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Author Topic: Writing Contest 2  (Read 6599 times)

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Doom

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Writing Contest 2
« on: July 26, 2009, 08:35:21 PM »



Writing Contest Dos Time!


Begins the 8th!

Ends the 15th 20th!


Choose a taboo subject. Or a defense/attack against a subject such that it would have to be taboo.

The Holocaust Didn't Happen is a lot different than The Holocaust Did Happen, you dig?

Make an impassioned plea. You are not only being judged upon your ability to troll, but to convince.

Bonus points if you can produce factual evidence and for severity of taboo and uniqueness. The Holocaust Didn't Happen is a good topic, but is it a fresh one?

Super Bonus Points if you begin actual arguments.
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Defenestration

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2009, 01:47:54 AM »

I think it's ironic that in today's society, where many proclaim that minds are more open than ever, are still persecuting people that don't deserve it. The first thing that springs to my mind are people that oppose homosexuality and/or proudly proclaim the glory of their own race. If you are truely an open minded individual, don't you think it's unfair to offer prejudice to an entire sect of people based upon two single beliefs they harbor?

Nationalism is the act of believing in the superiority of your own nation. However, this isn't seen as offensive in the world community... everyone is "victim" to it, and understands completely. It's only natural to love your home and hearth, isn't it? Since that's the case why is it so horrible to be proud of your gender and race? Especially in the sense that it's extremely hypocritical since several events exist celebrating the history and culture of African Americans and the LGBT community [ http://www.blackhistorycelebration.com/ and http://www.sfpride.org/ , http://www.nycpride.org/ , and many more]?

Not to repeat myself, but why would those that claim to be open minded oppose a peaceful (emphasis on peaceful, anyone that would inflict harm upon another is no longer worthy of respect of any kind) gathering or demonstration of the Ku Klux Klan? The Klan has had many reorganizations over time. They no longer support violence, simply the superiority of the "white" race... though many are quick to forget or ignore it. For example, picture a moment an immolated wooden cross planted into the crest of a hill, the flames dancing accross the body and arms. For most, the first thing that would jump to their mind would be Klan endorsed and executed lynchings and an open threat with shadowy, ominous figures with pitchforks lurking behind it.

And they would be prejudiced, of course. When the Klan carries out a cross lighting (cross burning is considered an offensive term, as it carries a different and inapplicable connotation behind it), it's a purely private ritual. They claim the fire represents their faith in Christ, and proceed to circle and watch, pray, and mediate in a solomn silence around it. [http://www.slate.com/id/2075584/, last paragraph only please.] Surely, a curious interpretation of their religious texts, but I'm sure all of us can agree that a measure of religious freedom is fair, no, *necessary* as part of measuring our basic human rights and freedoms.
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Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem

Guild

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2009, 07:19:58 AM »

Finalfight sucks.

A lot.

I was in there today trying to talk about rosen's wedding and all they were talking about was numbers and computer statistics.

For a fucking hour and a half. Made this post. Linked to it. They kept going. They're still going. It might be a 10 hour conversation. I'm not going to wait for a lull. It's clear that these are not the same group from ten years ago.

Remember when we made cock jokes and talked about how much cock jokes weren't funny? Yeah, those days are dead. Now it's douche central on the corner of I'm not getting any street and unaware of my own acne problem lane. I hope you lonely fatties enjoy not being interesting to anyone but yourselves.

There was a time when reading the finalfight log actually mattered because we punished inanity. Literally punished. But now it's a safe-haven for rambling inconsequentialities. I propose putting someone angry in charge to beat the chan out of its retardedness rut, and I submit Doom or Niku.

The other option is we make a new chan and hire fresh talent to murder there.


it was awesome and i am badly hung over thanks for asking nerds i hope that new radion ati barnswallow 2.115 whatsis doesn't rise up and murder you in your sleep
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2009, 07:37:50 AM »

I totally agree. You're getting more and more reasonable with every post Guild, and I love it.
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Frocto

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2009, 08:51:08 AM »

Yeah, you are totally right. Just ban Yeoz and get rid of all the current ops, that is like 50% of the problem there.
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Lunartick

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2009, 09:01:00 AM »

Wales: it sucks le balls.

Oh yeah Wales is so great, yeah, it's so ethnic but not too ethnic that I would feel like, white and shit and oh yeah its so nice. -- NO. Wales is some shitty nation. In fact its not even a nation its a satellite-country which translates to bitch in non-UN vocabulary.

Ok so first the Welsh, so called, society. Yahweh, let me tell you. When the Glorious and Illustrious nation of Scotland wanted some Parliament, they did ask for it and they did receive it after a series of vociferous quarrels, all marks of a healthy, warmish-blooded society.
The Welsh Parliament was not begotten in such a way. Nay, for it spewed forth from the froths of hell when the English offerred it to them.
"Parliament anyone?"
And the Welsh were all ambivalent and nonchalant about having Parliament even though they really wanted it for many years but were too poncy to ask.
"Oh, yeah, whatever, if its not a problem. Eh, yeah ok then."
Prats, they so wanted parliament for the beginning but didn't have the balls to want it enough.

Some pastimes of the Welsh people: Singing alrightly, singing badly, and of course bestiality.
Taken from Eddy Paranoia's Historia Celtica Cetacea Zoophilia Infernalis:
Quote
In Wales, there was a death penalty or something equally extreme for sheep rustling. However, the penalty for sheep shagging was only a prison sentence or something. So, if a guy was caught stealing a sheep, he'd quickly start shagging it to avoid getting hanged.
From there to consensual and enjoyed (by one party) sheep philandering is but a little step.

Do you know who came from Wales? HENRY THE FUCKING SEVENTH. Yes, I'm talking about that little cockroach that waited out the war of the roses only to sneakily win the last battle against the exhausted but rightful aggressors, and plonk himself onto the throne.
His descendants were the kind of twatty piss-feces-faces who committed genocide on the various religious groups of England respectively. I have no idea why each monarch picked a particular religious group to pick on but I am assuming they used a kind of "How many sheep can I seduce in a day, odd = catholics, even = protestants, Hooray." system. Yeah that's accurate. The Tudor palaces did not have a supply of firewood but a supply of Cathloics/Protestants who (apparently) were just begging to have their head snicked off.

Wales is also responsible for producing the musical talents of the great she-whore of Babylon Pwllheli herself, Duffy. Another we should take into consideration is the mostly overlooked (and rightly so) psychedelic rock band aptly named --surprise surprise-- Super Furry Animals. I mean these guys probably go out on stage in gay sheepy fursuits. And be careful of that shit, sheepy fursuits are getting really popular nowadays, even getting into mainstreet clothes stores. I, for one, never ever buy wool clothing.

So we've established that each and every Welsh person should be charged and convicted of Acute animal cruelty and rape, Ethnic/Religious Cleansing, and Grievous Bodily Harm, although the last charge is probably exclusively filed against Duffy, with the bodily harm being the global ear-bleeds of 2008.


And that is why I think global warming is a good thing.
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Frocto

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2009, 09:49:46 AM »

Soracross is the best member on these boards. He promotes discussion about the important and worthwhile Turquoise Grotto, the hottest place for the latest internet goss and his Gundam Fighting LPs are seered into my mind from the hundreds of times I have watched them.

On the other hand, the Admin Thad is quite useless, only posting occasionally and often with too many words for many forum members to grasp easily. On the contrary, Sora's posts are usually just a couple of emoticons in the shape of a dick, and therefore very easy to digest.

I move that we ban Thad and make Sora an Admin in his place. Also, we should rename the Worst Forums Ever to the Torquoisest Grottos Ever, in faith of the sweeping changes he will no doubt bring to these dowdy old forums.

Thankyou.
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Aintaer

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2009, 08:12:04 AM »

Doom how do you expect any of these people to come up with a feasible argument for anything under the premise of trolling?  The very act of encouraging destroys the atmosphere required for trolling.  There has to be an assumption that they're serious about something which offends somebody else.

Next time coming up with contests, use a little fucking brains, eh?
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yyler

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2009, 09:06:29 AM »

Well, I have until tomorrow, right? I'll come up with something. Can I just enter my first few posts?
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Doom

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2009, 09:10:37 AM »

Yeah sure.

Aintaer: Achievement Unlocked.

This contest ends tomorrow at 9 AM Eastern. So you guys have a little less than 20 hours from now.
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yyler

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2009, 09:13:44 AM »

I'm gonna actually figure out something while I am shoe shopping today. Don't count those posts, on second thought.
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yeoz

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2009, 01:15:25 PM »

Yeah, you are totally right. Just ban Yeoz and get rid of all the current ops, that is like 50% of the problem there.
lol
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2009, 01:46:20 PM »

Music, my friends, is a special thing. The simplest of melodies is a primal link directly to the emotional core of our beings. A musician evokes feelings in his audience so subtly and precisely that he might as well be playing a heart directly, rather than through an instrument. It is through music that the humble works of man can most easily achieve a hint of the transcendent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OAXCy3YS54

And so I ask you why, my friends, why do so many creators of music, artists with human minds for their canvases, see fit to squander the talent and opportunity that makes them like gods? I can imagine the thought process that these fools follow: "Well, I've got a nice little song here! Catchy and upbeat, with a good rhythm to it. But you know what would make it perfect? If some bitch started warbling about her sex life right in the middle of it."

Yes, my friends, I am talking about the worst thing that can possibly happen to a song: lyrics. It's a tragedy that keeps repeating itself. Music speaks to the emotions, so some imbecile songwriter decides that they can synergistically enhance the emotional appeal of their song by slapping together some vaguely-rhyming description of a situation where a person might feel the way the song is already supposed to make them feel, 'cause they figure it's got to be about something. And then it doesn't work. Why not? Well, I can think of a few reasons.

First of all is that the subject matter fails to engage. You don't care about the singer or what they're singing about - or, if you did, you'd still care even if they weren't singing at all. Emotional involvement normally requires a personal connection - short-circuiting that connection is what music is so good at in the first place - so if you don't have that connection, you're just distanced from it. And how personally connected can you be to an utterly generic relationship problem, or a vague sentiment? Especially when it's going to be gone in four minutes? If it can happen to anyone, it doesn't mean anything. It's like a horoscope, and as we all know, horoscopes are bullshit.

Second is that the poetry sucks. Okay, I'll be fair: there are good poets out there. Most of them don't write music. Sturgeon's Law doesn't even begin to cover the way music is always getting stuck to hackneyed, schmaltzy crimes against eloquence. Read it without filling in the melody: "Oh I need your love babe/Guess you know it's true/Hope you need my love babe/Just like I need you" Sickening! And that was The Beatles! They had talent to spare, and even they had trouble coming up with lyrics that stood up on their own. Imagine how much worse it would be for mere mortals. Wait, you don't have to imagine: their dreck fills the radio stations, the shelves and warehouses of music retailers are stuffed to overflowing with their unimaginative sentimentality. You have only to extend your hand and it will be filled with the product of a lyricist's onanism.

I know what you're thinking: if it bothers me that much that lyrics are so corny, why can't I just tune them out? I got a news flash for you, Irving Berlin: If the best way to enjoy something is by ignoring part of it, you'd be better off without that part. Jesus shit on rye, you'd think that wouldn't be such a hard concept to grasp. Lyrics are fine when they're good, which is never, or when you can't understand them, so that their incontrovertible shittiness is not dominating your attention. Since nobody wants to hear what you have to say, save us the trouble and stop saying it. As far as I can tell, musicians put words to their art solely because they believe that it's somehow incomplete without them. Imagine if other things worked like that: if chefs thought their steak wasn't complete until it had been caked in play-doh; if sex were customarily preceded by tap-dancing. We don't put up with that; why do we put up with awkward, hackneyed rhymes in our music?
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...but is it art?

Aintaer

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2009, 01:49:31 PM »

why do we put up with awkward, hackneyed rhymes in our music?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2009, 02:00:07 PM »

Funny awkward and hackneyed rhymes are still awkward and hackneyed.
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...but is it art?

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2009, 03:25:56 PM »

Doom how do you expect any of these people to come up with a feasible argument for anything under the premise of trolling?  The very act of encouraging destroys the atmosphere required for trolling.  There has to be an assumption that they're serious about something which offends somebody else.

Next time coming up with contests, use a little fucking brains, eh?
why do we put up with awkward, hackneyed rhymes in our music?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI

I honestly can't tell if you're trying to participate in the trolling contest or not.
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2009, 03:26:37 PM »

On the one hand, if you can't tell, assume he is. On the other hand, if he is, then I shouldn't say so, 'cause he's certainly doing better than me.
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...but is it art?

Doom

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2009, 03:27:28 PM »

Bitching about a contest is actually so common that one can earn achievements for it, so it's hardly trolling and certainly not an uncommon standpoint or one that will generate conflict.
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Doom

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2009, 07:15:58 AM »

Ended 2 hours and 18 minutes ago. Judges, Judge!
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Brentai

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Re: Fiction Contest 2
« Reply #19 on: August 15, 2009, 08:16:23 AM »

Defenestration: 6
Yawn.

Guild: 8
I think you're speaking earnestly, and it's certainly not an unpopular sentiment.  But it is good flamebait.

Lunartick: 3
Man I'm even half-Welsh and I still can't bring myself to give two shits about this.

Topus: 4
Opposite Day is not the same as trolling.

Aintaer: 10
I don't care what anybody else says, that was brilliant.

Bongo Bill: 8
I agree too completely to see it as trolling but I guess that means it's good?  Okay enjoy your 8.
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