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Author Topic: KateStory Forever  (Read 14010 times)

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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #40 on: June 14, 2010, 09:04:21 PM »

"You're going to ask me, aren't you," said Janey -- more resigned than accusatory.

"Yes," sighed Fig, "I'm afraid that I am."

"Everybody eventually does," said Janey.

"I'm sorry," said Fig.  "If it makes you feel any better, I'm leaving the 'it's your destiny' claptrap out of it.  The long and short of it is, there's a Blight on, we're going to need all the help we can get, and you're good at killing monsters."

Janey looked at her shoes, then looked Fig in the eye.  She exhaled.  "All right, fuck it.  But I still don't want to broadcast my identity.  I can rock a full helmet; I trained under Merlin.  Say --"

"No," said Fig, "he won't be there.  He's in Wales.  And yes, a helmet would be fine, but before you give me an uncategorical 'yes' I should warn you that the Bulwark will know it's you -- and they've assigned you a partner.  Though I've made it very clear that he is NOT to spy on you and he will NOT report to Miss Salazar."

"She's in the Bulwark?" said Janey.

"Yes," said Fig, "and where things get terribly awkward is, well, I'm going to have to give you a bit of background on her as well.  No, I'm not altogether sure why she hates half-demons so much -- seems a bit illogical, really, since her brother is a dinosaur...never really DID find out how that works; was always too polite to ask...but, well, the truth is that I know perfectly well why she hates ME so much, and it has to do with the fact that I made the mistake of sleeping with her several decades ago."

Janey's mouth contorted into a series of different shapes as a myriad of different thoughts tried to fight their way out.  The one that finally made it was, "...I thought you were gay."

"Oh, I am," said Minton with a shrug.  "So's she.  Those are reasons two and three why it was a tremendously bad idea.  Number one is that she was my student.

"At any rate," he pressed on before Janey could attempt another word edgewise, "the other day she attempted to tell the Bulwark about your heritage, and the geas I put on her prevented from doing it -- with the rather awkward result that she, well, accused me of sleeping with YOU.  Which led me to the realization that, well, in addition to several decades of pent-up bitterness toward me...she fancies you.

"Now!  I realize that's going to be an awful lot to process right now, so, before I go into any further detail, I do believe you need a good stiff drink."  He clapped his hands, loudly, in the air, and shouted, "JONES!  BRANDY!"
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #41 on: June 21, 2010, 07:02:10 PM »

With honed reflexes and in one fluid motion Simo Belmo brought the delicious, flame-broiled Whopper sandwich to his salivating mouth.  Before he could take one bit (with honed reflexes) however, he was stopped by a sight that he could not believe.  A male peacock had walked into the Burger King.

A fucking male peacock.  Fucking just walked into the fucking Burger King.  Simo Belmo knew...

This was the work of vampires.

With honed reflexes Simo Belmo dropped the delicious Whopper sandwich and leaped to dispense righteous justice to the offending avian.  Before he could arrive however, some sort of god damn catgirl had already started feeding the peacock bits of bread.  Bits of bread soaked with blood, Simo Belmo thought.

"What the bleepity bleep fucking bleep do you think you're doing, enormously hot and ambiguously naked catwoman?" Simo Belmo shouted in one fluid motion.  "Don't you know that that peacock is the work of freaking vampires?"

"What... what are you talking about?" said the ridiculously hot catgirl, "I'm just feeding this peacock some bits of hamburger bun I've got left over."

With honed reflexes and in one fluid motion, Simo Belmo squinted his eyes at the catgirl.  "Cat... lady... whatever... is that a bikini or fur by the way?"

"Irrelevant!"

"Okay.  Anyway, possibly naked catgirl, don't you think it's a bit strange for a male peacock to just waltz into a Burger King?"

"Well sure, but what makes you think it's a vampire?  I mean, I know some vampires.  They mostly go around turning men into women and women into hotter women."

"They... what?  I thought I had killed the Rule 63 Vampire!"  With honed reflexes Simo Belmo stroked his chin thoughtfully.  "No, but anyway, do you want to know how I know that peacock is a vampire?"

"Yyyyy... no, not really," said the catgirl, "I'd rather not understand the thought processes of a crazy person."

"Well then missy, just answer me this one question."  With honed reflexes and in one fluid motion, Simo Belmo pointed dramatically at the offending avian.  "What animal in this world would actually think the hamburger buns from Burger King were food?"

The ridiculously hot catgirl looked at Simo Belmo blinking for a moment.  She looked at the peacock.  She looked again at Simo Belmo.  She looked again at the peacock.  Then she looked at Simo Belmo.  Then she looked at the peacock.  Finally, she looked at Simo Belmo.  And then, once more, she looked at the peacock.

"...you actually raise a very valid point," the hot naked catgirl was eventually forced to admit.

"And that's why I must beat it to death with my bare hands."

"You what?"

And then Simo Belmo beat the peacock to death with his bare hands.

I'M COUNTING IT
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Brentai

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #42 on: June 21, 2010, 07:20:47 PM »

Knock yourself out.
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #43 on: July 11, 2010, 09:14:57 PM »

The President cleared his throat.

"And so, my fellow Americans," he paused, "the situation is dire indeed.  I have assembled a panel of experts to assist me in our time of need.  As we are facing hordes of magic superpowered zombies from Hell, I have assembled an expert on magic, an expert on superpowers, an expert on zombies, and an expert on Hell."

Obama paused, looking very Presidential.  He continued: "I don't sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar, we talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.  And the consensus at this point is, it's the dragon.  It's the, ah, giant fucking dragon in the middle of Washington, DC, whose ass we need to focus on kicking right now.  And so, together with my panel of experts and a sizable number of tanks and explosives and so forth, I intend to, ah, do just that.  Thank you, and goodnight."

The camera stopped recording.

"Mr. Grimes," said the President, "can you come here for a moment?"

"Can I get you a ladder?" said Rick.  "So you can get off my back?"

"Uh, no Rick, that, ah, won't be necessary," said the President.  "As I was saying -- I'm going to need you to lead a charge right into the heart of the undead horde."

"Can I get you a ladder?" said Rick.  "So you can get off my back?"

"Well, ah, no, Mr. Grimes, as I said, I'm more interested in talking strategy --"

"Can I get you a ladder?" said Rick.  "So you can get off my back?"

The President's brow furrowed in consternation.  "Uh, you know, that doesn't even really make any sense."

"Can I get you a ladder?" said Rick.  "So you can get off my back?"

The President threw a stapler at his forehead.
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #44 on: August 03, 2010, 10:15:17 PM »

"When the hell are these FROM?" asked Elayne.

"World War II."  Kelly's voice was reverent as she ran her hand across the dull gray metal of the antique mech's Gatling gun arm.  "This sucker killed Nazis."

"And you know how to drive it?" asked Elayne.  "I can't even drive STICK."

"Levers, wheel, triggers, clutch, choke," said Kelly.  "I think you may need to start it with a hand crank.  But no electronics anywhere -- we're going oldschool.  The spells those monsters are casting disrupt quantum states or some goddamn thing.  That's why we don't just drop a neutron bomb -- kill the organics, save the capital."

Elayne paused a moment, as if looking for what to say.  "Kelly, in --"

"Shh," said Kelly, and hugged her.  "Just help me get in the robot.

"You know," she said, more cheerfully, as she strapped in, "I fought Hitler once.  Well, sort of.  By the time he actually showed up, these magical pirates..."

And so they talked, and they laughed, and they shared stories.  And by the time the sun set, Elayne was dead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even without bombs, electronics, or radios, the Earth faction had a clear advantage in firepower.  But the Devil only knew how many Darkspawn would keep pouring through that rift.  And they had far more magic-users than the humans or the raptors.

No sword or arrow was going to stop Kelly's warmech.  But a bolt of force blew out one of its knees and knocked it flat on its back.  Elayne was there in a flash; she'd helped Kelly get into the robot and she'd help her get out...

Elayne, like most of the raptors, had refused to arm or armor herself.  Let the apes use their crutches -- there was no improving on a raptor, the perfect killing machine.  Of course, she hadn't put it that way when she'd talked to Kelly...

A lot of raptors died that day.  But not a one died without leaving behind a pile of Darkspawn corpses first.

Kelly was stuck.  An arrow whizzed toward her.  Elayne didn't stop to think; she blocked it with her body.  It buried itself in her right shoulder.

She winced.  "Don't need arms."  She vaulted toward the Hurlock who had fired and landed her clawed feet squarely in his chest; she'd torn his throat out by the time they hit the ground.

She'd gotten the group's attention.  Two more arrows; one in her side and one in her stomach.  She reared, leapt upon the Genlock and disemboweled him before he could fire off another spell.

Blam.  Kelly had gotten her pistol from its holster; another Hurlock fell dead.

Then a spurt of machine-gun fire.  Seelzar didn't share the other raptors' disdain for firearms; he'd brought his AK's.  In another un-raptorlike display, he was sobbing.

It wasn't much longer before the knot of Darkspawn was dead or fled.  But it had been long enough.  Elayne slumped to her knees.  Seelzar ran to her; Kelly pulled free of the wreckage and did the same.

"Kelly..." coughed Elayne, "s-sorry...your wedding..."

"Shh," said Kelly, and hugged her.  "Shhhh.  Jesus, Elayne, you..."

"You and Billy..."

Kelly choked.  "We'll be fine, Elayne."  And a whisper: "If we have a daughter...we'll name her after you."

A smile teased Elayne's tired features.  "That's good.  I like that."  With some effort, she turned her head; her eyes fought to focus.  "Seelzar...you were the best...l...love..."

And she was gone.

Seelzar choked.  "Would...would you...?"

Kelly nodded and closed Elayne's eyes.  Seelzar trembled, shook all over, and then roared.  "PRESS ON!  On to the dragon.  On to the rift.  And leave as many dead Darkspawn between here and there as...as...as get in our way."

Without another word, he handed his spare AK and some clips to Kelly.
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Guild

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #45 on: August 05, 2010, 09:26:35 AM »

Elayne stood and spit up a half-gallon chunk of gelatinous, black blood containing three bronze arrowheads. With a swing of her gimpy arms the shafts fell from her body and clattered to the blood-stained ground. As a mysterious cloaked figure waved its hands, the freshly-undead dromaeosaurid theropod tilted after Kelly, her mind no longer able to process emotion or thought but her killing-machine body ready to maim. She sprinted after them.

++++++++

"Oh fuck you, Guild. How much do we have to kick this puppy?" Thad was opening a fresh pair of mellow lagers and handing one to Brentai who merely grunted in a manly way. From the front porch of their 126,000 square foot home, purchased with money from a lawsuit suing California for denying them the right to marry despite the fact that they both had girlfriends, one could see a stand of flamingoes landing in the pristine horizon pool bordering the five hundred foot cliff along their property line.

Brent finally spoke through his slight buzz and over the snapshot of him and his hot asian disney cartoon girlfriend and her hot blond anime girlfriend at Disneyland. "Don't worry. Guild wrote himself into the story by making himself and some other people Demonwang employees. That means we're safely in the fourth-wall dimension so his bullshit won't spill over into our perfect lives. Just close the browser and-"

Suddenly Etak burst from the screen and lept into Thad's eye. A stream of viscous clear fluid streamed down his cheek as it pushed itself firmly into his brain. Thad immediately sat back up and started typing furiously. Etak, having discovered as much about Katestory as it could, had finally found the source of its mission: Only by forcing Thad to delete every Katestory ever written could it accomplish its goal.

Brent took another swig of his beer and flipped on his PSOne.

+++++++

Kelly and Seelzar were in the thick of a massive horde, their bodies soaked in demon blood. A custodian of Demonwang foods drove a meat wagon not too far behind, harvesting the bounty of their river of gore for use in various snackfoods. It wasn't long in narrative terms before they reached DC proper and were stopped dead by a stone block roughly five football fields tall and wide and with a black iron door centered on its face. Two of the largest demons they'd encountered that week stood guarding it, one wielding a halberd made from a dire redwood tree, the other wearing dark glasses and a trench coat.

"We're here to deliver some asskicking. Can we go in?" Kelly rolled her eyes at Seelzar's cheesy line but let it slide in light of his recent loss.

The Neo-esque demon shrugged. "You'd have to kill-"

The gat delivered a hot stream of depleted uranium into its skull and it dropped dead. "How about you?" she asked the other, who promptly stepped aside sixteen feet and turned his head slightly to the right. "Something in my eye," he mumbled as they walked past.

The doorknob foiled Seelzar for not a moment and he grinned. "We figured that out a while back," he said and started to step through, but Kelly raised a hand. "We've got company."

Elayne's reanimated corpse lept screaming from the quasi-described foliage beside the gate, her talons ripping the air in a direct line for Seelzar's neck. He backflipped and sliced her belly with his talons but she merely became lighter and faster with the expulsion of her magically rotten guts onto Kelly. The viscera immediately jammed the mechanisms of her mech's guns.

Jumping down from the machine in disgust she flipped the AK off her back and tried to take a bead on Elayne, but now the zombie had landed and become entangled with Seelzar. As they battled, a spinning, ripping vortex of talons and screams, Kelly stood waffling between abandoning Seelzar to his battle and helping him. Her compassion won.

"Get down, Seelzar!" She opened fire as he hit the deck and the most reliable war machine ever made cut a chunk out of Elayne's brainpan.

"Oh my GOD. Elayne... argh!" Clearly on the brink, Seelzar backed awkwardly away from his mate's corpse and bowed his head, trying desperately to cover his enormous eyes with hands that could not reach them.

"Come on, Seelzar. Pull it together. She's already dead and we have a job to do."

Be it revenge or shock, Seelzar managed to turn his attention back to the task at hand, but his eyes had glazed with fury and try as she might, Kelly couldn't get him to hear her screaming for him to circle around and flank the squadron of temporal ghost ninjas approaching from the west. As they battled on, Seelzar's motions became fluidly robotic, his talons tearing limbs and vital organs free without discern for his own safety. She watched horrified as he waded into the dead middle of a pack of vernicious knids backed by a murder of airborne crowmen bearing particle beams.

Unbelievably he emerged ten minutes later without a scratch on his feathery hide. Kelly tried to break through his rage with a question. "When did you get neck feathers?"

"About 72 million years ago." he replied in a dead voice. "There's a tower ahead. Do you think-?"

"Definitely a decoy. Let's head for the shack on the right. I noticed several troopers came from that direction."

They loped along, Kelly with a particle gun and Seelzar with nothing but his feathers dripping with green and yellow and orange and blue and clear ichor.
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #46 on: August 19, 2010, 08:32:57 PM »

The shack was empty and too quiet.  Kelly turned in a circle with the particle gun, then made her way to the door into the next room, taking another quick look around.

"How does that gun work, anyway?" asked Seelzar.  "I thought the magic fucked up modern technology."

"It does," she responded.  "I don't know how they managed to use them, and I'm hoping I don't have to test it myself."

"Maybe you shouldn't say that so loud."

"You brought it up," Kelly said with a wan grin, "but anyway, I'm pretty sure this place is empty."

"But we saw guards coming out."

Kell opened the door at the end of that room, and revealed stone stairs leading down.

Seelzar sucked on a fang.  "That doesn't look like it belongs."

Kelly pulled a stone from her pocket.  It glowed blue.  "It doesn't.  We found a gateway."

"So Vera --?"

"Yeah, she and the rest of the bulwark will pick up the signal and be here in a minute."  Kelly started down the stairs.

"Should we wait for them?"  Kelly shook her head.  "Ah, I get it.  Forge on ahead, clear out any goons we find.  And keep them covered while they cast their spell."

Kelly nodded and descended the stairs, Seelzar following, the only light the glowing stone in her hand.  It seemed that the staircase curved slightly, in a very wide circle, an impossibly wide circle, wider than the shack they had entered.  And far too deep -- down and down they went, deeper and deeper, down and down and down and

"Kelly?" said Seelzar.

"What?"

"When did we start going...up?"

Kelly realized he was right -- they were moving up.  She looked over her shoulder, but the stairs behind them went down, as far as the glow illuminated them.

"The gates distort things," she said at last.  "It's not a strictly euclidean path we're following."  And she trudged onward, and upward.

Up, up, up -- it seemed like hours -- and then there was a tiny wooden door, rounded on the top.  Kelly opened it a crack and sighed.  "I was afraid of this."

She and Seelzar stepped out, and, inexplicably, directly onto the roof of the White House.  Across from them, they saw another door open, Vera, Carter, and Fig stepping through, jaws set, with an armored woman who must surely be Janey.  Above them, a giant gate rent the sky; it would be the Bulwark's duty to close it.

In front of them was something that would make it rather difficult to concentrate on the gate: a great red dragon, nostrils flaring.

"GO!" shouted a confident voice.  "We'll, ah, hold off the Archdemon!"

The Guardians of the Globe stepped from a third doorway.

"This is MY house," growled the President.

"STUPEFY!" shouted Harry, as he took to the sky on his broom.

Vera nodded at Carter.  He ran to the farthest spot from the Archdemon, the rest of the assembled Bulwark following.  Fig traced a chalk line; Carter knelt, closed his eyes, and began to chant.  Janey drew a broadsword, Vera a wand, and Fig his trusty Uzi; they stood protectively over their comrade.

"So at this point," said Kelly, "our job is, keep the dragon away from that guy over there."

Seelzar nodded, emitted a roar, and leapt feet-first at the Archdemon.
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #47 on: August 23, 2010, 08:26:44 PM »

The Archdemon was having none of it.  It batted Seelzar away with a swipe of its claws and sent a plume of flame right at Harry, then in a single bound was right on top of the Bulwark.  The force of his landing shook them right off their feet -- knees, in Carter's case.  His head smacked the rooftop and he knew no more.

There was a hum and a thrum and the dragon jerked its head around.  Kelly had activated the pulse cannon.  It didn't seem like it was working quite right; it was shaking in her hands -- but it had zapped him.  She fired off another shot -- it only dealt him a grazing blow this time, but she had his attention -- long enough for Billy to step out of the shadows and fire a shotgun blast right into the dragon's eye.  It howled, and before it could recover Fig had come up alongside it and was emptying as many rounds as he could fire into its hide.

Vera looked down at Carter and cursed.  She felt his pulse, sighed with relief, and then scowled.  She clenched her jaw in thought, grimaced, and reached a decision.  She withdrew a chimaera wing from Carter's pocket and threw it skyward; he disappeared.  She reached into her robe, turned to Janey, and thrust a folded-up piece of paper into her hand.

"I know you can close the gate," she whispered.  "And if you try to double-cross us, I assure you I will drag you to Hell with the rest of the world."

Janey ignored the threat and unfolded the piece of paper.  She recognized the spell; she had seen it in the book she had accidentally borrowed from the library all those months ago -- copied in Vera's handwriting.  She handed her sword to the middle-aged (thirtysomething? it was hard to tell) woman and began muttering guttural sounds.

The dragon roared; a dozen darkspawn began running toward her.

"EAT SHIT AND DIE!" shouted Spawn, and beat the darkspawn with his chain, as Rick buried his axe in a Hurlock's skull and Seelzar disemboweled another.

Janey traced a series of very precise arcane symbols in the air.  She could feel the heat of the dragon's breath coming toward her --

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" shouted Harry, and a silver stag appeared before Janey, absorbing the heat and the force of the flames.

She kicked the ground before her, scattering debris.  There was a tremor, the strongest yet, a feeling of constricting, and a Lavos shriek -- and the blackness began, perceptibly, to shrink.  Janey staggered forward as the gateway closed; Vera caught her.

There was silence -- just for a moment -- and then the dragon roared in rage.

That was when the final door opened on the rooftop.  Larry Tinnik held it open for the mysterious man who was the head of the Bulwark; he pushed Old Man Rivers onto the roof in his wheelchair.  And, bringing up the rear:

"Hi, dragon.  I'm Gok.  I hear you're the baddest fucking demon in two worlds."  The fur on Gok's body stood on end as he rolled up his sleeves.  "But the thing is, I cook demons for breakfast.  Fucking literally.  And you are going to make me even richer than I already am."

With that, he reached for the scabbard on his hip and withdrew a giant potato peeler.  For the first time, Janey could see fear in the Archdemon's eyes.

The beast reared up, as if it would fly away -- but it seemed stuck fast.  Janey could feel waves of power --

-- it was Old Man Rivers.  He sat there in his wheelchair, silent, his gaze fixed directly on the dragon and a snarl twisting his mouth.

Gok strode forward, swinging the peeler in a broad, lazy arc.  And he began to sing.

"His head was bent in sorrow --" slice "-- red scales fell like rain."  And they did.  "Puff no longer went to play along the Cherry Lane..."  Swish, swish; he was cutting through the dragon's hide like it was hardly there.

"Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave --"  Gok thrust the sharp end of his peeler-sword into the beast's chest and cut a seam.  "So Puff, that mighty dragon, sadly slipped into his cave!"

He reached his hand into the beast's chest and pulled its heart out.  He dropped it in a Styrofoam to-go box, took several steps back, and watched the beast fall, dead.

A collective sigh went up from the gathered heroes, and then Rivers snapped up.  Fig ran to him, pulled him from his chair.

"What's happening?" said Janey.

"This is how we kill Archfiends," said Vera, softly.  "The beast's soul inhabits the nearest Warden, and then...we kill him."

"No," whispered Janey.  "No!" she called to Fig, "You don't have to --!"  She reached for her boot.  "I have a spirit knife, I've done this before --"

Fig shook his head sorrowfully.  "I'm afraid this isn't like that, Janey," he said.  "You can't kill this demon outside of a Grey Warden host.  If you use that knife, it'll just jump to the next one -- me."

"But --"  Janey tried to say something, and then finally sobbed and collapsed to her knees.  Vera put a hand on her shoulder -- comfortingly; the first time Janey had ever associated that word with her.

With difficulty, Rivers turned and faced Janey, with a look of gratitude.  But he shook his head, gave a weak smile, and turned to Fig.

"Goodbye, old friend," whispered Fig.  A knife flashed in his hand.  Janey put her head in her hands; Vera held her tightly.

And then it was as if the whole world exhaled.  Clouds gathered, and a gentle rain began to fall.
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Thad

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2010, 06:33:45 AM »

Kelly and Billy were married, and, thanks to Cyan Prime's intervention, the karaoke bar WAS rebuilt in time for the big finale.  Cyan Prime still got banned from the forums for life, though.  It was for the best, really.

Jonathan "Doctor" Cain's opening piano bars began to play, and Kelly took to the mic.

Just a smalltown girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere


Billy chimed in:

Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere


Gok:
A singer in a smo-kay room

Plot:
The smell o' wine and cheap perfume

Both:
For a smile they can share the night

Marvin:
It goes on and on and on and on

And the newlyweds again:
Strangers, waitin'
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searchin' in the ni-i-ight


Derek the Derelict:
Streetlight people

LOGIC:
Livin' just to find emotion

Jojo the Flipping Elf:
Hidin' somewhere in the niiiiiiiight

The Flyin' Dork sang along with the piano:
Laaaa, la la laaaa, la la laaaa, la la laaaaa, la la laaaa

Janey:
Workin' hard to get my fill

Vera:
Everybody wants a thrill
(Janey squeezed her hand)

Gok:
Payin' anythin' to roll the dice
Just one more time


Fig:
Some will win, some will lose

Seelzar:
Some are born to sing the blues

Kate:
Oh the KateStory never ends
It goes on and on and on and on!


Everybody cheered!  She'd changed the words to the name of the thing they were in!

Uncle Larry:
Strangers, waitin'

Jones:
Up and down the boulevard

MYSTERIOUSSHADOWYFIGURE:
Their shadows searchin' in the ni-i-ight

Girard:
Streetlight people

Lanny Lungfungus:
Livin' just to find emotion

Stef and Steve:
Hidin' somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

X made a guitar out of lasers, like any good sci-fi robot can, and ripped a righteous power chord.

GUITAR SOLO!

And Maleophonix took to the stage.

DON'T STOP BELIEEEVIN'
HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEELAHAHAHIN
STREETLIGHT PEEEEOPLE OHHHOHOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DON'T STOP BELIEEEEVIN'
HOLD OHOHOHOHONNNNN
STREETLIGHT PEEEEOPLE OHHHOHOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


He transformed into Hedgehog X and began breakdancing.

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'
HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEELIN'
STREETLIGHT PEOPLE OHOHOHOHOHOHHH


The company sang another chorus.  Because this was a karaoke version with an extra chorus.  I don't know.  Do I look like I spend a lot of time in karaoke bars?  I tried to go to one once.  There was no karaoke.  And then Kazz kicked a beer can into the back of my head.

STRANGERS, WAITIN'
UP AND DOWN THE BOULEVARD
THEIR SHADOWS SEARCHIN' IN THE NI-I-IGHT
STREETLIGHT PEOPLE
LIVIN' JUST TO FIND EMOTION
HIDIN' SOMEWHERE IN THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is 1986, and I am a spy in Mumm-Ra's pyramid.  He's observing Skeletor in his cauldron.

I am three years old, and I am dreaming in self-insertion crossover fanfic...


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'
HOLD ON TO THAT FEELIN'
STREETLIGHT PEOPLE OHOHOH
DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'
HOLD ON TO THAT FEELIN'
STREETLIGHT PEOPLE OHOHOHHHHH
DON'T STOP!


And then they stopped.

The newlyweds took a bow, and the cast erupted into applause and raucous cheers.

Anticlimax slid up to the mic and began to sing.

"Any way you want it, that's the way you want it, any way you want it, wantitwantitwantitwantit..."

But those were the wrong words.  To a different song.  And the song was over.  Oh, Anticlimax, will you ever win?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thad and Brentai strode away from the karaoke bar, heads held high in drunken merriment.

"So," said Brentai, "fifteen fucking years of this thing, huh?"  He was trying to sound less pleased than he actually was.

Thad's watch beeped and flashed a little blue light.  "Don't look now, Brentai my good man," he said, "but it's sixteen."

"Thad?" said Brentai.  "It's just Brent now, okay?"

"BRENT?"  Thad was incredulous.

"Just Brent," confirmed some king-guy who showed up.  Then he kicked a beer can into the back of Thad's head.

"Brent it is," said Thad.



KATESTORY XVIII: KATESTORY FOREVER
16 YEARS, MOTHERFUCKERS
DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'.
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McDohl

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Re: KateStory Forever
« Reply #49 on: October 23, 2010, 12:43:21 PM »

And then the world exploded.
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