I had originally intended this to be a simple post but before I was halfway through I realized I was writing it like a review, including omitting first-person pronouns. Threw some in there to destroy any professionalism or pretense to it, am I missing anything?
This is a review only in the sense that it has the trappings and styling of the most tepid writing of the type. It is not better for it, and I have no idea why it "came out" this way.
Forbidden Kingdom:
Journey to the West Fanfic
When Sun Wu'kung, the Monkey King, gets trapped in stone by a corrupt immortal general of the Jade Army who abuses his power in the absence of the Jade Emperor it's up to self-insertion action flick fanatic white-boy to save the day! His realistic martial ineptitude and cowardice serves in part to make you hate Siaff and appreciate his miraculous montage. Not only because it makes him less annoying, but because you get to enjoy watching the real stars of the movie, Jackie Chan, who is again a Drunk-Fu master, and Jet Li, who plays both the Monkey King and a badass Buddhist monk, use abusing him as a means to piss each other off.
The movie's opening credits play over a series of famous kung-fu movie posters, of which I only recognized a handful, and very much spells out the influences that made Forbidden Kingdom. The movie also places its audience at 11-12 and male, evidenced most strongly by the female lead, "Sparrow" (Yifei Liu). Just old enough to be interested in girls, but not-at-all interested in seeing kissing on-screen. Sorry Siaff, save that for a sequel. The movie ends leaving the sequel option open, and only the briefest mention of Siaff's unnamed and missing father. Siaff is actually named "Jason Tripitikas," whose last name is conceivably a reference to the Buddhist monk who actually goes on The Journey to the West, albeit tenuous link. Two bits says we can look forward to Siaff or Siaff's father making some kind of a journey to India in the sequel, if there is one.
I found the self-insertion portion made the movie a little uncomfortable for me, as the kind of fanboysihness that Siaff represents is something I've worked hard (with the power of Peer Pressure) to bury deep down. So not only do I feel guilty for Siaff being indulged in at all, I also feel guilty for his essentially persistent abuse. I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy his [spoiler]somewhat anti-climactic battle with his bullies once he returns to the Bronx with his power-level over 9000[/spoiler].
These are minor and personal concerns, and even with them I did receive a great guilty pleasure watching basically every fight. Though this could easily reflect on how seldom I go to the theater and the sort of company I was with. Wholly enjoyable action movie if you're willing to accept that it's an unusually well-funded self-insertion fan-fiction, and even if you're unwilling still pretty fun.
Classic loves hyphens.
EDIT:
Made to make clear the original lack of intent that I explain later to Guild.
