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Author Topic: Writing Contest 1  (Read 3570 times)

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A≤

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #20 on: August 13, 2009, 01:54:33 PM »

Guild: Didn't have to stop at all. 2/10
Rygaron: Faltered twice. 4/10
Topus: Very nice, but didn't have to stop at all. 5/10
Shinra: :ohgod: :ohgod: :ohgod: 10/10
Bear Machine: ::(: 1/10
Doom:  :ohgod: :ohgod: :ohgod: 10/10
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Guild

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #21 on: August 13, 2009, 02:03:03 PM »

that just means you liked my story
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Brentai

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #22 on: August 13, 2009, 02:27:50 PM »

Guild: 8
Minor bendage of the rules with not-actually-boffing-another-forum-member, but otherwise okay and sort of actually original and funny.

Rygaron: 6
Fuck, I thought I could get through this one with my virginity intact.  Short, anticlimactic, and has some weird errors.

Shinra: 10
When it comes to raping other forum members at least, Shinra rises to the challenge and pushes far beyond the call of duty.

Frocto: 3
That is not terribly original nor is it a short story about fucking a WFE member.

Bear Machine: 2
Points for mentioning Kitan's plump balls, but otherwise, what?

Doom: 7
Technically fine but for some reason I get the vague feeling that you missed the exact point of your own contest.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #23 on: August 13, 2009, 05:36:02 PM »

Rygaron: Faltered twice. 4/10
Rygaron: 6
Fuck, I thought I could get through this one with my virginity intact.  Short, anticlimactic, and has some weird errors.
I might have been drunk-esque?

Have fun.

It was a cold night. The poor townsfolk of Doomstonia toiled on as their menacing leader watched them from his tower's window. He laughs menacingly for a moment before a sudden pinch forces his attention to behind him. Rygaron stands there with a giant grin and ding-a-ling lodged in Doom's pooper. Leaning in he taps the end of the cruel lord's nose, "boop!".

THE END!
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Frocto

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #24 on: August 13, 2009, 09:46:57 PM »

I forget who it was that said that the point of this competition was to humiliate the participants, on which grounds I hope my entry speaks for itself.

Congratulations, Shinra. You earned it.
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Aintaer

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #25 on: August 14, 2009, 07:50:08 AM »

I uh, I've read much worse.

Guild: 7
Guild you fucked your own ashes, that's totally not fucking other members, or other members' members.  Still it was entertaining

Rygaron: 5
What the hell Ryg, there wasn't any raping.  I was expecting a lurid tale of grossly homo-erotic dominance.  Instead I find Brentai just jizzed against a wall?  Hell that's what he does every afternoon.  Points for being at least a little gay.

Shinra: 9
Classy! Narrative! Pacing! The only complaint I have about this is that it lacks the "Wrongness" that I look for in my board fanfics.  Otherwise, an A+ job.

Frocto: ???
Was this a real entry, because it had no story whatsoever.  If you force me to give a score, I'd give a 2 at best.

Bear Machine: 3
This is actually a quirky story involving lots of scene and very little gay.  Too little.

Doom: 8
And finally we have Doom trying too hard to win his own contest.  I'm not saying I would not stick my dick in Frocto's mellifluous voice-hole as well, I'm just saying that looking at the structure, it is basically composed of two thematic portions. The first would be the exposť, with a good narrative flow, setting up the story.  The second is the climax of the story, but feels rushed compared to the exposť.  It could have been expanded a bit, slow down the action to let the task set in.  I would have appreciated more description of how than simply a count of how many.
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Shinra

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2009, 12:44:11 AM »

Shoving my shit covered dick in Doom's mouth and fucking his throat while he vomited around it lacked wrongness? Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't want to read the gay porn you frequent, sir. I think I will have to abstain.
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Aintaer

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2009, 07:27:00 AM »

Shush you amateur.  Compare what you wrote to what Doom wrote and you'll see he had enough wrongness.  Just poor execution.
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Kazz

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #28 on: August 16, 2009, 04:54:02 AM »

THE OFFICIAL JUDGMENTS OF THE GRAND DUCHY OF KAZZIA

Guild: 8/10

I was giggling the entire time I read this, from when you chose your own clone to be the one to fuck to when you did the deed post-disintegration to the popping dickpimples.  Points taken off for complete lack of line breaks and for using *CENSORED* as though anybody here would be offended by the phrase "enormous pulsating fuckmuscle."

Rygaron: 6/10

Most of it reads too sincerely, with yourself acting as the Shinji in this Evangelion of wangs.  I laughed at the player one joke and the "BOOOOOOO-YAH."  Also at the concept of Brentai wandering around the shower, grabbing everybody's junk.  Penalized for no line breaks and because most of the start is really, really, really gay.  Like, actually gay; the first half of your story tried to buy me a drink and then called me a silly goose.

Shinra: 8/10

The paragraph of how hairy and smelly you are made me gag a little.  Hitchhikers don't go to strip bars because strip bars require money and hitchhikers don't have any.  Beer before liquor is a terrible, terrible fucking idea, especially when you apparently worked all day in the sun and sweat your nuts off; this story should have ended much eariler, with you rolling on the floor in a pile of your own vomit, suffering and sobbing.  Also, even if you did somehow manage to remain conscious, you shouldn't have been able to get it up, ESPECIALLY not around Doom, jesus christ have you seen that guy.  I'm glad you both end up throwing up but I wish that you had talked about forcing him to eat some or something.  All in all, a quality exercise, although seriously not something to be read by somebody getting over a stomach flu.  (Also, a little legitimate advice: Show, don't tell.)

Frocto: 5/10

A good idea and a valid homage to a man's futile attempt to jump across those stupid disappearing blocks.  Would have preferred to hear you attempt to sing it.  I enjoy the bit where you go FUCK THIS STUPID SHIT.  Not much to say.  Sorta unremarkable.

Bear Machine: 2/10

I don't have the patience for this crap.

Doom: 4/10

Artful.  Most of the beginning is somewhat rambling.  The whole thing sort of fails to make sense... what the hell is your plan?  I thought you loved him, why'd you bust into his house and kill and rape and decapitate and continue raping him for?  You're clearly an insane person.  I don't think I'm going to share my gummi bears with you.  In fact... yep.  I'm not.
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Doom

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2009, 09:11:45 AM »


Guild really fucked himself over this time, huh?
2, 8, 7, 8
6.25


 :nyoro~n:
Rygaron met his hero. What a guy. What a score.
4, 6, 5, 6
5.25



Frocto, we all appreciate the message but maybe you should've actually fucked Romo into LPing Heat Man's stage.
5, 3, 2, 5
3.75



Shinra was my first. And now, he is first.
10, 10, 9, 8
9.25


 ::(:
Bear Machine, you.. posted.
1, 2, 3, 2
2



Doom shows that a little madness and a complete lack of shame pay off in the end.
10, 7, 8, 4
7.25
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Doom

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Re: Fiction Contest 1
« Reply #30 on: August 16, 2009, 09:17:07 AM »



Shinra wins the Gold for The Independent Republic of Tom Selleck's Mustache!



Doom wins the Silver for The Pirates of Doombeard Cove!



Guild wins the Bronze for what!
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