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Author Topic: Suicide Club!  (Read 22741 times)

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SCD

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #100 on: July 03, 2009, 04:57:51 AM »

I suggest death of character. 

Get up at five, walk three kilometres daily, then move it to a jogging, then a running level over time.  Bring an ipod and listen to fast aggressive music or lincoln park, if you have a penchant for the awful.  If you prefer the latter, I strongly suggest Hybrid Theroy, as its paceing is just right for what you want to do. 

Buy a couple dumb-bells and do various exercises as much as possible every second day until your muscles barely respond.  Do five pushups or sit ups on every minute while you watch television.  Bonus points if you can find a sports store than does trade-ins, as you might have to get heavier ones over time.

Chances are your body will become overwhelmed to this sudden change that your self as you know it will be dead within two months.  No sweat.
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Mongrel

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #101 on: July 03, 2009, 05:06:37 AM »

I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.

Attention grab? Maybe, maybe not. But the main thing is that either way he's not going to get the help he needs from this board. We are not psychologists, psychiatrists, or doctors. Few enough of us are stable or without issues of our own. And I'll be damned if any of us manages to exercise any kind of proper objectivity.

Posting here is not a placebo for better help. Hell, it's probably one-step removed from self-treatment.   
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JDigital

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #102 on: July 03, 2009, 06:44:01 AM »

I think the canonical response is to suggest he fall on a chainsaw.
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Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #103 on: July 03, 2009, 09:02:45 AM »

If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.
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Cyan Prime

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #104 on: July 03, 2009, 09:04:26 AM »

AIM: Soracross
AIM: TurquoisePrime
MSN: soracross99@yahoo.com

AIM is best as MSN gives me problems on Pidgin.
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Detonator

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #105 on: July 03, 2009, 09:22:04 AM »

I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.  
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Cthulhu-chan

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #106 on: July 03, 2009, 09:22:29 AM »

If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.

This may or may not be the worst advice ever.  I never understood depression until my stint in the army.  I'm cool now, but I've been out for several years.  Some people do flourish in the military, but turbo nerds typically do not.

Still, play your cards right, and you could get some good times out of it.  These days, you'll probably end up in Afghanistan, though.
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Cyan Prime

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #107 on: July 03, 2009, 09:25:05 AM »

I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.  
Well, how would I bring it up if I were dead?  :nyoro~n:
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Detonator

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #108 on: July 03, 2009, 09:26:53 AM »

Exactly
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #109 on: July 03, 2009, 09:46:39 AM »

If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.

This may or may not be the worst advice ever.  I never understood depression until my stint in the army.  I'm cool now, but I've been out for several years.  Some people do flourish in the military, but turbo nerds typically do not.

Still, play your cards right, and you could get some good times out of it.  These days, you'll probably end up in Afghanistan, though.

If you were gonna commit suicide, I think coming back with some scars, stories and sex appeal on top of whatever benefits you can milk out of it with a bit of careful research is a pretty win-win scenario. And by God, maybe some maturity and perspective. The boy's not happy right now, that's for sure, and I bet his sister won't comp him the therapy he can't afford because he doesn't have a job and she'll stab him over stolen yoohoos, I guess.

I'd say your points are valid to any other lost youth, but this is Sora. There aren't enough feet in steel-toed boots in the world to kick the stupid out of his ass and every moment he waits is wasted kicking time.
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Mongrel

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #110 on: July 03, 2009, 09:56:54 AM »

I forget... has Doom been in the military?
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Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #111 on: July 03, 2009, 09:58:37 AM »

They've stormed my fortress a few times.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #112 on: July 03, 2009, 10:00:41 AM »

I don't know what that means
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Mongrel

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #113 on: July 03, 2009, 10:00:58 AM »

They've stormed my fortress a few times.

Working at one of those clubs with neon lights and cool firepoles near a barracks, does not count as "having served".





What do you charge for Happy Endings?

 :suave:
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #114 on: July 03, 2009, 10:02:40 AM »

 :lol:
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Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #115 on: July 03, 2009, 10:05:48 AM »

$27.50.
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SCD

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #116 on: July 03, 2009, 10:13:32 AM »

This is usually my default suggestion.  Nothing teaches people to man up like active service. 

However, I believe Sora/Cyan/blargstein has already thrown back his excuses. 
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Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #117 on: July 03, 2009, 10:15:49 AM »

Well yeah, as I recall he is "too busy" to get a real job and even begin to understand a single bit of responsibility, I'd hate to see how sad he becomes when his sister kicks him out.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #118 on: July 03, 2009, 10:39:39 AM »

Never mind, there's nothing the military could do that wouldn't be an improvement in this case.

edit:
JOIN THE MILITARY
 :advice:
GET BLOWN UP OR WHATEVER
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Mongrel

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #119 on: July 03, 2009, 11:29:54 AM »

I always wonder what a professional military thinks of being considered the dumping ground for its nation's social failures.

'Better people, better product' is no less true when it comes to blowing up shit and killing folks. Just ask the Israeli Air Force.
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