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Poll

PUPPY

1. INFINITE LIVES MOTHERFUCKER
- 3 (42.9%)
2. It's too dark to do anything. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- 2 (28.6%)
3. Dennis
- 2 (28.6%)

Total Members Voted: 7


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Author Topic: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)  (Read 15796 times)

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Detonator

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2009, 04:15:09 PM »

This story disturbs me more than The End(s) ever could because of the inevitable feeling of a descent into madness and geiger-esque imagery, like Eversion.  It's the scariest story ever because of that suspense, even if nothing truly gruesome ever occurs.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Romosome

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2009, 09:10:47 PM »

jesus Det lighten up

the puppy is so cute
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #42 on: June 08, 2009, 09:37:32 PM »

Friday could smear used clown greasepaint on a thread and I'd probably read it. And vote in it. And I'd probably cry at the end in a manly way.
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2009, 09:42:15 PM »

NO GUILD DON'T BE THAT KIND OF FAN

ONLY LIKE MY GOOD STUFF SO THAT I CAN GROW AND LEARN AS A WRITER/ARTIST

but, uh, thanks for the compliment. :3
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #44 on: June 08, 2009, 09:51:56 PM »

Hey woah what are you doing outside the sweat shop? We're not not paying you to sit around and not entertain us! Muses be damned: Sell out and write some crappy filler!
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #45 on: June 09, 2009, 12:24:57 AM »

2. OMFG THAT SNOWMAN IS MADE OF SNOW CHARGGGGGGGGEEEE

Barreling up the hill once again, you bark excitedly, forgetting you can speak in the heat of the moment.

The boy, annoyed, bends down once more, but this time, instead of simply rolling the snowball at you down the hill, he picks up a handful of snow, and throws it at you like a baseball.

However, you leap to the side, having learned from prior engagements.

The Boy raises an eyebrow, and stands waiting.

Happily wagging your tail, you charge toward him, stumbling a bit.

You are nearly halfway when the snow suddenly gives out beneath you, leading to an ice shoot that spits you out right back at the bottom of the hill, next to Rainbow, all spread eagled on the ice.

"Puppy, you cannot scale the hill in this way," Rainbow says, sighing.

You scramble to your feet, slipping on the ice, frantically pedaling and then collapsing again pathetically.

"Listen to my words, oh pure and brave canine," says the trout, "so that you may gain the wisdom you need to escape this place."

"That bunny was REALLY big!" you say.

"Yes," replies Rainbow. "Yes, he was. But listen. In order to escape this place, you must overcome three trials. The trial of Courage, the trial of Mindfulness, and the trial of Integrity."

You look at the trout somberly. "What does 'indegratty' mean?"

"You must discover these things for yourself, Puppy, for I am but a guide," Rainbow says.

"Oh my god, when the light bounces off your scales it looks pretty! Like a color beam!"

"Yes, this is true," says Rainbow. "You have a keen mind. And your courage and integrity are not in question. I'm sure you will succeed in escaping this place and fulfill your destiny."

"OK but I can't get to the top of that hill, because I keep falling down," you say, frustrated. "And that boy has mittens!"

"Indeed, the trials are not designed to be easily overcome, puppy. But I am confident. You are pure of heart," Rainbow says, and flicks his tail and vanishes back into the water.

"Wait! Come back! You're shiny!" you say to the hole in the ice.

Shortly thereafter, another angry snowflake drifts by your face. You stick out your tongue and catch it, gently.

"Blasted puppy!" it says, eyebrows creased. "By what right do you prevent me from joining my fallen brothers and sisters in the great expanse below?!"

"You tase lie waher," you say.

Suddenly, a snowball crashes into you from behind. The snowflake is dislodged and falls happily to the snow. You turn, yipping, to see the boy standing atop the hill, dusting off his hands of snow and snickering. The snowman is now complete, and stares over the surrounding land like a king surveying his domain.

"OH MY GOD, THAT SNOWMAN HAS A PIPE IN HIS MOUTH I AM GOOD AT HOLDING THINGS IN MY MOUTH."

The boy bends to pick up another snowball, and you begin to climb the hill once more.

**********************

1. STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW FROM A BOW, YOU MUST GO

2. Dodge left! He'll never expect it!

3. Dodge right! He'll never expect it since he's probably expecting it! oh hey is that a bird over there
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #46 on: June 09, 2009, 12:31:55 AM »

1 for COURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
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yyler

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #47 on: June 09, 2009, 12:50:27 AM »

I love birds
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #48 on: June 09, 2009, 06:29:30 AM »

birds birds teehee
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #49 on: June 09, 2009, 02:56:51 PM »

3. Dodge right! He'll never expect it since he's probably expecting it! oh hey is that a bird over there

Jumping sideways to avoid the boy's next snowball, you see some sort of bird over to your right.

"Oh my god I will brb," you say to the boy. Sneering at you, the boy plucks the corn cob pipe from the snowman's mouth and throws it at you.

Tumbling into the snow in front of you at the base of the hill, you pick up the pipe in your mouth, where you are good at holding things.

"Thanks!" you say back up the hill to the boy. "I am good at holding things in my mouth!"

The boy makes a rude gesture, and abruptly kicks down the snowman before rebuilding it again.

Bounding away from the snowy hill, you realize you can smell not one but two birds, but when you get there, one of the birds turns out to be a fox.

"Greetings, Puppy!" says the Fox. "We are in desperate need of your help!"

Beside him, a chicken clucks dismally and a sack of grain is silent and depressed.

You sit down on your hindquarters and nod sagely. "How can I be of assistance?"

The Fox gestures to the river behind them. "We three must cross the river, but as you can see, there is only one boat and only one of us can cross at a time."

You peer over the Fox's shoulder at the tiny rowboat which is tied to a tiny dock, bobbing in the current. "I see."

"And the problem is, if left alone, I will eat the chicken," the Fox laments. "Struggle as I might, I cannot resist my nature."

"And if *cluck* left alone with *cluck* the grain," the chicken says, cluck cluck clucking, "I will *cluck* eat the poor dear *cluck* despite my *cluck* best efforts to *cluck* abstain *cluck*."

"Oh great and wise Puppy, can you help us?" asks the Fox.

***********************************

1. omg that fox is red, like the boy's mittens

2. o. m. f. g. CAN CHICKENS FLY CAN I RIDE THE CHICKEN

3. "Well, it is quite elementary, my dear Fox," you say, puffing on your pipe. "For you see, it is only the Fox and the Grain that can be safely left alone together, therefore: I will simply row the Chicken across, then return. Upon my return, should conditions not have altered, I will acquire the Fox (Or indeed, the Grain, but we will not explore alternate solutions at this point as they are superfluous) and having acquired him, will proceed to row across once again. At this point, I will deposit the Fox, and under my watchful eye, take the Chicken back across to the original side. At this point, I will gather the Grain, and row it across to join the Fox once more. From there; it is a simple task to row back alone, invite the Chicken aboard, and travel one last time across the river, to reunite all three of you, safely across, and uneaten. Yes, quite simple."
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Doom

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #50 on: June 09, 2009, 03:00:28 PM »

I HAF TWELF MATCHSTEEK

3
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2009, 03:03:58 PM »

I HAF TWELF MATCHSTEEK

:fuckyou:

2

I have always wanted to try riding a chicken.
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Detonator

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2009, 03:12:31 PM »

If Link can glide with a chicken, I'm sure we can soar the clouds.

In before chickens vs. cuccos.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Kayma

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #53 on: June 09, 2009, 04:45:59 PM »

Pipes make us smart. Definitely smart.
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Romosome

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #54 on: June 09, 2009, 05:45:57 PM »

forget about the puzzle THE CHICKEN CAN FLY

we can just fly it across the river, that solves everyone's problems
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #55 on: June 09, 2009, 06:06:19 PM »

CHICKEN RIDE!
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Saturn

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #56 on: June 09, 2009, 06:28:50 PM »

RIDE CHICKEN LIKE IT WAS A MECHANICAL BULL
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #57 on: June 09, 2009, 06:33:16 PM »

... okay, yeah, chicken.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #58 on: June 09, 2009, 06:37:01 PM »

 :hurr: METAL GEAR?!
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Ted Belmont

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #59 on: June 09, 2009, 07:44:54 PM »

CHICKENNNNNNNNNN
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