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Author Topic: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary  (Read 19200 times)

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Alex

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #40 on: June 18, 2009, 06:35:43 AM »

I can't even begin to comprehend what the hell is going through anyone's head in North Korea.

Do they...do they want to piss everyone (us in particular) off or what?  I don't get it.
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Mongrel

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #41 on: June 18, 2009, 06:54:32 AM »

TheySeeMeTrollin.jpg
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The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #42 on: June 18, 2009, 09:14:05 AM »

Wow. Once again, I'm at a loss for words. The North seems to have a knack for leaving me speechless.

I'd like to hear the Hermit Kingdom's logic for launching missiles and testing nukes that kinda work, and then getting all belligerent with a nation with missiles and nukes that definitely work.

It's like the strategic equivalent of waving around a loaded gun and trying to look like a bad-ass in front of Solid Snake.
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Koah

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #43 on: June 18, 2009, 10:56:53 AM »

Fortunately the article explicitly mentions China getting upset over the launch, which helps allay (personal) fears that Kim Jong-Il is trying to goad the U.S. into war with the DPRK specifically so China gets dragged into the conflict.  Not that this is actually the plan, of course; it's just hard to find possible explanations for this that aren't merely "piss off America."
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Mongrel

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #44 on: June 18, 2009, 11:24:53 AM »

Well, the explanation on paper is literally that this is basically the international equivilant of "LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!!!!1oneoneomg", with the goal of getting people to throw enough loot at you to make you shut up.

The problem is that pushing the boundaries invariably has you bumping up against things you really shouldn't be.

What I would be worried about is two things:

1) That this shit will never end. That they will hit the big red button marked "TROLL ENTIRE WORLD" every time they want something. Like a retarded child, they will continue to whine if whining works... or even if it doesn't.

2) They make a huge mistake. Either a planned 'threat' goes horribly awry, or they do something that simply cannot be ignored.

The problem is that both are likely and only reinforce one another. The most likely scenario is that each time they want something they will rachet up the trolling levels until "something" colossally stupid occurs that NK didn't intend. Like say... a faulty missile dumping a nuke on a place it was only supposed to buzz over. The damn thing won't even have to explode for it to set off a hell of a chain reaction.

Worst of all, the conventional logic that China and Russia will bring NK back down to earth is getting pretty ragged. It seems their influence is in inverse proportion to NK's insanity levels.

Play with fire radiation...
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Saturn

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #45 on: June 18, 2009, 11:51:42 AM »

When have they gotten something other than more sanctions from pulling this shit?
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SCD

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #46 on: June 18, 2009, 12:04:55 PM »

I'm interested to see what would happen if they do launch a missile test towards Hawaii. 

That seems like something that would be a massive game-changer. 
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Brentai

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #47 on: June 18, 2009, 12:08:11 PM »

LOL
:advice:
PEARL HARBOR
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SCD

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #48 on: June 18, 2009, 12:10:18 PM »

INCUR THE WRAITH OF THE YANKS
:advice:
STEAL THEIR MREs
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Bal

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #49 on: June 18, 2009, 01:43:04 PM »

The trick is to fight North Korea is such a way that doesn't atomize South Korea. They may be too crazy/far away from everyone else to be a threat, but they have enough conventional arms pointed south to make nukes a redundant farce.
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Mongrel

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #50 on: June 18, 2009, 01:47:14 PM »

It really depends on how operational all that shit is.

That said, I couldn't blame anyone for not wanting to make that particular gamble. 
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Brentai

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #51 on: June 18, 2009, 01:50:07 PM »

Is it "they" that have their weapons pointed at South Korea, or one incredibly overcompensating troll?

I mean yeah the country as a whole might have a bad reaction if we slipped 'em the old poison cigar but chances are the next guy will be a lot more responsive to the logic of "We will destroy every particle of every thing you have."
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SCD

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #52 on: June 18, 2009, 02:22:37 PM »

Despite the numbers of weapons the DPRK has in old conventional howitzers, I would imagine the assault on the DPRK would be an air forge Gen's wet dream. 

They have MoaB's, Bunker Busters, and a lot of other impressive munitions stockpiled that is reaching the end of its shelf life - And they're not allowed to use it for Afghanistan..

A premptive bombing campaign with aircraft that move too high or too fast for the DPRK to respond in kind would greatly reduce their city-levelling capacities.   
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Mongrel

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #53 on: June 18, 2009, 05:24:29 PM »

See, one of the biggest problem we have is that we are reaching the limit of what sanctions can be imposed.

NK is about as isolated as you can make a country without putting it in a bottle. Sanctions simply don't have the room to get much harder because the general entire population is perpetually a hairsbreadth away from the 'about to starve' threshold.

I guess it all depends on how silly NK wants to get!
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Thad

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #54 on: June 18, 2009, 05:32:42 PM »

And of course the bitch about sanctions is that they squeeze the citizenry a whole lot more than the leadership.  KJ's not going to miss any meals.
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Brentai

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #55 on: June 18, 2009, 06:26:11 PM »

Fucker won't even notice until somebody tells him they're out of honeyed water.
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The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #56 on: June 18, 2009, 06:29:55 PM »

Or Hennessy. I hear he's one of the biggest importers of the stuff.

HOLY SHIT EDIT: That's one of the things that always burns my ass about the North. While he's watching Hollywood movies, collecting Ferraris, and indulging in all kind of imports, the people he's fooling with this Juche bullshit are slaving on farms and eating boiled grass when they aren't forced to lick photos of the Dear Leader.
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Bal

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #57 on: June 18, 2009, 06:53:44 PM »

Just embargo DVDs. That'll light a fire under his ass.
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Shinra

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #58 on: June 19, 2009, 11:20:36 AM »

I smell the plot of a 1980s Airplane movie about running crates of movies to North Korea. At the end of the movie Tom Selleck's character has a change of heart (as inspired by the plucky female reporter) and dumps all the crates over a rice paddy before flying off into the sunset.
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Kazz

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Re: Pretend That North Korea Is Fucking Scary
« Reply #59 on: June 19, 2009, 12:32:17 PM »

Can't we just liberate NK already?  He's committed enough human rights violations by now, hasn't he?
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