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Author Topic: I Wanna Be The Army  (Read 3058 times)

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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #40 on: November 15, 2012, 06:13:46 AM »

Nah, I grok that, but in this case you're surrendering your will to assholes.  If you're lucky, they might be competent assholes.
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Classic

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #41 on: November 15, 2012, 08:13:22 AM »

In my case, it's basically recognizing that I enjoy cakes, but don't recognize that I probably do not want to eat a cake shop's worth of cakes from out of a dumpster.
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Friday

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #42 on: November 15, 2012, 11:36:41 AM »

It's pretty rare that someone in the army will be competent. I'm not pissing on the army, either, it's just that it's pretty rare that human beings are competent.

Imagine you're literally at the command of your WoW/whatever guild leader. That's a best case scenario.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #43 on: December 17, 2012, 11:43:28 AM »

Waiting on a call to make sure I'm not immediately disqualified on medical reasons (I can't imagine there's any reason I would be) because evidently no one in the military prior to me has ever heard of Pyloric stenosis.

I was asking one of the recruiters about their quotas and he did finally admit to their numbers, but insisted that other than raw numbers the only factor anyone checks for is if you're a high school senior or not, that the MOS you get put into makes no difference to anyone they have to report to.

It's believable, but could also easily be a lie and really my last concern.

Edit for specification:

I have heard there could be incentive for the recruiters to try and 'motivate you' towards a certain job, but that in the end the available job list is provided and final choice filled out by civilian contractors who have nothing to gain from any choice you make. My specific fear is that if I go for same day testing / physical and get told at the last second "whelp, guess all that's available right now is infantry, so have fun being infantry!"
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Beat Bandit

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #44 on: December 17, 2012, 07:48:23 PM »

So because I am such a totally awesome guy with so many friends...

Would anyone be willing to give me their name, phone number, and address so that I can give it to the government so they can maybe call you and ask if I have murdered anyone in the past seven years?

I've come to the realization that I have lost / cut off contact with anyone not related to me and there aren't even any family friends to speak of because no one in my family knows how to have a friend that they don't end up marrying. Turns out the army isn't big on giving classified information to people that can't prove they don't spend 100% of their time in a shelter plotting against them or something.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2013, 11:16:12 AM »

TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.
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Mongrel

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #46 on: January 10, 2013, 11:21:54 AM »

Haha, wait... really? Oh man, I would love to hear the rationale for this.
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Büge

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #47 on: January 10, 2013, 11:24:44 AM »

What exactly did you have tattooed on your inner lip that got you disqualified?
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Mongrel

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #48 on: January 10, 2013, 11:25:24 AM »

Starr says maybe it's because they think there's a possibility you could have dormant Hepatitis B. The idea is that actually testing for Hep B is expensive, so maybe instead of doing that they just DQ you?

That's apparently what they used to do for a long time with blood donations (If you had a tattoo, you couldn't donate blood at all), up until recently.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #49 on: January 10, 2013, 11:35:41 AM »

Haha, wait... really? Oh man, I would love to hear the rationale for this.
The recruiter didn't seem to actually know but filed it under "any facial tattoo at all" (it is so low down that not only has nobody but the artist seen it, and I forgot about it until I had to take inventory of my tattoos for this.

What exactly did you have tattooed on your inner lip that got you disqualified?

"Gift of the Gab" in Irish Gaelic.
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Mongrel

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #50 on: January 10, 2013, 11:40:14 AM »

Huh. Seems silly, given it's effectively invisible.

One of those "letter of the law, but not the spirit." sort of things.
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François

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #51 on: January 10, 2013, 11:44:39 AM »

First time I ever heard of a tattoo preventing a decision one might regret later instead of being one.  :glee:
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Joxam

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #52 on: January 10, 2013, 12:03:24 PM »

You got in like a year too late, John. Last year the military did a huge make over of their dress code and basically banned anyone from joining that had tattoos anywhere the uniform can't cover up.
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TA

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #53 on: January 10, 2013, 12:07:05 PM »

Huh. Seems silly, given it's effectively invisible.

One of those "letter of the law, but not the spirit." sort of things.

I dunno.  "Has tattoos on their face" bespeaks such a profound failure of judgment and rationality that it makes sense to not spend taxpayer dollars training that person to use guns.
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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #54 on: January 10, 2013, 12:17:08 PM »

TIL: TA doesn't know what a facial tattoo is.
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Shinra

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #55 on: January 10, 2013, 01:54:24 PM »

TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.

You could apply for another branch and just not tell them about the lip tattoo, maybe?

It's been my experience that loosely attached government organizations rarely, if ever, compare notes.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #56 on: January 10, 2013, 02:33:11 PM »

The only reason I even thought hard enough to include it is because I would be legitimately amazed if the physical didn't have some kind of gums check, and that if I didn't report it it would be instant disqualification there.
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TA

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #57 on: January 10, 2013, 02:36:19 PM »

TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.

You could apply for another branch and just not tell them about the lip tattoo, maybe?

It's been my experience that loosely attached government organizations rarely, if ever, compare notes.


That shit's visible every time you talk or eat, and lying on the documents probably means a lot worse than just a rightful disqualification.
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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #58 on: January 10, 2013, 02:47:24 PM »

That shit's visible every time you talk or eat
I'm surprised you even realize those are things you use lips for, what with all the talking out your ass.
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Joxam

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Re: I Wanna Be The Army
« Reply #59 on: January 10, 2013, 03:30:37 PM »

I'm picturing TA eating like Mr. Ed 'talks' now. Seriously though how do you have to eat that the underside of your lip is visible every time you do it?
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