My friends, I regret to inform you all that you've let the greatest game of
the year all time slip you by. This game is not about blood guts and gore like your Halo and Resident Evils. This game doesn't have great stonking tits, strippers or pig cops like your Duke Nukems! Nay my friends! THIS ISN'T YOUR WORLD OF WARCRAFT WITH MINDLESS GRINDING! Faced with these many gaming choices, surely, no one would blame you for not realizing your mistake in NOT choosing this wonderful game!
I present to you...
This action adventure platforming side-scroller has gone
MADMAX MAD in trying, and succeeding, at being a block puzzle game. You move across Mario style on the upper screen while combating you slow witted dullness on the lower screen. Wipe away that drool sir/madam, I'm not done yet! Completing puzzles on the lower screen gives you power ups, health bonus' and unlockables to your stalwart and swashbuckling hero,
HENRY HATSWORTH! [spoiler]You can get a giant robot. How fucking cool is that shit.[/spoiler]
Your hero is the #1 adventurer in The Pompous Adventurer's Club! [spoiler]No, they don't rape little boys. Sorry Lyrai.[/spoiler] As you make your through the game, you'll be faced with such cold villain's as...
LANCE BANSON! You could get lost in that dreamy, creamy chin of his. Or those rippling pectorals. But fear not, for he will not use his gigantic
penis abs to crush your worthless skull! Nay. Lance Banson need not stoop to such tomfoolery, for he is a lover! [spoiler]Gratz to you Friday, LD, Buge, Lyrai, Rico.[/spoiler]
He uses the power of singing to win his duels of manliness.
But not all the villains are such hotties. There are those who would oppose Henry within his own organization. Holding the #2 spot within the Pompous Adventure's club is...
Leopold Charles Anthony Weasleby the 3rd! This diminutive little cock sucker will stop at nothing to ensure Henry's failure and secure his own position as #1!
You've been warned my friends! GAME OF
THE YEAR ALL TIME!
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