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Author Topic: 1500m Freestyle Bitching  (Read 5888 times)

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Brentai

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #20 on: August 10, 2009, 09:51:53 PM »

We're using release numbers!

Wait, that means...

Everyone has a gold!

(Get it?)
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yyler

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2009, 09:53:05 PM »

no
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Bongo Bill

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2009, 11:02:41 PM »

1.7 is an ugly number. Any judge who'd award such a score must be an ugly person.
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...but is it art?

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2009, 11:52:31 PM »

I will talk about World of Warcraft until you raise my score.
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Brentai

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #24 on: August 11, 2009, 12:13:36 AM »

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Mongrel

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #25 on: August 11, 2009, 03:10:42 AM »

:wub: @ this thread.
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Classic

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #26 on: August 11, 2009, 03:50:22 AM »

... ... ....
 :nyoro~n:
 :OoO:
What if... what if we had an :@: ?
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Defenestration

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #27 on: August 11, 2009, 05:00:47 AM »

You know what I'm going to bitch about?

PALADINS. Motherfucking paladins. I don't give a shit about ret either, though you can bet I'm really goddamn happy about that nerf they got this patch. I'm talking about Prot Paladins.

As a warrior, I get a neat buff called Vigilance that reduces the damage the person I give it to by 3%, but I can't give it to myself. Paladins have Blessing of Sanctuary, which they can put on AS MANY PEOPLE AS THEY WANT, including themselves.

I have two AOE abilities which are limited by fairly long cooldowns; Shockwave and Thunderclap. The former is a frontal only, so I have to worry about positioning large numbers of mobs. I have cleave as well, but it is costly and not a very high threat ability. Hammer of the Righteous hits 3 goddamn targets and does stupid high threat, and Consecrate can be kept refreshed 24/7.

I get a button that increases my block chance and the amount I block to 100% for 10 seconds every 45 seconds. The paladin equivalent is only 30% and lasts ten seconds, WITH AN EIGHT SECOND COOLDOWN. They can have it up ALL THE TIME. Paladins already block for more and usually block more often to begin with, and with this and Redoubt combined we're talking like 60% block JUST FROM BEING A PALADIN! And it deals ~300 damage each time they frickin' block, on TOP of Retribution Aura. We're talking like 1000 TPS *just* for having something hit you while you pick your goddamn nose, before you count the extra amount of damage they get from those since they scale with Spell Power... which they get for free if they have a lot of health. Isn't that fucking grand?

Now, if it wasn't enough that paladins can literally faceroll tank as long as they spam consecrate, sacred shield, and hammer of the righteous, they don't have to do ANY of the micro I have to do if there's more than 2 targets. Nearly all of my relevant abilities are single target, forcing me to play a game of tabbing like a madman while keeping a mental tally of how much threat each thing has and if I'm granting enough threat to the current assist and if I have enough premptive threat to the next target to die, moving to herd the mobs to be entirely in my frontal cone for Shockwave which by default constantly posistion themselves to stand shoulder to shoulder in a circle with each other and I have one finger that is solely dedicated to mashing Heroic Strike because if I don't I lose tons of threat and there is no autocast for some RETARDED reason... and my paladin buddy? He's sipping a drink, tapping his cast sequence macro while his character stands there and behaves like a champ.

You know, I'm proud that I'm still more than an effective tank despite the handicaps due entirely to personal skill, and thanks Blizzard for making Devastate worthwhile and not just something to press when everything else is on cooldown, but jesus CHRIST I could use a few more bones here.

OH! And if that's not enough, no matter HOW well I perform, I'll still take more damage. Aside from the average paladin having 80% block, Blessing of Sanctuary + Improved Righteous Fury = 9% passive reduction to ALL incoming damage. ALL damage. And an additional -6% to spell damage from Guarded by the Light. And they can cast a shield that will absorb 1.5Kish damage every now and then. And they are healed for 11% more from Improved Devo Aura and Divinity.

You know what talents and abilities I get that do that? Shield Wall, 60% reduction on a 5 minute cooldown for 12 seconds. Wow, thanks. Paladins have a 50% shield wall that stacks with all the passive buffs above and is on a five minute cooldown as well. Or if they want to show off they can pop their REAL bubble which renders them IMMUNE TO ALL DAMAGE OF ANY KIND and taunt to maintain aggro for the duration of the taunt and then click off the immunity bubble after it's gone.

Oh, and if the immunity thing wasn't enough, there's a talent called Ardent Defender. Every three minutes, if a paladin takes damage that would kill him, IT HEALS HIM INSTEAD. AND IT'S PASSIVE! THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING! IT HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY! I SURE WISH I HAD A MOTHERFUCKING BUTTON THAT WOULD LET ME NOT DIE INSTEAD OF DIE.

Fuck paladin tanks, man. Just fuck them.
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Dogstar

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #28 on: August 11, 2009, 08:50:34 AM »

Give me a 10 or I start posting furry porn into this thread, other threads, hell, all over the forum. You won't be able to click a link anywhere without a yiff. You will give me what I want or I will bring this place to its knees in a sea of hyper horse herm semen.
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Brentai

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #29 on: August 11, 2009, 09:28:00 AM »

Yeah, you know, threats will pretty much just get you stronger threats in return.
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jsnlxndrlv

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #30 on: August 11, 2009, 09:37:50 AM »

Really, Brent just wants us to dance for his amusement in progressively cleverer ways. Not worth it.
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Brentai

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #31 on: August 11, 2009, 09:40:02 AM »

Newbie gets a point!

Does Newbie want another point?  Hmmmm?
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Koah

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #32 on: August 11, 2009, 10:22:02 AM »

Really, Brent Doom just wants us to dance for his amusement in progressively cleverer ways.

I just summed up the Worstlympics! :8D:
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Guild

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #33 on: August 11, 2009, 01:05:37 PM »

none of these points seem to follow any particular scheme

therefore, fuck obama's healthcare plan the guy's an idiot

i'm quoting two old ladies i heard talking at the library yesterday
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Guild

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #34 on: August 11, 2009, 04:37:19 PM »

can i have a point
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Detonator

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #35 on: August 11, 2009, 04:45:20 PM »

Give me a 10 or I start posting furry porn into this thread, other threads, hell, all over the forum. You won't be able to click a link anywhere without a yiff. You will give me what I want or I will bring this place to its knees in a sea of hyper horse herm semen.

As a self-proclaimed honorary judge, I'll call your bluff.  Let's see what you got.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Guild

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #36 on: August 11, 2009, 04:46:35 PM »

can i have a point
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Kazz

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #37 on: August 11, 2009, 05:25:55 PM »

Give me a 10 or I start posting furry porn into this thread, other threads, hell, all over the forum. You won't be able to click a link anywhere without a yiff. You will give me what I want or I will bring this place to its knees in a sea of hyper horse herm semen.

As a self-proclaimed honorary judge, I'll call your bluff.  Let's see what you got.

i'll ban both of you
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Kazz

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2009, 05:26:07 PM »

in fact this entire event is shit
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Guild

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Re: 1500m Freestyle Bitching
« Reply #39 on: August 11, 2009, 05:36:23 PM »

can i have a point now

it's the active game with a scoring system
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