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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie  (Read 123542 times)

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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #40 on: October 18, 2008, 11:32:24 PM »

 :doit:
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Doom

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2008, 01:28:27 AM »

Every Sunday that we have Wiis an extended Korean family comes in and buys them one at a time, for as many family members as they can round up. They never buy warranties or apply for credit cards, but they take copious advantage of any bundle deals or sales we have. I asked a year ago(my first Wii sunday that I noticed this) and six months ago(probably at a peculiar order ala last night) and my boss said that so long as they pay properly, we can't really deny them an order because it's outlandish.

So you basically end up with some old asian grandmother who can't speak English being guided through a credit transaction by her son/nephew and being very happy to get their fifth Wii. They bugged me mildly when I gave a flying fuck about selling warranties and credit cards.

But seriously. 27 copies of Wii Play(dropped from $1300 to $950.)

The creepiest part that I left out...

Is that while I was double checking the ring order, because ringing the same item 27 times can play tricks with the mind and eyes, he announced off the top of his head what the total should be and then sheepishly said he was very good with numbers.

...  ::D:
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Bal

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #42 on: October 19, 2008, 02:15:27 AM »

The idea of a Korean Wii cartel is the best thing I've heard in ages.
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McDohl

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #43 on: October 20, 2008, 04:56:42 AM »

Bal's avatar has never been more appropriate.
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MadMAxJr

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #44 on: October 21, 2008, 07:42:55 AM »

Don't cross them or they will follow you to every starcraft game you ever thought about playing in the future.

You're going to wake up in the morning, pull down your bed cover and discover /creep/ all over the damn place and a zealot head.
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #45 on: October 22, 2008, 10:37:46 PM »

: Prepare yourselves for a fantastically mystical adventure filled with suspense, mystery and goblins.

: No.

: What?

: There were no goblins.

: Okay, so just suspense and mystery.  Prepare yourselves for...THE NIGHT OF THE TOWER OF TERROR!

The story begins with me noticing that the fountain machine is completely devoid of syrup for the Dr. Pepper slot.  Since no one has actually shown me how to remedy this, I ask my coworker, Areal (because Ariel was too generic, I guess), to run the explanation by me.  So we head into the back room and the mystery of the soda fountain bags is revealed to me and Areal leaves to tend to the growing customer count while I handle changing the bags.

: Hey, this doesn't look so hard.  Figures that the Dr. Pepper one is at the absolute bottom.  Guess I'll just have to move the others out of the way.

Now our store is designed by a retarded monkey, so there's practically no space to move around in the back room between the ice machine, dish sink, mop sink and the steel rack housing the syrup bags for the fountain.  With so little storage space, the thing is horribly cramped for a big mass of blackitude such as myself, but regardless, the bags of syrup are stacked on both sides of the rack with two canisters of CO2 sitting next to the boxes on the right.  Ever diligent about doing my job right and not getting fired, I go about shifting the boxes on the left into a pile beside me.  This is fine and dandy until the foundation of the structure, a crate full of milk, gives way as more and more weight is rested upon it.  Suddenly, a trap is sprung!

: I'm going to need a Reflex save from you.

::D:

: Does...does that work?

: Hmm...I'm thinking...

: NO!  FUCK YOU!

My innate half-nigger racial bonus to reflex saves fails to save me and the tower of syrup boxes topples over onto me, sending me falling into the stack of boxes on the right side of the steel rack.  With a heavy thud, I bounce off them and land with my back against the entrance to the cooler while the boxes' collective falls are broken by my legs.  In particular is the pyramid of power that has formed a barrier around my left knee and ankle.  Before I can be lulled into a false sense of security, the trap activates its Pincer Attack trap card, leading to the two CO2 canisters to descend and strike me in the back of the head.



: Toasty!

Fifteen minutes later, I feel to fingers on the side of my neck and a voice telling me to wake up followed by a few shakes to bring me back to the realm of the living.  Areal is kneeling in front of me, ready to slap me in the face if I didn't get up.  She inquires as to the circumstances that lead to my situation and I explain the devious trap that was devised to doom me temporarily.  I'm not worse for wear, save for the terrible pain in my left knee and a lump on the head.

I knew I should've listened to that voice that told me to stay home.
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Kazz

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #46 on: October 22, 2008, 11:25:46 PM »

Good story.

But did you do her?
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #47 on: October 22, 2008, 11:27:06 PM »

Nah, she's already engaged and she's not my type.
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2008, 11:35:24 PM »

CLEARLY YOU ARE A MISOGYNIST
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2008, 11:45:01 PM »

OKAY OKAY I'M ACTUALLY SHALLOW AND AM ENTHRALLED WITH HER ODDLY SHAPED FOREHEAD THAT KIND OF MAKES IT LOOK LIKE HER HEAD MAY HAVE BEEN CAVED IN AT SOME POINT
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Guild

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #50 on: October 23, 2008, 12:55:46 AM »

i totally would have banged her

also that story is hilarious because of my many memories of changing those boxes, my convenience store/fast food brother

those bagoxes of syrup are effing heavy, too... you can't stack more than like four of them or the bottom one gets crushed
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Kazz

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #51 on: October 23, 2008, 02:16:34 AM »

Yeah.

I wanted, so badly, to cut the tube and suck on the syrup.  But that would have been bad for a billion reasons.
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Niku

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #52 on: October 23, 2008, 06:32:28 AM »

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Guild

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #53 on: October 23, 2008, 07:36:32 AM »

Yeah.

I wanted, so badly, to cut the tube and suck on the syrup.  But that would have been bad for a billion reasons.

Have a friend pinch the water tube feed while you fill your soda and BAM, pure syrup (that you won't be able to drink).
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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #54 on: October 23, 2008, 07:41:00 AM »

I think Boomspeed collapsed because I can't see any of the pictures in Alex's post.

EDIT: Now they work. Now he just needs to fix the typos.
EDIT2: Typo defeated. Take 100XP and a minor potion, Alex.
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François

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #55 on: October 23, 2008, 10:16:11 AM »

I've had a mostly-syrup Sprite once. It put me off the drink completely. I still can't have even regular Sprite.
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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #56 on: October 23, 2008, 11:05:09 AM »

On a plane trip, I had an unexpected 2hr layover due to plane troubles in the Denver airport, so they gave us all a $10 voucher for the food court. I got myself some burger king.

I took one sip and literally just dropped the cup shivering from how off it tasted. Way, way too much syrup. Eugh, still gives me goosebumps. I was thirsty so I had taken a HUGE gulp of it.
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Misha

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #57 on: October 23, 2008, 11:14:33 AM »

I have a hard time drinking undiluted mountain dew now that I'm used to diet
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2008, 02:11:48 PM »

An all-syrup Super Squishee?  Suh-such a thing has never been attempted!
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Defenestration

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #59 on: October 23, 2008, 07:07:43 PM »

I've never drank a syrup heavy drink, but I did almost spit take one time from getting root beer instead of Mountain Dew.

I put it to my lips, fully expecting the sweet taste of Dew and retched. I actually like root beer, but for that moment that I was completely expecting Mountain Dew it was the most horrible thing ever. And then it passed and it was fine and I drank it all.
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