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Poll

PUPPY

1. INFINITE LIVES MOTHERFUCKER
- 3 (42.9%)
2. It's too dark to do anything. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- 2 (28.6%)
3. Dennis
- 2 (28.6%)

Total Members Voted: 7


Pages: 1 ... 5 6 7 8 9 [10]

Author Topic: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)  (Read 15564 times)

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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #180 on: September 12, 2011, 05:20:54 AM »

But... but... but Adult Toph!

Can't you imagine how large her feet are by now!?
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #181 on: September 12, 2011, 05:21:24 AM »

Uh... I mean, wait... I meant to say something less creepy.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #182 on: September 12, 2011, 05:45:51 AM »

No you didn't.  NO YOU DIDN'T.
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McDohl

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #183 on: September 12, 2011, 11:25:47 AM »

CPE FOR PRESIDENT
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #184 on: September 12, 2011, 05:41:12 PM »

3. A VOTE FOR PUPPY IS A VOTE FOR CHANGE AND ALSO FOR PUPPY

"OK I wonder what I have to do to run for Mayor," you say.

Suddenly, Haggar falls from the sky.

"Hrup!" he hrups. "Piledrivers!"

And with that, Haggar hrups away.

"That's it!" you exclaim.

You quickly run to the nearest forest animal, a squirrel, grab it, and piledrive it into the ground.

"VOTE FOR PUPPY!" you bark after you bounce away.

The Squirrel, dazed, picks itself up and staggers around a bit.

A "+1 votes" appears in your upper left HUD.

"Sweet! Now I only have to piledrive 51% of the forest to win for sure!"

You happily search for your next victim/voter.

MEANWHILE

"Have you heard? Puppy is running for Mayor of the forest," says a Bluejay to another Bluejay.

"No way!" Bluejay B says.

"Way," Bluejay A says. "And he's already piledrived the entire east side!"

"What's his stance on gays?" Bluejay B asks.

"He uses the traditional wrestling stance for them," Bluejay A replies.

"Well, he's got my vote," Bluejay B says, and then both fly away.

Rabbit, meanwhile, overhearing this below, is cursing vigorously.

"That blasted puppy! Running for Mayor of the forest! FORESTS DON'T HAVE MAYORS THIS IS ABSURD."

Just then, the current Mayor of the Forest, Mean Mister Eagle, swoops down and tries to catch Rabbit. Rabbit zaps him casually with his blaster, turning Mean Mister Eagle into a featherless chicken. He then walks over and takes Eagle's tophat and Monocle.

"I'm Mayor of this Forest now," says Rabbit. "But I'll let you go back to being Mayor if you find Puppy and bring him to me."

Mean Mister Eagle nods. He loved being Mayor more than anything. Except being mean.

"Now go!" Rabbit says.

Picking himself up and magically regrowing his feathers, Mean Mister Eagle takes off in search of Puppy.

MEANWHILE

SLAM!

"I PROMISE TO REDUCE GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSION BY 14%!" you bark.

The Badger you just slammed into the ground looks confused, but nonetheless casts his vote your way.

"Great!" you say. "That's 49%! I just need a few more votes!"

Just then Mean Mister Eagle spots you from the air and goes into a dive.

"OH NO!" you bark. "MEAN MISTER EA -- hey where did his tophat and monocle go?"

*********************************

1. SHORYUKEN!

2. Crouching Fierce

3. AIR THROW PILEDRIVER
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Ted Belmont

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #185 on: September 13, 2011, 05:28:27 AM »

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #186 on: September 13, 2011, 05:39:11 AM »

I was just gonna play it safe, but then I remembered what The Mayor would do.
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #187 on: September 14, 2011, 05:11:15 PM »

i will vote for the one that i used to use on SNES
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McDohl

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #188 on: September 16, 2011, 03:29:56 AM »

Can I do a write in ballot?

Scott pilgrim VS. Matthew Patel
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #189 on: October 21, 2011, 06:53:47 AM »

3. AIR THROW PILEDRIVER

Mean Mister Eagle's Screaming Super Velocity Burning Rage Spinning Skydiver Attack was the most feared attack in the forest, and it had been the most feared attack since 1067, when Mean Mister Eagle, Sr, invented it during the great War of the Magi to defeat an entire legion of Space Pirates during the battle of Fluffy Kittens.

The attack involved over thirteen hundred precise movements all coordinated with an unquenchable thirst for blood and an unshakable determination strengthened by an unwavering resolve for glory. Only two living beings have ever used it and lived, the rest all exploding on impact. Superfly Falcon used it once as a desperation attack in 1234, against his opponent Snakebear With a Rocket Launcher, but did not survive the ensuing explosion. His epitaph read "Totally worth it." The Screaming Super Velocity Burning Rage Spinning Skydiver Attack must be used carefully, because the very act of using it tears the very fabric of subspace, preventing Warp Drive from ever being used there again. In addition, the tax it extolls on the soul of the user is said to be the second most taxing of all taxes, only trailing behind actually becoming an IRS agent.

In short, the Screaming Super Velocity Burning Rage Spinning Skydiver Attack is basically the most bad ass motherfucking move you could possibly imagine. The very sky darkens as particles of hyper plasma are expelled into the air, babies shiver and die in their cribs, women scream and begin weeping for no discernible reason, and extremely tough men shed a single tear.

Mean Mister Eagle, Sr, did not pass this technique on to his son. Mean Mister Eagle, Jr, the eagle now rending space and time at over 500 mph on a direct collision course toward you, stole it from his father by using a superior technique, The Soul Stealing Screaming Super Velocity Burning Rage Spinning Skydiver Attack XL2000, which is what he is actually using now.

The very air is aflame. Trees burst into nothingness as their constituent parts are obliterated completely from this universe. The heat is so intense that you are not entirely sure that even you could hold it in your mouth without maybe burning your tongue.

You leap.

You grab.

Mean Mister Eagle is piledrived.

"Man, fuck that shit," Eagle says. "The priority in this fucking story is broken as shit. Some basic fucking airthrow mashed out by some scrubby puppy beats MY super!? This is some gay shit. I'm quitting CPE and going to play BlazBlue."

And with that, Eagle disconnected and went to whine on the CPE forums.

(Most of the threads there are just Rabbit complaining about basically every topic imaginable, and Weasel trolling him. Former Gangbanger Kitten also has a Thug-Life thread for young kittens in need of scaring straight.)

You're still at 49% votes. Hmm. Have to find some more animals to piledrive.

But just then --

"Time's up, Puppy," says Rabbit.

"No way! I still have until sundown!" you bark.

"Nope. I changed the law," Rabbit says, smiling.

"You can't just change the law!"

"Of course I can. I'm the Mayor." Rabbit says smugly, motioning to his monocle and tophat.

"This is bullshit, you say, looking around.

"No, this is politics," Rabbit retorts.

"Pssst!" says a voice from behind you. You whirl and see Rainbow flopping around on the pine needles. "Challenge him to a debate!"

"But I don't want to give him any money back!" you say.

"What?" says Rainbow.

"What?" you say.

"What do you mean you don't want to --"

"What?"

"What does money have to do with--"

"What?"

"Oh, REbate. You thought I said REbate. No, puppy. DEbate. A debate. Like, an argument."

"What?"

"Puppy."

"What?"

"Stop saying what."

"What?"

"Stop SAYING WHAT!"

"Why?"

"Because -- listen. Just challenge Rabbit to a debate. He's arrogant and smug and he can't turn down a chance to --"

"No no, I promised I'd reduce greenhouse emissions by 14%," you say.

"... what?"

"No shhhhhh! You're not allowed to say that!"

"No YOU'RE not allowed -- listen. Not smog, SMUG! He can't refuse a chance to --"

"Wait wait hold on. I think we have a bad connection."

"What?"

"SHHH!"

"Puppy, what on earth --"

"I can't hear you, Rainbow! You're breaking up!"

"PUPPY I AM FLOPPING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU WE ARE NOT ON THE PHONE."

"Hello? Hello?"

"Yeh?"

"Helo?"

"HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM"

"Wait I lost track of who was talking."

"Is this my dialog or yours?"

"Mine, I think."

"Oh. Right. Ok. So this is your dialog."

"No, this is yours."

"Wait, what?"

"SHHH!"

"THIS IS A STUPID JOKE," Rabbit said, shooting the both of you.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A REBATE!" you bark.

Rainbow slaps his head with a fin.

**************************

You wake up in a prison cell. Rainbow is nowhere to be found. Items here:

Old Rat Bone
Locked Cell Door
Rusty Bars
Rat Hole that is just a bit too small for you to fit through but maybe if you backed up?

Exits are North, East, and Dennis.

****************************

1. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.

2. Get rat bone, pick lock, out, east, north, sneak by sleeping guard, steal keys from guard, up, west, get coin, south, open door, get candle, get lantern, get rope, get sword, out, south, south, kill Giant Cancerous Rat with sword, north, give coin to Troll, north, use rope to scale cliff, light candle, east, enter pub, order a pint, get drunk, the cheetohs are right next to you, pass out, fly a plane into the sun like a boss, reincarnate as Squirrel Ninja, use ninjitsu on Solid Snake, south, down, LIGHT LANTERN BITCH, get gem, use gem to bodyswap back to puppy, north, east, north, west, sing a merry song to elf, north, chase rabbit, steal top hat, steal monocle, become Mayor of Forest.

3. Dennis
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #190 on: October 21, 2011, 07:20:25 AM »

In this game, the Konami Code gives you 30 extra lives.

All at once.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #191 on: October 22, 2011, 01:20:55 PM »

I don't...  I don't think I can resist.  What could it possibly MEAN?
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #192 on: October 23, 2011, 12:47:33 AM »

Mr. Krabs: Where is the treasure? 10,000 paces east!
Patrick: Oh, east? I thought you said "weast."
Mr. Krabs: Weast?! What kind of compass are ya reading lad?
Patrick: This one sir.
Mr. Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again.

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