Given that there is maybe a 50% chance that CyanPrime is basically asking us to give us reasons for him not to kill himself (in a rather roundabout way), I must say that
Ah ah ah! You guys kill me! you guys really inspire faith my fellow man.
If you want to talk about stupid "Darwinist" bullshit, then start talking about it on the grand scale and get with the genocide plans and the doomsday machines. But at the level of the individual, these kinds of selfish little misanthropic displays are out-and-out retarded. I didn't realize I'd been on an Aspergers forum this whole time.
someone who's going to kill himself doesn't go to his friends and go "hey dudes, should i kill myself? y/b"
Actually, they do. Yes. That tends to be the 'cry for help'-type of attention whore suicide, but dead is still dead, last time I checked. Plenty of "Oh I didn't
really mean to kill myself suicides end in "Oh shit!" REAL DEATH.
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I'm more interested in Cyan's actual circumstances. Speaking as someone who daily confronts the question "What do you do if you really
are a loser without hope but do
not wish to kill yourself?", I'd like to know what you consider to be failure and/or non-contribution?
Because the way I look at it, either your proximity to the problem blinds you to a simple solution OR you do have a serious problem which you can perhaps be helped with.
Do you have full or partial acute depressive episodes where people can't communicate with you and you can't do anything? Or is it more of a general malaise, combined with failure and/or lack of hope in whatever goals you may have set for yourself?
I mean, it's more than me just trying to play "retard on the internet wants to HELP you". Suicide is a personal thing, and you can't put these kinds of questions into perspective without the relevant information.
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As for my general thoughts on suicide, I always looked at it like this ('you' and 'your' being used in a purely general sense below):
If I ever found myself in a position where I just couldn't take it any more, I would instead resolve to be a homeless deranged derelict. You effectively drop out of society, you can say and do just about anything you want, you're no burden on family or friends if you just disappear, and substance abuse becomes a happily accepted way of dealing with your issues.
The lifestyle will probably kill you quickly enough and if by any chance, you're not dead after a while and you feel like you made a mistake, like you feel like "coming back to life", the option is a whole lot more feasible than if you
really kill yourself. Yes, you may have health issues, and will have lost years off your life, but hey, considering death was the alternative and you just decided to live, you're already up by more than you could ever normally hope to be in that circumstance.