Suicide is a bad choice. Depression has clinical, not-your-fault causes. Lack of interest, thoughts of suicide, lack of personal hygiene... these are symptomatic of depression, which is a chemical imbalance usually caused by various influences not the least of which are (typically) mental instabilities.
If you want my honest advice, and tl;dr the entire thread, you should get some kind of help that works for you. I'm certainly available. Talk to someone about your problems. Sometimes just having someone try to comprehend the problems we're facing goes far to eliminate the mental side of depression, which can often be the entire problem in itself, with the rest of the symptoms stemming from that original lack of empathy.
Personally, my discretion bears some burden on your part: Don't do anything rash before we've had a bit more of a chance to hash out your problems, please. Foisting that guilt on me would be unfair in the extreme, as I am a very emotional person and would take it very hard.
