Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Bongo Bill]

"Up" is part of the verb, not the preposition.

[R^2]

You know what's fun? Arbitrarily assigning the rules from Latin to a Germanic language.

[Zaratustra]

I'll arbitrarily assign the rules of your ass to your face

[R^2]

Just so long as you don't split infinitives to do it. It's against the rules.

[Ted Belmont]

[Mongrel]

[16:13] <feingersh> idgi why do the washington redskins get more flak for their logo than the cleveland indians. have you even seen the indians logo
[16:13] <smh`> they are both bad
[16:14] <smh`> and should be abolished
[16:14] <feingersh> yeah the name is not all that great, but the logo is fine
[16:14] <revo> feingersh i mean those are bad
[16:14] <smh`> they should just rebrand those teams
[16:14] <revo> but not quite as bad as the AA baseball team, the Alabama Coonfaggots
[16:14] <smh`> theres no excuse
[16:14] <revo> we've been the coonfaggots for years
[16:14] <smh`> even the braves
[16:14] <revo> it was from a different era
[16:14] <smh`> so that people will stop doing the racist tomahawk chop thing
[16:15] <revo> that would be a good onion article
[16:15] <revo> coonfaggot administration overrules name change
[16:15] <feingersh> it has to have been done
[16:15] <revo> what would the logo be
[16:16] <revo> "when the coonfaggots were founded in 1931, there was nothing politically incorrect about it"
[16:16] <revo> "who knows what modern team names will be unacceptable even 10 years from now!"
[16:17] <revo> the owner cited other controversial teams such as the Georgia Wetbacks and the San Diego Crippled Retards
[16:17] <smh`> they took a long time to realize the washington bullets was an unfortunate name though
[16:18] <smh`> so i dont have high hopes

[Mongrel]

From a wargaming board:

<Sgallagher> [Trying to find a suitable "Damsel in distress" figure for a particular pulp scenario]
<Sgallagher> Went on to search every miniature site in uk.
<Sgallagher> Found some lesbian vampires by ground zero and other interesting figures but no pith helmet girl in lingerie !!
<PistolPete> sounds like a head swap conversion is in your future.
<Sgallagher> Lol yes I think u r right
<NickNascati> Okay, just how does one sculpt a "lesbian" vampire??
<surixurient> Perhaps by giving her a mullet
<mikedemana> ...and comfortable shoes...
<PistolPete> i thought all female vampires were lesbians.

I almost pissed myself laughing at the mullet line.

EDIT: Just so it's clear, I am not laughing with them.

[Friday]

<PistolPete> i thought all female vampires were lesbians.

actually this is a really interesting point about how we view female sexuality currently

I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about but since this is sort of my hobbyhorse, being bi and all, I'm gonna type it anyway and you can just stop reading now because you are all smart people and you know exactly what I'm about to say trust me

so a nice girl is turned into a vampire and BAM bisexual/lesbian right?

now to be fair, male vampires are also depicted as being gay/bi a lot of the time (especially if they're being written by Rice) but by faaaaaaaaaar you see it more often in chicks

so this great, virgin girl who's about the marry her highschool sweetheart gets turned and SUDDENLY NONSTOP FUCKING, LESBIAN FUCKING, DICKS DICKS DICKS, PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY, HOLY SHIT TIGHT LEATHER PANTS AND MASSIVE EYE MAKEUP

cause being turned means you lose your soul, right? so now it's just the bodies urges that take over.

Male Vamps become these power obsessed "players" and girls just fuck literally anything constantly.

of course, it IS also true (or at least studies have shown) that

A: girls are more subject to social views shaping their sexuality
B: girls tend to be more open to/experimental homosexual behavior than men in general (perhaps because this is how social views have shaped them over the last 100 years or so I DON'T KNOW)

but still it's interesting that male writers tend to believe that there is a depraved bisexual nymphomaniac lurking under the soul of every woman, their holy spirit barely holding it back like a tiger (rowr) in a cage

or maybe they just are horny and they think hot lesbian tight leather vampire goths are fuckin' sexy and rad

but let's be honest

it's both

[Zaratustra]

all vampires love girls because they're easier on the teeth

[Ted Belmont]

It's been a while since I read it but IIRC the theme of Dracula was basically "FEMALE SEXUALITY = SCARY".

[Brentai]

Thing is the female vampires in Dracula were all very straight, and seemed to have a thing for children.

The whole vampire=lesbian thing probably traces more directly to Carmilla, where you could practically do a global replace on the two words and not change the story at all.

[Mongrel]

And then they added this jaw-dropper later:

"that time of the month" has an altogether happier meaning for female vampires

(That guy lives up to his username).

[Friday]

pfft, we all know that a female vampire's uterus is present, but non-functional

like your mom

cause we're old now and our moms have gone through menopause

[Zaratustra]

joke's on you, my mother has no uterus anymore

[Brentai]

<Screwface> !add5 Let's not make this weird
<Upth> Haiku Novicework: This was a triumph / faceless, masturbating clowns / Let's not make this weird
<Screwface> it got weird :(

[Mongrel]

I just nearly swallowed a fly (much like the old woman, except I didn't follow it with a menagerie of increasingly unlikely snacks).

I went for a run (I know, I know, sad middle age crisis going on I think) and a fly flew right into my gob. I choked and spluttered on the damn thing and only managed to cough it up into my sinus. I could feel it buzzing and wriggling and I was completely unable to either snort it back or blast it out. I just had to put up with it and keep running as best I could until I could reach the safety of some double-ply tissue and running water, where I could really go to town on it.

Eventually, it slid back down my throat and I was able to hawk it out noisily into some unfortunate brambles (I hope no-one goes blackberry picking there later).

Most unpleasant.

[Mongrel]

http://imgur.com/gallery/L2HRc

Holy shit.

[Mongrel]

The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that ... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,' a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Amazing.

[Friday]

<Brentai> I keep reading the Terraria topic subtitle as "Now with Consent".
<+Kazz> it was not a good place to be before.

[Mongrel]

I was talking about the bechdel test this morning and I realized that most anime, even the trashiest half naked ones, pass the shit out of it.