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Author Topic: Retronauts Mark II  (Read 8500 times)

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Norondor

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #60 on: March 05, 2008, 04:27:36 AM »

You are a miracle.
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parish

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #61 on: March 06, 2008, 09:10:27 AM »

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McDohl

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #62 on: March 13, 2008, 07:51:33 PM »

New Retronauts!

BROUGHT TO YOU IN PART BY SMASH BROTHERS AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU!
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Norondor

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #63 on: March 14, 2008, 01:46:59 PM »

You know, I've been meaning to say this: Sharkey, you always sound so disgusted all the time on these podcasts. Which is good, actually, since in that respect you're sort of the audience stand-in for people who throw up in their mouth when they think about the FF7 spinoff naming scheme.

On that note, could we all chip in and get Shane a new voice or something?
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Burrito Al Pastor

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #64 on: March 14, 2008, 02:17:32 PM »

Nonsense. Shane "Biggest Fan" Bettenhausen has a perfectly respectable voice for his role. What he really needs is a tiny beard for his neck. If he didn't have that voice, he'd stop being able to fulfill his very specialized and delightful role.

Of course, I say "delightful", but I don't have to work with him. If I did, he'd either be my best friend or in a shallow grave, and I'm honestly not sure which it'd be.
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François

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #65 on: March 14, 2008, 03:04:57 PM »

I agree that Shiren is thoroughly awesome. It's a legitimate roguelike, simpler in some respects than what Nethack may have used you to, but it has its own type of depth. And even though you face some severely nasty critters with the usual gamut of annoying roguelike abilities (thieves, equipment damagers, level drainers, etc.), the game never feels mean, cruel or unfair.

The bonus dungeons are really clever, too. My favorite (in the original, anyway) is the one where you're given a knife that turns enemies into meat when you kill them, and that's the only weapon you ever get. So as you go, you basically build your arsenal of one-shot shapeshifting items that can be used in a myriad of strategic ways. If you face a tough melee monster, throw some mouse meat at him and he'll turn into a mouse. If you're near death, eat the meat of a monster that turns into a ghost when he dies, and you'll turn into a ghost able to possess any other monster in the level. You can transform into an archer with an infinite amount of arrows, shoot a bunch of arrows into a wall, then pick them back up to use in your regular human form. The meat knife by itself doesn't do a lot of damage, so the game demands cleverness, and rewards it with survival. There's always an element of chance involved, but it tests your ability to stack the odds in your favor and do your best with the resources you've got. I still haven't beat the meat dungeon, but every once in a while I give it a shot, and rather than feeling disappointed when I die, I'm just glad I got as far as I did.
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Burrito Al Pastor

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #66 on: March 14, 2008, 03:48:55 PM »

I'd love to give Shiren a try, but Phantom Hourglass broke my left shoulder button, and it sounds like ranged attacks are kind of important. Is that the only way to use them, or is there a touch-screen substitute I can use, or...?
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Niku

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #67 on: March 14, 2008, 03:57:56 PM »

You can always select them from the menu and select "Shoot", it's just far less convenient.
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Sharkey

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #68 on: March 14, 2008, 04:14:21 PM »

Pretty much the entirety of my review was a single anecdote:

While leading a little girl around the dungeon, a mage hit me so hard I flew backwards, into the girl. Which killed her. To add insult to injury, the mage leveled up for that. The next turn he hit me with a polymorph, which, fortunately, turned me into a tank with which I murdered the shit out of everything on the floor. Even better, I made a point of shooting my infinite arrows all over so I could pick them up for a stock of 99 when I turned human again.

It's the kind of game that's just absolutely full of a perfect combination of blind retard luck and rewards for cleverness. It's never just a matter of pushing the fight button over and over again until your numbers are big enough to kill the next palette swapped fucking jelly with more HP or whateverthefuck. I love it.
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Arc

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #69 on: March 27, 2008, 06:50:50 PM »


This every-two-weeks schedule appears to be working out, yet I've fallen behind all the same.

Gave the SMASH BROS. BRAWL sponsored cast a listen (Episode 38: Final Fantasy VII). I prefer shorter podcasts myself, but then again I'm not depending on them to provide remote stimulation while on the job like so many other loyal podcast listeners.

If the Virtual Console funds are drying up for Nintendo, then just releasing more games won't do the trick. They need to emulate Xbox Live Arcade in areas at this point. Bring in connectivity, and hope for a community to form. Then they can dump loads of software without abandon (of which even SNES-to-Gameboy conversions should be included).

Musical Interlude:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atEybGf-Opk

And now for those Shiren covers...

I still refuse to believe this is the year 2008 with decisions like these still floating around. Better to think it the early 90's, where I'm missing the releases of not only Pool of Radiance, but also four other AD&D abortions that bloomed too late into the cycle. Figures that the goober who informed me that D&D was about murdering people to level up (at the time) turned out to be the same lost soul who introduced me to Berserk.

Onward to...

Advanced Final & Fantasy Se7en

Advent Children, the most desaturated CGI Film Movie Not For Theaters is a perplexing object, as it simultaneously awed my friends in the first few minutes, yet had them sleeping like charmin babies by the time One-Winged Angel blared onto screen. In the end, the visuals (while daring) proved to be distancing. Fleshing out the cast beyond flashy tech demos might've helped too.

Question to the Square Employee: Before Crisis. Still listed as TBA, or dead in the lifestream? Crisis Core is one step closer to the inevitable Remake, but still a bridge too far. The quick sub-missions should be adapted to the series all the same. Less time input somehow made them more rewarding.

And now for the central rundown. GameFan had an interesting approach to making FF7 sound like the End All Be All in their previews. Sure, they were outright gushing, but it was how they attacked the design that perked up some attention. Centering on the environments, they pointed out how in all of this massive production designs of behemoth cannons and giant reactor cities, they managed to plop down a traditional farm into the mix. For kicks.

The Kitchen Sink approach is categorizing it... Nicely. This project threw in the whole damned neighborhood. EarthBound had done the same, but managed to keep it contextualized within an evolving world. One need only look at the seaside resorts in both titles to see how one is jammed in awkwardly, and how the other just naturally slides into place. What did work was the instances of steampunk haphazardly intruding into whatever it damned well pleased to, a trait no imitator has equaled.

The graphical showcase, unfortunately, hindered gameplay. Routes were muddy, nearly hidden at junctures, and all-together '24-bit' as stated in the cast. If the Remake ever had to be justified outside of needing quick cash, this would be the most legit case. The masterful Midgar to Outerworld transition will likely be produced into a thirty minute cutscene, but at least you'll know where to guide your team of rebels without clues.

Bizarre cross-dressing will remain intact. The fangrrls get off on that stuff. However, the Materia system might be altered to a semi-Sphere Grid concoction. Not that I mind. Character specific leveling can bite me. For all the bluster on the quality of the soundtrack, I believe it remains renowned due to being comprised of melodies, (outside of the One-Winged Angel nonsense).

That the Remake did not occur on the PS2 was honestly... Surprising? It could be remade every generation and still sell a minimum of three million copies. No matter the roller-coaster of its popularity, the interest isn't going away until another series eclipses it in the genre.

Lastly, Titfa is a favorite. The escape from the gas chamber in Junon (entirely on her own with luck) was a moment of character scripting that other director would have simply made into an arduous rescue mission, filled with GAR and signifying nothing.
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Arc

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Re: Retronauts Mark II
« Reply #70 on: March 27, 2008, 09:51:58 PM »

And now onto yesterday's new episode (Episode 39: Sim City), before I skip back further.

Virtual Console still hasn't seen the release of Super Smash Bros., going against the ideal retro release campaign that Metroid Prime 3 enjoyed. A financial chance lost. King's Knight has all the markings of a Capcom title with potential, that Square simply wasn't savvy enough to pull off. Possibilities of a Earthbound podcast were contemplated, and while Ryan wishes for Earthbound Zero on VC, an Earthbound 3 WiiWare release would be more headline worthy, no?

Zombies Frog's proposal for Sim City 5: Character leveling The Mayor so he and the military can fight bosses. You know you're in good company when the first references to the series are 1) The SNES conversion, and 2) Bowser. Super Mario World proved that the 16-bit era was flashier, but Sim City was the early signal that it could also go deeper.

Loading in a pre-made city and unleashing disasters upon the populace was a hoot, but the soothing (if treading close to muzak territory) soundtrack and moderate time progression mechanic clued the player in that another element was in play here. An element that could only be discovered through creation and failure. Unlike its ancestors, this version was just clean enough to make the zones distinct. Unlike its descendants, it didn't become cluttered, employing thick borderlines and clear goals.

The God Complex couldn't be helped. Outside of Dr. Wright, the player never interacted with the citizenry. They were merely (sim)ants from a faintly isometric perspective, who only knew how to complain and to be milked for their sweet taxes. They needed to be policed to death, taxed to death, and nuclear powered to death. However, in the not - mentioned - in - the - podcast 64DD edition, a new perspective came into play:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpe_BnXcMc8

Beyond citizen interaction, night would fall on the city, and a SimCopter (64) add-on was even released. Which leads to the spin-offs, rip-offs, and off-offs. Railroad, Zoo, and Flight simulations followed, with Roller Coaster & Theme Park creators being my personal weapon of mutilating choice. A theoretical Civilization & Sim City love child was alluded to in the cast. At that point they could just call the product 'Existence', and pull in tax revenues.

The Sims? Meant to checkout Makin' Magic while on a Potter kick, and The Urbz' quick - satisfaction - by - means - of - scripted - retardedness looked appealing enough, but... I have been cursed with a penis. So no go.

MySims has now sold, worldwide, one million units on Wii, and two million on DS. It'll be back.

And finally... When there is no room left in EA-Land, the dead shall walk the Sanrio Town.
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