous core.

A small band of wretched hobos, ambling down upon the gentleman. Four, maybe five? Their mud covered trench coats drag along, as their vomit stained fingerless gloves reach out for the helpless, diet challenged man.

“You! Gets me outtas heres!” begs the chubby victim, now spotting The Mayor.

Closing his eyes, The Mayor clenches his fists.



Commands:

   1. Leap into the fray, for prosperous justice!
   2. Slyly attempt escape, as they prey upon the rotund one.
   3. Watch on, while biting tongue.


Voting ends in 48 hours.
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McDohl

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2009, 04:51:54 AM »

A potential voter if I've ever seen one!
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MadMAxJr

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2009, 04:56:11 AM »

We just punched a demon.  I think we have enough punches left today for a few hobos infested with poverty monsters.
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Kazz

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2009, 07:37:43 AM »

Gotta be political here.  One man, one vote.  Helping the minority against the majority is a good way to lose an election.

Watch them poor up that fat man.
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2009, 07:49:45 AM »

Might as well crack some Povertoid heads and make necklaces from their control skewers
on the other hand, I don't like the way our new friend talks. let him lose his money

also, having words with sun with fists made me chuckle
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Kayma

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2009, 07:54:57 AM »

Oh, hobos. What are they gonna do, urinate us to death?

...

 :ohshi~: Oh god I hope they don't urinate us to death.
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MadMAxJr

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2009, 07:55:46 AM »

They're going to tell people it's okay to be poor!
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Fortinbras

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2009, 08:20:47 AM »

Kazzius Kazz, the violent hobo demographic doesn't vote on self interest or gratitude!  They vote for the man who's able to clobber 'em if they don't do what he says!

I never met an economic problem that couldn't be solved with brawlin'.
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Brentai

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2009, 08:21:07 AM »

:objection: The Mayor's hat forever smells of leather and polish, as if freshly relieved from the haberdashery!
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Kazz

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2009, 08:24:46 AM »

Kazzius Kazz, the violent hobo demographic doesn't vote on self interest or gratitude!

Bullshit!

Round those fuckers up, give em a can o' beans each for a check on the ticket, and you've got yourself an office.  They're not stupid; they know that a The Mayor who ain't a mayor ain't a The Mayor.

Hearts and minds.  Can't just scare 'em or they'll spite you in the booth.
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Arc

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2009, 07:34:12 AM »

:richiam: When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!
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Guild

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2009, 11:21:08 AM »

:richiam: When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!

MCCAIN 08
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SCD

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2009, 11:40:25 AM »

The homeless are a plague that must be reformed, before all hell breaks loose. 

It's time for the fists of justice, once again!
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Guild

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2009, 02:24:05 PM »

Please tell me we are beating up the homeless in this thread.

That would be so very keen.

Let's do that right now, yes.
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Defenestration

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2009, 02:29:14 PM »

The only obvious solution to problems is violence. Yes, this includes poverty.
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Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem

Arc

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2009, 02:32:14 PM »

Let's do that right now, yes.

:proceed: We require more electorial gas.
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Brentai

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2009, 03:36:22 PM »

Construck additional voting booths.
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The Mayor

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Re: The Mayor - Chapter 6 - Povertoids!
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2009, 04:46:43 AM »

Command: Leap into the fray, for prosperous justice!
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