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[Disposable Ninja]

Well, if we're going to call the dog Airbud, we should name the kids after the Air Buddies: Baal (Budderball), Rose (Rosebud), BDawg (B-Dawg) and Muddy (Mudbud). Unfortunately that leaves Buddha high and dry. Perhaps he can be Ball's favorite thing. Baal takes Buddhism very seriously.

[Niku]

name the kids after the Air Buddies: Baal

Wow, I really need to watch those movies.

[Disposable Ninja]

... I sort of took liberties. His name is Budderball. Take away the "Bud", and all you're left with is Ball. And if you're going to call him Ball, you might as well call him Baal.

[Beat Bandit]

Earth Bud: the story of Air Bud and all his dope skills

Futbl, Sccr, Bsbl, Vlybl

special ability is of course Bsktbal

[R^2]

Earthbound music The Evil Giygas Attacks!

Well, before we get started here...

This image (which has very little to do with the actual game, but w/e) said "Gyiyg Strikes Back!" in the Japanese version. Gyiyg is the Japanese name for Giygas, but why would he "strike back"?

Well, this is a sequel. Not that you'd know, because the first game in the series was never officially released in the USA. In the first game, called "Mother" some kid fought off an alien invasion with the power of song -- the alien in charge of said invasion, Gyiyg (translated as "Giegue" in the unreleased prototype translation, but reconsolidated as "Giygas" in the fan translation of the GBA remake) was adopted by two human alien-abductees, who would always sing him a certain lullaby. Singing that lullaby in the final battle reminded the guy of his lost humanity, so he left.

And now he's back, in a game known in Japan as Mother 2.

...to shoot lasers at gas stations?

Oh, and that guitar bit at 00:28 in the music here? Rumor has it that's none other than Shigeru Miyamoto.

Mother 2/EarthBound Music - Your Name, Please
Note the bit from "The Liberty Bell" sampled for this clip. Being public domain, it's not one of the many copyright issues that prevent Earthbound from being re-localized and re-released in the USA. Yes, it was used as the theme for Monty Python's Flying Circus, but that's because it was public domain and the troupe didn't want to pay anyone for rights to their theme music.


As Niku mentioned, we can change the "flavor" of the menu windows. The flavors translate to white, green, pink, yellow, and brown. We'll be going with Peanut, because... well, because.


Each name entry has a "Don't Care" option, the first of which are the canon names: Ness, Paula, Jeff, Poo, King, Steak, and Rockin'. There are more, which in the English translation are kind of generic names. In Japanese they have Beatles-themes (John, Yoko, Paul, George, Ringo, Honey Pie) and Mario-themes (Mario, Peach, Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, Mushrooms) and so on.

Each time you enter a name, you hear a brief voice clip asking "OK desu ka?" The voice is that of Shigesato Itoi, the director of the Mother series. He didn't know he was being recorded when they took the clip, and didn't know they were putting it in the game. If you press Start instead of the A button to proceed through these menus, you get a different sound instead.


Our intrepid adventurers! Since the round was more "suggestions" than "voting" I had to pick which group worked reasonably well given the stricter-than-I-thought character limit and choose at random which of those to use.

Earthbound - Now, Let's Go!

[R^2]

Earthbound - One Fateful Night




"Nineteen ninety-ecks". Megaman will be invented by Dr. Light in ten or ecksteen years.




Onett, so named because it is first. I've always pronounced it "On-ett", but I've known people who stress the number theme by calling it "Wunt".








Why Snes? Well, the hero of the first game was named Ninten, one syllable short of the name of the console he appeared on. The original name for this kid is "Ness", which is just SNES with a letter moved.


Snes sleeps soundly, until... a giant earthquake! The screen shakes! A crashing noise! (The Avatar just lit the Candle of Love and opened the way into the Stygian Abyss, I think.)


"grrff... whaddthe bloddy hemorrhaging fuck..."


"upinthe middle of the damnnight... spies sappin' my sentry..."




"GAHHHH stupid light stupid eyes adjust already whaddthefuck"




"Yeah need coffee"

Tracy: Were you freaked out?


"Imma take this and find whoever got me up at... at... whaddthefuck time is it, anyway?"






"Dunno. Gonna put another crack in this bat when I find out."

Snes's Mom: Snes, you don't seem scared. Are you nuts? And now you want to go check it out? ...oh. ...okay. You'd sneak out of your room, even if I told you not to. At least change out of your jammies before you go.


Red cap, blue-and-yellow striped shirt, blue shorts, red shoes, yellow backpack. Does this kid not own any clothing not in primary colors? I'd rather have stayed in my jammies.


Oh, right. Better equip this. +4 attack power.




"Goddamn good question, dawg."

In the first game it's made explicit: it's your own latent psychic power that lets you talk to animals. You had to choose "Telepathy" from a menu to do it in that game; here you just talk to them like anyone else.

[R^2]

Earthbound - One Fateful Night




Snes lives right next to a billboard acting as a road sign.


Meteorite, huh? Well, that explains a lot. I guess the Stygian Abyss is still closed up for now.


We are going for the world record...


I just wanna... what?! ...go home...


Would you say that's your... "Big Bang Theory"?! HA HA HA YOU GUYS I AM SO FUNNY


I am going to try to be the first to get there...


I wonder if the neighbors are as awake and crabby about it as I am.




His name was changed in this translation for reasons, but in the original Japanese his name is "Porky". Once he starts getting into the porcine theme a little more it helps to know that this was always the case.


Mom and Dad aren't home yet. They went out to an elegant restaurant.

There aren't any elegant restaurants in Onett. Or in Eagleland at all, now that I think about it.

Well, back outside.








...take this?








A meteorite fell down and went BOOM! It was a real mess for a while. I was fine because I always eat garlic and work out to make my body stronger. However, the weaker citizens probably fainted. I also want to tell you... whoops! I almost told you about my... Uh, by the way Snes, did you check my billboard? I wrote the message myself. That's what I do, you know, I'm a billboard guy. Why don't you check out my work?


Seems like a trustworthy guy.


Different from all the usual meteorites that fall around here, you mean?















And I guess sooner or later we'll have to overcome his bodily odor and talk to Porky directly.




I mean officers' way! You can go home now. Tomorrow I, Pokey, will tell you more about the strange meteorite. I'm fine here, but you're bugging the officers!


whatever man I don't even need this right now look at all the fucks I'm giving about you and your meteorite and your roadblocks to hell with all of you


Snes grumbles all the way home.


Well I'm up now. 


Oh, whatever.

[Classic]

Red cap, blue-and-yellow striped shirt, blue shorts, red shoes, yellow backpack. Does this kid not own any clothing not in primary colors? I'd rather have stayed in my jammies.

You can do that. Just ignore your mom as you leave the house.

[R^2]

Earthbound - Someone's Knocking at the Door


oh what the hell really can't a kid get some damn sleep around here




Shave and a haircut -- no legs!






Whoever that is they're knocking so hard the door is caving inward. I'm not sure I want to answer it now.

SNES - Earthbound - 011 - Whoa


Doesn't matter, Porky storms in when you're still six feet away anyway.

Earthbound - Pokey!


When I took Picky to the place where the meteorite landed...


Well to be fair you did just wake us up again and we're still in our nightclothes, probably with bedhead. So you can just fuck right off, Mister Pig Man.


to deal with the Sharks. You know the Sharks, they're the local ruffians, they were going really wild. Suddenly I noticed Picky was gone. I blame the cops... it certainly wasn't my fault at all. When my dad gets back, I know I'm gonna get it... You're my bestest friend.







Sigh. But thou must.






Ain't no rule saying a dog can't come with me.


Got it already.




Mom I am going to the top of the hill to look for Di-- er, Picky. I will be back in fifteen minutes.


Oh. Right.




My fifteen-minute adventure what is with you people




Tracy is your item-storage vault for the game.


That hurts, mom. That hurts.










So of course I screencapped in the rare frame of animation where the phone isn't hopping up and down like an excited puppy, but hey. The phone's ringing.






O... kay?


Dad, are you drunk again? Seriously it's like two AM and you don't even know what's going on here, but you still call up and shout encouragement at me.


FIFTEEN MINUTES!

Anyway, calling dad is a save point.


Also he periodically deposits money into your bank account in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with beating up enemies, no sir. And we do have an ATM card, it takes up some of our limited inventory space.


Fif. Teen. Minutes. And I'll be back home and done and in bed and Christ I need some sleep.



Well, let's roll.

[R^2]

Swiiiiirl!

Battle Against a Weak Opponent: Earthbound Music




No, this game wasn't directly inspired by Dragon Quest, what do you mean?


Like in Dragon Quest, sometimes enemies will waste their turns doing dumb things. Runaway Dogs do this a lot, since they're this game's Slime.


So do your NPC allies, sometimes. AirBud can actually rush and attack for more damage than SNES right now... when he doesn't waste his turn.


Or in Porky's case, all the time. He never does anything productive.


One Runaway Dog into the game and I've already leveled.


And learned a PSI ability. This one just heals some HP.


Hey, the roadblock is go--


Don't you think we should focus on getting Picky home?






Okay, I guess these guys are this game's Slime, since they're less dangerous than Runaway Dogs and give only 1 EXP compared to the dog's four.


Snes is pretty beat up, so he takes a cookie break.




So helpful.




This level-up actually gives some bonuses to more than HP and PP.


Critical hit! This is based on your Guts stat, but you always have at least a 5% chance of landing one.




A busy man's man. Or a man's busy man. Or... you know what forget it.


Hey. There he is. You can handle it from here, right Porky? I'm going home.


If only it were that easy.






AIR CHICKEN




Hey, coil snake. How's it goin'?




Yeah, if I can't get any damn sleep tonight, neither can you.

Pokey! I've been looking all over for you... You see, Pokey got scared and ran away... Well, I'm glad that you're okay at least...

STOP ENDING YOUR SENTENCES WITH ELLIPSES THAT IS ANNOYING


That's better.




Unlike his useless older brother, Picky will only occasionally waste turns in combat. But his fighting ability isn't very good, so he only does 1 damage when he attacks.




Actually, yeah. Yeah I do.








Wow, you're a lot easier to see when you're moving around. Look right above Snes's head for the speaker here. He flies around in tight circles when he's not in still screenshots.


in the future, all is devestation... Giygas, the universal cosmic destroyer, sent all to the horror of eternal darkness...
.....
However, you must listen! There is a well-known legend that has been handed down from ancient times. It says "When the chosen boy reaches the point, he will find the light. The passing of time will shatter the nightmare rock and reveal the path of light."

Well, it's no "One to be born from a dragon" but I guess it'll do.

You see, it is my opinion that you are that boy, Snes. This I believe...
.....
Giygas' monstrous plan must have been set in motion somewhere on Earth... If you start to confront the enemy immediately, you may have time to counter the evil intentions of Giygas. Three things are of the utmost importance: wisdom, courage, and

...power?

friendship.

Oh.

...The legends from the ancient times tell of three boys and a girl who defeat Giygas.
...I will tell you more later. Go now! And do not be anxious about the future. You have much work to do, Snes.


For the love of god please don't repeat that textwall.

Thank you for listening to my long story. You are as exceptional as I expected you to be.






...Three boys, he said? ...uhhh... I'm not one of those three, am I? ...'Cause... I'm not into this kind of thing at all... Geez. My heart is almost pounding right out of my chest!

That's a heart attack, fatass.


Anyway, we're going home.


Can you come visit me later, alone?












You've been successful at foiling Master Giygas' plans. But... Buzz Buzz, you must now surrender. You're no longer a hero, but just a useless insect. I'll stomp you hard!


We get a different battle swoosh and sound effect!

Otherworldly Foe: Earthbound Music
















It's a tutorial battle! Buzz Buzz will periodically refresh his psychic shield, and since the Starman Junior never uses anything but Fire and Freeze PSI abilities, you're invincible. Just plunk away at him, or don't -- Buzz Buzz also does far more damage than you with his regular attacks.

This is where you learn the difference in targeting between Fire and Freeze, if you're paying attention: Fire attacks a whole row of targets, Freeze does more damage to a single enemy.






He came from 10 years in the future to kill me, so we can't relax yet! From now on, you'll be fighting enemies sent by Giygas, as well as humans who have evil thoughts. They'll definitely make trouble during your adventure! Animals are also becoming violent due to Giygas' control over the evil in their minds!

Animals don't have the intellectual capacity to discern good from evil. That can't be true.


...


We swing by the house to talk to zombie mom.


Home cookin' makes for a full heal.

[R^2]

Earthbound - Pokey's House




Aloysius and Lardna Minch serve as a dramatic counterpart to Snes' ever-present and caring mother and distant-but-concerned father.


Both of you are really going to get it now!


Porky and Picky go upstairs.


Mister Minch follows.


There are sounds of child abuse some yelling I guess.




g next door. We've loaned your father a lot of money. It may have been a hundred thousand dollars or more... Well, I guess it really could have been less, but because of the loan, my family and I now live in poverty!


Oh well, nice guys finish last. That's the story of our life...


Buzz Buzz, tired from flying in circles around Snes's head, lands on Lardna's forehead.


The screen flashes, as Lardna isn't actually animated well enough to swat at Buzz Buzz. This ain't Mother 3, filled to the brim with animations that are crazy-detailed and only used once, you know.





Welp, that's that. I'm going home to get some shut-eye.


Crap.

…much weaker than I thought… So you must now begin your adventure… see… you…

Oh, I just remembered… Listen to my final words… To defeat Giygas, your own power must unite with the Earth’s… the Earth will then channel your power and multiply it…

There are eight points that you must visit. Make these places your own… Each of these locations is "Your Sanctuary". One of them is near Onett. It is called "Giant Step". Go there first…

Do you understand?

I'll say yes, if just to get him to stop talking. This doesn't work.

All right. You are a very intelligent young man… and… Oh! The pain!… Everything is getting dark… urgh!… *Gasp*…

Before I pass on, I want to give you something… It is the Sound Stone. You can record the melodies from the eight “Your Sanctuary” locations into this stone. It is an awesome item… By the way…

I’m almost gone, but did you want to hear the story one more time?

We do not.

It’s already dawn outside… But it doesn’t matter to me. I’m fading fast… Argh! *Gasp*


Another item that sits uselessly in your inventory, taking up space, for a gameplay mechanic. If I had thought of it before, I could have overloaded my inventory with cookies that some enemies drop so that there was no space for the Sound Stone. If you do this, Buzz Buzz sends it directly to Tracy's vault. Tracy will return it to you next time you talk to her, so you have to avoid her for the rest of the game, but it's possibly to access the vault through other means so that's not a big deal for the free inventory slot.

Oh well.

Earthbound - Sunrise & Onett Theme
The first seven seconds here directly invoke "Pollyanna", the wandering-around-the-map music from Mother 1. The rest is the Onett town music.


It's dawn!






See the morning sunlight crest over the hills, brightening the landscape everywhere...

[R^2]

Mother 2 / EarthBound - Onett (Orchestrated)/Theme of Eagleland

I posted the ingame version last time, so this time you get orchestrated stuff.


Hey, what's that?


Did everything just taste purple for a second there?


Magic butterflies restore 20 PP to everyone in the party. They appear semi-randomly, although some locations are biased to generate them.

Anyway, let's go see how the Minches are doing I guess.








You guys sock.


Screw you guys, I'm goin' ho--


dafuq




This guy actually spins downward, presumably having pierced the heavens with spiral power, but due to my AWESOME SCREENCAP SKILLZ I got him facing the same way every time.


I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera...
Ready...
Say, "fuzzy pickles."




Ker-shutter


It will always bring back the fondest of memories...

The fondest memories of my own house? Seriously?






Oh exploitable. Thanks, zombie mom! (Mom's a full restore for HP and PP whenever you talk to her.)


And a free teleport to your room, if that's important.


There are still Runaway Dogs and Coil Snakes about.


Beating up that one got me a level-up and a new PSI power. Hypnosis alpha puts one enemy to sleep.

Fun fact: Due to game mechanics, every enemy (and depending on equipment, all of my party) has resistance to Sleep status and Feeling Strange (confusion) status inversely proportional to one another. Once you get to 50-50 resist with both, increasing one always reduces the other.


Coil Snake!


We win instantly!


We didn't even need to go to a battle screen. If you're strong and fast enough, you can defeat some enemies without bothering with all that nasty "fighting" stuff. You get full experience, money, and if the enemy has an item drop, a chance to collect that. There's no reason not to.




First, let's go to the basement. Ah! I can tell by the look on your face you don't want to hang out, do you?

Yeah, this isn't sketchy at all.

That's all right. After all, we are not even related. I know you think I'm a big liar but maybe I'll surprise you!

He heads down the ladder. With no small amount of hesitation, Snes follows.






Liar X. Agerate runs off when you get close.


Until three rooms later, this guy waits for you to catch up from crossing his giant-ass basement.






My destiny is to find and dig up the buried treasure. I'll eat garlic and work out to help strengthen myself. Go home now. You're getting in the way of my work. You may start to get greedy thoughts...


This statue will surely in no way affect anything else for the rest of the game. It'll be left here in this cave forever.

On the way back to our house, we run into a...

Spiteful Crow. These guys always drop Cookies when you beat them, and are vital to filling up your inventory so you don't have to take the Sound Stone from Buzz Buzz. But I didn't see any until now, so


Let's head to Onett proper!

[Zaratustra]

Also, there's a higher chance of auto-win if you hit a monster from the back.

[Bongo Bill]

When you run into an enemy it calculates whether you'd be guaranteed to defeat them all with auto-attacks before even one of them gets to take a move, and skips the battle if that's true. If you run into them from behind then it takes your preemptive attack into consideration.

[R^2]

"And for God's sake don't pronounce it 'lie-berry'."


I got a lot of info about Earthbound. You can borrow maps for nothing!

Earthbound - Buy Somethin' Will Ya!
Humoresque of a Little Dog -- or as it's called in this game, Buy Somethin' Will Ya -- is probably my favorite single piece of video game music. It plays in every drugstore, and occasionally in other safe intown places like this.






The damnedest But-Thou-Must.


All the info is there, except for the info that isn't there. Pressing the X button allows you to view the map at any time. How convenient! You know, the X button... located near the top. Ha ha ha.

Since the town map is yet another item that provides a gameplay function by taking up your limited inventory space, I just reload and don't talk to the librarian.


No one knows when the monster made Giant Step its territory. I wonder if he's stronger than my wife...


(A man of few words. It's useless talking to him now.)


"Hotel Rule" ...if you stay at a hotel, you'll wake up with full HP and PP.
"Life Recovery Rule" ...recovering your life will give you full HP, but zero PP.
...Hmm... I bet this stuff will be on the test...


...or am I just dreaming?

The other people here tell you that there are ATMs in every hotel and drugstore, and that black phones are free but green phones cost a dollar.


We head upstairs, where...


Man, bathroom sniped.








This guy yammers on and on about magic butterflies, which I've already explained.


I heard it possesses a special power!

[R^2]

Onett Theme (Remastered) — EarthBound






We head into the trees...






I know you've wanted it for a long time. It's the best cap for someone really brave like you.


If the dream comes true, say hi to her for me. After all, I'm single...


You're so cool! I... I think I really like you. Well, you know what I mean.


The Mr. Baseball cap gives us a significant boost to our defense, and is better than the regular baseball cap sold in stores.


Moles tell you about gameplay mechanics, in this case sneaking up on enemies and being stuck up on yourself. It's lengthy and I'll talk about it later, so I'm skipping this guy.


He does accidentally break the fourth wall a couple times.


North, at the top of the mountain. Danger! Do Not Enter!


The reason it was close was 'cause a punk named Frank may have trashed the place. What a drag. We can't even change our clothes, and hotels are too expensive...


I haven't seen it myself... it's just a rumor.


Sometimes you enter homes. Sometimes you just knock and people talk to you through the door.

"Whisper pssst psssssss."
"Shhhhh, what if someone overhears us...?"
"Right. Whisper."
"Psst. Pss. Wa Ha Ha!"

"You jerk."
"Because..."
"Heh heh he"

Presented without further comment.


Treat them both nice.

Way to put a sign somewhere I can only read it by trampling on the flowers.




Her mother runs a preschool out of their home. I can't remember the name of the school, but I heard Gufin's really special. Why is she special? I forgot to ask. Oh well...




It sure is, little buddy.

Mother 1 (EarthBound Zero) Music - Humoresque of a Little Dog (Drugstore)
Humoresque of a Little Dog was in Mother, too.


She's probably got an ulcer from worrying about you.

Dude I can see my house from here, chill out.


Oh, a little dog. How funny. Well, not funny, but something like funny. Resembling humor. Humor-esque.


He goes on to tell us how to discern whether items we purchase in stores affect our offense and defense. When you highlight an item in a shop to buy it, if you window flashes, it's better than what you've got. If it's normal, it's the same as what you have equipped. And if it's dark, you can't equip it at all.


You don't have to talk to your dad to get the money in your account. He just lets you know how much he's put in since the last time you talked to him.

If you run out of HP, you lose all the money you had on hand. Money in the ATM is safe from this loss.


Ah yes, Earthbound pricing. Even if you add a decimal point it still doesn't make sense. Nonetheless, we buy a Cheap Bracelet for the defense boost, go beat up some dogs and crows, and come back for the Tee Ball Bat for the offense boost. Yo-yos can be equipped by anyone and sometimes boast better attack power than other stuff in shops, but they're inaccurate.


Buying something in a shop lets you immediately equip it, and then offers to buy back the item you took off. Convenient!




than 8 bucks worth of french fries? You'll feel better and more energetic if you eat better foods. You know -- you'll recover more health if you eat more expensive foods.


They never ask me "Would you like fries with that shake?"

No upsell? The store manager's gonna be in trouble when the regional comes around.




The Onett burger shop sells cans of fruit juice ($4/about 6 HP), coffee, french fries, and hamburgers ($14/about 30 HP). So sure enough, you're better off buying one hamburger than five cans of juice. This is generally the case throughout the game, with more expensive items having a better dollars:HP ratio.




But this one's free. Mmm, garbage burger.


How do they breat-- oh, right. The Sharks are the local street gang ruffians.






Why don't you get a hint from the next house?

Sure enough...


Subtle.


It's only $35 for him to tell me where to go next. Needless to say I won't be relying heavily on these for this LP.




I don't know what he was talking about.


I heard he will only show it to you.


and the cops have really been cracking down on everyone. I'm considering moving to Twoson, a town in the south.


The Mayor is proud of the people of Onett.

In Japanese, the mayor's name was an abbreviation for "baldheaded". I imagine that's what the B.H. stands for in this translation.










It's just been too busy lately. I'm sick of it.




At times like this, riots break out, or people start acting wild, so we police are being extra cautious.


I'm a cop, even if I don't look like it.

Way to blow your own cover, genius.






And at the back of the station, a suspiciously empty room.


Speaking of, I could go for another plate of Brains.


-Fresh Breeze Movement


Shocking!


Can you fill in the blanks?

You're given a Yes/No prompt.



Alternately, "Noterday? That doesn't make sense."









Earthbound - Enjoy Your Stay
The theme that plays in every hotel. Significantly harder to find good remixes of than Humoresque of a Little Dog.


I'm sure you understand this keeps us very busy.

I'm sure that with my own home just up the street I will never need to stay here anyway.












And we don't want any milk, either!


In the next town, there is the... what is the name? ... uh... Polar Star preschool. The preschool is a Gufin's house. Gufin uses... what is it called? ... uh ... magic.




So the boss of the Sharks is a monster?


Such a beautiful place gets me all choked up.


The house immediately to my left is for sale for $7500, more than we have right now.


I can practice my trumpet in this scenic spot. I'll send my haunting melody throughout the town!

He does so.


Until I have Chief Strong's permission, I can't let you through!


You can't just squeeze through road blocks, either! Onett is famous for roadblocks!




Then he says "Check-a-roony!" Is that you?

Well, it is now.


but I won't because I don't want to bother you with a story that has nothing to do with your adventure. If I keep talking about unrelated stuff, you might start ignoring important messages. It's important for you to talk to people.

Yeah, that's how I build Humility.

Also, a person might give you a different message, depending on when you speak to them.


They're kind of like fortune cookies, except you can win stuff. Oh yeah, and it's a sandwich. Okay, so maybe it's not like a fortune cookie.

Lucky Sandwiches can either restore a little HP, restore a lot of HP, do a full HP restore, give you back some PP, or do a full HP/PP restore. They're... kind of worthless, really, unless you want to savescum just for a sandwich.





I assure you this is not the case.

Snes heads to City Hall.



Is the mayor going to let them just run around, doing whatever they want? I'm here to protest!


It may just take me a couple of hours to sign this paper... *snicker* *snort*


Is it a school holiday today? Have you done your homework? Remember to brush your teeth before going to bed. Have you been wetting your bed?


I wonder if they are members of the Sharks. To stop the spread of the gang, someone should shut down their gathering places, don't you think? I've started a group that will stop all of the bad influences on the children of Onett. I call it the "Fresh Breeze Movement". Hum de dum dum...




Let's keep this between you and me.




...LOTTEL! 


You need an appointment before you visit. I'm going to have to stop you if you try to see the Mayor.

Fuck that! Upstairs!


Oh uh


like the Sharks and the meteorite... Hey, are you the guy who's trying to reform the Sharks? Wa ho! Wa ho! Wa ho! You've got to be kidding!


We are brusquely escorted out.

[R^2]

We are accosted by a street punk!

Battle Against a Mobile Opponent: Earthbound Music


Skate Punk, sorry. No, they're not shadowy nightmare-creatures, I just screencapped this one when he was flashing.




That's a better picture.


These guys are worth significantly more than Runaway Dogs or Spiteful Crows.


And they hurt enough that have an excuse to clean out my inventory a bit.








Pogo Punks drop Hamburgers pretty often, saving me from needing to run home quite so much as I beat up the entire gang.








At least, I hope to god it's still fruit juice.


The last of the Sharks gang is the Yes Man Junior. None of them are particularly dangerous, really, so I spend plenty of time beating them up for experience.


The punks do know how to work together, though. If you encounter one, any others in the area will run up to join the melee.


So you may find yourself encountering more than one at a time.


I snuck up behind this guy, so the swirl was green instead of black.


I get a free turn to start off the fight.



Earthbound-Onett's Arcade


Then I knocked his teeth out with a tee ball bat.


Don't get lippy, or I'll kick your butt!

And then I knocked his teeth out with a tee ball bat.


but that doesn't fit my super cool image. I guess I just have to accept this about myself.

A costumed gang member with a personal identity? Wow!


If you get your hands on it, I bet you can stand against any enemy.


Get yer own, twit.


do you bother to actually equip it? Heh eh, I gave a hint to my own enemy... I'm such a rockin' dude! I obviously have total confidence in my own abilities. So... are you ready to get it on, Spanky?

And then I knocked his teeth out with a tee ball bat that I had equipped.


If you say yes, he tells you to come back after you've finished "Earthbound".

Oh, and a thing Skate Punks can do?



Much like in Dragon Quest, they can do this as often as they want, adding a Yes Man Jr.  or a Pogo Punk to the fight. Sometimes it doesn't work.






Pretty rude, Snes.


Rude enough to warrant a fight!

Earthbound Hippie Battle Theme







I didn't see it coming so I didn't screencap it, but SMAAAAASH!!




Oh yeah, you never "kill" anyone in this game. Animals and humans become tame or return to their senses, robots get totally scrapped, undead apparitions vanish into thin air or return to the dust of the earth, and other things are "defeated" -- but nothing dies.








DOUBLE BOSS BATTLE

Harsh, man.

Battle Against an Unsettling Opponent: Earthbound Music



Frankystein Mark II will waste every other turn billowing steam, occasionally throwing a punch that does 14-15 damage. He can also "tear into you" for about 40 damage, but he never did that in this fight.




I know you've been asking around, so I'll tell you about Giant Step. It... seems... to be quite a powerful spot. Some kind of special power is stored there that allows certain people to perform wondrous feats. However, a monster sucked up all the energy at that spot. It's difficult to get to Giant Step. That's all I know... I suggest you collect more information on your own. The entrance to the path leading to Giant Step is behind the touring entertainers' shack. Pirkle, the mayor of Onett, has a key to the shack. Snes,

How did he find out my name?

you've become stronger than I! Your adventure is just beginning...


The Sharks leave you alone, and aren't around for random encounters anymore. Furthermore, Frank is now an extraneous source of full recovery in Onett.

We head home to rest anyway.

[R^2]

Mother 1+2 Soundtrack: Humoresque Of A Little Dog (1080p)


Mayor Pirkle is waiting for you.


Wa ho yourself.




You beat up the town bullies, punched them out big time, kicked their butts, bit their heads off, spit in their eyes, and made them wet their pants. Then you made them promise not to make any more trouble. Thank you!

I did almost none of those things, but okay.

What? You want a key to the touring entertainer's shack? For someone as great as you, giving you the key could help keep the town peaceful. But if you get into a dangerous situation, please don't ask me to take any responsibility. I'll be able to avoid any responsibility, right?

Siiigh. Yes.

You're such a smart kid. Here's the key to the shack.

Welp.









EarthBound - Dangerous Caves [HQ]



Enemies here:

The Rowdy Mouse can attack for 1 damage -- but it has such high Guts that it usually SMAAAAASH!!es you for 10-13 instead.


Attack Slugs are the least dangerous enemies in Giant Step. They attack for piddling damage, and while they attack in groups, they can be defeated with a single hit. They sometimes try Hypnosis alpha, but they start with Unable to Concentrate status, so it fails until that status wears off after five or six turns. And if there are any still alive after five or six turns, you must have been attacked by a really huge group.


Black Antoids can attack for about as much damage as a Rowdy Mouse does in a SMAAAAASH!! Furthermore, they can call for help and use Lifeup alpha to heal. They're easily the most dangerous critters here.

But since enemies regularly attack in groups in Giant Step, the EXP just pours in:







Rockin'.


Attacking in groups is all that makes the enemies here dangerous. If I catch them alone, it's an instant-win.


This is a midlevel rest area -- a magic butterfly almost always spawns here, so you can use Lifeup to restore your HP and then butterfly your PP back. And if you need to grind, the butterfly is almost always here when you come back.


Wonder why they call it Giant Step.


Shortly...




mine now. Take it from me, if you dare...



Sanctuary Guardian: Earthbound Music


Titanic Ant attacks with two Black Antoids as backup. Since they can Lifeup themselves and the boss, taking them out is first priority.




















Neato. Removes Sleep, Sunburn, or a Cold.



EarthBound - A Flash of Memory [HQ]









EarthBound (SNES) Music - Sound Stone Giant Step


Yay.


Any Your Sanctuary location is also a full heal whenever you visit, making this the fourth in Onett, not counting the butterfly spawn locations that let you heal up manually, and the third that's free of charge.


Now that I've beaten the Titanic Ant, all the other critters in Giant Step run away. It makes getting green swirls super-easy.


Assa no good.


Check out the rope leading down. Four other Attack Slugs climbed it as quickly as they could when I greenswirled this guy, but couldn't quite make it to join the fight.


But I can't get in trouble for this, I got they key from the m--

Sigh. Yes.

So you just didn't want to read the sign, huh kid... Get yer butt to the Onett Police Station later!

Well, that was nice of him. I guess he could have arrested me on the spot, but knowing I'm a railroaded RPG hero he knows I can't go anywhere but where he wants me to.


I can go home and rest first, though.

[R^2]

My name is Gufin.

[McDohl]

R2, your screenshots are all messed up.