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Poll

PUPPY

1. INFINITE LIVES MOTHERFUCKER
- 3 (42.9%)
2. It's too dark to do anything. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- 2 (28.6%)
3. Dennis
- 2 (28.6%)

Total Members Voted: 7


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Author Topic: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)  (Read 15568 times)

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Transportation

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #100 on: June 19, 2009, 06:42:36 AM »

Man I can't believe we're talking about cosmic kittens and this isn't posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYgzaAtUfQM
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #101 on: June 19, 2009, 11:48:11 AM »

GASP, the song of space?!
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #102 on: July 08, 2009, 05:51:01 AM »

Where hath the Friday gone?  I am sad.  :;_;:
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Ted Belmont

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #103 on: July 08, 2009, 06:48:46 AM »

I saw this topic in unread topics and I was like  :8D:

Then I saw it was just Cthulhu-chan and I was like  ::(:
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #104 on: September 19, 2009, 06:13:22 AM »

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU

"KITTENS! INSPIRED BY --"

"O. M. F. G WRESTLING," you say, and tackle the little girl, who is now suddenly a pile a kittens.

All around you, strange and alien environments are broken and smashed as you happily pounce and attack and counterattack and roll and tackle and play and crash into things.

"We are in HAWAII," one of the kittens says, swiping at you with a paw.

Suddenly, you are on a tropical beach. The Palm Trees sway and dance in the wind.

One of them leans over. "Hey, Puppy."

You look up and pay the price as the kittens take advantage of the moment to bury you in themselves. Fighting free and barking happily, you scatter the kittens across the sand with a mighty spin-tail-attack and gaze upwards at the swaying plant.

"You have green hair that looks like green hair!" you proclaim.

"Yes, I suppose I do," replies the Palm tree, shifting uncomfortably. "But that is beside the point, Puppy. You and I have much to discuss."

You are about to ask the tree what a "sup-hose" is, when you are suddenly attacked from behind!

"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" you snarl, whipping around and sending the kitten flying into another, who crashes into another, until all of them lay sprawled out on the sand like knocked over bowling pins.

The tree clears its throat. "Excuse me, but might I suggest a change of venue? I don't think it will be possible for us to have a clear conversation with such... distractions," it says, waving its fronds at the kittens, who even as it speaks are picking themselves up for yet another attempt to subdue you.

"What's a ven-you? Can I eat it? Is it a deer? Can deer fly? Can I ride the deer?"

"No, I'm sorry to inform you, Deer can't fly," the tree sighs. It goes on, but you are suddenly swarmed by small furry things and must defend yourself.

Two kittens approach from the front, the rest circling to your flanks and rear.

One of them speaks. "You're not my mom!"

Another talks from behind you. "I have to go potty!"

They all lunge forward, and you do a flying backflip up and away, watching them all clunk heads in the center.

"Haha! Silly kitties! Do you not know who I am? You must not know who I am."

"Senator Barack Obama," says a kitten, picking himself up.

"What? No. I'm --"

Suddenly, a kitten wearing shades and baggy clothing walks out of the high grass and onto the beach. He peers over at the other kittens and you with disdain.

"Former gangbanger," says one the kittens, looking worriedly at the newcomer.

*************************

1. A new friend! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrge!"

2.

WARNING: ENEMY APPROACHING. ATTACKS: CAP IN YOUR ASS, BITCHES DON'T KNOW, LOVE LOVE DANCING
3. wtf where did my giant ball of stars go also hey is that a shark i bet he's pretty thirsty i tried to drink water at the beach once yuck

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Romosome

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #105 on: September 19, 2009, 08:40:06 PM »

omfg is it christmas

can I ride the christmas
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #106 on: September 20, 2009, 01:20:29 AM »

 :advice: plus fish pee there nobody told me until after eww
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #107 on: September 21, 2009, 01:57:50 PM »

2.

WARNING: ENEMY APPROACHING. ATTACKS: CAP IN YOUR ASS, BITCHES DON'T KNOW, LOVE LOVE DANCING [/b]

You turn and square off against the newcomer. The kittens all fall into line behind you.

"All wings report in," you say.

"Red ten standing by," says the kitten who is also a magician.

"Red seven standing by," comes a voice over an intercom.

"Red three, standing by," says the kitten who had to go potty.

"Red six, standing by," says a wine bottle kitten.

"Red nine, standing by," says another voice over intercom.

"Red two, standing by," says Wedge.

"Red eleven, standing by," yet another voice over speaker.

"Red five, standing by," says a particularly whiny kitten.

"Red XIII, standing by," says Red XIII.

"Lock S foils in attack positions," you say.

Your group moves in as the former gangbanger activates his turbo lasers.

"Stay on target," you say.

Suddenly, just as epic laser space battle (played by a bunch of kittens, a puppy, Red XIII, and Wedge) is about to be joined...

You trip over your ear and tumble into a mound of sand.

"Ooof! I haf sanf in ma mouf!" you say, sputtering.

You hastily pick yourself up and shake yourself off. Sand sprays everywhere.

"CPE, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong!?"

"Nofing," you reply. "Sanf gof in it."

Former Gangbanger pounces on you. You both tumble over and over down the beach, until finally he pins you at the edge of the water. The frothy waves lick at your hind paws.

"I have you now," Former Gangbanger kitten says.

But lo! His idiotic baggy pants have interfered with his mobility, allowing you to break free and viciously counterattack his flank!

The kitten howls in misery as you playfully bite into his tiny legs. Yowling, he flees down the beach.

"Comf backf!" you say after him. "Gang life is no life for a kitty!"

The other kittens have also gone. You are alone on the beach.

"Well, now that that little escapade is over," says the palm tree.

You dutifully trot over. You don't really want to talk to the strange tree because it is hard to understand the words it says, but your mommy always said not to be rude to people who are trying to speak to you.

"Greetings once again, puppy," says the tree, sounding slightly amused.

"Hi!" you say cheerfully. "Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY YOU HAVE A BALL OMFG THROW THE BALL."

"What?" says the palm tree. "I don't know what --"

"BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL WHY AREN'T YOU THROWING THE BALL ARE YOU AFRAID I WON'T CHASE IT AND BRING IT BACK WELL I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT I AM REALLY GOOD AT PICKING THINGS UP IN MY MOUTH AND OK MAYBE I WON'T BRING IT BACK RIGHT AWAY I MEAN I LIKE BEING CHASED WITH IT SOMETIMES AND I MIGHT HIDE IT BUT COME ON THROW THE BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL!" you say, barking and jumping up and down excitedly.

"I -- what are you -- oh. I think you are referring to my coconuts. Yes. I am afraid to inform you that these are not balls, nor can I throw them for you."

Your face falls as you listen to the tree. It's not exactly clear to you, but it sounded like it said he can't throw his balls.

"You... you can't throw your ball?" you whimper.

"I'm afraid not," the tree replies gravely.

Your ears droop. You lay your head down in between your paws on the sand and sniffle.

The palm tree shifts uncomfortably. "Uh, I apologize. I would throw my ball, if I was able."

"No, no it's OK," you say sadly. "I'm sure one day you'll be able to throw your balls."

The tree sighs. "We seem to have gotten rather off track. If you'll allow me one moment to -- hey! Where are you going!?"

You scamper down the beach and whine excitedly at a strange creature you've never seen before scuttling along the beach. It turns to face you warily, and raises one pincher.

"Hi! I'm a puppy! What are you, strange red thing? Are you good at picking things up? It sure looks like it!"

The creature only continues to stare you down.

*******************************

1. Your new friend is shy! Maybe if you touch your nose to his.

2. HERE WE SEE A GIANT ENEMY CRAB

3. Perhaps your new friend wants to play tag! Or hide and go seek! Oh man one time I played hide and go seek and I hid in a bucket and it took them forever to find you and when they finally did you were asleep hey wasn't this place just a dream or something? maybe you could wake up now?


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Kayma

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #108 on: September 21, 2009, 02:07:43 PM »

weak point! massive damage!
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #109 on: September 21, 2009, 02:29:55 PM »

Throw the crab's balls.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #110 on: September 21, 2009, 07:03:03 PM »

crabs don't have noses that's silly

Also I forgot about the being asleep part, let's stop that.
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Miss Cat Ears

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #111 on: September 21, 2009, 07:16:28 PM »

Crab battle...
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SCD

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #112 on: September 21, 2009, 07:34:51 PM »

FIVE HUNDRED NINETY NINE EWE ESS DOLLARS
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Doom

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #113 on: September 21, 2009, 07:38:22 PM »

Crabs are impeccable FPS players because they strafe perfectly.
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #114 on: September 22, 2009, 11:20:56 AM »

2. HERE WE SEE A GIANT ENEMY CRAB

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3e6Wy19jbo

Suddenly, the GIANT ENEMY CRAB lunges for you, snapping with its claw.

You do a quick backflip, throwing several daggers downward at it in midair. It easily deflects them with its GIANT ENEMY PINCHER.

"Foolish puppy! You will regret coming here!" says the crab.

"My regret...

... is ...

ONLY THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

You flip forward in the air, flinging several more daggers and pulling your katana out.

The crab flash steps behind you in mid-air. The camera does a close up of you trying to look behind you with your eyes but since you are a puppy it just makes you look crazy.

"We are all creatures on the planet seeking harmony!" says the crab, before slamming you into the ground.

You pick yourself up and roll out of the way of the crab's acid spray. You quickly begin running up the side of a bamboo tree, having been transported somehow to ancient Japan. As you reach the top, you leap from the side and scream a battle cry.

"I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING MY EYES CANNOT SEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

The two of you clash in mid-air, your blade straining against the crab's claw. Behind his weapon, the crab smirks.

"Did you really think your pathetic skills could harm one such as me? You seek death, like all creatures on the planet. Each and every creature, from the birds to the worms, seeks harmony with the world they live in. Like a sunset, each one finds nothing but despair."

Gritting your teeth, you reply, "In the spirit world, there is no greed. Only those that bring their evil with them shall find true freedom from earth's petty conflicts!"

The crab laughs. "You fool! Taste now the despair of the lives you have passed by!"

With that, the crab suddenly surges forward, knocking you off your invisible stand in the air and back down to the ground.

"Now you are mine!" the crab screams, turning his pincher into a drill and spiraling downward at you.

Thinking quickly, you move out of the way. The crab crashed into the ground, creating a huge crater and a massive explosion of blue energy.

It takes like five minutes for the dust to settle, and when it does, both of you are standing about twenty meters apart, breathing heavily.

"I don't have time for this," you say. "If you don't mind, I'll end this now."

"But why end this glorious conflict!?" says the crab, laughing hysterically. "Only in conflict can one express their true desires! Like the worm and the eagle, locked in endless poetry, all life finds harmony through death and despair!"

You ready your sword.

**************************

1. Attack his weak point for massive damage.

2. NOW IS THE TIME. COMPLETE YOUR DESTINY. > use bomb on crab

3. BAN KAI!!!
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Doom

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #115 on: September 22, 2009, 11:26:10 AM »

BAN

KAI!!
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Transportation

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #116 on: September 22, 2009, 12:54:08 PM »

doom's argument is both compelling and without flaw

now what did I just vote for
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #117 on: September 22, 2009, 01:32:56 PM »

There is only one choice, here.
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Kuumba

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #118 on: September 22, 2009, 01:43:20 PM »

hay guys wats up?
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #119 on: September 22, 2009, 03:29:27 PM »

3. BAN KAI!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4GFdlQnv6Y&feature=channel_page

A swirling vortex of yellow energy surrounds you.

"This... this cannot be!" says the crab, his eyes wide.

The energy swirls once more, slows, and then is swept away, revealing you with slightly bigger ears in profile for the camera.

The crab breaks into laughter. "You call that small thing a Bankai?! I see you are nothing more than a pup pretending at greatness."

You slowly turn to face the crab once more. "Bankai: Getsuga Hintomi Akuma Tenshou Akujiza Totoe Shin Zabimaru Goukei Zangetsu Kitai Shiegomi damnit Shinji get in the robot Zaraki Yamado Chipp Zanuff!*"

And with that, you fall over on your back with all four paws raised in the air with a big lopsided grin on your face.

The crab explodes.

You rise and sheath your sword and begin to walk away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HbIjdi6veo&feature=channel_page

"Blast you!" says the crab from behind you. Your eyes widen, no one could have survived that attack. Unless...

"Yes, it's true," the crab says as the dust around him clears, revealing his carapace slightly smudged.

"I, too... have a Bankai. Did you forget?"

The crab laughs. "Very well. I was hoping I wouldn't have to use this... but it can't be helped. I will turn you to dust and you will vanish before my eyes! Regret now ever coming here!

BAN

KAI!!!
"

There is a huge explosion of light and sound. When it's finally over, the crab now has two giant pincers.

"Bankai: The Hell of Twin Giant Pinchers," says the crab.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Yd-MEU5tSA&feature=channel_page

"Uh, that's not very appropriate background music for this juncture," says the crab.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXJH787_li0&feature=channel_page

"Ah, there we go," says the crab, and charges.

The crab opens by firing both acid sprays at you from his claws. You dodge and counter slice, severing a limb.

But almost immediately, the missing leg grows back in a flurry of white goop!

"High speed regeneration!" you gasp.

The crab laughs and blasts you again. You're not quite quick enough to fully dodge this time. Your shoulder is burned.

You bounce off a tree as it ceases to exist, burned to ash by the crab's acid. He's really giving you salvo after salvo. It's all you can do to continue to dodge.

Suddenly, you are distracted by a squirrel. You land on the ground and run after it excitedly.

"Come back! Your tail is almost as big as you!" you say, tripping over a rock.

"Hmmph! I will not be ignored by the likes of YOU!" says the crab, giving chase.

The squirrel chatters angrily. "Don't involve me in these silly games, puppy! I have no wish to have my life drawn out for hundreds upon hundreds of episodes!"

You cock your head at the squirrel as he angrily shakes his fist at you. "Hi! My friend is named GIANT ENEMY CRAB have you met him before he is pretty good at playing ancient japan!"

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" the crab bellows from behind you. "THIS BACKGROUND MUSIC IS GETTING MORE AND MORE INAPPROPRIATE BY THE MOMENT!"

"He's not so bad, once you dodge the acid," you say sagely. "I made him explode with my belly, and he's kinda upset about it."

"Well, I want nothing to do with it, or you," says the squirrel. "Also can we change the music to something a little less weird?"

"Okay," you say happily. "I'll use my theme song!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BdvaCCUsYo&feature=player_profilepage

"La la la la la, la la la la la!" you sing along, trotting down the path with your ears perked up.

The squirrel jumps down next to you. "I don't suppose you have any nuts, do you?"

"Nope! My parents had them removed so I wouldn't pee on everything," you explain.

The squirrel looks at you oddly, then jumps away.

You continue down the path in ancient japan, looking for something new and shiny to play with. The reeds on either side of you open into a meadow, and there's a brook with a little bridge! And also there is a sign but you can't read so you don't know that it says TROLL UNDER BRIDGE.

As you approach the bridge, the troll leaps out and grabs you!

"Hi!" you say. "My other friend has regeneration too!"

The troll roars and tosses you into the stream. You tumble over backwards underwater and end up on the other side of the brook.

"I've got water up my nose!" you say, coughing. "And there was a fish and he wasn't the same fish I think he was just a regular fish but I would like to go back and check!"

The troll leaps across the water and raises a big claw.

Suddenly, you find yourself back on the beach, laying under the palm tree.

"Puppy, don't let your imagination get carried away," says the tree. "You almost escaped my notice, and I have something very important to tell you."

You look up at the tree and yawn. Nothing is making sense anymore.

"You are very tired and I can understand that," says the tree. "But first, allow me to explain..."

You sleepily close your eyes.

"Puppy," says the tree. "The secret to --"

WHOOOM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VZUw2bEXA0&feature=channel_page

The tree bursts into flames and explodes. You are sent rolling backwards down the beach.

The crab lands in the crater where the tree once stood.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO IGNORE ME," he says, and before you can move, fires two more salvos of acid to your left and right, trapping you.

With a mighty leap the crab is on you. One pincher pins you to the ground as he raises the other above his head for the killing blow.

"Hahahahaha!" he screams triumphantly. His claw descends. There's nothing you can do. The end has come for puppies and big, floppy ears. You close your eyes.

...

...

...

CHING!

Surprised, you open your eyes again to behold the claw has been blocked mere inches from your nose by another sword. Slowly, your eyes travel down the length until they rest on the wielder.

The crab turns to face the newcomer, his eyes wide in shock.

"The puppy is mine, and mine alone to finish," says the Rabbit.

TO BE CONTINUED





* Swirling Anxious Jet Fighter Pierces the sky with hope in his heart falling toward the moon which is crested by endless love and despair twisting downward toward destruction
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