<zaratoast> I've noticed girls like to wear shirts that say "I Love Nerds" but never want to hear all 45 ways I would have improved the Watchmen movie.
<Brentai> #1: Use Saturday Morning Watchmen instead of Graphic Novel Watchmen as source.
<Brentai> #2: Make Dr. Manhattan's naked blue schlong much larger. Make Dr. Manhattan a small blue pony.
<Brentai> #3: Instead of replacing it wholesale with a nuke, make massive psychic squid more believable by replacing it with massive amorous squid.
<Brentai> #4: 20 minute fight scene in which Rorschach disables the whole prison with his deep fryer. At the end he thrusts it into the air triumphantly, spilling the grease in his own face and giving him permanent patterned scars.
<Brentai> #5: Actually show one of The Comedian's stand-up comedy routines.
<Brentai> 6: Night Owl should be massively overweight. He should also own a video game company.
<Brentai> #7: After being called a prostitute, Ozymandias gasps and says "How did you know?"
<Brentai> #8: Doomsday clock strikes twelve. Dracula is released from his thousand-year sleep.
<Brentai> #9: After Dr. Manhattan decides to go make some humans, we see him mining for redstone and diamonds. Later, we see that he has actually made an eternally shitting butt.
<Brentai> #10: Bubastis can talk, but can only say "Bubastis".
<Brentai> #11: We see Dr. Manhattan's first girlfriend, who he DIDN'T figure out couldn't breath in space.
<Dr_Nerd> #12 Bubastis also survives and gets work as the mascot for his own brand of sugary frosted corn starch cereal. Paparazzi eventually reveals his sordid affair with Count Chocula.
<Brentai> #13: Redesign Silk Spectre's costume. Add cat ears.
<Dr_Nerd> Tagline for #12's cereal was "THEEEEY'RE VEIDT!"
<Dr_Nerd> (yes it was necessary)
<Brentai>#14: Instead of destroying New York, Ozymandias's plan is to rip off millions of people for small amount of petty cash. When asked when he's going to do it, he answers "I did it 90 minutes ago." Film ends immediately.
<Dr_Nerd> #15 Dancing Queen plays over as the soundtrack for the entirety of the movie. All 2+ hours.
<Brentai> #16: Added subplot where Nicolas Cage discovers codes embedded in Silk Spectre I's Tijuana Bibles that lead to the truth about Abe Lincoln's assassination. The Comedian did it.
<Brentai> #17: Nite Owl and Dr. Manhattan both discover that The Comedian was also THEIR fathers.
<Brentai> #18: Rorschach reveals the awful truth to the world: That Silk Spectre is a man. Nite Owl is not sure how he managed to miss that.
<Brentai> #19: The newspaper kid reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off the entire time.
<Ridley> #20: Ozymandias reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off on the newspaper kid the entire time.
Dr_Nerd> #21 Nixon wears a massive sombrero in every scene he's in for some reason
<Shana> #22: Hats feature more prominetly
<Dr_Nerd> #23 Fuck it, everyone gets sombreros.
<Ridley> #23 The truth is revealed that The Comedian was not only the Silk Spectre's father, but her mother as well. Danny DeVito cameos to explain how.
<Ridley> FUCK YOU
<Dr_Nerd> :)
<Mr_Saturn> #24 Manhattan's dick tripled in size
<Ridley> Brentai did that one.
<Ridley> But better.
<Shana> #26: Everyone gets glowing blue dongs
<Brentai> #27: Redesign Dr. Manhattan's costume. Add cat ears.
<BongoBill> #28: Set it in Tokyo instead of New York.
<Shana> #29: Darth Vader cameo.
<Shana> #30: Redesign Darth Vader costume. Add cat ears.
<Ridley> #31: And blue glowing dong.
<patito> #32: Psychic squid with blue dong tentacles destroys Tokyo
<Smiler> #33: Goku shows up
<Mr_Saturn> 34 pointless cgi gophers
<Ridley> #35: Someone survives the psychic alien nuke by hiding in a fridge.
<Shana> #36: Motorcycle chase.
<Brentai> #37: Picard and Data must fight a ship that is loose on the holodeck. Riker finds out The Comedian is his father.
<Dr_Nerd> #38 Moloch has a 10-minute tap-dancing scene with Hooded Justice, wears adorable little tuxedo while doing so.
<Ridley> #39: But still shows off his glowing blue dong.
<Mr_Saturn> #40 Comedian played by reanimated groucho marx
<Brentai> #41: The attempted rape occurs on a pinball table.
<Ridley> #42: and leads to a high score.
<Dr_Nerd> #43 Pinball Wizard plays in the background inappropriately
<Mr_Saturn> 44: a robot hitler
<BongoBill> #45: The aristocrats!
<Roger> THAT'S THE LIST, PLAY ME TO THE DESK