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Discussion Boards => Real Life => Topic started by: Beat Bandit on August 27, 2012, 07:01:41 PM

Title: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 27, 2012, 07:01:41 PM
Okay more like the marines. They get the better close combat training and seem to be at least a bit less likely to be canon fodder. The thing is, this seems like one of those decisions that can never not be made rashly no matter how much you think about it. I also think I've basically already completely decided but still need to make some words about it to make sure I'm not totally delusional.

It's not that I'm secretly super patriotic or a warmonger or anything like that. I've had a ton of different jobs almost all in different fields covering all sorts of different activities and it's recently come to my attention that I could not give less than a shit about the skills I would have to master and work I would have to perform for basically any of them. Unfortunately 'social and economic pariah' isn't the most consistent career and anything else requires like, commitment and stuff. I can't stand in a store, sit behind a computer, fix an air conditioner, sell drugs, wash dishes, drive things, talk to people, care for animals or build / destroy or move various inanimate objects around and really but my heart and soul into it. It is all just invariably about making enough money to continue trying to enjoy myself when not working. That never really ends up working out anyhow.

I am totally okay with being paid to receive training in totally actually relevant life skills. Those being not dying and helping others not die. The world is a really terrible place and I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Fuck this gay earth. All that stuff. Unfortunately since space rocket technology will only let me escape the atmosphere for a little while before horrible death or reentry my choices are a bit limited. Instead of staying somewhere that seems to be actively trying to fuck itself into oblivion maybe I could do something better.

I spend most of my time interacting with people in some kind of competitive fashion. The only real moments of focus and clarity are preparing for or the moment of facing off against others. I'm also that kind of asshole who romanticizes the post-apocalyptic scenario because I think I'd be pretty okay comparatively if I survive the initial cataclysm. So anyway, this is really the chance to test it. Spend a few years of my life trying to be great at survival and either walk away a success or don't walk away a failure.

This is where we get into the hot and heavy delusion. Career paths are not something I've ever been able to see. At most a position lead to the promise of a slightly different position with a little more money. AKA: not things I care about. Where as if I did actually find enough success as a soldier to keep going with it past a first few bullets that is some shit you can actually make a difference with. There is never not some kind of atrocity happening somewhere in the world, and all the people suffering need help. Not just a seven samurai grandeur fighting off an army of bandits, but real help. The basics of helping get supplies or aid of some sort is pretty realistic goal and having more training than the people that don't want those things to happen seems like a good plan.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 27, 2012, 07:10:17 PM
Well, on the plus side, there's no giant hot wars going on right now. True they might ship you to Afghanistan, but that's about it for at least another 3-5 years or so (watch me eat those words...).

Anyway, we actually have a lot of real vets on the boards though that almost never gets mentioned, so at least it's a fair question to ask here.

As long as you don't have some kind of problem with authority, I think it can work out. If you do, it may not be the best idea. You've established that you're not overly put out at the idea of being shot at, so assuming you're (relatively) fit, everything else is pretty much secondary to the authority thing.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: James Edward Smith on August 27, 2012, 07:14:01 PM
It's always baffled me why people who have a hard time or don't like living in the safe and secure, easy as shit to live in society we have today, think that they would be BETTER off if all our safety nets and cooperative assistance were taken away.

In the apocalypse you would be tired and too lazy or too stupid to prepare enough to survive for very long in any amount of comfort. Plus some less antisocial people would probaby gang up and kill you at some point.

I guess the grass really is ALWAYS greener for some people.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 27, 2012, 08:01:25 PM
A longing for an apocalypse goes back way past modern society, that shit goes back to the beginning of human society. Some people just want to etc. etc. Or rather, they have an inflated idea of how they'd fare in such a world and think things like "Man if all this social kruft was gone and you had to rely on raw brains and fists to survive, I'd bet I'd be the hero/I'd be so much better off!"

I mean, instead of trying to help fixing the intractable problems of society that probably won't be fixed anyway until our next cycle of self-immolation, it's a lot easier to fantasize about blowing it all up. With a bonus side of "I get to play Doom IRL" in the case of zombie apocalypses.

In reality, an apocalypse will either be partial, in which case you can expect total brutalization by those who survive more or less intact (military dictatorship, foreign conquests, etc.), or total (or near-total), in which case you can forget about using cars, machinery, or guns for very long if at all, minor injuries once again become fatal, and starvation will become a very near and desperate thing, canned goods or not.

But I don't blame people for this attitude too much. The appeal is too strong, too deep, and has a long, stubbornly proud tradition. And once in a while gives us cool shit like Mad Max movies.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on August 27, 2012, 08:35:42 PM
Life in the military is shit.  At best, it is boring as fuck.  At worst, well, dieing isn't the worst that could happen, but it's up there.  I'm sorry, but you have to be ignorant or delusional to want to be in the military as things are currently.

I'm ex-army, so I'm not talking out of my ass, here.  Unfortunately, you can't really know how much of a fool you're being until you are actually in the military.  And not just basic training, since that's kinda exciting as well as miserable, but actual military life.  It's the worst kind of office politics, petty egos, and mindless bullshit, plus you can't quit.

Seriously, do your self a favor, and explore ANY other options you have.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Misha on August 27, 2012, 09:10:39 PM
You can do way better with way less bullshit by becoming an EMT, or something of that nature, if you want to actually help people.

"The basics of helping get supplies or aid of some sort is pretty realistic goal and having more training than the people that don't want those things to happen seems like a good plan."

You can also join any number of organizations like the peace corps to do this sort of thing far more effectively than spending 6 months learning to kill and then however many years doing it.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Thad on August 27, 2012, 09:24:15 PM
You can do way better with way less bullshit by becoming an EMT, or something of that nature, if you want to actually help people.

Peace Corps's good too.  Red Cross, Amnesty, UNICEF, Doctors Without Borders -- hell, Habitat for Humanity exercises some pretty valuable damn life skills.  There are lots and lots of orgs that can put you right in the middle of a messy damn situation and give you the opportunity to show what you're made of and really help people.

Hell, I worked for a local hospice last year and felt pretty good about it.  I was about as far removed from the action as could be -- I was setting up laptops for doctors and nurses to take out into the field -- but it's still one of probably only two gigs I've ever had where I really felt like I was part of something that was improving the human condition in some way.

I'm not much for the whole violence thing.  But regardless of where you land, best of luck and be safe.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Brentai on August 27, 2012, 10:51:43 PM
I've got an uncle who served a couple tours in Afghanistan.  He basically sits in a tent with fuck-all to do all day.  He's okay with this because that's more or less what he does in America, too, but the point is that even in a conflict zone you can expect to be brutally stripped of this delusion that anything at all interesting is going to happen for more than a few minutes here and there.

That's being a soldier, though.  If for some reason you're really attracted to the idea of being attached to the USAF, they've got plenty of jobs that involve actually working on and building things.  Especially the Navy.  The Navy will be happy to take in anyone who's got any sort of tech skill.  I don't know about in the current economy, but, well, they certainly aren't operating under a tighter budget.

As far as post-apocalyptic scenarios go: If you want to be perfectly realistic about them, then chances are you will die in, you know, the actual apocalypse.  Considering the setup at all involves imagining yourself to be somewhat charmed.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Classic on August 28, 2012, 03:20:47 AM
Those of us who are charmed will appreciate whatever caches of stuff you leave unguarded and undestroyed though.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on August 28, 2012, 03:31:14 AM
Can't have a proper Fallout experience without random caches of food, water, expired prescription drugs, internet porn, etc...
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Niku on August 28, 2012, 03:55:41 AM
All the places Misha and Thad mentioned are good alternatives.  My brother was an EMT for a while and has been a volunteer firefighter in addition to his day job for going on twelve years now and it's been nothing but good things for him.  Sometimes harrowing, sometimes dangerous, and it's left him with some memories he'd probably prefer not to have, but on the whole it's made him feel great about his place in the world and given him a real purpose beyond just the daily grind of punching a clock every day.  He's got the training to help people while having the steady paycheck of a "normal" job.  My niece, his daughter, is military now as of about two years ago and she basically hates it, but I honestly haven't picked her brain enough to know what she hates about it.  I just know she's getting out of dodge as soon as her tour in Korea is over, though her husband is career so she'll be going wherever he gets deployed next.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 28, 2012, 04:38:19 AM
Maybe I phrased that bit poorly but I don't actually expect to do any good in the army. In fact the way things go I'd be pretty happy if not somehow directly involved with civilian casualties.

It really is about the training for me. The ability to physically defend yourself beyond being big and good at punching people is something I've come to realize I not only respect but really admire. The post-apocalypse reference was trying to suggest I understand that it is stupid to think anyone anywhere would be better off in any way except maybe the ones really into cannibalism or rape. Guns are really dangerous, kids can kill a whole bunch of people with them and kids suck. The thing is that training and, you know, actual act of ever handling a weapon or being near other people with them is pretty horrible in more ways than just the obvious. The only skill set I can see myself really being driven to master, either. It is seriously the brassest of tacks to be able to defend yourself and others from threat of death.

That's where I'm worried the crazy might be coming in. I could reasonably live a life where conflict of this level will probably never be imposed on me. Buuuuut I don't think I want to. Avoiding any talk about the conspiracy or craziness in the homeland, there's some pretty horrible shit happening all over the place in the world. The one delusion I do not have is that as one person I could make a significant difference, but I am pretty convinced I could still end up doing more good than bad.

EMT is definitely a good way to actively help people close to home, but I've heard enough second-hand horror stories about the insane shifts and drug addictions that come with it that it's pretty hard to consider it a choice. Especially since it is still a a permanent job. Military life I expect to be horrible for all the standard job reasons on top of all the armed forces reasons, but I don't plan to ever make a life of it. I see it as about four years of work in exchange for something that in the grand scheme is an incredibly useful tool.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Doom on August 28, 2012, 06:14:33 AM
If there's only one line you read in my post, read this next one:

You seem to be under an incredible amount of delusions and confusion. You desperately need to talk to some veterans or someone who has shared your feelings(or similar) and can help you understand them. Off the top of my head, $10 to join Something Awful and hang around in Goon Platoon would get you infinitely more practical information than that $10 is worth, especially compared to 4 years of something you already sound like you'll hate.

Okay more like the marines. They get the better close combat training and seem to be at least a bit less likely to be canon fodder. The thing is, this seems like one of those decisions that can never not be made rashly no matter how much you think about it. I also think I've basically already completely decided but still need to make some words about it to make sure I'm not totally delusional.

It's not that I'm secretly super patriotic or a warmonger or anything like that.

You got a fine head of delusional worked up already far as I can tell.

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I've had a ton of different jobs almost all in different fields covering all sorts of different activities and it's recently come to my attention that I could not give less than a shit about the skills I would have to master and work I would have to perform for basically any of them. Unfortunately 'social and economic pariah' isn't the most consistent career and anything else requires like, commitment and stuff. I can't stand in a store, sit behind a computer, fix an air conditioner, sell drugs, wash dishes, drive things, talk to people, care for animals or build / destroy or move various inanimate objects around and really but my heart and soul into it. It is all just invariably about making enough money to continue trying to enjoy myself when not working. That never really ends up working out anyhow.

I'm pretty sure that whatever branch of the military you enter, you're going to end up doing things like this except you'll be even more uncomfortable while doing it. It seems a bit naive to think that you're going to engage in 24/7 HOO-AAAAAAAAAH hardcore training. Wouldn't it be more likely that you go through your training for several weeks and them boom, here's your job, do it?

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I am totally okay with being paid to receive training in totally actually relevant life skills. Those being not dying and helping others not die. The world is a really terrible place and I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Fuck this gay earth. All that stuff. Unfortunately since space rocket technology will only let me escape the atmosphere for a little while before horrible death or reentry my choices are a bit limited. Instead of staying somewhere that seems to be actively trying to fuck itself into oblivion maybe I could do something better.

Not delusional at all. But to try to soften the blow here, why do you need to join the Marines to do what seems to be "not dying and helping others not die?" If you're truly dedicated here, there are hundreds of charities that range from the mundane to the hyper-dangerous that can never get enough help and will probably teach you "valuable" skills and life lessons.

We live in a world where if you're lucky enough to play video games, you have a wider variety of options than any person that has lived before you in history. If you want to use it for something you perceive as admirable, you can probably pick up and move your entire life to a third world country and learn to help save lives.

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I spend most of my time interacting with people in some kind of competitive fashion. The only real moments of focus and clarity are preparing for or the moment of facing off against others. I'm also that kind of asshole who romanticizes the post-apocalyptic scenario because I think I'd be pretty okay comparatively if I survive the initial cataclysm. So anyway, this is really the chance to test it. Spend a few years of my life trying to be great at survival and either walk away a success or don't walk away a failure.

Beating that delusions drum.

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This is where we get into the hot and heavy delusion. Career paths are not something I've ever been able to see. At most a position lead to the promise of a slightly different position with a little more money. AKA: not things I care about. Where as if I did actually find enough success as a soldier to keep going with it past a first few bullets that is some shit you can actually make a difference with. There is never not some kind of atrocity happening somewhere in the world, and all the people suffering need help. Not just a seven samurai grandeur fighting off an army of bandits, but real help. The basics of helping get supplies or aid of some sort is pretty realistic goal and having more training than the people that don't want those things to happen seems like a good plan.


Quote
It really is about the training for me. The ability to physically defend yourself beyond being big and good at punching people is something I've come to realize I not only respect but really admire. The post-apocalypse reference was trying to suggest I understand that it is stupid to think anyone anywhere would be better off in any way except maybe the ones really into cannibalism or rape. Guns are really dangerous, kids can kill a whole bunch of people with them and kids suck. The thing is that training and, you know, actual act of ever handling a weapon or being near other people with them is pretty horrible in more ways than just the obvious. The only skill set I can see myself really being driven to master, either. It is seriously the brassest of tacks to be able to defend yourself and others from threat of death.

That's where I'm worried the crazy might be coming in. I could reasonably live a life where conflict of this level will probably never be imposed on me. Buuuuut I don't think I want to. Avoiding any talk about the conspiracy or craziness in the homeland, there's some pretty horrible shit happening all over the place in the world. The one delusion I do not have is that as one person I could make a significant difference, but I am pretty convinced I could still end up doing more good than bad.

EMT is definitely a good way to actively help people close to home, but I've heard enough second-hand horror stories about the insane shifts and drug addictions that come with it that it's pretty hard to consider it a choice. Especially since it is still a a permanent job. Military life I expect to be horrible for all the standard job reasons on top of all the armed forces reasons, but I don't plan to ever make a life of it. I see it as about four years of work in exchange for something that in the grand scheme is an incredibly useful tool.

If you love competition and practical combat why not pursue martial arts? A weak suggestion on my part, sure, but you need to reread your posts and analyze the subtle language you've got going here. You expect military life to be horrible but to teach you practical skills that will enrich your life as you help people? Bwuh?

You're aware that Military Suicides are kind of a thing, right? That we barely understand Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to any appreciable level and our veterans are suffering greatly for it?

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It is seriously the brassest of tacks to be able to defend yourself and others from threat of death.

I'm not seeing a lot in your posts that couldn't be more reasonably addressed by time spent at a firing range or learning some martial arts and engaging in truly hardcore physical training. Also, the brassest of tacks and what you seemed to be hinting at in your prior post is helping your fellow man.

I'm just an idiot who enjoys reading about war but you're sending up so many warning signs here it is pretty ridiculous.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 28, 2012, 07:50:51 AM
Yeah, I mean if all you want is to go through Basic, there ARE ways to do that or something similar without signing your life away for 4 years.

If those stories of EMTs scared you off, well it is twice as bad or worse in the army. If you think there's no drug abuse or horrible despair in the military, then... I don't know what drug you're abusing now.

And to be even more blunt than Doom: This is not 1904 or whatever. The Marines are not the Rangers, or the Airborne, let alone SEALS or those Army Rescue guys who's long name escapes me right now. The Marines are are not an elite force of any kind and haven't been so for decades. They are cannon fodder just as much as the regular Army.

One thing to understand is that guys you (and many of us), directionless, bored, unattached cynics who've lost their goals (or never had any and now want one) and who are starting to creep up on middle age are basically THE target market for army recruiters. But that doesn't mean you'd actually be a good fit for the army.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 28, 2012, 08:29:42 AM
I'm pretty sure that whatever branch of the military you enter, you're going to end up doing things like this except you'll be even more uncomfortable while doing it. It seems a bit naive to think that you're going to engage in 24/7 HOO-AAAAAAAAAH hardcore training. Wouldn't it be more likely that you go through your training for several weeks and them boom, here's your job, do it?

Military life I expect to be horrible for all the standard job reasons on top of all the armed forces reasons, but I don't plan to ever make a life of it. I see it as about four years of work in exchange for something that in the grand scheme is an incredibly useful tool.


why do you need to join the Marines to do what seems to be "not dying and helping others not die?" If you're truly dedicated here, there are hundreds of charities that range from the mundane to the hyper-dangerous that can never get enough help and will probably teach you "valuable" skills and life lessons.

...you can probably pick up and move your entire life to a third world country and learn to help save lives.
And to be even more blunt than Doom: This is not 1904 or whatever. The Marines are not the Rangers, or the Airborne, let alone SEALS or those Army Rescue guys who's long name escapes me right now. The Marines are are not an elite force of any kind and haven't been so for decades. They are cannon fodder just as much as the regular Army.

This is what I consider the most sane aspect of my reasoning. I fully understand that there is no safe position in the military. However, as far as my understanding goes the marines are more directly about applicable combat training as opposed to the army's broader spectrum of training for basically everything that needs to get done. If my position is going to be front line soldier I think I rather be a marine, but I guess it's really splitting hairs once your position has 'front line' in the name.

I'm sure I could also show up somewhere and decide I was going to start helping people. The idea here is the best way to prepare for that so I can actually be of some use when I get there.

You expect military life to be horrible but to teach you practical skills that will enrich your life as you help people? Bwuh?

You're aware that Military Suicides are kind of a thing, right? That we barely understand Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to any appreciable level and our veterans are suffering greatly for it?

Maybe I phrased that bit poorly but I don't actually expect to do any good in the army. In fact the way things go I'd be pretty happy if not somehow directly involved with civilian casualties.

I'm not seeing a lot in your posts that couldn't be more reasonably addressed by time spent at a firing range or learning some martial arts and engaging in truly hardcore physical training. Also, the brassest of tacks and what you seemed to be hinting at in your prior post is helping your fellow man.
One thing to understand is that guys you (and many of us), directionless, bored, unattached cynics who've lost their goals (or never had any and now want one) and who are starting to creep up on middle age are basically THE target market for army recruiters. But that doesn't mean you'd actually be a good fit for the army.

This is really what I was hoping to get into I guess. How much of this is actually sound reasoning versus twenty-something megalomania? I'm really just starting to openly voice my opinions and am talking with you guys actively about it more than family right now. Still I've always listened to family members talk about it. Only counting those young enough to have been somewhere in the middle east they've all been pretty open about it being a hard, harsh life but being happier for it. Asking and not just listening with them is my next step.

Edit: forgot to address this
You seem to be under an incredible amount of delusions and confusion. You desperately need to talk to some veterans or someone who has shared your feelings(or similar) and can help you understand them. Off the top of my head, $10 to join Something Awful and hang around in Goon Platoon would get you infinitely more practical information than that $10 is worth, especially compared to 4 years of something you already sound like you'll hate.
The Goon Platoon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seyH6H6OEXA#)
Are you trying to get me killed, man? (but fr srs the boards seem free again for now and very wroth looking at)
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 28, 2012, 09:32:27 AM
Military service being A Family Thing adds a huge dimension that had been left out. So there's that. Doesn't mean that it's any more of a good or bad decision, but it does add something important to any discussion.

The Goon Platoon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seyH6H6OEXA#)

The best part is when he pumps the non-inflatable sneakers.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Royal☭ on August 28, 2012, 09:34:23 AM
Nerds honing their survival skills for a post-apocalyptic scenario is like fundamentalists preparing for the Rapture.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 28, 2012, 09:35:37 AM
Nerds honing their survival skills for a post-apocalyptic scenario is like fundamentalists preparing for the Rapture.

This is eerily accurate.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Doom on August 28, 2012, 11:00:52 AM
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(but fr srs the boards seem free again for now and very wroth looking at)

Yeah, they have a lot of fantastic resource threads for considering recruitment if you go forward and a ton of practical advice from actual vets to guide you towards the right decision(as well as probably much better at busting your balls if this turns out to be a thing you should not do), as well as entering with all your possible options in mind regarding careers and education.

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How much of this is actually sound reasoning versus twenty-something megalomania?

You just need to mind that it's a thing you want to do and see through and not "my life is in a rut, I think I'll shake it up." Which was my exact thought process for awhile and probably would have been an easy choice for me if the years 2001-2008 didn't happen and sicken me to the notion. You don't need hyper-patriotism or something to have a good stint in the Armed Forces, but the opposite isn't going to get you much further.

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Fallout Chat

Two thoughts.

1) When the power went out for like a week on a large part of the East Coast in June, I gradually began to loosen my morals regarding what I'd do to get some god damn electricity. If you ever want to test a conviction you have, put it up against a week of air conditioning in 90 degree weather.

2) The easiest way to unromanticize Survival in the post-Apocalypse is to imagine a time you've had a chronic nagging pain. Tooth-ache, sore wound, skin condition. OK, now there's a less than 100% survival rate and a close to 0% chance of finding somebody who can do anything about it. Have fun!
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Joxam on August 28, 2012, 11:54:28 AM
I actually thought hard about joining the armed forces too. Ultimately, though, I think you need to find the civilian counterpart and do it.

What do you want to do in the Marines?

Because if the only answer you have is kick ass and take names, then you are thinking about a pipe dream. That isn't at all what you'll be doing. I don't think there is one actual position in the military whose job is to kick ass and take names full time. That's just the movies you've seen talking. You are going to spend a lot more time doing a lot less fun things on about 6 months of training.

And hey, you might be called upon to do things that are above and beyond the normal call of duty, but at the end of the day, these are once in a life time events, and they leave you scarred for life.

One of the people in my WoW guild is currently undergoing treatment for PTSD after serving a tour in Iraq, apparently they're doing better but small things can still fuck them up, like at a 4th of July parade this year they had to be hospitalized for two days because they couldn't handle the explosion noises the fireworks were making.

Of course, that's not withstanding the fact that I worry about you joining up because you're my friend. Also you smoke.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 28, 2012, 02:24:44 PM
Military service being A Family Thing adds a huge dimension that had been left out. So there's that. Doesn't mean that it's any more of a good or bad decision, but it does add something important to any discussion.
Definitely had an impact, but it's hardly a legacy. My grandfathers / great uncles all served in WWII, one uncle served but has since passed, another had civilian-commission into the reserves and two cousins actively served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

What do you want to do in the Marines?
scout/sniper is the obvious "I think I'm the awesomest badass" choice and my safety is unfortunately the equally adonis-requiring reconnaissance. Since those basically require you to be in the top 10% of everyone in the military though engineer corps would be nice. As would trying for an unit leader position, but pretty sure that requires years as a grunt, making it my most realistic opportunity I guess.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: on August 28, 2012, 03:54:30 PM
What do you want to do in the Marines?
scout/sniper is the obvious "I think I'm the awesomest badass" choice and my safety is unfortunately the equally adonis-requiring reconnaissance. Since those basically require you to be in the top 10% of everyone in the military though engineer corps would be nice. As would trying for an unit leader position, but pretty sure that requires years as a grunt, making it my most realistic opportunity I guess.

go pyro imo
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on August 28, 2012, 06:26:26 PM
Oh come on, Heavy + Medic solves war.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on August 29, 2012, 03:47:48 AM
If you actually want to be a sniper, I hope you're cool with shitting yourself.  Also, incredible amounts of boredom.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 29, 2012, 04:59:15 AM
"Incredible amounts of boredom" is a pretty apt description for just about any job in the military, really.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 29, 2012, 05:20:38 AM
If you actually want to be a sniper, I hope you're cool with shitting yourself.  Also, incredible amounts of boredom.
I was told you're allowed to poop outside your pants.

And just to clarify, I don't actually think joining and then leaving the army immediately makes you Arnold Schwarzenator in the good movies. The reason I think recon / scout is a good position for me is because sitting around for hours waiting for the exact right moment almost gives me more boners than girls do. I can only imagine stretching that out over days just makes it tantric.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on August 29, 2012, 06:27:37 AM
I was told you're allowed to poop outside your pants.

Of course you are.  So long as you don't mind giving away your position.

Also, you are genuinely out of your mind.  Literally demented.  I'm not saying you are wrong, that it wouldn't be that way for you, just that it says frankly frightening things about you if true.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 29, 2012, 07:18:48 AM
What's frightening is how many times it took typing that before it finally sounded like I wasn't a stalker.

and seriously about the poop thing maybe I'm legitimately misinformed but yeah, sometimes you may piss on yourself but any time you can't move for long enough to hold back poop you are already in a worse spot than pooping your pants.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Shinra on August 29, 2012, 07:21:53 AM
Didn't we have a veteran on these boards with similar ideas about the military going into it who seriously considered becoming a fugitive seeking asylum in Canada half way through his service?

it's cool that you want to serve your country and don't let me stop you, but it sounds like you have a lot of very romantic ideas about military service that are pretty far removed from the real military, where you are going to be doing a lot of shitty, boring jobs in a place where everybody hates you and are as much at risk from your own squadmates killing or raping you as you are from insurgents blowing you up or the local police deciding they liked the Taliban better.

You're too old to make a career out of military service (if you didn't do ROTC you should probably forget about being an officer) so if you really want to serve your country and get life experience that'll help, can I suggest a noncombat role? And don't let them bully you into not using your GI bill, either. It's apparently a huge problem.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on November 14, 2012, 02:03:27 PM
Went to a recruiter today. The practice ASVAB was a nice reminder that any effort puts me far ahead of the average at the current point. Was surprised to find that my aptitude is apparently artillery operator.

Also surprising is that the recruiter actively tried to dissuade me from preparation for the initial screening. Both from purchasing the ASVAB practice manual because my "scores were already high enough" and from physical training. Is there an actual good reasoning behind this anyone can think of / knows of? or just the recruiter's of them not being too demanding on new recruits and not to fret? Because that sounded like the worst advice ever.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Ted Belmont on November 14, 2012, 02:54:57 PM
Not sure about the physical training, but a lower ASVAB score would limit your options, making it easier to push you into a combat arms MOS, which always need more fresh recruits.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Tefari on November 14, 2012, 03:07:57 PM
At the risk of hijacking the thread, what are the downsides to being an EMT? What kind of horror stories and shit-that-leads-to-drug-addiction does that job entail aside from dealing with large amounts of people in various states of not-doing-so-well? Not to downplay the effects on the psyche that dealing with such a morbid job entails mind you. Someone mentioned it upthread and that kind of feels like something I'd be interested in doing from the same wanting to make a difference angle as BB here. So please, shred the idea if you think its terrible but I'd love to hear about it good and bad.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on November 14, 2012, 03:32:55 PM
Also surprising is that the recruiter actively tried to dissuade me from preparation for the initial screening. Both from purchasing the ASVAB practice manual because my "scores were already high enough" and from physical training. Is there an actual good reasoning behind this anyone can think of / knows of? or just the recruiter's of them not being too demanding on new recruits and not to fret? Because that sounded like the worst advice ever.

Physical training wouldn't hurt, but basic will put you where you need to be.  Unless there's something physically wrong with you that they don't catch on medical.

As to testing practice, yeah, I can't think of any reason this would be a bad idea.  It is important to remember that no matter how friendly and amiable a recruiter may appear, they are worse than used car salesmen.  The only thing they care about is their quota.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Brentai on November 14, 2012, 05:44:36 PM
There's actually a valid argument to be made that aptitude tests should, you know, test your aptitude, and not your ability to study.  Fudging around with the results is a good way to elevate yourself to a level you'll hate.

THAT SAID, the reality is probably more in line with what has been said before: if you're going for enlisted, be ready for the brass to subty and not-so-subtly try to make you feel stupid almost constantly. 

(As for the physical it's because military PT is fundametally different from any private training you're likely to recieve, so starting at a blank slate actually puts you ahead.)
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on November 14, 2012, 08:58:39 PM
Eh, only thing different about it is the relentlessness.  Ain't nothing magical about the basic PT program.  Honestly, if you wanted to do any physical preparation, work on running endurance.  That'd save you the most grief.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Classic on November 14, 2012, 09:31:21 PM
How bad is boot anyway? Like, 2 90 minute sessions a day, every day?
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on November 14, 2012, 10:53:43 PM
That's probably not too far off of actual PT, but far more often than not, anything else you do the rest of the day involves some not insignificant amount of physical exertion.  Rifle training (near the end of basic) is probably the least active you'll be the entire time, but you'll be in proper shape by then, anyway.  I recall that sundays were ours, and by that I mean we got to scour the barracks clean and do laundry.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Classic on November 15, 2012, 12:01:38 AM
Outside of the actually requiring discipline part that sounds almost fun.
Something is wrong with my idiot brain.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on November 15, 2012, 12:12:11 AM
It wasn't.
There is.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: François on November 15, 2012, 02:28:00 AM
I think some people might be attracted to the idea of essentially not being in charge of their own day-to-day activities, to not have to decide on their own priorities or schedules, and just doing what they're ordered to do when they're ordered to do it. To become a creature of action rather than decision, even if said action happens to be scrubbing latrines. I'm not even passing judgement on that; I'm not that kind of person, but I think I understand how some could be. Of course there are the obvious dangers that come with surrendering one's will to another, and I assume at some point you realize you're scrubbing a latrine, or shooting a dude, or whatever. But in some small way I get how the whole thing could be attractive to a particular mindset.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on November 15, 2012, 06:13:46 AM
Nah, I grok that, but in this case you're surrendering your will to assholes.  If you're lucky, they might be competent assholes.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Classic on November 15, 2012, 08:13:22 AM
In my case, it's basically recognizing that I enjoy cakes, but don't recognize that I probably do not want to eat a cake shop's worth of cakes from out of a dumpster.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Friday on November 15, 2012, 11:36:41 AM
It's pretty rare that someone in the army will be competent. I'm not pissing on the army, either, it's just that it's pretty rare that human beings are competent.

Imagine you're literally at the command of your WoW/whatever guild leader. That's a best case scenario.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 17, 2012, 11:43:28 AM
Waiting on a call to make sure I'm not immediately disqualified on medical reasons (I can't imagine there's any reason I would be) because evidently no one in the military prior to me has ever heard of Pyloric stenosis.

I was asking one of the recruiters about their quotas and he did finally admit to their numbers, but insisted that other than raw numbers the only factor anyone checks for is if you're a high school senior or not, that the MOS you get put into makes no difference to anyone they have to report to.

It's believable, but could also easily be a lie and really my last concern.

Edit for specification:

I have heard there could be incentive for the recruiters to try and 'motivate you' towards a certain job, but that in the end the available job list is provided and final choice filled out by civilian contractors who have nothing to gain from any choice you make. My specific fear is that if I go for same day testing / physical and get told at the last second "whelp, guess all that's available right now is infantry, so have fun being infantry!"
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 17, 2012, 07:48:23 PM
So because I am such a totally awesome guy with so many friends...

Would anyone be willing to give me their name, phone number, and address so that I can give it to the government so they can maybe call you and ask if I have murdered anyone in the past seven years?

I've come to the realization that I have lost / cut off contact with anyone not related to me and there aren't even any family friends to speak of because no one in my family knows how to have a friend that they don't end up marrying. Turns out the army isn't big on giving classified information to people that can't prove they don't spend 100% of their time in a shelter plotting against them or something.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on January 10, 2013, 11:21:54 AM
Haha, wait... really? Oh man, I would love to hear the rationale for this.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Büge on January 10, 2013, 11:24:44 AM
What exactly did you have tattooed on your inner lip that got you disqualified?
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on January 10, 2013, 11:25:24 AM
Starr says maybe it's because they think there's a possibility you could have dormant Hepatitis B. The idea is that actually testing for Hep B is expensive, so maybe instead of doing that they just DQ you?

That's apparently what they used to do for a long time with blood donations (If you had a tattoo, you couldn't donate blood at all), up until recently.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2013, 11:35:41 AM
Haha, wait... really? Oh man, I would love to hear the rationale for this.
The recruiter didn't seem to actually know but filed it under "any facial tattoo at all" (it is so low down that not only has nobody but the artist seen it, and I forgot about it until I had to take inventory of my tattoos for this.

What exactly did you have tattooed on your inner lip that got you disqualified?

"Gift of the Gab" in Irish Gaelic.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Mongrel on January 10, 2013, 11:40:14 AM
Huh. Seems silly, given it's effectively invisible.

One of those "letter of the law, but not the spirit." sort of things.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: François on January 10, 2013, 11:44:39 AM
First time I ever heard of a tattoo preventing a decision one might regret later instead of being one.  :glee:
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Joxam on January 10, 2013, 12:03:24 PM
You got in like a year too late, John. Last year the military did a huge make over of their dress code and basically banned anyone from joining that had tattoos anywhere the uniform can't cover up.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: TA on January 10, 2013, 12:07:05 PM
Huh. Seems silly, given it's effectively invisible.

One of those "letter of the law, but not the spirit." sort of things.

I dunno.  "Has tattoos on their face" bespeaks such a profound failure of judgment and rationality that it makes sense to not spend taxpayer dollars training that person to use guns.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2013, 12:17:08 PM
TIL: TA doesn't know what a facial tattoo is.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Shinra on January 10, 2013, 01:54:24 PM
TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.

You could apply for another branch and just not tell them about the lip tattoo, maybe?

It's been my experience that loosely attached government organizations rarely, if ever, compare notes.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2013, 02:33:11 PM
The only reason I even thought hard enough to include it is because I would be legitimately amazed if the physical didn't have some kind of gums check, and that if I didn't report it it would be instant disqualification there.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: TA on January 10, 2013, 02:36:19 PM
TIL: an inner lip tattoo is more damning to a federal military career than major surgery, shingles, potential drug abuse, or a criminal record.

AKA: it was an instant disqualifier once the tattoo report was looked over.

You could apply for another branch and just not tell them about the lip tattoo, maybe?

It's been my experience that loosely attached government organizations rarely, if ever, compare notes.


That shit's visible every time you talk or eat, and lying on the documents probably means a lot worse than just a rightful disqualification.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2013, 02:47:24 PM
That shit's visible every time you talk or eat
I'm surprised you even realize those are things you use lips for, what with all the talking out your ass.
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Joxam on January 10, 2013, 03:30:37 PM
I'm picturing TA eating like Mr. Ed 'talks' now. Seriously though how do you have to eat that the underside of your lip is visible every time you do it?
Title: Re: I Wanna Be The Army
Post by: Brentai on January 10, 2013, 04:06:25 PM
He's eating the recruiter.