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Author Topic: Let's Decide if we Should Play: Hello Kitty Online  (Read 720 times)

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Beat Bandit

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Let's Decide if we Should Play: Hello Kitty Online
« on: February 11, 2010, 12:51:53 PM »

So, if I've learned anything in life, it's that I can entertain myself with anything, and feel really good about myself when I do well at a child's game. I'm the most arrogant fucker on the planet when it comes to basic math flash cards.

Anyway, none of that shit matters and you all wasted time reading it, because the real purpose of this thread is that I decided to try doing another text and image LP.



That's right, Hello Kitty Online. Now, you already knew this because you read the thread title, but I don't really care, that was dramatic.

It is painfully difficult to try using this character creator and make someone you don't want to punch in the face. Also, they ask for you to choose a blood type. What? Do you help heal your friends by donating blood? Anyway I think I did a pretty good job of it, though. Those were the most sinister looking eyes available, and I actually kind of like the hair. It's not great, but definitely the best...



...oh, that was a ponytail?



So, I finish making the character, and take a moment to look at the stats screen they show you before starting. They don't have a single word, and you can't put any points into anything or you best believe that hammer would be all the way up.



Damn right I'm fast. "Dream Room 1" is the newbie spawn point, and either this game is empty, or it's an instanced tutorial. Either way, nothing too exciting going on, except that I'm a presumably underage character hanging out in my skivvies with giant anthropomorphic animals that look half my own age. I learn how to walk, so I do so to get the fuck out of here.



You are like some kind of super space genius! You live in an area that only people that have never been to your world before go to and your job is to teach me how to talk, which the dumbass in the first room already did and he didn't need to explain it for me to figure the shit out.



Anyway, I can't be that mad, because when I do talk to her she hands me some pants and says she doesn't need the neighbors seeing her with some little boy in his undies. Not again. Trying to think of why the hell this UI seems so familiar I head to the next room, starting to pull the pants up.




The first thing I see is the glow of Kero Kero's cigarette. Before I can turn, he tells me to put on the pants... slowly. The rest of this room is kind of foggy, let's just go on.



Dream Room 4 doesn't seem like much of a room, but whatever, I'm not here to judge. Like any good kid, seeing plant life, I instantly listen to the voice in my head telling me to rip it from the ground or chop it down. Then I pull out my... my pickaxe, and start to mine the ore...



Anyway, Badtz sees me do it and is all like "holy shit that was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6Jk-WObK2A. Can you do it like two more times?" I'm like whatever, and do it again. It's painfully boring and pretty simple, but doing nine instances of click-n-wait gathering practice in a row must be for good reason. I trust Badzt.



He repays my trust with cookies. A fair trade. We fist bump and I start leave when an enraged staryu assaults me, and fucks me straight up. The tree I cut down three times already fell over and crushed him, saving me from being "put to sleep" by the beast.



It wasn't safe to go any further knowing what demons lay in waiting for me while this weakened. Fortunately, I had just gotten some delicious cookies, and eating them helped me heal right up. Though, it also completely defeated the purpose of me doing the tutorial area. Either way, I'm ready to move on, and head through the last door out to the world!



...Okay I'm not ready for this.
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Miss Cat Ears

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Re: Let's Decide if we Should Play: Hello Kitty Online
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 12:58:59 PM »

A+
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Let's Decide if we Should Play: Hello Kitty Online
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 02:44:17 PM »



As soon as I make it to the dock, I see my first fellow human. She seems to want to play a game with me, but I am not used to this land's culture and miss the chance. Just then a new tutorial plays out in my mind.



















I learned a lot on that hilarious ride!



The dog I was standing next to seemed freaked out by me, and didn't know what tutorial I was talking about. Anyway, he just told me to go away, and if I bum around the tailor's place, maybe she'll give me some good clothes and a hot meal.
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