So it's 3 in the afternoon on Wednesday and I'm just getting into work. The boss is putzing around like he usually is when I show up, and upon noticing me, he pulls me aside while getting ultra friendly with me. Now, Marty is typically a laidback and jolly guy, but this was THAT kind of friendly.
: (Uh oh, I know where this is going already.)
The conversation starts up with him complimenting the good work I've been doing to make second shift a lot less shitty and how everyone is saying good things about me, district manager included. When he thinks I've been sufficiently buttered up, he drops the bomb on me.
"Alex, buddy, I need you to do me a favor."
: (Son of a bitch!) What's up, Marty?
"I know you're supposed to be off on Friday and Saturday, but I need you to come in on Saturday at 7 AM to cover for someone on 1st shift."
: (NO NO NO NO NO NO YOU BASTARD FUCK YOU!) Yeah, sure. I can do that.
"Great, you were the only one I could ask to do this for me. I've got the paper work done already and everything. I'll give you Thursday off instead of Saturday and I'll make it up to you for helping me out like this. Trust me!"
: (With what? Some free hotdogs off the grill? Oh wait, I already get that!) Oh, cool. Thanks.
"No no, thank you, buddy. You're a legend in the making here!"
If there's one thing I hate, it's being given a choice for novelty purposes only. But wait, there's more! The gas station I work at had the most drive-offs in the state of Wyoming for a month, so the district manager had the store switched over to pre-pay only right before I started. This is fine, because it's less likely I'll get put in the noose for letting punks get free gas because I'm busy trying to work. The problem lies in the fact that no one else knows, so at least 75% of people who show up for gas become irate. Especially this guy who showed up on Thursday night right before my shift was up and was apparently in a hurry to get somewhere. Since the situation was so dire, finding out that he had to either pay at the pump or come inside to pay me first in order to get gas shattered his grasp on reality.
So buddy comes storming in raging about how he's gotten gas from us hundreds of times and he's a loyal customer and it's clearly because I'm a lowly (black) gas station clerk that he is being forced to walk twenty feet to come inside to pay for his gas with a check card instead of simply paying at the pump. Now, while I work, I'm always stupidly cheerful just in case someone from corporate shows up to make sure all the
slaves employees are maintaining a soulless smile while milling about like empty husks, but in the face of a customer who has just insulted how my mother raised me, I was forced to point out that if we based our business on loyalty, the station wouldn't be there anymore because our loyal customers keep driving off with our gas. By now, my replacement has shown up and I've explained the situation to her. Sympathetic, she hops onto a register while I leave the champion of the free people with her to punch out. As I come out and head out the door, buddy is stomping back to his car just as a cop pulls in to get his nightly cup of coffee just as he does every night. Without missing a beat, I pass by him and mutter something under my breath.
Officer Johnson takes a look at buddy and in less than ten seconds, has him pinned to ground.
It seems that the guy has been making a habit of driving off without paying for his gas and has been frequently changing cars to avoid getting caught until now.
Best night of work ever.
While I meant to just get him in a fair amount of trouble for harrassment, I can definitely settle for him getting arrested instead.
But still!
Edit: I think the best part is that it was a skinny pasty guy. So when he gets sent off to prison, they'll use him as currency.
