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[Büge]

You can steam veggies in the microwave. Rinse them off, put them in a microwave safe bowl, add a little bit of water and cover. Zap for however long it takes. Usually I just go with two minutes.

As for cooking stuff, may I suggest chili? Cook a big pot in the evening and eat over the next few days. It always tastes better the next day, anyway.

Do you have a slow cooker, at least? You can make yourself a big thing of congee or baked beans or ratatouille overnight.

[A²]

I hate to break it to you, but beer-infused cheese dip is going to be pretty damned low on any list of potentially healthy foods.

I'm aware of this. Perhaps it's better phrased as "I'd like something more to eat than chef boyardee, fast food, and dry foods"

[Brentai]

Do you have access to a power outlet and some desk space?  You can probably swing a toaster oven, and it does most of what a regular oven does for a single person.

Microwaves aren't really ideal for food wizardry because, well, there's a reason actual food wizards would just as soon fire one from a catapult than use it.  The only things I've found that they're surprisingly good at is sausages/hotdogs and eggs (using a microwave egg poacher), both of which are probably only about a half step up from what you're eating now.

[Joxam]

One of the worst things about microwaves is how they cook.

Most people think they cook 'from the inside out' or something stupid like that.

In reality what they do is the microwaves bombarding the item cause all of the water molecules they hit in something to basically jiggle and this friction causes heat.

This is BAD for a number of reason. It tends to dry out most things if not properly covered. If things are sealed the water vapor can cause things to explode (even if the 'seal' is a particularly thick hotdog casing) and if stuff isn't sufficiently 'wet' it will not heat it properly. Also the water vapor that can make stuff explode is also the reason almost anything you get out of a microwave that IS properly covered (so it wont dry out) is really soggy. As an aside, you can actually microwave a completely dry piece of Styrofoam and it will do absolutely nothing to it!

Also because of the nature of how they heat, they actually are TERRIBLE about getting something done all the way through in one go. I think it was QI that taught me that the reason you are supposed to stop half way through almost everything you microwave and stir it is because the microwaves only heat about the first inch of what ever you're heating. This normally isn't an issue for reheating a plate but uneven cooking plays hell when you're actually trying to cook a meal.

Basically, what I'm saying is almost every TV dinner or heat up chicken or steak patties you can buy have direction for cooking in an oven or on a stove top, and those are the direction they prefer you use. Like brent said, if you have a counter a one cup coffee maker (for soups or hot drinks) and a toaster oven will probably help you more in the long run than trying to live off of soggy microwaveable meals.

[A²]

I can probably swing a microwave oven.

[François]

I only use my microwave for reheating stuff (and the occasional mug cake), but I do have a big-ass cookbook that claims to be fairly comprehensive regarding what the thing can do. I got it from my grandmother and literally opened it for the first time just now. I wouldn't mind translating some of the 700-odd recipes in there for your benefit, maybe to give you some ideas if nothing else, but I'd need a place to start regarding the sort of thing you want to do (meat/fish? beans/veggies only? soups? are you well-furnished with microwave-safe utensils or is it just basic plates and bowls? what's your herb/spice situation? do you have time to do elaborate stuff or does it need to be quick?), because I kinda don't want to plop my ass down and start at page 1. Or maybe I can just find something basic if you're straight starting at zero here.

You know, flipping through this thing right now, my interest is piqued. Maybe I'll try some of it myself and get back to you with the results. The book was first published in 1982 so there's a lot in there that's like, cheese-stuffed beef with sausages and more cheese on top ("swiss steak pizza"? christ how is anyone in switzerland still alive), but there's a great number of lighter options as well.

[R^2]

Joxam is mostly right, microwaves are terrible at cooking. This is mitigated a little bit by turning down the power level. Most people nuke everything they cook at full power; crank that down to 6 (on the usual scale of 1-10) and let it go for longer to get better results. Same way you wouldn't crank a gas range up to "high" to cook everything on a stovetop.

As for actual recipes, microwaves can do a passable baked potato. Wash it, poke it with a fork once or twice, wrap it in plastic wrap, and nuke it (uh, on high) for eight to ten minutes for a small spud, flipping halfway through.

Other than that,

[Mongrel]

As for actual recipes, microwaves can do a passable baked potato. Wash it, poke it with a fork once or twice, wrap it in plastic wrap, and nuke it (uh, on high) for eight to ten minutes for a small spud, flipping halfway through.

I can confirm that Microwaves are fairly awesome at cooking baked potatoes. It's the one thing they really do better.

But yeah a toaster oven will be way more useful overall.

[Büge]

That reminds me, I got a recipe for slow-cooked vegetarian haggis. I should make some this Friday...

[Classic]

vegetarian haggis

What's the casing replacement???

[Ocksi]

Artichoke stomach.

[Büge]

vegetarian haggis

What's the casing replacement???

The recipe calls for yuba, but I don't know where I'll find some of that.

[Brentai]

"Tastes like a Cinnabon topped with Cheez-Wiz."

[Beat Bandit]

Not quite ready to call it a food failure, but I ended up using way too much wine for the amount of butter and not properly heating the sauce for my fish francaise and got my family buzzed.

It still tasted fine.

[Mongrel]

Yes, that's ice cream made entirely with coconut milk instead of dairy. Holy shit this stuff is so rich it's

[François]

There was a rare sale on ground horse meat this week, so I picked up a couple pounds to try it out. Tonight I made a real basic open-face sandwich just to get an idea of the taste, with some green and yellow onion, sharp cheddar, and a hint of barbecue sauce, on homemade bread of course.

Dang but that is good stuff. The meat feels a bit leaner than beef on the tooth, but it's still a smooth bite, without the pebbly/chewy texture of lean ground beef. And it's got a kind of sweet aroma to it. It was flavorful enough that in retrospect I'm pretty sure I could have skipped the sauce to no great loss.

I think this might the closest I'll ever get to being a brony.

[RoboticDinosaur]

True Celestia Reincarnation: Digital Pony Saga.

Edit: I made some fries by myself today, they came out good. :>

[Mongrel]

Huh. I've had horsemeat before, at a pretty nice resto too. It always tastes like "So... basically, you're saying you couldn't get beef, eh?" to me.

[Büge]

I'm going to try making these.

[Mongrel]

Starr just said "That sounds like a winner in my book".

I'm just cool with anything that uses up that antediluvian yam.