THE OFFICIAL JUDGMENTS OF THE GRAND DUCHY OF KAZZIADefenestration: 3/10Too mild. Yeah, it's a little ridiculous to defend cross-burning, but not ridiculous
enough. Grammatical errors make it difficult to follow (the opening line, in particular, is broken). No vitriol; hard to tell that you're trolling, but not in a good way. You sound too open-minded, like you're willing to have a discussion about this.
Guild: 1/10I totally agreed with your post. 100%. Therefore, it was an awful entry into this contest.
Lunartick: 2/10Wales? Who gives a fuck about Wales? Anyway, you're clearly trying to be humorous in your post (and it worked, by the way), which is not the purpose of the contest. Nobody's going to get up-in-arms about somebody calling out Wales. Sorry.
Frocto: 1/10Again, penalized because I agree with you. Also, you are clearly oozing sarcasm. One moment while I change the WFE to the TGE.
Aintaer: 5/10Best trolling in the thread, which isn't saying much. Could have stood to be longer.
Bongo Bill: 9/10Excellent work. Not quite trolling, but you sound quite convinced of your points (and indeed you might be). The use of strawmen at the end was particularly grand:
Imagine if other things worked like that: if chefs thought their steak wasn't complete until it had been caked in play-doh; if sex were customarily preceded by tap-dancing.
Several of your arguments, and your calling-out of the Beatles over one dumb line from one of their early pop songs, really makes one want to respond: I can think of good Beatles lyrics, I can think of bands who use the singer's voice as an instrument, I can think of songs which would be awful without lyrics. I can also think of plenty of songs where the singer is terrible and the lyrics are godawful. You walk away with the contest with this entry.
(Bonus points for prompting an actual response to your topic in the thread.)