Brontoforumus Archive

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:


This board has been fossilized.
You are reading an archive of Brontoforumus, a.k.a. The Worst Forums Ever, from 2008 to early 2014.  Registration and posting (for most members) has been disabled here to discourage spambots from taking over.  Old members can still log in to view boards, PMs, etc.

The new message board is at http://brontoforum.us.

Poll

Commands:

Slide off SharkBus.
- 1 (6.3%)
Enter SharkBus through windshield.
- 5 (31.3%)
Enter SharkBus through rear exit.
- 7 (43.8%)
Pogo over bridge.
- 3 (18.8%)

Total Members Voted: 16

Voting closed: May 16, 2009, 07:58:02 PM


Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard  (Read 4211 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

The Mayor

  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 60
    • View Profile
    • The Mayor
The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« on: May 13, 2009, 07:57:14 PM »



http://www.votemayor.com/?p=398

Elected Command: “Big game!”

“Big game!” shouts Sammy, tepidly crawling into the smokery doorway. “Sav-“

The Mayor darts onward before allowing the junior Mafioso to finish. Brashly bounding ahead, he speedily surveys the area.

There!

Sprawled on the alleyway’s befouled ground, the unregistered child from before! Focusing his gaze, the sizeable man draws his attention onto the passed out guttersnipe.

“Now SharkBus, let us engage in a spirited debate!” proclaims The Mayor, before scooping the street urchin from the dirtied surface. Still lacking the fundamentals of consciousness, the scruffy child is bolted upright by The Mayor’s robust grip.

HONK HONNK.

Rapidly closing in, the wheeled predator flashes its lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Doll eyes.

Carefully placing his sizeable footing upon the unkempt youth’s box spring prosthetic knees, The Mayor stands perfectly vertical. Pressing firmly down onto the sloven tot’s shoulder blades, the box springs reflexively coil inward. Exerting his exceptional spinal strength, The Mayor proceeds to mightily lift.

As the springs uncoil, both The Mayor and Tiny Titus ascend into the morning sky.

And then plummet back down.

Ascent.

Descent.

Ascent.

Descent.

Sammy watches on from the relative safety of the smokery doorway, mouth agape.

The Mayor is using Tiny Titus as a makeshift pogo stick.

Snapping away one of the three lit cheroots, The Mayor coyly flicks the burning stogie into the foul pool of leaked Punky Princess fuel. Undeterred, the SharkBus recklessly accelerates, now merely a single body length away.

With honed reflexes, The Mayor ascends once more, Punky Princess wildly exploding from behind. The pressurized force from the motoscooter’s blast vigorously rockets The Mayor and Pogo Titus high enough to clear the SharkBus’s jagged roof.

Deftly flipping, The Mayor clasps the erect SharkBus fin, readily hanging on. Smoke drenched wind whipping past, Tiny Titus snores loudly, arms spread wide.

Seizing his musky top hat from briskly blowing away, The Mayor squints forward.

A perpendicular cement bridge rapidly approaches, hanging high enough to allow the SharkBus clearance, excepting its massive oscillating dorsal fin and roof-riding occupants.

Commands:

   1. Slide off SharkBus.
   2. Enter SharkBus through windshield.
   3. Enter SharkBus through rear exit.
   4. Pogo over bridge.

Voting ends in 72 hours.
Logged

Doom

  • ~run liek a wind~
  • Tested
  • Karma: 46
  • Posts: 7430
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2009, 08:03:04 PM »

ENTER THROUGH WINDSHIELD

BLIND THE BEAST

CLEAVE IT'S INNARDS

THIS TOP HAT OF MINE SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
Logged

Arc

  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 3703
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2009, 08:05:54 PM »

:mahboi: All professional debates end with WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?! ORE WO DARE DA TO OMOTTE YAGARUUUUUU?! innards.
Logged

Lady Duke

  • Shiny Ranger
  • Tested
  • Karma: 3
  • Posts: 2339
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2009, 08:11:26 PM »

Rapidly closing in, the wheeled predator flashes its lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Doll eyes.

;-;


If a sharkbus can eat people....in a sharkbus-like manner, I can't imagine entering it in any way would be a good plan.
Logged

Doom

  • ~run liek a wind~
  • Tested
  • Karma: 46
  • Posts: 7430
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2009, 08:12:08 PM »

Teeth are only on a few lines on a single hole leading into it's body. The rest of those innards? Vulnerable.
Logged

Lady Duke

  • Shiny Ranger
  • Tested
  • Karma: 3
  • Posts: 2339
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2009, 08:15:12 PM »

Well, from my knowledge of anatomy, stomachs contain some pretty excellent acid.  Do you think the mayor wants to be digested?  I don't think so.
Logged

Doom

  • ~run liek a wind~
  • Tested
  • Karma: 46
  • Posts: 7430
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2009, 08:20:31 PM »

Do you really think it'll take the Mayor that long to eviscerate the beast?!
Logged

Arc

  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 3703
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2009, 08:31:55 PM »

:popcorn:

:imagination: Maybe a rainbow resides within! An acid rainbow!
Logged

Lady Duke

  • Shiny Ranger
  • Tested
  • Karma: 3
  • Posts: 2339
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2009, 08:38:01 PM »

I'll rainbow you right across the face.

Doom, I think acid would slow anyone down.  The mayor isn't impervious to acid.  I think.
Logged

Brentai

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnXYVlPgX_o
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65281
  • Posts: 17524
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2009, 10:24:58 PM »

3

It'll be really funny.
Logged

Niku

  • MEAT
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65350
  • Posts: 6705
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2009, 11:18:57 PM »

With honed reflexes, The Mayor ascends once more, Punky Princess wildly exploding from behind. The pressurized force from the motoscooter’s blast vigorously rockets The Mayor and Pogo Titus high enough to clear the SharkBus’s jagged roof.

 :humpf: :serious: :disapprove: :negative:
Logged
i'm a blog now, blogs are cool: a fantastic machine made of meat

Arc

  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 3703
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2009, 06:13:33 AM »

My finest addition to Western literature yet.

As with Tom Cruises and Star Ships, Mayors cannot be consumed by explosive blasts. Only pushed.
Logged

MadMAxJr

  • Tested
  • Karma: 5
  • Posts: 2339
    • View Profile
    • RPG Q&A
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2009, 08:19:15 AM »

Punch our way into the windshield of the sharkbus.

And secretly hope we get an epic sketch of it that can be made into a T-Shirt.
Logged
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell

Got questions about RPGs?

Niku

  • MEAT
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65350
  • Posts: 6705
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2009, 09:32:16 AM »

My finest addition to Western literature yet.

but seriously did you literally have to have the mayor jump the shark
Logged
i'm a blog now, blogs are cool: a fantastic machine made of meat

Zaratustra

  • what
  • Tested
  • Karma: 48
  • Posts: 3691
    • View Profile
    • Zaratustra Productions
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2009, 09:36:21 AM »

SCD

  • Tested
  • Karma: 18
  • Posts: 1856
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2009, 09:55:54 AM »

How could the advice dog be wrong?
Logged

Niku

  • MEAT
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65350
  • Posts: 6705
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2009, 11:31:24 PM »

i didn't mean it arc.

come back.

 :sadpanda:
Logged
i'm a blog now, blogs are cool: a fantastic machine made of meat

SCD

  • Tested
  • Karma: 18
  • Posts: 1856
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2009, 04:52:14 PM »

Is..  Is the Mayor dead?

 :sadpanda:
Logged

Detonator

  • You made me come back for THIS?
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 42
  • Posts: 3040
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2009, 05:02:28 PM »

I'm guessing that Arc is taking the lack of discussion over the disappearance of The Mayor as confirmation that people didn't care for it.
Logged
"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Arc

  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 3703
    • View Profile
Re: The Mayor - Chapter 25 - All Aboard
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2009, 05:16:26 PM »

The Mayor isn't updated for the same reason the latest podcast and topic icons aren't updated, which is to say all my free time outside of some relaxing Personal Glory Fortress 2 has been diverted to other efforts.

Sorry for the lack of an announcement. Was expecting to be back on the rail by now.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2