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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie  (Read 124177 times)

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McDohl

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #80 on: November 12, 2008, 06:23:44 AM »

I'd share my dopey work stories, but, unfortunately, as I think I'm the only one out of this board that's in the aviation maintenance industry, only I'd get the humor in the jokes, so I'll just settle with this:

I accidentally left a pair of wire cutters in my pocket last night and got woken up early this morning. :derp:
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #81 on: November 12, 2008, 09:00:50 AM »

I hope that's not technically also a 'Status of my Rod' post... :ohshi~:
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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #82 on: November 12, 2008, 09:34:44 AM »

Yeah, all I really do is complain about dumb people at this point, although current conditions are pretty nice. 

I still have the military job in my specialty field, but I work with a team of four people right now, and we're physically seperated from who we work for by a few kilometres and some fencing. 

The place is a dump, but it's a dump that's wired with Cat-6 cable and a shitload of toys.  The pay is a bit better since I got promoted the other month, but I still need to finish off my comp sci degree before I get past the 50k / year mark.

I find my best jobs are farthest away from the centres of command and involve small teams in shitty places with long and hard work that will require myself to go beyond bankers hours.  But then again as the youngest one still there, if I'm working there beyond bankers hours, so are the others.
 :wuv:

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McDohl

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #83 on: November 12, 2008, 09:34:53 AM »

... Okay, kids.  Consider this a "MY FIRST GUIDE TO NAVAL AVIATION MAINTENANCE" by Fisher Price.

Whenever I work on the airplane, I have to check tools out of the tool crib.  When this is done, the box is checked for all tools being accounted for (also known as ATAF).  When the box is returned, it is also ATAFed.  Somewhere in there, the box didn't get ATAFed at the end of the night, and I had a pair of dikes (short for "diagonal cutters") in my pocket, and I took them home.  This is a Bad Thing (tm).  I get a call at 7:45 this morning that "Oh shit, there's a tool missing."  Now, the plane isn't going to go flying today, so it's not so much of a shitstorm, but if it WERE going to go flying...well, I might not have a job anymore.  Anyway, suffice to say, it just makes me look like an idiot.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #84 on: November 12, 2008, 09:54:29 AM »

I think that, if my body had ever allowed for a more 'manly' (LOL) occupation, the military would have crossed my mind... but I think what I really would have liked to do is be one of those RCMP dorks posted out in the middle of absolutely nowhere.

I mean, I don't have a problem with authority per se, but I do have a problem with stupid authority (whatever gave you THAT idea?). You have a lot of free reign out in the middle of nowhere (I don't mind the greater responsibility that goes with that) and it's nice and quiet (most of the time). Sort of like Andy Griffith (or Hamish MacBeth) vs. the backwoods Canada and all its horrible social ills.

I think I might've done something useful that way. I would've had a lot more fun anyway. Certainly, I've always known I'll never be able to survive a life at any kind of corporate job. Even the flashy kind where you make a lot of money, fly around lot, and mostly just talk at people.
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Zaratustra

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #85 on: November 12, 2008, 10:22:00 AM »

"Now, the worst case is 320 instructions"
"Actually, you will never need more than 164 instructions for any--"
"BUT THAT IS NOT THE WORST CASE IS IT"

"Now we assume we can execute an instruction every 100 microseconds" 
"Uh, you're overstating the time by a factor of--"
"YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT A WORST CASE MEANS YOU SEE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

why not assume our balls are being bitten by rabid wolverines while we're at it

later

"why are we dividing this input process in four"
"BECAUSE EACH PROCESS DOES DIFFERENT THINGS AND IT'S GOOD TO DIVIDE"
"then why there is no output process"
"BECAUSE THE REGULAR PROCESSES CAN HANDLE THAT"

fsgfgsfgsg

Classic

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #86 on: November 12, 2008, 10:43:12 AM »

All this time I thought Zara lived in a magical fairyland where he was allowed to be awesome and productive all day without retards fucking it up.
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #87 on: November 12, 2008, 11:02:29 AM »

Iron Mongrel - sounds like you needed to get out and dodge anyway.

:?:
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #88 on: November 12, 2008, 12:46:11 PM »

I'm pretty sure that's a typo and that he meant 'out OF Dodge'.
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Cannon

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #89 on: November 12, 2008, 02:02:15 PM »

This didn't happen to me. I'm got it second-hand from the manager in question, but when he passed it on the occurence was probably still fresh in his mind and thusly recent (as I'll go on about a little later).

A lady calls up to place an order for her daughter and puts it on her credit card. So far, not so strange. We take the card number, expiration date, and the last three digits of the protection number on the back over the phone. We print out a slip to be signed, but because we already have all the required information, most anyone can sign it. It's mostly just proof that the order has been delivered and the transaction is completed, so the driver leaves a copy for the customer and brings the other copy with their John Hancock back. The card isn't charged properly until the end of the night, so if the customer wants to cancel the order before it goes out (or when the driver arrives at the door - thanks for the wasted time and gas, guy), it can just be voided and there will be no deduction. So she's ordering for someone else and won't be there. Okay. She knows the total bill and we're counting this as permission. Fly, my pizza delivery monkey, fly.

There's also an option for the person who picks it up to leave a tip on the card when they sign it. This is pertinent to our fun little tale.

Jeremy delivers the pizza. He's our most veteran driver, and is very professional. I'm quite confident that it was delivered in a timely manner and that he was in no way rude, so the daughter must've justifiably thought he deserved a tip. She puts a two dollar gratuity down and he goes back to home base. Not really great (particularly since go juice was around four-fifty a gallon then), but better than nothing.

So mommy calls back some time after the pizza has been delivered, and she is livid. The daughter wasn't supposed to put any tip on the card, she says. Apparently, she is fond of pointing out that she (the mother) is a cop. Like it matters when things are so clear-cut. It gets really "interesting" when the daughter says she didn't put any tip on the card. So we're playing That Game, are we? The one where we contrast a customer's honesty with that of the people you work with regularly and know much better?

It's usually at this point that we hand the customer over to the home office, because we can't give money back for an order. Naturally, they'd love us for granting them the honor of dealing with this harridan. However, the mother won't let it go. She's not making any big deal out of the order in itself, she just thinks Jeremy is a thief and her daughter is innocent. The manager relents, and agrees to send another driver (Jon) back to the address with two dollars.This is irregular, but gives me an idea of what a pain in the butt she was. Interestingly, the daughter wouldn't even come to the door to accept the refunded tip. Almost like she's... Ashamed of something she did wrong, perhaps? Jon says she whispered something to the effect of "No, no. I don't want to even look at him." Some dude takes the couple bucks and Jon returns.

Ring, ring. Officer McKvetchy is not done.

Couldn't she just call the local office and register a complaint? No, she's here with the daughter in a conference call! And she's apparently a stuck recording. "Blah, blah, I'm a cop. Your guy is a crook." The manager has had enough. He's listened to her carry on about this for nearly an hour, so she needs to SHUT UP. That's verbatim. He outright shouted out the "silence, foul witch" part when he was telling me the story. You could hear a pin drop after. The manager relays his end of things, and says that Jeremy has a virtually photographic memory when it comes to his job (this is true, and helps with his efficiency, naturally). I don't recall him saying he did this, but he probably pointed out that Jeremy couldn't have held down his gig for over a decade if he wasn't trustworthy.

"Well, can you make some note that anyone delivering a credit card order here shouldn't get a tip?"

"Ma'am, that's a moot consideration now." Click.

Funny. We usually only blacklist a place after multiple problem orders. I wonder why he made an exception...?
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Guild

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #90 on: November 12, 2008, 03:31:17 PM »

Quote
It gets really "interesting" when the daughter says she didn't put any tip on the card. So we're playing That Game, are we? The one where we contrast a customer's honesty with that of the people you work with regularly and know much better?

Wait, you didn't even know if there was a tip? Or you found out about it after this phonecall?

Wouldn't it have been easier just to remove the tip from the bill? Did your company tell her at the time of her phone purchase that a tip option came with the home-sign receipt?
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Shinra

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #91 on: November 12, 2008, 04:01:51 PM »

How did mommy know that a tip was made in the first place???
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Cannon

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #92 on: November 12, 2008, 05:10:25 PM »

Wait, you didn't even know if there was a tip? Or you found out about it after this phonecall?

Wouldn't it have been easier just to remove the tip from the bill? Did your company tell her at the time of her phone purchase that a tip option came with the home-sign receipt?

Yes, the manager knew there was a tip. It's written on the copy we get back and the driver gets it with their drive pay when they're cashed out at the end of the night. He wouldn't have added it on there otherwise. What the daughter was doing was lying when she said she didn't write the tip on there.

Also, yes. They could've just taken the tip off, even after it was "locked in" after the order was closed. The manager wanted Jeremy to keep his tip AND for the mother to be happy because she got her money back, practically speaking. I would assume that Jon was taking a run that was close. He was doing Jeremy a favor, obviously. It was only two bucks, so he had to have paid out of pocket. This is not normal, but just proves to me that the manager wanted the matter closed.

Come to think of it, there could've been a gap of a few days between Jeremy's delivery and the mother calling in and not much would be lost. So either the manager didn't want Jeremy to be stiffed, or the transaction had been completed utterly and she wanted her two dollars back. I do believe it was the former, but everything holds if it was the latter.

Sometimes we do point it out to them (I'm a driver, so I make a habit of mentioning it when I take phone orders), but we don't really need to when the "gratuity" space is written on the credit card slip that they sign. Some people just casually sign it and hand it over without either noticing or caring (which means that if they didn't tip in cash, they didn't really care about tipping at all - What's so hard about asking the driver "Okay, can I add a tip to this?"); the daughter had to have been looking for it, or asked about it.

How did mommy know that a tip was made in the first place???

We take the card number, expiration date, and the last three digits of the protection number on the back over the phone. We print out a slip to be signed, but because we already have all the required information, most anyone can sign it. It's mostly just proof that the order has been delivered and the transaction is completed, so the driver leaves a copy for the customer and brings the other copy with their John Hancock back.

Hmm. It would seem to be the latter, then. The mother checked her account and it didn't match the record the driver left. The daughter couldn't have gotten away with lying if she was stupid enough to record the tip on the copy she got from the driver.

I know there could've been an addition of "at least a day" between the main events, but that doesn't change up anything. She read the ticket. Mother is a controlling harpy and daughter is a fibber. My storytime is over. Better luck next time, Shinra.
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BŁge

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #93 on: November 12, 2008, 06:13:01 PM »

(grievances that would look good nailed to the door of your former workplace)

Now I know why you and Koi want to come work at the bakery.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #94 on: November 12, 2008, 07:41:00 PM »

Actually things are looking okay. Might get a job with Honda (same kind of warranty nonsense).

At any rate, that's just survival stuff. The real plan is to go back to school to get a teaching Masters (apply in a little under a year, be in school in a little less than 2) and go annoy kids for the rest of my life.

It's something I resisted for a long time, because I didn't want it to be a case of "Those who can't do, teach.", but enough time has passed that I'm sure this is something I'll enjoy (and be good at) on its own merits.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #95 on: November 13, 2008, 11:08:10 AM »

More hilarious tales from (ex)-work.

So. When I started, the office had nice decent computer chairs to sit in. Not super-expensive, but good and serviceable. Wear and tear (and a little abuse) took its toll on a lot of the chairs, whose armrests started falling apart. Keep in mind that these chairs had been in a call centre environment for nigh on 3 years; so it wasn't like these chairs hadn't done their fair duty.

So when they bought chairs to replace some of the old ones, they did something interesting: they bought chairs with no armrests at all. Now I dunno about you guys, but that's ergonomically horrible and a GREAT way to give all your employees carpal tunnel. It was a stupid kneejerk reaction on the part of management and yet another example of their preferred "Schoolmarm/Bad Mom" school of management. So my running gag regarding the chairs became to mimic the director's voice and say "If you kids can't treat your armrests nicely, you won't have any at all!"

I called a friend at work today to ask about some stuff and you know what he told me was going on?

A workman was going around the office removing all the armrests from the chairs that still had them.

 :wakka: :scanners:
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #96 on: November 13, 2008, 11:13:37 AM »

...At my old job, I had a chair with only ONE armrest.
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Fredward

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #97 on: November 13, 2008, 11:16:44 AM »

Was it on the wrong side, too?  ::D:
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Niku

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #98 on: November 13, 2008, 12:44:41 PM »

oh boy I sure am glad I have a whole day off to myself to play lich king

Oh wait I'm at work because someone called in sick, just like what happened the past two weeks.
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MadMAxJr

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #99 on: November 13, 2008, 01:22:38 PM »

I have until Christmas to essentially rebuild an entire piece of software, because all they can do is complain about how it doesn't work, when they DIDN'T GIVE ANY REQUIREMENTS TO BEGIN WITH.

Research Guy: Hey.  Hey Max.  Make a Survey system.

Max: Okay.

Band-aid fixes become entire bloody bolt-on features.  Code-bloat becomes almost exponential as we put bolt-ons on top of bolt-ons.  It's got more rivets than a naval carrier and about as effective as 40k ork engineering.

Research Guy: This thing sucks.  I can't work it very well.  The users can't do X, Y, and Z.

Max: Couldn't you have said something BEFORE I finished it?  Perhaps during the previews I sent you?  Your direct reports actually use this very well, and were able to use the manual I made.

Research Guy: I want to be able to adjust all the spacing.  I want to be able to assign colors to arrows.  Want want want.


My boss really needs to focus on requirements gathering.  I'm more of a programmer than a developer.  (Write code vs. write problem solution).

So now I have to drop every fucking thing, including the next seven projects in line, and redo this.
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