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Author Topic: Quotes  (Read 141548 times)

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patito

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1000 on: January 11, 2012, 05:43:04 PM »

Would be quote worth it if it wasn't a shitty haiku.
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1001 on: January 27, 2012, 09:00:13 AM »

Quote
The plot of the Super Star Wars series is that you are one of the plucky heroes of the trilogy (your choice of which in many levels), and your mission is to kill everything you see.

 Super Star Wars lets you in on the untold secret of the Star Wars universe, the director's cut: Every single creature or robot that is on-screen in a Star Wars movie for even half a second is one among an army of identical creatures that are out to destroy Luke, and they all shoot energy balls, so you'd better harden the fuck up and slaughter them.
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Thad

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1002 on: January 27, 2012, 09:30:49 AM »

Would be quote worth it
if it wasn't a shitty
haiku.
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Esperath

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1003 on: January 27, 2012, 03:32:28 PM »

[15:31]   <Esperath>   A Feast for Cows
[15:31]   <Lee-Ham>   by Gary R. R. Larson
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1004 on: January 29, 2012, 07:33:32 PM »

<zaratoast> I've noticed girls like to wear shirts that say "I Love Nerds" but never want to hear all 45 ways I would have improved the Watchmen movie.
<Brentai> #1: Use Saturday Morning Watchmen instead of Graphic Novel Watchmen as source.
<Brentai> #2: Make Dr. Manhattan's naked blue schlong much larger.  Make Dr. Manhattan a small blue pony.
<Brentai> #3: Instead of replacing it wholesale with a nuke, make massive psychic squid more believable by replacing it with massive amorous squid.
<Brentai> #4: 20 minute fight scene in which Rorschach disables the whole prison with his deep fryer.  At the end he thrusts it into the air triumphantly, spilling the grease in his own face and giving him permanent patterned scars.
<Brentai> #5: Actually show one of The Comedian's stand-up comedy routines.
<Brentai> 6: Night Owl should be massively overweight.  He should also own a video game company.
<Brentai> #7: After being called a prostitute, Ozymandias gasps and says "How did you know?"
<Brentai> #8: Doomsday clock strikes twelve.  Dracula is released from his thousand-year sleep.
<Brentai> #9: After Dr. Manhattan decides to go make some humans, we see him mining for redstone and diamonds.  Later, we see that he has actually made an eternally shitting butt.
<Brentai> #10: Bubastis can talk, but can only say "Bubastis".
<Brentai> #11: We see Dr. Manhattan's first girlfriend, who he DIDN'T figure out couldn't breath in space.
<Dr_Nerd> #12 Bubastis also survives and gets work as the mascot for his own brand of sugary frosted corn starch cereal.  Paparazzi eventually reveals his sordid affair with Count Chocula.
<Brentai> #13: Redesign Silk Spectre's costume.  Add cat ears.
<Dr_Nerd> Tagline for #12's cereal was "THEEEEY'RE VEIDT!"
<Dr_Nerd> (yes it was necessary)
<Brentai>#14: Instead of destroying New York, Ozymandias's plan is to rip off millions of people for small amount of petty cash.  When asked when he's going to do it, he answers "I did it 90 minutes ago."  Film ends immediately.
<Dr_Nerd> #15 Dancing Queen plays over as the soundtrack for the entirety of the movie.  All 2+ hours.
<Brentai> #16: Added subplot where Nicolas Cage discovers codes embedded in Silk Spectre I's Tijuana Bibles that lead to the truth about Abe Lincoln's assassination.  The Comedian did it.
<Brentai> #17: Nite Owl and Dr. Manhattan both discover that The Comedian was also THEIR fathers.
<Brentai> #18: Rorschach reveals the awful truth to the world: That Silk Spectre is a man.  Nite Owl is not sure how he managed to miss that.
<Brentai> #19: The newspaper kid reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off the entire time.
<Ridley> #20: Ozymandias reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off on the newspaper kid the entire time.
Dr_Nerd> #21 Nixon wears a massive sombrero in every scene he's in for some reason
<Shana> #22: Hats feature more prominetly
<Dr_Nerd> #23 Fuck it, everyone gets sombreros.
<Ridley> #23 The truth is revealed that The Comedian was not only the Silk Spectre's father, but her mother as well.  Danny DeVito cameos to explain how.
<Ridley> FUCK YOU
<Dr_Nerd> :)
<Mr_Saturn> #24 Manhattan's dick tripled in size
<Ridley> Brentai did that one.
<Ridley> But better.
<Shana> #26: Everyone gets glowing blue dongs
<Brentai> #27: Redesign Dr. Manhattan's costume.  Add cat ears.
<BongoBill> #28: Set it in Tokyo instead of New York.
<Shana> #29: Darth Vader cameo.
<Shana> #30: Redesign Darth Vader costume. Add cat ears.
<Ridley> #31: And blue glowing dong.
<patito> #32: Psychic squid with blue dong tentacles destroys Tokyo
<Smiler> #33: Goku shows up
<Mr_Saturn> 34 pointless cgi gophers
<Ridley> #35: Someone survives the psychic alien nuke by hiding in a fridge.
<Shana> #36: Motorcycle chase.
<Brentai> #37: Picard and Data must fight a ship that is loose on the holodeck.  Riker finds out The Comedian is his father.
<Dr_Nerd> #38 Moloch has a 10-minute tap-dancing scene with Hooded Justice, wears adorable little tuxedo while doing so.
<Ridley> #39: But still shows off his glowing blue dong.
<Mr_Saturn> #40 Comedian played by reanimated groucho marx
<Brentai> #41: The attempted rape occurs on a pinball table.
<Ridley> #42: and leads to a high score.
<Dr_Nerd> #43 Pinball Wizard plays in the background inappropriately
<Mr_Saturn> 44: a robot hitler
<BongoBill> #45: The aristocrats!
<Roger> THAT'S THE LIST, PLAY ME TO THE DESK
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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1005 on: January 29, 2012, 07:40:08 PM »

FUCK YOU TED I WAS GOING TO POST THAT\.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1006 on: January 29, 2012, 07:46:00 PM »

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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1007 on: January 29, 2012, 11:40:24 PM »

I shared that with a couple friends who pronounced it "The funniest chatlog they'd ever seen".

I'm sure you've all done better, but still, GOOD JOB GUYS.
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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1008 on: January 31, 2012, 01:11:44 AM »

 <SimonTheDigger> !surge Jeanette
[01:11:49am -8] <+Aoko> SURGE: 4967 Target can cause his scent to mimic that of any normal animal
[01:11:55am -8] <SimonTheDigger> !wand Jeanette
[01:11:55am -8] <+Aoko> * SimonTheDigger waves the "SnakeScale 2HSword of Wonder" and points it at Jeanette -  369 Jeanette is teleported to a place SimonTheDigger would consider safe.
[01:12:06am -8] <myew> !Wand mr_saturn's butt -  167 projects image of he-man in front of the sf equivalent.
[01:12:06am -8] <+Aoko> * myew waves the "TuttleRock Helmet of Wonder" and points it at mr_saturn's butt -  750 mr_saturn's butt's stats are reduced to 1 until sunrise.
[01:12:21am -8] <myew> Saturn's tits need some blog hits" "insult a popular game as a whole lot of points for the butt.

I laugh so hard each time myew sets off my triggers.
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MarsDragon

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1009 on: February 01, 2012, 08:37:58 PM »

[21:35] *** Romosome has signed off IRC ().
[21:38] Aoko: You're one year older, one year wiser, rock 'n' roll star, king czar and a kaiser! A room full of friends, a mouth full of cake, every present if for you and it feels pretty great! You're the man of the hour, the V-I-P, you get the first slice, of the P-I-E! But first blow out the candles, and make a wish! Put a smile on, cause it's your birthday, BITCH!
[21:38] Aoko: ...
[21:38] Aoko: DAMMIT ROMO
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Brentai

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1010 on: February 02, 2012, 09:27:46 PM »

Brentai   !haiku for bandwagon
Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: it's clobberin' time / the invading mole people / it's all just a game...
Brentai   ...
Brentai   Wow that
Ridley   that's...
Ridley   that's a bestof.
Ridley   !addbest it's clobberin' time / the invading mole people / it's all just a game...
zaratoast   finally a bestof that is not related to sex in some way
Ridley   they're not ALL related to sex
Ridley   !bestofhaiku
Upthorn   Haiku Masterwork: Hear that Silent Bob? / your vagina is haunted / and it kinda hurts
Brentai   !bestofhaiku
Upthorn   Haiku Masterwork: I heard you were dead / I'm going to hell when I die / I predict buttsex
Ridley   OK fine that's a bad sampling
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Thad

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1011 on: February 03, 2012, 08:01:12 AM »

"I am not that kind of Libertarian, really; I don't hate poor people." - Robert Anton Wilson

Really Boingboing's entire RAW Week is well worth reading.
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1012 on: February 09, 2012, 09:15:32 PM »

<@Romosome> okay
<@Romosome> my mom liked this image on facebook
<@Romosome> http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/406494_10151259451420089_647070088_22954594_589060165_n.jpg
<@Romosome> I am sorely tempted to comment on it with "WOMEN don't know how Bluetooth and Wifi work"
* Meikai hits romo
<Ted> Haha
<Meikai> Also, why aren't you my facebook friend, Homo
<@Romosome> I don't really use facebook like
<@Romosome> a ton
<@Romosome> only when I am being bored and useless and to talk with friends
<+BongoBill> Romosome is the joke that the person who made this doesn't actually understand the technology in question, or is the joke that I'm a big dork for saying that
* @Friday scans all users of #finalfight
* @Friday connects to ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ... myew.
<@Romosome> Bill: no that's my point
<@Friday> Romo stop using facebook it is for women and gays
<@Romosome> Friday how else am I going to keep track of the women and gays in my life
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1013 on: February 10, 2012, 01:30:32 AM »

<Stush> I watched a 4 player LP of battletoads.
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> i beat iwbtg and i still cannot fucking hate myself enough to try beating battletoads
<Stush> The death counters were at like 252-450
<Stush> Battletoads looks like a terrible game.
<@Friday> Stush: me too!
<Stush> I wouldn't get past the first screen.
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> i'd rather have a leather clad friday stomp on my balls
<Stush> Why did people play it!
<rainwarrior> Battletoads is a wondereful game.
<Stush> It's a terrible looking game.
<Stush> By looking I don't mean the graphics
<rainwarrior> I played it because it looked like Ninja Turtles.
<Stush> I mean, it looks like it isn't fun at all.
<sede> Stush would beat the first 3 levels easy!
<rainwarrior> Now I play it because I love the gameplay.
<Stush> Can I like, bust through the bric65ks adasdkaaa6fra
<Stush> 77777777Kitty on keybaoel
<Stush> 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
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Mothra

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1014 on: February 10, 2012, 11:42:00 AM »

Quote
<bionicfen|atwork> we have a new inspector starting in a couple of weeks name is Joe Falcon.
<bionicfen|atwork> bullshit you don't get to work in aviation and be named JOE FALCON
<bionicfen|atwork> HI I'M THE NEW MECHANIC, BILLY THRUSTERS
<feem> has he ever been the pilot of an aircraft
<feem> or perhaps served in the military
<feem> and been referred to as
<feem> captain
<bionicfen|atwork> oshit
<feem> has he ever worked in a machine shop
<feem> and operated the pneumatic punch
<feem> or perhaps worked with brass-tipped nail punches
<feem> or perhaps gone in the rain with a poncho
<feem> or possibly developed a beer belly
<feem> aka a paunch
<feem> these should be interview questions
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Thad

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1015 on: February 10, 2012, 12:54:16 PM »

Public Hanging for those who propose public hanging

Responsible department: Ministry of Justice

When God said in the Bible "a noose for a noose" He was right. For too long sick perverts have been getting away with proposing public hanging in the UK. We say enough. The proposed punishments for some crimes are so horrific that the proper punishment for proposing this punishment is the death penalty. After all, with all that DNA science we now have, we can always prove all the time who has proposed a punishment for a crime, and then propose punishing them appropriately. So, Government, will you ConDem us to more Brussels non-justice? Or will you finally publicly hang anyone who proposes public hanging for any crime? We propose this.

via
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Zaratustra

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1016 on: February 10, 2012, 01:24:54 PM »

So uh
if this petition passes
do they have to hang everyone that signed

Brentai

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1017 on: February 16, 2012, 07:42:10 PM »

Friday   I really like Lolo
Friday   a lot
Friday   In fact you could say
Friday   I'm
Friday   shades
Lee-Ham   a lolocon
Friday   DAMN IT
Aoko   YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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patito

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1018 on: February 17, 2012, 11:39:24 PM »

<Lee-Ham> my rigid collision physics are interacting with your softbody calculations
<Lee-Ham> I like the way you're rigged, baby
<Lee-Ham> take off that cloth deformation mesh and let me see your normals
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1019 on: February 18, 2012, 06:06:34 PM »

<Stush> I am worried martha might have something in her eye
<Stush> Is there anything I can do about that?
<Stush> Or will it just fix itself?
* Romosome (~X@cpe-75-82-37-85.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #finalfight
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Romosome
<Mr_Saturn> Martha is a Cat or Dog?
<Mr_Saturn> I don't remember
<Stush> Cat
<Roger> And Tish is a Wife

Oh, Romo. The gift that keeps on giving. (Original quote below for those of you who don't remember)

<Sqbedzle> Oh god. :(
<Friday> ?
<Sqbedzle> Tiff started vomiting all of a sudden. She's back to sleep now, but now I'm wide awake and worrying.
<Romosome> if she went back to sleep and is breathing normally she's probably fine
<Romosome> dogs do puke a lot
<Sqbedzle> She was like "My stomach feels kind of funny", then two minutes later, vomit. The five minutes after that. Then ten or so minutes after that.
<Romosome> oh
<Romosome> Tiff isn't a dog?
<Romosome> I don't know who Tiff is.
<Romosome> I'm sorry.
<Sqbedzle> She's my girlfriend/de facto fiancee. It's cool.
<Niku> ....
<Roger> Tiff is Squizzle's lovemuffin
<Romosome> thanks, terribly embarassed.
<Niku> romo just had some epic win
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