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Author Topic: NaNoWriMo '09  (Read 1773 times)

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Shinra

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NaNoWriMo '09
« on: October 08, 2009, 10:07:53 AM »

Despite the lassitude and apathy we all share, I'm going to participate this year. Anyone else? I've been wanting to write a novel for a long time and have both the free time and the willpower to get it done for a change.

I know this thing wasn't approached with any seriousness last year, but if anyone is going for the long haul, we could use this thread to share ideas and brainstorm before the actual month begins - I'm throwing a lot of ideas around right now for what I want to write about.

Myself, I'm not a big fan of dramatic fiction, and whatever I want to write I want it to be theoretically publishable, so the next great piece of american literature and fanfiction aren't options for me. I'm mostly interested in pulp fiction and genre books, so I'm split between fantasy, science fiction, and horror, with my inspirations mostly in the hands of pulp serial authors, such as Vance and Lovecraft. I've put together a list of possible novel themes, ranging from android gladiators to a distopian -punk story filled with horrors from beyond the stars.
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Miss Cat Ears

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2009, 11:18:02 AM »

tl;dr
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Frocto

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2009, 11:39:53 AM »

mce fuck off
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Frocto

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2009, 11:43:43 AM »

spikesjerico: your a policeman riding a goat of some kind
spikesjerico: and you rode in to tell her to fuck off
Frocto: it's an ox
spikesjerico: you are awesome
spikesjerico: then you ride back out into the sunset
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Miss Cat Ears

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2009, 11:52:45 AM »

ok
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Doom

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2009, 12:08:25 PM »

I'll probably do this and in fact I should do this and you can make fun of me if I do not do it.

Fantasy pulp all the way.
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Bongo Bill

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2009, 01:20:40 PM »

I'll probably try again, even though if the last two years are any indication I'll peter out almost exactly when I reach ten thousand. Mayhap a change in format will motivate me.
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...but is it art?

Niku

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2009, 01:23:33 PM »

I'm probably going to do this this year.
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yyler

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2009, 02:26:55 PM »

I think I am being forced to by some people on another forum. I don't really know what to do. I kind of hate NaNoWriMo because it tends to produce nothing but trash, which means I can't even use November to work on the novel I want to write.

Look at us, talking about writing novels. I want to puke.
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Lottel

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2009, 02:34:54 PM »

I'll join in. I am in a Creative Writing course so I am writing stuff anyway.
Might as well post stuff here! I could use the help and encouragement (and mocking) and all that.
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Doom

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2009, 02:52:38 PM »

Look at us, talking about writing novels. I want to puke.

I dunno, squeezing some creative juices out and having something to edit, hate, dig through to salvage the good bits and play with is a decent enough exercise in itself. Doing it with friends and exchanging criticism and mocking is just extra fun.
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yyler

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2009, 02:57:19 PM »

I'll probably just do in November what I do all the time anyway, which is think about the things I could be putting to paper and then not put them to paper.
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Shinra

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #12 on: October 08, 2009, 03:26:49 PM »

I think I am being forced to by some people on another forum. I don't really know what to do. I kind of hate NaNoWriMo because it tends to produce nothing but trash, which means I can't even use November to work on the novel I want to write.

Look at us, talking about writing novels. I want to puke.

The point of NaNoWriMo is to teach you how to stick to your goals and build a story by imposing a strict time limit. I can't think of a better way to learn to write than to write a novel, even if it's a crappy novel.

The biggest problem I have with writing now is getting past page 20 - writer's block, procrastination, etc. With NaNoWriMo's deadline I have a timeframe to work in and with a timeframe to work in I might actually get something done.

Also, good novels have been written in the competition before (apparently including a #1 new york times bestseller?) so it's not like it's an impossibility. If you don't want to participate, that's fine, but spare those of us who do the negativity, because not all of us are practiced, established novelists and masters of prose such as yourself.
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yyler

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2009, 03:30:00 PM »

Oh, I thought you were practiced and established novelists. In that case, I'll spare you the negativity.
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Brentai

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2009, 03:51:11 PM »

MARI MARI
THE WORLD'S GREATEST PLUMBER

CHAPTER 1 – MARI MARI, THE WORLD'S GREATEST PLUMBER, GETS HIS HEAD STUCK IN A DRAIN


One day, Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, got his head stuck in a drain.

“Help!” screamed Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, “My head is stuck in a drain!”

Luig Mari, who was Mari Mari's brother, found Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, with his head stuck in a drain and laughed.  “Mari Mari!” he said, “Although you are the world's greatest plumber, somehow you have managed to get your head stuck in a drain!”

“Yes indeed!” confirmed Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, “My head IS stuck in a drain!”

“Well then,” said Luig Mari, who was the brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, “Perhaps we had better get your head out of the drain in which it is stuck in!”

“Yes!” confirmed Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, with great enthusiasm, “Indeed we should get my head out of this drain in which it is stuck!  Also, I am developing pneumonia.”

“I am sorry to hear that you are developing pneumonia,” said Luig Mari, who was the brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, “Would you like me to fetch some warm herbal tea, or should we first focus on how to remove your head from the drain in which you have gotten it stuck into?”

“Warm herbal tea will do me no good while my head is still stuck in a drain, Luig Mari, my brother!” said Luig Mari's brother, Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, “Let us first solve the conundrum of how to remove my head from the drain in which it is stuck into.”

“Yes, let us first solve the conundrum of how to remove your head from the drain in which it is stuck into,” agreed Luig Mari, who was the brother of Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber.  “First, I believe I shall try to defeat the drain with my plumbing!”

“Incredible idea!” explained Luig Mari's brother, Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber who had his head stuck in a drain, “You must use your plumbing because you are the brother of me, Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, and because my head is currently stuck inside of a drain.”

“Indeed your head is still stuck inside a drain,” observed Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head, as previously noted, was stuck inside a drain, “That shall be resolved when I use the great plumbing skills of Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber who has his head stuck in a drain.”

With this statement Luig Mari, who was the brother of Mari Mari, the world's greatest plumber, whose head unfortunately continued its insistence on being stuck in a drain, took out the wrench that belonged to Luig Mari, the brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber and head-get-stuck-in-drainer, and began to use the plumbing skills of Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber who nevertheless managed to get his head stuck in a drain, upon the drain in which Mari Mari, Luig Mari's brother and world's greatest plumber, had stuck his head into.

“How is your plumbing working, Luig Mari, brother of me, Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, who I must confess now has his head stuck in a drain?” asked Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, from inside the drain in which he had stuck his head.

“My plumbing is working excellently because it is in fact the plumbing of Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head will soon be extracted from this drain because of my plumbing,” reported Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head Luig Mari's plumbing was about to extract from a drain.

“Excellent!” complimented Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose brother was currently helping to extract his head from a drain using his plumbing.  “When my head is no longer stuck inside this drain, I will use the money I have earned from being the world's greatest plumber to buy you a pizza, because I know that pizza is in fact the favorite food of my brother, Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber who is now grateful that his brother who is good at plumbing is using his plumbing to get his head out of a drain.”

“Actually,” corrected Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber whose head Luig Mari was trying to remove from a drain using his plumbing, “The favorite food of me, Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, who I am using my plumbing to extract the head of from a drain, is hamburgers.”

“Well I'll be a plumber whose head is stuck in a drain!” exclaimed Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head was currently being extracted from a drain by his brother who was using his plumbing, “I had no idea that the favorite food of Luig Mari, brother of me, Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber and IN FACT, actually a plumber whose head really IS stuck in a drain, was hamburgers!”

“It seems you learn something new every day, my brother, Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head I am currently extracting from a drain using my plumbing,” said Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, whose head he was getting to the task of removing from a drain by using his incredible plumbing.  “There!” exclaimed Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, “Your head is no longer stuck in a drain!”

“Thank goodness, brother, by whom I mean Luig Mari, brother of me, Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, whose head was until recently stuck in a drain until Luig Mari, brother of me, Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, used his plumbing to remove the head of me, Mari Mari, brother of Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber and brother of Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest

“Oh would you SHUT THE HELL UP,” screamed Bowsa, who promptly sat on Mari Mari, world's former greatest plumber and now a goopy Italian corpse pasted all over Bowsa's ass.

“Mama mia!” exclaimed Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber and

Bowsa sat on Luig Mari too.

“Jesus,” mumbled Bowsa.

CHAPTER 2

BOWSA WIPES THE MARI BROTHERS OFF OF HIS ASS


“Now I have to find something to wipe the Mari brothers off of my ass with,” growled Bowsa.

“Hello!” said a small, sexy, mushroom-shaped female, “I am Goombell!  Have you seen Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, and his brother Luig Mari, brother of Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber?  I have some plumbing that needs done and it must be done by the world's greatest plumber, who is Mari Mari, who is...”

“That'll do,” said Bowsa, who then picked up Goombell and started wiping his goopy corpse-covered ass with her.  “Aaaaaaah.”

“Ackthpth waith!” screamed Goombell in between spits of goopy Mari Mari and Luig Mari corpse bits from her mouth, “I don't do this sort of stuff until the second date AT LEAST!”

“Aaaaaaah!” repeated Bowsa, as he continued to wipe the plumber corpses off of his ass with Goombell.  “You wanted to find Mari Mari, baby?  Well HE'S IN YOUR MOUTH NOW!”

“I don't do that until you buy me dinner!” Goombell cried while more bits of goopy corpse went into her mouth.

Suddenly, the author decided to write something else.

CHAPTER THREE

PRINCESS PEACOCK SURVEYS THE MUSH-ROO KINGDOM


Princess Peacock surveyed the Mush-Roo Kingdom.

“Yep,” said Princess Peacock, “Looks pretty all right to me.”

The Mush-Roo Kingdom was of course the result of a merger between the Kingdom of Mush, ruled over by furries, guys in silly armor, and furries in silly armor, and the Kingdom of Roo, which was mostly ruled by furries most pointedly NOT in any form of armor at all.  Including cloth.  What I'm trying to say is that they were naked.

“Yep,” said Princess Peacock again, pursing her lips, “Looks preeeeeetty all right.”

“Excuse me,” said a passing purple fox-taur with a 20-inch vago-penis, “What kind of animal are you supposed to be?”

“Why isn't it obvious?” said Princess Peacock, adjusting her crown in a sultry fashion, “I'm a peacock!”

“Peacocks don't have lips, ma'am,” corrected the fox-taur.

“And fox-taurs don't have vaginas all over their penises,” Princess Peacock shot back.  “Or... maybe they do?  I don't really know much about horrible perversions of nature and science, which you appear to be.”

“Naw,” said the fox-taur, stroking his... thing, whatever it was, “This thing is perfectly natural.  I got it from J-Dawg.”

“J-Dawg?” asked Princess Peacock, who at present had absolutely no relation to Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, and also a pasty blob on the ass of Bowsa and inside the mouth of Goombell.  Not that anyone wants to hear about that.

“Yeah, J-Dawg!” answered the fox-taur, whose name was... oh I dunno...

Uh...

Fox-Taur.

“I used to have just a normal, 20-inch long dick,” started Fox-Taur.

“Of course,” said Princess Peacock, “Nothing at all unnatural about that.”

“Right!  But then this guy, J-Dawg, he came to me and was all like:

'YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU LIKE VAGINAS SO WE PUT VAGINAS ON YOUR DICK SO YOU CAN... UH... DAMN, I DIDN'T THINK THIS SHIT THROUGH.  WELL, LATAH!'

And that's how I got my vago-penis.”

“Incredible,” said Princess Peacock, holding back a mighty stream of vomit, “What a delightfully charming story.  So I suppose, then, that this J-Dawg is a...”

“An anthropomorphic letter J, of course.”

“Of course.  Silly me.  Why did I even ask?”

Princess Peacock started to walk away.

“Wait!  Where are you going?  I have 20 inches of freaky vagino-dick right here!”  Fox-Taur did a crotch chop to illustrate the point that he did, in fact, possess 20 inches of vagino-dick.

“Yes, as difficult as it would be to pass up such an offer as that,” said Princess Peacock, who then spontaneously laid an egg to illustrate some point which was completely lost on the poor, horny, horrifically enhanced fox-taur named Fox-Taur, “I think I shall set off and see if I can meet this... J that you call J-Dawg.”

“What?  Why do you want to do that?  Are you trying to get a cootie-cock too?”

“No no no,” said Princess Peacock, “...definitely no.  But I do not have much else to do, so I would like to meet the man who has been committing such perversions in my new kingdom.”

“New kingdom?” gasped the astonished fox-taur, Fox-Taur, “Then that means you're...”

“Yes,” confirmed Princess Peacock, “I am indeed Princess Peacock, the new princess of the Mush-Roo Kingdom.”

“Wow,” whispered Fox-Taur.  “You SURE you don't want some vagino-cock?”

“Absolutely positive.”

“Damn,” moaned Fox-Taur, and he slumped off.

CHAPTER FOUR

BOWSA KIDNAPS PRINCESS PEACOCK, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.  ALSO, HE SHITS A PLUMBER.


Bowsa shat a plumber.

“Holy fuck!” exclaimed Goombell, who then also shat a plumber.

“Mama mia!” exclaimed Mari Mari, once again the world's greatest plumber, now covered in Bowsa ass and Goombell spit, “That was a spicy-a meat-a-ball, eh, my brother, Luig Mari?”

“Who is Luig Mari?” asked Joe the Plumber.

Bowsa looked at Goombell.  Goombell looked at Bowsa.  Mari Mari, world's greatest plumber, looked at Joe the Plumber.  Joe the Plumber looked at Mari Mari, Goombell and Bowsa.  Princess Peacock looked at 20 inches of vagina-covered dick.  20 inches of vagina-covered dick looked at Princess Peacock.  Fox-Taur looked at boobies.

“MAMA MIA!” they all exclaimed in unison.
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Frocto

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2009, 10:37:32 PM »

Write 20 more of those and you're done!
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Brentai

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2009, 10:44:20 PM »

24.
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Frocto

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2009, 10:51:53 PM »

it's actually 26, you pedant
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"And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Brentai

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #18 on: October 08, 2009, 11:12:54 PM »

Show your work.
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Frocto

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Re: NaNoWriMo '09
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2009, 11:24:58 PM »

"Oh, he wants me to show my work does he?" said Fridey Octapa, world's greatest work shower. "Then showing him my work is exactly what I, Fridey Octapa will DO, as I am the world's greatest I cannot believe you actually read this whole sentence."

Office 2007 says you typed 1,927 words, multiplied by 26 is 50102.
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