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Author Topic: Quotes  (Read 119791 times)

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R^2

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1160 on: August 16, 2012, 06:57:32 PM »

I can't take credit, it's the alt text for page 1 of the current Oglaf.
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1161 on: August 16, 2012, 07:34:01 PM »

Wait... alt text?
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BŁge

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1162 on: August 16, 2012, 07:37:22 PM »

Yeah. You hold the mouse cursor over the image and it displays text.

There's also extra-secret alt text you can find by looking at the page's code.
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R^2

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1163 on: August 17, 2012, 05:04:05 AM »

Wait... Secret alt text?
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R^2

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1164 on: August 17, 2012, 01:58:57 PM »

R^2 Heh heh. Nothing quite like finding a nymph corpse and a pile of stolen goods on top of the trigger to a rolling boulder trap. Serves her right.
LaserBeing she's a little flatter than you'd expect for a nymph
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1165 on: August 18, 2012, 07:43:08 PM »

A story from an Australian fellow I know:

Quote
Check this out. When I got back from the US/Mexico last year we had all sorts of strange shit in the cases. I had cammo gear, a functional NBC mask and a couple of shrunken heads (they make em out of goats apparently). My mate had most of that list, a gieger counter and these things called radioactive marbles as well. On top of all that I was carrying a massive set of blueprints for a tital II nuclear missile silo because I didnt want to fold them.

Get to a Doreen in customs at Brisbane airport. "Whats that?" she says pointing to my blueprints. "It's blueprints for a titan II nuclear missile silo" I says.

"No, what is it really?" Doreen responds. "Fair dinkum, it really is blueprints for a nuke silo, look I even got this neat card that says I turned the key!" and show her my I turned the key on the 15th of sept card and unravel the blueprints and show her those as well.

Doreen is pretty impressed and a little weirded out all at the same time. She must of been because she never even mentioned the shrunken heads. Anyways thats customs sorted I thinks and hurry off to catch my connceting flight out of cane toad country.

About a minute later I see Doreen setting a new land speed record in my direction yelling "sir! sir!"

FMR here we go, all my cool stuff is going to get confiscated and I am going to miss my connection because I will be cuffed to a chair answering difficult questions about my strange holiday. Then I notice she is waving my blueprints as I had forgot to grab them back off her.

"SIR YOU FORGOT TO GRAB YOUR NUCLEAR BOMB PLANS!" Doreen yells in a voice loud enough to wake a sleeping god.

I swear the airport went dead silent for about 5 seconds as every passenger digests Doreens relevations.

Needless to say I followed the golden rule and acted very casual in the face of extreme weirdness and thanked Doreen for making sure I didn't lose them on the home run. Then turn around to find Big Al my travelling companion giving me one of his laser beam looks...

Thus i can assure you anything up to and including blueprints for a nuclear bomb is not going to raise eyebrows at Brisbane international airport.
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1166 on: August 18, 2012, 10:57:43 PM »

<JDigital> If someone told me ten years ago that I'd be watching a live broadcast of a little Japanese girl playing Minecraft, I'd have said, "What's Minecraft?"
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LaserBeing

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1167 on: August 21, 2012, 01:50:40 PM »

[14:59] <@Silversong> !haiku for rats
[14:59] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: You're already dead / today is the day i die / Elderly couples
[15:00] <MetalSlime> :o
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> wow
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> downer
[15:00] <@Silversong> sry
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> !addbest You're already dead / today is the day i die / Elderly couples
[15:00] -Upthorn- This haiku will be sung throughout the ages
[15:00] <@Silversong> !haiku more cheerful
[15:00] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: You will rue the day / not when you have depression / i purchased a gun
[15:01] <Lee-Ham> hahaha
[15:01] <@Silversong> I GIVE UP
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1168 on: August 21, 2012, 07:46:58 PM »

Quote
<SimonTheDigger> Now you've got me wondering about things.
<SimonTheDigger> like "What would cisportation be?"
<Mr_Saturn> SimonTheDigger when you get off at the same place you got on

I laughed.
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1169 on: August 22, 2012, 06:13:02 PM »

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Thad

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1170 on: August 22, 2012, 08:06:36 PM »

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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1171 on: August 28, 2012, 04:41:10 PM »

<R^2> After the woodland-nymph stole Magicbane, Lee-Ham went to look for her. Instead he was eaten by a crocodile.
<+Ridley> Can I have a go now?
<+Ridley> As a sexy human female rogue?
<R^2> Ridley the aforementioned kind of rogue. Name your dog.
<+Ridley> Snarktooth.
<@Cait> Ridley the Rouge.
<R^2> Drop short sword, drop five of six daggers, name dagger, name dagger again so it's different from the ones on the floor, pick up daggers, quiver daggers for throwing, adjust sack to (b) and lockpick to [k].
<R^2> Rogues take a lot of fiddling around to start your game.
<+Ridley> hmmm
<R^2> Ridley sexily, humanly, and rogueishly steals some food and protective gear from a shop.
<+Ridley> tee hee.
<R^2> Slash! Stab! Two hits from a hobbit and Ridley goes from full HP to 0. I'm not saying the hobbit was carrying Grayswandir, but shit.
<+Ridley> god damn hobbits
<R^2> Looks like Ridley was finally done in by his own
* R^2 shades
<R^2> bad hobbits.
<+Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
<+Ridley> I hate you.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1172 on: August 28, 2012, 06:15:33 PM »

I love you.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1173 on: September 01, 2012, 04:58:17 PM »

<R^2> Hehehe.
<R^2> I didn't notice.
<R^2> Brentai started with a Silversong corpse in his inventory. :3c
<Brentai> d_d b_b
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R^2

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1174 on: September 01, 2012, 05:13:44 PM »

A few minutes later:

R^2 Hey look, Oracle level spawns a lot of shitty monsters that eat another character. Imagine that. (It was a wererat, and Brentai had no scrolls of taming.)
Brentai I ate my Silversong corpse before the rats could get to it, right?
R^2 Of course.
R^2 "Ate."
Brentai Perfect.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1175 on: September 03, 2012, 01:01:20 PM »

<Cait> You don't really -need- to cart around the spellbooks, by the time they get stale you're probably set for cash or don't need the spell any more.
<TedBelmont> Spellbooks get stale?
<Cait> You forget a spell after 10,000 turns, give or take.
<Cait> Oh, 20,000.
<TedBelmont> So I guess you could say they have a...
TedBelmont shades
<TedBelmont> Spell-by date.
<Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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Kazz

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1176 on: September 05, 2012, 09:21:14 PM »

[1:29] <GauHelldragon> upthorn please stop making CSI spinoffs
[1:29] <GauHelldragon> i know you're the one who is making all of them
[1:30] <+Esperath> you might say that he's
[1:30] * +Esperath shades
[1:31] <+Esperath> the upthorn in your side
[1:31] <+Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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Joxam

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1177 on: September 05, 2012, 11:21:25 PM »

<Elfin> I'm just running a bath.
<Stush> Can I join you, elfin?
<Elfin> Let's do it.
<Stush> It would be the manliest bath
<Elfin> So much hair.
<Stush> Ladies would hear that bath coming from kilometers away, and they'd melt.
<Stush> Just melt into a pile of bones
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1178 on: September 06, 2012, 05:48:48 AM »

[08:54] <+Kazz> all i want
[08:54] <+Kazz> is an autographed picture
[08:54] <+Kazz> of bill clinton's penis in my mouth
[08:54] <+Esperath> autographed by bill clinton's penis?
[08:55] <+Smiler> could you prove that this penis in your mouth is bill clinton's?
[08:55] <+Kazz> i'd prefer if he was giving the camera a thumbs-up
[08:55] <+Esperath> I did not have sexual relations with Kazz's mouth
[08:55] <+Smiler> his penis giving a thumbs up?
[08:55] <+Kazz> do you people even know what a penis is
[08:55] <+Kazz> jeez
[08:56] <+Esperath> a penis is a reflective shield used to prevent rockets from burning up on atmospheric re-entry
[08:57] <+Ridley> no, no it isn't
[08:57] <Stush> A penis is basically a butt.
[08:57] <Stush> But it's on your front
[08:57] <Stush> And it's shaped different and works differently
[08:58] <+Esperath> a penis is a glorified door-knocker
[08:58] <+Kazz> oh my god
[08:58] <+Kazz> none of you know what a penis is
[08:58] <+Esperath> KNOCK KNOCK
[08:59] * +Kazz jumps off a cliff
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Classic

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1179 on: September 06, 2012, 09:10:41 PM »

I know it's not quite appropriate but...
Damn, I haven't had sushi in like forever

What are some good sushi places around Toronto, Mongrel?
I know a place. Really good for the value. We can go sometime.

...also you can just walk over here and ask me.  :advice:
Yeah, but your door was closed and I didn't want to bother you.  :nyoro~n:

Consider this a karma.

Man, if I had a karma for every time I've had this exchange with Roast Beef.
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