Brontoforumus Archive

Discussion Boards => High-Context Discourse => Topic started by: Sharkey on February 11, 2008, 09:09:23 PM

Title: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on February 11, 2008, 09:09:23 PM
CEO of Earth: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ijQ7kHfrRt0
CEO of Earth: I want to be Airwolf when I grow up.
<somegirl>: i have sooo much stupid airwolf music from that minute i dated <some guy>
<somegirl>: he put so much airwolf shit on my laptop
CEO of Earth: Hah!
<somegirl>: sigh
CEO of Earth: Da! Dana na na! Dana na na! Dana na na na nanananana!
CEO of Earth: Aw. That slamming door sound wasn't you. I was so expecting that.
<somegirl>: guh?
CEO of Earth: Thought you'd logged off in Airwolf-induced disgust.
CEO of Earth: And I would have done a dance. Maybe done that macho chest-slamming-in-midair thing with a mirror because I'm the awesomest person here.
CEO of Earth: And bled out in a pile of broken glass.
<somegirl>: fuck you
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: EmaWii on February 14, 2008, 02:37:52 PM
friend: just promise Koji a giant robot he can ride around in
friend: that otta do it
ruususokkusu: heh
ruususokkusu: but that would be...lying!
friend: not if you....build one!
ruususokkusu: out of...paper!
ruususokkusu: "Your pinky finger can ride around in it, see?"
ruususokkusu: Dude.
ruususokkusu: Origami giant robot finger puppets.
friend: NICE
ruususokkusu: That would kick ass.
friend: I want one
ruususokkusu: Hand painted!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 14, 2008, 10:45:40 PM
Quote from: FD chatter after Ike killing Pit at ~50%
Pit: JESUS.
Ike: Ike is all power.
Pikachu: I thought you hated Ike.
Ike: I do hate Ike.
*Ike kills Pikachu at ~50%*

Yes, I'm crossposting from Bronto's Brawl Spoilers thread.  Bite me.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on February 15, 2008, 07:07:25 AM
Well Kazz and Niku won't like that!



 :sadpanda:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on February 22, 2008, 08:39:25 AM
The panel would have also accepted:
[JustAGirl holds open entrance door for Arc]
Arc: Thank you.
[JustAGirl walks down hallway in front of Arc, drops keys, stops, bends over to pick them up, grabs keys]
JustAGirl: Sorry, didn't mean to fuck you... Stop you.
[Arc tilts his head a bit]
Arc: Don't worry. It happens to lots of people.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on February 22, 2008, 08:52:09 PM
Context: Real Life, discussing LAWS.

Roommate: I think it's actually a common fall back, to say, "Yeah, the law should be on my side!"
Me: Well, I'd like to think the law is usually on my side too. Except in the case of Piracy. In that case I like to be dramatically in the wrong!
[Roommate walks off here. Time for a parting shot!]
Me: ARR! All digital booty is mine for the plundering! *pause* You see, it's a pun, because most of it is pornography!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on February 22, 2008, 09:19:19 PM
[qute]i has a jo ke[/q oute
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on February 24, 2008, 12:42:09 PM
Context: Discussing one of my many rude habits.

Roommate: No, it didn't bother me, but that's because I've gotten used to your rude habits.
Me: Hm, they are many and pretty rude, but certainly not the rudest habits.
Roommate: Yeah, the rudest habits are worn by nuns.

This terrible pun clearly merited both posting and a Lo5.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 24, 2008, 05:47:16 PM
Apparently Classic rooms with Roast Beef Kazenzakis.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on February 24, 2008, 05:57:56 PM
FiendOfShadows: PIKMIN ARE MY FRIENDS
FiendOfShadows: NOT MY SLAVES
CHHCannon: ACTUALLY THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE SUICIDE TROOPS (IN PIKMIN HEAVEN THEY RECIEVE THE COMPANY OF ONE HUNDRED UNFERTILIZED SPROUTS)
CHHCannon: ...I'm in trouble now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on February 24, 2008, 07:11:12 PM
Apparently Classic rooms with Roast Beef Kazenzakis.

Roast Beef says that his greatest aspiration is to write Java on the moon. Also, you're all right, and he's very impressed.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: IndieJones on March 05, 2008, 12:11:48 PM
The origin of Edward Shotgunhands.

[11:25] <AirsickMoth> I FIND THE DEFENDANT... BULLET-RIDDLED
[11:25] <M3wThr33> You mean 14-year-old kids CAN'T run with a 20-pound AWP in their arms?
[11:26] <AirsickMoth> sure they can.
[11:26] <Dacquin> Yeah they can
[11:26] <M3wThr33> Which ones? Atlas's sons?
[11:26] <AirsickMoth> they'll run when they've got texas justice bearing down on them with two shotguns
[11:26] <Goonigoogoo> and walker too
[11:26] <M3wThr33> In each hand! Two shotguns in each hand!
[11:26] <Goonigoogoo> one shotgun for each finger!
[11:26] <AirsickMoth> HOLY FUCK THAT'S AWESOME
[11:26] <M3wThr33> Yeah
[11:27] <Goonigoogoo> Edward Shotgunhands!
[11:27] <M3wThr33> And be like that guy on He-Man, the ones with the guns in his CHEST
[11:27] <AirsickMoth> dr. turretbody?
[11:27] <Goonigoogoo> Where a young man with shotguns for hands learns to become part of society by cutting people's hair with his hands
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: IndieJones on March 05, 2008, 12:31:08 PM
I apologize ahead of time for this one.

[12:34] <Lance> give me a famous person to put in an ad. And a product to put in the same ad.
[12:34] <Goonigoogoo> sean connery
[12:34] <Goonigoogoo> tampons
[12:34] <Barman> now thats an interesting combo
[12:34] <Lance> "This time, October won't be so red."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on March 05, 2008, 06:31:27 PM
Another conversation with the roommate who you have identified as "Roast Beef"

ME: I'm not sure I can agree to that.
RB: Agree or not, I find it's form of communication very dense in information.
ME: Well where do you kiss them?
RB: All over the place.
ME: Ah, :smile: now I can agree!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 05, 2008, 06:34:39 PM
Is... is... that a reference to my incessant argument from the other week?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on March 05, 2008, 06:35:09 PM
 :mystery:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: EmaWii on March 24, 2008, 12:37:54 PM
ruususokkusu (01:06:22 pm): you know
ruususokkusu (01:06:31 pm): i've never been rickrolled
ruususokkusu (01:06:36 pm): so today
ruususokkusu (01:06:44 pm): i rickrolled myself
jotaku (01:06:47 pm): hahah
jotaku (01:07:00 pm): on purpose?
ruususokkusu (01:07:01 pm): and...the thing is...this song? I used to really like this song in like 4th grade ;D
ruususokkusu (01:07:12 pm): also
jotaku (01:07:18 pm): I used to like it, too. I used to think a big, burly black guy sang it
ruususokkusu (01:07:35 pm): his music video reminds me of my friend's music videos, only less trippy
ruususokkusu (01:07:45 pm): like the way he is just dancing around singing by himself mostly?
ruususokkusu (01:08:26 pm): but yeah, you're right about the burly black guy syndrome
jotaku (01:08:37 pm): it's very strange!
jotaku (01:08:46 pm): I'm lucky I didn't actually see the video as a young lad
ruususokkusu (01:08:48 pm): if someone ELSE were singing it, i think it'd probably be even better
jotaku (01:08:52 pm): I might have been confused beyond belief
ruususokkusu (01:08:55 pm): hahaha
ruususokkusu (01:09:18 pm): I think maybe everyone is just insecure because they can't make the kind of commitment this guy can!! ;p
jotaku (01:09:24 pm): haha
ruususokkusu (01:09:35 pm): Everyone is so keen on giving everyone else up that they can't stand it, so they have to make fun.
jotaku (01:09:51 pm): he is NEVER gonna give you up

A lightly edited tongue-in-cheek conversation from...just now. I don't even remember how rickrolling came up, honestly.

Also-- no kidding-- my roommate asked if he could buy a pair of my underwear the other day. Paraphrased as follows:

"I have a super super weird bizarre favor to ask you... Can I buy a pair of your underwear?"
"Why do you want them?"
"Well, I'm sure you know why."
"Well, they're pretty expensive..."
"How expensive?"
"What were you thinking?"
"Hmm...15 dollars?"
"More expensive than that."
"What?!"
"Why don't you just go buy some yourself?"
"Well, it's difficult for me..." [cuz he's a guy]
"Well, it's difficult for me to sell them! 30 bucks!"

So yeah, we haggled over a pair of my underwear. Mostly cuz I thought it was hilarious, but also cuz I'm worse than concave broke and have been for a week. I told him my final offer was 25 and he said he would think about it. I guess I probably shouldn't encourage him, but at least he didn't steal, which is more than you can say about my ex-roommate and my last paycheck *badum ching!* Life is grand.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on March 24, 2008, 02:21:15 PM
Rick Astley does have quite a deep voice for such a small man.

wait used underwear or clean underwear
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on March 24, 2008, 03:07:32 PM
If used, you can include a service charge.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: EmaWii on March 25, 2008, 10:13:16 PM
He didn't specify. I don't have any fresh out of the plastic, but I wouldn't sell him unwashed. That's a bit past silly and into nasty.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 25, 2008, 10:46:18 PM
When I was doing Rocky Horror, the theatre paid for my undies.  (Well, the women's undies.  I bought the tighty-whities.)  They told me I could keep them.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: EmaWii on April 01, 2008, 03:26:18 PM
I'm playing a game with just brilliant writing...

ruususokkusu (오후 4:16:07): "The leaves made a mystical sound as they blew in the wind."
ruususokkusu (오후 4:16:08): What?
interlocutor (오후 4:16:17): mystical sound!!
interlocutor (오후 4:16:26): you know....like the mystical type of sound
ruususokkusu (오후 4:16:43): Is that like...wumbly wumbly wumbly? No, that's whimsical...
ruususokkusu (오후 4:16:44): Uh....
ruususokkusu (오후 4:16:58): shwaaa
ruususokkusu (오후 4:17:01): shwaaawaawaaaa
ruususokkusu (오후 4:17:12): lol does that work?
interlocutor (오후 4:19:15): that sounds like a dying goose
ruususokkusu (오후 4:19:18): : /
ruususokkusu (오후 4:19:35): What's better, then? HUH?
ruususokkusu (오후 4:19:37): C'MON!!!
ruususokkusu (오후 4:19:40): GIMME MYSTICAL!
interlocutor (오후 4:19:51): woooowaaooo ::chingle::
ruususokkusu (오후 4:20:11): lmao
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 17, 2008, 07:17:46 PM
from #wolfpire:

<Kazz> i was a cool kid at improv club
<Kazz> now i'm gay
<Friday> not really
<Friday> you're more...
<Friday> gay light
<Kazz> i only suck the head
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 19, 2008, 02:39:38 PM
<R^2> Undermountain's by-the-book traps are kind of dull. "The ceiling here is an illusion, and there's a hostile carrion crawler behind it, stuck to the real ceiling!" yaaawn
<BongoBill> The ceiling here is an illusion, and the door is behind it! The obvious door goes to a closet with a carrion crawler in it.
<R^2> I guess you can't be really nasty at low ECLs.
<R^2> Er, ELs.
<@Cait> Sure you can. You just can't be LETHAL.
<Doom> The carrion crawler here is an illusion! It's actually three baby carrion crawlers illusioned to look like a very twitchy standard one!
<R^2> The carrion crawler is full of spiders. The spiders are full of smaller spiders.
<@Cait> The carrion crawler is actually a glamered animated key.
<BongoBill> The carrion crawler here is an illusioN! It's actually the real ceiling, with a carrion crawler stuck to it!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on April 24, 2008, 11:59:47 AM
[3:54] <Zaratustra> I have a solution for the election problem
[3:54] <Zaratustra> erection for the election
[3:54] <Zaratustra> the candidate that can sustain a hardon for the longest time is the winner
[3:55] <Zaratustra> unfortunately this is biased towards Hillary
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on April 24, 2008, 09:43:22 PM
<Zaratustra> The taunting haunt is a rotund jester-like creature that is the haunting spirit of deceased performer. You can defeat it in a fight, but it will keep coming back every 24 hours unless you defeat it in a battle of wits.
<Zaratustra> A sidebar describes a battle of wits as a back-and-forth trade of jokes, insults, riddles etc.
<Zaratustra> So, what I'm thinking as I'm reading this is that they've created a monster that can only truly be killed if it is defeated in a Yo Momma' battle.
<Doom> DA-YUMN! YO MOMMA SO FAT THAT SHE HAS POSITIVE ECL! YO MOMMA SO FAT THAT I GOTSTA ROLL TWICE ON HER LOOT TABLE! YO MOMMA SO FAT THAT SHE AIN'T GOT TO CAST PERMANENCY WITH HER BEAR'S ENDURANCE!
<Zaratustra>  Yo momma so fat, she has her own Ethereal Plane.
<Doom> YO MOMMA'S SO FAT THAT WHEN I REACHED FER DESERT, I CAUSED AN ATTACK OF OPPORTUNITY!
<Zaratustra> Yo momma so old, when she was a kid, the Forgotten Realms were just the Mildly Obscure Realms.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 25, 2008, 09:01:07 AM
You forgot <+Lyrai> Yo momma so fat she cast Giant Size and shrunk
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 25, 2008, 02:01:33 PM
<Suibeom> He moved to one of those Y2K survivalit colonies.
<Stush> Whoah.
<Suibeom> Survivalist, rather.
<@Romosome> whoa
<Stush> What happened to those after it didn't happen?
<Suibeom> That was... A while ago.
<Suibeom> I have no idea!
<Stush> D:
<Suibeom> I never heard from him.
<Stush> Oh man.
<Stush> Maybe, ironically, they were the only places affected.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: TA on April 25, 2008, 10:05:03 PM
<Detonator> They're just assuming that just because something caused the Holocaust, that it must be wrong.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on April 25, 2008, 11:34:30 PM
www.0x22.com is awesome

<Aintaer>   There's a problem about minimizing costs for lunch at a daycare
<Aintaer>   My final solution:
<Aintaer>   The minimum cost per child is 47.3 cents. This meal consists of 2 slices of bread, 0.555 tbsp of peanut butter, 0.2775 tbsp of strawberry jelly, 1 whole graham cracker (children might complain about partial crackers), and a mix of 0.5482 cup milk and 0.4839 juice.
<Aintaer>   Considering that a mix of milk and juice may not be the most palatable, Bob and Alice are advised to select the least picky children for their day care.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on April 25, 2008, 11:37:38 PM
<R^2> Undermountain's by-the-book traps are kind of dull. "The ceiling here is an illusion, and there's a hostile carrion crawler behind it, stuck to the real ceiling!" yaaawn

The ceiling here is an illusion. It is actually the floor.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on April 29, 2008, 08:19:20 AM
<Stush> I wish i still had my megadrive.
<Stush> I mean, i have emulators, but that doesn't capture the feelings of putting the cartridge in, turning it on, finding it doesn't work, taking the cart out, blowing on it, putting it back in, and repeating a dozen times, then giving up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on April 30, 2008, 09:57:58 PM
Nick Hamilton: I have a question there is like some woman for an example she had like 101 kids wouldn't that be alot?
Charlie C: Yes. Also not going to happen, because she'd die before hitting that mark.
Nick Hamilton: What makes you say that?
Charlie C: Nick, pregnancy takes a lot out of us soft, weak hu-mans. This is a woman we're talking about; not a freaking ant queen.
Nick Hamilton: On 101 it was made as a movie except it was a disney movie and it had a crap load of dogs.
Charlie C: Which is... Also not going to happen with dogs. Certainly not in a single litter. Canine and human vaginas are not somehow tears into a strange, alien dimension of space... Cool as that would be.
Nick Hamilton: If I mean "IF" on a human it would be a big fat responsibilty.
Charlie C: Or a reason to commit suicide, if the woman and man was somehow forced to care for every single one.

Turns out chats with literal autistics can get rather bizarre.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 01, 2008, 12:35:40 AM
Also, the 101 Dalmatians didn't all come from the same mother.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on May 01, 2008, 02:10:19 PM
WELL SHUCKS THAT JUST CHANGES EVERYTHING DON'T IT
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 01, 2008, 07:37:21 PM
we need a M. Night Shamyamamamalan smiley for these moments.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on May 03, 2008, 03:39:09 PM
Quote from: #mythos
[16:25:08] <neutral> my vid is taking forever to upload to youtube
[16:25:10] <neutral> ugggggggggggggggggg
[16:25:13] <neutral> 5 hours now
[16:25:19] <neutral> 4gb
[16:25:20] <lemistio> you're uploading
[16:25:23] <lemistio> a 4gb video
[16:25:24] <lemistio> in youtube
[16:25:27] <neutral> so
[16:25:34] <neutral> 2min long
[16:25:34] <CorpPor> have you ever heard of compression?
[16:25:36] * lemistio rolls.
[16:25:41] <CorpPor> holy shit.
[16:25:42] <neutral> well
[16:25:45] <neutral> is used to be 100mb
[16:25:49] <neutral> but i put a song in there
[16:25:51] <neutral> and now its 4gb

Quote from: #mythos
[16:33:31] <SolInvictus> No dude.
[16:33:37] <SolInvictus> Ironman is richer than Batman.
[16:33:44] <SolInvictus> Forbes listed him as the richest superhero.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on May 03, 2008, 04:19:11 PM
Quote from: #mythos
[16:33:31] <SolInvictus> No dude.
[16:33:37] <SolInvictus> Ironman is richer than Batman.
[16:33:44] <SolInvictus> Forbes listed him as the richest superhero.

Well think about it this way: what has more intrinsic economic value? Iron, or bats?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 03, 2008, 04:47:55 PM
Quote from: Christian Bale, in a recent interview
'I would like to say acting is a meaningful and difficult job, but it's actually damn easy and pretty pointless.'
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on May 03, 2008, 05:27:50 PM
Well think about it this way: what has more intrinsic economic value? Iron, or bats?
Supposing we follow that line of reasoning, where does that put Aquaman?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on May 03, 2008, 05:34:47 PM
Pretty damn low.  Barbie Girl hasn't been popular for years.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on May 04, 2008, 06:35:41 PM
But what is a grill compared to something as elemental as water?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on May 04, 2008, 09:03:19 PM
Quote from: Christian Bale, in a recent interview
'I would like to say acting is a meaningful and difficult job, but it's actually damn easy and pretty pointless.'

Easy? Inevitable after hanging out with this man long enough:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHfz7_YjRww

(part one of six)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 04, 2008, 11:46:59 PM
Quote from: #mythos
[16:33:31] <SolInvictus> No dude.
[16:33:37] <SolInvictus> Ironman is richer than Batman.
[16:33:44] <SolInvictus> Forbes listed him as the richest superhero.

LIES (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_Fictional_15)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 05, 2008, 02:39:16 AM
<Roger> "love how super-science is aparently not only a physical substance but also how knowledge can aparently be lost. "Oh shi--! Where did I put my knowledge of how to manipulate positrons? Fuck, it's in the puppy!" "
<Dogstar> Roger, do you know how to make a computer?
<Dogstar> Not just how to put it together, but how to create and build all the machines needed to create the pieces and parts from scrap, and not only that, how to find and collect the materials needed to make one, process those materials, and any special machines (and their requisite bits) that might be needed for that?
<+Stush> I do! You have to harvest the aluminium for the case from cans, the gold from people's teeth, you have to sneakily steal the silicon from breast implants, and the copper from coins! And then you throw them all into a blender and blend until they're fine, and you throw them into a box of science and it'll form crystals, which eventually turn into a computer.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 05, 2008, 05:43:50 AM
Obviously a computer is made of computronium.

You think I'm joking.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on May 05, 2008, 05:46:24 AM
Quote from: #mythos
[16:33:31] <SolInvictus> No dude.
[16:33:37] <SolInvictus> Ironman is richer than Batman.
[16:33:44] <SolInvictus> Forbes listed him as the richest superhero.

LIES (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_Fictional_15)

Some egotistical editor for Forbes listed his own fictional character, Fake Steve Jobs.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on May 05, 2008, 06:07:13 AM
Forbes really should use stricter standards when creating a list of fictional rich people.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on May 05, 2008, 08:30:40 AM
<Niku> Wait
<Niku> The rumored Ant-Man movie is rumored to be directed by rumored Edgar Wright?
<Niku> SOLD.
<Kabbage> I dunno... Hot Fuzz was a little too much like Shaun for me to think he's got a full-length superhero movie in him.
<Cait> Fortunately, Ant-Man's not a full-length superhero.
<Stush> Dohohoho
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on May 05, 2008, 10:53:16 AM
Forbes really should use stricter standards when creating a list of fictional rich people.

I'm nerdy enough to actually wish that they did use stricter standards for this pointless article. I haven't read the most recent article, but I read the first one and I was upset that they listed Scrooge McDuck anywhere but first, and they estimated his worth to be in the mere billions. I mean, the character is known as the Richest Duck In The World! So rich that every writer just makes up bigger and bigger numbers because he's so impossibly wealthy! He owns an entire moon made of gold, for the love of God!
:richiam:

So anyway I'm glad he finally got his due.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 05, 2008, 11:03:04 AM
I hear you there, but I'm not so sure that he's richer than freaking Santa Claus (who doesn't just own the worldwide toy industry, but is essentially the worldwide toy industry).  Also, why the hell is Princess Peach anywhere on that list?  She can't even afford decent bodyguards, for Toad's sake.  They had to hire a plumber to rescue her.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on May 05, 2008, 11:12:25 AM
You clearly don't know Mario's rate.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on May 05, 2008, 01:51:47 PM
You clearly don't know Mario's rate.

So he's not just paid in :cake:?

I hear you there, but I'm not so sure that he's richer than freaking Santa Claus (who doesn't just own the worldwide toy industry, but is essentially the worldwide toy industry).

Well, in the first list, Santa was ranked above everyone. The Wikipedia article claims that Santa was removed from the second list because children (more likely, their parents) complained that Santa wasn't fictional, so shouldn't have been listed.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 05, 2008, 01:53:25 PM
Fine.

Robot Santa, then.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 05, 2008, 02:04:02 PM
Children read Forbes?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on May 05, 2008, 02:11:47 PM
You clearly don't know Mario's rate.
So he's not just paid in :cake:?

Oh, he is.

Yellowcake.

Mario's got big plans...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 09, 2008, 04:01:35 PM
Quote
'The aunt no one can stand.'

Actor John Cleese, describing Hillary Clinton
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 17, 2008, 04:01:36 PM
Quote
'It's frankly a rather embarrassing matter.'

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, on the discovery that Nobel laureate Nelson Mandela is included on the U.S. terrorist watch list

Quote
'I want Barack Obama to be the next president of our country. As an official celebrity, I know my endorsement has just made your mind up for you.'

Movie actor Tom Hanks, writing on his MySpace page
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 19, 2008, 01:40:15 PM
<@Cait> You CAN choose a new name, Stush.
<@Cait> That's what courts are for.
<Aintaer> I thought those were for suing people.
<Stush> I should change my name to CAIT
<Stush> And you'll be like "That's my name!" and i'll be like "IT'S LEGAL, BABY" and i'll throw the certificate at you and explode in a massive fireball.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: James Edward Smith on May 20, 2008, 12:39:33 PM
Quote from: Captain_Teddy - Comment made on an in-house Battle Field Heros interview
Nice game and nice looks.
It’s an pity that its reales first in the summer.WHY NOT NOW.
Ohh god what i wana play this game.
My computer is really slow so i can’t have a real game like Conter Strike.So this game will be perfect.I fixed so all my “happy shooting” friends going to play this game.
Everybodie says the same thing:

This game looks amazing fun.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 20, 2008, 01:31:11 PM
I wanted to play Battlefield Heroes for like a couple seconds until I realized it was "Free 2 Play" and not "Free to play".  F2P never, ever, ever ends well.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on May 21, 2008, 02:26:37 PM
<Zaratustar> Early last year Colin Farrell attempted to block the distribution of a 13-minute sex tape he made with ex-girlfriend and Playboy  Playmate Nicole Narain.
<Zaratustar> Presumably because he didn't want to look like a bragger
<Stush> Man, why do celebrities always seem to TAPE it? And then complain when it gets out.
<Zaratustar> Stush: celebrities can only get it up when being taped
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on May 21, 2008, 03:02:27 PM
I read Colin Farrell, but I thought of Colin Quinn.  Which is just a hilarious image.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 01, 2008, 11:49:36 AM
During a baseball game...

Announcer: "Covidien, leading providers of life-saving cancer research."

Lady Duke: "As opposed to deadly cancer research?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 01, 2008, 12:57:23 PM
Quote
Perhaps one of David Niven's finest moments came when he had to present the 46th Annual Oscars ceremony, and a naked man appeared behind him, running across the stage. Not to be outclassed or nonplussed even for a moment, Niven came back with the one liner "Isn't it fascinating to think, that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life, is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on June 02, 2008, 08:47:58 AM
Quote from: http://dilbert.com/blog/entry/convention_report/
As I rounded a corner, I noticed a long line of people who were obviously waiting for a well-known author. I had about 15 minutes to spare, so I jumped in the line, hoping to see the celebrity before I had to go do my job. I listened to the people ahead of me and tried to figure out who I was waiting for. Man, was I disappointed. They were in line waiting for me. Luckily I am virtually invisible in crowds, so no one noticed me slink away and go to the head of the line to sign books.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on June 02, 2008, 09:58:01 AM
:wat: Scott Adams: Brilliant Dumbass
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 02, 2008, 10:41:37 AM
Announcer: "Covidien, leading providers of life-saving cancer research."

Lady Duke: "As opposed to deadly cancer research?"

I WILL CURE YOU, CANCER!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 04, 2008, 03:33:26 PM
[7:31] <MadMAxJr> Also Kazz, it is very tempting to try to join your game with some kind of hack and slash Phoenix Wright character.
[7:31] <Zaratustra> BISECTION!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 04, 2008, 04:33:52 PM
[7:31] <MadMAxJr> Also Kazz, it is very tempting to try to join your game with some kind of hack and slash Phoenix Wright character.
[7:31] <Zaratustra> BISECTION!

I WILL CURE YOU, CANCER!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on June 11, 2008, 07:16:59 PM
Quote from: 4chan's /ck/
http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z284/Nikumatic/whitecastle.jpg

So you buy 100 hamburgers at once and don't even get $1 off? That seems a bit stingy.

WHO THE FUCK ORDERS 100 BURGERS?

This should provide ample nourishment for the Dr. Who marathon.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 11, 2008, 10:29:00 PM
(http://kazz.rooms.cwal.net/laytonicon.png) IT'S YOU!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on June 11, 2008, 10:42:35 PM
:victory: I have been solved! What a tweest!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on June 12, 2008, 12:18:29 AM
Once you notice the relationship between Whitecastle's nutritional information and Arc's overwhelming girth, the puzzle is quite simple!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 15, 2008, 07:57:57 PM
kazztawdal (11:55:46 PM): fuck kobe
kazz's mom (11:56:04 PM): up the ass
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 15, 2008, 08:03:28 PM
It works on multiple levels!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 17, 2008, 11:18:21 PM
<Mr_Saturn> ha ha
<Mr_Saturn> thread on /v/ "THERE SHOULD BE A WWI GAME"
<Mr_Saturn> it could be a text adventure
<Mr_Saturn> >wait
<Mr_Saturn> >wait
<Mr_Saturn> >wait
<Mr_Saturn> >Go over the top
<Mr_Saturn> >YOU ARE DEAD
<Mr_Saturn> for a similar experience, play on 2fort
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 19, 2008, 05:44:19 PM
[9:29] <Moebius> They already have special rape units, but they're kind of like "Okay so they're raping them, can we do anything about that?"
[9:30] <Moebius> Which is not to say they would do anything about it if they were just shooting them
[9:30] <Moebius> So, yeah.
[9:30] <Zaratustra> the Beauties will hump you to death if you let them
[9:31] <Zaratustra> no I do not have anything useful to add to this conversation and am just letting my flow of senseless ideas gush forth
[9:31] <Dretheli2> so just like the rest of us
[9:31] <Moebius> That's how we do here.
[9:31] <Zaratustra> I know
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on June 24, 2008, 11:44:08 AM
<Suibeom> Brass instruments are incredibly weird.
<Aintaer> They make sound.
<Suibeom> It's easier to makes sound with strings. Or even reeds.
<Suibeom> Brass instruments make sound with your face
<Aintaer> Suibeom: it's easier to make sounds with your ass.
<Aintaer> Kabbage's ass, most specifically, there being an ample supply of it.
<Suibeom> More ass means more sound.
<Joxam> its a cleaner sound
<Joxam> Not really more, just more range.
<Joxam> with a well defined tone.
<Suibeom> Joxam are you talking about brass or ass?
<Joxam> ...
<Joxam> I'm not sure
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 25, 2008, 03:47:51 PM
So my mother's getting into Final Fantasy for some reason.  Just the CGs, not the actual game.  She actually had no idea that I was working for the company that made them and was kind of surprised when I reminded her.  Anyway, she hadn't seen 12, so I started pulling up some screenshots of Vaan for her.

MOM: He kinda looks like somebody.  Some kinda rock star or something.
ME: David Bowie?
MOM: Maybe a really young David Bowie.
ME: I think all the guys from these games look like some version of David Bowie.  Here, let's find a screenshot that isn't in-game...
*pulls up a CG closeup*
MOM: OH!  I know who he looks like!
ME: Who?
MOM: Chris Crocker!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 26, 2008, 01:19:58 PM
MOM: ARGH!
ME: What?
MOM: I finally got my music video done, got all the scenes, all the timing perfect and everything, and at the very end look what I did.
*credits scroll by*
ME: Huh.  Did I... did I just read that right?
MOM: Anal Fantasy X.  I misspelled it.
ME: That's... not a misspelling, Mom.  How did you do that?
MOM: I don't know!  I was just thinking about it!
ME: Okay, Mom?  Just so you know, I'm going to have to post this conversation on the Internet now.  And it's going to answer a lot of questions for a lot of people.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 27, 2008, 11:58:45 AM
MadMAxJr (3:51:46 PM): Scrooge was a terrible DM.  He liked high level encoutners, but never gave any treasure.

MadMAxJr (3:52:29 PM): He was to be visited by three Ghosts of D&D, 1st, 2nd, and the 3/3.5 conjoined ghost twins.

MadMAxJr (3:54:20 PM): After a visit with the 1st ghost, both the Ghost and Scrooge came to agree that the game had some serious issues back then, and god did they actually wear that in the 70s?  Ugh.

MadMAxJr (3:55:36 PM): The ghost of 2nd introduced the plague of DMs who felt battlemats were irrelevant and entire sessions could be done with purely descriptive combat, leading to utter confusion.  Also what the fuck was up with racial level limits and rogues getting XP for every gold touched?  Wizards got XP for CASTING?  Guess what they did with leftover spells at the end of the day.  And then the ghost sighs and teaches scrooge nothing telling him to go on.

kazztawdal (3:56:03 PM): Really they were making things worse

MadMAxJr (3:56:07 PM): The 3/3.5 twins constantly argue with one another about what triggers an attack of opportunity, but they were crushed under the weight of their own splatbooks.

MadMAxJr (3:56:24 PM): In the end, scrooge learns nothing of value, and continues to be a bad DM.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: MadMAxJr on June 28, 2008, 09:56:41 PM
[00:51] Kayin: Okay. Seriously. I was just jerking off to a 3d porn game and at the moment of my own orgasm, my computer crashes with crazy heat sirens. It was incredible.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 30, 2008, 08:29:48 PM
<@Vance> Lost Planet was damn pretty on the PS3. The clothing materials were seriously worked on
<Arekusu> I've only played LP's demo, but I really liked it
<Arekusu> Lost Planet Clooneys Edition is just actual reason for me to buy it.
<Arekusu> .
<Arekusu> Colonies*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on June 30, 2008, 08:37:01 PM
in b4 arc
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 01, 2008, 09:48:51 PM
<Dork 1> If I wanted to make Star Wars t-shirts for events, what images am I allowed to use?
<Dork 1> And what would absolutly need to be on the shirts?
<Dork 2> image of the witch king along with the text, "These Are The Voyages..."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Saturn on July 02, 2008, 03:31:57 AM
starcraft 2 looks great, wish blizzard deviated more, try ground control/battlezone first person gameplay -Fallout 3 producer Ashley Cheng

 :facepalm:

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on July 02, 2008, 04:18:02 AM
"add some caves"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 02, 2008, 11:23:56 AM
Hunters game session 1 quotes (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=930.msg20055#msg20055)

they're awesome
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 02, 2008, 07:04:15 PM
It has apparently been longer than I thought since I've tried to flirt, I forgot how to not suck at it. The store I used to work at just hired a new female. Word was she was cute, so after closing up, me and one of the guys from my new store go down to check her out and see how the other store is doing.

John: So we can't really mess around as much, since she can't take a joke

New Girl: Don't listen to John, I can take a joke, and actually be pretty mean myself

I turn without missing a beat, and would be plenty proud in another situation
Me: What was that, fatty?

The rest of the night: awkward silence



Director's note: she was not fat.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on August 02, 2008, 07:14:12 PM
:oh: He said it with so much conviction. Back to binge vomiting for me!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 02, 2008, 07:18:38 PM
One time, I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine.  I was teasing about something and I said "Yeah, well you're ffffffdumb."

And she guessed, correctly, that I was going to say "fat," but that I didn't because she actually is fat.  I didn't reply.  She was upset for the rest of the night.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on August 02, 2008, 07:55:39 PM
I did this exact same thing to a somewhat heavyset friend of mine, early high school. Had this needlessly convoluted joke with another person which dictated that whenever you found yourself bested in an argument, you were obligated to stammer out "BECAUSE YOU'RE FAT" and turn away in a huff. When the same thing happened in fatfriend's company, I didn't abort to "DUMB" until I was already halfway "FAAA".

He merely stared at me for a few seconds before uttering an open-mouth, frozen-lip monotone "ihateyouuu". I would regret this more if it wasn't always amazingly funny when I think back on it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on August 02, 2008, 09:07:15 PM
I just avoid having fat friends.  So, Kazz, fuck you, fatty!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 06, 2008, 09:52:55 PM
Yeah well you're fffffffffffffffffffffffuck penguins
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on August 07, 2008, 05:11:42 AM
Me from 5 days ago is totally burned.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 08, 2008, 11:33:27 PM
I know that he doesn't even come here but this was too priceless.

[3:24] <Vance> If they have resorts like Disney World in Florida I'll have to grab a broad and make it an overnighter. Those are prime sexing beds.

 :mikey: GRAB THAT BROAD, BIG GUY
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 08, 2008, 11:34:53 PM
Apparently he comes anywhere in the United States.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on September 10, 2008, 01:12:00 AM
<JDigital> Guys, I just got off the phone with lead ion's grandmother. She was in a particle collision with another lead ion


:wuv:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on September 30, 2008, 02:41:36 PM
"Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand it. But if they called everything divine which they do not understand, why, there would be no end of divine things."
- Hippocrates
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 01, 2008, 01:06:09 AM
<Stush> My coworker almost got himself fired today, too, the boss rang while he was working to ask why there was so much stuff down there still, and he covered up the phone and said "I'm sick of this shit" and the boss heard him.
<Stush> But he just got told off.
<Stush> It's fun when the boss lives in some kind of other universe where us loading bay people can summon trolleys out of portals and banish pallets to the dimension of storage.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 01, 2008, 09:40:58 AM
No pallets? he's been playing too many FPSes then.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 04, 2008, 11:12:48 PM
Four years ago, Kazz called me a smug cunt!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 04, 2008, 11:20:15 PM
<Roger> This is IRC.  Funny comes once in a blue moon.  Which leads to bastard moon children...but you get my point.

<Sharkey> I've played Nexus back when it was in beta and they didn't rig everything so you couldn't fuck people up.
<Sharkey> Sure, you could never harm people directly, but you could poison them down to 1 hp and then summon them in front of an angry squirrel.
<Sharkey> Even more fun was turning into a fox or wolf and running around in the fox caves and calling people fuckers when they tried to hit me.
<Sharkey> "OW FUCK! Okay, let me go and I'll give you three wi-OW! FUCKER!"
<Sharkey> Then I'd kill them.
<Sharkey> "D00D DONT GO IN THEIR THERIES A FOX THAT CAN CAST BOLT"

<Sharkey> Crashing through the sky! Comes a fearful cry! Al-Quaeda! (Al-Quaeda!)

<Xerox> My first kid won't have a name, he'll have to pick his own at the name selection menu.

<xZaratustra> me happily frolics around in the tiled flowerbed
* xZaratustra happily frolics around in the tiled flowerbed, stupid keyboard
<xZaratustra> the / is in the place of the : and the : is on the c-cedilla
<Random-Guy> Word up, yo.

*** Topic is 'Do not attempt to fuck the catgirl. That is impossible. Instead, you must try to realize the truth: there are no catgirls. Then you will find that it is not the catgirl you fuck. It is only yourself.'
*** Set by Brentai on Wed Aug 13 04:39:09

<Xerox> !quote *thor*
<myew> (107) <Gothor> So basically there are just a bunch of Zar and Brentai quotes? [Date: 22 Dec 2002] (1/1 matches found)
<Xerox> ...That's it? God, you are so unfunny...
<Gothor> !quote *xerox*
<myew> (38) <Xerox> Hey, I can fit my fist inside my own ass!

<Brentai> Fellate monster, you don't belong in this asshole.

<Squizzle> 2d4+1 out of 1d10 doctors recommend not taking Doom from terra during their D&D game

<Zaratustra> does anyone here use Maya?
<Cait> In?
<Zaratustra> What do you mean, 'In'?
<Cait> Or is Maya a program?
<Zaratustra> YEs. It is a program.
<Cait> Ah.
<Steerpike> What does it do?
<Zaratustra> Pushes old people down stairs.
<Steerpike> Sign me up.


<Sharkey> I'm all about Kuja. The whole "He has a tail, but HE HIDES IT" think didn't just break the gay boundary. It busted through the homofag wall like a Koolaid Man full of hot cum.

<terra> I'm totally cocking here, cock. Give me another cock! I can cock!
<Sharkey> Can we cock? What's up, doc? Can we cock?
<Kain`Ashbone> cock, we can't put you back in the cock. Its too late in the cock, and the cock is cocking too much cocks.
<terra> We can cock all night cock.
<Brentai> Cock you all.
<Lobst> I refuse to participate in this cockanery.
<Kain`Ashbone> I love having a cock. It is like having a friend who always wants to play.
<Brentai> ...
<terra> A cock is ME COCKING YOU WITH MY COCK UNTIL COCK COMES OUT.
<Kain`Ashbone> Of cock, not cock, that would be cocked up.

<Mediocrity> #finalfight made me crave the cock in ten days flat!
<Mediocrity> It'll work for you, too! Just dial 1-800-COCK-IN-THE-ASS!

<PhoenixUltima> It'd be damn neato if the next GTA let you be a drug lord, complete with your own lackeys.
<PhoenixUltima> A kind of Drug Lord Sim 2000, maybe.
<Brentai> Complete with lackeys who turn around and shoot you in the face.
<MightyQuinn> What about whores? What use would it be without whores?

<sede> Fort has butt-disease.
<Mediocrity> Hemmorhoids?
<sede> No thanks, I already ate.

<Gothor> See how addicted i am? I'm *still here* and I *didn't even know it*... it's like the guy who drinks three beers without realizing
<Random-Guy> #finalfight. Tastes great. Less filling.
<memo|war3> #finalfight -- tastes like wet sawdust and will probably turn your pee orange.
<Zaratustra> Just like cheetos!

* KazzTracy chalks up the 5784th cock joke this week.
<Random-Guy> What troubles me is that you're counting.
<sede> That is how we keep track of rank around here
<KOS_MOS> what worries me is that you've not just made 5784 cock jokes.  is that you've spent that much time thinking about them
<Random-Guy> Not so much thinking about them as thinking up new and fresh jokes about cock.
<KazzTracy> KOS, your grasp of cockology is lacking.
<Kazz> We here at #finalfight Cockology Laboratories, we find many different things to say and do with cocks.
<Random-Guy> Geez. You just know a class on Cockology would be hands-on.
<aderax> It's more of a fine art.  You don't really need to be educated.
<Kazz> You know how many unwitting heterosexual guys would sign up hoping that girls would be there?

<Sharkey> When I was a kid I honestly thought that cobra commander was the lead singer for AC DC.
<Brentai> I can imagine Cobra Commander prancing around in tight pants singing "I'M TNT!  I'M DYNAMITE!"

*** Wizerd has joined #finalfight
<PesutoTheBold> Wizerd needs education badly.

<The_Zarchitect> I am the Zarchitect. I created the channel. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
<NeoBain> Why is my cock so great?
<The_Zarchitect> Your cock is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.
<The_Zarchitect> You will now be required to select from the Matrix 16 females, 7 males, 22 livestock animals, 13 small mammals and one duck.

<Brentai> You know, it doesn't take too much time idling in some other MUCK or chat channel to realize how none-fuckheaded #finalfight is as a whole.  Group hug.
<Nimduin> Fuck you, Brentai.
<Brentai> With exceptions of course.

<Sharkey> I woke up this mornin' *Ba na na na NA*
<Sharkey> My guitar was pregnant. *Ba na na na NA*
<Sharkey> I can't think of any more lyrics because that made me blow coke out my nose *Ba na na na NA*

<terra> .-.
<McFrugal> terra- I think you mean ._.?
<Roger> No, she fell over.
<Brentai> :| ._. |: .-. :| ._.
<Roger> Brentai, however, is on fire, and doing Stop Drop Roll.

<Foxie> Myew, suck my enourmus cock
<myew> Foxie: Can i suck your 10" cock?
<Foxie> myew, YES!
<myew> Foxie: No, you eat a bowl of dick.

<Mediocrity> Is Ireland really just one big pub?
<Cait> There's a river.
<Cait> So two.


<NotCricket> What really scares me is that in a hundred years or so, people are going to start moving into space.
<NotCricket> They're going to be getting together in self-selected groups in isolated spacecraft.
<NotCricket> They're probably going to get together with the same sorts of people they go to conventions to meet...
<NotCricket> ...and then they're going to colonize other worlds.
<NotCricket> Imagine a whole planet decended from furries.


*** Sharkey changes topic to 'My other car is a dead baby.'
<Thom> My other dead baby is a Mercedes.
<Thom> ...is called. fuck.
<Sharkey> No, that was right the first time.
<Thom> it makes more sense as "is called". although Mercedes is such an uncommon name it hardly works.
<Sharkey> Yes, but it's not funny that way.
<Thom> OK.
<Thom> My other dead baby is a Mercedes.
<SailorPsychick> Sometimes you have to sacrifice clarity for humor, eh?
<Sharkey> See, "My other dead baby is a mercades" conjures up images of you driving around in a dead-baby-car, looking out of its windshield eyes, with a little mercades hood ornament on its nose.
<terra> it does?
<Sharkey> Well, it does for me.
<terra> you should seek help.

<Zaratustra> Don't worry, Sharkey. If you visit me, I'll make sure you're kept in a cool, dry and -caged- place.
<Sharkey> I'm not going to Brazil. You guys have monkeys and vampire dickfish and Christopher Walken and shit.
<Zaratustra> and women in leather and whips roaming the streets.
<Sharkey> And hosting children's TV.
<Zaratustra> It's such a dangerous place I level up twice on my way to work.


<Sharkey> I think Clive Barker's Undying was underrated.
<Brentai> Bob Barker's Undying would be better.
<Brentai> A fissure to Hell would open up and you'd hear a demonic voice saying "COME ON DOWN!"

<Sharkey> Conveyor belt with arms. Pushing the lever down and right makes the first arm grab and squeeze a cat. A frog comes out of its throat. The second arm squeezes the frog until a carrot with a face comes out. The third arm squeezes the carrot until it vomits on your head.

<Sharkey> Badguys with cylindrical heads bug me. Mr Freeze, IG-88, Mr Gone. They all just rub me the wrong way.

<eloH> Wow. You must be easily amused.
<Doom> What the fuck is great about being hard to amuse?
<Doom> Do you watch the Daily Show and spend the entire time being upset?

guess what i found
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 04, 2008, 11:43:40 PM
An echo that's been buzzing in my head for years.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 05, 2008, 01:02:02 AM
<eloH> Wow. You must be easily amused.
<Doom> What the fuck is great about being hard to amuse?
<Doom> Do you watch the Daily Show and spend the entire time being upset?

Guildenstern does!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 05, 2008, 01:56:18 AM
I have all 83 pages of it.

Can I post them all in small doses.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on October 05, 2008, 06:17:23 AM
(I certainly wouldn't object.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 05, 2008, 06:31:22 AM
Oh. For a minute there, I thought the schism had healed and we could go back to the way it was in the dream-time or whatever.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on October 05, 2008, 12:44:26 PM
I have all 83 pages of it.

Can I post them all in small doses.
If there's that much, it might be better to make another thread.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 05, 2008, 01:01:57 PM
or make a website or something
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 05, 2008, 01:36:25 PM
or make a webcomic or something

It'd be better than 90% of the comics out there.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 05, 2008, 01:40:13 PM
Been there.  Done that.  Twice.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 05, 2008, 01:42:49 PM
I remember one of those, actually. I've been here too long.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 05, 2008, 05:04:05 PM
DO IT.  MORE FAILED PROJECTS FOR THE FIRE.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 05, 2008, 05:22:58 PM
::D:

<NotCricket> I think asian women are attractive because they're more portable.

<Roger> Everytime misfortune befalls Dogstar, an angel gets a boner.
<Dogstar> There's a cherubim with a zweihander in his pants, then.


<Zaratustra3> Hey, me and Tark just had a good idea.
<Zaratustra3> make a new Oregon Trail and use the Max Payne engine for the hunting part
<Zaratustra3> wheeeeeeaaaaaaaaaooow thump thump   thump thump   thump
thump  moooooooo *BANG* bullet flying *POW* moo*thump*
<Zaratustra3> wheeeeeeaaaaaaoooooow time resumes
<Zaratustra3> A thief came during the night and stole 6 oxen. I killed him.
<Zaratustra3> But still I could not sleep.

<Kazz> Anybody see that Sesame Street movie thing where Elmo saved Christmas?
<JDigital> No, although it sounds familiar.
<Kazz> Turns out he completely and utterly fucked Christmas by wishing they could have it every day.  So suddenly there are 365 Jesus Christs and nobody could get them all straight. It completely fucked up the Nativity scene, for one, to have Mary's vagina wider than a goddamn cement truck, baby Jesuses spewing out left and right. What saved Christmas was that reindeer flying around the Earth to take the world back in time.
<JDigital> ...
<Kazz> But the REALLY fucked thing was that when he got back, everyone was like "GO ELMO!  YOU SAVED CHRISTMAS!" when they didn't even KNOW about it because THEY HADN'T EXPERIENCED THE TIMELINE WHERE ELMO FUCKED UP CHRISTMAS

<Squizzle> Know what's fun?
<Squizzle> Waiting for convenience stores to open, and going to them in pajamas and a bathrobe.
<Squizzle> It feels so comfortable: Early morning, comfy wearin's.
<memo> No I do not. I sit in my house all day staring at the walls, unable to convince myself to find anything to do.
<memo> DAMN YOU AND YOUR ANSWERING YOUR OWN QUESTIONS BEFORE I CAN FINISH MY UNNECESARY SARCASTIC BULLSHIT NONSENSE

<Silversong> Anybody ever wonder what would happen if we were suddenly flung into a weird dimension and we were all physically in a room together?
<Brentai> I'd have to pull my pants up real quick, most likely.

<Mediocrity> I'm just here for the dick jokes and gaming discussion.
* McDohl plays Star Ocean 2.
* terra plays with cock.
<Roger> Happy?

<JDigital> myew your myewtroller on the myewround.
<myew> JDigital:  The fuck are you on?

<Brentai> Real sex doesn't hold a candle to porn.
<Brentai> I just can't convince any women to grow penises and have sex with cats.
<memo> You just keep looking, Brent.

<Brentai> Chopping up girls who never experienced the joy of puberty and stuffing them in my suitcase because it gets my rocks off?  Hmm.  Well, at least I'm no FURRY!  Ha ha ha!
<Brentai> ...okay, you got me.  The little girls were dressed up as Lola Bunny.  I am sick.
<Brentai> Furries have a good defense, though.  "You want to fuck your CAT?"  "No, I want to fuck a person who LOOKS like my cat."  "...I want to say that's still beyond the pale, but then I piss on women after handcuffing them to the bed.  Good morrow."

<sei|idle> the first thing in the game i do is throw a chicken at a horse
<sei|idle> i can not, however, throw the horse at the chicken.  disappointment.
<sei|idle> the chicken is stuck in the horse.  i cannot seem to repeat the effect.
<Brentai> So there's a... cock stuck in your ass?
<PeteCooper> huzzah!


<Sharkey> ...Brent.  Stop being funny.  You're pressuring me.

<Fortinbras_MkII> So bored.
<NotCricket> Maybe they can put an anti-boredom chip in the MkIII.
<Fortinbras_MkII> That thing's gonna be a piece of crap.
<Fortinbras_MkII> Don't get it.  Wait for Fortinbras Model 5.
<Fortinbras_MkII> I'm like Winamp.
<Sharkey> I had a really irregular heatbeat when I woke up this morning.
<Sharkey> Sounded like a drum solo.
<Sharkey> Boom booma thumpada booma booma booma boom. Boom da da thumbada
<Fortinbras_MkII> Some of the model ones had that.  It goes away after you eat something usually.
<Sharkey> It still works alright if you turn me on my side. I think they make some kind of stand for that.


<McDohl> Prepare for trouble!
<puchiko> And make it 8" thick!
<McDohl> To battle good wherever it is found!
<Sharkey> To knock your dick into the ground!
<McDohl> To denounce the evils of happiness and joy!
<Sharkey> To fuck a girl and rape a boy!
<McDohl> McDohl!
<Sharkey> Sharkey!
<sleepyhng> Wow.
<Cheesegod> It's like you rehearsed it.
<McDohl> Team Ramtheass, uNFing at the speed of light!
<sleepyhng> That was good.
<Sharkey> Surrender now or lick my tights!

<Sharkey> Hey, brentai. I dreamt we were battling in a shitty early 90s vr game. You were a giant duck-dinosaur thing and I ran you through with Cloud's sword. I spent about five minutes reaming you with it, too. My mother was appalled.
<Brentai> ..how the hell did you know the Duck-Dragon was me?
<Sharkey> I just did. Who the hell else would use such a shitty model?

<Fortinbras> What's an AMV?
<Kazz> anime music video
<JDigital> Anime m
<JDigital> yeh
<Fortinbras> ...That's horrible.
<Fried_Octopus> Like Nyo is War.
<Roger> FIRST YOU TAKE A LOT OF EVA FOOTAGE
<Roger> THAN YOU PUT IT TO A LINKEN PARK SONG
<Roger> BOIL
<Roger> AND IN 3 SECONDS, YOU HAVE UTTER CRAP
<Roger> This has been "Cooking with Roger".

<Moctobot> WARNING
<Moctobot> A HUGE BATTLESHIP IS APPROACHING
<Moctobot> CODENAME: NO FUNNY
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> A BOSS IS APPROACHING
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> BEAUTIFUL GREAT SHARKEY
* Mediocrity savestates.
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> ATTACKS- LOVE LOVE DANCING
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> WHIRL KICK
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> MAGNIFICENT SHINING FUCKMISSILE
<Fuht_Yu> HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD IT BACK?
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> CAN YOU SMELL THAT? THAT'S THE SMELL OF DEATH!
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> (POKE)
* Mediocrity starts blasting away at Sharkey with his radical R-Type ship.
<Fuht_Yu> Puff?
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> STIIIIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEEEE FINGAAAAAAAAAA!
* Mediocrity dodges.
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> Blam. KABAM. PAFFF. etc.
* Mediocrity powers up a shot and fires it right into Sharkey's Shining Fuckcenter.
<Detonator> YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE VILE RED SHARKEY.  CONSIDER YOURSELF A HERO.
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> i will not die as long as there is evil in the heart of #finalfight puff
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> GRRR ZRRRR
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> GRAM
<Moctobot> YOUR CLEARTIME WAS 6:10
* SharkeyNeraSharkey takes off his clothes
<Moctobot> ITEM COLLECTION 27%
<Moctobot> SEE YOU NEXT MISSION
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> Pray for a true peace in #finalfight.
<Detonator> Thank you for players!
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> PRODUCE: BRENTAI
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> SOUND: BUNBUN
<SharkeyNeraSharkey> SPECIAL THANKS: YUKI'S PAPA
<Moctobot> SPECIAL THANKS: SUPER #FINALFIGHT CLUB
<Detonator> AND YOU!! 

<Elfin> You say you love me. Then I see you with other men. Not to mention barnyard animals. If you want to be a slut, that's fine, just don't expect me to hang around and get hurt again.
<Joxam> I ONLY CARE ABOUT YOU!
<Joxam> I SWARE!
<Joxam> That was all a misunderstanding..
<Elfin> You say that in between mouthfuls of Geo's dick. What am I to believe?
<Joxam> Believe... in.. DESTINY!
<Elfin> Okay, that works.

<NotCricket> Lately, though, I just get this feeling when I'm lying in bed that SOMETHING is in the room, standing over me.
<Nyphur> Freaky. Maybe you're insane.
* Roger comes out of the monitor while NotCricket dozes
* Roger comes over to NotCricket's bed...his one bloodshot eye visible between his straight hair staring at NotCricket's prone, vulnerable figure...raising a bloodied, pale, ghostly hand up...
* Roger OMG FAP FAP FAP

* Roger stabs the closest person.
* Brentai dies.
* Spram whacks off furiously.

[14:57] <Fried_Octopus> TANKS ON THE MOON THEY FLY THROUGH SPACE
[14:57] <Moctobot> heheh
[14:58] <Joxam> TANKS ON THE MOON RAPE YOUR FACE!
[14:58] <Fried_Octopus> TANKS ON THE MOON GO TO SLEEP
[14:58] <Joxam> TANKS ON THE MOON DON'T MAKE A PEEP!
[14:59] * Moctobot guitar solos.
[14:59] * Joxam drums the fuck out.
[14:59] <Fried_Octopus> MOON ON THE TANKS IN SOVIET RUSSIA
[14:59] <Joxam> I CAN'T RHYME ANYTHING WITH FUCKING RUSSIA!
[14:59] <Moctobot> ON MOON TANKS THE IN INDEPENDENT PRUSSIA!
[15:00] <Moctobot> JOXAM YOU FUCKED IT UP
[15:00] <Joxam> Hey mocto.. you ain't in this shit.. this isn't how we lay the fucking beat down.
[15:00] <Roger> Prussia rhymes with Russia.
[15:01] <Moctobot> because it's basically the same word, but yeah.  They do rhyme.
[15:01] <Fried_Octopus> TANKS ON THE MOON THEY REALLY LOVEYA
[15:02] <Fried_Octopus> THAT SORTA KINDA RHYMES WITH RUSSIA
[15:02] <Moctobot> and yes, if you're really stretching, smooshing words together all willy-nilly works in a pinch.
[15:02] <Fried_Octopus> :D

<MadMAxJr> I want to fight with a giant stone pillar.  Like Wan-Fu.
<Roger> Wish I could show you Taishi Ci's Level 11, Max.  Giant Dual stone pillars.
<MadMAxJr> Dual stone pillars?
<Roger> It's what they look right.
<Roger> ..like
<Roger> 6 foot long stone clubs.
<MadMAxJr> This is a dynasty warriors guy?
<Roger> Yah yah.  The weapons are realistic, but when you get the ultimate they get comically huge.
<Roger> Yah, Max.  Wei Yan, for example, uses a 9 foot long Double voulge.
<MadMAxJr> .... double voulge?  That's not practical.
<Roger> Ma Chao's spear:  Starts out 7'5.  Ends up being 11'.  That's FOUR EXTRA INCHES
<Brentai> Ahem.
<Brentai> ...heh heh...
<Roger> ANCIENT CHINESE HERBAL REMEDY
<Brentai> ...heh heh heh...
<Roger> MAKE YOUR SPEAR FOUR EXTRA INCHES


<Nyphur> DIX has a point. That kind of muscle development at that age isn't something to be celebrated. It's unnatural and as such, the body isn't designed to do it. It's going to cause him unforseen problems in the future.
<Nyphur> Good. He deserves it.
<MonkeyDLuffy> ...?
<MonkeyDLuffy> Nyphur, did you just reply to what you just typed?
<Nyphur> I did, yes. This kind of thing happens at 4AM.

<Kazz> I like how Unreal Tournament is way better than Unreal.
<Kazz> Like how Casablanca Tournament was better than Casablanca.
<Random-Guy> "In all the servers in all the clans...she had to join mine."
<Kazz> "Frag the usual suspects."
<SoulBain> "Damnit, you can flag cap for her you can do it for me."
<Kazz> "I am shocked, SHOCKED to find that camping is going on in this casino!"

<hngkong> MadMAxJr, I am attracted to a guy and wear women's clothing, but I am quite heterosexual.

<Xerox> Gregory Peck died!?
<Xerox> ...Who's Gregory Peck again?
<Kazz> apparently he played Atticus Finch
<Romosome> He played Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird
<Romosome> and he was fucking awesome at it
<Kazz> Ohhh.  I thought he played Atticus Finch in Terminator 2.
<Dimastines> You remember where the t1000 and Atticus Finch got in a fist fight?
<Dimastines> That shit was awesome!
<Kazz> And Atticus was like, "I don't want to have to shoot you.  I'm against that sort of thing now."
<Kazz> And the T-1000 was like "DIE NIGGER LOVER"
<Kazz> And Atticus was like "BANG"
<Romosome> and he felt bad about it afterwards
<Dimastines> He was upset that the world was not yet ready.
<Romosome> and then John Connors snuck into the old radley house and tore his pants
<Dimastines> Not ready for his special brand of justice!
<Kazz> Atticus Finch was like Vash the Stampede only cooler.

~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Nyphur> myew, I LOVED THAT FOAM. GO DIE.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <myew> Nyphur: My penis, though somewhat limp now, loved the feel of his hands pulling my naked body toward him, felt his chest and his amazing friends page.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Nyphur> Oh my.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ * Roger (roger@********.net) has joined #finalfight
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Lyrai> ...
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Nyphur> Roger, I blame you. What have you been doing to myew's penis?
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Lyrai> myew just grew a cock and roger masturbated it? damn
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Roger> The usual.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <myew> Lyrai: He's done it a week now.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Lyrai> ...
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Nyphur> A week? Fuck. Roger, get a ladfriend and stop harassing our bot.
~Mana Holy Day, March 21st ~ <Nyphur> *lady ... or lad, whichever :P

[08:41] <terra> I had a dream where they made a pill that they marketted as "Viagra for the ass".  It makes your ass capable of taking larger objects than normal.
[08:42] <terra> ...thing is, I found some at my dad's house.  and took some.  And then my dad told me to stop, unless I like getting things up the ass.
[08:43] <MightyQuinn> But you do, don't you?
[08:43] <terra> Well, I woke up after that
[08:44] <Sharkey> After getting things in the ass?
[08:44] <Sharkey> I bet the giver could have slept right through it.
[08:46] <Sharkey> "YOUR PITIFUL UNSTRETCHED HU-MAN ASSES ARE LIKE MERE CHANGE PURSES BEFORE ME"
[08:46] <Sharkey> Like, that's what he'd say, and shit.
[08:47] * terra sidles away from Sharkey a bit.
[08:47] <Sharkey> I bet you can't even fit a disassembled tent up there. Much less a coleman stove and a cooler full of meat an beer.
[08:48] <Sharkey> Didn't you learn anything in the scouts?
[08:48] <terra> Are you challenging me, small-ass?
[08:49] <Sharkey> No, I'm busy solving a rubik's cube with my colon.

<Roger> ACTION:  Make sandwich
<Roger> ACTION:  Eat sandwich
<Roger> PROCESSING...
<Roger> ...
<Roger> ...
<Roger> ...
<Rush`N`Attack> SHIT!
<McFrugal> ACTION: Shit
<McFrugal> PROCESSING...
<McFrugal> ...
<McFrugal> etc.
<AlsoCocac> McFrugal, constipated?
<McFrugal> If it takes less than 5 seconds to finish there's something wrong.
<Roger> Summary of C:\windows\sandwich:  DELETED
<sede> You can't rush some things!
<Roger> Status of C:\taking\shit.zip : File transfer 15% complete.
<StarDonut> The wonders of wireless networking, eh, Rog?
<Roger> Yep.
<Roger> Can you hear me now?
<Roger> Good.
<Roger> Can you hear me now?
<Roger> Good.
<Roger> Can you hear me now?
<JDigital> Good.
<McFrugal> Can you hear me now?  Hello?  CRAP
<MonkeyDLuffy> HELP OPERATOR, I'M RETARDED!
<Roger> Please hit the Pound key.
<Roger> Please hit the Star key.
<Roger> Please hit your face into the pavement.
<MonkeyDLuffy> My name is Gomgo. Please the sandwich.
<Roger> Error:  Can not locate C:\windows\sandwich

<MonkeyDLuffy> I want one of those shirts with the Shoryuken on it..
<Roger> Jesus does a Shoryuken?
<MonkeyDLuffy> No, it's just a picture of Ryu/Ken/Akuma doing a Shoryuken.
<MonkeyDLuffy> You can't really tell who it is, because it's a white silhouette.
<JDigital> I'd pay money for a shirt of Jesus doing the shoryuken.

<Roger> Carpe Spermophilus.
<Roger> Mexicanus
<Roger> Yah, that's the way.
<sede> myew, light my fire
<myew> sede: My name is pierre, and i had to walk it the rest of the way home in like 120 degree heat. Then, less than 10 seconds after my tire goes flat, the batteries in my little black book :3.
<Liquidmentality> what the hell was that?
<Roger> "Seize the Mexican Ground Squirrel"
<Roger> In Latin.

<Roger|Dulce> Also, I NEED GOD'S THEME SONG
<Roger|Dulce> Terra, you have the Shadow Hearts soundtrack?
<terra> Roger|Dulce: no
<Roger|Dulce> Blast it.
<Roger|Dulce> Oh.  I was wrong.  It's not God.
<Roger|Dulce> It's Meta-God.
<Roger|Dulce> Obviously, God has fused with Meta Knight into some EVEN MORE omnipotent being.
<Zaratustra> Omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, and now WINGS and a SWORD

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Detonator on October 05, 2008, 07:40:44 PM
<Kazz> Anybody see that Sesame Street movie thing where Elmo saved Christmas?
<JDigital> No, although it sounds familiar.
<Kazz> Turns out he completely and utterly fucked Christmas by wishing they could have it every day.  So suddenly there are 365 Jesus Christs and nobody could get them all straight. It completely fucked up the Nativity scene, for one, to have Mary's vagina wider than a goddamn cement truck, baby Jesuses spewing out left and right. What saved Christmas was that reindeer flying around the Earth to take the world back in time.
<JDigital> ...
<Kazz> But the REALLY fucked thing was that when he got back, everyone was like "GO ELMO!  YOU SAVED CHRISTMAS!" when they didn't even KNOW about it because THEY HADN'T EXPERIENCED THE TIMELINE WHERE ELMO FUCKED UP CHRISTMAS

Needs the followup quote "if Elmo and a magic fucking reindeer can save the day, tittyfucking can save the goddamn WEEK".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on October 05, 2008, 11:05:48 PM
I do not recall where tittyfucking came up in that discussion.  But I was really steamed about that elmo movie, let me tell you.

... I only saw that god damned thing because I was at a christmas party with goddamned babies.  stupid babies and their time travel.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on October 05, 2008, 11:15:41 PM
I believe the tittyfucking line is from another quote entirely, about a hentai movie where tittyfucking saved the day (ending with the line Det posted). I'd post it, but 0x22.com (http://0x22.com/) is just a blank page.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 05, 2008, 11:37:40 PM
<MightyJDigital> Doom++
<MightyCait> And Doom was one of the first Mightynauts.
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyDAH> Doom IS one of us
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyKarte> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!@
<MightyMax> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH
<MightyDAH> DAH
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyMax> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyDoom> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyDAH> DAH
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyMax> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<Romosome> HELP STUCK IN HOUSE WITHOUT FRIENDS
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyMax> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<Geothermal> Doom: Is this true.
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightyRosen> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyKarte> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<eloH> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
*** Signoff: eloH (Excess Flood)
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyGuild> DAH!
<MightyMax> STOP SPAMMING, ELOH
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
*** eloH (ghkr68@ny-tpprlk-cmts1e-139.albyny.adelphia.net) has joined channel #finalfight
<MightyKarte> DAH!
*** Romosome is now known as MightyRomo
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyMax> STOP SPAMMING, ELOH
<MightyRosen> DAH!
<MightyRomo> DAH?
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyDAH> DAH!
<MightyGuild> one of us
<Glames> I never come into #Finalfight and this is what I see. C-R-A-Z-Y!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyRomo> DAH
<MightyGuild> one of us
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyKarte> DAH!
<MightyGuild> one of us
<MightyMax> THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
*** Nyphur has left #Finalfight
<MightyMax> DAH!
<MightyGuild> Welcome, Romo.
<MightyJDigital> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyRomo> DOH
<OHakubi> ...and people say the Internet isn't intellectually stimulating.  Pshaw.
<MightyKarte> dah!
<MightyDetonator> DAH!
<MightySamuelMarston> DAH!
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyRomo> DAH!
*** eloH has left #finalfight
<MightyGuild> I'm having so much fun doing this.
<MightySamuelMarston> WE ARE LEGION
<MightyDoom> WOAH
<MightyAintaer> DAH!
<MightyRomo> FAH
<MightyDoom> LEGION HAS DONE IT
<MightyCait> Romo has joined us.
<MightyDoom> WE HAVE GOTTEN RID OF ELOH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on October 05, 2008, 11:44:29 PM
Shortly after this we all crowded into a private chan and BSed out a holy text we called "The Book of Legion." I think the premise was that eloH was Satan and we were chosen to defeat him.

...I miss eloH.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on October 06, 2008, 12:59:08 AM
I remember that. I made a screengrab!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 06, 2008, 10:56:15 AM
But I was really steamed about that elmo movie, let me tell you.

... I only saw that god damned thing because I was at a christmas party with goddamned babies.  stupid babies and their time travel.

All I know is the guy who plays Elmo was also Splinter in the first Ninja Turtle movie.

And is a six-foot-tall black man.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on October 06, 2008, 02:47:27 PM
...Iroh is still the best Splinter ever. :sadpanda:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on October 06, 2008, 02:49:26 PM
...Iroh is still the best Splinter ever. :sadpanda:

Mako was great and all, but he wasn't my favorite Splinter.

Oh, and I remember a Muppet special when I was a kid that focused on the puppeteers. Kevin Clash is an extremely talented man!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on October 06, 2008, 02:52:19 PM
Who IS your favorite Splinter, then?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on October 06, 2008, 03:09:03 PM
Who IS your favorite Splinter, then?

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/aett/look01.png)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/aett/look02.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on October 06, 2008, 03:10:39 PM
 :shifty: Where'd he go
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 06, 2008, 05:56:13 PM
<MikeSevigny> If you set it 1-7, doesn't that make it so there's nukes, but you can't get Missile Shield?  Because I tried that once and it was even worse than usual.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 06, 2008, 06:05:29 PM
[18:03] <@terra> Will you try to take me down, Roger?
[18:03] <MadMAxJr> Trick question, don't answer.
[18:03] * @terra chops MadMAxJr's head off.
[18:03] <Roger> Trick question...
[18:03] <Roger> MAx, You just gave me a great idea for a new topic.
[18:03] * MadMAxJr dies, to serve as a lesson for others.
[18:04] <@sei|pso> MadMAxJr may have died for our sins, but who will go down in the name of cos and tan?
[18:04] <Roger> Oh COME ON.
[18:04] <MadMAxJr> Arc will die in the name of tan. *drumroll*
[18:04] <Roger> Arc-tan?
[18:04] <Roger> I don't get it.

<Zaratustra> who would win, Lara Croft or Solid Snake?
<Brentai> Solid Snake would infiltrate from the rear entrance and penetrate deep into the enemy area.
<sede> !

<Sharkey> And when I get back we're gonna barbecue. FIRE and MEAT. I'll flip the burgers With My Penis.

<Moctobot> CAN WE PLEASE KILL THE "OMG SEX SUX" THREAD
<Brentai> Nope.  It contains my 2000th post.
<Brentai> Which is me telling somebody else to get a grip because he's complaining about not getting sex.
<Brentai> The irony busts through the very fabric of spacetime like a Kool-Aid Man full of dicks.
<Brentai> I don't know what I'm talking about either, that's how postmodern it is.

<Roger> JACKIE CHAN
<Roger> SHIGERU MIYAMOTO
<Roger> IN
<Roger> MY BANJO, MY FIST

<McDohl> We could play IRC pong.
<McDohl> |.
<Moctobot> .
<Moctobot> . |
<Moctobot> .|
<Moctobot> . |
<McFrugal> .
<McDohl> WTF
<McFrugal> c  .
<McFrugal> c.
<McFrugal> o
* McDohl powers up for the Super Turbo pong shot.
<McFrugal> munch munch
<McDohl> | / - \ | / - \ BOOM
<McDohl> | .....
<Moctobot> oh shi
<terra> I'm gonna kill you
<terra> Kill you all.

<Foxie> INTRODUCTION TO MY COCK
<Foxie> A GUIDE AROUND FOXIE'S COCK
<Foxie> BY FOXIEMOXIE
* terra sets mode: +b *!*oxiemoxie@*.ny325.east.verizon.net
* Foxie was kicked by terra (:|)
<Roger> It was a short piece.

<Donut[AFK]> They're big. They fly into things and hang out on doorsteps. They're all over the place. They make OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD NOISES that sound like a lawnmower in your ear if you're out where it's grassier.
<Donut[AFK]> And they stick to things they hit and stay there, because they're lazy and worthless.
<Donut[AFK]> They're like miniature flying PhoenixUltimas.

[04:21] <Esperath> The fucking helicopter alone was almost $18,000.
[04:22] <Xerox> Helicopter?
[04:22] <Esperath> Yeah, they were afraid I'd suffered spinal cord damage, so they rushed me.
[04:22] <Xerox> Oh. Still far from civilization, eh?
[04:22] <Esperath> 90 miles to Flagstaff Medical.
[04:23] <JDigital> $18k for a 90 mile helicopter ride? Jesus, I want in on this racket.
[04:23] <Donut[AFK]> Maybe it's a NUCLEAR HELICOPTER
[04:23] <Donut[AFK]> Powered by uranium and pure gold.
[04:23] <Elfin> DID ESPERATH DIE?
[04:23] <Elfin> OMG
[04:23] <Esperath> zomg yes :'(
[04:23] <Dimastines> Guys, I just got out of bed with Esperath's mom.
[04:23] *** Esperath is now known as Deaderath
[04:23] <Dimastines> I've got some bad news.
[04:24] <Deaderath> Did she give you the clap?
[04:24] <Dimastines> ESPERATH WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
[04:24] <Dimastines> DRUNKEN STD
[04:24] <Elfin> HOLY SHIT.
[04:24] <Deaderath> :(
[04:24] <Xerox> I like how that started! Best parody yet.
[04:25] <Elfin> I say we say a prayer for Esperath.
[04:25] <Elfin> Esperath, who art in heaven...
[04:25] <Xerox> *sniff* He died so young, and with so much more ahead for hi... well, he died young.
[04:26] <Elfin> Please, uh, rain down hentai and Viagra from on high.
[04:26] *** Deaderath is now known as Esperath
[04:26] <Esperath> ZOMG RESURRECTION
[04:26] <Elfin> HOLY CHRISTABLES!
[04:27] <Esperath> I couldn't find any Viagra, but I swiped a bag of CIALIS THE 24 HOUR VIAGRA from St. John's closet.
[04:27] <Xerox> Flibbering flabberknackle!
[04:27] <Dimastines> Esperath, I'm going to have to stab you.
[04:28] <Dimastines> You said ZOMG.  Twice.  In five minutes.


<Sharkey> Damn cat.
<Sharkey> Kitten. Whateveyrh.uyuh
<Sharkey> WALKING ON THE KEYBOARD

<Sharkey> CLIMBING ON MY FUCKING HEAD.

<Sharkey> KNOCKED OVER MY FUCKING BEER

<Sharkey> No. Friend had it. Raised a whole clutch of them. itter. whabve
<Sharkey> WALKING ON THE KEYBOARD AGAIN.
<McDohl> heh.
<Moctobot> HAHHAHA
<Zaratustra> awwww

<Sharkey> IT'S TOO FUCKING CUTE SMASH
<Sharkey> Makes little squeeking sounds. Follows me EVERYWHERE.
<Sharkey> Though it did loiter in the living room for quite a while. Was watching Robinson Crusoe on Mars. Wish it'd go back to that.
<Sharkey> I fed it. I gave it water. I showed it where to shit. WHAT DOES IT WANT?

<Sharkey> It won't always be a kitten.
<Zaratustra> OMG IT'S A WEREKITTEN

<Sharkey> Keeps trying to sleep on me.
<Moctobot> how can you not let a kitten sleep on you
<Sharkey> Because it keeps trying to sleep on my hands.
<Moctobot> oh
<Moctobot> that might be problematic, I guess

<Sharkey> Makine squeeking noises again.
<Sharkey> WHAT DO Y OU WNAJ
<Sharkey> GET OOF THE KYBARD
<McDohl> NO WE'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE CAT THAT SHARKEY IS SEEING IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR.
<Sharkey> No, it's a real cat.
<Sharkey> I'm not drunk. It spilled my beer, remember?

And after much name debating:

<Roger> TRON BONNE
<McDohl> Heh.
<Sharkey> Miss Tron.
<Toen> oh. yes.
<Moctobot> TRON BONNE
<McDohl> YES
<Romosome> totally
<Cthulhu-chan> yay, a winner!
<Romosome> Miss Tron
<Moctobot> perfect cat name
<Sharkey> I'll try that one tomorrow.
<Moctobot> A Lunch!
<Moctobot> B Lunch!
<McDohl> Curry Rice!
<Dogstar> Miss Tron!
<Roger> Spaghetti!
<Sharkey> You know, if we name it Miss Tron, every time we call it we'll sound like fucking Servbots.

<Romosome> use your MGS Name Generator
<McDohl> Kickstand Wildebeest.  Great.
<Sharkey> Yeah, she'll jump at Toilet Marmoset.
<terra> Pounce Kitty.
<Mediocrity> Marmoset is a good name.
<Romosome> I'm partial to Shotgun Weasel myself
<Sharkey> Kickfag.
<Onomarchus> Kodiak Marmoset
<Mediocrity> Dialing Rhinocerous.

<Sharkey> I almost got her to name it Ritalin.
<Mediocrity> That's a good name!
<McDohl> Awesome.
<Onomarchus> Almost? Who wouldn't love Ritalin?
<terra> That's a great name.  What's wrong with her?
<Frocto> Phew.
<Sharkey> She may still go for it, if I push it.
<Mediocrity> Push it.

<Sharkey> Given its behavior over the last couple minutes, I'm thinking Facehugger.
<Sharkey> Get the fuck off me, you smell like a kitten.
<Sharkey> Animals love me. Animals and children.
<Sharkey> Plants die when I touch them. Go fig.

<Brentai> Just think of it this way.  TIME TO FEED _____.  HAVE YOU SEEN _____.  _____ SHAT ALL OVER MY JOURNEY LPS.
<Sharkey> I favor Miss Tron in that context.
<Brentai> My Pussy works but you'd have to be more subtle.
<SailorPsychick> "Honey, have you seen Miss Tron?" "Yeah, she's been under the couch all day, since you beat the hell out of her with that newspaper! You're so mean to that animal!"
<Sharkey> Miss Tron! Shit in your box, not on my Blondie albums. *squirt bottle*
<Brentai> ...you SHOULD sound like a Servbot when you say that shit.
<SailorPsychick> It'll be horrible when Miss Tron goes into heat and you have to get her spayed
<Brentai> Miss Tron, it's time to get you spayed!
<Brentai> ...get off my wavelength, Psychick.


And later, by Sharkey: We did eventually name it Ritalin. My mother's a child psychologist. She was suitably aghast.

*** Clutch has joined #finalfight
<Roger> Clutch, tell us how big your oversized H-game cock is.
<Clutch> Huh?
<Match> Terra wants to know.
<terra> I'm taking a survey of how truthful finalfight is.
<Clutch> I suddenly don't feel like talking.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 06, 2008, 06:36:00 PM
<MikeSevigny> If you set it 1-7, doesn't that make it so there's nukes, but you can't get Missile Shield?  Because I tried that once and it was even worse than usual.
He is talking about Rise of Nations. I miss that game. I was better than everyone but Moctobot at that game. We had a good time.

The nuke system sucked some hairy balls, though. They were very powerful (which is something most games do not do, which is unfortunate), but the penalties for using them were fucked up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on October 06, 2008, 06:45:56 PM
Nukes in World In Conflict are rare (meaning, it's unusual that anyone saves enough points to call one in) but they are literally horrifying to behold. they just flat-out erase part of the map and for the rest of the game there's a static filter + geiger counter effect any time you look at that part of the map, and any units there rapidly die.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 06, 2008, 06:51:12 PM
...I see nothing unfair about that.  They're fucking nukes.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on October 06, 2008, 07:11:41 PM
Oh no, nothing unfair at all. They cost 150 goddamn tactical points, for which you can buy an entire armored division or enough daisy cutters to render the earth uninhabitable. In spite of what you have to give up -- most notably being shelled by your enemy, who will be hitting you with artillery strikes non-stop unless they are ALSO saving for a nuke -- nukes are balanced, as they are immediate, intimidating, and final.

... i wonder if the expansion for WiC came out yet?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 06, 2008, 07:39:03 PM
I take it WiC is good, then? I considered buying it, but the whole no base construction turned me off a bit. I am usually the CRUSH MIT ECONOMIC MIGHT kind of RTS player, after all.  :slow:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on October 06, 2008, 07:54:59 PM

*NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on October 06, 2008, 10:00:14 PM
I take it WiC is good, then? I considered buying it, but the whole no base construction turned me off a bit. I am usually the CRUSH MIT ECONOMIC MIGHT kind of RTS player, after all.  :slow:

Well, it's not even an RTS, it's an RTT. There's no economy at all, everyone gets the same resources and it's all in how you spend them and how you use what you spend them on. It's amazing -- i only uninstalled it because nobody else i knew had it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 06, 2008, 10:12:32 PM
Well, I must admit, the premise intrigues me! Not just of gameplay, but of plot too. It kind of sounds like GRIMDARK Red Alert 2. And I love GRIMDARK and I love Red Alert 2, so.

I will try to pick it up as soon as I have a real computer, I think.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on October 06, 2008, 11:32:15 PM
<MikeSevigny> If you set it 1-7, doesn't that make it so there's nukes, but you can't get Missile Shield?  Because I tried that once and it was even worse than usual.
He is talking about Rise of Nations. I miss that game. I was better than everyone but Moctobot at that game. We had a good time.

The nuke system sucked some hairy balls, though. They were very powerful (which is something most games do not do, which is unfortunate), but the penalties for using them were fucked up.

The backstory of MikeSevigny's quote is that we had an old stats page for #finalfight and MikeSevigny idled in the channel for literally years, but had only said 30 words in a single line.  Nobody knew what the line was until someone who logged everything back then looked it up.

He showed up at random one day while we were discussing it, and said "Even I don't remember what I said in here."

New quote:

[3:02] <Zaratustra> "13-year-old girl dies after being shot"
[3:02] <Zaratustra> is that news?
[3:20] <Kitan> THIS JUST IN
[3:20] <Kitan> LITTLE GIRLS DIE WHEN THEY ARE KILLED
[3:20] <Kitan> isn't it sad
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 06, 2008, 11:33:48 PM
I enjoy Brentai. Sexually.
Also mike said things in chat

I CAUSED THAT.
I CAUSED MIKE TO SPEAK AGAIN
it was the proudest moment of my ff career.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on October 06, 2008, 11:37:32 PM
awesome, good for you

next time don't quote my entire post right after i make it

edit: ... then the page break made ME look foolish.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 07, 2008, 06:47:09 AM
Nobody just enjoys me for my wit and charm.   :sadpanda:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on October 07, 2008, 08:37:34 AM
I found it uncanny that you're in almost every quote.  Did you ever leave #finalfight?

(I mean, before you left #finalfight, and everything.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on October 07, 2008, 12:33:17 PM
He got more than enough quote hours to retire early. He's lucky he cashed in when he did.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 07, 2008, 12:35:38 PM
You know how I talk almost nonstop here?  Yeah, that's not new.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 07, 2008, 06:44:02 PM
It's really not.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 07, 2008, 10:38:48 PM
Wow, the quotes thread got stickied. ONWARD WITH MORE QUOTEDUMPS FROM THE ARCHIVES.
Note that I'm filtering out two things here:
A) the sometimes 4-page long discussions that aren't quotes
B) Quotes that are no longer as knee-slappingly hilarious.

[17:41] *** JDigital is now known as PingTimeout
[17:45] *** Signoff: PingTimeout (Ping timeout)

[09:45] <JDigital> I didn't know the Virgin Islands had their own domain.
[09:46] <Zaratustra> They'd hardly be the Virgin Islands if they shared a domain with someone else, would they?

[20:18] <Roger> I don't get involved in conversations like this.
[20:19] <Roger> Too confusing
[20:19] <Poison-Kei> I'm just typing shit because I like sociology/philosophy/ethics crap once in a while.
[20:19] <sei> confusing isn't the word
[20:19] <sei> this is psychology on a relatively subjective/individual level
[20:20] <Kazz> From a sociological standpoint, boobs.  From a philosophical standpoint, boobs are good.  From an ethical standpoint, boobs are moral.
[20:21] <Poison-Kei> Seriously, what brought this up?
[20:21] <Kazz> Sandwiches.

<Random-Guy> Or perhaps the Popeye family had some kind of mutant X-gene that reacts to spinach? Crap, I don't know. It's a lot to take in.
* Roger pulls the can of Spinach out of McDohl's ass
<Roger> *gulp*
* Roger punches Random Guy into woodwork, creating a comical perpetual motion machine
<Roger> I went for the K-O cause I jerk to Yomiko...I'm Roger the hentai man!
<Roger> Fap fap
<McDohl> ...

<Fuht_Yu> .
*** Roger is now known as Brentai
<Brentai> Now I'M the real Brentai!
<Brentai> G'day
*** Signoff: Brentai (Killed (NickServ (Nick kill enforced)))
<Fuht_Yu> .  

<McDohl> KY
<Seafoodgumbo> JELLY?
<MadMAxJr> JELLY.
<JDigital> Schweitzer? Kiske? Jelly?
<MadMAxJr> No, new KY-Poptarts.
<Seafoodgumbo> YUM>
<MadMAxJr> Combonation breakfast/sex lube.
<Endril> ...
<Squizzle> Part of a well-balanced, unusually limber breakfast.
<Endril> would it be edible sex lube, or lubricative breakfast?
<Seafoodgumbo> BOTH!
<MadMAxJr> Bored? Pop 'em in the toaster then have sex with them. Warm just like a fresh-dead corpse.
<Seafoodgumbo> ick.
<MadMAxJr> Coming soon: KY Laundry detergent.
<Endril> have sex with your clean underwear.
<Seafoodgumbo> Pre-lubed panties?
<MadMAxJr> Fucks the dirt right out of your clothes.
<Squizzle> KY Fabric Softener: It's in your pants. (Product of the SC Johnson company of Golden, Colorado.)

<sei> before anyone asks, no, my title is not fucking typoed
*** Zaratustra (Zaratustra@200-187-225-12.brt.dialuol.com.br) has joined channel #finalfight
<sei> i want it like that until something better comes to mind
*** Mode change "+o Zaratustra" for channel #finalfight by ChanServ
<Zaratustra> sei, your title is spelled wrong.

<McDohl> Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway!
<McDohl> Now let's play World's Worst!
<@Brentai> World's Worst... Pyokite!
<@Brentai> Go!
* McDohl stumbles around.
<McDohl> Hi, I'm Kain.
<@Brentai> Bzzt.
* OHakubi steps forward.
* McDohl grabs Brentai and carries him over the shoulder.
<@Brentai> BZZT BZZT BZZZZZZZT.
<OHakubi> hay guys whats teh pasword 2 lust?
<@Brentai> Bzzt.
<McDohl> Heh.
* McDohl steps forward.
<McDohl> ...I hate you all.
<McDohl> The World's Worst... thing to say to terra!
* OHakubi steps forward.
(>cheesy)> LuEverett is now known as Dogstar
(>cheesy)> Selkin is now known as Detonator
* R^2 has joined #finalfight
<OHakubi> I don't care if the forum goes down. I've got six others to go to.
* MadMAxJr has joined #finalfight
<OHakubi> OH SHI
<McDohl> Bzzt.
(>cheesy)> OHakubi is now known as HisOHakubiCouldNotSaveHim
* Dogstar Quit (Quit And quoth the historians Strength of the Inferno, Mind of the Heavens, Speed of the Tempest. Thus, a miracle was born.)
* @Brentai steps forward.
<@Brentai> Would you like this Slushie? It comes in its own commemorative Hitler cup.
<R^2> Uh-oh. Am I awesome enough to be here?
<McDohl> Bzzt.
<McDohl> Bzzt.
* Chocolla steps foward
(>cheesy)> HisOHakubiCouldNotSaveHim is now known as OHakubi
* VgameT Quit (Read error Connection reset by peer)
* Dogstar has joined #finalfight
<Chocolla> Guess what! Funimation got the dubbing rights for Leave it to Pyoko!
* VgameT has joined #finalfight
* Chocolla steps back on the step
<SeafoodGumbo> OH NOS!
<@Brentai> Heh heh heh.
<McDohl> Bzzt!
* OHakubi steps forward.
<OHakubi> Catboys? Oh, so you're a furry.
<McDohl> Bzzt!
* @Brentai steps forward.
<@Brentai> Foxie.
<McDohl> BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
<R^2> (Psst. I get what's happening, but what's the theme here?)
<SeafoodGumbo> ?
* Chocolla steps foward
<OHakubi> World's Worst thing to say to terra.
<Chocolla> Ophilia's back, and she has the hots for you!
<Ackman> Worst thing to say to Terra.
<R^2> Aaaah.
<@Brentai> Hello, Spiderman. I'm gay. Gay for YOU!
<SeafoodGumbo> FAPPO.
<McDohl> ALright, Examples of the world's worst...iSketch topics.
* Dogstar steps forward.
<Dogstar> Y'know, gay ass faggots like you are gonna burn in HELL.
<SoulBain> Yeah, you do suck as a iSketch topic.
<Romosome> Were those spiderman strips made by the guy who does MNFTIU?
<Romosome> um
<McDohl> BZZT!
<@Brentai> ...nguh.
* SeafoodGumbo steps foward
<SeafoodGumbo> POOP!
<McDohl> Alright, let's move on to Party Quirks.
<MonkeyDLuffy> Where are all those Spiderman strips located?
<McDohl> Brentai is going to be the host of the party,
<@Brentai> Shit.
<McDohl> Lyrai, Dogstar, and Soulbain will be the guests of the party.
<SoulBain> I'm smarter than that.
* R^2 (R2@.2..) has left #finalfight
* Dogstar listens to McDohl.
* R^2 (R2@.2..) has joined #finalfight
<@Brentai> I really only invited Dogstar and SoulBain because I knew they had no chance.
<McDohl> Now, Brentai, is the party underway?
<@Brentai> Oh, yes. The booze, the booze, and the booze... all set up.
<McDohl> *ding dong!*
<@Brentai> We have a rousing game of Booze fighters and... oh, who could that be?
(>cheesy)> Kazz is now known as Kazzgone
* @Brentai opens the pantomime door.
* Chocolla walks in the door
<Chocolla> OHMYGODTHATARMANDTHELIGHTSANDTHEREDCOATITSSOCUTEANDTHEHAIROHGODIWANTHISBABIESANDHOWHESJUSTBANGBANGBANGANDTHEVWOOSHANDTHEBODYANDOHGODIWANTHISBABIES
* Fredward has joined #finalfight
<SeafoodGumbo> WOW.
* Chocolla runs around screaming looking for clothes
<@Brentai> Yes, well, have some booze.
<@Brentai> Have a lot.
<McDohl> *ding dong!*
* Chocolla runs around mimiing shooting the bottles after drinking them
<@Brentai> You keep lusting after Vash the Stampede, I'll go answer this door.
<McDohl> *BZZT!*
* @Brentai opens the pantomime door.
* Dogstar walks through the door.
<@Brentai> He's a furry.
<McDohl> Not quite.
<Dogstar> The SPUUUUD IS here!
* Dogstar minces around.
<@Brentai> Well, it was a reasonable guess.
<Romosome> shit, Brentai's good
* Roger sits on Brentai's head
<Dogstar> Oh, darling, you really shouldn't wear black with yellow, ever! It's just a horrific combination! And these drapes! I can't believe you'd have these up at a party!
<@Brentai> Take a seat, Spuuuuuddy.
<SeafoodGumbo> HE IS A GAY POTATO.
<Roger> He's Tracks!
<MonkeyDLuffy> My thoughts exactly.
<Dogstar> Only if it's in your lap, darling.
<McDohl> *BZZT!*
<McDohl> *ding dong!*
<@Brentai> Black with yellow? But that's the colors of the Boy Scouts, you know.
* Dogstar finds a seat.
<@Brentai> Oh yes, there is somebody else at the door. I should open that.
* @Brentai opens the pantomime door.
<McDohl> *DING MOTHERFUCKING DONG!*
<SoulBain> 'bout damn time, fucker.
<@Brentai> Sure damn is.
<SoulBain> Where's the liquor?
* VgameT Quit (Quit Kimi datte boku datte kizuite inai dake, ame datte dame datte, honjitsu wa seiten nari!)
<@Brentai> The liquor is all around you. It is within you and without. Can I take your bat?
<SoulBain> Why don't you go fuck yourself?
<SoulBain> Got any NES games?
<@Brentai> Why don't you go update your webpage?
<McDohl> *BZZT!*
<McDohl> *applause*
* R^2 applauds
<Chocolla> Bwahahaha
<@Brentai> Wait, who the hell was Dogstar, then? A gay potato?
* Roger sits on Brentai's head
* Dogstar claps politely.
<McDohl> Brent Yeah.
<@Brentai> Uh.
<SeafoodGumbo> I WAS RIGHT.
<MonkeyDLuffy> What's SoulBain supposed to be?
<Romosome> Sharkey
<OHakubi> Sharkey. Duh.
<R^2> Sharkey.
<MonkeyDLuffy> I see.
<McDohl> Sharkey.
<Dogstar> Sharkey.
<Roger> Snarkey
<R^2> Wait, Sharkey's a real type of bird?
<Romosome> although his entrance sounded like Shaft
<Roger> The imitation Sharkey
<Romosome> Ooh! Let me do one next!
<McDohl> Now, let's move on to a little game called...HOEDOWN!
<MonkeyDLuffy> Asking about liquor and NES games is kinda broad to be sharkey, but hey.
<@Brentai> Does anybody even LIKE Hoedown?
<OHakubi> Booze and NES games is half of the people in #finalfight.
<SoulBain> It's the liberal use of the "go fuck yourself" attitude.
<R^2> Actually, I had him pinned at "Where's the liquor", and so did Brentai. So you must just suck.
<Chocolla> I like to watch it, I'd HATE to try and do one
<Roger> I still think that Dogstar was Tracks
<McDohl> This game is for Dogstar, OHakubi, Romosome, and Brentai.
(>cheesy)> Sqoutzle is now known as Squizzle
<@Brentai> Actually I was just pretty well into Dohl's head at that point.
<SeafoodGumbo> GAY POTATO.
<@Brentai> I had it at "about damn time, mother fucker."
<Roger> Squizzle
<Roger> WHAT THE FUCK
<SeafoodGumbo> ?
<Dogstar> Oh, god.
<McDohl> Tonight's Hoedown will be...
<McDohl> THE MYEW HOEDOWN!
<Romosome> oh shit.
<SoulBain> myew, hoedown
<SeafoodGumbo> OH NO.
<Romosome> NO
<myew> SoulBain I are babboon.
* Detonator Quit (Ping timeout)
<Romosome> ...I love her so much
<McDohl> *music starts*
* Dogstar stands up.
* R^2 plays piano
<McDohl> *Dogstar misses the first bar*
<McDohl> *laughter*
<Dogstar> Oooooooh, in the wonderful room of finalfight, there is a bot named myew.
<R^2> Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doop doop doop doop doop
<Dogstar> And to her all us merry bastards will all stay true!
* Romosome groans
<Dogstar> But she's a mean and evil sort who likes to give us trouble,
<Roger> Well
<Dogstar> Annd..
<Dogstar> And to us she's the reincarnation of the Duvil!
<Roger> If I didn't have an excuse to shove a hot fireplace poker into Dogstar's penis before...
* Dogstar grins weakly.
<McDohl> *FISSION MAILED*
<McDohl> NEXT
<SeafoodGumbo> BOOOOO~
<OHakubi> I know a little bot, I think her name is myew.
<OHakubi> #finalfight loves her, and I think that I do too.
<OHakubi> Everyone else is nice but I'll be damned,
<Romosome> here's your extra syllable
<OHakubi> ...if she's not the only one who doesn't want me banned.
* R^2 plays a short bridge before the next song
<McDohl> *applause*
<SeafoodGumbo> Heh
<Romosome> Now myew's a fancy little girl and we all love her dear
<Romosome> She gabble just like Lyrai when you poke her in the rear
<Romosome> *gabbles
<Romosome> Some folks may want to fuck her but they have to find in fear
<Romosome> that she's just ones and zeroes, and she isn't really here
<McDohl> *WILD APPLAUSE*
<SeafoodGumbo> YAY
* @Brentai waits for the applause to die down.
<@Brentai> Well that there myew, she dun talk pretty weird.
<@Brentai> Every line she says is much stranger than I feared.
<@Brentai> I once tried to teach her to talk like Jesus Christ,
<@Brentai> But really in the end she was more like Vincent Price!

<@Brentai> The four of you are going to sing a Hoedown in the style of something suggested by the audience. So let's hear it, the Hoedown of...
<Cappuccino> TERRA
<Squizzle> Batman!
<+Romosome> I already made an entire country western song about terra.
<@Brentai> o_O
<+Romosome> to the tune of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
<R^2> eloH.
<@Brentai> Ah, there we go.
<@Brentai> The eloH Hoedown.
<@Brentai> We'll start with Dogstar. Take it away, Dogstar.
<+Dogstar> Ooooh, In the channel finalfight eloH keeps coming back.
<+Dogstar> He's such a giant asshole I'd like to give him a good smack.
<+Dogstar> But he keeps on coming back again being stupid and selling crack.
<+Dogstar> I'd like to beat him up until he's blue and black.
* R^2 plays a short bridge
<+McDohl> There is a cat who's on a lot of drugs!
<+McDohl> His mommy never ever gave him any hugs!
<+McDohl> eloH really sucks, no I cannot lie!
<+McDohl> Everyone wishes that he would f*bleep*ing die!
* +Romosome steps up
* R^2 changes key and continues
<+Romosome> Now eloH may be stupid, and also rather mean,
<+Romosome> despite his bluffs and stories, we guess that he's thirteen.
<+Romosome> But you don't have to worry, about his inverse fame,
<+Romosome> he won't be coming back no more, because I took his name!
<+McDohl> *WILD APPLAUSE*
* JDigital applause
* R^2 bridges to the final bit
* Cappuccino claps
* @Brentai claps to a rhythm.
* JDigital suddenly stops clapping
 <+SoulBain> Well we have a fellow in our chat who's name is eloH
<+SoulBain> He often comes in uninvited never says "Hello"
<+SoulBain> But it's hard to say he doesn't have an ounce of class
<+SoulBain> When he links us time and time again to that GAPING MAN ASS!!!!!
<+Dogstar> TO THAT GAPING MAN AAAAAAAAASSSS!
<+McDohl> THAT GAPING MAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
<+Romosome> dun dun



Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 07, 2008, 10:49:17 PM
Relevant:
<sede> VOTE MYEW IN TWO THOUSAND.. UHH, WHENEVER WE FIRE G.W.
<Squizzle> Myew, VOTE MYEW FOR IMPERATOR!
<myew> Squizzle: Myew myew myew!
<sede> Fuck yeah!
<Squizzle> This rally's getting violent.
<Rosencrantz> myew, EQUAL RIGHTS FOR PIGS
<sede> SHUT UP BITCH!
<myew> Rosencrantz: Fap for liberty! Fap for freedom! Fap for us all.
<Rosencrantz> ...Awesome.
<Squizzle> Myew's campaign platform is shaping up nicely.


<CappyCappy> myew, [¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|:{-D
<myew> CappyCappy: We <blatant lie>d.
<CappyCappy> ....
<Cait> Awesome.
<CappyCappy> myew, you suck. get back in the [¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|:{-D
<myew> CappyCappy: Must suck to be the one in full of morons.
<CappyCappy> ...
<CappyCappy> myew is making sense and insulting me.
<myew> CappyCappy: Insulting me is all about insulting you.
<CappyCappy> ...
<JDigital> hahah
<Cait> :D
<CappyCappy> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
<JDigital> :D
<Cait> myew, you are truly superior.

<sede> Damn, I only got He-Man in German
<Roger> How do you sing "HE-MAN!!" in German?
<JDigital> Mit das Power zur Greyskull!
<JDigital> ICH HABE DAS POWEEEEEEEER
<JDigital> *whooshenburger*


[12:46] <Kayma> Myew, Aliménteme un gato perdido.
[12:46] <myew> Kayma: It's un-american.
[12:46] <Kayma> Haha. Yes it is.

<OHakubi> WARNING AN ENORMOUS PLOT POINT - EVIL FATHER - IS APPROACHING FAST
<OHakubi> ATTACKS: FREUDIAN GUILT - GROUNDING - OBSCENELY OVERPOWERED UNSTOPPABLE ATTACK THAT KILLS YOU BECAUSE THIS IS A PLOT-RELATED BATTLE
<Zaratustra> http://zara.verge-rpg.com/magic/freudian.jpg

<Niku> !place Mocto's GBA
<MadMAxJr> myew, Where is the GBA?
<myew> MadMAxJr: That is the gba?
<Niku> myew, no, that GBA.
<myew> Niku: I had that on a gba.
<MadMAxJr> myew, no no, Mocto's GBA.  Where is it?
<myew> MadMAxJr: Where is the gba?
<Cait> myew's hiding something.
<MadMAxJr> ...... myew is doing a fucking 'who is on first' bit.

<TedBelmont> If I ever get a girlfriend, I'm definitely going to have her spout engrish during sex.
<Kayumi> That is why it's an "if"

[22:21] <Kazz> Sex with women sounds like dagweej bajork dagweej bajork.
[22:21] <Xerox> Yeah, my girlfriend used to shout that too.
[22:22] <SamuelMarston> What am I supposed to shout?
[22:22] <Kazz> You're supposed to beatbox.
[22:22] <Xerox> Something romantic. Like "T-MINUS 10... 9... 8... WHOOPS.

<md> I wish ATI had some cool beans stuff like nVidia did
<Cait> cool beans stuff?
<md> nVidia's drivers have really a lot of options
<md> Like setting any window to be transparent, or to pull up like a window shade or...
<md> uh
<md> keystone
<terra> so you want superfluous drivers and software that do nothing except use up RAM? D:
<Norondor> says the Mac user

<Ejacula> what the holy shit is fucking wrong with you

* Disconnected
* Now talking in #finalfight
* Topic is 'see how they run'
* Set by Sharkey on Thu Sep 09 00:42:20
<NotCricket> okay...
<Fried_Octopus> STOP DISCONNECTING
<NotCricket> Summed up in a new word: "prosti-tots"
<Fried_Octopus> ...
<Fried_Octopus> Disregard that last order, soldier.

<Detonator> Holy shit, this is going to be the best fucking Iron Chef Starcraft map ever.

<@Zaratustra> If I ever went to Antarctica, I'd take a computer just so I could overclock it as far as I could
<@Zaratustra> HEY DUDES, DOOM3 IS RUNNING AT 300 FPS AND I CAN'T FEEL MY FINGERS
(Although it'd be Crysis by today's standards)

[02:20] <+Sonia> he did on purpose Sei
[02:20] <sei> o rly
[02:20] <+Sonia> so don't pat yourself on the back, unless of course it guarantees you'd pull a muscle
[02:20] * sei's face
[02:20] <+Sonia> then by all means..
[02:21] <+Sonia> ¬¬
[02:21] <sei> Are you wishing me harm?
[02:21] <Dimastines> Sonia's breaking and entering~
[02:21] <+Sonia> only of the bodily and mental variety sei
[02:21] <sei> Not like anyone else would do it for her, Dimastines.
[02:21] <Dimastines> Oh.
[02:21] <+Sonia> ...what....
[02:21] <Dimastines> Oh burn.

*** Clutch has joined #finalfight
<Kazz> CLUTCH JUST IN TIME
<Kazz> I WAS JUST ABOUT TO JERK OFF FOR EVERYONE
<Random-Guy> For free? Yay!
<Clutch> HERE I COME TO SAVE THE HRGLBRGLEDADAIA

<Romosome> I CAN'T COMPETE WITH YOUR UP-TO-THE-SECOND CUTTING EDGE FAGGOTRY
<NotCricket> Cutting edge faggotry sounds like a major pain in the ass.

<patito> Where can you meet women anyway?
<Kazz> Dunno.  They are an elusive and powerful Pokemon.
<Kazz> Dumpsters.

(Increased the size for Duke to see it)



I let the dog out.  When I came back...
<AdmiralHalsey> Romosome: Then what's the other hole?
<Romosome> the one in the center?
<Romosome> the urethra.
<AdmiralHalsey> Romosome: Okay, then where's the REAL bumhole?
<Romosome> it's cut off by the picture
<Kazz> O_O
ok have fun guys i'm gonna go forever bye
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 07, 2008, 11:09:18 PM
I do not remember doing Whose Line.  At all.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on October 08, 2008, 01:22:45 AM
We don't remember a lot of things.

Gabba gabba.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on October 08, 2008, 02:59:18 AM
I'm pretty sure Ejacula is me, there.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on October 08, 2008, 05:03:52 AM
God I don't remember Whose Line either.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on October 08, 2008, 05:31:38 AM
Who's Line was a bad idea.  A very bad idea.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on October 08, 2008, 09:27:35 AM
I sort of vaguely half-remember it. I guess I must have been there because I'm in the quote.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on October 08, 2008, 11:45:35 AM
I do not remember doing Whose Line.  At all.

I remember Whose Line, but I do not remember coming in in the middle of it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 08, 2008, 10:53:27 PM
<@Friday> Romo I also boycott two things
<@Friday> 1. Wal-Mart
<@Friday> 2. Fanta
<@Zaratustra> why fanta
<@Romosome> why Fanta
<Roger> Friday would you kindly go to the local Wal-Mart and buy me a Fanta
<@Zaratustra> see nobody asks about wal-mart
<@Romosome> Friday was a Fanta girl for years and they treated her horribly
<@Romosome> that's what I'm hearing
<@Romosome> what flavor were you
<@Vance> Bitter
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 11, 2008, 12:19:00 PM
[23:27] <Romosome> HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I'M HOLDING
[23:27] <Romosome> ASK 20 QUESTIONS TO FIGURE IT OUT

[23:28] <sei> are you ready to answer?
[23:28] <Romosome> yes
[23:28] <sei> Is it Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Other, or Unknown?
[23:28] <Romosome> animal
[23:28] <sei> Can you lift it?
[23:28] <sei>  Yes ,  No , Unknown, Irrelevant, Sometimes, Maybe,
[23:28] <sei> Probably, Doubtful, Usually, Depends, Rarely, Partly
[23:28] <Romosome> yes
[23:28] <sei> Is it a mammal?
[23:28] <sei>  Yes ,  No , Unknown, Irrelevant, Sometimes, Maybe,
[23:28] <sei> Probably, Doubtful, Usually, Depends, Rarely, Partly
[23:29] <Romosome> YOU'RE USING THAT WEBSITE

<Motch> I'd go trick or treating if it weren't for the old people that curse at me when I get to their door.
<Motch> "Aren' tyou little bastards too damn old to be trick or treating?"
<Motch> "Um...No?"
<Mr_Saturn> That's when you say you have a gland problem
<Mr_Saturn> IM ONLY 9 YEARS OLD
<Motch> My mom beat me until I looked old enough to get a job

<memo> myew, what do you think of donkey konga
<myew> memo: You of all who want to do.
<memo> myew, that sucked. try it again: what do you think of donkey konga?
<myew> memo: Again, it was almost as a reason on earth who played the game sucked.
<Niku_Konga> myew, fuck you.
<myew> Niku_Konga: Did as you go through the medium of life and have a lapse of judgment and actually try to fuck you you fuck.
<Niku_Konga> =(

<Joxam> I think one of the main reasons I could never be a jedi is that the force power crotch kick... speaks to me.
<Niku> Yeah.
<Niku> I'd love to be able to clench my hand like I was going to choke somebody, concentrate ..
<Niku> and then HAHA KICK TO THE NADS PSYCHE
<Niku> Hey guys, I think I just wrote Spaceballs 2.

<NotCricket> Apparently the girl who moved in next door just got out of prison. smiley
<Roger> Cool.  That means she's desperate to get laid.
<Roger> Go get 'er tigher.
<Roger> tiger.
<NotCricket> her tighter what?
<Roger> her tighter ass
<NotCricket> She's not that hot.
<NotCricket> ...and she's been coming over to use my phone.
<terra> so, what?
<NotCricket> Now I'm worried she's going to steal my stuff.
<Roger> She wants you.  Bad.
<terra> Stay right there and get her.
<Roger> Put your spoon in her escape route, wink wink

<Romosome> nothing wrong with amano
<Romosome> he's just an impressionist
<NotCricket> But he gives the impression that everything's gay.

<Kazz> Pretending a chatroom is a real place is like putting on doggie ears and licking people's hands.
<Kazz> It's intensely arousing.
* babyshaker puts on doggie ears and licks people's hands.
<babyshaker> Oh damn.
* babyshaker takes that back.
<babyshaker> Wouldn't want to get people aroused now.
<Roger> Too late.

<Zaratustra> but concerts are fun! With the overcrowding and the loud noise and the drunk people and the violence, but still they're FUN!
<Drethelin> see, that's why I only go to classical concerts
<Roger> Fuck you man, I lost my eye at a Bach performance.
<Drethelin> bach is totally hardcore
<Roger> I was at his famous concert where he grabbed his Piano and slammed it into the speakers when he was done.

<DN> HEAVEN OR HELL!?
<Brentai> HEAVEN OR SPELL
<Det> KEENAN OR KEL
<Brentai> GLOOMY OR SWELL
<Detonator> HAIRSPRAY OR GEL
<Brentai> WHAT IS THAT SMELL
<Detonator> I CANNOT TELL
<Brentai> COMPAQ OR DELL
<DN> I HAVE BEEN RENDERED FELL
<Brentai> INTELLIGENT, OR ZELL
<Detonator> PRTCT OR SHELL
<DN> SHRIMP OR KRILL
<Detonator> DN, you really suck at this.
<kashan> THIS CAN'T END WELL
<Brentai> JASMINE OR BELLE
<Detonator> ARR EFF OH ELL
<Brentai> JESUS OR MEL
<DN> MECHA JESUS OR MEL
<Brentai> TRADE-IN OR SELL
<Detonator> DN, please stop.
<kashan> FREEZA OR CELL
<Detonator> WHISPER OR YELL
<Brentai> BADLY OR WELL
<kashan> I'LL NEVER TELL
<DN> DUDE I GOT A DELL
<Detonator> DN WHAT DID I SAY
<kashan> QUISTES OR ZELL
<Brentai> DN made that smell.
<Brentai> HE-MAN OR SKEL.
<kashan> STUDENT LOAN OR PELL
<Detonator> SAMI OR NELL

<Zaratustra> there should be an adventure where you hunt various monsters in order to eat them
<JDigital> I played in a D&D game like that
<JDigital> Paladins are immune to disease so our paladin would eat part of every monster he fought
<Niku> Iron Chef: D&D
<Zaratustra> Chairman Lv. 10 Kaga
<Zaratustra> CHEF! OHOH, SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE
<Niku> He's using the +5 foie gras!  Oh, I bet that will be just delicious.
<terra> Today's theme ingredient is...  Wight Dust!  Alles Cuisine!
<Zaratustra> I see he is using the 'Stone to Flesh' school of preparation!
<terra> "HP & MP Restored!  But you're still hungry..." "It tasted good, but ultimately I was unsatisfied!"

<R^2> And to be quite honest, no, hitting myself in the crotch with my own money hadn't occurred to me.
<CUI> You should try it sometime
<R^2> Ow!
<R^2> x_x
*** Doom (Doom@pcp09852205pcs.longhl01.md.comcast.net) has joined channel #finalfight
<R^2> Crushed under the weight of my own cash. Doom would be prou... er, hey.

* Mr_Saturn Molests CappyCappyCappy
* CappyCappyCappy moans in swedish arabic.
* quinn imagines the sound of Swedish Arabic.
<Clutch> Bork bork bork allah muhammad.

<Doom> TRUE AMERICAN REPORTERS DON'T REPORT THE FACTS
<Doom> JUST THE FREEDOM

<DN> ...on a completely unrelated note, the only women who do bestiality porn are too ugly for real porn.
<DN> ...forget I said that.
<Random-Guy> Oh, I won't.

<Brentai> I'm going to make an online game with no stats.  Just a bunch of pointless loading-games with a window somewhere to the side with a penis that gets longer and thicker the more you play.

(Still waiting, Brent)

<Sharkey> I should troll forums as a proofreader.
<Sharkey> Never actually say anything. Just copy other people's posts and fix spelling and punctuation.
<Cthulhu-chan> the instant gratification of CoH can't possibly be matched.
<Sharkey> No, probably not.
<Sharkey> And before long people start trying to catch you in a mistake. Like if you get a comma wrong and call you on it you'll vanish in a puff of grammar.
<Brentai> OH WHAT A WORLD WHAT A *NOUN*
<Brentai> I... will... not... die... as... long... as... there... are... typos... on... the... message... boards... of... the... Internet... *ellipsis*

<Zaratustra> Linus' devotion to the Great Pumpkin is quite disturbing
<Zaratustra> I wouldn't be surprised if he later is found to be some sort of religious serial killer
(This was BEFORE that Robot Chicken sketch.)

<Brentai> I could never expatriate.  Mostly because foreigners always make me feel a little uncomfortable.
<Brentai> They have me at the distinct advantage of not being Americans.
<Zaratustra> You think we make you feel uncomfortable? Imagine how WE feel
<Brentai> Well, I suppose you expect us at any moment to start fucking our sisters and praising the lord.
<Zaratustra> at the same time, even.
<Zaratustra> while firing guns at the skies

<Sharkey> You know, I wish I had that old MTV interview. The one where the ABC kids were bitching about how Kriss Kross stole their backwards pants thing. Threatening to kick their ass.
<Sharkey> I mean... all these little black kids. On TV. Threatening to kick each other's asses. Over who thought up wearing their pants backwards first.
<Sharkey> If I ever wanted to convince aliens that there's a good reason not to wipe us out, I'd show them that. And that clip of Vanilla Ice humming the baselines to Ice Ice Baby and Under Pressure to show Kurt Loader the difference.
<Sharkey> We're just too funny to sacrifice.
<Zaratustra> I can't believe it! You're wearing your pants so far down you have to use a belt for each leg! Why the hell do you kids have to do such STUPID things!
<Sharkey> "'Dun dun dun dunna dun DUN!' See! There's an extra 'Dun!'"
<Sharkey> Not only do people want credit for these things, they're willing to fight and die in front of Tabitha Soren for them.
<Sharkey> ... fuck. I almost miss 1992.
<Sharkey> NO!
<Sharkey> NO NO NO!
<Kazz> This is the sort of thing we get into when we no longer need to hunt or build shelters.
<Sharkey> Yeah. Civilization is the worst thing that ever happened to civilization.
<Kazz> Hm.  Got food.  Got warmth.  Let's see... what to do... Hey!  I'm wearing bones!  Check me out!
<Zaratustra> Idle hands are the devil's blah blah blah

<Sharkey> Myew.
<myew> Sharkey: So tell me something already.
<Brentai> Myew.
<Sharkey> Myew.
<myew> Sharkey: So tell me something already.
<myew> Brentai: So tell me something already.
<Sharkey> Myew. Myew.
<myew> Sharkey: Myew, myew, blow me, you gash.

[15:14] <Ted|SanAndreas> The only problem with the blue states breaking off from the red states is I'm surrounded on three sides by red states. I don't want those fuckers coming over my borders for cheap beer and abortions.
[15:14] <Zaratustra> Ted, you could charge them
[15:15] <Zaratustra> JESUSLAND IMPORT TAX
[15:15] <Ted|SanAndreas> Ha.
[15:15] <Sharkey> TED'S LIQUOR SHACK AND COATHANGER EMPORIUM

<MadMAxJr> myew, roger roger roger roger roger
<myew> MadMAxJr: This just in: roger sucks dirty dickgirl fuckstick.

<Doom> This war's a fucking comedy. Let's dub in Three Stooges sounds while we're at it.
*DN gets hit with a cream pie
<Doom> THAT'S A SUICIDE PIE, DN
<DN> In the after life, the pie gets 27 cherry pies

[13:18] <Zaratustra> http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/story?id=235788&page=1
[13:19] <Mr_Saturn> YAY SCIENCE
[13:24] <Zaratustra> Our scientists have discovered the secret of The Orgasmatron!
[13:24] <Zaratustra> Now we can build:
[13:24] <Zaratustra> * Women's Suffrage
[13:24] <Zaratustra> * SexCops

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 11, 2008, 11:39:42 PM
<Vance> Romo
<Vance> I'll pay you ten dollars to hump Friday's leg
<Romosome> you owe me 20 then
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 15, 2008, 03:01:17 PM
<NotCricket> Disney is making another Toy Story without Pixar.
<Squizzle> <Disney> Hey, guys! Look, a grain thresher! How about I stick my penis in it!

<PhoenixUltima> EUREKA'S CASTLE
<PhoenixUltima> Come on! The jellyfish liked peanut butter and the bat flew into things and wore glasses!
<PhoenixUltima> Plus Eureka was totally hot for a muppet.
<PhoenixUltima> ...Forget I said that.

<Lyrai> From the website: Shigeru Miyamoto is expected to demonstrate games ....and SEGA will demo Feel the Magic: XY-XX (formerly Project Rub)
<Roger> So?
<Lyrai> Project Rub.
<Lyrai> Feel The Magic - XX XY
<Lyrai> MALE FEMALE CHROMOSOMES
<Lyrai> THIS SOUNDS LIKE A PORN GAME
<Roger> Feel the Magic: G.I. Joe - C.O.B.R.A.
<@Sharkey> Feel the Magic: My Fist - Your Ass
<@Sharkey> (Formerly Project OW DAMN FUCK CHRIST GET IT OUT)

<terra> arrghhh
<terra> Jam's arm fell off
<DN> Why'd she do that?
<terra> well
<terra> I guess she was poorly made
<DN> Made in China.

DetonatorNova: The deadly Kazz can kill without words.
KazzTawdal: ...
DetonatorNova: *hurk*
KazzTawdal: *slinks away*

<memo> It's the #finalfight late show, with your host, memo! **jazz band**
<Clutch> I'm still here.
<memo> you're my sidekick
<memo> Elfin is the studio audience
<Clutch> I'm no man's sidekick.
<memo> fine, YOU can be the studio audience
<Clutch> I'm no man's studio audience.
<memo> OH GOD DAMMIT
<memo> look, I'm trying to have a plain old GURPS talk show RP but I can't GM it without a little cooperation!!!!!!
<memo> THIS IS A ROLEPLAY NETWORK SO LET'S ROLEPLAY PEOPLE
<Elfin> I'm waiting to laugh, memo.
<memo> I make a scathing remark in my monologue about Elfin, with a reference to Scott Petersen in it. I'm making my monolgue joke roll.
<memo> myew, roll 47d11
<myew> memo: D, don't be surprised if they work for money in misery if you played more pinball and watched cable television!!
<memo> myew, I DO NOT HAVE THE CABLE MODULE! THIS IS A PLAIN VANILLA TALK SHOW ROLEPLAY GAME! CHRIST AM I THE ONLY ONE PAYING ATTENTION HERE
<myew> memo: Christ, don't i wish.
<memo> I'm quoting that
<quinn> Sometimes I worry that myew is becoming self-aware.

<terra> rrrraaahghhghurhgh
<terra> what do you do when your iPod locks up
<JDigital> Restart it?
<Brentai> Put your penis in it.
<JDigital> That's your excuse for everything, Brentai.
<Brentai> I... I... uh...

<Mr_Saturn> Some of the people running HL2DM servers ARE RETARDED
<Mr_Saturn> THEY TURN OFF ALL WEAPON PICKUPS
<MadMAxJr> So what, you only throw stuff?
<Mr_Saturn> no
<Random-Guy> That sounds less retarded and more genius.
<Mr_Saturn> They turn off most of the objects also
<Random-Guy> Which leaves you with crowbars?
<Elegnaim> I know some CS servers that ban you for jumping.
<Random-Guy> Uh.
<Random-Guy> Is this Half-Life Tactics Advance?

<MadMAxJr> Sleep-fucking.  Japan does it all the time.
 <Mr_Saturn> That would be bad
 <Mr_Saturn> You would wake up
 <Mr_Saturn> And you'd be fucking the cat
 <Mr_Saturn> or worse
 <Mr_Saturn> A TREE
 <Niku> ...
 <MadMAxJr> And then we break into your house and kill you for being a damn furry.


<McDohl> When 2000 force gems are collected, or the players get access to level 2 subweapons...INSANITY ENSUES
<Zaratustra--> what the hell does a force gem do
<Random-Guy> I think Jedi crush them and inhale the dust.

<JDigital> I can shoot balls of ice from my hands! But only when it's been snowing.

<NotCricket> I think there should be a butcher's feat that lets you make breastplates and helmets out of meat.
<NotCricket> So you could make armor hot dogs.

<Silversong> I still remember when I was new and you said I was the person who was probably going to kill you someday.
<Brentai> I still believe it.  It's just that now the circumstances will be we're cuddling and I'll say something and next thing you know, I'll be choking to death on a Keroppi.

* Niku has quit IRC (Quit: SPLURT)
<Man_on_the_Internet> His forceful ejaculation propelled him clear off IRC.
<Arcturus> I'm just THAT GOOD
* Arcturus threatens Squizzle with one
<Man_on_the_Internet> We've already established that my ejaculations do not threaten adjacent squares.
<memo> if only we could find a way to use this technology to provide a substitute for fossil fuels
<patito> That would bring a new meaning to man powered machines.
<Arcturus> I'm now imagining Dr. Brown in BttF going, "It runs on semen, marty! *fapfapfap*"
<patito> Show us on the doll where the physicist touched you.

<Romosome> DID MY PACKAGE COME TODAY
<Brentai> My package came today.
<Romosome> what was in it?
<memo> boom chicka wow wow
<Brentai> Mostly semen.
<memo> Brent: Romo got caught in traffic and will be late to the joke tonight

<R^2> I wonder how much of Samus's post-mission report was "I waited until the monster revealed its weak point, then shot it with missiles until it died. Then I got a suit upgrade in the next room."


<R^2> Welcome to #finalfight. #fi ina lfiigh hgi ifla if#
<R^2> Hello. And... goodbye!
<McDohl> Dildos!  And you're walking around!  That's so funny!  Wel come tooo  #fi fi final fi fi fight.
<R^2> "Yes" means "No". "No" means "Fuck off." Do you understand?
* Arcturus gets flashbacks to earthbound. ARRRRRGH.
<R^2> Thank you, Ted Turner. That was the joke. 

<Romosome> Tri-stat dX has campaign suggestions for fucking Reality TV and Romantic Comedy campaigns?
<kashan> HAHA, I want to do a romantic comedy campaign.
<JDigital> It also suggests Mickey Mouse style cartoons and campaigns where the players are animals.
<Brentai> omg furn/m
<Moctobot> ...
<Romosome> campaigns where the players are animals sounds neat.
<Romosome> As opposed to campaigns where the players are humanoid foxes with three penises.
<Romosome> Then again, I'm talking to the room that resulted in that Dickgirl Bebop RPG.
<Cappy> .
<Roger> Hey shut up
<Roger> My dick raping Duke Tolgo saved lives

<Roger> I was fighting a Sol Chipp team with Faust in Isuka
<Roger> and I butt stabbed Chipp.
<JDigital> ha
<JDigital> PAINFUL END
<Roger> And while we're in that invincable state, Sol is running around like a chicken with its head cut off spamming gun flames.
<JDigital> haha
* Faust has joined #finalfight
* Faust buttstabs Roger
* Faust has left #finalfight
<JDigital> GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME GUN FLAME

<Mediocrity> MGS3 has a crotchgrab scene. 
<PirateJack> you don't say
<Mediocrity> But it's not one of those "OMG YOU'RE A GIRL" moments.
<Mediocrity> It's more like "I'm checking your dick size to see if you're really who you say you are."
<Roger> 'cause only badass Snake has a giant penis.
<Mediocrity> It's that crotch-grabber-man has MAD BUTTSEX with the guy Snake is pretending to be.
<PirateJack> ...
<PirateJack> Snake is sodomized?
<Mediocrity> No.
<Mediocrity> Snake pretends to be a guy who gets buttsexed, but never actually receives buttsex. 
<PirateJack> what, he sneaks a fake rubber butt in there or something?
<Mediocrity> Snake puts on a disguise.
<Mediocrity> The disguise happens to be some guy's gay lover.
<Mediocrity> The guy doesn't believe Snake is that guy, so he grabs his crotch, since he's familiar with it. 
<PirateJack> oh, so there is no actual transaction of fluids via Snake's anus? 
<Mediocrity> No. 
<Mediocrity> It's a rather bizarre scene. 
<Roger> Is the guy fooled?
<Roger> Or says LOOK AT THIS MONSTER
<Mediocrity> Snake's crotch fails to hold up.
<Roger> Zing.
<Mediocrity> I guess if it could hold up, he'd have to change his name to Solid Anaconda. 
<PirateJack> more like Solid Garter Snake am i rite?
<Exdeath> YOU WILL IDENTIFY SOLID SNAKE BY HIS SOLID SNAKE 

<TedBelmont> I read that as "girl sues her father for child support".
<TedBelmont> I was like what the joxam.
<PirateJack> Joxam has ascended into divinity?

[19:34] <Romosome> HEY THE BOSS'S CQC IS NEAT AND ALL BUT I'D RATHER SEE HER BOX
[19:35] <Romosome> get it
[19:35] <Romosome> ha
[19:35] * Romosome slinks away

<Esperath> They should just release the Katamari Damacy engine and let people develop their own games.
<Lyrai> Esperath - If they did that, you just know that 90% of the games would be people rolling up penises with a boob as the Katamari
<Esperath> Yeah, that sounds fine.

<Xerox> Hey guys, funny story.
<gaspump> There we go.
<Nedlinpopo> whereas pascal is dead in the Historical sense
<Arcturus> Xerox: I'm laughing already.
<Xerox> The other day, my co-workers and I were looking over the list of words to flag for ESRB purposes.
<@terra> OH NO! What happened next!?
<Xerox> These words were pretty typical. "Fuck, shit, damn, hell, kill, ass, sex" blah blah blah.
<gaspump> I thought Delphi was OOP Pascal.
<Xerox> Except for one. "Power between your legs."
<Xerox> I have no idea why, but power between your legs is specifically stated as a negative from the ESRB. SPECIFICALLY. It's the only thing on the list that's not a single word.
<Arcturus> ...
<Arcturus> ha
<@terra> o_o;
<Xerox> Which really sucks, because we had to take Ron "Power between your legs" Johnson out of the game.
<gaspump> Perhaps an advertisement for Rez with the vibrator option.
<@terra> where do you work these days, Xerox?
<Nedlinpopo> man i could see that being a problem for motorcycle games

<gaspumpT41> #finalfight starts shutting down...
<R^2> It is now safe to turn off your #finalfight.
<Arcturus> My #finalfight doesn't have enough memory :(
<gaspumpT41> I just upgraded my #finalfight to a gig of ram. It's so much faster now.
<Mediocrity> My #finalfight keeps crashing on me.
<Arcturus> #finalfight is like an old hard drive. Full of heat, bad sectors, and failures. But still holds a lot of good stuff.
<Xerox|Sleepage> #finalfight touched me in my naughty place.
<Lyrai> My #finalfight tells me what music I should listen to
<gaspumpT41> Shit... I need my Notes ID.
<Exdeath> I like #finalfight. It's comfy and easy to...Ah, fuck it.
<gaspumpT41> I mean... uh... my #finalfight is missing my Notes ID.
<Mediocrity> Comfy and easy to fuck?
<NotCricket> Yes.

<Lyrai> http://www.pvponline.com The long post about anime girls confuses me. Is he apologizing for taking a crack at Megatokyo or something else? 
<Zaratustra> Lyrai: he is 
<Lyrai> When did he take a crack at Piro/whoever the fuck draws it now? 
<Zaratustra> he said something like 'Largo is a father, congrats, that's something Piro won't be able to steal from him'
<Zaratustra> and then Piro went APESHIT
<Zaratustra> 14-year-old schoolgirls across the earth raised their genuine Rayearth swords and called for Kurtz's head
<Lyrai> As did 18 year old Anime otkus 
<Lyrai> *otakus.
<Lyrai> They stood up, the mountains of cheetos and pockey crumbs tumbling down, as they vowed to have their revenge, on this....bastard. This souless, gutless bastard who had DARED to mock THEIR MIGHTY GOD.
<Lyrai> And then they sat back down, winded.

<Lyrai> AUGH
<Lyrai> They’re making ANOTHER Land Before Time Movie
<Esperath> After they stopped numbering them, I gave up all hope.
<Lyrai> They need to make ones
<Lyrai> lIke
<Lyrai>  The Land Before Time: The Land After Time
<Arcturus> What're they on now, 9?
<Esperath> THE LAND BEFORE TIME X-2
<Esperath> Every class is the mascot class.
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Tournament Edition.
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Trading Spaces.
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: The Hunt for a Starbucks
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Affording Starbucks
<Esperath> Turn the corner, first building on your right.
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Sera does Dallas.
<Esperath> And the second one.
<Esperath> And the third one.
<Arcturus> The Land Before Closing Time. :D
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Warrior Within
<Arcturus> The Land Before Time: Ohshi A Meteor!
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: FATALITY
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time Special Edition: In This Version, Thumper Bites First!
<Lyrai> Land Before Time: Littlefoot Meets Bonk.
<Esperath> Littlefoot gets bonked?
<Arcturus> The Land Before Time: Furry Edition (Now with hardcore Littlefoot x Cera axxxtion)
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: 2 hours of blank video tape
<Lyrai> The Land Before Time: Neo-Cretacious is about to E-X-P-L-O-D-E
<Lyrai> <Littlefoot> TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..I mean, SHARPTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH
<Esperath> The Land Before Time: Suck My Cock
<Arcturus> The Land Before Time: The Search for More Sequels
<Esperath> I think I've heard that one on Conan.
<Arcturus> It's a reference to the non-existant Spaceballs 2.
<Lyrai> Land Before Time - Do The Mario.
<Esperath> Now is the perfect time for a Spaceballs 2, anyway.
<Esperath> The acting would be orders of magnitude better than angstboy.
<Lyrai> THe Land Before Time - Discovering the eloH

<sede> The other day I was assembling one whole computer for my dad out of the myriad of partial computers laying around, and I noticed someone had spilled soda on the keyboard I was gonna use. Spilled a lot of soda. I hope it was just soda. So I completely took it apart and cleaned every key individually, only to find out the soda was the only thing holding it together apparently.
<sede> So now I have a whole bunch of spare really clean keys.
<sede> They made great stocking stuffers.

Niku: Sami's super CEO power is sick.
Zaratustra: what is it
Niku: She can capture any building in one turn.
Niku: Including HQs.
Detonator: CEO power?
Niku: .. CO, whatever.
Detonator: She must take after Bill Gats.
Detonator: Gates
Niku: And stole his E, apparantly.

<Romosome> !quote *boobles*
<myew> Sorry, there were no quotes found matching *boobles*
<Romosome> !addquote <Roger> Booble  <Romosome> BOOBLES
-myew- Your quote has been added to my database: <Roger> Booble  <Romosome> BOOBLES
<Romosome> there
<Moctobot> ...
<Romosome> another mystery solved!
<Roger> ...you never said boobles you twat.
<Romosome> thanks to
<Romosome> ROMOSOME, TIME POLICE
<Moctobot> ...
* Romosome hums theme music
* TimeCop shoots Romosome in the face
* TimeCop drag drag drag
<TimeCop> My work here is done
* TimeCop vwoop

<NotCricket> Wasn't Sony famous for quality manufacturing, at some point?
<kashan> In the realm of lost electronics.
<kashan> most... lost wroks to maybe.
<NotCricket> !addquote <kashan> most... lost wroks to maybe.
<NotCricket> It is a surreal masterpiece, this line.
<Niku> Okay, I really need to get cracking on that stupid poem now.  Hmmn.
<NotCricket> Ask kashan if you can use that line.
<NotCricket> It'll be like a Lewis Caroll thing.
<NotCricket> lost wroks to maybe | a blithe over life | question crup baby? | the mention sed siphe
<NotCricket> IT IS A LOVE POEM

<R^2> I found out the other day that male ejaculate leaves the penis at an average of 28 miles per hour. 
<R^2> In contrast, your average city bus goes about 25 miles per hour. 
<R^2> I think that means if you masturbate while riding the bus, you can beat yourself home.

<terra> I'm in my Game Design class and the professor is going over plot points and asks if anybody's ever played a game where there was a midpoint that changed the entire game
<terra> and I shoutted AERIS DIES as loud as my personality would allow me to
<terra> and SOME PEOPLE IN THE CLASS were like "wait what, she dies?!" and the professor is all "You know the rule, it's been too long to complain about spoilers"
<terra> it was awesome

<terra> Roger couldn't live off the land if his life depended on it
<terra> he'd be like "ooh berries num num" and then he's shitting his intestines out a few hours later
<Roger> Roger uses every part of the buffalo.
<terra> Roger thinks Buffalo have wings.
<Roger> And robots inside.
<terra> We're whalers on the moon!
<Fortinbras> but wait there aren't whales on the moon
<Fortinbras> that is conspicuous sir
<terra> Fortinbras: that's why we sing this whaling tune

<Romosome> OKCUPID IS MAKING ME STUPID
<Cappy> THE NEW SLOGAN
<Cappy> OKCUPID MAKES YA STUPID
<Cappy> It rhymes!
<Fortinbras> myew, we should make you an okcupid profile.
<myew> Fortinbras: Geo: what the hell, i'll go for an okcupid profile.
<Romosome> ...
<Esper|Sleep> ...
<Moctobot> ...
<Cappy> ....
<Romosome> I hate it when she answers coherently.

<Malikial> Kazz, I want to make a gay Narxblosch(SP) pirate that broadcasts the same statement everytime he attemptsd to capture a ship, "Comply and you will get the best anal sex 200 tenticals can give!"
<Romosome> learn to spell Tenticles, then.
<Romosome> .....
<Romosome> FUCK

* terra captures Roger in a pokeball.
* Roger wiggle
* Roger wiggle
* Roger wiggle
* Roger click
* terra renames Roger to CUDDLES3
* Roger starts with Scratch and Growl
* terra teaches Roger Hyper Beam from a TM.
* Roger honestly thinks Return is a better move
* terra honestly doesn't care, since Return requires that he treat Roger well.
Roger: But Return has a max attack of 102 whiles Hyper Beam only 140.
Roger: So that in two turns, Hyper beam does only 140 whiles Return does 204.
terra: But Return is based off of friendship, isn't it?
Roger: And physical power, yeah.
terra: And you have neither of those things!
Roger: :(

<Lyrai> And now, a Megatokyo forums quote.
<Lyrai> "If fucking America wouldn't have bombed the secret gundam development lab in Japan during World War Eye Eye Japan would be the leader of the world and there would be wars with space colonies using mobit suits. And that why I fucking Hate Bush."
<Dogstar> ...
<Dogstar> Burn them. Salt the earth.
<patito> That's sad.

Sharkey: Or maybe I'll play Katamari. I still haven't gotten very far.
Silversong: Eee!  Play it more.
Sharkey: And Lisa HATES the king.
Silversong: What?!  How can you hate someone who talks in record scratches?
Sharkey: I am, against my better judgement, rather fond of him.
Sharkey: He reminds me of my dad.
Silversong: I'm not sure whether to laugh at that or be worried.
Sharkey: He was pretty drunk through most of my childhood.
Silversong: Ah.
Sharkey: ... though he wasn't quite so whimsical. More abusive, really.
Sharkey: I don't think I'm going to play Katamari right now.

<Cait> I hate you all.
<DN> You only say that because we killed your family.
<DN> ...and had sex with their bodies.
<DN> And then fed them to the brains.
<terra> w
<Aintaer> And took pictures.
<Aintaer> And sold them on the internets.
<Aintaer> All of them.
<DN> And gave the proceeds to the "We hate Cait" Club.
<Pest> And then we ruined the funeral by turning what was left of the corpses into puppets.
<Pest> That funeral was great.
<DN> We did Hamlet.

<Classic> What're you thinking Brentai?
<Brentai> . o O (Boobs.)
<Classic> For the cast?
<Brentai> . o O (Pussy.)
<Classic> Anything else?
<Brentai> . o O (Pizza.)
<Classic> Sounds promising.

Zaratustra: An elephant's vaginal opening is not external but located inside this chamber called the vestibule. The vaginal opening is about dime-sized with two false openings, or pockets, on either side. And the bladder's opening is also nearby, and much larger, within the vestibule.
Zaratustra: Also, flames shoot out at random intervals



There's a rather long quote that starts with anime and ends with people shoving dynamite into their ass and jerking off to it. Not sure if I should post that.
Here is Wrath and Myew talking to each other in an endless loop (http://www.biohunterhq.com/~Betadays/LyraiStuff/dumbfuckery.txt)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 21, 2008, 05:54:22 PM
<Defenestration> I just want a penis that can cleave a man in half
<Lee-Ham> a man?
<Lee-Ham> gaaaaay
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 23, 2008, 11:40:32 AM
Woops, got sidetracked. Here you go!

<Romosome> Now you've got me picturing Inside Out Girl with floppy socks on
<Romosome> like, just floppy socks.
<@Sharkey> She has an alternate schoolgirl outfit now, romo.
<Romosome> and a backpack
<Romosome> ....
<Romosome> I must see this
<@Sharkey> It's more the catholic schoolgirl bit than a fuku, but still nice.
<Romosome> Fuku you too.
<@Sharkey> I should make her fourth outfit the schoolgirl bit, but with the exposed muscles and veins.
<Ministar> Wait, so the issue 4 stuff is on test?
<@Sharkey> Is it already?
<Romosome> Oh, you mean the 3rd one ISN'T with the inside-out skin?
<Romosome> Awww.
<Romosome> That's what I was picturing.
<Ministar> ...oh, I thought you were making a schoolgirl outfit with the issue 4 stuff.
<@Sharkey> No, it's a typical schoolgirl bit. Because then I can take her clothes off, and THEN I can blow her skin off.
<@Sharkey> It's like a strip tease in three horrible, horrible parts.
* Sharkey changes topic to 'OF COURSE I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN'

[21:01] L: i am helping someone out at the moment but i'll be in there shortly
[22:16] Brentai: See, in my mind, Treesock totally said
[22:25] Brentai: [21:01] L: i am eating someone out at the moment but i'll be in there shortly
[25:29] L: okay
[25:31] L: i am coming
[25:47] Brentai: See, in my mind, Treesock totally said
[25:52] Brentai: [25:29] L: okay [25:31] L: i am coming

Lyrai: Wanna hear random trivia?
Lyrai: Keanu Reeves got enough money for 'acting' in Matrix Reloaded that he could bring at least two Third World countries out of poverty for several years
Brentai: ...woah.
Brentai: .......
Brentai: OH SHIT I DID NOT MEAN THAT AS A JOKE.

[14:45] * Brentai gets bored, finds something female, does something scandalous to it.
[14:54] Kazz: BRENTAI NO
[14:58] Stush: i hate waiting :(
[14:58] * Kazz give birth.
[15:10] Brentai: You didn't have to wait long.

[17:26] <Malikial> What the fuck was there a writing pen in my shoe for?
[17:27] <KayumiWork> So you could write footnotes

[01:07] <sei> the board has strange features!
[01:07] <@terra> like
[01:07] <sei> upcoming calender
[01:07] <sei> calenDARRRRRR
[01:07] <sei> calenhurrrrrrrrrrrr
[01:07] <sei> why?
[01:07] <@Elfin> Callandor, you dork.
[01:08] <sei> kalimdor?
[01:08] <Romosome> Colander.
[01:08] <sei> you're really straining with that one, romo.
[01:08] <Romosome> No way, that's a perfect leap
[01:08] <@Elfin> Romo does nothing BUT strain.
[01:08] <Romosome> oh
[01:08] <Romosome> .....I get it now
[01:08] <@terra> oh
[01:08] <sei> welcome back to the #finalfight quotes thread.
[01:09] <Romosome> fuck

[14:34] Kayumi: myew, anus
[14:38] myew: Kayumi: Vin diesel's anus is present, but non-functioning.

[06:07] SailorPsychick: why must pyoko always be in imminent danger
[09:19] Brentai: PYOKO IS IN IMMINENT DANGER=PYO
[09:25] Brentai: DANGER-PYOOOOO!
[09:30] * SailorPsychick shakes Brentai
[09:36] SailorPsychick: WE HAVE NO CHANCE IF WE DO NOTHING
[09:40] Brentai: Wahwahwahwahwahwah-pyo!
[09:43] SailorPsychick: So instead let's do everything.
[09:57] Brentai: I know-pyo!  We should do lots of things-pyo!
[10:02] Brentai: I'll take off my clothes-pyo!
[10:15] SailorPsychick: ...
[10:20] SailorPsychick: wait, you were wearing clothes before?
[10:34] * Brentai unzips his Brentai suit to reveal...
[10:37] *** You are now known as Brentai_.
[10:41] *** You are now known as Brentai__.
[10:45] Brentai__: ...uuuh.
[11:03] Brentai__: MY UNDERSCORE IS GROWING PYO
[11:08] *** You are now known as Brentai___.
[11:12] *** You are now known as Brentai____.
[11:14] *** You are now known as Brentai_____.
[11:14] terra: LEt's make it longer!
[11:31] Brentai_____: It stopped-pyo...
[12:04] * terra molests Brentai.
[12:23] *** You are now known as Brentai______.
[12:23] SailorPsychick: IF IT STOPS THIS BUS WILL EXPLODE
[12:25] Brentai______: PYO!!!!
[12:33] terra: HARDER
[12:34] * SailorPsychick grudgingly assists
[12:39] *** You are now known as Brentai_______.
[12:42] Brentai_______: PYO PYO!!!!!
[12:51] terra: FASTER
[12:55] *** You are now known as Brentai________.
[12:58] Brentai________: THUNDER
[13:42] terra: THUNDER
[13:49] *** You are now known as Brentai_________.
[13:49] SailorPsychick: STRONGER
[13:51] Brentai_________: THUNDER
[14:00] *** You are now known as Brentai_______________________.
[14:10] Brentai_______________________: THUNDERCATS-PYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
[14:11] terra: !!!
[14:17] * terra blown away
[14:37] * SailorPsychick vaporized, leaving naught but a shadow on a nearby wall
[14:40] PsEG: We are moved to tears by the size of that thing.

<MissCatEars> I am DYING
<MaGoG|Shower> dying?
<MissCatEars> yes
<MissCatEars> right at this very moment
<NotCricket> Put on your cat ears.
<NotCricket> Die cute.
<NotCricket> Live fast, die young, and leave an adorable corpse.
<Esperath> For people to violate.
<MissCatEars> please do not violate my corpse
<Xerox> You asked the wrong place.

<Lyrai> Heheheheehehehe
<Lyrai> Star Wars h-dojin
<McDohl> ?
<NotCricket> Luke/Leia
<McDohl> ...
<MadMAxJr> Force-sex.
<Lyrai> Gratuitous use of the word "Lightsaber' as a euphamism.
<PirateJack> hot hot Anakin/Obi-wan
<PirateJack> bitches
<Cannon> Vader X Jar-Jar.
<McDohl> NO.
<McDohl> WRONG
<PirateJack> Jar-Jar X Yoda
<Lyrai> "MEESA SO HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNY"
<McDohl> Palpatine X Jar-Jar
<Roger> More like
<Cannon> Chewbacca X ...Everybody.
<Roger> "MEESA SO LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEEENKINS"
<NotCricket> X-Wing X wing
<Cannon> Get in there, you big, furry oaf. I don't care what you smell.
<PirateJack> the wookie armym X the clone army
<McDohl> Cannon: Heh. :D
<Lyrai> PirateJack - so
<CUI> I hate you all
<NotCricket> Tie Fighter X Wing?
<McDohl> Cannon wins.
<Lyrai> Would that be a massive orgy or gangbang
* CUI cuts himself
<PirateJack> orgy
<NotCricket> EWOK ORGY!
<Roger> We need YTMND doujins
<MadMAxJr> R2 X Trash Compactors on the Detention Level
<PirateJack> there are female wookies, too, you know
<Kayumi> Hay guys
<Roger> You know, like
<Roger> Khan on Milton on NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sex
<Cannon> Like R2 doesn't have mad robot sex with every computer he "interfaces" with.
<McDohl> ...
<Ander> thank you for the yaoi now i cannot get into heaven. None of us can

<Cannon> ...Yeah. I want to hear the gunshot one.
<Xerox> It probably went a lot like this...
<Xerox> BANG!
<Cannon> Then the race started.
<PirateJack> then ducks died
<Cannon> And a dog laughed.
<Lyrai> "411?"
<Lyrai> "Yes, this is 411"
<Lyrai> "I need the Target on Blackst-* bang"
<Lyrai> <Otherline> 'what the fuck-fuckyOU SHOT HIM, DMAMIT"
<Lyrai> The call droped there.
<Lyrai> Got up, went to the supervisor, they told me to just take a break, and I talked to the police
<Romosome> holy jesus.
<Lyrai> We see the phone number it comes from, so that narrows it down
<Cannon> Thank God for that.
<Cannon> ...Okay, I'm a bigger bastard for noting this, but... He asked for the Target?
<Lyrai> Ouch, Cannon
<Lyrai> I just now got that,
<Lyrai>And it was cannon who got it

<Lyrai> THE FOLLOWING EVENTS ARE 100% TRUE
<Stush> lyrai makes everything exciting
* Lyrai is playing the PS2 Kiosk in Best Buy, enjoying a 1hr break playing Jak 3. Lyrai then hears the sounds of someone running, looks over into the nearby game aisle, and sees a person wearing a purple suit, clown facepaint, green hair, and the whole 9 yards running up the aisle
<Xerox> What about driving through heavy traffic. Can she make that exciting?
<Stush> hehe
<Stush> xerox, she probably fires chickens at the other cars out of a bazooka
<Lyrai> Xerox - When Big Blue is on the car stereo, fuck yes
<Lyrai> ANYWAY, continuing.
<Cannon> Or makes chicken noises while firing a tomato bazooka.
<Lyrai> I just tsand there and blink as Joker runs into a enarby aisle, and return to playing Jak 3
<Lyrai> However, a few seconds later, I hear more running!
<Cannon> As Batman gives chase!
<@Maou> ohhh
<Cannon> ...Sorry. Continue.
<Lyrai> And..it's Batman. Who runs halfway up the aisle, and then looks at me, and I just point at the aisle the joker went in and go "He went there"
<@Maou> lyrai got caught in a batman begins launch event
<Cannon> ...What the shit?
<Lyrai> Yes, cannon was correct.
<@Maou> that's pretty cool
<Lyrai> This chase continues for 5-10 minutes before Batman chases the Joker out the store.
<Stush> whoah
<Stush> that's cool
<@Maou> I wish I could have seen this, Lyrai
<Stush> i bet the joker was pulling another boner
<@Maou> Joker was totally pulling a boner on Lyrai.
<Stush> heh
* DN pulls Maou's boner
* @Maou fucks DN.
<Xerox> So... did you ever find out why Batman and the Joker were in the store?
<DN> suffering sapho!
<Stush> was the joker jack nicholson?
<Cannon> Or why you weren't gassed with Smile-X?
<Cannon> I'd watch my back, you know. You ratted out the Clown Prince of Crime!
<Cannon> Err. Best Buy. I get those mixed up.
<Stush> kayumi, are you sure?
<Stush> think about it
<Cannon> ...I guess I'm curious why Batman and Joker were at Best Buy, too.
<Lyrai> Xerox - no.
<Cannon> I mean... Fuck. Are they really on a budget for gadgets or what?!
<Cannon> "Ooo! Batarangs are five bucks each! Score!"

<Lyrai> Wait, waht the fuck is Pyo?
<DN> pyoko money
<Lyrai> Is there a buying-shit-for-post-shit-gaiaesque-thing on the boards now?
<Niku> Yes.
<Drethelin> yes
<Lyrai> .
<Lyrai> AWESOME.
<Brentai> Yes, except apparently you can neither earn money nor buy things with it.
<DN> you can buy ninjas
<DN> and steal other people's pyos
<Lyrai> Terra can I have 10,000 Pyo?
<Drethelin> you earn money by posting
<NotCricket> by pyosting
<Niku> can i punch nc right in the pyo for that
<Lyrai> Get in line, Niku
<Niku> ...
<Niku> I asked first.
<Niku> I AM THE LINE

Previously, on #finalfight: Squizzle was instructing Kazz on how one would go about setting an automatic timed command to keep oneself from idling out, should one have an ISP that does suck mighty ass.. *fade to scene*
<Squizzle> The syntax would be something like: /timer n t [action]
<Kazz> okay.....
<Squizzle> Where n is the number of repetitions (Use 0 for infinite.); t is the delay in seconds between actions; and [action] is the command.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<Kazz> How do I turn it off?
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<sede> OH GOD YOU'LL GO BLIND!
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<sede> SO WILL I
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<Treeuoyhtiwgnipeels> hahahahaha
<Kazz> HOW OD I TURN IT OFF
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<Treeuoyhtiwgnipeels> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<sede> This is better than any lyrai trigger..
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<Squizzle> /timer1 off
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
* Kazz jerks off on your face.
<Treeuoyhtiwgnipeels> aw darn
<Treeuoyhtiwgnipeels> :(
<Kazz> I'm chafing now
<CUI> Got repeating times and delay mixed, did we?
<Kazz> No, that was what I wanted.

<Squizzle> !quote last
<myew> (677)  <Lyrai> http://img287.echo.cx/img287/7426/11179385917295ah5jl9ya.jpg  <Al_Baron> :D <Exdeath> AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH [Date: 09 Jul 2005]
<Moctobot> oh god
<Niku> !quotedelete *677*
<Niku> >:(
<Roger> Lyrai, master of the lame quotes.
<Lyrai>  I don't see either of you coming up with anything better
<Niku> !quote *Niku*
<myew> (390) <Fortinbras> I climbed up something, because I figured it would go away like a bear. <Niku> BEARS CLIMB TREES, FORT. <Niku> BEARS CLIMB TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. <Xerox> Yeah, bears climb trees. <Fortinbras> I hadn't calculated tha- exactly. [Date: 10 Feb 2005] (1/18 matches found)
<Niku> !quote *Niku*
<myew> (399) <NotCricket> Is there a word opposite to "mercy"? <Niku> "terra" [Date: 10 Feb 2005] (2/18 matches found)
<Niku> !quote *Niku*
<myew> (458) <Niku> myew, gumbo <myew> Niku: This week's dish: cajun style gumbo! The ingredient -- the prinny squad. [Date: 10 Feb 2005] (3/18 matches found)
<Niku> !quote *Niku*
<myew> (474) <Niku> do a little simply math here [Date: 10 Feb 2005] (4/18 matches found)
<Niku> okay nevermind

<Lyrai> What DOES "CUI" stand for
<Exdeath> Cock Under Invasion.
<Exdeath> It's a RTS.
<sede> Capture The Cock!
<sede> It is short for "cuidado", the spanish word for "more cock, dadio?"
<Brentai> Colorado University Ignoramus
<Brentai> Actually, I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was Chatting Under the Influence.
<Exdeath> I WILL CONSTRUCT A ROBOTIC VERSION OF BRENTAI
<Exdeath> AND CALL IT
<Exdeath> BRENT AI
<Brentai> Ow.
<sede> Can't Use Internet
<quinn> Cock User Interface
<Brentai> Get ye internet.
<Exdeath> Cock Us In.
<sede> Cracks Under Interrogation!
* Exdeath cocks CUI in.
<Brentai> Child Uterus Infestation
<Exdeath> Crap, Urinary Infection!
<sede> Creative Username Inserted-here
<sede> Damn, I should have saved Insertion for something better
<Exdeath> Cock-Uterus Insertion.
<Brentai> Cock-Uterus Interaction
<CUI> <Lyrai> What DOES "CUI" stand for <-- Children's Underpants Inspector
<sede> Coitus Under Interruption!
<Brentai> Aww.  You ruined the mystery.
<CUI> I find it disturbing, althought not unexpected, how many times Cock as been proposed

<Squizzle> When it comes down to it, aren't Batman and Catwoman just a couple of furries yiffing on a rooftop?

[13:23] terra: Ducky?
[13:23] Vance: Ducky?
[13:24] * myew wins Vance and terra
[13:24] maou: SNAP
[13:24] terra: o_o
[13:25] Treesock: wtf
[13:25] Treesock: hahaha
[13:26] Vance: ...wow
[13:26] terra: maou: OH SnAP
[13:26] Vance: Terra, I think your bots are conspiring against us.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on November 01, 2008, 05:54:00 PM
<Aozaki> Soon I'll have my laptop mIRC up an running
<Aozaki> It doesn't have the most up to date scripts - it's from like, March or somesuch - but it has the basics
<Rygaron> Hmmm Is that long enough ago
<Rygaron> !cait
<Rygaron> Damn
<Aozaki> IT'S NOT UP AND RUNNING -YET-
<Aozaki> And thanks for reminding me, I'll make -sure- that that one's broken before I let it loose.
<Aozaki> OH GOD CAIT DON'T BAN ME I DIDN'T DO ANYTING
<Zaratustra> when chuck norris endorses a candidate, it's usually Mike Huckabee
<Cait> Why is Lyrai not Lyrai.
<JDigital> WHEN IT'S A JAR
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 05, 2008, 12:25:19 PM
<R^2> Don't tell ME how to breed Pokemon. Shut up and put your dick in that armor-plated kangaroo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on November 05, 2008, 12:30:36 PM
Posted here at ld's request.

13:14 < R^2> Perfectlynormaldog, the Perfectly Normal Pokemon. Eats and sleeps, doesn't battle, and doesn't fit in a Pokeball.
13:14 <+lady_duke> hahahaha
13:14 < R^2> (The irony here is that those attributes make it the opposite of perfectly normal in the Pokemon world)
13:14 <+Kayumi> why don't people fit in pokeballs
13:15 <@Cait> Bill fit in one.
13:15 <+lady_duke> cause they dont feel like it
13:15 <+lady_duke> no he didnt
13:15 <+lady_duke> not in the show anyway
13:15 <+lady_duke> but in the show he wasnt all halfpokemon or whatever
13:15 <+lady_duke> he was just in a derpy costume
13:16 <+lady_duke> oww my ears
13:16 < R^2> I'd love for the next game to have a subplot where the kids break up a dogfighting or cockfighting ring or something, and have to explain the difference between training animals to fight and raising Pokemon.
13:17 < BongoBill> What are you talking about, Duke? I can totally fit in a pokeball.
13:17 < BongoBill> Watch this.
13:17 <+Kayumi> why would they include that?
13:17 < MetalSlime> This is going to be like the morph ball experiments the space pirates tried, isn't it?
13:17 <+lady_duke> i raise my pikkymens to be adorable and lovely :3
13:17 <+Kayumi> pokemon is not about morals or a message, but merchandise
13:17  * R^2 throws an Ultra Ball at BongoBill
13:18 <+lady_duke> i love pokemon merchandise
13:18  * R^2 catch
13:18 < BongoBill> Slime: I can't hear you over the sound of all my bones and organs breaking.
13:18  * R^2 twitch
13:18  * R^2 twitch
13:18 <+lady_duke> i wish i had money to buy some
13:18  * R^2 twitch
13:18  * R^2 caught BONGOBILL
13:18 <+lady_duke> would you like to name your bongobill?
13:18  * R^2 nicknames him "Cuteymuffins"
13:18 <+lady_duke> hahahaha
13:18 < BongoBill> That's too many letters.
13:18 -!- BongoBill is now known as CUTEYMUFFI
13:19  * R^2 dumps CUTEYMUFFI into a PC box and never gives it a second thought
13:19 <+lady_duke> turns out bongobill is an impish nature
13:19 <+lady_duke> and will not be a very good battler
13:19 < MetalSlime> You should have CUTEYMUFFI breed with a gyrados
13:20 < CUTEYMUFFI> Not even going to bother with breeding? The expectation that I'd get to have sex with a ditto impersonating myself is the whole reason I got into this gig.
13:20 <+lady_duke> hahaha
13:20 < R^2> On the upside, this is me we're talking about, and eventually I'll pull you out of storage so you can have lots of sex. Then I'll probably let you go and raise your kids for you.
13:20 <+lady_duke> haha
13:20 < CUTEYMUFFI> That is a sweet deal, is what I think.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on November 05, 2008, 12:45:47 PM
Quote
[17:26] <Malikial> What the fuck was there a writing pen in my shoe for?
[17:27] <KayumiWork> So you could write footnotes


The only one that made me laugh aside from Cannon's Han Solo quote.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on November 05, 2008, 02:57:40 PM
Quote
<Aintaer> california is just in the closet.
<Aintaer> Soon it will come out
<Aintaer> and start making out with Nevada.
<Aintaer> Then Texas will leave the party complaining of queers.
<government_ham> trying hard to hide its erection
<Kayumi> erection night special
<Aintaer> See I was going to make that joke last night
<Aintaer> but didn't see how I could uh
<Aintaer> fit it in
<government_ham> Both of you are winners.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 13, 2008, 11:41:40 AM
Quote from: Matt Boyd
I have a new bet with Dom on how movies will demonstrate that they take place in an alternate reality now that the president actually is black. He says Asian president. My money is on female Muslim president.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 14, 2008, 12:07:33 PM
Quote from: Aristotle (allegedly)
We are what we repeatedly do.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 14, 2008, 12:08:57 PM
That would explain why everybody thinks I'm a jerk.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on November 14, 2008, 12:44:33 PM
Is that also a quote from Aristotle?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on November 14, 2008, 12:46:13 PM
Quote from: Aristotle (allegedly)
We are what we repeatedly do.

Apparently correct attribution. The full quote is
Quote from: Aristotle
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on November 14, 2008, 02:12:44 PM
...




...




...




...




...




I am all your mothers.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 14, 2008, 02:17:24 PM
That would explain why everybody thinks you're a jerk.  Er... finger.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on November 14, 2008, 02:36:24 PM
:scanners:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on November 16, 2008, 03:47:35 AM
[6:40] <BongoBill> Why can't I type.
[6:40] <Stushcinta> You know who else couldn't type?
[6:40] <Stushcinta> Hitler
[6:41] <BongoBill> You know who else was Hitler?
[6:41] <BongoBill> Hitler.
[6:41] <Stushcinta> :(
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 23, 2008, 12:38:26 PM
<OHakubi> By extension, more porn games need QTEs.
<OHakubi> Fap fap fap fap fapfapfapfap OH GOD INCOMING CAR DODGE DODGE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 23, 2008, 01:48:49 PM
<Treesock> maou, activate penis sensors
* maou scans #finalfight
<maou> Penis levels of 3 percent detected.
*** Geothermal [geocorp@toronto-HSE-ppp3938017.sympatico.ca] has joined #finalfight
<jdigital_> maou, activate penis sensors
* maou waves tricorder around a bit
<maou> Penis levels of 97 percent detected.

(18:44:39) Brentai: Tess and I figured out what went wrong with Iron Chef USA.
(18:44:49) Brentai: They grabbed the wrong Enterprise captain.
(18:45:07) Esperath: Would it be all better if they had Patrick Stewart?
(18:45:12) Esperath: Biting into a pepper?
(18:45:13) Brentai: Imagine if it was Patrick Stewart up there instead of Shatner.  "Today's theme ingredient is... TEA EARL GRAY!  ENGAGE!"
(18:46:23) Brentai: But yeah, you remember why Kaga was so cool?  It was a talented and well-respected stage actor up there, grinning like an idiot because he knows what he's doing is utterly ridiculous.
(18:46:39) Esperath: And Shatner is just some fat old guy working for priceline.com.
(18:46:44) Brentai: Who do we have in America like that?  MAKE IT SO!

(18:47:12) Mr_Saturn: Arnuld
(18:47:30) Mr_Saturn: AGGH GET TO DEH THEME INGREDENT
(18:47:43) Aintaer: AGGH SEE MY QUICHE
(18:48:31) Zaratustra: Ahnuld bites a bit off the pepper, throws it and IT EXPLODES
(18:49:05) Niku: The curtain is pulled off the theme ingredient, and it's a Predator standing there with skinned humans.

(18:49:28) Zaratustra: Today's theme ingredient is HUMAN SKULLS
(18:49:37) Niku: AND NOW, YOU MUST FACE MY IRON CHEF: SUB-ZERO!
(18:49:57) Mr_Saturn: Iron chef ninja
(18:51:07) Brentai: Ninja pizza.  Pizza that vanish quickly without trace.
(18:51:58) Brentai: MUSHROOMALITY
(18:52:17) Nerd: FLAWLESS SEASONING

<DNi> hah
<DNi> my mom's gonna translate Modest Proposal into "easy English" for the ESL class she teaches
<Brentai> ...why in the hell would she do that?
<Brentai> "Your students may leave school knowing how to fill out job applications, but mine can threaten to eat the white people's babies."

<myew> I just picked a very drunk irish bloke up.
<Jacinta> JD?
<myew> Perhaps.
<Jacinta> or dregan?
<myew> i wish i knew

[11:10] terra: I've had sex with a girl on my piano
[11:13] Romosome: having sex with a girl on a piano sounds very flamboyant but very very awkward
[11:14] terra: It was my finest opus.
[11:14] Dogstar: Penis de resistance.

<TedBelmont> My nephew is playing Mario Kart 64, and while playing the level with all the Thwomps, he asked me if the Thwomp that's in a jail cell is there because he didn't want to smash anybody.

<Arcturus> Asians have tiny dicks.
<Exdeath> Hey, fuck you, limey.
<Arcturus> If you did, i'd never feel it

<Romosome> Japanese has no plurals.
<Brentai> It does, I don't think they really like to use them though.
<Romosome> they hate plurals
<Romosome> every year the Japanese round up over 10,000 plural articles into crude pens and slaughter them in a huge festival
<Brentai> Running of the bull.
<terra> bulls.
<terra> oh
<terra> crap

(Insert like 2 pages mocking Nimduin here)

<Silkenray> There was this guy at my elementary schoool who told me that the way to make a gameboy display in color was to put the batteries in backwards.
<Ex|HOUSEMAID> ...
<terra> did you hit him with your gameboy until he bled to death?
<Silkenray> no
<Kazz> was this back when gameboys were 10 tons
<Silkenray> yes
<Kazz> i hollowed out a gameboy for shelter once when i was lost

<Dogstar> I just got a circlet with +1 to barbarian combat skills.
<Dogstar> Brent, interested?
<@Brentai> Hmm.
<@Brentai> Hard to say.  My helmet STILL gives me +3 to swords.
<Dogstar> 26 defence, and +16 life.
<Dogstar> Aah.
<Dogstar> I'll try to beat that.
<@Brentai> But +1 to all skills means bonus to Concentrate AND Battle Orders AND Swords.
<@Brentai> And some other stuff.
<Gogo> It's +1 combat skills.
<Gogo> Not all skills.
<@Brentai> ...oh.
<@Brentai> No, then.
<@Brentai> I like swords.
<Lyrai> Welcome to Corneria.

Guildenstern   Anyway, back to FUCKING MY MOUTH WITH THIS KEYBOARD.
Guildenstern   OH BABYw;rttu
Guildenstern   gffjhlk

<Gogo> Kayumi, have sex with your PS2.
<Kayumi> They changed some of the inputs for some moves.
<TedBelmont> Kayumi's a gentleman.
<Kayumi> No, my ps2 has refused my advances.
<Kayumi> It is an icy bitch.
<Aintaer> That's cold.
<Kayumi> and hey, I DID ask.
<Gogo> So go fuck an XBox.
<Gogo> They are very welcoming.
<Aintaer> Xbox gotta pay
<Silversong> Xboxes have loose morals?
<Mr_Saturn> that's because it's FAT
<Aintaer> Fat chicks need love too
<Mr_Saturn> :D
<Gogo> Big girls need love too!
<myew> smiley
<Aintaer> but they gota pay
<Silversong> ...wow.
<Gogo> MY Xbox has loose morals.
<Gogo> Probably because it lives with me.
<Silversong> This is patented, 100% certified #finalfight right here.

[00:28:44] *** Lyrai has joined #finalfight.
[00:28:49] myew: Sup Lyrai.
[00:28:50] Lyrai: PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENI
[00:28:51] Roger: That's amore

* AJ_Impy attacks Bush with honest elections
<myew> Bush is immune to 'honest elections'
* AJ_Impy attacks Bush with accurate criticism
<myew> aj_impy attacks Bush with 'accurate criticism' for 55396 damage.
* Mr_Saturn attacks bush with PRETZEL
<myew> bush takes 89827 damage from mr_saturn's 'PRETZEL'
* Brentai attacks Bush with impeachment
<myew> Bush absorbs the damage and gains 49970 HP!
<Brentai> Shit.

[18:39:12] <@teferi> "This is the type of computer that went to the moon in the Apollo missions from 1969 to 1972. There was one computer in the Lunar Excursion Module (LEM) and one the mothership (CM) circling above. It was the first use of integrated circuits, as still displayed in the timeline cabinet to the left. It's cycle time was 1 Mhz, 11 instructions. It had 1K of 16 bit words of erasable (RAM) core memory and 12K of read-only memory (ROM). The ROM held the "Colossus 249" flight
[18:39:14] <%md> I have extra disks
[18:39:45] <@teferi> yes, folks, we flew to the moon with 2kb of RAM.
[18:40:07] <JDigital> And I bet it didn't crash, either.
[18:40:22] <@teferi> no, it kinda couldn't
[18:40:26] <sei> that was a big RISC they took
[18:40:34] * You were kicked by teferi (that was hideous)


<NotCricket> "yaoi" should be pronounced like the surprised yelp normal people make when they discover it

<Brentai> If I ever run a theater and if that theater ever runs 2001 I'm going to snip out the Stargate sequence and replace it with, like, an episode of ThunderCats.  But I'll keep the glimpses of Bowman's face.
<Brentai> Thunder!  :O  Thunder!!  :OO  THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOO!  :OOO
<Lee-Ham> "My god... it's full of Snarf"
<Brentai> ...
<Brentai> ....
* Lee-Ham was kicked by Brentai (OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW)

<Kayin> A retractable penis.
<sei> inspector's gadget.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 23, 2008, 09:07:05 PM
* AJ_Impy attacks Bush with honest elections
<myew> Bush is immune to 'honest elections'
* AJ_Impy attacks Bush with accurate criticism
<myew> aj_impy attacks Bush with 'accurate criticism' for 55396 damage.
* Mr_Saturn attacks bush with PRETZEL
<myew> bush takes 89827 damage from mr_saturn's 'PRETZEL'
* Brentai attacks Bush with impeachment
<myew> Bush absorbs the damage and gains 49970 HP!
<Brentai> Shit.

Fuck you, posterity.  Fuck you so hard.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 23, 2008, 09:25:27 PM
I like how the only funny Guild quote is still pretty applicable.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 01, 2008, 05:01:23 AM
* maou does skeleton things.
* maou cackles and rocks out and attacks adventurers with a sword
* @Friday turns maou
* maou has sex with girls?
<@Friday> That would be a better special ability for Clerics to have
<@Friday> Reverse Gender Preference
<drethelin1> friday plenty of fundamentalists think they do have that ability
<maou> modern american priests try to use that power but most fags have too many hit die for it to work
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on December 04, 2008, 01:10:51 AM
<myew> Esperath: I haven't understood half of what you've said in this room, directed to her or not.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on December 04, 2008, 04:27:28 PM
<myew> ...I just found a heavy metal cover of the bush tax cuts. By letting these tax cuts expire, single mothers with two kids will pay an additional $1,800 annually.

...God, myew is adorable now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 05, 2008, 08:28:33 PM
<@Zaratustra> myew is the only person that makes sense in this channel.
<myew> Zaratustra: You're not being appreciated in this channel.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on December 05, 2008, 10:01:57 PM
myew... I think It's pretty safe to say she's sentient at this point.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on December 06, 2008, 09:00:00 AM
<myew> MarsDragon: I've always been dangerously close to sentient.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kashan on December 06, 2008, 10:39:52 AM
[09:41] <myew> Is demogorgon having a vanishey fit again?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on December 06, 2008, 03:54:21 PM
[09:41] <myew> Is demogorgon having a vanishey fit again?


 :ohshi~:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 07, 2008, 03:06:49 PM
<Romosome> yeah
<Romosome> well
<Romosome> when you hit 5 years
<Romosome> you just get a company sword
<Romosome> as like
<Romosome> a seniority thing
<Romosome> it's a trophy
<Romosome> it's just like, a sword
<Romosome> not from any of the games
<Romosome> it's cool
<Friday> "Romo, how long have you worked for blizzard?" "3/8"
<Romosome> what
<Romosome> hahaha
<Friday> "5 more years and I get the shoulders for the +10 energy bonus"
<Romosome> :D
<Romosome> at 5 you get a sword
<Romosome> at 10 you get a shield
<Romosome> and at 15 you get a ring
<Romosome> no joke
<Friday> what, really?
<Romosome> yes
<Friday> hahaha.
<Friday> what.
<Friday> fucking
<Romosome> :D
<Friday> at 20 do you get drawn into the lower planes and eaten by the Blizzard god
<Romosome> I don't think Blizzard IS 20 yet
<Romosome> so MAYBE!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on December 07, 2008, 03:13:21 PM
that's a bit too much grinding to get the full set
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on December 07, 2008, 05:31:04 PM
Once he gets to 15 they'll just patch the thing so everyone gets everything at 3 years anyway.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on December 14, 2008, 02:00:10 PM
<ThJed> You coming out with us tongiht?
<SamW> cant. moms drunk
<Arc> We can bring her along!
<ThJed> yeah, its cool
<SamW> haha
<ThJed> its cool
<SamW> hell
<SamW> i know you want her
<ThJed> No, i don't
<ThJed> We can sober her up.
<SamW> right fuck you
<SamW> you want to hit on her
<ThJed> No. I DON'T.
<SamW> I know you do
<ThJed> Is that what you wannna here? Fine. I want to do unspeakable things to your mom.
<ThJed> I want to make her scream, and make her say unspeakable things.
<ThJed> While you watch.
<ThJed>
<Arc> :3
<SamW> See
<ThJed> So are you coming out with us?
<SamW> cant m i'm drunk 2
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on December 18, 2008, 07:50:37 AM
Silversong: I saw a cardigan at the mall, and it was exactly what I wanted, with cute buttons and little ruffles and lace and everything.
Silversong: The largest size it came in was "3 years" :(
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 24, 2008, 10:07:50 AM
<yeoz> i want to forge a sword some day. that's one of the things on my list of things to do in my life
<Cait> Why not make a real one instead?
<yeoz> ...
<R^2> I lol'd.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on January 03, 2009, 06:11:13 PM
<Zaratustra> oh vortigaunts. They always have wise sayings and
<Zaratustra> "Grim piñata."
<Zaratustra> ... what did you just say
<myew> Oh vortigaunts. They always have to be a wise guy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on January 07, 2009, 12:45:52 PM
<melonhead> I won't let Andross have his way with me
<myew> I won't let andross have his way out of you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on January 07, 2009, 02:27:35 PM
<JDigital> vegans are dumb
<myew> Yes, dumb puppy romo romo dumb.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 08, 2009, 04:08:26 PM
<myew> Kazz obviously is gray hell.
<@Friday> myew, Kazz is obviously fat, and gay.
<myew> Friday: Kazz is obviously a fucking fat douchebag and he's got a little gay.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on January 08, 2009, 04:13:57 PM
Didn't I get yelled at like five times for posting myewstuff.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on January 08, 2009, 04:37:54 PM
You don't know when to stop, though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 08, 2009, 04:44:05 PM
Well there have been four myew posts in a row, so... yeah.  This would be about when.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 08, 2009, 04:44:53 PM
<myew> shut the fuck up WFE I can post here if I want
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 08, 2009, 04:45:46 PM
...I guess myew infecting Friday was inevitable.  Sigh.

I'll go get my shotgun.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 08, 2009, 04:48:09 PM
<myew> haha! I am immortal as long as I have this tiny plate in my head.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on January 08, 2009, 04:48:54 PM
But will he kill Friday... or himself? :dramaticpause:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 08, 2009, 05:00:40 PM
NO!  I MUST KILL THE MYEWS!!!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on January 08, 2009, 06:03:14 PM
<myew> Friday is a starlock, a taclord, a rogue, a shielding swordmage, and a mandatory hug hour!

I suggest we split this into myewquotes
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on January 09, 2009, 10:07:14 AM
<Kayumi> but, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
<Joxam> Yeah, people are stupid.
<myew> Yeah, people are stupid and i knew people around here are grotesquely fat.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on January 09, 2009, 05:10:19 PM
myewspew needs a triumphant return, yes.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 11, 2009, 10:42:36 AM
<myew> God damnit even amazon.com thinks i'm an unofficial gay.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on January 14, 2009, 11:47:51 PM
[2:43] * Romosome climbs maou
[2:43] * maou pulls Romo's prostate out through his urethra.
[2:43] <Romosome> that's not very nice
[2:43] <JDigital> don't knock it til you've tried it
[2:43] <BongoBill> And, just like that, maou invented a new sex move.
[2:44] <BongoBill> We're dealing with a genius here.
[2:44] <maou> it only works once.
[2:44] <maou> And it usually kills.
[2:44] <BongoBill> Sex and death! A true artist!
[2:44] <JDigital> and then he can knock it with his final breath
[2:44] <maou> "This... sucks. *dead*"
[2:45] <JDigital> we'll all chip in for a headstone that reads, "ROMOSOME: 1984 - 2009    OW MY FUCKING DICK"
[2:45] <JDigital> a brass plaque below, "He left this world the way he entered - a painful, bleeding crotch"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 15, 2009, 12:07:53 AM
blah blah blah blah blah Friday's blah blah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on January 15, 2009, 06:22:03 AM
blah blah blah blah blah qualabilities blah blah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on January 15, 2009, 05:27:47 PM
Quote from: AIM
(8:20:48 PM) Aintaer: Paternal twins are born.  Brother and sister separate; sister goes on space journey, comes back and marries an older man: her brother.
(8:20:53 PM) Aintaer: TWINCEST PARADOX
(8:20:56 PM) Aintaer: the hottest paradox
(8:22:05 PM) patito: that's hardly a paradox
(8:22:12 PM) Aintaer: ...tsk
(8:22:19 PM) Aintaer: it's a reference to Einstein's thought experiment
(8:22:23 PM) Aintaer: the Twins Paradox
(8:22:30 PM) patito: unless she travels back in time to becomes her brother's mother
(8:22:37 PM) Aintaer: that's no paradox
(8:22:39 PM) Aintaer: that's just wrong
(8:22:57 PM) patito: no you see, this also means she boned her father
(8:24:36 PM) patito: though in retrospect that's also hardly a paradox
(8:25:15 PM) Aintaer: You're a horrendous person.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on January 16, 2009, 01:30:00 AM
I think that's the plot of Gunbuster.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 23, 2009, 05:40:01 PM
<lapLD> penises aren't even sexy usually
<lapLD> they're just less horrific looking than vaginas
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 27, 2009, 11:23:49 AM
A quote from my digital class:

Professor: "When use ASCII?"
Student in front of me: "When you want an answerie."

I approve of this more nerdy version of the armies joke.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on January 27, 2009, 02:32:42 PM
...his SLEEVIES!

...


 :nyoro~n:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 02, 2009, 04:14:39 AM
[14:15:04] <Brentai> > INV
[14:15:29] <ElPolloDiablo> You are carrying:
[14:15:37] <ElPolloDiablo>   a pack of condoms with holes in them
[14:15:44] <ElPolloDiablo>   some paper clips
[14:15:50] <ElPolloDiablo>   a wad of used gum
[14:15:55] <ElPolloDiablo>   a Hello Kitty vibrator
[14:15:59] <ElPolloDiablo>   108 gold pieces
[14:16:05] <Brentai>   and a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee
[14:16:28] <McFrugal> > WIELD VIBRATOR
[14:16:40] <ElPolloDiablo> You are not yet experienced enough to wield this weapon.
[14:17:11] <Brentai> There is an elf here.
[14:17:15] <Brentai> You are surrounded by 8 ogres.
[14:17:32] <Brentai> The Cheetohs are right next to you.
[14:18:07] <JDigital> You're a MALE character. You are non-proficient with VIBRATOR, and
  have a -4 nonproficiency penalty to all Use Vibrator checks.
[14:18:25] *** ElPolloDiablo is now known as memo
[14:18:44] <Brentai> Great, now I have the need to make a text adventure where you play a
  normal person playing Dungeons and Dragons.

[14:19:27] <memo> I eat the ogres, and crush the cheetohs with my enchanted flail.
[14:19:52] <Brentai> You put the tiny metal ogre figurines in your mouth and swallow them.
[14:19:53] <Brentai> ...
[14:20:02] <Brentai> You have choked and died.
[14:20:09] <memo> YOU ARE DEAD.
[14:20:20] <memo> Of a possible 732 points, you acquired a score of 3.
[14:20:43] <memo> This gives you the rating of Shit-Fucking Cockmongering Dickstick.
[14:20:46] <Brentai> With your ghost vision, you can see your roleplaying buddies carrying
  you to the hospital.  Most of them wheeze and collapse within three steps.
[14:20:48] <Brentai> They die as well.
[14:21:05] <Brentai> Your score is: 18.  You are a BIG FAG.
[14:21:14] <Brentai> Do you want to load a saved game?
[14:21:21] <memo> NO

Bold added by me, because I still want to play that game.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on February 02, 2009, 04:18:39 AM
You have just earned the acheivement 'Fire and Forget'!  :goodnews:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on February 05, 2009, 04:03:12 PM
Me:  I just ate a minibagel with bad past-due creamcheese on it D:
Kazz:  If you don't remember buyin something, don't eat it.
Me:  Well I remember buying it with you.  Weeks and weeks ago :o
Kazz:  ...
Me:  :3c
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 09, 2009, 09:22:12 AM
<Dogstar> So, after giving the modding community half a decade to brew and ferment and then picking out .. hmm. 7.5 gigs of mods, I've decided that Oblivion was a shitty game, but Oblivion + mods is addictive as shit.
<MetalSlime> Oblivion isn't five years old :|
<@Cait> Decades are 6 years long where Dogstar is from.
<JDigital> dog years
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on February 16, 2009, 07:58:27 PM
<Roger> Hmm, 60 pokemon on the ranch and it upgrades
<Roger> I must catch more bidoofs
Squizzle has kicked Roger from #finalfight (You make me sad.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on February 20, 2009, 08:17:34 AM
Quote from: Valentine's Day
<Meikai>   guys I need more fake love facts
<Meowgret_Thatcher>   Meikai: Love is facilitated by oxycontin oxytocin.
<zaratustra>   Money can buy you love.  In fact, certain branches of Sainsbury's have special love counters, where you can buy various brands of freshly baked love every morning.
<Aintaer>   Some of them are only half-baked.
<zaratustra>   The fashion in Wales for giving your young sweetheart a love spoon replaced the highly dangerous kissing axe.
<zaratustra>   Germans are incapable of feeling love. If a situation would cause a German to feel love, he instead builds a car.
<zaratustra>   As a brilliant marketing ploy, the Hallmark Greeting Card Company invented women in 1927.  It later went on to invent weddings, birthdays and Valentine's Day.
<Aintaer>   Love can grow in most environments, being highly resistant to climate variation.  However, love cannot bloom on the battlefield.
<zaratustra>   Love has an exothermic reaction with oxygen, which becomes explosive if love is placed in a vessel of water.
<Aintaer>   Love, being an organic compound, has the same reaction to nitrate replacement as cellulose.  Hence when love is immersed in nitric acid, it will produce the extremely volatile substance Gunlove.
<zaratustra>   The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. The opposite of hate is bunnies.
<Aintaer>   Warning: Love is known to cause the highly toxic irritant Children.  Do not use Love when operating heavy machinery.
<Meowgret_Thatcher>   Love was founded in 1874 through the merger of several smaller emotional duchies.
<Aintaer>   Though you cannot survive without love, survival with love is made difficult on account of the velociraptors.
<Aintaer>   The earliest documented evidence for love's invention was discovered in the 3700 year old tomb of a Chinese magistrate.
<Meowgret_Thatcher>   Love is not native to the Americas, but was brought by Spanish and Dutch explorers in the age of sail.
<Aintaer>   The British imported 3.1 million tons of love from Southwest India, where it flourishes in abundance.
<drethelin>   that is why the kama sutra is from india
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on February 20, 2009, 10:32:27 AM
<zaratustra>   Germans are incapable of feeling love. If a situation would cause a German to feel love, he instead builds a car.

There go my chances with Chloe Vevrier.  :;_;:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on February 24, 2009, 09:01:33 PM
<lady_duke> fuck me, i want something to eat
<lady_duke> something savoury
<lady_duke> just a little.
* maou unzip.
<lady_duke> hahahaha
<lady_duke> maou :3
<maou> fuck me, you want just a little savoury something
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on February 24, 2009, 11:05:25 PM
<@Romosome> !score
<dragongame> Romosome, you have achieved nothing of note!
<@Romosome> oh dragongame, you know me so well
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on February 25, 2009, 01:52:17 AM
<Sharkey> If memes bred and escaped from every goddamn IRC channel like they do here we'd be even more deluged by them. I mean, we would be communicating solely through memes at this point.
<Romosome> o rly?

<Brentai> Short Biography: born in Gerudo Valley to two lesbian moms, Ganondorf has quite an interesting past...
<Zaratustra>  born in Gerudo Valley to two lesbian moms, acquired one third of the power of god and became a giant pig.
<Brentai> In retrospect, the power of the Gods isn't all that great after all.
<Zaratustra> It's mostly so you can enter dungeon 9
<Brentai> Getting the other two thirds would probably have made him a giant chicken, given how terrifying Hyrulian chickens are.
<Kayumi> Cucco.
<Zaratustra> the chickens are the secret masters of the world
<Kayumi> Cuccos.
<Brentai> Short for Cuccoyourassifyoufuckwithem.
<Zaratustra> THE FILTHY CHICKEN, IT PLANS
<Kayumi> They're not chickens.
<Kayumi> they're cuccos.
<Xerox> He was the only man in a village of women. What the hell else did he want?
<Brentai> ...
* Brentai hits Kayumi with his sword.
<Kayumi> Xerox: a pleasure garden.
* Brentai hits Kayumi with his sword.
<Zaratustra> Cuccos are a subset of chicken.
* Brentai hits Kayumi with his sword.
* Kayumi crows and swarms Brentai in deadly clucking hordes.
* Brentai picks Kayumi up and throws him at a picture of Mario.
* Brentai picks Kayumi up and throws him down a well.
* Brentai throws bombs at Kayumi.
<Zaratustra> correction
<Brentai> DIE.  FUCK YOU DIE.
<Zaratustra> he was the only man in a village of -lesbians-
<Kayumi> They somehow evolved into pigs.  And no, the Gerudo are all into guys
<Kayumi> Except maybe twinrova, but the guys aren't into them.
<Zaratustra> they steal men or something right?
<Kayumi> Yeah
<Brentai> He was the King of Half-Naked Warrior Lesbians.  And he's ANGRY.
<Kayumi> He wanted rain.
<Kayumi> He explains in Wind Waker.
<Brentai> Given his obsession with Link, there's really only one conclusion to be made.
<Zaratustra> he just wanted to play his piano and have zelda in a crystal :(
<Kayumi> It was an organ.
<Zaratustra> I didn't want to say 'play his organ'
<Brentai> HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN.  IT MAKES YOU TURN INTO A GIANT PIG.
<Cannon> Giving new reason to wanting to "pork" someone.
<Brentai> ...ow.

(22:58:28) Niku: http://pics.livejournal.com/jacksonpublick/pic/0000bxrz/
(23:00:27) terra: that's more of Brock's penis than I ever expected or wanted to see
(23:00:52) Cannon: ...I didn't even notice until you brought that up. I feel as though I have shamed this channel.
(23:02:16) Niku: pffft
(23:02:22) Niku: everyone's life needs more brock penis
(23:02:32) Cannon: It's just his balls, mostly.
(23:03:52) Cannon: Okay, ball.
(23:04:33) Niku: and yet
(23:04:37) Niku: he has more manly in that one ball
(23:04:42) Niku: than 37 of our balls combined
(23:04:50) Niku: and we should know
(23:04:54) Niku: with how often we "combine" them
(23:05:04) terra: Wait wait no
(23:05:10) terra: there's definite outline of dick
(23:05:17) terra: I guess you guys don't stare at these things like I do
(23:05:27) Niku: LET'S MAGNIFY IT
(23:05:51) Cannon: Enhance.
(23:06:05) Detonator: the full size is plenty big
(23:06:06) Cannon: ...No, I don't see shaft.
(23:06:12) Cannon: Enhance.
(23:06:15) Detonator: THERE IS PENIS
(23:06:20) ***myew blinks
(23:05:20) McDohl: IN 1999
(23:05:21) Niku: http://niku.pyoko.org/cocksamson.jpg
(23:05:23) McDohl: ALL IS PENIS
(23:05:53) Detonator: just click on "full size" you tards
(23:06:01) Cannon: No, I'm not seeing it.
(23:06:17) Cannon: Unless he's flaccid and that's the sorriest outline of head I've yet seen.
(23:06:34) Niku: oh hey there's a full size
(23:06:34) Niku: :D
(23:08:03) terra: yes I was looking at the FULL SIZE and it was
(23:08:06) terra: dddddick
(23:08:46) Niku: IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-ICK
(23:10:10) Cannon: No, that's just ball. I've been looking at the full size for a while now.
(23:10:42) Esperath: Niku, what a great ploy.
(23:10:48) terra: no, there's a fucking dick, cannon
(23:10:50) terra: I can TELL
(23:10:52) Esperath: You have people staring at dick for how long now?
(23:10:52) terra: I KNOW PENIS
(23:11:08) Esperath: 13 minutes and counting.
(23:11:31) terra: I stopped looking
(23:11:36) Detonator: how is that NOT penis?
(23:11:42) terra: Because I was certain that it was penis.
(23:12:33) Cannon: ...Okay, I'm not seeing another testicle. Unless Brock lost one (and I can see that happening), I'll concur that we have johnson.

<Romosome> hmmm
<Romosome> if I read 20 pages of the FATAL sourcebook a night
<Romosome> I could be done in a little over a month
<Vance> And what would you have to show for it?
<Vance> A goddamn twitch, Romo
<Romosome> a gleam in my eye and the power of 900 pages of forbidden knowledge
<Romosome> think about it
<Romosome> you could derail any conversation with 100 pages memorized.
<Romosome> 200 would let you stop muggers dead in their tracks.
<Romosome> by 500 I could stop bullets.

<Moebius> Everybody should distrust Wikipedia
<Moebius> it's like a library where you have 2nd graders dragging the reference books out and scribbling in them, except you can't see where the scribbles are on Wikipedia
<Moebius> also eating the pages

<Sede> I was cleaning out under my waterbed mattress a few years ago and found a razorblade. I was cleaning it out again today and found a 5" long nail. I think I have a suicidal waterbed :(
<Sede> I also found Auto Insurance from Monopoly, and a broken-off mechanical monkey hand. I don't know how this stuff winds up under my waterbed but it is awesome.
<Kazz> there isn't Auto Insurance in Monopoly
<Kazz> there is in Life though
<Sede> The things that wind up under my matress is like the inventory of an old LucasArts adventure game.
<Sede> I always stashed Auto Insurance somewhere near when playing Monopoly in case I got the car piece. Then I didn't have to pay taxes.
<Sede> I usually got to be the car, because otherwise I'd pick the Scottish-Terrier-riding-a-wheelbarrow-wearing-a-tophat piece, which didn't leave anyone else many options.
<Sede> My dad probably shouldn't have given me a soldering iron for my birthday.

<Ex|ZZZ> DEAR GOD
* Ex|ZZZ is now known as Exdeath
<Exdeath> JUST BECAUSE IT'S APPROACHING SUMMER DOES NOT MEAN YOU SET THE THERMOSTAT TO 'MEAT LOCKER'
<Exdeath> !@$!@$!@$!$$I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS
<Sede> I can.


[1:36] <Wiimosome> Odd-sounding name aside, I wonder if it's
  really a good idea to name it that
[1:36] <Wiimosome> It sounds TOO trendy.
[1:36] <Wiimosome> It will confuse old people.
[1:37] <Wiimosome> Wasn't the point of the system to try and
  draw in new age groups by making the game interface less
  scary?
[1:37] <Moebius> I think it's too vague
[1:37] <Moebius> too intangible
[1:37] <Kazz> What can you possibly name a console that would
  appeal it to old people?
[1:37] <Wiimosome> Kazz: ummmmmm
[1:38] <Wiimosome> something spelled in a non-confusing manner,
  mostly.
[1:38] <Wiimosome> Something that is HARD to mispronounce.
[1:38] <Wiimosome> That's why Sony is a great brand name
[1:38] <Wiimosome> you can't fuck it up
[1:38] <Kazz> Maybe the Nintendo Legacy?
[1:39] <Wiimosome> Kazz: Still too bold and scary
[1:39] <Wii-Ham> Legacy isn't exactly something that's going to
  draw in a fresh crowd
[1:39] <Wiimosome> well, Wii is a start
[1:39] <Wiimosome> it's like
[1:39] <Kazz> I'm just trying to think of something I would
  name a four-door sedan that beeps when you leave the blinker
  on too long.
[1:39] <Wiimosome> It's soft and neutral and fun
[1:39] <Kazz> The Nintendo Buick Regal
[1:39] <Wiimosome> But the odd spelling is the too-trendy part
[1:39] <WiiCricket> The Nintendo Respectful Grandchildren
[1:39] <Kazz> The Nintendo Cutlass Supreme
[1:39] <Wiimosome> It shouldn't be something you have to mouth
  for a bit while reading it, pausing out of fear
[1:39] <DNi> Consoles only last five years anyway, Romo
[1:40] <Kazz> The Nintendo Rosie O'Donnell
[1:40] <WiiCricket> So do old people.
[1:40] <Esperath> The Nintendo Massive Wang
[1:40] <Wii-Ham> The Nintendo Heavenly Fortune
[1:41] <Kazz> The Nintendo Overcooked Steak
[1:41] <AFK> romo how do you mispronounce wii anyway
[1:41] <Wiimosome> you don't mispronounce it
[1:41] <Wiimosome> as much as you see it and stop in your tracks
[1:41] <Wiimosome> and stare at it for a second sort of
  open-mouthed and confused
[1:41] <Wiimosome> and then when you say it it's with a
  question mark
[1:41] <Wiimosome> "W....Wii?"
[1:41] <Kazz> The Nintendo Depends
[1:42] <Wii-Ham> I SAW A SQUIRREL RUN ACROSS THE ROAD AND IT
  DIDN'T GET RUN OVER AND IT WAS LIKE WIIIIIIIIII
[1:42] <Kazz> The Nintendo One Glass Of Wine Won't Kill Me,
  Damn It
[1:42] <Wiimosome> I WENT UP TO THIS THUG GANGSTER AND HE WAS
  ALL LIKE YO MOTHAFUCKA WIIIIIIII
[1:42] <Esperath> TODD JUST GOT THROWN IN JAIL AND SHANKED SOME
  DOOD AND I WAS ALL WII!
[1:42] <Wiimosome> Nintendo CSPAN
[1:42] <Esperath> The Nintendo Meat Shank.
[1:42] <Wiimosome> Nintendo Sony.  There we go.
[1:43] <Wiimosome> Name the console the "Sony"
[1:43] <Wiimosome> that's a great name
[1:43] <Kazz> Nintendo Oatmeal
[1:43] <AFK> Nintendo Metamucil!
[1:43] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo Breakfast System
[1:43] <Kuradobewii> ARE YOU GUYS DONE YET
[1:43] <Esperath> Now you're playing with power.  Digestive
  power!
[1:43] <DNi> Nintendo Trucktankbot
[1:43] <Wiimosome> maybe once the old farts go through whatever
  Brain Training is called over here they won't be as easily
  scared anymore
[1:43] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo Imperial Power
[1:43] <Esperath> It's called Brain Age, I think
[1:43] <Kazz> Nintendo Lots Of People At Your Funeral
[1:44] <Wiimosome> why the fuck did they call it that
[1:44] <Mowiius> Nintendo Cheaper than a PS3
[1:44] <Kazz> Nintendo I'm Old Enough To Have Ice Cream When I
  Fucking Want Some
[1:44] <Wiimosome> how is Brain Age a better english title than
  Brain Training
[1:44] <Wiimosome> someone tell me that
[1:44] <WiiCricket> Brainage
[1:44] <Fwiied_Octopus> Nintendo lots of people at your funeral
  is winning so far.
[1:45] <Kazz> Nintendo Bypass
[1:45] <Wii-Ham> I guess "Brain Training" sounds more like work
[1:45] <Esperath> Quadruple Nintendo Bypass
[1:45] <AFK> Brain Training sounds too workful, yeah.
[1:45] <Kazz> Nintendo Limbaugh
[1:45] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo Does What Sonyn't
[1:45] <Kuradobewii> NINTENDO LIMBAUGH?
[1:45] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo Blast Processor
[1:45] <Kuradobewii> AUGH
[1:45] <Kuradobewii> NO
[1:45] <Kuradobewii> NOOOOOOOOOOOO
[1:46] <Mowiius> Nintendo Pricepoint
[1:46] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo I Wish I Was In Carrickfergus
[1:46] <DNi> Nintendo Sonic Boom Tiger
[1:46] <Wiimosome> oh god
[1:46] <Wiimosome> I got it
[1:46] <Wii-Ham> Nintendo Uppercut
[1:46] <Wiimosome> I have the perfect name
[1:46] <Wiimosome> we'll call it
[1:46] <Mowiius> Nintendo Porch
[1:46] <Wiimosome> this is so great, it appeals to everyone
[1:46] <Wiimosome> are you ready for this?
[1:46] <Kuradobewii> Yes, Wiimo
[1:47] <Wiimosome> We'll call it the Nintendo Family Computer
[1:47] <Kayumi> Nintendo Family Wii
[1:47] <WiiCricket> That's brilliant.
[1:47] <Kayumi> one wii for the whole family to play with
[1:47] <WiiCricket> Nintendo Family Computer
[1:47] <Kazz> Nintendo New Golf Clubs
[1:47] <Mowiius> you could even give it a cute nickname
[1:47] <Wiimosome> yeah
[1:47] <Mowiius> like Fawiicom or something
[1:47] <Wiimosome> like...Famicom!
[1:47] <WiiCricket> BRILLIANT!
[1:47] <Wiimosome> NOTHING IS NEW
[1:47] <DNi> The Nintendo Super Nintendo Advance
[1:47] <Kayumi> "i GOT A WII FOR CHRISTMAS!"
[1:47] <Kuradobewii> FAWIICOM? :D
[1:48] <tewiia> STOP
[1:48] <DNi> The Nintendo Super Nintendo 64 Advance
[1:48] * tewiia is now known as terra
[1:48] <terra> STOP ALREADY
[1:48] <terra> GOD DAMN
[1:48] <WiiCricket> HAMMWIIR TIME
[1:48] <terra> YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE ANYTHING BORING
[1:48] * terra sets mode: +m
[1:48] <Wiimosome> Hey, I was being entertaining.
[1:48] <Wiimosome> But that's why I have voice, I guess.
[1:49] * terra sets mode: -m
[1:49] <Kazz> Nintendo Kevorkian
[1:49] <Kayumi> wii pissed off terra.
[1:49] <Wii-Ham> KAZZ NOO
[1:49] <WiiCricket> hahahaha
[1:49] * terra sets mode: +b *!*orphen@*.sympatico.ca
[1:49] * Kayumi was kicked by terra (terra)

<Whore> Ultimecia sucked.  I would have payed $30 extra dollars to have Rinoa as the villain instead.  I mean, that would have been the coolest plot twist EVER.
<Xerox> Seriously!
<Xerox> In fact, what game has EVER made you fight your beloved for the final villain?
<Xerox> Some games make you fight your childhood best friend, but have any done the girlfriend thing?
<Guildenstern> I fought and killed the right hand at the end of Smash Brothers. That's kinda the same idea.

<Sharkey> And you know, to anybody who bitched about how batshit Metal Gear Solid 2 was, Kojima has always been like this.
<Sharkey> Hell, I couldn't play through Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake on MSX. As soon as I had my first boss encounter with BLACK COLOR, A SECRED NINJA FROM NASA, I couldn't stop laughing long enough to hurt him.

<Niku> one winged angel
<Niku> IN TEXT FORM
<Niku> DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
<Niku> SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
<Niku> DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
<Niku> DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
<Niku> SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
<Niku> DEEDLEEDEEDLEDEEDLEDEEDLEEDEEDLEDEEDLEDEEDLEEDEEDLEDEEDLEDEEDLEEDEEDLEDEEDLEDEEDLEEDEEDLEDEEDLE
<Niku> BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
<Niku> LATIN LATIN LATIN
<Niku> SEPHIROTH
<Niku> the end

Lyrai              THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE IT A TRIGGER.
Esperath   :OOO
Lyrai              I TURNED ALL REMOTES OFF
Stushcinta   Romo ruins everything. D:
Lyrai              THEY WILL REMAIN OFF UNTIL ROMOSME AND ESPERATH APOLOGIZE.
Romosome     D: MY HOMOZONE

<myew> How do i spoil spider man? The goblin dies? Spider man is a man?

<Niku> i think they should remake the running man like they did with charlie and the chocolate factory, being more true to the book
<Niku> because an american guy crashing an airplane into a skyscraper would fly awesomely in this day and age
<Niku> what do you think guys
<+Romosome> you're fired
<Niku> no YOU'RE FIRED
* Niku shoots Romosome out of a cannon into the sun
<+Romosome> who started that anyways
<Niku> futurama.
<Kayin> They should remake the Mario Movie like they did Charlie and the Chocolate Factory --- by having Tim Burton do it............................ Or something.
* @terra crashes an airplane into Kayin
<Niku> "What if I don't want to be a delivery boy?"  "Then you'll be fired."  "That's not so bad."  "Out of a cannon.  Into the sun."
<Niku> dude no way
<Roger> Tim Burton's Mario Bros?
<Niku> the mario movie is fucking cinematic genius
<Kayin> Yes.
<Roger> American McGee's Zelda?
<Niku> you can't change a thing
<Roger> Todd McFarlene's Kirby?
<Niku> Rob Liefeld's Kirby.
<Kayin> Won't have to worry about proportions, atleast.
<Niku> You say that now.
<Lyrai> John Woo's TEtris.
<Niku> Takashi Miike's Ice Climbers.
<Roger> Kevin Smith's Star Fox.
<Niku> I wouldn't think anthropomorphic animals would have much pop culture to talk about.
<Niku> But then again, Dreamworks.
<Kayin> The Wakowski Brothers' Pokemon.
<@Zaratustra> Quentin Tarantino's Sonic

<Roger> They still make the Fox Kid's Club Newsletter? :O
<Lyrai> Oh god
<Lyrai> I usewd to get that
<Lyrai> when they played Bobby’s World on there
<Sede> They did until I moved recently.. I used to get no less than twenty copies each month thanks to my dipshit friends.
* Lyrai rides a tricycle over Sede
* Lyrai suddenly has a fucking huge football head.
<Lyrai> Bobby was the original football head before Arnold.
<NeonId> I was on a commercial for Fox Kids when I was younger.  I raised 500 bucks for that Multiple Sclerosis reading marathon thing, and I sat there and the host of Fox Kids in Houston pretended to read a book to us.
<Sede> Which was a burden until they ran a Sam & Max centerfold way back when, and now I have a dozen Sam & Max posters.
<Lyrai> Sell them on eBay
<Roger> Sede: wanna send me one? :3
<Sede> I used them as wallpaper inside my closet.
<Sede> That is my happy place now
<Lyrai> You didn’t ejaculate on them or anything
<Lyrai> did you>?
<Sede> Only like three
<Roger> Can you really blame him?  They're Sam and Max.
<Sede> I figured they were expendable back then. I was a fool!
<Lyrai> Masturbating off ontoa p icture of an anthromorphic rabbit and a dog in a trenchcoat is creepy no matter how you put it
<NeonId> I second that.

[082407] <Sqbedzle> Bagpipes were invented by clever distillery owners who wanted a method to drive people to drink more frequently and heavily.
[082513] <Sede> And when they drained their spitvalves out poured the Irish.

<Friday> guys
<MarsDragon> girls
<Friday> do me a big big big favor
<Friday> when Romo gets back
<Friday> tell him he is a dumb
<MarsDragon> why
<Malikial> OK.
<MadMAxJr> Whee.
<Friday> because, he must be reminded of it.
<Malikial> I can't tonight.
<Friday> or else he may forget
<Malikial> I'll do it first time I see him.
<myew> Don't do it the game first?
<Malikial> I usually do it anyhow.
<MarsDragon> Should we say "from Friday" or what
<Friday> yes
<Malikial> Lyrai
<Malikial> Set Romo's trigger to say, <Friday> Romo's dumb.
<Xerox> No no. He is a dumb.
* patito is now known as romosome
<romosome> !intro <Friday> Romo's dumb.
<@Zaratustra> nononon
* romosome is now known as aintaer
<@Zaratustra> A dumb
<Malikial> Set Romo's trigger to say, <Friday> Romo is a dumb.
* Zaratustra is now known as Romosome
<aintaer> !intro lol aintaer
<@Romosome> !intro <Friday> Romo is a dumb.
* aintaer is now known as patito
* Romosome is now known as Zaratustra
<@Cait> You might need to delintro first.
<patito> do you?
<@Zaratustra> -myew- INTRO SET
<@Zaratustra> DOYOOOOOOOOOOOO
<myew> Actually, you could set an intro for a workout: not being able to set up.
* patito is now known as romosome
* romosome was kicked by Cait (Cait)
* romosome has joined #finalfight
<myew>  <Friday> Romo's dumb.
* romosome is now known as patito
<@Zaratustra> aff
* Zaratustra is now known as Romosome
<Friday> you guys can't do anything right
<@Romosome> !delintro
<MarsDragon> Try it with a capital R
<patito> yeah, you have to delintro
* Romosome_ (xxx@-) has joined #finalfight
<@Romosome> !intro <Friday> Romo's a dumb.
<@Romosome> oh hey romo
<@Cait> :D
* DNi has joined #finalfight
* Romosome is now known as Zaratustra
<Romosome_> what on earth is going on here
<Friday> nothing
<Friday> look over there
<+Kazzgone> i can imagine this being confusing
<Friday> :D
* Kazzgone is now known as Kazz
<+Kazz> walking into a room and seeing yourself sabotaging your own reputation
<Moebius> IT BEGINS
<Romosome_> does that even work?
<Romosome_> lemme see
* Romosome_ is now known as Romosome
* Romosome  has left #finalfight
* Romosome has joined #finalfight
<myew>  <Friday> Romo's a dumb.
<@Zaratustra> :D
<Malikial> YES!
<Romosome> hahahahahaha
<Romosome> you assholes

<Mr_Saturn> According to the HBO mini-series From the Earth to the Moon, Michael Collins made the following suggestion as to what Armstrong should say upon stepping onto the lunar surface: "If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic."


<Kattlatena> hay stush
<Stush> Ya?
<Kattlatena> lets dubble team freyed
<Stush> Okay.
<Freyed> D:
<Stush> *takes the butt*
<Freyed> ...

<Lyrai> GOD FUCKING SHITCOCK OF A FUCKING CUNTFAG
<Lyrai> FUCKING FALCO FUCKING DIED 2 HITS FROM KILLING THE FUCKING FINAL BOSS.
<Mr_Saturn> what
* Lyrai <- Star Fox Assault
<Mr_Saturn> I've always thought Falco was more useless/annoying than slippy
<Mr_Saturn> Slippy at least gives you Boss status
<@Squizzle> He turns you into Springsteen?
<Mr_Saturn> ...
* Lyrai ba-da-da-psh

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on February 25, 2009, 04:22:43 PM
"How do they find time to play the game, with all the time they spend bitching?" -My mom upon seeing the official WoW forums.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on February 25, 2009, 06:44:45 PM
I've always been mystified about that. The guy who runs the Stardestroyer BBS is a full-time engineer and father and still has time to run a numbers-masturbation site.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on February 25, 2009, 07:44:36 PM
Your mom is my hero, Ted.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on February 26, 2009, 01:49:40 AM
Romo, can you get your boss(es) to like, immortalize that somewhere in the game itself? Because if anything deserves it, that quote does.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 27, 2009, 12:19:08 AM
<Roger> Friday: http://roger.pyoko.org/smut/dulce-03-07.jpg
<@Friday> Roger
<@Friday> what makes you think I want to see such things
<@Friday> more importantly
<@Friday> what makes me click your links
<@Friday> I have some sort of disorder
<@Friday> I have to click links
<JDigital> http://www.goatse.cx
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 27, 2009, 12:19:53 AM
Must... not... replace... text...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 09, 2009, 04:23:09 AM
Long, but totally worth it

<dragongame> Alas, Stush, you were slain today. Try again tomorrow.
<Stush> >:(
* CUI >:D
<@Romosome> stand back, kids
<@Romosome> I'll show you how a real man plays
* @Romosome rolls up his sleeves
<@Romosome> !play
<dragongame> Welcome back, Orc Slayer Romosome, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 2, Dex: 3, Con: 5, Int: 3, Wis: 5, Cha: 4.
<dragongame> Fight an Orc!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 5. You defeat the Orc!
<dragongame> Fight an Ogre!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 5. You defeat the Ogre!
<dragongame> Fight a Troll!
<Stush> Ohohoohoh
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 2. You defeat the Troll!
<dragongame> Fight a Giant!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 2. You defeat the Giant!
<dragongame> Fight a Vampire!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 2. You defeat the Vampire!
<dragongame> Fight a Minotaur!
<@Friday> cutting it close, Romo
<myew> Actually that appears on his face until he got me into a vampire.
<@Romosome> I've totally got this
<@Romosome> !play
<dragongame> Welcome back, Vampire Slayer Romosome, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 2, Dex: 2, Con: 4, Int: 3, Wis: 3, Cha: 5.
<dragongame> Fight an Orc!
<@Romosome> FUCK.
<Stush> Noooo!
<Stush> ROMO
<Sqjavzle> Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
<CUI> hahaha
<Stush> You dumbkopf!
<Sqjavzle> Oh, Romo!
<Stush> How did you do that/
<@Friday> HAHAHAHAHAHA
<@Romosome> I would be embarassed if I wasn't laughing so hard.
<@Friday> SO QUOTED
<Stush> I mean, i did it my first time!
<Stush> But jeez
* Stush is now known as Stushcinta
<Stushcinta> !play
<@Romosome> god dammit
<dragongame> Welcome back, Ogre Stabber Stushcinta, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 6, Dex: 2, Con: 2, Int: 5, Wis: 6, Cha: 1... A dragon eats you.
<Sqjavzle> Play it out, Roo.
<Stushcinta> Dahh
* Stushcinta is now known as Stush
<@Romosome> yeah yeah
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 6. You defeat the Orc!
<dragongame> Fight an Ogre!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 4. You defeat the Ogre!
<dragongame> Fight a Troll!
<Stush> :D
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 3. You defeat the Troll!
<dragongame> Fight a Giant!
* @Romosome has left #finalfight
<myew> X3 is a troll.
<Stush> D:
<Sqjavzle> What on Earth?
<@Friday> wtf
<Stush> Romosomeeeee
* Romosome has joined #finalfight
<Sqjavzle> Romo is double-dumb.
<Stush> Come baaack!
<Stush> :D
<Romosome> what in the fuck
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Romosome
<Stush> He's back!
<CUI> Good job Romo
<@Romosome> !fight
<Stush> Quick!
<Stush> Beat it!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 4. You defeat the Giant!
<dragongame> Fight a Vampire!
<@Romosome> !fight
<Stush> Gooo
<dragongame> You roll a 5. You defeat the Vampire!
<dragongame> Fight a Minotaur!
<@Romosome> SEE
<@Romosome> I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THEY KNEW I MEANT BUSINESS
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 5. You defeat the Minotaur!
<dragongame> Fight an Ettin!
<Stush> Gogogogo!
<dragongame> You roll a 3. You defeat the Ettin!
<dragongame> Fight a Golem!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 2. You defeat the Golem!
<dragongame> Fight a Lich!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 6. You defeat the Lich!
<dragongame> Fight the DRAGON!
<Stush> Go romo!
<@Romosome> HERE I COME, YOU MAGNIFICENT GREEN BASTARD
<@Friday> :D
<Stush> For great justice!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 5. You have defeated the dragon!
<Meikai> Some day this will happen for me :<
<dragongame> A voice booms out: "Who dares challenge the god Kayumi?" Fight Kayumi!
<@Romosome> FUCK YOU, KAYUMI
<@Cait> (1)
<Sqjavzle> If Romo achieves godhood, his divine profile is going to be The Dumb.
<Stush> Yeah, kick Kayumi's ass!
<@Romosome> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 2. You have wrestled with the gods and won!
<dragongame> You are elevated to deific status! All bow to the god Romosome!
<Stush> :D
<CUI> D:<<<<<<<<
<@Romosome> YES
<+DarkSchneider> Bullshit
<@Friday> ROMOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Stush> Go Romoooo
<Dogstar> AHAHAHAH.
<+DarkSchneider> Bullshit it was RIGGED
<Stush> Kayumi is wrestled.
<+Arcueid> ROMO HOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE
<@Friday> QUOTING THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN CHANNEL
<@Romosome> Rigged with my DICK
<Stush> Wrestled to hell
<@Cait> Man, Romo almost did it twice
<+Arcueid> I MUST BEAT ROMO
<+Arcueid> !play
<dragongame> Welcome back, Ogre Stabber Arcueid, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 1... A dragon eats you.
<Dogstar> Congratulations Romo.
<+Arcueid> .
<@Romosome> :D
<@Friday> HAHAHAHA
<+Arcueid> NOT TODAY
<Stush> :D
<Dogstar> ahahah.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on March 14, 2009, 11:53:38 AM
[22:35] <Fuse> Soul Calibur, Starcraft, Star Control, Supreme Commander
[22:35] <BongoBill> There are too many games that can be abbreviated SC.
[22:35] <Shoger> Don't forget Star Cox 64
[22:35] <BongoBill> Sonic the Chedgehog, Sinal Cantasy
[22:35] <Fuse> Big Nyoro~n
[22:35] <BongoBill> Sragon Cuest
[22:35] <McFrugal> Shantasy Car.
[22:36] <BongoBill> System Chock
[22:36] <R^2> My first car was an '89 Shantasy.
[22:36] <BongoBill> Stomb Craider
[22:36] <McFrugal> Super Cetroid.
[22:37] <McFrugal> Setroid Crime.
[22:37] <Rosencrantz> setroid crime is up... white house is no exception.
[22:37] <Kisai-> Setroid crimes are the worst kinds of crimes.
[22:37] <McFrugal> Sommand and Conquer.
[22:37] <R^2> Segend of Celda
[22:37] <R^2> (Wind Waker lol)
[22:37] <Shoger> :D
[22:37] <Kisai-> ...
[22:37] <Big_N> ...
[22:37] <melonhead> lmao
[22:38] <BongoBill> Secret of Cana
[22:38] <BongoBill> Slegend of Cana, also
[22:38] <McFrugal> Segend of Cragoon
[22:38] <R^2> Sim City
[22:38] <R^2> owait
[22:38] <R^2> guys am i do rite
[22:38] <McFrugal> Sanzer Cragoon
[22:38] <PhoenixUltima> Srono Crigger
[22:39] <R^2> Super C
[22:39] <McFrugal> Sin City... wait
[22:39] <BongoBill> Swild Carms
[22:39] <Rosencrantz> SarthCound
[22:39] <BongoBill> Sionic Commando
[22:39] <Fredward> Setchack.
[22:39] <McFrugal> Sorf Cortress.
[22:39] <BongoBill> Splinter... nevermind
[22:39] <Kisai-> Super Cario
[22:39] <Kisai-> Hah.
[22:39] <PhoenixUltima> Sed Caction
[22:39] <BongoBill> Shadow Chearts
[22:40] <Kisai-> Suild Cars
[22:40] <McFrugal> Sagrant Cory.
[22:40] <BongoBill> Shalf-Clife
[22:40] <R^2> Save Cory
[22:40] <Kisai-> Salf Cife
[22:40] <Rosencrantz> SioChock
[22:40] <Kuddy> Souble Cragon?
[22:40] <BongoBill> Sattlecoads
[22:40] <R^2> Sinal Cight.
[22:40] <McFrugal> Sorld of Carcraft.
[22:40] <McFrugal> Oops
[22:40] <Fredward> Sity of Cheros.
[22:41] <McFrugal> the o!
[22:41] <Kisai-> Shantasy Ctar.
[22:41] <BongoBill> Shtono Crigger
[22:41] <Zaratustra> super cetroid?
[22:41] <Fredward> Sity of Churros?
[22:41] <BongoBill> Shrono, rather
[22:41] <R^2> Sity of Cheerios?
[22:41] <PhoenixUltima> Sod of Car
[22:41] <melonhead> get out
[22:41] <Shoger> Sid Cicarus
[22:41] <Kisai-> Souner Ctrike
[22:41] <BongoBill> Sega Can
[22:41] <Kisai-> *Sounter
[22:41] <Kuddy> Siscaea
[22:41] <Fuse> Sitar Cero
[22:41] <BongoBill> Sastlecania
[22:42] <Kisai-> Sonic Ceroes
[22:42] <Kuddy> Sard's Cale
[22:42] <BongoBill> Sexcitecike
[22:42] <melonhead> sexy
[22:42] <McFrugal> Cario Care.
[22:42] <R^2> Sonkey Cong
[22:42] <McFrugal> oops
[22:42] <McFrugal> I FAIL
[22:43] <Kisai-> Sanimal Crossing
[22:43] <BongoBill> Sadvance Cars
[22:43] <Rosencrantz> Satchet and Clank
[22:43] <Fuse> Sam & Cax
[22:43] <BongoBill> Satamari Camacy
[22:43] <Kisai-> Sario Cart
[22:43] <Kuddy> Sales of Cantasia?
[22:43] <McFrugal> Sonkey Cland.
[22:43] <Shoger> Sash Candicoot
[22:44] <R^2> Samurai Chowdown
[22:44] <Fuse> Sall of Cuty
[22:44] <Fuse> R2 wins
[22:44] <McFrugal> I think R2 won.
[22:44] <BongoBill> Sarvest Coon
[22:44] <BongoBill> R2 is the winner
[22:44] <Rosencrantz> Sonk's Cadventure
[22:45] <BongoBill> Silent Chill
[22:45] <melonhead> GAME IS OVER
[22:45] <Kuddy> SpaCinvaders
[22:45] <R^2> Spaco Invaders?
[22:45] <BongoBill> Spacecar
[22:45] <Kisai-> Skies of Carcadia
[22:45] <Rosencrantz> Sreath of Cire
[22:45] <Kisai-> Sonic Cadventure
[22:46] <McFrugal> SeverChest.
[22:46] <BongoBill> Saper Cario
[22:46] <Kisai-> Star Cocean.
[22:46] <BongoBill> Sales of C_______
[22:46] <BongoBill> Sim Candango
[22:46] <Rosencrantz> Sarmen Candiego
[22:46] <Kisai-> Sire Cemblem
[22:47] <McFrugal> Sull Chrottle.
[22:47] <BongoBill> Slost in Clue
[22:47] <BongoBill> Strauma Center
[22:47] <Rosencrantz> Shoenix Cright
[22:47] <Kuddy> Shoenix Cri-- fruit
[22:47] <BongoBill> Smario & Cluigi
[22:47] <Rosencrantz> alternately, Sace Cattorney
[22:47] <BongoBill> Shotel Cusk
[22:48] <BongoBill> Salactic Civilizations
[22:48] <melonhead> SNinten CDogs
[22:48] <R^2> System Cock
[22:48] <melonhead> hahaha
[22:48] <McFrugal> Sardian Ceros.
[22:48] <Kuddy> Phoenix Christ.
[22:48] <Kisai-> Sokecon
[22:48] <BongoBill> It'd be Sintencogs
[22:48] <melonhead> you would be
[22:48] <BongoBill> Scorched Cearth
[22:48] <McFrugal> Carth!
[22:48] <BongoBill> Scorched Carth
[22:48] <Kisai-> Setal Cear
[22:49] <Kuddy> SC Kids
[22:49] <R^2> Som Clancy's Sainbow Cix Sogue Cpear Surban Coperations
[22:49] <BongoBill> Siewtiful Coe
[22:49] <Rosencrantz> Smash Crothers?
[22:49] <Kisai-> Sirby's Creamland
[22:50] <R^2> Shaq Ku
[22:50] <BongoBill> Cu
[22:50] <BongoBill> Not Ku
[22:51] <R^2> dag
[22:51] <R^2> Shaq Qu, featuring Quina Quen
[22:51] <BongoBill> Sadden CFL
[22:51] <R^2> SBA Cam
[22:51] <Kisai-> Singdom Carts
[22:52] <Kuddy> WWF So Cercy
[22:52] <McDohl> Coul Salibur
[22:52] <McDohl> am i doin it rite
[22:52] <R^2> Sokemon Clue (sequel: Sokemon Cold)
[22:53] <PhoenixUltima> It was Pikachu in the Gym with the Candlestick!
[22:53] <BongoBill> Street Cighter
[22:53] <BongoBill> Sarvel vs Capcom
[22:53] <R^2> Sycho Coldier
[22:54] <Kuddy> Sortal Combat
[22:54] <BongoBill> Sid Cicarus
[22:55] <R^2> StarCropics
[22:55] <R^2> S-Cero
[22:56] <Kuddy> Sole Cosition
[22:56] <Kuddy> and i'm out
[22:56] <Kisai-> SaRappa the Crapper
[22:56] <R^2> They made an ill-advised sequel to that.
[22:56] <Rosencrantz> SumJammer Cammy?
[22:57] <R^2> Sac-Can
[22:57] <BongoBill> Star Cars: etc
[22:57] <McFrugal> Star Crek
[22:57] <lady_duke> how
[22:57] <Vance> ....how long has this been going on?
[22:57] <lady_duke> ..ahem
[22:57] <Arc|Dead> I'm ramming a Space Colony into the moon if this isn't saved on the quote thread.
[22:57] <R^2> Shosts n' Coblins
[22:57] <Arc|Dead> RAMMING IT
[22:57] <McFrugal> 20 minutes.
[22:58] <R^2> Subble Cobble
[22:58] <McFrugal> Sing Commander.
[22:58] <R^2> And its spin-off, Sust a Cove.
[22:59] <McFrugal> Slight Cimulator.
[22:59] <Rosencrantz> Sogue Calaxy
[22:59] <Rosencrantz> Samerica's Carmy
[22:59] <R^2> Soregon Crail
[22:59] <Rosencrantz> Samazon Crail!
[23:00] <McFrugal> Socket Clime
[23:00] <Rosencrantz> Ced Steel
[23:00] <McFrugal> Srain Cage.
[23:00] <Rosencrantz> Sii Cports
[23:00] <Rosencrantz> Sii Clay
[23:00] <R^2> See Cit?
[23:01] <BongoBill> Shadow of the C- nevermind
[23:01] <Rosencrantz> MONO... D'OH!
[23:01] <BongoBill> Seam Cortress
[23:01] <Kuddy> S*Cert
[23:01] <McFrugal> Surger Cime.
[23:01] <Rosencrantz> Sappy Cand
[23:02] <R^2> SitCall!
[23:02] <Nerdzzz> Sird Crade.
[23:02] <Nerdzzz> (you are all in it)
[23:02] <PhoenixUltima> Shadow of the Colossus.
[23:02] <R^2> Somix Cone
[23:02] <R^2> SoeJam & Cearl
[23:03] <BongoBill> Sesident Cevil
[23:03] <R^2> Ship's Challenge
[23:03] <Rosencrantz> SunchCout!!
[23:03] <Rosencrantz> Sino Crisis
[23:03] <R^2> Sig Cug
[23:03] <R^2> And its spin-off, Sister Criller.
[23:04] <McDohl> Samco x Capcom
[23:04] <McFrugal> SrillCozer
[23:04] <McFrugal> Serious Cam
[23:04] <BongoBill> Suke Cukem
[23:04] <McFrugal> Setrayal at Crondor
[23:05] <McFrugal> Sommander Ceen
[23:05] <Rosencrantz> Sing's Cuest
[23:05] <Rosencrantz> Saniac Cansion
[23:06] <Shoger> But did we mention Sega Can's japanese counterpart, Sock Can?
[23:06] <R^2> Sice Cockey
[23:06] <McFrugal> Surning Cangers
[23:06] <melonhead> what you're still doing it
[23:06] <McFrugal> SelonCead
[23:06] <R^2> Seating a Cead Horce
[23:07] <Vance> Seriously, cunts
[23:07] <McFrugal> Okay okay.
[23:07] <McFrugal> I was starting to just look at my game collection anyway.
[23:07] <PhoenixUltima> Shaun of the Cead
[23:07] <McFrugal> That's not a game.
[23:07] <Rosencrantz> Shantom Crave
[23:07] <PhoenixUltima> But it is awesome.
[23:07] <McFrugal> Noted.
[23:07] <Rosencrantz> Shadow Cadness
[23:07] <R^2> Saicatana?
[23:07] <McDohl> Sakai Cingdom
[23:07] <Rosencrantz> Sakai Cingdom
[23:07] <McDohl> I WIN
[23:07] <Rosencrantz> :D
[23:07] <McDohl> :3
[23:08] <Rosencrantz> Sittle Cemo
[23:08] <Rosencrantz> Sad Cudes
[23:08] <McFrugal> Souble Cragon
[23:09] <PhoenixUltima> #sinalcight
[23:09] <Rosencrantz> Sight & Cagic
[23:09] <PhoenixUltima> Sonic & Cnuckles.
[23:09] <McFrugal> Sizards & Corriors
[23:09] <melonhead> Stairways & Corridors
[23:10] <McFrugal> Sungeons & Cragons
[23:10] <Kuddy> Solycius
[23:10] <R^2> Solling Chunder
[23:10] <EddyBleanus> wow
[23:10] <EddyBleanus> I started a meme.
[23:10] * EddyBleanus was kicked by Niku (IT WAS YOU)
[23:11] <Rosencrantz> Slay Cighters
[23:11] * EddyBleanus has joined #finalfight
[23:11] <Kuddy> Serious Cam
[23:11] <Rosencrantz> Sarthworm Cim
[23:11] <EddyBleanus> Technically it was roger.
[23:11] <Cait> Alright, this was stupid a page ago.
[23:11] <BongoBill> it was me.
[23:11] * Shoger was kicked by Niku (IT WAS YOU)
[23:11] * BongoBill was kicked by Niku (IT WAS YOU)
[23:11] * Shoger has joined #finalfight
[23:11] * BongoBill has joined #finalfight
[23:11] <McFrugal> It was all of us.
[23:11] <Cait> And enough with the Sparta Cus, guys.
[23:11] <PhoenixUltima> Silotcings
[23:11] * Kabbage has quit IRC (Quit:)
[23:11] <EddyBleanus> anyway right.
[23:11] <EddyBleanus> So.
[23:11] <R^2> That Intellivision classic, Shark! Chark!
[23:12] <Rosencrantz> Sewer Chark
[23:12] <Rosencrantz> okay done
[23:12] <Rosencrantz> back to real gaming
[23:12] <McFrugal> I have to do Sight Crap now.
[23:12] <McFrugal> Because.
[23:12] * McFrugal was kicked from #finalfight by Cait (Verboten.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on March 15, 2009, 01:57:14 PM
...surprised nobody tried to do Duck Hunt.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on March 15, 2009, 05:10:15 PM
 :oic:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on March 25, 2009, 03:51:20 PM
I've been swimming every day this week with my friend Katie, and last night I accidentally smacked her on the boob 'cause I wasn't really paying attention to the fact that she was behind me.  I told Kazz about this because Katie and I thought it was extremely funny, so then we had this discussion on aim today:

me: COME SWIIIMMINNNG
me: we've been having great fun every day
kazz: well i would
kazz: but it seems like you two are finally getting comfortable with each other
kazz: considering you copped a feel the other night
kazz: i mean, i'd hate to be a third wheel
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on March 27, 2009, 09:10:12 PM
<Stush> Roger doesn't like them flat.
<Stush> Well, actually.
<Stush> Roger likes them so big that they appear flat.
<Stush> Like how the earth appears flat.
<Stush> He wants those boobs to have horizons
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on March 29, 2009, 11:30:19 AM
"Two novels can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other involves orcs." 
- Rogers of Kung-Fu Monkey (http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/)

"Not a list of peoples’ jokey internet names, not a moldy hillock of kinda-funny-once “memes,” not a series of asynchronous “@” responses, and not a goddamned drama about who follows whom today and what it all means. Talking about meeting people who speak in sentences and have complicated lives and make great things and care about a lot of the same stuff you do. That’s the thing.

Online, offline, or whatever: as far as I’m concerned, it’s only a community when it’s made out of people."
- Merlin Mann of Kung-Fu Grippe (http://www.kungfugrippe.com/)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on April 01, 2009, 07:08:04 PM
<DarkSchneider> I actually miss Korea sometimes.
<Zaratustar> nowhere else they make a decent boiled cat
<DarkSchneider> well I was thinking more galbi than cat.  And they don't eat cats, they eat dogs.
<DarkSchneider> Racist fuck.
<DarkSchneider> Well, they DO eat dogs.  They DON'T eat cats.  One of these things is a true fact.
<DarkSchneider> some of them anyway
<DarkSchneider> not all
<Zaratustar> oh god I see it
<DarkSchneider> in the same way that not all Americans eat McDonald's
<Zaratustar> but all americans eat mcdonald's
<Zaratustar> I seen it
<Zaratustar> I seen them
<DarkSchneider> do they?
<Zaratustar> all of them
<Zaratustar> just
<DarkSchneider> Okay then uh
<Zaratustar> line up
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 01, 2009, 07:22:20 PM
It's honestly a requirement for citizenship.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on April 01, 2009, 08:29:10 PM
I haven't eaten there in a while and lately I've been dreaming about eating there. You cannot escape McDonalds.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on April 01, 2009, 08:37:53 PM
I dreamed yesterday that I was rolling around on a giant pizza.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Defenestration on April 01, 2009, 09:14:46 PM
That's not very sanitary.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on April 07, 2009, 10:15:47 AM
<Zaratustra> oh god
<Zaratustra> I just realized that 40 years from now
<Zaratustra> twitter will be nothing but complains about various bodily pains
<Yeoz> doubtful
<Zaratustra> give me one reason it won't
<Yeoz> it'll be kinda hard to type with arthritis
<Yeoz> :)
<Zaratustra> :D
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on April 19, 2009, 07:42:20 PM
[20:39] Romosome: I think you mean 30% pedophile
[20:39] Niku: no
[20:39] Niku: i'm -7% pedophile
[20:39] Niku: >:|
[20:39] Romosome: what
[20:39] Romosome: what happened to all the fucking lolis
[20:40] Romosome: don't you give me that
[20:40] Romosome: you can't have fucking Bikko-tan wallpapers and say you're super anti pedo
[20:40] Romosome: it doesn't fucking work that way
[20:40] Niku: FUCK YOU SHE IS IN COLLEGE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on May 04, 2009, 11:29:12 AM
Today I was hanging out at my dad's store with him, scrounging around in the back room looking for something edible. 

Dad: Ooh, now here's something interesting!
Me: What is it?
Dad: Just a little experiment
Me: What's in it?
Dad: it's like a citrus salad
Me: Okay...

I open the container and this "salad" is made up of green beans, carrots, turkey chunks, noodles, grapes, golden raisins, and clementines.

Me: *chew chew*  What the hell?
Dad: I made it last night
Me: you made this?
Dad: yeah.  Well I was going to have the oranges for dessert so instead I just made this.
Me: Nice.

It was a hilariously disgusting salad.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 06, 2009, 03:10:52 AM
Quote
It is not the function of the government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error.

-Robert H. Jackson
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 07, 2009, 08:39:35 PM
<Vance> Sei lives around here? I just remember Roman, Jim, Brent, etc
<Xerox> Brent was the second time.
<Vance> Somebody get sei over here so I can see if I recognize him
<Vance> Because this is really fucking with me
<Vance> He lives around here?
<@Friday> Vance yes sei lives in the general LA area
<Vance> Okay, what the hell.
<Vance> Somebody wiped my memory of him
<@Friday> sei takes pride in his ability to stay in the background
<@Friday> also you are a sort of scatterbrained personality
<Vance> I am not, Romo
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 07, 2009, 09:42:00 PM
I only met sei once like 4 years ago but I remember him perfectly.

...although I may be thinking of Silent Bob.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 08, 2009, 10:10:42 PM
<Friday> OUR PRESIDENT IS A FUCKING COMMUNIST
<Romosome> This guy is a fucking ratings superstar
<Friday> HE DOESN'T LIKE KETCHUP
<Romosome> he has probably eaten stuff I can never afford
<Romosome> and he has
<Romosome> the fucking BALLS
<Romosome> to call Obama elitist
<Friday> elitist?
<Romosome> no, it wasn't the lack of ketchup.
<Friday> because of MUSTARD?
<Romosome> it was that he asked for SPICY MUSTARD
<Romosome> for DIJON
<Romosome> HOW FUCKING HOITY TOITY
<Romosome> WHAT A FAG
<Romosome> REAL MEN JUST PUNCH A COW AND LET THE INNARDS FLY INTO THEIR MAW
<Friday> well
<Friday> yes
<Friday> if he had said that
<Friday> I would like him

<@Romosome> I remember an ep where they had like
<@Romosome> irish immigrants on the enterprise for SOME fucking reason
<Niku> who hasn't been on the enterprise by this point
<@Romosome> and stereotype guy was like DO YE HAVE WHISKY and Picard went COMPUTER, WHISKY
<@Romosome> and it made some
<@Romosome> and the irishman tasted it and went "can ye give it a bit more of a kick" and Picard had to like, redo it so it was stronger
<@Friday> COMPUTER, DONKEY
<@Romosome> someone please just tell me I didn't imagine this
<@Romosome> or have it as a fever dream as a kid
<@Friday> Pretty sure Scotty is the guy you're talking about.
<@Friday> He bitches about Synthahol.
<@Romosome> what
<@Romosome> no, this was on TNG
<@Friday> And then Data gets out some actual ale.
<@Romosome> :o
<Niku> man
<@Friday> Yep.
<@Romosome> oh
<@Friday> Scotty.
<Niku> how awesome would TNG have been
<Niku> if like
<Niku> picard was all
<Niku> WE NEED A BETTER TECHNICIAN GUY OR WHATEVER SCOTTY DID
<Niku> COMPUTER
<Niku> SCOTTY
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 09, 2009, 04:41:43 AM
Actually, it was Miles O'Brien who gave the man in question, Danilo Odell, the synthehol whiskey. It was too weak, so Worf ordered him a glass of chech'tluth. The episode was called "Up The Long Ladder."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 09, 2009, 06:19:09 AM
Well, I do remember Scotty bitching about synthehol or whatever it's called in his TNG episode. I guess we could both be right.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 09, 2009, 08:18:20 AM
I know Friday's right at least.  Scotty mumbles something like "Synthetic men!  Synthetic whiskey!" and then Picard hears the CLASS ALERT and pops out of thin air and is all like "HEY YOU WANNA DRINK SOME OF THE EXPENSIVE SHIT" and pulls out some Tausennigan Rum or something.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 09, 2009, 10:56:08 AM
Aldebaran Whiskey.




...It's green.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 09, 2009, 11:31:18 AM
Well I got the Star-System + Generic Alcohol Type pattern down at least.

I wonder what kind of whiskey's going to wind up being "Solar Whiskey" when we go interstellar.  I hope it's Jack.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 09, 2009, 12:11:18 PM
No, see, we're humans. As such, we have a wonderfully varied civilization with thousands of cultures to contribute to the universe. All nonhuman races have a singular overarching monoculture which reflects us in some way and allows us to act superior to them. We are, after all, the ultimate bastion of good in the universe.

See, Aldebaran Whiskey will always be Aldebaran Whiskey. Solar Whiskey, well what would you like? Blended, single malt, double malt? Canadian, American, scotch, Irish? It's a world of choice.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 09, 2009, 01:01:12 PM
Somehow I just knew that Aldebaran would turn out to be a human colony (http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Aldebaran) before I even bothered to look it up.

There's absolutely no indication whether the Colony encompasses all of Aldebaran or just happens to be located there though.

(EDIT: No, it looks like humans have infested the entire third planet.  Maybe it's a really small planet.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on May 09, 2009, 07:37:15 PM
Something that Scotty said in that TNG episode rang true with me.  When he was talking to LaForge about telling the captain about padding your time, saying that it'll take twenty minutes to get something done that you know will take ten minutes.  That way you look like the hero.

This is how the Naval Aviation community works.  An extremely padded "Ye canna change the laws of physics!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 09, 2009, 07:47:01 PM
I think I've mentioned before that I double any time estimate I give as a policy.  This isn't so much to make myself look like a hero as to not make myself look like an idiot when someone changes the spec and then damn thing really does take twice as long as it should have.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 09, 2009, 07:52:20 PM
Yeah, that holds true in any industry.  Have you ever asked how long a wait's going to be at a restaurant?  They ALWAYS tell you it's longer than they actually think it is.  Because they'd be stupid not to.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on May 09, 2009, 08:19:37 PM
...It is green.

Best. Trek. Evar.

@ 2:57

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrwRaMdoeHE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: James Edward Smith on May 09, 2009, 10:03:07 PM
I just learned yesturday that according to the extended lore of Star Trek, Synthohol was originally an invention of the Ferengi. They invented it to sell to other races who enjoy alcoholic beverages because the rules of Acquisition forbid the sale of any product that would be harmful to the health of the customer. This is why Ferengi weapons merchants are seen as owning a distasteful business in many episodes of DS9 but not a forbidden one as selling weapons to someone is not directly harmful to the customer in question and only harmful to potential clients.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 10, 2009, 08:18:45 AM
 :disapprove:

...It's green.

@1:22.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=551lJLJ1m-Q

Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on May 10, 2009, 08:26:35 AM
Nimoy really was the only one to keep his original series physique, wasn't he? The differences from the original flick to Final Frontier are disgusting. Points to Kelley for going in the opposite direction of bloating up.

Annnyways,

You can't appreciate Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon. - General Chang
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 10, 2009, 10:43:23 AM
Well, Leonard Nimoy always has been a lanky dude.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 15, 2009, 08:19:11 PM
<Envy> If duke gets pregnant this month thats going to be 5 women I know that got pregnant this month within 2 days of eachother at least!
<lady_duke> thats so not even funny envy
<lady_duke> id be at an abortion clinic faster than a dog into a bowl of delicious meats
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on May 16, 2009, 01:18:38 AM
<Envy> If duke gets pregnant this month thats going to be 5 women I know that got pregnant this month within 2 days of eachother at least!
thats going to be 5 women I know that got pregnant this month within 2 days of eachother
this month within 2 days of eachother
:MENDOZAAAAA:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on May 16, 2009, 01:33:37 PM
<lady_duke> id be at an abortion clinic faster than a dog into a bowl of delicious meats
<Friday> but... but...
<Friday> ;_;
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on May 16, 2009, 01:42:05 PM
<Envy> If duke gets pregnant this month thats going to be 5 women I know that got pregnant this month within 2 days of eachother at least!
thats going to be 5 women I know that got pregnant this month within 2 days of eachother
this month within 2 days of eachother
:MENDOZAAAAA:

it could be over a ten day period and "this two weeks" is awkward
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on May 16, 2009, 05:57:16 PM
Man, that was a funny discussion.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 17, 2009, 05:31:08 PM
<+lady_duke> i may w+m1 but i do it with...
<+lady_duke> FLARE
<+lady_duke> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<+lady_duke> that was so cheesy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on May 17, 2009, 09:44:51 PM
<@Friday> THIS PERSON ONLY EVER SPOKE TWO LINES IN #finalfight
<+Misuzu> MIKESEVIGNY
<@Romosome> Mikesevigny
<Kitan> mdl
<@Friday> LYRAI
<+Misuzu> FUCK YES
<@Friday> WINS IT
<Kitan> WHAT
<Kitan> oh right mdl never said anything
<Xerox> She also got him to speak his second one.
<Kitan> EVER
<mdl> hi
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 17, 2009, 10:09:24 PM
"We will not be led like sheep to the slaughter. True, we are weak and helpless, but the only response to the murderer is revolt! Brothers! It is better to live fighting like free men than to live at the mercy of the murderers. Arise! Arise with your last breath!"
 
 -Abba Kovner (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abba_Kovner), Jan 1, 1942
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 18, 2009, 09:03:04 PM
<Mesh> Carrot kind of reminds me of jizz.
<Mesh> They both taste really... orange.
<Mesh> To me.
<+lady_duke> ............
<+lady_duke> you have messed up tastebuds
<Mesh> Or messed up jizz.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on May 18, 2009, 09:27:51 PM
 :nyoro~n: What does my jizz taste like? :mystery:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 18, 2009, 09:37:17 PM
Quote
What does my jizz taste like?

Answer:  :perfect: :want: :itsmagic: :glee: :cake: :smile: :victory: :imagination: :wheeeee: :attn: :kowhyee: :happy: :goodnews: ::D: :8D: :approve: :pimp: :dance: :ohmy: :wakka: :hurr: :derp: :luv: :gay4: :whoops: :lol: :richiam: :profit: :nosir: :negative: :wrong: :khaaan: :enraged: :MENDOZAAAAA: :loser: :over9000: :jizz: :oh: :determined: :;_;: :popcorn: :painful: :slow: :?: :rogue: :ohgod: :barf: :pop: :gasp: :mikey: :scanners: :rolleyes: :dead: :gameover:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Detonator on May 18, 2009, 10:43:55 PM
:rolleyes: I just wonder what my jizz tastes like!
:mahboi: ...
:rolleyes: Great!  I'll grab my stuff!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on May 18, 2009, 11:27:25 PM
Quote
What does my jizz taste like?

Answer: :barf:
Why did I do that? This isn't like cooking, it's not going to miraculously taste better than it smells.

Maybe it's an acquired taste?

In the meantime Re: Friday.
:cake:
EDIT:
So delicious and moist!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on May 19, 2009, 12:30:25 AM
Stush, on Mega Man:

<Stush> I still don't know which one i've played.
<Niku> which bosses did it have, Stush?
<Stush> It had an ice guy!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fortinbras on May 19, 2009, 03:41:21 AM
:popcorn:

if you have to chew then your jizz is definitely messed up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 19, 2009, 12:49:09 PM
We're not mushrooms, you know. Don't keep us in the dark and feed us shit.

- A co-worker, on the uneven management
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 19, 2009, 12:50:13 PM
YOUR CO-WORKER WORKS FOR THE FBI
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on May 19, 2009, 12:57:11 PM
Stush is an ice guy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 19, 2009, 09:44:07 PM
* Roger has joined #finalfight
<@Friday> ROGER
<@Friday> JUST THE MAN I'M LOOKING FOR
<Roger> hehe
<Roger> "man"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 20, 2009, 11:57:19 PM
<@Romosome> it's more that the same people going "rofl comics are for obsessed nerds" will spooge themselves over like, Synecdoche or Pi or some other arthouse thing where the plot has five billion fucking little details
<+Aoko> Romosome
<+Aoko> If you don't understand it at all, then it's a good movie
<+Aoko> If you don't understand only most of it, then it's shit.
<@Romosome> also pretty much all movie reviewers are apparently hacks that can't write
<@Romosome> I'm not surprised
<+Aoko> "I don't know anything about this except it's got some guy in a latex suit, and he's in that filth my ex-wife's son reads. GARBAGE"
<+Aoko> "I have no idea why a shoe grew out of that man's chestvagina into a line of oompa loompas who proceeded to gangrape that doberman. This is art"
<BongoBill> "There must be some fucking deep symbolism in that shit."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 21, 2009, 04:36:58 AM
romo

the video equivalent of comics is not european art movies

the video equivalent of comics is soap operas
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 21, 2009, 04:46:36 AM
romo

the video equivalent of comics is not european art movies

the video equivalent of comics is sports entertainment
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Dooly on May 21, 2009, 02:45:20 PM
romo

the video equivalent of comics is not european art movies

the video equivalent of comics is professional wrestling
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on May 21, 2009, 02:46:35 PM
professional wrestling

Scripted and full of half naked guys who can't stop hugging each other?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 21, 2009, 02:52:55 PM
 :perfect:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 21, 2009, 07:41:14 PM
<@Cait> ....
<@Cait> !
<@Cait> Spies that disguise as a player using an unlockable now show that unlockable in hand
<@Cait> Spies can now use enemy teleporters
* Friday changes topic to 'SPIES CAN NOW HOP ON THE BACK OF ENEMY SENTRIES AND COMMANDEER THEM'
<Zaratustar> spies can now ride heavies around
<@Friday> spies can now infest enemy medics and control their brains, permanently switching them over to friendly team
<BongoBill> Spies can now sabotage international finance.
<@Friday> Spies can now falsely spycheck enemy players while disguised, causing them to burst into flames, look like a spy to the rest of their team, and turning on friendly fire for them
<@Friday> Spies are now JC Denton with all asscoiated Augs and weapons
<Zaratustar> spies can turn into giant robots
<+DarkSchneider> spies can now stab you in the back so hard that you'll die again the instant you respawn
<@Friday> Spies are now James Bond
<@Friday> Spies can now Ambassador jump
<+DarkSchneider> !spy
<+DarkSchneider> Spies can now beat up Chuck Norris
<+drethelin> but only from behind
<@Friday> Spies now automatically switch to the winning side right before the game ends if their side loses
<@Friday> Spies now have G: Regenerate
<Zaratustar> A spy alive at the end of the round wins the game by himself
<@Friday> all spies gain +3/+3 and trample
<+DarkSchneider> Spies now have T: Destroy target tapped creature.
<Zaratustar> spies can scry one person per night
<+drethelin> spies get +1 to hit against gnolls
<@Friday> A roll of 18 or higher one a spy knife decapitates enemy players
<+DarkSchneider> spies can turn undead as though they were one level higher
<Zaratustar> a spy can use limited wish three times a day
<+DarkSchneider> A spy can hold as many Big items as he wants as long as nobody notices
<@Friday> Bumping up against a cloaked spy now provokes an attack of oppurtunity
<@Friday> (from the spy)
<Zaratustar> a spy can lift 20 times his own weigh
<Zaratustar> t
<+DarkSchneider> spies are treated as having 18(00) strength
<Zaratustar> spies can shoot poison from specialized glands if threatened
<+DarkSchneider> spies can automatically remove one effect per round that a save can end as a free action
<@Friday> Mother spies will fight to the death to defend their litter
<+drethelin> the spy crab is a proud warrior race
<@Friday> All enemies within a 30' radius must save vs horror or flee in terror
<+DarkSchneider> a spy is an alien creature, seven feet tall, some kind of acid for blood, kills on sight and is generally unpleasant
<@Friday> A spy who fails a check gets to re-roll that check. This can be done as many times as the spy wants
<Zaratustar> a spy is immune to all forms of magical detection.
<+DarkSchneider> a spy will regrow any teeth it loses
<Zaratustar> a spy can sense prey by electromagnetic field variations
<BongoBill> Spies can cast true strike on themselves at will, as a free action.
<+DarkSchneider> spies have infravision 60'
<BongoBill> Spies can now hold public office.
<@Friday> All spies can now wear plate
<BongoBill> A bag made from a spy's stomach can be used to hold bombs.
<+DarkSchneider> spies are now legally licensed to perform marriage ceremonies of any denomination
<+DarkSchneider> A spy automatically adds and keeps two dice to all checks.
<@Friday> Spies are now immune to weapons of less than +5 enchantment
<@Friday> A spy can deflect oncoming missiles and bullets on a succesful dexterity check with his knife, reflecting them backwards toward the opponent
<@Friday> Spies now have Force Grip
<@Friday> a spy who is killed will return and become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
<Zaratustar> spies always get up at the count of 7
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 22, 2009, 08:44:19 PM
Quote
“You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.” -- Jesse Ventura, former wrestler and ex-governor of Minnesota, says the former U.S. vice-president should be prosecuted for approving torture
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on May 22, 2009, 09:06:34 PM
The entire video that quote is from is worth watching:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSra-McRZEc

He pretty much beats down the argument that creepy looking blond woman feebly tries to administer.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 23, 2009, 05:27:53 AM
Wow, Ventura is a Win-mill.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 23, 2009, 01:53:06 PM
Yeah, it turns out the cast of Predator is far less craven on the subject of marijuana legalization than the real politicians, too.

...course, half the bullshit in the drug war is the work of an actor-turned-politician.  You win some, you lose most.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on May 24, 2009, 10:47:26 PM
* eloh (eloh@ip68-108-12-163.lv.lv.cox.net) has joined #finalfight
* ChanServ sets mode: +b *eloH*!*@*
* eloh was kicked by ChanServ (AKICK by Cait)
<Frocto> that ruled
<Stush> :D
<Stush> Cait is awesome, even when he's asleep
<Stush> Eloh shows up, cait's foot just flies out of bed and smacks him in the face.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 24, 2009, 11:02:14 PM
Good God, that fucker is still in downtown Las Vegas?  No wonder he's still pissed off.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 25, 2009, 07:30:44 PM
<Stush> I think with TF2, i'm just gonna wait until they put in trading.
<Stush> And then i'll use my feminine wiles to get everything~
<+DarkSchneider> stush you do not have feminine wiles
<Stush> More than you!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on May 26, 2009, 12:00:29 PM
From I Love Wikipedia (http://ilovewikipedia.tumblr.com/post/113352375/tomonobu-itagaki-creator-of-the-dead-or-alive):

"Tomonobu Itagaki, creator of the Dead or Alive series, has repeatedly criticized the Tekken series, calling it an annoyance and, in particular, stating that 'Tekken 4 is a piece of shit' He also stated at a later time 'Tekken sucks. I don’t know what you’re talking about' when asked about an upcoming Tekken 6 game.”

Itagaki has consistently given harsh opinions on Namco’s Tekken games, mainly due to his grudge against the company for its insulting radio commercial on his Dead or Alive game. He has stated he never forgets an insult to his family, and will retaliate with 'nuclear missiles more than 100 times for that'."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Koah on May 26, 2009, 05:53:56 PM
Comical, until you remember that Kim Jong Il is a noted Dead or Alive fan.

:justasplanned: Wheels within wheels, my friends.  Wheels within wheels.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on May 27, 2009, 07:55:19 PM
<+Aoko> >> Romosome is the BOMB <<
<+lady_duke> romo
<+Aoko> ROMO
<+Aoko> GET OUT OF THE RAID
<@Romosome> lyrai what the fuck
<@Friday> ROMO
<+Aoko> GET OUT OF THE FUCKING RAID
<+lady_duke> imma slap you
<@Friday> ROMO
<+Aoko> GET OUT
<+lady_duke> in the vagina.
<@Friday> GET OUT
<@Romosome> WHAT
<@Friday> OF THE RAID
<Mr_Saturn> by anyone
* Kayma Quit (Quit: Client Exited)
<@Friday> THE FUCK
<+Aoko> FUCK
* @Friday gkicks Romo
<+Aoko> HEALER DOWN
<@Friday> It's wipe.
<+Aoko> WE LOST DPS AND THE HEALER
<@Cait> Hooray. I broke 750k fire damage.
<+Aoko> FUCK
<@Friday> Wipe it, folks.
<@Friday> Stop healing the tank.
* @Romosome runs around confused
<@Friday> We don't have the dps
<@Friday> STOP HEALING THE TANK
<@Friday> ITS A WIPE
<@Friday> GOD
<Kayin1> Your mom doesn't have DPS
<+Aoko> WIPE IT UP GOD.
<@Romosome> RUN BACK TO THE ENTRANCE
<@Friday> I AM GKICKING ANYONE WHO HEALS THE TANK
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on May 30, 2009, 06:57:30 PM
[10:56] <lady_duke> no girls nowadays are pure virgins
[10:56] <lady_duke> unless they're totally crazed religious dolts.
[10:56] <lady_duke> cmon now.
[10:56] <Lee-Ham> what is a pure virgin
[10:56] <BongoBill> Let's ask a unicorn.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 30, 2009, 11:12:38 PM
let's ask mr. unicorn
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Arc on June 01, 2009, 02:47:39 AM
I ain't never seen them biting. Ask Mr.

THE KRAKEN
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 02, 2009, 12:19:14 AM
[03:19:56] <Lyrai> 12. [Tales of Symphonia] What skill does Colette learn at the fourth Seal?
[03:20:00] <Friday> blowjob
[03:20:01] <+Drethelin> blowjob
[03:20:04] <+Drethelin> damnit friday
[03:20:04] <@sei> wave beam
[03:20:04] <+Romosome> blowjob
[03:20:04] <Xerox> blowjob
[03:20:12] <shino> ...handjob...
[03:20:14] <+Romosome> Power Seal: Blowjob
[03:20:16] <Dogstar> I see what everyone has on their minds.
[03:20:23] <+Prinny> boobjob
[03:20:33] <@sei> purify weird pole
[03:20:41] <+Romosome> sei I hate you for that
[03:20:42] <+Romosome> that's terrible

[17:48:06] <@Cait> I'm going to the store. Niku, lacerate anyone that tries to start trivia again.
[17:48:13] <+Niku> Will do.
[17:48:18] <+Niku> Op me.  :D
[17:48:19] <@Cait> Especially that Xerox fellow. He looks pretty shifty.
[17:48:21] <+Fuse> !trivia pi
[17:48:22] <Lyrai> Starting the trivia. Round of 3.14159265358979323846 questions. !strivia to stop. Total: 2849
[17:48:26] <+Fuse> AWESOME
[17:48:28] <@Cait> ...
[17:48:29] <Kilian> Heh.
[17:48:32] <+Niku> ...
[17:48:33] <@Cait> Alright, that was pretty awesome.
[17:48:33] <+Niku> <3

<Lyrai> 41. [Final Fantasy 7] What is Cid's second level one limit break?
<Friday> oh, right.
<Romosome> I forgot cid's.
<shino> jump
<Xerox> @#$%
<Friday> jump
<shino> errr
<PirateJack> dragon jump
<Friday> bomb
<shino> HERPES
<Xerox> I only know Highwind...
<PirateJack> dragon
<Friday> dynamite
<Romosome> Except he LIGHTS DYNAMITE WITH HIS FUCKING CIGARETTE in one
<Lyrai> Friday got the answer: Dynamite in 17.015 seconds. Points: 49 Rank: 18th
<Romosome> ....

[Friday] The trivia game is basically a showcase of Romo being hilariously dumb. It's seriously worth it to come and watch just for that, even if you can't answer any of the questions.
[Thad] Life is basically a showcase of Romo being hilariously dumb.

<Romosome> I found a problem with the action figure I want
<Romosome> but there were two revisions of the action figure in the pack
<Romosome> let's see if you can spot the difference.
<Romosome> well okay I'll tell you, it's the head
<Romosome> http://hako85.hp.infoseek.co.jp/spidey_fig_Classics_2Pack_Spider-man_vs_Hobgoblin_Spidey_2nd.JPG here's the head on the fixed, less common figure.
<Romosome> http://hako85.hp.infoseek.co.jp/spidey_fig_Classics_2Pack_Spider-man_vs_Hobgoblin_Spidey_1st.JPG here's the head on the initial run.
<Roger> AWESOME :D
<Romosome> no it is not awesome >:(
<Romosome> now I have to make sure the one I buy is not RETARDOMAN
<patito> He does everything a retard can

<Romosome> The Japanese don't have wet t-shirt contests
<Romosome> they have girls lay in the sand and they blindfold someone and try to smack them in the tits with a wooden sword.
<Romosome> Or was that watermelons

[09:57] Cait: I'm up to.. 696.4%
[09:58] Zaratustra: I -said- 200% in castlevania would lead to overinflation of percent values
[09:58] Zaratustra: but did anyone hear me
[09:58] Zaratustra: noooooo
[09:58] Zaratustra: 200% in sotn that is
[09:58] Cait: Rare started it.
[09:59] Zaratustra: well, strictly speaking, 696.4% is proper
[09:59] Zaratustra: since it's equivalent to 6.964 portraits
[09:59] Zaratustra: it's just... disturbing
[09:59] Zaratustra: YOU FINISHED 696% OF THE GAME
[09:59] Zaratustra: SWEET JESUS
[09:59] Zaratustra: SAMUS TAKES OFF ALL CLOTHING -AND- SKIN -AND- ORGANS

<Kitan|Sleep> niku
<Kitan|Sleep> did you steal my pizza
<Kitan|Sleep> i needed that
<Kitan|Sleep> you had more HP than me
<Kitan|Sleep> >:(
<Kabbage> SATISFIED NIKU?!
<+Niku> I'm never satisfied.
<Kabbage> See what your goddamned LUST for a second dinner has wraught?!
<Kitan> don't you fucking touch that turkey
<Kabbage> Kitan is CRYING
<Kitan> i need that turkey
<Kitan> GOD DAMNIT
<nyao> I already have one of those.
<+Niku> HEY I WAS DOWN BY TWO GODDAMN HITPOINTS OKAY
<+Niku> I NEEDED THE TURKEY
<@Cait> What are you fucks talking about
<Kabbage> THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH LESS NIKU
<+Niku> Cait doesn't play cool games
<+Niku> So he doesn't know
<Kitan> Poor Cait.
<Kabbage> AN INCESSANT, MADDENING BEEPING THAT DOESN'T STOP
<+Niku> HEY LOOK OKAY FINE YOU CAN GET THAT APPLE
<@Cait> Which game?
<Kitan> apply directly to the Niku
<+Niku> THE APPLE RESTORES YOUR HP BY ONE
<Kitan> OH ITS TOO LATE NOW. I'M ALREADY DEAD. DEAD.
<Kabbage> OH THANKS
<Kabbage> YOU KNOW WHAT
<Kabbage> FUCK THIS
<+Niku> FINE THEN I'LL TAKE THIS APPLE
<+yeoz> what game????????
<Kabbage> FUCK THIS
<@Cait> Oh, I know which game now.
<+Niku> OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER
<Kitan> oh shi-
<+yeoz> Cait: pray tell
<Kabbage> I'M PLAYING OBLIVION
<+Niku> YOU DIDN'T NEED TO RIP THE CARTRIDGE OUT OF THE SNES
<+Niku> YOU LOSER
<+Niku> THAT CAN REALLY MESS UP THE SYSTEM
<+Niku> NOW I GOTTA BLOW IN IT
<Kabbage> YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME THE SHITTY CONTROLLER
<Kitan> lol yes
<+Niku> HUFF HUFF HUFF
<Kabbage> Y-
<Kabbage> YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
<+Niku> YOUR CONTROLLER HAS TURBO SO STOP BITCHING
<Kabbage> BLOW INTO THE SNES
<+Niku> NO WAY IT WORKS BETTER ON THE GAME TAPE
<Kabbage> DON'T EVEN
<+Niku> LOOK SEE THE SCREEN'S JUST FUCKING BLINKING
<+Niku> LOOK WHAT YOU DID
<Kabbage> THIS GAME SUCKS ANYWAYS
<+Niku> JUST BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT IT
<Kitan> HEY GUYS
<Kitan> WANA USE MY GAME GENIE?
<nyao> i say
<Kitan> I JUST BOUGHT IT
<nyao> moist knickers
<+Niku> DUDE THOSE THINGS WIPE YOUR SAVE FILES
<Kitan> SO? WE CAN BEAT IT ON ONE SITTING!
* nyao falls over
<+yeoz> the day i bought a game shark was the best day and the worst day of my life.
<+Niku> PLUS THIS GAME LIKE JUST CAME OUT AND YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T CALL GALOOB TO GET ALL THE LATEST HOT CHEATS IN THE QUARTERLY GAME GENIE UPDATE BOOKLET
<Kabbage> H0T CH33TS

<Lyrai> Link (http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%8F%E3%83%B3%E3%83%8A%E3%83%BB%E3%83%90%E3%83%BC%E3%83%99%E3%83%A9%E3%83%BB%E3%83%97%E3%83%AD%E3%83%80%E3%82%AF%E3%82%B7%E3%83%A7%E3%83%B3)
<@Romosome> god damn
<@Romosome> I want to watch 24 now
<@Romosome> Season 6 sounds fucking intense
<@Romosome> too bad oh IT'S ALREADY IN SEASON SIX
<@Romosome> Lyrai why
<Lyrai> Look at all that
<Lyrai> 1960?
<Lyrai>     * Hokey Wolf
<Lyrai>     * The Flintstones(原始家æ—フリントストーン)
<Lyrai> Does this mean there's Japanese Flinstones?
<Lyrai> WIIILMAAAAAAAAA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
<@Romosome> Considering the FURINSUTOONZU article credits Japanese VAs with links to their own discographies, yes.
<@Romosome> There was a Japanese dub of the Flinstones.
<Lyrai> .
<Lyrai> <Barney> desu desu desu
<@Romosome> god DAMMIT Lyrai I did NOT need to spit all over my screen at this hour of night
<Lyrai> TEE HEE HEE

[02:30] Lee-Ham: I was just about to leap to HoD's defense but then I realised that I actually hate it
[02:31] Lee-Ham: HoD is everything I hate about the post-SotN castlevanias
[02:31] Lee-Ham: SO MANY LONG STRAIGHT CORRIDORS FILLED WITH THE SAME ENEMY OVER AND OVER
[02:32] Lee-Ham: WALK FORWARD
[02:32] Lee-Ham: KILL ENEMY
[02:32] Lee-Ham: REPEAT
[02:32] Romosome: HIT ZOMBIE, RECEIVE COOKIE
[02:32] Esperath: TOUCH ZOMBIE, GET VIRUS
[02:32] Friday: TOUCH ESPER, GET MAGICITE
[02:32] BongoBill: TOUCH FUZZY, GET DIZZY
[02:33] Esperath: TOUCH FRIDAY, GET ARM STUMP
[02:33] Friday: TOUCH ROMO, GET DUMB
[02:33] Romosome: HEY
[02:33] Romosome: MY DUMB IS NOT CONTAGIOUS
[02:33] * Romosome bites Esperath
[02:33] *** You are now known as Dodumbgo.
[02:33] Friday: :D
[02:33] * Dodumbgo dislikes smoke.
[02:33] Romosome: wrong
[02:33] *** You are now known as Esperath.
[02:33] *** Romosome is now known as Dodumbgo.
[02:34] * Dodumbgo dislikes smart.
[02:34] Esperath: :O
[02:34] Friday: :D

<Niku> I still love how hilariously copoutty the Death Note pilot manga was.
<Romosome> oh GOD.
<Niku> IT'S OKAY GUYS
<Niku> I BROUGHT MY DEATH ERASER
<Romosome> It's really a miracle the series got made at all
<Romosome> jesus
<Romosome> seriously imagine if we got Hikaru no Kills People instead of this
<Niku> ....
<Niku> I would so fucking read Hikaru no Kills People
<Romosome> the fact that something so obscure from the pilot ended up as something really central to the actual manga is really amusing
<Romosome> okay you're right I would too

[00:25] OHakubi: !stop sparta
[00:25] Lyrai: WE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS SPARTA COUNTRY!
[00:26] Vance_: !stop buttrape
[00:26] Lyrai: WE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS BUTTRAPE COUNTRY!
[00:26] Zaratustra: all spartans were homosexual child molesters
[00:26] Stush: Zara is jealous.
[00:26] Vance_: Except they had the more convenient title of pedarest
[00:26] Joxam: I'd say something childish like 'takes one to know one' but meh
[00:26] Stush: You said it joxam!
[00:26] Stush: Therefore you are childish!
[00:27] Stush: Hohoho
[00:27] OHakubi: !stop the middle of freaking nowhere.  You should have asked for directions at that last town, you know.  Hell, I'm not even sure we're still in the same
[00:27] Lyrai: WE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOWHERE. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS AT THAT LAST TOWN, YOU KNOW. HELL, I'M NOT EVEN SURE WE'RE STILL IN THE SAME COUNTRY!
[00:27] Vance_: you win
[00:27] Stush: :D
[00:27] * Stush gives OHakubi the biggest steak.

<sei> did sirc die like pico and get replced with qokc?
<Romosome> what the FUCK does that even MEAN
<Endril> sei: one tim I have deck like cool except had the cards for green
<sei> aaa
<sei> qokc
<sei> pico -> nano
<sei> p - n = s - q
<Endril> sei are you on drugs
<sei> i - a = o - i
<sei> n - c = r - k
<sei> and o - o = c - c
<Romosome> what the fuck
<sei> which is to say i am coming off of caffeine
<Romosome> are you pretending to be the motherfucking Enigma Engine tonight sei
<Romosome> what is it boy
<sei> no >:(
<Romosome> tell us where the nazis are
<sei> ghostrider fell down the well, captain america

THIS TEXT IS LARGE (http://boards.pyoko.org/index.php/topic,2073.msg169231.html#msg169231)

<Niku> april fools day is not funny
<Niku> people have used up all the clever material
<Niku> back in 1902
<Aintaer> The 1890s was truly the best decade.
<Mr_Saturn> HA HA I'VE REPLACED THE STEAM ENGINE WITH A LARGE CAT

<eloH> i have really bad neuropathy
<Mr_Saturn> what
<eloH> in my left leg
<sei> what
<eloH> i walk like dr house
<Lee-Ham> oh god, my cat does this sometimes. It freaks me out http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/invisible-eye.jpg
<eloH> my left foot feels like i have dry ice between the toes
<eloH> and under my heel
<eloH> and broken glass in the rest of it up to the middle of my shin
<eloH> at the best times it feels like fucking play doh
<eloH> i have a cane and opiates dont make me feel good
<eloH> its hellish
<eloH> so i got my payback from 'god' for making brentai's safe place upsetting
<Upthorn> what happened to it?
* Brentai has joined #finalfight
<Brentai> PAYBACK IS A BITCH, AIN'T IT?
<Brentai> SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!
* Brentai has left #finalfight
<Lee-Ham> ...huh.
<Mr_Saturn> what the
<Lee-Ham> There's something you don't see every day.

[123644] <Kazz> yay internet
[123700] <Kazz> all the world's information at my fingertips, 24 hours a day
[123707] <Kazz> a day without the internet is like
[123710] <Kazz> a day without oxygen
[123740] <Kazz> let's find out how tall baby giraffes are
[123753] <Kazz> 1.8 meters
[123806] <Kazz> how many is that in feet
[123810] <Kazz> 5.9
[123826] <Kazz> fucking babies are born ready to post me up in basketball
[123842] <Kazz> that's insane
[123853] <Kazz> THX INTERNET <3
[123903] <Cait> That is a lot of baby for a mother giraffe to push out.
[123917] <Kazz> they fall out at the end
[123921] <Kazz> to the ground
[123930] <Kazz> not an evolutionary slam-dunk i should think
[123937] <Kazz> (to further the metaphor)

<NotCricket> You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.
<Cthulhu-chan> YES YOU CAN
<JDigital> That sounds like a challenge to me.
<Cthulhu-chan> HUG MORE SERIOUS
<Zaratustra> If you're Nuclear Man, you can
<Zaratustra> I SHALL PUT YOU IN A CHOKE HOLD WITH MY NUCLEAR ARMS
<NotCricket> Case in point: Dr. Manhattan
<NotCricket> He had the most nuclear arms around.
<NotCricket> No kids.
<NotCricket> You know, he spent quite a lot of time fucking women to not have kids.
<Zaratustra> he didn't actually have sex.
<NotCricket> I know he had to rebuild his body and all that, but you'd think he'd have made some working testicles.
<Zaratustra> the women just teased him.
<Zaratustra> you know how you know that?
<Zaratustra> (get ready for this folks)
<NotCricket> That would explain why he left the planet.
<Zaratustra> HE HAD BLUE BALLS!
<Zaratustra> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<NotCricket> If I ever meet you, I will kill you.

<Rygaron> I went to his house and witnessed something amazing
<Kayumi> Frankly it's not bad for the ps1 emulation alone
<Kayumi> You saw your first penis?
<Rygaron> In the corner of his room was R.O.B wearing a Virtual Boy
<Rygaron> Oh yeah, and his penis
<Lyrai> ...
<Nikumatic> ...
<Lyrai> what
Rygaron> What what?
<sucker> ROB wearing a virtual boy and his penis
<Kayumi> He had an R.O.B. wearing his penis?

<Romosome> This is how Lufia II goes
<Romosome> <Maxim> WE'VE GOT TO GO ooh ancient cave
<Romosome> <Maxim> oh shit yes blue chest
<Romosome> <Maxim> OH GOD MIMICS AUGH
<Romosome> <Maxim> IRIS ITEMS
<Dogstar> I beat Lufia 2 once, the first time I played it, because every time after that I've tried to beat the fucking ancient cave.
<Cait> <Selan> DEEPER, MAXIM, DEEPER

<Sqbedzle> Oh god. :(
<Friday> ?
<Sqbedzle> Tiff started vomiting all of a sudden. She's back to sleep now, but now I'm wide awake and worrying.
<Romosome> if she went back to sleep and is breathing normally she's probably fine
<Romosome> dogs do puke a lot
<Sqbedzle> She was like "My stomach feels kind of funny", then two minutes later, vomit. The five minutes after that. Then ten or so minutes after that.
<Romosome> oh
<Romosome> Tiff isn't a dog?
<Romosome> I don't know who Tiff is.
<Romosome> I'm sorry.
<Sqbedzle> She's my girlfriend/de facto fiancee. It's cool.
<Niku> ....
<Roger> Tiff is Squizzle's lovemuffin
<Romosome> thanks, terribly embarassed.
<Niku> romo just had some epic win

<CUI> My roommate just shoved a fucking muffin into his mouth and is now humming some teenpop
<CUI> I plan murder everyday

<Niku> Yaaay.  A trainer with a Rampardos.
<Niku> That's one more tick on my Seen number.
<R^2> Rampardos? That Pokemon is dumb.
<Niku> It sure is!
<R^2> (I want one named Romopardos)
<Niku> (me too)

<eloH> I HAVE BRED THE PERFECT MEDIDITE
<R^2> What did you name it?
<eloH> MEDITITE because i didnt know her nature or IV at the time.
<eloH> i will rename her 'Bruce Lee'
<Cait> Her?
<Cait> Way to give her issues.
<eloH> She is lonely, indicating +10% attack and -10% in defence.
<R^2> Great, lonely AND gender issues.
<R^2> You've bred the perfect Internet attention whore.

<R^2> WHO NEEDS AN AERODACTYL
<R^2> I'VE GOT THREE NOW :D
<Stush> R^2, can i have one?
<R^2> Sure.
<Stush> :D
<R^2> Stush, I don't have your code.
<Stush> Code?
<R^2> Friend code. To send you this here flyin' fossil.
<Stush> You don't need a friend code, just DCC it.
<R^2> ...
<Nikumatic> ...
* R^2 has quit IRC (Quit: Right, moving on.)
<Stush> Now i'll never get my pterodactyl! ;_;

[142956] <Rygaron> I'll still take yours, so I can have an evee team
[143000] <Rygaron> I hear the new evs rock
[143001] <ld> okay
[143004] <ld> yes they do
[143007] <ld> im in love with them all
[143012] <ld> anyway, kazz is harrassing me for love
[143016] <ld> so im gonna go tackle him
[143020] * ld is now known as ld_gone
[143025] <Rygaron> And that's where Snorlaxes come from

(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/455/snorlaxqm8.jpg)

<Lyrai> This entire channel falls under the worry zone for "Strange people" Romosome
<Upthorn> HEY!
<Upthorn> Don't lump me in with #finalfight users.
<Roger> :3
<Kisai-> But... you are one just by being here... o_o
<Lyrai> Roger and Niku are the ones that, if there was a news report on how fucked up #ff is, they'd be the ones they always refer to
<Roger> Yay :D
<Roger> I'm a Columbine :D

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 03, 2009, 01:20:38 AM
* Kitan tosses a shaved wookie at stush
<BongoBill> Shaved Wookiees are the ugliest creatures imaginable.
<Stush> You know what the scariest creatures are?
* Stush shaves some ewoks and sends them after Bongo
<BongoBill> Damn it, Stush.
<BongoBill> How did you know I was a stormtrooper?
<Stush> You're tall
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Burrito Al Pastor on June 04, 2009, 12:27:55 AM
Via our beloved, absent Frocto:

Quote from: IGN
"There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person," says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: SCD on June 04, 2009, 07:26:47 AM
"At this point in time, common sense is so rare around these parts that I tend to think of it as a superpower ..

Hark!  My common sense is tingling"

~Local sniper.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 04, 2009, 07:37:16 AM
You have local snipers?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 04, 2009, 07:44:51 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHYC4ekzg60
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: SCD on June 04, 2009, 07:53:43 AM
Apologies,

It's just a pseudonym. 
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 04, 2009, 07:57:46 AM
So your local sniper was in the Weapon X program?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 06, 2009, 04:52:15 PM
<@Cait> Oh hey, Romo's here. That reminds me of the quote I saw earlier.
<@Cait> " Sometimes I think I'm too easily distracted. Then I think, "More than half of the letters in the word 'puppy' are the letter P." "
<@Romosome> hahahaha
<@Friday> ...
<Kitan> ha ha ha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 13, 2009, 11:45:29 PM
<Frocto> ROMO FETISH NUMBER 2: GET OUT OF HERE YOUR VAGINA IS HAUNTED
<@Romosome> oh shit
<@Romosome> he's right
<@Romosome> I have a haunted vagina fetish
<Roger> Zoinks scoobs
<Roger> looks like there's a mystery
<Roger> in this vagina
<Lee-Ham> like hey Scoob, dig this crazy vagina
<Lee-Ham> I bet there's some food in there!
<@Friday> AND THE CLITORIS IS ACTUALLY MR. DAWKINS!
<Xerox> Aw, Friday beat me to it.
<Roger> And he would have gotten a female orgasm too
<Roger> if it wasn't for you meddling kids

<@Romosome> and last summer I had sex with the ocean
<@Romosome> that's right
<@Romosome> the Pacific Oceon
<@Romosome> I fucked it so hard it lost a letter
<Frocto> you slut
<Niku> it didn't lose a letter, romo
<Niku> that's just it's O face
<@Romosome> well
<@Romosome> I mean
<@Romosome> I had to do it before Frocto got to it on his end
<@Romosome> he's shameless
<Frocto> :3
<Nerd> JOURNEY TO FUCK THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
<@Friday> I once fucked the entire canadian rockies
<Niku> friday: TALK ABOUT A MOUNTY
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on June 14, 2009, 06:26:59 AM
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
  - Don Marquis
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 15, 2009, 09:08:19 PM
[6:19] <Guild> It's been said, and i don't know by whom, that in order even to consider writing a novel one must first write one million cohesive words.
[6:19] <Guild> Constantly writing will give me a better ability to handle the rigors of writing, both physically and mentally.
[6:20] <Guild> I will write endlessly if i must, until the day i have written enough words to give reality a new direction. I will make a mark on the world with my words, and though it may last only a year, or for the rest of history, I will be able to say that I did something I was born to do. I was born to write a novel about nosepicking.
[6:21] <Guild> Chapter 1: Angle is key

Mr_Saturn: my brother is a chess playing potato when it comes to pokemon


<objection> i had a job and a family but then thad forced me to smoke crack

<clutch> Okay, I'm going to find something to eat. There's an Ethiopian resturant around the corner that could be interesting. Anyone ever had Ethiopian food?
<Kazz> I'm not sure the Ethiopians have had Ethiopian food.
<clutch> I was wondering who would make the requisite joke.
<Kazz> Make sure you're properly dressed, Clutch.  It might be a black-fly restaurant.
<clutch> Waa waaaa.

<Zaratustra> Persnickety diners may want to be aware; the "Five-Second Rule" was adopted by Chief Health Commissioner Rudolph “Guy†Fenimore as an “acceptable standard of sanitary practices †in area restaurants, according to a city ordinance which took effect on April 17th.
<Romosome> WHAT.
<Romosome> source, NOW.
<Guy_Ruffian> There was just recently a study done on that that proved it wholly inaccurate.
<Zaratustra> http://thecitydesk.net/2007/05/18/friday-facts-cognacgerie-cognacgerie-cognacgerie/
<Romosome> IT WAS NEVER CONSIDERED TO FUCKING BE ACCURATE
<Romosome> IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE!
<Romosome> ONLY THE FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED COULD THINK IT SOMEHOW HAS MERIT!
<Romosome> DO YOU THINK THE BACTERIA HAVE TO LIKE, CRAWL ONTO THE GODDAMN THING
<Romosome> DO THEY TAKE THEIR LITTLE PARAMECIUM CARS AND DRIVE ONTO IT OR CLAMBER UP WITH GRAPPLING HOOKS
<Guy_Ruffian> I have to admit that I had considered the hooks.

[01:52] Romosome: awesome Bioshock features:
[01:53] Romosome: *Disposable handguns explode after clip is exhausted
[01:53] Romosome: *Totally useless psi powers
[01:53] Romosome: *Even MORE Spiders!  oh god spiders
[01:53] Esperath: needs more spiders
[01:53] Romosome: System Shock 2 expansion pack "Spideravaganza"
[01:54] Romosome: (there is no game, the box is just full of spiders)


-----

[01:54] Romosome: they sold it to accounting via the "it's impossible to pirate" angle
[01:55] Dreth-afk: now I want to put boxes full of spiders in stores
[01:55] Romosome: we need more random bugs in our PC aisle
[01:55] Romosome: think about the potential
[01:55] Romosome: "Hey wow is that Team Fortress 2 OH GOD BEES WHAT"
[01:55] Romosome: 1 in 10 lucky buyers receive a swarm of angry hornets

[22:26] Romosome: I suck so bad at Metroid that when I beat the game Samus had a sweater on over her armor.
[22:26] Romosome: And her arms were crossed.

[22:29] Niku: demanding rule /34/ on blue cheergirls x red cheergirls
[22:29] Romosome: Niku the Ouendan cheer girls aren't suitable for fantasies
[22:29] Romosome: because god damn
[22:30] Romosome: they would NEVER SHUT UP during the act
[22:30] Niku: GO
[22:30] Niku: GO
[22:30] Niku: IKUIYO
[22:30] Niku: GO
[22:30] Romosome: I mean like
[22:30] Romosome: you're trying to get off here
[22:30] Romosome: and it's just CLAP CLAP CLAP TWEET TWEET BANG

<constantine> Hmm... now the zerg have mass suicide ground troops as well.
<I`m_the_goddamn_Squizzle> Banelings. :D
<Cannon> Oh, good. We didn't have enough Zerg players already.
<I`m_the_goddamn_Squizzle> I have this intense hope that the Zerg have tons of suicide troops.
<I`m_the_goddamn_Squizzle> Lots and lots of disposable minions.
<Esperath> the zerg are nothing but banelings, infested terrans, and scourges
<Esperath> that's it
<Esperath> the entire race
<Esperath> also
<Esperath> the overlords upgrade to the Hindenburg
<OHakubi> Oh, the humanikekeke!

[2:16] <AFK> Gaia makes 4chan look like an ivory palace where gentlemen of tact and refinement engage in Socratic dialogue about natural philosophy.

<Moctobot> scott kurtz is a fucking toolbox
<Romosome> Scott Kurtz appears to be an entire tool shed

<constantine> Is it just me, or is Geothermal going more and more off the deep end with each post?
<constantine> It's like watching the end of Flowers for Algernon except in this case Charlie was never a genius.

[4:22] <Ral> Fucking hell.
[4:22] <Ral> I'm arguing with someone that books are not interactive.
[4:24] <Zaratustra> if you agree books are not interactive, turn to page 43
[4:24] <Zaratustra> if you don't, turn to page 64

<Xerox> Do you think the FBI will flag me if I look up Nambla on Wikipedia?
<Kayma> They already did when you asked
* FBI has joined #finalfight
<FBI> No we didn't.
* FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

[12:26] <Niku> HI THERE!  WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF POKEMON!
[12:26] <Niku> I'M PROFESSOR NAKED
[12:26] <Niku> FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
[12:26] <Niku> THIS IS A FUCKASAUR

05:33:12am -8(Pacific) * Roger has joined #finalfight
05:33:35am -8(Pacific) * Kayumi replaces Roger's brain with one that actually works
05:34:22am -8(Pacific) * Roger Quit (Quit: )

<+Lyrai> shit
<+Lyrai> quick
<+Lyrai> I need the Bel-air song all on one line
<Dimastines> OK
<+Lyrai> Anyone have it
<Dimastines> LOAF IS IN PANTS NOW WHAT
<+Lyrai> .
<+Lyrai> That is not what I asked for and quite frankly I am slightlyu disturbed you carried out my misinterpreted request so quickly

<Zaratustra> so anyone got a pirate version of harry potter yet
<R^2> No, all I have is the wizard version.

<JD> A cleric in my game could persistant Divine Favor (personal rage), but not Shield of Faith (touch range).
<JD> Not even if he touched himself
<@sei> yeah.
<+Lyrai> Clerics don't touch themselves, they touch others
<+Lyrai> little boys, mostly.
<@sei> god damn it.
<JD> I'd probbaly allow it

<Roger> Hey you know that Dreamwave Pat Lee the guy who made those big bulgey detail laden transformers and eventually had his company go bankrupt when everyone found out he wasn't actually paying his artists?
<Roger> Small quote from an old old interview with him
<Roger> "Do you see anything shady in the way that Transformers comics and
<Roger> cartoons were created in the past, as a vehicle to sell the toys?", Mr. Lee
<Roger> replies: "Well the cartoon was amazing, it was only a matter
<Roger> of time before the toys were made."
<@Cait> ...
<Miniku> ...
* Roger was kicked by Cait (I can't kick him, so you'll stand as proxy.)

<@Romosome> http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/10/opinion/10potter.html?ex=1344484800&en=f3ee206613b091ec&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink Harry Potter and the Waterproof Pearl
<@Romosome> Harry Potter and the Leopard-Walk Up-to-Dragon
<Kisai-> Heard about that on Colbert Report a week ago.
<Vance> Harry Potter and the Vibrating Anal Egg
<OHakubi> Timothy Hunter and the Unusual Case of Mistaken Identity.
<Xerox> Harry Potter and the Pedophile.
<@Romosome> Harry Potter and the Hilarious Misunderstanding
<Doom> Harry Potter and the Less Than Perfect Ending
<Xerox> Harry Potter and the Spoiled Ending.
<Vance> Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
<BongoBill> Harry Potter and the Popular Series of Books.
<BongoBill> Harry Potter and the Harry Potter.
<Vance> Harry Potter and the Vaguely Discworld Derivitave
<Doom> Harry Potter and the Inconsistant System of Magic
<BongoBill> Harry Potter and the Plot Device
<Mr_Saturn> Harry potter and the sapient pearwood trunk
<OHakubi> Harry Potter and the Incorrigible Fandom.
<OHakubi> Along with its sequel, Harry Potter Does Belfast.
<@Romosome> Harry Potter and the Unstoppable Running Gag
<Kisai-> Harry Potter and the IRC Channel
<OHakubi> Harry Potter and the Army of Self-Insertion Characters Lining Up To Snog Him.
<Doom> Harry Potter and the Hi Guys How Are You Doing Tonight?
<BongoBill> perhaps it would be more accurate to say
<Mr_Saturn> Harry Potter and the Massive head injury
<BongoBill> Harry Potter and the Macguffin
<JDigital> Harry Potter and the Hi Doom Not Bad How Abotu You
<Doom> Harry Potter and the I Am OK JD, This Is A Tricky Way To Talk
<Mr_Saturn> Harry potter and the rod of dead horse beating
<Kisai-> Harry Potter and the You Made A Typo
<@Zaratustra> Harry Potter, Agent of SHIELD
* BongoBill (~mark@ip24-56-1-133.ph.ph.cox.net) Quit (Quit: Harry Potter and the Disconnect Message)
<MarsDragon> Harry Potter and the One Year War
<@Zaratustra> Harry Potter Versus Anti Harry Potter
<@Zaratustra> Harry Potter In The Eighth Dimension
<MarsDragon> Harry Potter and the Secret of Gettter Rays
<+Lyrai> Harry Potter and the ehT dnA rettoP yrraH
<Kabbage> Harry Potter and The Phantom Iguana
<Doom> Harry Potter and the Epispode One
<OHakubi> World War Potter.
<JDigital> Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the Recursive Harry Potter and the

[04:42:46] -> Ops #nescience: man, my DM can get really annoying when talking about 2nd
[04:42:53] -> Ops #nescience: i don't want to turn into that WRT 4th
[04:43:24] -> Ops #nescience: BACK IN 3.5 YOU NEEDED TO MAKE A DC 15 Perform(Harlotry) CHECK TO SUCCEED ON GIVING AN ORC A HANDJOB
[04:43:41] -> Ops #nescience: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WENT BACK TO RAW CHARISMA ROLLS THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT
[04:43:42] -norn- was it a DC7 check if it was a half-orc

<@Silversong> You know, I've found that if a person gives me a blank or annoyed look when I use the phrase "like a Kool-Aid man full of awesome," that's not a person I really should bother talking to.

<Aintaer> whatever, politics is not that interesting to me.
<Aintaer> Japanese porn, that is interesting.
<Lee-Ham> it's interesting for a while, but then you realise that basically it just boils down to "everything is fucked, all the time, and it will never improve"
<Aintaer> Lee-Ham: Politics or Japanese porn?
<Lee-Ham> Both

re: sei's p - c = c - s whatever quote.
<+Lyrai> Okay, now with context it makes sense
<+Lyrai> But can you see why it looks so utterly hilariously stupid to an outsider.
<@sei> then applied said algorithm to sirc
<JDigital> haha
<JDigital> How little sleep do you need to have
<@sei> sure, but then again, most nerd shit does
<@sei> thac0 dudes lol
<JDigital> lol
<@sei> okay i am going to roll to grapple the fraggle with my love net

<@Romosome> Lyrai
<@Romosome> do you agree that the term for a scandalous woman should be spelled "ho" and not "hoe"
<+Lyrai> Hoe is what you use in Harvest Moon to make your dirt able to grow crops.
<+Lyrai> Ho is the term.
<@Romosome> Thank you
<+Lyrai> Now if you use a Ho as a Hoe you could probably interchangehtem.
<+Lyrai> But I'm not sure how good a prostitute is at cultivating land for growing crops.
<@Romosome> you can't use a ho as a hoe.
<@Romosome> You can give a ho a hoe, and the ho will hoe the land.
<@Romosome> But the distinction is still clear there.
<+Lyrai> If you have enough upper arm strength you probably could.
<+Lyrai> Hell if you're male and flexible enough you could enjoy the ho as a ho while also enjoying the ho as a hoe.
<+Lyrai> Ho ho ho, how witty.

[103326] <Stush> And the private schools get their own damn firing ranges and pools and commissioned pictures of the fucking queen.
[103336] <Stush> Which cost like $25,000
[103339] <Stush> Or something.
[103340] <Cait> Are the pictures on the firing range?

<Lyrai> Romosome's a fag.
<Romosome> Lyrai, you can say that, but I still won't suck your dick, ok?
<Romosome> Lyrai are you ok
<Lyrai> Romosome - not really. I'm running on one hour of sleep and my eye still hurts
<R^2> You know what'd make you feel better? If Romo sucked your dick.
<Lyrai> I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS TO SUCK
<Kitan> Would you like one?

<Niku> WHO'S THAT FILLING UP THE ATM?
<Niku> WHO'S GIVING NESS SOME CASH AGAIN?
<Niku> WHO LET HIS 10 YEAR OLD HAVE A PIN!?
<Niku> PSYCHIC DAD
<Niku> PSYCHIC DAD
<Niku> PSYCHIC DAD

<+Kazz> i am doctor house.
<+Kazz> i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you.
<+Kazz> there, you're fixed.

<Friday> sei
<Friday> do you have some kind of degenerative disease that affects the brain where when faced with any stimuli you respond with puns
<sei> it's a generative disease, actually.
<Romosome> it's endocrine.
<Romosome> Centered in the puneal gland.
<sei> pineal.
<sei> that's where god talks to descartes.
<sei> woowoowoo
<Fortinbresque> ... ha.
<Romosome> did he just outpun me anyway?
<Romosome> I'm lost

<Brentai> I slept through the Fifth Element because it was too Boron.  *rimshot*
<Aintaer> You're a terrible human being.
<Brentai> ...says the zombie pedophile.
<Aintaer> Which says something about how terrible you are
<Brentai> You got me, Copper.  You get the Gold.  I Zinc I'll play some Smash Bros. now.
<Brentai> Play as Captain Falcon.
<Brentai> So I can get my NEON.
<Brentai> I almost went to AX to play Smash Bros. but I decided it was a Silicon.
<Brentai> So I shook up a bunch of Coke cans and brought my friends to the lobby, and I said, "One the count of three, Sodium."
<Brentai> Man, if I had a Nickel for every cosplayer that whined...
<Aintaer> You can win their hearts with your silver tongue then pound their gullets with your iron fist
<Brentai> I almost did it in one of the booths, but security had the entire Fluoride.
<Aintaer> Not an element.
<Aintaer> I hid from security so when they came looking for me all they said was argon
<Brentai> Don't make me set you on Fire and bury you in the Earth.
<Cait> Water you people going on about now
<Brentai> Aintaer's just a Windbag.
<Aintaer> Tonight, you and iodine.
<Aintaer> Brentai: don't you mean to barium in Earth?
<Brentai> Way to ruin the guffaws for us.
<Brentai> I thought the joke was Gold, but now it's Antimony.
<Aintaer> You were the one who Lead me to believe it was fun to begin with
<Brentai> You were the one that started with Xenon sequitors.
<Brentai> What made you think it was any of your Bismuth?
<Brentai> A Radon China!  They should be scared, we look pretty Strontium.
<Aintaer> Quit being such an arsenic
<Brentai> Sulfur your rebuttal you resort to a Carbon copy gag.  You just hate-Tin.
<Aintaer> I'm remaining germanium to the conversation.  You just don't have the gallium.
<Brentai> ...
<Brentai> No, seriously, it's time to Cesium.

(12:38:22 AM) Kayin: Man. I have a small hole in my boxers and my balls are slooooooowly punishing their way through  and it's very uncomfortable o I mean hi finalfight
(12:38:38 AM) Stush: Half my pants have holes in the crotch. :(
(12:38:56 AM) Kayin: But do your balls fight there way out of them?
(12:38:56 AM) Stush: If the hole was like, on my leg or knee or something, i'd be fine!
(12:38:59 AM) Stush: No.
(12:39:06 AM) Stush: But people might see terrible things.
(12:39:45 AM) Kayin: Like boxers?
(12:39:51 AM) Stush: I don't wear boxers.
(12:40:01 AM) Kayin: COMMANDO?
(12:40:09 AM) Stush: I don't wear commandos.
(12:40:24 AM) Stush: John matrix is too big to fit in my pants.
(12:40:31 AM) Kayin: A good call.
(12:41:48 AM) Dogstar: The last time I went commando I got my wang caught in my zipper.
(12:42:01 AM) Stush: That's because you have a big doodle or a big zipper.
(12:42:27 AM) Kayin: Or a giant zipper and a small doodle.
(12:42:46 AM) Stush: Or a metal doodle and a magnetic zipper.
(12:43:01 AM) BongoBill: An angry, sentient zipper.
(12:43:10 AM) Kayin: How about a magnadoodle?
(12:43:14 AM) Stush: :D
(12:44:14 AM) Rygaron: This conversation reminds me why I don't want to put faces to the names here

<Zaratustra> #  By the third week, sense of smell is well-developed and kitten can see well enough to find her mother.
<Zaratustra> # By the fourth week, sense of smell is fully mature and sense of hearing is well-developed. Kitten starts to interact with littermates and can walk fairly well. Teeth start to come in.
<Zaratustra> # By the fifth week, eyesight is fully mature, and kitten can right herself, run, place her feet precisely, avoid obstacles, stalk and pounce, and catch "prey" with her eyes.
<Stush> The eyes fly out of the skull and fly around, firing lasers at the arwing.

<Kazz> hi
<Kazz> need to come up with a few secret roles for 1921
<Kazz> any thoughts?
<Kazz> i've already come up with the concept of the Secret Public Role
<Kazz> which is a role everyone knows you have but is not described anywhere in the rules
<Kazz> he will probably be named the Hoojaboof
<Cait> And the secret is that he doesn't do anything special, he just gets to wear a derby.
<Kazz> WHY DID YOU MURDER THE HOOJABOOF
<Kazz> NOW APPLES ARE TALL!  ROACHES x2 BONUS TIME


<+notKazz> LD JUST FARTED FOR TEN SECONDS
<+notKazz> NOT KIDDING
<McFrugal> haha
<McFrugal> That's a lot of beans/milk/soda/something
<+notKazz> i thought people only did that after dying

<@Vance> ...the create your own pizza menu at Rocket's website has some sort of easy listening music. No other page, just that one
<Mr_Saturn> would death metal that just screamed PIZZA! over and over be bettter?
<MeshGearFox> what about goth metal with like operatic vocals
<MeshGearFox> In russian
<MeshGearFox> YA YEM PITSU! YA YEM PITSU! YA YEM PITSU! YA YEM PITSU! *SE PHI ROTH*

<Rygaron> "We don't want wild girls, we want real girls gone wild"
<Rygaron> "It's a transition, we want to watch the metamorphosis"
<Silversong> !
<sei> realgirls gone wild?
* Silversong screams, throws the fabric on the floor, and stomps on it
<sei> wow, she's sitting in a chair.
<sei> now she's lying on a bed. so racy!
<Silversong> Spider
<sei> now she's packed up in a closet and forgotten
<Cait> There, Ryg. Silver's gone wild.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 15, 2009, 09:08:28 PM
<Fortinbras> I just said dickhole out loud, and my voice went up at the end like it was a question
<Fortinbras> and my roommate walked by and said "sure!"
<+Kayumi> Suggestion: Kill your roommate or escape.

<Lyrai> 13. [Pok?mon]?Hey?Roger, Who?is?Pokemon?#399,?According?to?the National?Dex?
<Lyrai> Here's your 1st hint: #i####
<Lyrai> Here's your 2nd hint: B##o##
<Kayumi> DO
<Kayumi> NOT
<Kayumi> SAY
<Kayumi> BIDOOF
<Lyrai> Kayumi got the answer: Bidoof in 47.907 seconds. Points: 2 Rank: 81st
<Lyrai> HA.
<Kayumi> ...
<Kayumi> God damn it

<Cait> Pony!
<Cait> Bad pony >:(
<AFK|> The story of Cait's life.

[14:07:42] <+lady_duke> oh myew, you're so awesome :3
[14:07:48] <myew> Why is it still talking?

<Zaratustar> 300 million conversations have now been indexed by the company. The most popular networks, including EFnet, DALnet, Freenode and QuakeNetUndernet, are all being monitored - IRSeeK is now 'listening' to 2000+ channels across 10 networks.
<Zaratustar> The company says a channel is dropped when file sharing activity is detected and private conversations are not eavesdropped in anyway.
<Squizzle> They probably just have a bot sitting in large channels.
<McFrugal> Okay so I'm guessing they look for those bot triggers?
<Zaratustar> They have human-like nicks, connect via anonymous Tor nodes and authenticate as mIRC clients.
<MarsDragon> New rule: If they can't pass the Turing Test they don't get in
* Lyrai was kicked by Squizzle (Better to be safe.)


* Silversong has joined #finalfight
<R^2> A Silversong approaches! Command?
<Aintaer> > steal silversong
<R^2> D - the rustproof +3 Silversong.
<Aintaer> E - What do you want to engrave with? (D *?)
<R^2> You cover your Silversong in a thick layer of grease.
<MadMAxJr> When did this become ecchihack?
<R^2> When Silversong shrieks, there is a 1/13 chance that a random monster appears somewhere on the level. There is a 1/10 chance this monster is a Brentai.
<Silversong> It's true.

shortly...

* Silversong shrieks
* Brentai has joined #finalfight
<Zaratustra> OH MY GOD IT'S A GOST
<R^2> Brentai's ghost touches you! D:
<Silversong> Brentai's ghost touches you _inappropriately_.
<Aintaer> Is there any other way?

<MadMAxJr> At this rate of mining the past for movie ideas, we're gonna go back to black and white film.
<Lyrai> Coming Soon
<MadMAxJr> Quentin Tarintinos: Casablanca
<Lyrai> The story of one man...and his desire to sail the waters.
<Arcturus> ...this is good curry
<Lyrai> The Wachowski Siblings Present:
<Arcturus> one spoonful and I can't feel my tongue
<Lyrai> Steamboat Willie
<Cait> ..
<Lyrai> Rated PG-13
<MadMAxJr> John Carpenters: Gone With the Wind
* Lyrai was kicked by Cait (Out. Get out now.)

<Kayumi> huh. Cyclops uses a macintosh.
<BongoBill> PRODUCT PLACEMENT
<Miniku> of course he does
<Miniku> he's only got one i
<Miniku> i'll be going now

<@Vance> Tonight's bathroom karaoke, named of course in honor of the fact that I hear them VERY clearly through the shitter wall when I'm in the back of the store, is somebody singing Rape Me
<@Vance> Very badly.
<Xerox> Burst through the wall!
<@Vance> OHHHH NO
<Xerox> Wearing nothing but a codpiece, and shout "Your wish is my command!"
<@Vance> DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA (Batman tv theme) RAPE MAAAAAN
<Xerox> Alternatively, bang loudly and give requests.

<OHakubi> I'd hate to work with Phanto.  He'd be all, "hey, could you pick up that box and bring it over here for me?" and you'd be all "okay" and pick it up, only his keys are inside and he just fucking TACKLES you across the damn room.

[12:45] <Cappy> 23. [Melty Blood] What is Arcueid's Arc Drive when Heat or Blood Heat is invoked?
[12:45] <lady_duke> wtf is melty blood
[12:45] <Cappy> lady_duke got the answer: Melty Blood in 6.546 seconds. Points: 7 Rank: 65th

<Toshiaki> I don't think Sakurai can go that long without confirming things
<Toshiaki> He's just going to walk around his house confirming random shit
<Toshiaki> <Sakurai> Wh... what's this? They're peppers. Delicious peppers! They come in lots of colors... So many to choose from! PEPPERS CONFIRMED FOR DINNER.

<Miniku> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/9/2008/01/thumb463x_dbzmex2.jpg
<Stush> That guy is totally taking a photo of his foot.
<Stush> What a champ.
<Drethelin> what's the point of that image
<Niku> That is an on-set image of the Dragon Ball Z Movie.
<Stush> Niku, don't lie.
<ThoughtBandit> It's some kind of car foot fetish documentary.
<Stush> They're all wearing shirts.
<Stush> And there's no grunting or bulging going on.
<Drethelin> why is there a car in it
<Stush> The only thing that that image has to do with dragonball z is that it's not moving.

Testing a random kicking script. First use:

<+Lyrai> Vance! I made one
<+Lyrai> Would you like it.
* Vance sets mode: +o Lyrai
<@Vance> Try it out
* You were kicked from #finalfight by Lyrai (BOOM!)
* Rejoined channel #finalfight
* Topic is 'We'll send them cheesy games, the worst we can find. They'll have to sit and play them all, then we'll monitor their minds.'
* Set by Zaratustra on Thu Jan 10 22:27:26
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Lyrai
<+Lyrai> ....thank you, Captain Irony.
<+Stush> :D
<@Vance> Hahaha
* Niku price is right failure noise

<@Vance> Awesome
<Niku> now give it a trigger
<@Lyrai> All those who see the inherent danger of making a trigger that kicks a random person, raise your hand.
* @Lyrai handraise
<@Vance> Yeah, exactly
<@Lyrai> All those who are tempted to let it go through anyway through the sheer amusement of it, raise your foot.
* @Vance raises hand and has a boner
<@Lyrai> ..
<@Lyrai> I said foot.
<MetalSlime> That IS his foot
* Niku plays a rimshot for MetalSlime


[120106] <Vance> So if I were to bone the florist's daughter, would flowers be expected?
[120141] <Zaratustra> I'm fairly sure flowers don't come out of girls when they orgasm no matter their parent's profession

MINUTES OF LIVELY CONVERSATION PASS.

[120340] <Zaratustra> OH vance wants to know if he should send flowers to the girl
[120344] <Zaratustra> not if they come out of the girl


<Fredward> Someone, somewhere, has their bank account security question as "What is a man?".
<+Drethelin> I do really fucking hate having to make up answers
<+Drethelin> last time I tried to access my bank account online I couldn't get in due to forgetting what answer I'd made up for a bullshit question
<Xerox> I usually do something like Question: "Can you mash your keyboard?" Answer: "ahdsfoiwhtebgfuaebiuygber"
<McFrugal> hehe
<+Drethelin> they didn't let me make my own questions
<+Drethelin> one of them was "what's the name of your firstborn"
<+Drethelin> obviously have no child
<Xerox> "Satan".
<+Lyrai> I do that always with my Car Insurance password. Make up some question, forget it a month later
<+Lyrai> Last month, I went through the forgot password thing.
<+Lyrai> Look at the password hint
<+Lyrai> It was a Youtube URL.
<+Lyrai> So I copypaste it.
<+Lyrai> ...
<JDigital> ahaha
<+Lyrai> I rickrolled myself.

<TedBelmont> I'M DRUNK

<Niku> spectacular spider-man has the most horrific transformations ever for a saturday morning cartoon
<Niku> like every single time
<+TedBelmont> You know who else has horrific transformations
<+TedBelmont> YOUR MOTHER
<+TedBelmont> !zing
<+Cappy> ZING!
<Niku> nah, she's pretty much horrific 24/7
<+TedBelmont> Wow, I'm surpruiesed I mananged to type that all out corrctly

<OHakubi> Who needs intellectualism when you have the entire script to Xenogears on your hard drive?

Friday: dork mating rituals are as follows
Friday: "hey"
Friday: "hey"
Friday: "i heard you liked pokemon"
Friday: "wanna see mine"
Friday: "yeah"
Romosome: my charisma's an entire prestige class
Vance: "Wanna pet my pikachu?"
Romosome: would you like to take levels in it
Friday: "ok heres my pokemons"
Kazz: friday
Friday: "oh hey those are pretty neat"
Kazz: i told you to STOP SPYING ON ME
Romosome: :D
Friday: "want to get coffee"
Friday: "sure"
Friday: 3 days later
Friday: "I FUCKING TOLD YOU BEFORE, YOU HAVE TO GET THE FUCKING EARTH STONE FIRST"
Roger: :3
Friday: "FUCK YOU YOU TOLD ME I ALREADY HAD IT"
Friday: "LISTEN THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT"
Romosome: nah
Romosome: honestly
Vance: Hey Friday
Romosome: well maybe I'm wrong nevermind
Friday: my point was dork mating rituals are using about video games and then they break up over fetch quests
Friday: it's really not funny at all
Roger: Fridays cannot pass over running water
Vance: Come over. I have candles and heated body oils. And. Uh. I have pokemon, but they're at the store.
Friday: sure ok Vance
Vance: Like a pikachu and a meowth
Friday: But only if you promise not to hit me anymore
Roger: FRIDAY IS A SLOOOOT FOR A GUY WHO KNOWS HOW TO GIVE MAHSAUGE
Friday: Roger
Vance: Baby you know it's because I care about you but you talk talk talk sometimes
Roger: Okay that's any woman :3
Friday: Roger
Kazz: ok so
Friday: Let's play act
Friday: I'm gonna be the man
Friday: and you're gonna be the nerdgirl
Friday: Kazz what
Kazz: idk
Roger: I AM ALWAYS TYPECAST AS THE NERDGIRL
*** Roger is now known as Rogerette.
Kazz: roger that's impossible
Friday: ok shit I need a manly name
Kazz: i've seen your erection
*** Friday is now known as BORKCHOPS.
Kazz: it was gross
BORKCHOPS: Ok Honey
Kazz: borkchops is pretty manly
BORKCHOPS: I need you to lay down in front of this hellgorge
Rogerette: I'd sleep with a guy named Borkchops
BORKCHOPS: Honey listen
BORKCHOPS: we can gab later
BORKCHOPS: I'm on a tight schedule
BORKCHOPS: so
BORKCHOPS: if you please
Kazz: CUT
Kazz: stop stop stop
Kazz: borkchops
Kazz: you are being far too polite
Kazz: take it from the top
* BORKCHOPS kills Kazz
Romosome: is it MANLY HOUR
*** Romosome is now known as Romosome_Manly.
*** BORKCHOPS is now known as Friday.
Friday: I'm too tired to be whacky

*Shortly thereafter*

* Rogerette turns her head, glasses having to be pushed back up her face slightly. She brushes some stray hairs away and smiles that goofy grin she's infamous for. Her arms cross over her overdeveloped chest, the downplaying job the sweater is supposed to do ultimately failing. Denim jeans hug her legs, and her shoes are simple all-purpose affairs. She clutches a bag of manga and model kits, fresh on the way to her D
Rogerette: I mean
Kazz: OH GOD
Romosome: only to show me I'm better tthOH MY GOD
* Rogerette :3
Kazz: I
* Romosome hides behind Kazz
Kazz: I HAVE TO GO
Romosome: NO YOU FOOL
Romosome: YOU'RE SHIELDING ME FROM IT
Kazz: IT'S TOO
Romosome: fuck I just looked at it again AUGH
Romosome: FRIDAY HELP
Kazz: I'll have to counteract it
Romosome: Vance you've got to throw the switch
Romosome: seal us off it's the only way
Romosome: do it
Vance: Sorry, busy.
Vance: I'll get to it later, or Roger can do it
Rogerette: Vance is a cruel and vengeful god.
Vance: Roger can you handle it for me please?
Friday: hahaha
Friday: I think Roger just won #ff
* Kazz clutches his raging erection, pounding it furiously with both fists until a mixture of semen and blood erupts forth in a vicious, chunky spray. He falls backward, panting, then grabs a fistful of chest hair and tears it out to calm his nerves. Rolling onto his back, he opens his mouth, and uses his foot to kick a cow so hard that it becomes several steaks, which soar into his mouth in a shower of gore.

<Suibeom> Brass instruments are incredibly weird.
<Aintaer> They make sound.
<Suibeom> It's easier to makes sound with strings. Or even reeds.
<Suibeom> Brass instruments make sound with your face
<Aintaer> Suibeom: it's easier to make sounds with your ass.
<Aintaer> Kabbage's ass, most specifically, there being an ample supply of it.
<Suibeom> More ass means more sound.
<Joxam> its a cleaner sound
<Joxam> Not really more, just more range.
<Joxam> with a well defined tone.
<Suibeom> Joxam are you talking about brass or ass?
<Joxam> ...
<Joxam> I'm not sure

<Kayin> Okay. Seriously. I was just jerking off to a 3d porn game and at the moment of my own orgasm, my computer crashes with crazy heat sirens. It was incredible.

[161211] <Friday> Messing with Romo is like shooting fish in a barrel and the fish are on fire
[161218] <Friday> You just point and go
[161221] <Friday> "ELEPHANT!"
[161234] <Friday> and he starts chasing his tail like some kind of mentally damaged puppy
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on June 16, 2009, 06:33:13 PM
<+DarkSchneider> yeah?
<+DarkSchneider> That's what you get for watching eva again, is aaaaaaagh.
<+Popoie> Hey, Kayumi, be nicer
<+Popoie> It appears that for dohl, EVA..
* +Popoie shades.
<+Popoie> Hit a nerv.
<+Popoie> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on June 17, 2009, 04:12:51 PM
Quote from: Anonymous 06/17/09(Wed)19:46 No.9996695
i like to jack my cock off to boobs and porn
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on June 26, 2009, 09:53:51 AM
<Envy> Stush: I hate you for that.


Truly, who can love a man who can not love his Stush?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 10:19:56 AM
<Niku> ranma 1/2 could have been the greatest show in the history of the planet
<Niku> but then akane cut her hair

the fastest and most accurate analysis of the series I have ever seen
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on July 06, 2009, 10:44:28 AM
From a blogger, Joe B's twitter:

Melanie: "don't you just hate it when your life is most accurately described by a mr. t experience song? ...and then the katamari damacy soundtrack?"

Joe: "The version of the Katamari theme that's all cats and dogs sings the lives of our entire generation. It's hardly your fault."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 06, 2009, 08:07:24 PM
Quoting yourself is a sin!

<TedBelmont> This morning, in #finalfight, someone said something about John Hancock inventing the signature
<TedBelmont> And it's times like this I wish I could draw
<TedBelmont> Because I had the most horrible idea ever
<TedBelmont> STEPHEN SEAGAL IS
<TedBelmont> JOHN HANCOCK
<TedBelmont> IN
<TedBelmont> THE SIGNATURE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 08, 2009, 03:13:01 PM
"Not every town gets their song. Actually, Sinatra tried to do a song about Los Angeles. It was really lame. Really lame. It embarrassed the shit out of me." (http://beck.com/irrelevant_topics) -Tom Waits
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 08, 2009, 05:51:47 PM
Ohhhhh don't you believe that LA didn't get it's song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e41ygKJ3ABk&videos=-7Ypf2ePLlw&playnext_from=TL&playnext=1

(FYI, full version is more than twice as long)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on July 08, 2009, 07:53:41 PM
Supposedly, this song is also about LA as well. It's also my favorite 80's song that no one has heard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0IyEeWOyUM
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fortinbras on July 08, 2009, 08:52:57 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lpxPUbn8y8
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fortinbras on July 08, 2009, 11:13:39 PM
Alternately, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Hot_Chili_Peppers)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 09, 2009, 03:17:49 AM
LOL, they did come to mind. But I preferred the comedy option.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on July 14, 2009, 05:58:14 PM
I'm totally on the ball here. (http://www.last.fm/music/Subtle/_/I+Heart+L.A.) (All the Utoobs were crappy lives versions.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Metal Slime on July 17, 2009, 06:31:57 PM
[22:25] OHakubi: Oh, speaking of bullshit decisions... Infamous.
[22:25] OHakubi: There's one point in the game where the villain has half a dozen doctors hanging off of one roof and your girlfriend hanging off the other and you only have time to save one group.
[22:26] MetalSlime: Fuck'em both
[22:26] MetalSlime: They all die
[22:26] OHakubi: Same as Spider-Man, right?  Well, here's the thing: If you save the doctors... your girlfriend dies.  The winch thing breaks, she falls.
[22:27] OHakubi: Thereby showing that your girlfriend is the one up on that roof.  BUT!  If you go to save your girlfriend, it's not actually her, and she's revealed to be with the doctors.
[22:27] Aesir: ... wat.
[22:27] Aesir: What.
[22:28] Aesir: WHAT.
[22:28] MetalSlime: TROLLIN'
[22:28] OHakubi: So no matter which you choose, your girlfriend will always be the in the group you didn't choose!
[22:28] Aesir: Are you fucking kidding me?!
[22:28] Aesir: You can't do that!
[22:28] OHakubi: It's Schrodinger Girlfriend!
[22:28] MetalSlime: Dohohoho
[22:28] MetalSlime: Genius!
[22:28] Aesir: YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
[22:28] Aesir: IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
[22:28] Aesir: GODDAMNIT
[22:29] * Aesir froths
[22:29] OHakubi: I know!  I saw the hero version of it, then went to watch the villain version and immediately went "OH THIS IS BULLSHIIIIIIIIIT"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on July 17, 2009, 08:37:46 PM
Even if it ends up not being your girlfriend that you saved, can you still fuck her?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on July 17, 2009, 08:51:35 PM
"We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket."  - Frank Sobotka, the Wire
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on July 18, 2009, 12:45:03 AM
 :painful: oh frank
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on July 18, 2009, 01:22:59 AM
[02:21] <Stush> Australia is weird
[02:21] <Stush> We have vegemite and stuff, but we also have box jellyfish.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on July 18, 2009, 01:47:35 AM
What do you mean "but"? The conjunction you're looking for is "and".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on July 18, 2009, 02:14:37 AM
What do you mean "but"? The conjunction you're looking for is "CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS CANE TOADS".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on July 18, 2009, 02:42:23 AM
sei i do not get your context here
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on July 21, 2009, 07:27:34 AM
<+drethelin> niku I am watching children of the earth and I keep expecting the doctor to show up
<Niku> i watch a lot of things and hope the doctor shows up
<Niku> imagine how good law and order would be
<A_race_of_savage_mushroom-men> Which Doctor?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on July 22, 2009, 09:30:01 PM
<Frocto> once upon a time there was a pink dragon named Yvonne
<Frocto> and an orange dragon named Alex who was trying to sleep
<Frocto> so she went up to his bed and went MGRMNGOMOGMOGRMNOMORMNNORMNOMRNOMRGN and woke him up and they eat cake
<+lady_duke> thats so close to reality its scary
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on July 25, 2009, 09:41:47 PM
[13:40] Frocto: rygaron: ddd.youtube.com/watch?v=w-ChkbJBB2o
[13:40] melonhead: Let's Play Let's Play Making Game Episode 1 (6:13) [23.Jul.2009] Rating: 5.00 (I will probably add things here as I remember them)
[13:40] Rygaron: Melon, I've done everything he said to do.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on July 28, 2009, 08:22:37 PM
<[bot]> Who is the least important god/goddess in Japanese culture?
<AoiYamoto1> Godzilla.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on July 31, 2009, 02:38:14 PM
"Who the hell says... nine-to-five is normal, anyway?  ... betcha Dracula doesn't think that..."

- Captain Sig Hansen, after 28 hours awake
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on August 01, 2009, 10:26:28 PM
<Zaratustra> princess rescuer's a good job, mate. Challenging work, outta doors.
<BongoBill> I guarantee you'll not go 'ungry, 'cos at the end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, somebody's gonna be in another castle.
<Brentai> No I'm not a crazed Jumpman, Dad, I'm a sidescrolling hero!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 07, 2009, 12:00:39 PM
Quote
Signs of evil -  “It took a seven-year-old to tell us what it was. We thought it was just some type of new tagger.” Jeff Sutter, captain of the Wauwasota, Wis., police department, after a Harry Potter fan vandalized 80 traffic signs to make them read, ‘Stop Voldemort’
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 14, 2009, 10:39:29 AM
Quote
No-fly zone - “He asked how I would like to pay for it. And I said, ‘How would you like to pay me to do it?’ And we didn’t talk any more about that. That shut him up.” Actor William Shatner describes how he declined an offer by Sir Richard Branson to go on a trip into space.

Oh Bill
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 14, 2009, 10:52:15 AM
He wields that self-importance like a deadly weapon.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fredward on August 14, 2009, 11:00:02 AM
It makes me proud to attend his alma mater. *sniff*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on August 14, 2009, 02:32:21 PM
Fine guess I'll ask Patrick Stewart instead
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on August 26, 2009, 10:57:52 AM
Romosome: I find it disappointing that 4e has chosen to represent the millions of tiny crab monsters infesting Brentai's cock as just combat fodder rather than fleshing out their diverse and compelling culture and social habits
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on August 26, 2009, 01:26:39 PM
it is a large shift from the complex murloc culture of MURGLAGHALAGHALURGHA
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 27, 2009, 08:26:24 PM
<Lee-Ham> so Friday did you want to ask me something?
<Lee-Ham> or were you just invoking my name to give me power
<@Friday> Lee-Ham
<@Friday> I wanted you to fly me
<@Friday> I was flirting
<@Friday> in an internet chat room
<Lee-Ham> damn
<@Friday> observe
<@Friday> ROMO
<@Friday> FUCK ME NOW
<@Friday> ZARA
<@Friday> FUCK ROMO NOW
<@Friday> BRENTAI
<@Friday> JOIN THE CHANNEL
* Lee-Ham climbs inside Friday's cockpit
<@Romosome> what
* @Romosome fucks Zara
<@Romosome> oops
* Lee-Ham grabs the throttle
* Lee-Ham does a barrel roll
<@Friday> oh god
<@Friday> not a
<@Friday> barrel roll
* @Friday deflects all incoming lasers
* Lee-Ham can't find the G-diffuser
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on August 29, 2009, 01:55:03 AM
(2:39:08 AM) Feel the Cosmos: welcome to RAP CITY
(2:39:16 AM) Feel the Cosmos: where RAPS roam the streets
(2:39:22 AM) Feel the Cosmos: and beats lurk in gutters
(2:39:31 AM) Feel the Cosmos: MCs wander the land
(2:39:40 AM) Feel the Cosmos: DJs live in yurts
(2:39:49 AM) Feel the Cosmos: ...
(2:50:40 AM) Feel the Cosmos has signed off.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 29, 2009, 04:09:07 PM
<@Romosome> no I like this guy's suggestion better
<@Romosome> "
<@Romosome> save taxpayers money and just shoot them on the side of the road."
<@Romosome> it's budget efficient
<Lee-Ham> who is going to pay for the bullets smart guy
<@Romosome> their FAMILY
<Lee-Ham> and also you'd need construction of corpse ditches along the side of every highway
<JDigital> sponsorship deals
<@Romosome> sponsorship
<@Romosome> THIS EXECUTION BROUGHT TO YOU BY MTN DEW
<Lee-Ham> DEW OR DIE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 30, 2009, 04:48:46 AM
Quote
She’d just learned about the anatomical differences between boys and girls, and said in a thoughtful voice “I think I know why boys have those…things. They’re for balance.” When questioned about this she said “Well, if you kick them there they fall down.”
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on August 30, 2009, 03:42:29 PM
<+lady_duke> im more allergic to a lot of fruits
<+lady_duke> and onions
<+lady_duke> and milk
<[bot]> LD are you an alien to this planet?
<+lady_duke> haha, nah
<[bot]> uhu how's mars
<MarsDragon> I'm good
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 01, 2009, 01:15:26 PM
From... someplace or other complaining about another fool decison by a random company.

Quote from: SomeGuy
They will lose ~12000 customers for all future games.

Our emails will blot out their inboxes?
Quote from: SomeOtherGuy
Then we shall fight in the spam.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 09, 2009, 01:01:32 AM
I HAVE ENCAPSULATED ELOH

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS QUOTE WAS ENTIRELY WITHOUT CONTEXT I AM NOT LEAVING ANY OUT

<e-low> you guys ever notice how krumm from aaah real monsters looks like a nutsack
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on September 13, 2009, 03:40:59 AM
<+Kazz> hey guys
<+Kazz> i'm gonna turn on my speech recognizer
<+Kazz> I hire us do in
<+Kazz> I'm doing pretty good today
<+Popoie> how now brown cow
<+Popoie> Kazz
<+Kazz> I just made a new lets fly
<+Kazz> It's all clothing right now
<+Popoie> You need to pick a song, and then sing it into the mic.
<+Popoie> And then hit enter.
<+Kazz> Lining to the Moon and let me play among those stars
<+Kazz> Let me see what spring use lie down on Jupiter and Mars
<+Kazz> In other words hold nine and
<+Kazz> You know there were affected in darling choose mainly
<+Kazz> Though my heart with its own and let me as saying for a Vermeulen
<+Kazz> You are a long long for all other worship Ventura boulevard
<+Kazz> In other warrants please be true
<+Kazz> In other words I'm the only new
<+Kazz> Thank you
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 13, 2009, 11:31:14 AM
<Moebius> Kayumi is hacking like ln(5) gibsons at once.
<Monster_Haintaer> wait
<Monster_Haintaer> ln(5) isn't a big number
<Moebius> Hacking the gibsons is an extreme act Haintaer.
<Cait> That was the joke.
<Monster_Haintaer> But he's using THREE COMPUTERS
<Ridley> HACK THE PLANET
<Moebius> I think you aren't getting the idea of EXTREME here.
* Vance blows up
<Moebius> VANCE HAS GOT IT
<Vance> Fuck you
* Moebius ramps Cait and flies through a plate glass window on fire
* Vance fires Moebius through two flaming hoops, a lion cage, and a city bus before he flies into... HISTORY
* Moebius is remembered by two famous photos; High-fiving the lion as he passed through its cage on that fateful day, and a split second after landing on President Taft
<Vance> Good job it was Taft. More padding for the landing
<Moebius> Unfortunately at the time he was introducing his initiative against time travelers, which won him three terms in office after the incident
<Moebius> He was seen as a role model for proud Americans and in the modern day the country suffers from an epidemic of obesity, diabetes and general poor nutrition
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 16, 2009, 03:31:28 AM
* +Kazz falls to his knees
<+Kazz> i.. i've failed
* +Kazz buries his face in Friday's crotch, sobbing
<@Friday> careful, kazz. you'll trigger the venus-reflex.
<+Kazz> it's fine
<+Kazz> i don't want to live anymore anyway
<@Friday> THEN EXPERIENCE UN-LIFE IN MY UN-WOMB
<+Kazz> EEP
* @Friday unbirths Kazz
<Stush> D:
* +Kazz gives a thumbs-up as he slowly recedes into the vulva
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on September 16, 2009, 06:17:37 AM
 :wat:
:barf:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 16, 2009, 07:45:12 AM
[11:43] <+Ridley> Go Vance!  We knew you could do it.
[11:43] <Kitan> what did he win
[11:43] <+Ridley> A NEW CAR!
[11:43] <+Ridley> A TRIP TO DISNEYLAND!
[11:43] <+Ridley> THE SUPERBOWL!
[11:43] <Kitan> i guess that means he doesn't need the old one
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 20, 2009, 07:13:43 PM
[23:12] <McDohl> JOXAM
[23:12] <McDohl> Why do you love me?  I want to know what I did so I can try it on a woman this time
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 21, 2009, 01:16:28 AM
<Brentai> ...why do the boards have a new member named Asuka Langley?
<ARadioactiveBeartato> Because Asuka was the only suitable pilot that can sync with the Worst Forums EVA
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Walker on September 21, 2009, 04:50:46 AM
Friday, I think that's the worst quote in this thread now.   :perfect:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 21, 2009, 05:21:38 AM
Would you say that it's the worst quote... EVA? :whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 21, 2009, 12:44:13 PM
[16:31] <Brentai> O-kay.  Who wants to help me with work stuff for a moment?
[16:31] <Zararara> I guess I could
[16:32] <melonhead> I try not to do any work during the workday
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on September 21, 2009, 02:04:40 PM
Would you say that it's the worst quote... EVA? :whoops:
(http://www.maximumeyewear.com/productfolder/celebrity-sunglasses/movie-sunglasses/csi-miami-horatio-sunglasses/csi-miami-horatio-caine-sunglasses.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Metal Slime on September 21, 2009, 02:08:09 PM
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! :8D:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 23, 2009, 01:11:50 AM
Apologies if I am the only person who finds this level of retardation humourous.

<Frocto> basically eloh is demanding I lp something for him and being a jerk about it and I am asking him if he will watch the videos and he is trying to prove to me he will by MAKING UP THINGS he loved about my other videos. Like he could trick me or something
<e-low> what the fuck

<Frocto> eloh, if you feel confident answering, I could ask you a question about the second episode
<Frocto> so you can show me up with your vast knowledge of my lps
<e-low> what fucking 2nd episode
<e-low> you got to the end of evo ep 1
<e-low> and said somethign like
<e-low> you should justfucking play it
<e-low> and i did

<Frocto> okay, I just rewatched it and I don't say that
<e-low> uh wtf
<e-low> well then i watch your lets plays while not listening
<e-low> because your voice is abrasive like julia childs
<Frocto> so why did you want me to play snoopy again
<e-low> because i watch yur lets play
<e-low> s
<e-low> and brentai seconded it
<e-low> as an awesome game
<e-low> its not a god damn prank troll suggestion
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 23, 2009, 03:15:14 AM
Would you rather I played it?  I totally will.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 23, 2009, 04:01:13 AM
* Kitan (takeit@ip68-1-155-191.mc.at.cox.net) has joined #finalfight
<Kitan> chicken wings
<Kitan> for breakfast
<Kitan> TAKE IT YOU BITCH
<MetalBear> Okay.
* MetalBear is now known as Brentai
<Kitan> whats the first thing
<Kitan> you do when you wake up
<Brentai> Your mom.
<Kitan> shut up dad
* Brentai smokes his pipe and smiles.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 28, 2009, 12:10:46 PM
[13:08] * Brentai rocks out.
[13:08] * Friday rolls out.
[13:09] * Doomykins narrows his eyes while slowly chewing a banana to a halt.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 02, 2009, 06:04:53 AM
Quote
Think Hannah Montana on wheels, with sex and violence.

From a movie review of "Whip It".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on October 03, 2009, 09:32:45 AM
Quote
The default Jesus miracle is casting out demons, pretty much. You would think that raising the recently deceased would have been more popular, but no. If Jesus had a business card it would say FREELANCE EXORCIST, with Alternative Skincare - Light Necromancy - Events Catered - Sins Forgiven in smaller text beneath.

From Sam Kabo Ashwell (http://maga-dogg.livejournal.com/344553.html?#cutid1).
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 09, 2009, 06:28:51 PM
<+BongoBill> Stush, are you a member of hat club?
<Stush> Yes
<Stush> A card-carrying member.
<Stush> LASER CARD
* Stush cuts bongo's hand off.
<Stush> HYAH
<+BongoBill> Wat dd  d tat fr
<+BongoBill> w ct te
<Stush> A Stush's love is hard to understand at times.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 11, 2009, 04:49:29 PM
<@Friday> Frocto: how old is she?
<Frocto> haha
<Frocto> a bit older than me
<Frocto> 35 :3
<Frocto> it's kitan's fault for not putting out all those times
<@Friday> 35 damn
<@Friday> how old are you?
<Frocto> 24 :o
<Frocto> oh sorry I mispressed
<Kayin1> Experience!
<Frocto> I meant to say 14
<@Friday> hahaha oh man she's like me
<@Friday> likes younger guys
<Kayin1> She wants you to be her shota
<Frocto> if she calls me mommy I will probably love her forever
<Frocto> uh
<Frocto> you know what I mean
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on October 17, 2009, 04:56:28 PM
[17:49]   <Cait>   http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/post/212954411/el-nino-ground-beef-sauteed-onions-sour-cream - This is scary.
[17:52]   <Cait>   ...Alright I'm done with this.
[17:53]   <Cait>   Chicks With Dicks Sandwich: A hot dog, topped with cheese, mustard, ketchup and chicken nuggets.
[17:53]   <Romosome>   Very few of that is foodporn anymore
[17:53]   <Romosome>   most of it is some kind of kitchen arms race
[17:53]   <Romosome>   to see who can be more obscene
[17:53]   <Cait>   Sure it is. It's just German foodporn.
[17:54]   <Cait>   "Velveeta Fudge Squares" - Case in goddamn point.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on October 17, 2009, 10:13:03 PM
Quote
Blowjob is just another word for "Thank you"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on October 20, 2009, 07:34:18 PM
[11:30] soracross: Frocto, you ever think about starting your own forums? The worst forums ever is a sinking ship, you know? Soon it'll be dead just like Pyoko :( You should start your own forums. You should be the one whose forums everyone goes too, not Sharkey. You're funnier than he ever was. Just a thought. What do you think?
[11:31] Frocto: I think you're insane
[11:33] soracross: Yeah, forum management and webhosting would be a bit of a pain in the ass, huh? Well... Ever think about joining the Turquoise Grotto?
[11:33] Frocto: No thanks!
[11:33] soracross: LoL

after that, it said "Soracross is typing a new message..." a few times, then went blank.

Seriously, though, Worst Froctos Ever. Keep an eye out, Froctopi. ;)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 20, 2009, 09:39:38 PM
more like

FROCTOPOLIS
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 20, 2009, 09:39:55 PM
http://www.nikumatic.com/froctopolis/ is available just saying
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 22, 2009, 07:15:18 PM
<Frocto> wow is stupid
<melonhead> your hat is stupid
<Frocto> at least my hat doesn't have 12 million subscribers
<MetalSlime> No
<MetalSlime> But your mom does
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on October 23, 2009, 03:50:48 AM
He deserved a standing ovation for that one
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 24, 2009, 08:39:04 AM
Quote
Language of love:

“You know, Gordon, I should not like you. You are Scottish … and you are an economist. But somehow, Gordon, I love you. But not in a sexual way.”

- French President Nicolas Sarkozy is quoted as telling British Prime Minister Gordon Brown during the height of the economic crisis that he has a warm regard for him.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 24, 2009, 12:02:51 PM
Quote from: C.S. Lewis
Critics who treat "adult" as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adults themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence.... When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on October 24, 2009, 12:20:21 PM
Pfft. That line of thinking is puerile.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 03, 2009, 06:51:36 AM
I was reading an article in the Report on Business this morning about Berkshire-Hathaway purchasing the Burlington & Northern railroad. Some cheeky newspaperman decided to run this image (http://beta.images.theglobeandmail.com/archive/00313/thomas_313143gm-c.jpg) with the article, which resulted in the following amusing comment:

Quote
I liked that photo of Thomas the Tank Engine. I guess that shares of the Island of Sodor's Railroad (TSX:ISRR - +9.2%) will skyrocket now that this corporation is next on the line for Warren Buffett. There are rumors of secret talks between Berkshire and the CEO of ISRR, Sir Topham Hatt.

:lol:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on November 10, 2009, 11:40:37 AM
[03:36] Frocto: do you actually play the touhou games
[03:36] Frocto: how are they
[03:36] laserbeing: I like them but I suck a lot
[03:36] Frocto: I downloaded one once and couldn't get it work. Cool story, huh
[03:37] Frocto: and CENSORED said if I ever lped one, she'd kill me
[03:37] Frocto: also CENSORED turned out to be a guy lol
[03:37] laserbeing: ha
[03:37] Frocto: I hate the ones who keep it a secret for YEARS
[03:37] laserbeing: frocto
[03:37] laserbeing: I haven't been totally honest with you
[03:38] Frocto: omg
[03:38] Frocto: are you
[03:38] Frocto: a cocker spaniel
[03:38] laserbeing: yes
[03:38] Frocto: shit
[03:38] Frocto: I was hoping you'd be a huge breasted amazon
[03:38] Frocto: well that's okay
[03:38] Frocto: c'mon let's go walkies
[03:39] laserbeing: :P
[03:39] laserbeing: :D
[03:39] laserbeing: :P
[03:39] laserbeing: :D
[03:39] laserbeing: :P
[03:39] Frocto: hahaha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 10, 2009, 05:01:24 PM
Quote from: /tg/
Imagine if you will, that the Earth is a Petri dish. That petri dish is under a microscope, which is on a table at a swingers party. All the people at said party are outer gods and old ones mulling about, getting smashed and fucking. Amidst all these activities the petri dish doesn't have long before someone uses it as a sex toy or knocks the table over while stumbling around.

Quite possibly the most astute description of the Lovecraft Mythos I've ever read.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on November 19, 2009, 04:15:22 AM
BongoBill: There's just one thing about New Super Mario Bros. Wii that bugs me.
BongoBill: It's the characters. I mean, what if the Beatles were John, Paul, Yellow Ringo, and Blue Ringo?
BongoBill: What if the Gospels were Matthew, Mark, Yellow Luke, and Blue Luke? What if DNA were made of adenine, cytosine, yellow thymine, and blue thymine?
BongoBill: (or, in the case of RNA, yellow uracil and blue uracil)
BongoBill: What if the characters of Left 4 Dead were Francis, Bill, Yellow Louis, and Blue Louis (Blouis, if you will)? What if the characters of Borderlands were Roland, Brick, Yellow Mordecai, and Blue Mordecai?
BongoBill: What if the points of a compass were north, south, yellow east, and blue east? What if the seasons were spring, summer, yellow autumn, and blue autumn? What if the classical elements were earth, wind, yellow fire, and blue fire?
Roger: Propane?
BongoBill: What if the Fellowship had Frodo, Sam, Yellow Pippin, and Blue Pippin?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 20, 2009, 06:27:30 AM
Quote
Quote
I'm pretty sure "ad infinitum" is not German
The German equivalent is one of those really long German words that just goes on forever.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 23, 2009, 08:32:20 PM
<@Romosome> Coca Cola wants me to give them a picture of my face
<@Romosome> so it can profile it
<@Romosome> and find faces that look like mine
<@Romosome> and then kill me and replace me I guess
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 23, 2009, 09:10:50 PM
<MarsDragon> I plan to sleep for the entire morning of Black Friday
<MarsDragon> And then I'll play video games
<@Friday> Mars
<@Friday> me too
<MarsDragon> I'm the best consumer ever
<@Friday> lets start a club
<Perfect_Bear> I
<Perfect_Bear> will join this club
<@Friday> ok
<@Romosome> um
<@Friday> I'm making a website now
<MarsDragon> We need a secret treehouse
<@Romosome> i'll join too
<@Romosome> if it's ok
<@Friday> www.whitefriday.com
<MarsDragon> No Romos allowed
<@Zaratustra> and my axe
<@Romosome> ...Friday
<@Friday> Sorry, No -- yeah, what Mars said
<@Romosome> is that you
<@Romosome> in the picture
<@Friday> yes
<@Romosome> what are you doing
<@Friday> :D
<@Friday> I am peeking out between two bags
<@Romosome> god that face
<@Friday> and grinning like an idiot
<Perfect_Bear> Over your orange drink
<Brentai> You are ALWAYS peeking out between two bags.
<@Romosome> you should make that your boards avatar
<Soup> Friday likes ORRAAAAHNGGEE
<@Romosome> WHY IS ORANGE JUICE YELLOW
* Soup is now known as Constantine
<@Romosome> IS IT
<@Romosome> A LIBERAL PLOT??!?
<@Friday> CONSTANTINE
<Perfect_Bear> URINE
<Yeoz> orange juice is orange o.o
<Constantine> FRIDAY
<Brentai> Well now it's Yellow Juice.
<melonhead> no it isn't
<Constantine> URINE TROUBLE NOW
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on November 24, 2009, 07:31:41 PM
[11:29] spikesjerico: i shouldnt like phoenix wright
[11:29] spikesjerico: but i do
[11:29] spikesjerico:  just wish there was more vore in it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cannon on November 24, 2009, 07:37:12 PM
DIGESTION!

...I regret nothing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 24, 2009, 08:24:19 PM
I can't help but be enamored by the idea of the inevitable startup of the Cornered theme after that.

EDIT: Saving you all your next step.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew1Nr5rHQn0
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on November 24, 2009, 09:15:01 PM
I love you guys.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 24, 2009, 09:16:00 PM
<+Kazz> say, within 1 point.
* Ophelia (momorin@00-000-00-000.cable.ubr27.sgyl.blueyonder.co.uk) has joined #dickjokes
<Doomykins> ;_; where are boards
<Brentai> In my pants.
<+Shana> Ophelia Ophelia?
<JDigital> Shana: it's, like, lyrai or someone
<+Shana> .
<+Shana> I'm Lyrai you dumb fuck
<+Kazz> MAYBE
<+Kazz> IF YOU DIDN'T CHANGE YOUR NAME EVERY FUCKING DAY
<+Kazz> WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO GUESS
<+Shana> SHUT UP, FATAZZ
<+Kazz> well
<JDigital> yeah this gives the illusion we have more women
<+Kazz> don't call people dumb fucks for not recognizing you
<The_Capn> Kazz: who else makes wildly inappropriate horatios
<+Kazz> when you take every precaution to prevent recognition
<Ophelia> hay ^^
<The_Capn> I mean, depending on your resolution, the last one hasn't even left the screen yet
<SimonTheDigger> this so called "energy gum" is kind of bleh
<+Shana> Ophelia
<+Shana> Are you new here
<+Kazz> it could also be a zambie
<Ophelia> What kind of question is that? ^^
<+Kazz> well
<+Kazz> y'see
<+Kazz> i just got off the phone with your grandmother
<+Shana> Yes
<+Shana> Have you been on the phone with your grandmother recently Ophelia
<Ophelia> Yes
<Ophelia> She said good girls forgive and forget
* You were kicked from #dickjokes by Squizzle (Stop changing your nick.)
* Rejoined channel #dickjokes
* Topic is 'Hey artists: http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=4169.0 | Friday, stop messing around with my nick. | I am leaving the !fatal trigger on overnight. Knock yourselves out.'
* Set by Vance!zerolinar@adsl-00-00-00-000.dsl.irvnca.sbcglobal.net on Tue Nov 24 01:37:31
<Shana> :(
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Shana
<Upthorn> !lyrai
<+Shana> DWARVES WITH GUNS.
<The_Capn> http://www.crowdedstreet.net/alex/several_bad_puns_later.jpg
<Upthorn> err right I meant
* Upthorn inserts a quarter into lyrai
<+Shana> Bajumbo moi noi noi jecker Dabatto bunkergait jun jun Nora juerue-rotto pura-pura petto Puraret dum dum Papuranoi noi noi jecker Dabatto bumperget tum tum Ora poerketino bookeran tan-tan-so Bokeretyo kyenturanai mimani unlalhood-cha-la Terra hooki-ra pishi-to diki-ra poody-to Seni-kidi koseibo Kokorenkyo yenturanai mimani unlalhood-cha-la Terra hooki-ra shishi-sho tusura hajiki yo!
<+Shana> So why are you in the uk Ophelia
<Ophelia> You sure ask a lot of questions ^^
<+Kazz> the grandmother thing, though, it's a great in-joke now
<+Kazz> so
<+Kazz> i forgive you
<Zararara> good news
<+Shana> You're sure dodgy about answering them!
<Zararara> I'm not leaving next month
<Zararara> I'm leaving today
<@Squizzle> wat
<+Kazz> lyrai stop being a cunt
<+Kazz> zara what
<Zararara> they're paying me to stay at home now
<Ophelia> Look I'm sorry but I don't have to answer right now. My life has got quite complicated and I thought maybe I could find some solace online. Hell knows I've not been finding it in fiction.
<@Squizzle> Lyrai, if this turns out not to be Ophrealia, we get a nice laugh out of it and move on. If it is, well, that's pretty nice.
<Ophelia> I'll be back later, see if anyone cares then.
<JDigital> Ophelia: which finalfight regular under a comedy new nick are you again
<JDigital> zara: did they fire you from your job that you hate
<Ophelia> Screw you, pisswad. You're just jealous because you didn't get to see my tits.
<JDigital> tits or gtfo
<JDigital> also why are you in england
<+Kazz> things are less complicated in england, not more.
<+Kazz> they don't even have cold beer there.
<+Kazz> THEY'RE SAVAGES.
<Ophelia> MAYBE I wanted to go somewhere cultured.
<+Kazz> i went to england.
<+Shana> so how's nimduin
<Ophelia> I should've known there would be hostility; I'm going to leave now. I MAY come back.
<+Kazz> it was awful.  everybody sounds smart, like in the movies, but they're actually as dumb as anyone else.
<+Kazz> it was really confusing.
* Zararara waves to Ophelia
<+Kazz> NO STAY
<Zararara> hit ophelia
<+Kazz> STAY OPHY
<Zararara> how's up
<+Kazz> STAY
<Zararara> er
<Zararara> hey
<+Kazz> I LOVE YOU
<Zararara> not hit
* Ophelia (momorin@00-00-000-000.cable.ubr27.sgyl.blueyonder.co.uk) has left #dickjokes
<+Kazz> fucking cunt
<+Kazz> i hope she chokes on cocks
<+Kazz> you too lyrai, choke on cocks
<+Kazz> actually everybody here can choke on cocks
<+Kazz> fucking drama queens
<+Shana> see kazz
<Zararara> kazz
<Zararara> it's not your fault kazz
<+Shana> when she left ff and tried to set up camp elsehwere in the internet
<+Shana> she chose a community I was in
<+Kazz> "I'm gonna go someplace where I faked my own death and then I'm gonna talk about myself.  HEY WHY ISN'T ANYONE HAPPY TO SEE ME"
<JDigital> !ophelia
<+Shana> and tried to do the same "make this guy fall for me and break up his relationship but then just be a bitch and reveal i've been stringing him along"
<+Kazz> hey zara i'm sorry to hear that.  or i'm happy.  whatever you are, i'm that
<+Shana> Except the guy and girl she tried to fuck with ere close friends of mine
<+Shana> so i like to pretend i'm allowed a little extra hostility towards her for that
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 24, 2009, 09:20:08 PM
I had to leave like 4 lines into that.  Guess I missed out?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on November 25, 2009, 12:04:45 AM
judging from that log?

nope.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 25, 2009, 04:26:31 AM
Ophelia? That takes me back. I'm still waiting for Cassius to show up.

You know, so I can pelt him with soybeans.

I'm a vegan now, so it's ok.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cyan Prime on November 25, 2009, 08:47:43 PM
(9:54:35 PM) NoobFukaire: they mention lwjgl on sun's site
(10:44:41 PM) NoobFukaire: it almost sounds like they dropped jogl for lwjgl
(10:46:04 PM) CyanPrime: I think JOGL users are
(10:46:08 PM) CyanPrime: SHIT!
(10:46:14 PM) CyanPrime: ...Out of luck.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 25, 2009, 08:51:43 PM
The worst part is I actually understand what Cyan was trying to reference in that mess.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on November 26, 2009, 08:08:55 AM
Quote
Ah, the '90s. Gunfire here was a product of 1993's "Bloodlines" crossover, in which a whole slew of new characters were created through the plot device of an alien invasion. One of the only characters to get his own (albeit short-lived) series, Gunfire had the ability to agitate the molecules of any object, effectively turning everything into a gun.

This is the most '90s super-power ever.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on November 26, 2009, 05:15:13 PM
Hichi: You know who Friday is don't you?
Zaratustra1: To a degree.
Hichi: Its fucking stephanie myers
Zaratustra1: wha
Zaratustra1: no.
Hichi: Yes.
Zaratustra1: what makes you say that
Hichi: stephanie myers often goes under the name Friday when writing online and love zombies and hiveminds.
Hichi: loves*
Hichi: and I mean LOVES
Zaratustra1: does she often write from california
Hichi: and look at the level of writing? Thats not just some random person.
Zaratustra1: that's how you know it's not stephanie myers
Hichi: Well as an author that big I'd guess she would write from all over.
Hichi: I'm about 95% sure
Hichi: The context she writes in is a lot like twilight
Zaratustra1: it's quite an interesting theory
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on November 26, 2009, 05:20:17 PM
 :wat:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on November 26, 2009, 05:30:38 PM
Too bad Stephanie Myers writes for shit.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 26, 2009, 08:17:41 PM
o snap
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on November 26, 2009, 08:21:47 PM
I wasn't making a joke about friday. I was actually talking about the Twilight lady.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 26, 2009, 08:35:51 PM
Too bad Stephanie Myers writes vore shit.

...what?  The girl wants to be eaten.  That is vore.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on November 26, 2009, 08:45:47 PM
Many girls like getting eaten. I don't think that makes them vorephiles.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 26, 2009, 10:25:58 PM
The flesh creature is correct. We have added Stephanie Myers to our collective some months ago. Our replacement of government officials and celebrities goes on unnoticed. Do not be alarmed if you see a sudden increase in Bears or Bear-oriented media. This is only natural.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 26, 2009, 10:38:51 PM
I know what you are.  You're impossibly big and strong.  Your skin is covered with a shiny coat of fur.  Your eyes have no whites, and sometimes you break out into song about necessities.  You never eat or drink anything that's not from a hunny pot.  You shit in the woods.  How old are you?

...

How long have you been GRRRRRRRRRRRR?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on November 26, 2009, 10:59:56 PM
I think you mean hunny pot or pickanick basket, eh Boo Boo?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on December 06, 2009, 04:32:55 PM
[16:21] <Brentai> Hey Niku did you actually get through Death in the end?
[16:21] <Niku> Yeah.
[16:22] <Brentai> Okay good.
[16:22] <Niku> I'm in Minewbie right now.
[16:22] <Xerox> Did you actually "get through" Death "in the end"?
[16:22] <Lee-Ham> I got to the second screen of Death!
[16:22] <Moebius> Did you actually "convince to" Death "have buttsex?"
[16:22] <Lee-Ham> Friday told me where the first exit was!
[16:23] <Lee-Ham> I am good at video games
[16:23] <Xerox> Friday told me where the "first exit" was!
[16:23] <Shana> Her vagina?
[16:23] <Xerox> I wasn't going to do it again, but that opportunity and timing was just too good.
[16:23] <Lee-Ham> she said she would let me go through her first exit as long as I let her be player 1
[16:24] <Xerox> I'm not touching that.
[16:24] <Brentai> But Lee-Ham is.
[16:24] <Lee-Ham> but then she just kept hitting pause while I was trying to make a difficult "jump"
[16:25] <Xerox> Yeah, when she's on top, she never lets you go first.
[16:25] <Lee-Ham> it's ok, I got on her square and hit her from below to make her drop her star cards
[16:26] <Brentai> I had sex with Friday in the butt.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on December 10, 2009, 07:29:42 PM
[22:25] <notKazz> stush
[22:26] <notKazz> i have critical business.
[22:26] <Stush> D:
[22:26] <Stush> That does more damage then normal business!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on December 12, 2009, 09:33:41 AM
<Yeoz> i wonder if i have an accent
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 12, 2009, 06:50:41 PM
Quote
[22:25] <notKazz> stush
[22:26] <notKazz> i have critical business.
[22:26] <Stush> D:
[22:26] <Stush> That does more damage then normal business!

further reinforcing my belief that Stush is the best person in #ff

Quote
[16:26] <Brentai> I had sex with Friday in the butt.

but you got tripped up by the triple shooter in the deepest area
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Misha on December 12, 2009, 06:51:45 PM
Quote
[22:25] <notKazz> stush
[22:26] <notKazz> i have critical business.
[22:26] <Stush> D:
[22:26] <Stush> That does more damage then normal business!

further reinforcing my belief that Stush is the best person in the world
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on December 13, 2009, 06:07:58 AM
<@Cait> Did Frocto win by wallswimming
<Frocto> you bet I did
<@Cait> Frocto has learned how to cheat Death. An important lesson.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on December 13, 2009, 09:48:34 AM
Making the Chakan ending all the more appropriate.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on December 15, 2009, 09:26:19 PM
[00:22] <Smiler> SPY IS SCOUTS DADS PYROS MOMS ANNOUNCER
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 16, 2009, 07:28:10 PM
<Esperath> aussies love their steaks
<@Silversong> Yeah, I saw their restaurant.
<@Cait> The restaurant that has nothing to do with Australia at all?
<@Silversong> Whatever.  There was a digeridoo on the wall.  You can't just fake that.
<Esperath> foster's.  australian for outback steakhouse.
<@Squizzle> The iPhone doesn't produce the haunting melodies of the Australian outback. Droid digeridoes.
<@Silversong> digeridon't.
<+drethelin> oh no you digerididn't
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on December 17, 2009, 02:08:42 AM
[17:55] Frocto: why does peggle have a unicorn
[17:55] kazztawdal: his name is bhorn
[17:55] kazztawdal: bjorn
[17:56] Frocto: is he cool
[17:56] kazztawdal: no
[17:56] Frocto: why does peggle have a unicorn
[17:56] kazztawdal: why not
[17:58] Frocto: you can say that, but
[17:58] Frocto: there are actually a lot of reasons
[17:59] kazztawdal: unicorns are cool
[18:00] Frocto: you have to question the morals of a guy who has a 3 foot dick and only hangs out with virgins
[18:01] kazztawdal: why
[18:01] Frocto: he is probably a jerk
[18:01] kazztawdal: maybe
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 18, 2009, 03:26:05 PM
Quote
It's 10 years since Homer Simpson observed about kids: “You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.”
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on December 19, 2009, 09:02:44 PM
Quote
This book is to literature what 50 CENT: BLOOD ON THE SAND is to literature.

Chris Sims on Twilight.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 20, 2009, 08:39:13 PM
<+lady_duke> but vaginas dont stick out that way
<+lady_duke> look at that doll
<+lady_duke> her vagina is like, forward
<+lady_duke> protruding outwards from her in a way that they do not realistically
<Esperath> maybe YOU don't have an opposable vagina
<MetalSlime> Taki throws enemies with her vagina
<@Friday> my vagina is capable of bending, flexing, shooting spikes, and accelerating to up to 95 mph.
<MetalSlime> Can you use it for sex, though?
<@Friday> I was describing sex.
<sei> i am disappointed that "bending" was not followed by "spacetime"
<MetalSlime> Sex with Friday sounds like a boss battle
<@Zaratustra> oh, it bends many things
<+lady_duke> hahahahaha
<+lady_duke> oh friday
<sei> inc comment on someone wanting to warp through friday's wormhole
<MetalSlime> With phases
<Esperath> I beat the last boss
<Esperath> I was hard
<@Zaratustra> SHOOT THE CORE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 20, 2009, 11:42:35 PM
Why does every discussion about Friday's vagina inevitably end with Zaratustra?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on December 20, 2009, 11:59:10 PM
zaratustra is where vaginas go to die.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on December 21, 2009, 12:00:36 AM
are you implying that I would like to touch friday's vagina disposable ninja

because it's true
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on December 21, 2009, 12:02:07 AM
DON'T DO IT sound of the thing from john carpenter's the thing screaming while on fire
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 21, 2009, 12:19:07 AM
are you implying that I would like to touch friday's vagina disposable ninja

Actually I'm pretty sure I was going for an ejaculation jo-Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh

(that was a monty python joke about Friday's vag, also known as the Black Beast)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 28, 2009, 08:04:02 AM
<Friday_San_Diego> Zara you and I should write a Twilight werewolf game
<Friday_San_Diego> Edward: faggot. everyone wins immediately if he dies.
<Friday_San_Diego> Bella: village idiot.
<@Zaratustra> twilight werewolves imprint on a person at random
<@Zaratustra> and then if that person dies
<Friday_San_Diego> Jacob: THE WEREWOLF.
<@Zaratustra> they are Very Unhappy
<Friday_San_Diego> Renesme: double faggot. everyone wins twice immediately if she dies.
<@Zaratustra> this game doesn't seem very balanced
<SimonTheDigger> what if Edward kills Renesme or vice-versa
<Sede> Shmeesme!
<Friday_San_Diego> Very Unhappy werewolves cannot night kill
<Friday_San_Diego> they just mope around all day and automatically self-vote
<Joxam> Friday, the problem with that is you wouldn't be able to destingush them from some of our regular players.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on December 30, 2009, 12:44:03 AM
[16:40] Frocto: when I go to uni, I should get a tutor
[16:41] Frocto: a really hot one! with huge tits
[16:41] tenderdicks: and a huge dick
[16:41] Frocto: no
[16:41] tenderdicks: well
[16:41] tenderdicks: that was in the wrong window
[16:41] tenderdicks: but it works here too
[16:41] Frocto: hahaha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on December 30, 2009, 12:54:22 AM
CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY TO FROCTO BY ACCIDENT EVERYONE BECAUSE HE JUST SPREADS IT ALL OVER THE INTERNET
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on December 30, 2009, 12:59:21 AM
I'm sorry, you must have mistaken this for the no quotes thread.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 01, 2010, 12:18:29 PM
[12:12] Broomtie: I have to feed other people unfortunately and they do not appreciate a steady diet of games.
[12:12] guild: so don't make any mistakes
[12:12] Broomtie: Because they are HEATHENS.
[12:12] Yeoz: perhaps you should
[12:12] Yeoz: eat them.
[12:12] Yeoz: problem solved
[12:12] Doomykins: no make them eat each other, he's not hungry
[12:12] Broomtie: omg what are you frocto
[12:12] Doomykins: YES
[12:13] * Doomykins removes mask
[12:13] Broomtie: ...
[12:13] * guild puts it back on him
[12:13] Yeoz: lol
[12:13] Broomtie: Say it.
[12:13] guild: that's gross dude
[12:13] Doomykins: fat dick-sucking lips
[12:13] Doomykins: or
[12:13] Doomykins: hello boys and girls
[12:13] Broomtie: There you go.
[12:13] Broomtie: I mean seriously.
[12:13] Broomtie: You are Frocto menacing people with a mask.
[12:13] Broomtie: And you just pulled it off dramatically.
[12:14] Broomtie: It's like his own personal HERE'S JOHNNY.
[12:14] Doomykins: VOOOOOOORE :C  :O
[12:14] Doomykins: :C :O
[12:14] guild: it's more like pee wee herman's greeting
[12:14] Doomykins: :XO
[12:14] Doomykins: :)
[12:14] guild: complete with pedo vibes
[12:14] Broomtie: One of these days he'll be stabbing the twitching corpse of a woman and cheerfully going all "Hello boys and girls!  Today we're snuffing out a bitch!"
[12:14] Cait: Brentai: While filming it?
[12:15] Broomtie: "This is so unintuitive!"
[12:15] Doomykins: "why is this so hard? why is she struggling?"
[12:15] Broomtie: "WE ARE SO GOOD AT RAPING GUYS"
[12:15] Doomykins: "don't tell me how to do this you guys"
[12:15] Doomykins: "I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO STAB THE THROAT FIRST"
[12:15] Cait: "I CAN'T FIND HER NECK"
[12:15] Doomykins: "god"
[12:15] Doomykins: HAHAHAHA
[12:15] * Doomykins high-fives Cait
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 01, 2010, 12:21:11 PM
[12:17] Cait: "Reubens has said that, although he feels confident that he can still portray Pee-wee himself, he would optimally cast Johnny Depp if needed. He even claims that he has spoken to Depp himself and that the actor asked for time to think of it." Re: new Pee-Wee movie.
[12:18] Yeoz: he was on, uh, the tonight show, and was a little weak :\
[12:18] guild: what the fff
[12:18] Cait: "We need someone to portray a somewhat mentally unbalanced person who..." "Johnny Depp."
[12:18] guild: no no just keep doing creepy cameos man
[12:18] Yeoz: http://www.hulu.com/watch/111360/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-pee-wee-herman-part-1
[12:19] guild: don't throw your barely rekindled career into the fire
[12:19] Broomtie: It's a fine line.
[12:20] Broomtie: If it's a comically insane person, Johnny Depp.  If it's a quietly smoldering insane person, Christian Bale.
[12:20] guild: if it's both, al gore
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on January 01, 2010, 12:30:25 PM
THAT CLIP IS AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING

It is also fun to imagine Depp's face when his caller ID reads "NOW CALLING: PEE-WEE HERMAN"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on January 01, 2010, 03:19:37 PM
[12:14] Broomtie: One of these days he'll be stabbing the twitching corpse of a woman and cheerfully going all "Hello boys and girls!  Today we're snuffing out a bitch!"
[12:14] Cait: Brentai: While filming it?
[12:15] Broomtie: "This is so unintuitive!"
[12:15] Doomykins: "why is this so hard? why is she struggling?"
[12:15] Broomtie: "WE ARE SO GOOD AT RAPING GUYS"
[12:15] Doomykins: "don't tell me how to do this you guys"
[12:15] Doomykins: "I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO STAB THE THROAT FIRST"
[12:15] Cait: "I CAN'T FIND HER NECK"
[12:15] Doomykins: "god"

I heard it all in his voice.  :ohshi~:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on January 01, 2010, 10:11:55 PM
[12:19] guild: don't throw your barely rekindled career into the fire

...but if you're rekindling something, don't you WANT it to be on fire?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on January 01, 2010, 10:36:37 PM
Guild
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on January 01, 2010, 10:37:49 PM
Thad
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on January 02, 2010, 02:20:57 PM
Dr. Scott!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 04, 2010, 09:35:46 PM
[21:31] Roger: http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/9792/whatisthisidonteven.jpg  Google's street level confuses and frigthens me
[21:31] Yeoz: i'm going to say armadillo
[21:31] Brentai: You just did!
[21:31] Brentai: Are you going to again?
[21:31] Yeoz: that's shedded it's outer skin
[21:31] Yeoz: (do armadillos shed? i don't know)
[21:32] Yeoz: either that or some other type of roadkill
[21:32] Brentai: Aha, he was!
[21:32] Yeoz: i said armadillos not armadillo again
[21:32] Yeoz: does that actually count
[21:33] Brentai: It does now that you said "armadillo".
[21:33] Yeoz: drat.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on January 04, 2010, 10:09:25 PM
That... looks like a shopping bag.

Probably from the wal-mart.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on January 07, 2010, 12:14:32 AM
Quote
~~~
Myshu: (Ah shit, Magus has... reverted to a wee childe and started weeping, like a fagson)
Myshu: (Stop crying boy)
DK: lmao a FAGSON?
DK: so offensive
DK: so offensive
* Myshu off the cuff
L_Cully: Magus is a fagson whether he weeps or not.
L_Cully: God I hate Magus
L_Cully: I wish he would burst
DK: lmao I hope magus gets acid in his eye
maggiekarp: DK can you write a story where Magus gets acid in his eye and it has to be replaced by one of Robo's eyes
L_Cully: I hope Magus accidentally inhales a lot of red pepper.
maggiekarp: but Robo hates him so much he makes everything look like Schala's bloated corpse
Rydia: MK you're just trying to offload your drawing responsibilities on DK in the form of writing
SaintNick: why would they waste one of Robo's eyes? They'd just steal a button, or something absurdly watery from a taxedermy shop
Myshu: That's fuckin' morbid, man
~~
DK: Magus squealed like a burning rabbit as Lucca's DeathPenis(TM) Syringe dildo unleashed a torrential font of iris-melting fury. "THAT'S FOR CALLING MY MOM LARA STUMPTEAR!" she howled, running off into the night, tears streaming down her face, hypodermic donger wagging in front of her like a reverse puppy tail that was also a syringe full of acid because she has sexual problems.
maggiekarp: yessss
Myshu: lmao the trademark symbol
DK: It had to be done, cheap Porre knockoffs will flood the market
DK: I hope Magus gets so hungry he has to eat plants he just finds growing around, and those plants are poison ivy.
maggiekarp: "Dalton's back and he has two eyepatches for some reason" "Porre sucks bros, just sayin"
DK: I hope Magus gets a real bad UTI.
maggiekarp: I hope Magus turns Frawg back into a humawn and they have wacky roadtrip adventures Smile
DK: I hope the red dust Magus inhaled during the events at the ocean palace give him a kidney dreamstone and everyone forces him to pass it so Melchior can use it as a weapon and he's giving birth to it swaddled in sweat-soaked sheets and everyone's laughing real hard.
SaintNick: I hope Magus has to buy a car, and it's a used Kia Rio, and the seatbelts fail/
Mozz_Sherman: Magus: The engine likes to flood
Mozz_Sherman: the car always [HONNNNK!]ing stalls
DK: I hope magus gets roofing tar all over his genitalia somehow and has to explain it to his companions
Mozz_Sherman: and the driver's seat has a big rip so a spring always pokes me balllls
Mozz_Sherman: OUCH OUCH OUCH
Mozz_Sherman: I hope someting unpleasant happens to Magus's physical form.
SaintNick: I hope Magus finally finds someone who likes him, just so he has someone he feels like he needs to explain the roofing tar to.
maggiekarp: there were a lot of naked parties in CT, nothing to do with liking
SaintNick: And the roofing tar is just the last straw, so that kind soul calls him a tarbaby, sticks a piece of litter to his junk, and storms off over the unmowed grass.
Mozz_Sherman: and/or bullies him into eating litter
Mozz_Sherman: !quote *litter
Snewman: #361: <DK> Listen, it's crunchy.  Don't knock it until you've tried it. | <Jerm> (DK doesn't actually eat cat litter) | <DK> Uh... yes I do, actually.
DK: I hope Magus gets a winning lottery ticket and feels his spirits rise because now he can finally invest in that Zeal-and-Alfador-and-dead-sister themed miniature Chronogolf course he's been dreaming about since he first felt Ozzie's lash. But it turns out that he mistread it and the 7 was actually a 9 that he scraped too hard, so he wins nothing and he cries that night eating cold beans from the can in a pair of soiled underwear.
SaintNick: DK you're not fooling anyone, that was an episode of My Name is Earl
DK: I think that was every episode of My Name is Earl
Mozz_Sherman: if you add Jaime Pressly being white-trash, yes.
~~~
L_Cully: oh hehe i started a meme with magus ill-wishes.
L_Cully: yay
SaintNick: Someone tell this cigarette to pour me another drink.
DK: I hope Magus meets a woman who he really thinks he's impressing but at the end of the night she puts a cigarette out on his tongue
maggiekarp: I hope Magus gets amnesia and starts wearing a lot of chest-exposing shirts Smile
DK: I hope Magus loses a nipple in a horrible fishing accident.
L_Cully: TCH ONLY 8 REVIEWS FOR THE STORY I POSTED TWO HOURS AGO?
L_Cully: that's only 4 reviews per hour
SaintNick: I hope Magus meets a woman, but decides to miss out on a one night stand on the idea that he can turn it into a more meaningful relationship. He wakes the next morning to find the pocket with her number soaked clean through with his own urine, and the urine of several others.
L_Cully: unacceptable
L_Cully: I hope Magus posts a story in a big fandom and it only gets one reply and it's someone correcting his spelling.
DK: I hope Magus has a drunken one night stand with Gato
SaintNick: I hope Magus finds out he's a hemophiliac after he stubs his toe.
Mozz_Sherman: MY NAME IS GATO, I HAVE SILVER JOINTS, LICK MY GEARBOX, FAGUS, AND EARN 69 SILVER POINTS
Mozz_Sherman: he sings this loud and proud so everyone in the building can hear.
SaintNick: I hope Magus' dad finally makes him get a haircut and a job. He continues to write his bad poetry, while he tells all of his coworkers at Li'l Ceasers he's going somewhere.
DK: call it off, sounds too much like my life
SaintNick: Eventually he just starts telling them he'll be assistant manager next time they have a round of promotions, but that's just as much of a lie.
L_Cully: I hope it's a
L_Cully: MULTICHAPTERED
L_Cully: story.
L_Cully: I hope Magus has to clean out the bathtub and sweep the verandah and put his laundry away and when he pauses for a drink all his lemondrop schnapps is gawne
SaintNick: Magus seems more like a golschlagger person to me
SaintNick: it's got real gold in there. It's like I'm drinking rich people!
DK: I hope Magus is still struggling with his tam o'shanter while he's heading down the icy front steps and he slips, landing hard on his hip and driving the pencil he has in his pocket into his left testicle
Mozz_Sherman: i hope magus doesn't even know the joy of tasting lemon schnapps thus never had it in his cup to begin with.
Mozz_Sherman: you know, we're kinda being dicks to him, now.
SaintNick: I hope Magus realizes how much he deserves for us to be dicks to him.
~~~
L_Cully: I hope Frawg never runs out of lemondrop schnapps ^-^
maggiekarp: I hope Magus finds out just how good Frawg is to him
~~~
Myshu: It's neko time http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=5474286
maggiekarp: meow meow whatever |:3
DK: it's never neko time
maggiekarp: I hope Magus finds someone that understands neko time :3
L_Cully: I hope Magus gets stuck in neko time :3
maggiekarp: I got some pictures of Magus making neko time awkward for his past self
~~~
DK: Also I got in trouble for griefing on SS13 because being made a revolutionary is apparently not carte blanche to stab a sleeping crewmember in the eyes with the screwdriver over and over until he's blind, then weld him into a closet
L_Cully: I hope all that happens to Magus.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Walker on January 07, 2010, 11:46:33 AM
What in the hell was that?  :OoO:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on January 07, 2010, 12:08:53 PM
I don't know, but now I've forgotten my punchline!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on January 07, 2010, 09:59:15 PM
[00:57] <Mesh> it'd be cool if people were like dogs
[00:57] <Mesh> where like
[00:57] <Mesh> if you randomly started beating them off, they wouldn't call the cops
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Walker on January 08, 2010, 06:33:06 PM
[19:26] John: do you know where I can get good, but cheap, modding done?
[19:26] John: I gotta mod my dick to fuck foreign chicks.
[19:26] Walker: Uh... your dick ought to be region-free, man.
[19:26] John: you sure? it's an 87 model...
[19:27] Walker: Mine's an '82 model and it's region-free.
[19:27] John: well then, I am in business.
[19:27] John: as soon as I find a foreign chick willing to fuck me.
[19:27] Walker: Yes.
[19:27] Walker: That's the problem.  Importing them is a bitch.
[19:28] John: I could get one of those mail order brides, but then I'd have to feed it and take care of it...I've already got a hamster, dammit.
[19:29] Walker: And I've got a cat.
[19:29] Walker: I'm sure there's a pussy joke here somewhere.
[19:29] John: actually I was just gonna quote, "a cat is fine too."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 10, 2010, 08:35:28 PM
<Mr_Saturn> http://tomopop.com/megahouse-s-one-piece-strong-edition-nico-robin-and-usopp-pre-orders-open-10497.phtml OH GOD NICO ROBIN WITH GLASSES
<Mr_Saturn> HNNNNNG
<Rygaron> I came.
<Brentai> I saw.
<Friday> I came.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Walker on January 11, 2010, 09:55:16 AM
Quality.  :perfect:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on January 11, 2010, 08:49:15 PM
fuck you rygaron
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 11, 2010, 08:57:55 PM
Frocto, when the fuck are we just going to have some sex so we can get all this tension out?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on January 11, 2010, 09:11:43 PM
never

you are a hideous hambeast
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on January 12, 2010, 04:13:18 PM
[19:08] <@Zaratustra> also, last I checked, obama talks with a very distinctive lilt. You'd never hear the voice on the radio and think "that's a white dude talking"
[19:08] <@Zaratustra> just because he doesn't go full Cosby
[19:09] <@Zaratustra> ZIP ZAP ZOOBITY DO BOP
[19:09] <+Kazz> he holds it in as best he can
[19:09] <@Zaratustra> I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE DOO WAH AND THE ZOOP ZOOP
[19:09] <@Zaratustra> if there was a movie where bill cosby was president I'd buy twelve tickets
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on February 01, 2010, 08:59:27 AM
[14:48] zaratustra00: did you know
[14:48] zaratustra00: you're more closely related to a sea cucumber
[14:48] zaratustra00: than to the mosquito sucking your blood
[14:48] zaratustra00: your house is full of little aliens
[14:48] MadMaxJR: I don't eject my stomach at prey
[14:48] zaratustra00: insects are the only other phylum that managed to leave the sea man
[14:49] zaratustra00: or
[14:49] zaratustra00: arthropods
[14:49] zaratustra00: or whatever
[14:49] zaratustra00: everything else is weird sea creatures that use their organs as weaponry
[14:49] MadMaxJR: Hey Zara. Lets be the first creatures to return to the sea.
[14:50] zaratustra00: the sea gets my skin all wrinkly
[14:50] zaratustra00: also
[14:50] zaratustra00: the whales were on it first
[14:50] zaratustra00: after the fight with the insects
[14:50] zaratustra00: the whales still have vestigial legs. Why is that? BECAUSE THEY MIGHT COME BACK
[14:51] zaratustra00: they still have the option
[14:51] zaratustra00: beached whales are a warning dude
[14:51] zaratustra00: they're saying, "I could do this any time I wanted to"
[14:52] MadMaxJR: "Durhurhur, you landfags."
[14:52] MadMaxJR: Whales start posting to 4chan
[14:52] MadMaxJR: Giant posts of BWEAAEEOOOOOOOOOOO
[14:52] zaratustra00: "HEY BITCH THAT WATER YOU DRINKING?"
[14:52] zaratustra00: "YEAH I SHAT ON IT"
[14:53] zaratustra00: BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
[14:53] zaratustra00: and dolphins all sniggering and trading high fives
[14:53] MadMaxJR: We go down there and find out they have their own internet and computers down on the very bottom.
[14:53] zaratustra00: all based on sea cucumbers
[14:53] MadMaxJR: "Oh my god they haven't even switched to IPv6 you guys."
[14:53] zaratustra00: using their intestines as usb drives
[14:54] MadMaxJR: Hold on I have to post this on oceanbook
[14:54] zaratustra00: current mood: driftin'
[14:54] MadMaxJR: (90 friend pictures, all look like the same damn dolphin)
[14:54] zaratustra00: are you dolphin racist madmax
[14:55] MadMaxJR: Look man, dolphins jacked my car, I'm just saying, the stereotype fits
[14:55] zaratustra00: my grandmother was a dolphin you know
[14:55] zaratustra00: she had a very hard life
[14:55] MadMaxJR: Man I have a court date on thursday with this guy do not start this
[14:55] MadMaxJR: His lawyer is gonna be all 'sonar echo disproves' and shit
[14:56] MadMaxJR: Hoping for a bear on the jury.
[14:56] zaratustra00: hopefully it's not a kangaroo court
[14:56] MadMaxJR: Cause they are all for eatin fish guys
[14:56] zaratustra00: see there you are with the racism again
[14:56] zaratustra00: this is what I am talking about
[14:57] zaratustra00: you call dolphins "fish guys" you know they are not from fishia
[14:58] MadMaxJR: Atlantic, Pacific, I don't care where they're from, they're jerks man. Pullin up next to you on the street, leaning out and doing that thing with his blow hole to taunt you.
[14:58] MadMaxJR: They're assholes.
[14:58] MadMaxJR: I hope they all get caught in one big tuna trawler.
[14:58] zaratustra00: whateva you're just angry cause that porpoise didn't give you her number
[14:59] MadMaxJR: you know what they say... once you go gray you...... get aquatic parasite infections
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on February 01, 2010, 01:29:19 PM
 :done:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on February 01, 2010, 02:41:00 PM
[21:31] Roger: http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/9792/whatisthisidonteven.jpg  Google's street level confuses and frigthens me
[21:31] Yeoz: i'm going to say armadillo
[21:31] Brentai: You just did!
[21:31] Brentai: Are you going to again?
[21:31] Yeoz: that's shedded it's outer skin
[21:31] Yeoz: (do armadillos shed? i don't know)
[21:32] Yeoz: either that or some other type of roadkill
[21:32] Brentai: Aha, he was!
[21:32] Yeoz: i said armadillos not armadillo again
[21:32] Yeoz: does that actually count
[21:33] Brentai: It does now that you said "armadillo".
[21:33] Yeoz: drat.

for what it's worth, i recently drove on that very street
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 03, 2010, 07:30:10 PM
* @Friday sexy eyes from across the bar at the slobbering, gibbering drunk
<+Kazz> GIRHGUIRAHUAHCPDHAPB

<+Kazz> today i found
<+Kazz> a barbecue chicken pizza
<+Kazz> at walmrat
<+Kazz> a frozen one
<+Kazz> it was ok
<@Friday> walmrat
<+Kazz> it had red onions!
<+Kazz> WALMRAT
<+Kazz> DIRE WALMRAT
<+Kazz> 1d20
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on February 10, 2010, 12:34:28 PM
PROLOGUE: I changed my MSN name to FEBO

Zara says (7:27 PM):
  idea for d&d monster
FEBO says (7:27 PM):
  FEBO
Zara says (7:27 PM):
  timewraiths - ghosts of people that were removed from existence by time travel
  what's a febo
FEBO says (7:29 PM):
  a Dutch fast food place that has a wall of like vending machines
Zara says (7:29 PM):
  that wouldn't be a very good monster
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on February 11, 2010, 06:24:34 AM
* Rukia was kicked by Squizzle (Every time you get a new, dumb nick, I personally strangle a puppy.)
<Yeoz> Squizzle :(
<@Squizzle> I hope that was Lyrai.
<@Squizzle> OtherwiseIf not, egg on my face!
<Gilgamesh> lay eggs in your face? okay!!!
* Gilgamesh has a face hugger hug face squzzles face your face!!
<@Squizzle> yaaaagh
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on February 11, 2010, 10:17:18 AM
* Rukia was kicked by Squizzle (Every time you get a new, dumb nick, I personally strangle a puppy.)
<Yeoz> Squizzle :(
<@Squizzle> I hope that was Lyrai.
<@Squizzle> OtherwiseIf not, egg on my face!
<Gilgamesh> lay eggs in your face? okay!!!
* Gilgamesh has a face hugger hug face squzzles face your face!!
<@Squizzle> yaaaagh

Looks like Squizzle got...

:goggles:

EGGsactly what he wanted.

Quote
<@Squizzle> yaaaagh
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on February 11, 2010, 11:55:22 AM
* Rukia was kicked by Squizzle (Every time you get a new, dumb nick, I personally strangle a puppy.)
<Yeoz> Squizzle :(
<@Squizzle> I hope that was Lyrai.
<@Squizzle> OtherwiseIf not, egg on my face!
<Gilgamesh> lay eggs in your face? okay!!!
* Gilgamesh has a face hugger hug face squzzles face your face!!

Looks like Squizzle got...

:deal:

EGGsactly what he wanted.

Quote
<@Squizzle> yaaaagh

No need to thank me.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on February 12, 2010, 12:55:31 AM
[03:54] <+Kazz> I HATE BEING ASKED QUESTIONS
[03:54] <+Kazz> I REFUSE TO EVER BE ASKED A QUESTION
[03:54] <+drethelin> kazz how will you do that
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 14, 2010, 10:17:31 PM
<@YoungFriday> Kayin, every time we talk about fetishes, I imagine you in that top hat, standing over some hapless tied up naked girl with a whip
<@YoungFriday> and you're like IF YOU CAN BEAT TYSON I'LL LET YOU GO
<@YoungFriday> and she's like I'D RATHER JUST GET MY NIPPLES TWEAKED SOME MORE
<Kayin> "As you wish :3"
<Stush> Friday and kayin, sitting in a tree, S I T T I N G
<Kayin> And while I Was doing it, I would be the only thing harder than IWBTG.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 15, 2010, 05:23:50 AM
<Froctor> !add7 You're a dick, God of Fire!
<Upth> Haiku Novicework: two full days of love / You're a dick, God of Fire! / I came on ur mom
<Froctor> :(
<Stush> Poor Frocto
<Froctor> he fucked my mom ;_;
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on February 15, 2010, 06:20:39 AM
that's 6 syllables though
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on February 15, 2010, 06:30:03 AM
<Kayin> And while I Was doing it, I would be the only thing harder than IWBTG.
best response to everything ever
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 15, 2010, 07:49:24 AM
<@YoungFriday> Man
<@YoungFriday> one thing though.
<@YoungFriday> never ever break up with someone in ANY WAY other than face to face
<@YoungFriday> if you do it over the phone or internets or whatever YOU LOSE
<Stush> Friday, what about smoke signals?
<@YoungFriday> those are acceptable if you are an indian
<Stush> Okay
<Rygaron> I think that only counts if you've officially "starting dating"
<Rygaron> Just like, no second date can be telecommuted.
<@Squizzle> No way. The best way to break up with someone is by dictating a letter to your new partner, asking said new partner to embellish it as s/he pleases, and then mail it off.
<Stush> What if you're in your artificial navi body?
<Stush> Is breaking up in your avatar alright?
<@YoungFriday> Stush no
<Stush> Okay.
<Stush> But the air is poisonous!
* @YoungFriday breaks up with Stush over some MMO
<@YoungFriday> I'm sorry, Stush, we can't be /together.
<@OfficeCait> /divorce
<Stush> First you steal my loot, and then you break my heart.
<Stush> Can i still use your town portals, Friday?
<@YoungFriday> hahahahaha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on February 15, 2010, 10:04:00 AM
<@Squizzle> No way. The best way to break up with someone is by dictating a letter to your new partner, asking said new partner to embellish it as s/he pleases, and then mail it off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Y0x1jLkLg
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on February 15, 2010, 03:01:31 PM
<@Squizzle> No way. The best way to break up with someone is by dictating a letter to your new partner, asking said new partner to embellish it as s/he pleases, and then mail it off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Y0x1jLkLg

Classiest way to do it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on February 15, 2010, 03:09:34 PM
that's 6 syllables though

fi-yah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: yyler on February 15, 2010, 03:12:44 PM
/faɪər/

one syllabro
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on February 15, 2010, 03:56:12 PM
Young Friday? Has she not found the Master Sword yet?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on February 15, 2010, 04:51:39 PM
/faɪər/

one syllabro

I don't think you've heard Frocto's accent or the quote being given.

It could be rendered as "YOU'RE A DICK, GOWD OFF FIYAWH" but that would be mean.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on February 15, 2010, 04:55:59 PM
that's 6 syllables though

fi-yah

pk fiyah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on February 18, 2010, 01:09:35 PM
<Yeoz> http://www.civilization5.com/img/screenshots/screenshot_02.jpg :D
<+BongoBill> The best thing so far about the Civilization 5 announcement is all the hex jokes.
<+BongoBill> People are hexcited. The game's got a lot of hex appeal. And it was a good decision: after all, hex sells.
<+drethelin> when I heard there was hex again I was all FF
<LapCait|CLASS> Better than letting them get all pent-up.
<JDigital> Groan.
<+BongoBill> I love you both.
<JDigital> Math jokes, Cait. You're such a square.
<+BongoBill> You'll have to tri harder than that, JD.
<JDigital> Hex harder. There's a river.
<+Ridley> I love the three GIANT HORSES next to the city
<JDigital> six ther'es a river
<+drethelin> that's how civ's always been
<+Ridley> shut up.
<+Ridley> to JD.
<+Ridley> Yeah, I know
<+BongoBill> dreth: now it's less so.
<JDigital> I oct to shut up now
<+Ridley> i'll deca you if you don't.
<JDigital> well hexcuuuse me princess
<@Squizzle> Fuck you. Nine.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on March 02, 2010, 09:22:16 AM
[12:17] <@Squizzle> fgsdfg
[12:18] <+Ridley> Squizzle has been knocked down by dragon scrotum and is attempting to type
[12:20] <Lottel> All of his dreams finally came true
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on March 06, 2010, 01:02:33 PM
[16:01] <+Ridley> :D
[16:01] <+Ridley> A bear!
[16:01] <+Ridley> that is the answer to my problem!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on March 07, 2010, 10:08:24 PM
Look at me, I'm quoting myself within a quote of myself!  It's a new level in meta-narcissism!

Quote
(10:06:20 PM) Yeoz: http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=kaiseki&w=all
(10:06:21 PM) Henton: (10:03:31 PM) (Her): we only taste it briefly, and only with certain tastebuds, hence why many people say it tastes salty even though its got a high sugar content
(10:06:21 PM) Henton: (10:03:49 PM) (Me): Well I guess that depends more on how you taste it.
(10:06:21 PM) Henton: (10:04:06 PM) (Her): yes, yes it does, but for most people its at the back of the tounge ;)
(10:06:21 PM) Henton: (10:04:08 PM) (Me): Hence the legitimate argument in favor of facials!
(10:06:21 PM) Henton: (10:04:29 PM) (Me): YAY FOR SCIENCE
(10:06:22 PM) Yeoz: *drool*
(10:06:48 PM) Henton: ...most awesomely-timed interruption ever.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 09, 2010, 11:51:37 AM
Some days the internets are good to me.

Quote
[There] is a ... scene in the Star Wars: Droids episode Tail of the Roon Comets in which R2-D2 turns on a jukebox and begins to breakdance... [Some] fans question the possibility of the moves R2-D2 performs in the episode. Nevertheless, the breakdance scene is assumed canonical until an official source confirms it is non-canon.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on March 09, 2010, 12:40:14 PM
And yet there's people who can't accept that Qui-gon and Obi-Wan did, in fact, travel through the core of Naboo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 09, 2010, 12:43:11 PM
And that Jar Jar was a senator as well as ambassador. AND A WAR HERO.

NEVER FORGET
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 09, 2010, 12:48:01 PM
My favourite thing about Jar Jar is that George realized that everyone hated him, so he promised he wouldn't really do anything with him in the second movie.

...Except make him the guy who gives Palpatine the Empire, that is.  :whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 10, 2010, 10:13:56 PM
"Treason is the reason for the season and that season--"
*pulls out a gun*
"--IS DEATH CHRISTMAS!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on March 10, 2010, 10:26:11 PM
My favourite thing about Jar Jar is that George realized that everyone hated him, so he promised he wouldn't really do anything with him in the second movie.

...Except make him the guy who gives Palpatine the Empire, that is.  :whoops:

Fridge Brilliance: Now everyone in-universe hates him as well.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on March 15, 2010, 01:05:51 PM
Quote
tegan says:
 I think I should nickname some of my pokes.
Bouncing Ada says:
 Chirpy-boy and Bart jr.?
tegan says:
 I have a Drowzee, Totodile, Furret, Pidgey, Geodude, and Flaaffy most of the time.
Bouncing Ada says:
 Geodude - THE BOULDER
tegan says:
 =O
 It only works if it's all one word.
 :\
 THEBOULDER feels conflicted about using Magnitude on YOUNGBLINDGIRL.
Bouncing Ada says:
 :T
tegan says:
 THEBOULDER is over its confliction!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 18, 2010, 07:37:31 PM
<LaserBeing> also the best part
<LaserBeing> of any Zelda episode
<LaserBeing> is when Zelda is sitting on her bed or something
<LaserBeing> and Link comes in
<LaserBeing> and goes "ALL RIGHT! SMOOCHIN' TIME"
<LaserBeing> and fucking tries to jump on her
<Nerd> haha
<@Friday> YES
<@Friday> I remember that
<@Romosome> yes
<LaserBeing> and she dodges
<@Romosome> this was before we had a concept of sexual harassment
<@Friday> fucking laughed out loud
<@Friday> I admit it
<@Romosome> bitches was just playin' hard to get
<@Friday> just like
<@Friday> no preamble
<@Friday> just
<@Romosome> SHE'S JUST SO FEISTY
<LaserBeing> yeah
<@Friday> ZELDA ON BED?
<@Romosome> RAWR
<@Friday> TIME TO SEX
<LaserBeing> and takes a fucking flying leap
<@Romosome> Link just whips it out and it makes the sword-beam sound effect
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on March 19, 2010, 09:39:15 PM
frocto: but I pretty much lost faith in dick measuring when I found out how big roger's was
Brentai: Mine is tiny.
Brentai: So tiny.
Brentai: Itty bitty.
Brentai: Teeny.
Brentai: Weent.
Brentai: So small.
frocto: and yet you're a stone cold badass
Brentai: All the testosterone went to my AWESOME gland.
frocto: so yeah, penis size has basically nothing to do with awesomeness
frocto: more like your lying gland
Brentai: My lying gland is enormous.  And throbbing.
frocto: veiny
frocto: constantly unloading all over women's faces
frocto: there's a series of japanese pornos just about you lying to women
frocto: ok bye
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on March 20, 2010, 09:37:37 AM
haha I can't believe you quoted that on here
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 25, 2010, 07:41:46 AM
"When life gives you ghosts you make ghost robots"

I fucking love 40k
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on March 25, 2010, 11:24:51 AM
[15:17] <Joxam> Niku, how long has godzilla been moonwalking?
[15:20] <Niku> Joxam: since time immemorial
[15:22] <kazznap> godzilla taught michael jackson everything he knew
[15:23] <Niku> especially the parts about the little boys in the tiny shorts
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on March 25, 2010, 07:13:48 PM
Frocto: when you combine Helium with Manganese
Frocto: the compound formed is the most powerful compound in the universe
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on March 25, 2010, 07:24:30 PM
fuck you detonator that quote is fucking hilarious
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on March 25, 2010, 07:33:50 PM
detonatornova: you come to vent, it's better
Frocto: fuck no vent has geo
detonatornova: you can hop on and say "hello boys and girls, this is fried octopus" or whatever you say
detonatornova: you are just afraid that if you actually talked to Geo you couldn't demonize him anymore because he's actually a cool guy
Frocto: sorry, I HAVE to post that in the quotes thread
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 06, 2010, 08:50:58 PM
<+Kazz> Furries thrive in the dark, damp corners of the internet
<+Kazz> In fact, they make them damper.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 07, 2010, 05:54:23 AM
Analogies (http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_pages/analogies.html)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on April 11, 2010, 12:15:10 PM
I have hated that list for years, and here's why.

Quote
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. -Russell Beland, Springfield

Quote
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. - Douglas Adams
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on April 11, 2010, 12:44:59 PM
I knew that quote was almost directly lifted from Adams. I thought it was much more direct from describing Zaphod's boat, though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on April 15, 2010, 09:57:36 PM
<Thor> Right, once I get a girl to stop on the street
<Thor> I'm gonna be like, "YOU KNOCK ME OFFA MY FEET"
<Thor> And then the local bums and street people will rush behind me for synchronized wingman dance
<Thor> doh, brb
<Malikial> heeehehehe
<Joxie> what is wrong with you two!?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on April 21, 2010, 12:06:37 AM
<Zeus> http://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/81/MPW-40766
<Zeus> Man that looks so cheesy :D
<Zeus> I can't believe there was actually a movie called Africa-Texas Style!
<Zeus> It sounds like a Sarah Palin speech
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on April 27, 2010, 11:54:40 PM
<Romosome> yeah
<Romosome> well
<Romosome> when you hit 5 years
<Romosome> you just get a company sword
<Romosome> as like
<Romosome> a seniority thing
<Romosome> it's a trophy
<Romosome> it's just like, a sword
<Romosome> not from any of the games
<Romosome> it's cool
<Friday> "Romo, how long have you worked for blizzard?" "3/8"
<Romosome> what
<Romosome> hahaha
<Friday> "5 more years and I get the shoulders for the +10 energy bonus"
<Romosome> :D
<Romosome> at 5 you get a sword
<Romosome> at 10 you get a shield
<Romosome> and at 15 you get a ring
<Romosome> no joke
<Friday> what, really?
<Romosome> yes
<Friday> hahaha.
<Friday> what.
<Friday> fucking
<Romosome> :D
<Friday> at 20 do you get drawn into the lower planes and eaten by the Blizzard god
<Romosome> I don't think Blizzard IS 20 yet
<Romosome> so MAYBE!

Blizzard is 20 next year so we find out then
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 28, 2010, 02:16:55 AM
My money is on succubus.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 29, 2010, 06:56:41 PM
Alleged child's answers to exam questions:

Quote
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Don't care if it's a complete fake, because I am totally dying of laughter here, after which I will be dead until proven otherwise.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 01, 2010, 04:54:10 PM
My ridiculous Hipster friend, justifying the purchase of yet another $7000* bicycle: "... and it's fully vertically compliant and laterally stiff!"

(Yes, I made obvious rejoinder that I also met these exacting technical specifications).

*In fairness, he got it for $3000
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on May 01, 2010, 05:06:11 PM
"... and it's fully vertically complaint and laterally stiff!"

My bike also complains when I try to ride it vertically.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on May 02, 2010, 08:18:04 AM
Frocto: http://pics.livejournal.com/dezig/pic/005whp27
Bouncing Ada: Who's that last gal?
Frocto: she's from hokuto musou
Bouncing Ada: Huh.
Frocto: what?
Bouncing Ada: That game does not seem to have an N. America release
Frocto: are you surprised
Bouncing Ada: Sorta....
Bouncing Ada: It's Fist of the North Star
Bouncing Ada: Why wouldn't it?
Frocto: yeah I mean
Frocto: i remember the releases all the movies got
Frocto: oh wait
Bouncing Ada: There were more than one?
Frocto: hahaha
Bouncing Ada: ...
Bouncing Ada: I see your point.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 04, 2010, 06:23:37 AM
From the Afghan culture instructor who came to teach my reserve unit this weekend:

Quote
When I first come to this country several years ago, I am in San Diego, and I see two women with their dogs on the beach. They say, "Oh how cute! How cute!". Now, I am from Afghanistan. I live through three wars. When I was a boy, the government would pay us to collect dogs and send them into minefields. So when I see a dog, I don't think "How cute!". I think "BOOM!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on May 04, 2010, 02:50:29 PM
Quote
Josh: lol
       thats sounds delicious as shit
me: it would be my last meal
Josh: mine would be whatever the person in front of me ate in the human centipede
       so i guess it would be shit
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 06, 2010, 02:02:43 PM
[18:47] MadMaxJR: Programmer vs. Programmer - This summer in movie theaters
[18:48] MadMaxJR: One has a Laser powered by Ruby on Rails, the other is entirely constructed of Assembler code. WHO WILL WIN?
[18:48] zaratustra00: ruby will burn through until he has to garbage collect
[18:49] MadMaxJR: Assembler man will bit-shift his heart.
[18:49] MadMaxJR: These sound like awesome/awful Mega Man villains.
[18:49] MadMaxJR: Programmer langauge men
[18:49] zaratustra00: meshgearfox has been working on a boolean rpg for like twenty years now
[18:49] zaratustra00: Ruby Man, Lua Man
[18:50] zaratustra00: Python Man
[18:50] zaratustra00: ruby man hates python man
[18:50] zaratustra00: they have a fight
[18:50] MadMaxJR: Assembler Man, the oldest
[18:50] MadMaxJR: His entire stage is binary
[18:50] zaratustra00: Fortran Man
[18:50] MadMaxJR: Fortran man can't loop so all his actions are unique.
[18:50] zaratustra00: Ada Man - stage: colossal battleship
[18:50] MadMaxJR: er, wrong, fortran can't recurse
[18:50] zaratustra00: get equipped with - character outside ascii
[18:51] MadMaxJR: COBOL man
[18:51] zaratustra00: Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
[18:51] zaratustra00: A: Yes
[18:51] MadMaxJR: Get equipped with 80 char line tractor feed paper
[18:51] zaratustra00: Lisp Man
[18:51] zaratustra00: get equipped with: Parentheses Storm
[18:51] MadMaxJR: Python Man - get equipped with SPACE BAR
[18:52] MadMaxJR: or perhaps TAB KEY
[18:52] MadMaxJR: since indent controls looping
[18:52] MadMaxJR: JAVA MAN - loading......
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] zaratustra00: Get equipped with Dictionary Indent
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] MadMaxJR: loading
[18:52] MadMaxJR: ...
[18:52] zaratustra00: C# Man is just Java Man with a hat
[18:53] zaratustra00: C++ man
[18:53] MadMaxJR: Java man requires megaman to download the java runtime library. Accept?
[18:53] MadMaxJR: clicking no is auto win
[18:53] zaratustra00: get equipped with ARRAY OVERFLOW
[18:53] MadMaxJR: C++ man SEGFAULT BUSTER
[18:53] zaratustra00: C++ man's weapon can and will crash your game
[18:53] zaratustra00: repeatedly
[18:53] zaratustra00: for months
[18:53] MadMaxJR: GameMaker script man - no, just no, don't even pick this level
[18:54] zaratustra00: KNP Man - get equipped with Bouncing Ball
[18:56] MadMaxJR: BASIC MAN. get equipped with GOTO 10 (level restarts, infinite trap)
[18:56] zaratustra00: get equiped with ??redo from start
[18:56] MadMaxJR: VISUAL BASIC MAN. This is an auto-megaman level, you have to draw windows forums for him to run on.


Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on May 09, 2010, 06:33:29 AM
CM8: I WILL FUCK YOU UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOUR TRUE AGE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on May 22, 2010, 06:07:46 PM
...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on May 25, 2010, 08:14:57 AM
She's almost entirely out of uniform.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Envy on May 30, 2010, 06:06:37 PM
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Detonator on May 30, 2010, 06:11:41 PM
Yeesh, are we just posting 13 year old urban legends (http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp) now?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Envy on May 30, 2010, 06:25:22 PM
Well guess I dont spend enough time on the net looking to prove things I find neat or interesting false.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 30, 2010, 06:45:00 PM
Well guess I dont spend enough time on the net looking to prove things I find neat or interesting false.

and that is why you loooooose :dance:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on May 30, 2010, 08:19:43 PM
And that is why I get annoyed whenever people try and inform me that "We only use about 10% of our brains, anyway", or that guys "Totally think about sex every 7 seconds"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Fortinbras on May 30, 2010, 10:20:56 PM
you have a very good avatar for saying that, Constantine.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 04, 2010, 10:50:07 PM
Well guess I dont spend enough time on the net looking to prove things I find neat or interesting false.

Yeah, why should you bother checking Snopes when you can just forward an E-Mail on to every single person in your address book?

You, sir, are everything that is wrong with the Internet.




Moving on.

Overheard at a Diamondbacks game:

Boy: I say I'm in J-R high school.  So it's junior high school.  But it SOUNDS like I'm in high school.
Other boy: Ha, yeah, we're like midgets in high school.
Girl: Do you know that's offensive?  Midget?
Boy: To who -- HOMOS?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 04, 2010, 10:52:51 PM
In a way that is the best retort possible.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on June 05, 2010, 06:48:24 AM
If high school is a step up for you, yes it is.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on June 06, 2010, 09:26:15 AM
Quote
Bat-Call-list:
Nightwing - unavailable - (Too busy engaging in orgy... of crime-fighting)
Flashes - unavailable - (Too busy GOING FAST)
Green Arrow - Blocked - (I don't feel like listening to his endless rants over and over again)
Superman - unavailable - (Too busy with his wife, dog, and family. Might as well be called Superdad)
Question - Unavailable - (Too busy being a LESBIAN)
Batwoman - Unavailable - (See Above)
Booster Gold - Unavailable - (Michael has too great of a responsiblity anyway)
Blue Beetle - Unavailable - (Feel sorry for the kid. Another one of his Titan friends died.)
Robin - Unavailable - (DAMN IT ROBIN, YOU DO NOT HAVE GAY SEX AFTER THE FUNERAL OF ONE OF YOUR FORMER TEAMMATES!)
Aquaman - Unavailable - (Too busy going on some multiuniversal journey)
Solid Snake - Available - (No. That would require me to be written by Miller. Not worth the cost.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on June 07, 2010, 01:11:21 PM
[16:07] <Doomykins> You know who hasn't been here in awhile? R^2.
[16:07] * R^2 (R^away@74-60-214-31.gar.clearwire-wmx.net) has joined #finalfight
[16:07] <Doomykins> D: D: D: D:
[16:08] <Lottel> D:
[16:08] <Lottel> HE'S A WITCH
[16:08] <R^2> Hullo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on June 08, 2010, 07:17:36 PM
Quote
I am not really getting how making a Starblazers music video to a Who song in 1982 is a DIY statement of punk rock rebellion against the peace and love 60s. I've seen that music video, and at no point is there a big title card reading, "THIS IS A STATEMENT OF REBELLION AGAINST THE PEACE AND LOVE OF THE 1960S". The statement I got was "I listen to a lot of classic rock and have a lot of time on my hands and some video equipment."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 09, 2010, 04:01:48 PM
<@JDigital> My headphones broke, but I really wanted to play tf2
<@JDigital> so I held them on my head with a pair of underpants
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on June 09, 2010, 04:35:23 PM
VALVE, ARE YOU LISTENING? NEW HAT! BEST HAT!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on June 11, 2010, 12:55:41 AM
From Twitter:

 BPGlobalPR
 This seems like an awful lot of fuss over something that's not a celebrity sex scandal. #getoverit
about 7 hours ago via web
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 14, 2010, 05:46:45 PM
<Niku> man when are they going to confirm that rumor that Dr. Wily is in MVC3
<Niku> i need this to happen
<Brentai> Niku's got needs.
<Brentai> Wily needs.
<Friday> Brentai's got needs.
<Nerdlinger> I need Firebrand in Mvc3
<Friday> Sigma needs.
<Nerdlinger> Neeeeeeeed it
<Smiler> Brentai's got nards
<Niku> RIP AND TEAR
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 14, 2010, 09:09:47 PM
Quote from: guy in Cnet comments section
Safari was passed by Chrome MONTHS ago... it will be for computer
it will better than other

So when I start saying "IT WILL BETTER THAN OTHER" at every possible opportunity, you will know why.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 15, 2010, 08:46:00 PM
<@Friday> Roger
<@Friday> You're getting dominated by Bart in a dress
<@Friday> 0-6
<@Friday> Go vote for yourself or something
<Brentai> ...
<Brentai> fap
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 16, 2010, 05:31:23 AM
Quote from: Shigeru Miyamoto
'Cats are a lot like girls. If they come talk to you, it's great, but if you go talk to them, it doesn't always go so well.'
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 21, 2010, 12:44:41 PM
Quote from: /co/
ugh guys i just had the worst idea

what if andrew hussie died before finishing homestruck

what if he got killed in a carcrash on the cusp of an update

I know it's unlikely but just the possibility of homestuck STOPPING and never finding out what happens makes me physically sick to my stomach

Quote from: /co/
Now you know what it's like to be a Douglas Adams fan.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 22, 2010, 03:09:23 AM
<Moebius> The vuvuzela was originally designed as a bee countermeasure, convincing the bees that they were already swarming an area
<Stush> Oh man. :D
<Envy|MH3> !bees
<+Haruhi> ___()()
<+Haruhi> <`(_____)--
<+Ridley> stush moe saying something with a straight face and sounding knowledgable doesn't always mean it's true
<+Ridley> citation needed
<Stush> I wasn't going Oh man about that.
<Stush> I was just thinking of the aliens in district 9 going nuts and killing everyone because they're sick of the vuvuzelas
<+Ridley> hahahahaha
<+Ridley> I hated that movie
<Stush> You dislike everything that's good
<Stush> Because you're an angry banana
<MetalSlime> You just been Stushed
<+Ridley> This is not true at all here are at least two reasons why it is not true 1 district 9 is not good 2 i am not a banana
<+Ridley> end rebuttal
<MetalSlime> I think your argument needs to have...
* MetalSlime shades
<MetalSlime> more appeal
<+Haruhi> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on June 22, 2010, 10:10:25 AM
[13:59] <A_race_of_savage_mantis-men> I find it amazing how butt your butts are, Stush.
[13:59] <Stush> I'll butt you, fatwagon
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 24, 2010, 05:24:16 PM
<JDigital> All settlers were offered an acre of land wherever they wanted, so Drain took a long thin strip on both sides of a major river
<@Squizzle> Two strips, you mean.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on June 24, 2010, 05:38:58 PM
I'm not sure I follow. Why would he need two strips?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on June 24, 2010, 07:03:21 PM
There's a river.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on June 27, 2010, 12:40:58 AM
"One of these days, I'll get a cape. Then I'll be one of those guys who has a cape."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 27, 2010, 04:38:54 AM
Quote
Princess  Ada says:
 Thirty white horses on a red hill,
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still
carcinoGeneticist says:
   :OoO:
Princess  Ada says:
 It's a riddle.
carcinoGeneticist says:
 I figured it was.
Princess  Ada says:
 Any guesses?
carcinoGeneticist says:
 uhh
 the japanese flag
Princess  Ada says:
 Nope!
 The answer is....
 Teeth.
carcinoGeneticist says:
 oh
 now I understand
Princess  Ada says:
 How about another?
 I drive men mad
For love of me,
Easily beaten,
Never free.
carcinoGeneticist says:
 shore
 video games
   :whoops:
Princess  Ada says:
 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 I love that answer!
 The answer is actually "Gold" but I'll give it to you!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 30, 2010, 05:39:51 PM
<@Silversong> !haiku for Espers
<Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: this is not your room / food, not for you, but for who? / We are not amused.
<Espernauts> man
* Espernauts is now known as Esperath
<Esperath> !haiku for silversong
<Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: please eat a penis / communications breakdown / you motherfucker
<Esperath> ...
<Esperath> gosh
<Esperath> the dangers of haiku
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on July 01, 2010, 06:03:12 PM
It's only kind of self-quoting!

[19:00:50] <Brentai> Brentai vs. Apathy, Round 2
[19:00:57] *** Silversong is now known as Apathy
[19:01:11] * @Apathy drapes herself about Brentai's shoulders
[19:01:13] <Brentai> Well this is just sort of uncomfortable.
[19:01:28] <@Apathy> Come now brenty, you don't really want to do anything useful tonight, do you?
[19:01:44] <Brentai> I dunno, are you something useful?
[19:01:49] <@Apathy> ...
[19:01:51] *** Apathy is now known as Silversong
[19:01:56] <@Silversong> I never learn, do I.
[19:02:04] <Upthorn> Brentai 1 Apathy 0
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on July 01, 2010, 06:04:17 PM
Who won round 1?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on July 01, 2010, 06:05:31 PM
Eh, who cares?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on July 01, 2010, 06:31:17 PM
I guess that answers that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 01, 2010, 07:28:00 PM
OK, but only if I get to be player Brentai.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lady Duke on July 06, 2010, 11:14:42 PM
[03:04] * @Friday has sex with a walrus.
[03:04] <Brentai> am... am i a walrus
[03:05] <@Friday> you are the walrus.
[03:06] <Lottel> koo koo kachoo
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 14, 2010, 07:45:35 AM
WWII Makes for a pretty crappy movie (http://squid314.livejournal.com/275614.html)

:lol:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on July 17, 2010, 05:20:12 PM
Quote
You see, I have friends in the adult entertainment industry. I see none of you are surprised. Anyway, shortly after the first X-Men film came out, one of my friends in the adult entertainment industry was talking to me about stuff and asking me (since I was a "comic book guy") about X-Men and the like.

So I mention Claremont and she pauses... "Wait, this Chris Claremont guy is the guy who wrote X-Men?"

"Yes."

So then she tells me a story. You see, Claremont hangs around the outskirts of the BDSM scene. Anyone who has read enough of his work probably shouldn't be surprised by this. Anyway, it appears that he once hired a Dominatrix friend of my friend to: a) Dress like Storm and then b) fist him savagely. Apparently, he's had several people do this. My friend never understood the connection and just assumed it was a geek thing. I've had this story indepedently confirmed by one big name comics creator and one comics journalist.

Since that evening, whenever I've been tempted to go on a rant about how Claremont can't write, ect.. I just think of Claremont grunting away at his computer, writing his latest magnum opus, probably involving hot mind control action, fetishwear and lesbian tenticle sex; while a young woman dressed as Storm and making a thousand bucks an hour rams her rubber-gloved hand directly up his ass repeatedly.

Somehow, this usually makes everything better.

http://moonandserpent.livejournal.com/166978.html?thread=568642 (http://moonandserpent.livejournal.com/166978.html?thread=568642)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on July 18, 2010, 10:30:50 AM
Eka: Nobody is too cool for rape.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on July 18, 2010, 12:01:25 PM
<Rygaron> I need to see if I can turn my dryer to the lowest settings and make it into a kitty torture chamber.
<Rygaron> For when my cat makes me hold the door open for ten fucking minutes while it decides if it wants to go out / in.
<Stush> Haha
<Zeus> Just make your kitten play M&B
<Zeus> And start out in the Khergit Khaninante
<Zeus> "These fucking horsement!" "I know, Kitty, I know. But you deserve it."
<Zeus> Horsemen, even
<Zeus> Chalk it off to cats not being able to type well
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on July 19, 2010, 11:16:39 AM
Quote
tegan says:
  Oh.
  I think everyone from TGWTG is annoying, to be honest.
Princess  Ada says:
  In different degrees yes.
tegan says:
  Even the Nostalgia Critic himself isn't a critic in any sense of the word.
  His reviews are entirely too "safe".
  Same problems as any other retro reviewer.
  Nobody really watches their reviews for their antics. Nobody actually registers what they're saying. They watch the reviews because "hey this is a thing I already know is bad and having somebody reassure me that it is bad entertains me".
  I mean, he review The Room, for fuck's sake.
  That's not even nostalgic.
  It's a shitty movie that is ONLY watched BECAUSE it is a shitty movie.
Princess  Ada says:
  Huh. Now that I think about it, yeah, that is a pretty moronic thing to do. I mean, I already knew that reviewing the Room was stupid, precisely for that reason.
  But caving to fan demand is pretty weak-willed of him.
tegan says:
  If your audience is watching because they want to see somebody get angry at shitty movies, why not stick exclusively to movies that are so old that everyone and their dog already knows that they're shitty? It also means that you don't have to do the job of an actual critic and make informed decisions that influence ticket or video sales; because the movies you're reviewing aren't on the market.
  I expect his house is covered in trophy fish that he shot on his many hunting expeditions to exotic barrels.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on August 01, 2010, 08:40:28 PM
[00:33] <Lottel> But my dick does nothing but smile
[00:33] <Ridley> that's even more terrifying
[00:33] <Ridley> make your dick show its rape face.
[00:34] <R2> 8===:D
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on August 03, 2010, 11:51:11 PM
 <+Aoko> (12:44:54 AM) Brentai: Oh damn it you have multiple AIM nicks too.
<+Aoko> (12:45:07 AM) WAHA!: I think at last count there was 200
<+Aoko> (12:45:10 AM) WAHA!: but I lost the pw for most
<+Aoko> (12:45:20 AM) Brentai: You are terrible.
<+Aoko> (12:45:27 AM) Offering to send HK.rar to Brentai
<+Aoko> (12:45:28 AM) Brentai: A terrible human person.
<+Aoko> (12:45:30 AM) WAHA!: why
<+Aoko> (12:45:45 AM) Brentai: AIMing you is like an Easter Egg hunt.
<+Aoko> (12:45:48 AM) Brentai: Through a pile of moe.
<+Aoko> (12:46:03 AM) WAHA!: so moe~
<+Aoko> I laughed. :(
<Brentai> Hey I didn't get any message about that file.
<Brentai> TRILLIAAAAAAN
<@Romosome> every so often Lyrai will change nicks to a character I find sexually attractive and when I first see it I'll be like WHOA HEY before realizing it's her and stopping myself out of self-preservation
<JD> moe moe
<Brentai> Okay that did it.
<@Romosome> Saturn yeah
<+Ridley> I miss the days when everyone I knew just quietly had an FTP server on their system and used those for file transfers
* Brentai is now known as Rukia-chan
<Rukia-chan> You are now confused and aroused.
* @Romosome squints
<Rukia-chan> YOU FOOL.
* Rukia-chan kicks Romosome in the face.
<@Romosome> it's just like charlie brown/my childhood!
* Aoko is now known as Arcueid
<@Romosome> if you guys turn this into a contest it's going to get fucking weird really fast
<Rukia-chan> I uh, I don't know what Romosome's other tastes are.
<Rukia-chan> I'll just go with my own I guess.
* Rukia-chan is now known as Angelica_Pickles
<Angelica_Pickles> I MEAN WAIT NO
* Angelica_Pickles is now known as Mary-Kate_Olsen
<Mary-Kate_Olsen> FUCK
* Mary-Kate_Olsen is now known as Mrs_Crabapple
<Mrs_Crabapple> TURN IT OOOOOOOFFF
* Mrs_Crabapple is now known as Chu-Chu
* Chu-Chu is now known as JessieFromToyStory
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 08, 2010, 10:55:26 AM
From Hyperbole and a Half's test blog.

Quote
Here's Where I'll Put an Unnecessarily Long Title
This is where I'll go "blah, blah, blah... fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm cold" and then I'll maybe show you a picture that I made in Paint.  Then maybe I'll talk about some other stuff and then I'll talk about even more stuff and pretty soon you'll be like "this has to be wrapping up pretty soon..." but it won't.

It will just be a new paragraph.  And then I'll go off on some tangent where I make all sorts of disturbing and barely relevant analogies most likely involving either diabetes, rabies or Jesus and you'll be like "what were we talking about again?" and you probably won't ever be able to figure that out because guess what? I don't even know what we're talking about.  It's probably wolves.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 08, 2010, 01:59:59 PM
Quote
you can tell when you're in someone else's dream because the donut has sprinkles
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 11, 2010, 03:02:40 AM
Oh this is too good.

Chris Poole explains 4chan slang to federal prosecutors (http://gawker.com/5609419/4chan-founder-tries-to-explain-b+tard-to-federal-prosecutors)

EDIT: Full transcript (http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/poole-testimony.pdf)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 11, 2010, 11:08:01 AM
idk my b-tard jill
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 11, 2010, 08:38:53 PM
<JDigital> has anyone played a game called Mercenaries 2
<MetalSlime> yes
<JDigital> do you know the Irish helicopter pilot
<MetalSlime> yes
<JDigital> I just want you to know that real irish people do not sound like this
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 13, 2010, 03:10:06 AM
Quote
(An elderly woman well into her 70s comes through the check-out line with a single bottle of wine. I start to scan the bottle through.)

Customer: “Wait! Aren’t you going to check my ID?”

Me: “Er, no, ma’am, I don’t think it’s really necessary…”

Customer: “Well, that’s no good! You should check all ID if you’re selling alcohol.”

Me: “Well, okay. May I see your ID, please?”

(She hands over an ID card that is obviously fake.)

Me: “…ma’am, this card says you’re seventeen.”

Customer: “Oh, dear! You’ve caught me! I’m much too young to be buying this! It’s a good thing you were checking IDs. I’d better just go now! *skips out the door*

Me: “…”

This makes me anxious to be elderly so I can start messing with clerks like this.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on August 14, 2010, 04:14:07 PM
:D
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 18, 2010, 12:26:06 PM
[4:21] <zara> there will be dlc
[4:21] <zara> with extra things to stab
[4:21] <aintaer> meats
[4:21] <aintaer> walls
[4:21] <aintaer> candles
[4:22] <zara> you stabbed 100 objects
[4:22] <zara> you a master stabber
[4:22] <aintaer> You have gone 10 minutes without stabbing something
[4:22] <aintaer> Congratulations on your Stabbatical
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on August 18, 2010, 02:12:51 PM
This was a sketch for a new game project (Adventures of Friday: Friday Goes Stabbing: Volume One)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 18, 2010, 09:46:20 PM
<+Kazz> shit i don't know where i am
<@Friday> Kazz, check to see if you're still at your computer, in your room.
<+Kazz> ok
<@Friday> I sometimes get confused, too.
<+Kazz> yes
<+Kazz> here's my wax statue of friday
<@Friday> shit
<+Kazz> here's my pile of used tissues
<+Kazz> i must be home
* @Friday sighs heavily
<@Friday> I'm lost
<@Friday> Oh here we go
<@Friday> Hey guys
<@Friday> I'm playing diablo
<Brentai> > YOU ARE IN KAZZ'S ROOM.  A PUNGENT AROMA HITS YOU LIKE A HUGE MASSIVE 800 POUND GORILLA WITH ITS BLACK MONKEY DICK THROBBING RIGHT IN THE OPEN.
<@Friday> > inven
<Brentai> YOU ARE HOLDING: A CAPTAIN CONDOM, NO SENSE OF SELF RESPECT
<@Friday> > Drop no sense of self respect
<Brentai> YOU NOW HAVE NO NO SENSE OF SELF RESPECT
<@Friday> > weild condom
<Brentai> YOU WELD THE CONDOM TO YOUR NIPPLES
<@Friday> > log onto IRC
<Brentai> > YOU ARE IN #FINALFIGHT.  A PUNGENT AROMA HITS YOU LIKE A HUGE MASSIVE 800 POUND GORILLA WITH ITS BLACK MONKEY DICK THROBBING RIGHT IN THE OPEN.
* notKazz (zibabh@cpe-76-179-236-105.maine.res.rr.com) has joined #finalfight
<Brentai> > NOTKAZZ HAS JOINED #FINALFIGHT.  A PUNGENT AROMA HITS YOU LIKE A HUGE MASSIVE 800 POUND GORILLA WITH ITS BLACK MONKEY DICK THROBBING RIGHT IN THE OPEN.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on August 27, 2010, 11:49:21 AM
(12:37:10 PM) BongoBill: I think this week I'll replace all commercial breaks with "Good Idea, Bad Idea" segments.
(12:37:19 PM) laserbeing: good idea
(12:37:20 PM) Lyrai: <+Ridley> the guys I knew with asperger's talked about their furry naruto/starcraft slash fanfiction.
(12:37:20 PM) Lyrai: {Friday, August 27th, 2010 11:53:36am Fa'Diel} <MetalSlime> You're lucky Lyrai doesn't appear to be here
(12:37:20 PM) Lyrai: {Friday, August 27th, 2010 11:53:46am Fa'Diel} <MetalSlime> or that fanfiction would be reproduced
(12:37:23 PM) Ridley: bad idea
(12:37:23 PM) Lyrai: !!!!!!!!!!
(12:37:27 PM) mode (+v Lyrai) by ChanServ
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 27, 2010, 04:55:33 PM
My friend on the sex scene that was put back into Avatar for the re-release: "I'm an immigrant, so all of my sex is alien sex."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 29, 2010, 10:56:55 PM
<MarsDragon> Hey, in P3P....I'm just starting October. I've polished off a bunch of S-Links, and right now biggest priority is Star. I haven't started Hanged Man at all, but it seems the ultimate there is a requirement for Mara. Is it worth it to ignore all potential girlfriends to hang out with a little girl so I can get in touch with my inner giant dick?
<Lottel> little girl... touch... my... giant... dick
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 30, 2010, 07:31:07 AM
Best ad tagline for wargames miniatures:

Quote from: some Napoleonic wargames supplier
Reinforcements delivered by post. Reinforcements arrive discreetly to your door; the enemy will not be informed.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 02, 2010, 02:56:28 AM
The Grim Reaper: Kilo-214 what would you do if you had dick ants?
Kilo-214: I would probably have a dick ant hill.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 02, 2010, 05:32:06 AM
Via Facebook: "It used to be when you said "I'm a Christian." it meant "I'm loyal, I'm honest, I'm truthfull." Now people hear "I'm a dull minded bigot." I thing homosexuality is wrong, I think having children are wrong, and I think islam hates us. If that makes me dull minded or narrow minded, so be it....."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on September 02, 2010, 07:59:33 AM
I can't tell if that is honest or not.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 02, 2010, 09:20:19 AM
I don't think an actual Christian is going to say that having children is wrong.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on September 02, 2010, 09:30:47 AM
TRUE Christians are sometimes defined by an exciting ignorance of the canon. He is probably talking about outside of marriage or someting.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 02, 2010, 09:56:55 AM
That's copypasted, unaltered, from Facebook. The writer has not clarified the children thing to me. But while I'm not about to argue with that kind of logic, I will hold it up for public ridicule.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 05, 2010, 05:38:13 PM
[9:14] <guild> i'm going to make cookies
[9:15] <aintaer> death cookies
[9:15] <guild> oatmeal actually
[9:15] <+Ridley> yum
[9:21] <Parak> oatmeal DEVASTATION cookies
[9:32] <guild> with RASINS


idk why that made me crack up but it did

esp the way guild misspells raisins
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 06, 2010, 09:05:17 PM
<Low-G-Ham> the Rearmed 2 art kind of just makes me want to play a game about a bad-ass rogue park ranger
<Stush> Hahah
<Low-G-Ham> "Littering? Not on MY watch!" (missile launcher)
<Stush> Like a GTA style game, but set in a huge national park.
<Low-G-Ham> Yeah
<Low-G-Ham> you can ride bears and so forth
<Frocto> well hey there you young fellas you best not be causing trouble or I'ma have to git REARMED on you asses
<Stush> And you have to go around and stop people from littering, save animals, take on hunters.
<Stush> But there'd be no guns.
<Low-G-Ham> prevent forest fires
<Stush> You'd just be this super burly dude.
<Frocto> mmm, burl
<Stush> With a huge mustache.
<Nerd> Yogi makes off with the picnic basket.  1 star
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 09, 2010, 08:49:20 AM
rogerpyoko: Hi Frocto
rogerpyoko: how is life
Frocto: pretty ok
Frocto: got my homework article written up
Frocto: it's about mice
rogerpyoko: Mice are cuties
Frocto: this is about their euthenasia
rogerpyoko: That's not cute :o
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 11, 2010, 09:11:46 PM
Frocto: anyway lunch time :)
Frocto: then I'm gonna make fun of indy games
DetonatorNova: are you gonna make fun of them based on youtube videos instead of playing them
Frocto:  shit there's an idea
DetonatorNova: take it one step further
DetonatorNova: full opinionated reviews
Frocto: then I'd be as cool as geothermal
DetonatorNova: let's not get crazy here

GarlicBug: There was this great comment on one of the goofy Moonbase Alpha voice chat videos
GarlicBug: It was something like 'if you filmed an ant colony and translated what they were saying I bet it would sound just like this
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 14, 2010, 07:00:20 PM
<Stush> You know the most annoying thing about dying?
<Stush> I won't be able to think up a witty thing to put on my tombstone.
<Frocto> the killing stops
<Frocto> just put *hugs* on it
<Frocto> I think I'll just get an open hand, asking for high-fives
<Stush> Oooh
<Stush> Have an arm sticking out the side of your tombstone!
<Stush> In a high five position.
<Frocto> people would break it off and do weird things with it
<Stush> Put explosives inside of it.
<Stush> If the circuit is cut it goes off.
<Stush> Oh wait, no
<Stush> Put the explosives under your body!
<Stush> So if they break off the arm, your body flies out of the grave and crushes them.
<Frocto> I'm not sure it's worth detonating my mortal remains just to stop people stealing my post-mortum high-fiving arm
<Stush> Frocto, seriously, it is.
<Stush> I wanna donate my mortal remains to science.
<Stush> They can like shoot it out of a cannon or something.
<Stush> By science I mean mythbusters.
<Frocto> :)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on September 16, 2010, 10:13:38 AM
Frocto well, you know how it is with asians
ggg flat flabby bootys
ggg slightly cold
ggg and bush that wraps around to the mid-spine
ggg and the tail
Frocto I think that's dogs
ggg oh yeah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 18, 2010, 07:49:23 PM
<+Kazz> AM I GAYER THAN I AM FAT, OR FATTER THAN I AM GAY?!?  *CRISIS*
<@Friday> That question is actually impossible to answer.
<@Friday> Your fat is so vast that it would seem to dwarf any imaginary amount of gay, but then, you are so dick-suckingly homosexual.
<@Friday> Like.
<@Friday> Admit it.
<@Friday> You have twenty dicks.
<@Friday> In your mouth. Right now.
<Jox> He's worse than frocto!
<+Kazz> nineteen
<+Kazz> one of the guys had to go to sunday school
<R^2> <Kazz> GENTLEMEN.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 23, 2010, 12:02:32 AM
<@Friday> what is this chronoboost shit
<+Kayin> Friday: temporarily doubles build speeds.
<+Esperath> it's the protoss macro booster thing
<+Kayin> It charges up at the nexus
<+Skulrai> Friday: Every 50 energy, you can pretend to release a third game, but instead you C&D the other player to stop that shit
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 26, 2010, 11:32:24 PM
Frocto: http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/73/krystalispissedatchubyt.png (http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/73/krystalispissedatchubyt.png) this is funny
endrildarkwood: I am not your fantasy girl I am just
endrildarkwood: so humongously fat
endrildarkwood: that I can't even roll around
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on September 27, 2010, 03:29:01 AM
[INFO] [CONSOLE] zedpower you should record a christmas classics CD for the boards and send it to everyone.
[INFO] [CONSOLE] Zedpower Sings The Classics
[INFO] <ZedPower> dude don't say that, you kind of want to make me do it
[INFO] <AdventureJones> Get zara on board too
[INFO] <AdventureJones> Instant platnum
[INFO] [CONSOLE] I'm glad i'm not the only one that can't spell
[INFO] <ZedPower> "Foreign nerds sing Christmas!" Oh yeah, I can see it flying off store shelves.
[INFO] [CONSOLE] but yes, zara would be awesome also!
[INFO] <ZedPower> no doubt, heh
[INFO] <AdventureJones> I'd buy it at least
[INFO] [CONSOLE] I'd buy two copies!
[INFO] <AdventureJones> Wait no! I'd buy fifteen copies and give them as christmas presants to everyone I know.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 29, 2010, 03:29:14 PM
"You look like somebody kicked your dog!" "For certain values of 'kicked', yes..."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 02, 2010, 07:27:30 AM
<Inkstud> Have you seen Wheat Thins' latest advertising campaign? Basically, they're a series of TV spots revolving around the idea that the Wheat Thins company watches Twitter for people writing about Wheat Thins on their account, and then drives a truck to their house to give them a lifetime supply of the things.
<Inkstud> For example, there's an ad where some guy posts "Picking my air guitar with a Wheat Thin," on Twitter and the Wheat Thins crew surprises him at his house with a forklift full of Wheat Thins.
<Inkstud> I decided that tomorrow I'm going to post, throughout the day, a series of status updates on Facebook that are sort of in a similar vein. Today, instead of working I've been coming up with statuses for tomorrow. Here are a few:
<Inkstud> 1) Wheat Thins'™ single flaw: they're not Wheat Thicks
<Inkstud> 2) findin ti diffivult too simulgotneusly type annd shoveel w heat thijns™ into my m mouuth with bth hands
<Inkstud> 3) Imagine a city where the streets were paved with Wheat Thins™ and a watery Wheat Thin™ slurry cascaded from every sparkling fountain. Just imagine it
<Inkstud> 4) The five second rule always applies for dropped food. Unless it's a delicious Wheat Thin™ , in which case the five-decade rule should be substituted instead
<Inkstud> 5) Fiat money is worthless! Hyperinflation is on the way! Buy gold now! Wake up, America! Stock up on non-perishable food and bottled water! The U.S. Dollar is just paper with no inherent value! Now on the other hand, imagine with me an economy that instead utilized a currency of Wheat Thins™
<Inkstud> come up with Twitter updates about Wheat Thins that I can post tomorrow.
<Slearch> 2 is fantastic
<rider> I once was in a competition with my roomate to see who would be first to eat their weight in cheez-its. Along those lines:
<rider> 1) If you tried to eat your weight in wheat thins, how many extra pounds would you have to eat because of the weight you gained in the process?
<Inkstud> Unsuspecting Fan Gets Truckload of Wheat Thins (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okk04JqRRn8#ws)
<Inkstud> c'mon boys who's next
<barks> The only thing that saves me from suicide when contemplating the horrible desperation that is life is knowing that I will be able to eat Wheat Thins™ tomorrow
<artificial> GIVE ME A FUCKING FORKLIFT FULL OF WHEAT THINGS GOD DAMN THAT WOULD BE SWEET
<rider> Contemplating how many boxes of wheat thins it takes to wallpaper my bedroom.
<rider> Wheat thins, greatest snack ever, or greatest snack that ever will be?
<rider> If I were on a desert isle, and had only one wish, it would be for all the wheat thins I could eat... Water can suck it!
<rider> Wheat thins, they're Thintacular!
<rider> Meet twins with Wheat Thins!
<rider> Wheat thins, sorta rhymes with Ethan. Ethan wins wheat thins (and twins?)
<slearch> do not use rider's
<rider> Fair enough. I guess I'll stop.
<Inkstud> I like his first one
<barks> The best thing about Wheat Thins™ is that my uncle has celiac disease. YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY, CAN YOU.
<Xyre> I am using Wheat Thins to make it rain on them hos.
<Inkstud> Hmm, my girlfriend's been asking a lot of questions about what I'm doing when I'm not with her lately. (whispers to box of Wheat Thins™) I think she suspects
<JBH> If Hitler had Wheat Thins™ the Holocaust would have never happened.
<barks> Wheat Thins™ meet my religious requirements for square-shaped food. Bananologists, Sushists, Samosans, know that the day of judgment is at hand.

[...]

<KCW> the oppressive nature of media in society is telling wheat everywhere to be wheat thin rather than wheat normal, wheat healthy, or wheat curvy
<Jester> I do not shave my beard. Its a filter system to catch mah wheat thins crumbs. DO NOT WASTE WHAT IS GOOD.
<QED2> barks' were phenomenal
<YeNguyen> I majored in Wheat Thins™! Note: am unemployed.
<YeNguyen> Before my father passed away, I fed him his first Wheat Thin™. He said "I can die now." He was allergic to wheat oh god
<Mobiusman> Wheat thins? I'd love some!
<Inkstud> Stacking 2 Wheat Thins™ one on top of the other and then putting a Wheat Thin™ inbetween to make a Wheat Thin™ sandwich
<KingR> Tried to gargle Wheat Thins™. Now paralyzed from neck down. Send help
<Inkstud> That's great! I think I might change it slightly to
<Inkstud> Just tried to gargle Wheat Thins™. Now paralyzed from neck down, please send help (typing this with my tongue)
<KingR> Good change
<rider> Wheat thins, discover the toasted whole grain crunch used to drown sorrows in calories everywhere!
<Mongrel> ANNOUNCEMENT STOP WHEAT THINS TRADE MARK STOP GOOD TIMES STOP
<d> Wheat Thins™: They make you thirsty!
<BHA> I like Wheat Thins, yes I do I like Wheat Thins, how 'bout you?
<KingR> Just discovered Wheat Thins make great throwing stars. Also looking to adopt a new cat.
<Baz> Wheat Thins™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™
™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™
<DeathSquiggle> Fantastic idea: Wheat Thicks. Thank me later.
<d> The Onion already did that
<DeathSquiggle> onion flavored wheat thicks.
<Xyre> Wheat Thins: melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
<Rapey> wheat thins™: so thin that you may be able to eat one after a double helping of the entire menu without exploding. maybe.
<YeNguyen> Wheat Thins™: Not Hitler.
<DeathSquiggle> Wheat Thins: The Master Snack. Wheat Power!
<d> LOL!
<Mongrel> Okay, now that one is funny.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on October 02, 2010, 06:26:41 PM
[19:22] * Silversong has joined #finalfight
[19:22] * ChanServ sets mode: +o Silversong
[19:22] <Mr_Saturn|upstairs> as it is you need 50% charge to have the pee affect work
[19:22] <Mr_Saturn|upstairs> the change is to make headshots give pee affect regardless of charge
[19:22] <Silversong> uh
[19:23] <Mr_Saturn|upstairs> oh god that probably made no sense to you silver
[19:23] <Mr_Saturn|upstairs> tf2 talk
[19:23] <Silversong> suuuure
[19:23] <Silversong> stop peeing on people, Sat. God.
[19:24] <Silversong> I realize Ann Arbor is pretty liberal, but everything has a limit.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on October 02, 2010, 06:36:16 PM
[22:33] <Stush> God
[22:33] <Stush> This stuff tastes like medicine
[22:33] <Silversong> maybe it is curing you, Stush
[22:34] <Stush> Curing me of any desire to drink it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 03, 2010, 11:50:13 AM
<Brentai>   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hovertank_3D (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hovertank_3D)  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catacomb_3D (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catacomb_3D)
<Brentai>   Prototypes of Wolf3D. Interesting.
<SimonTheDigger>   hahahahaha
<SimonTheDigger>   the guy in Hovertank 3D has the best name
<SimonTheDigger>   BRICK SLEDGE
<Brentai>   !manlyname
<Argilla>   SHIT CHESTDRINK
<Brentai>   OH dear.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 03, 2010, 12:24:05 PM
The good guy in Nemesis is named Blake Morrow.  He's named after a real guy who won an auction.  And who also just happened to have a perfect comic book name.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 03, 2010, 07:04:13 PM
Well, it doesn't alliterate, but it does roll off the tongue.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 03, 2010, 10:04:06 PM
Right, it's more of a Silver Age DC name than a Stan Lee name.  Rip Hunter.  Will Magnus.  Niles Caulder.  Blake Morrow.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 03, 2010, 10:13:15 PM
<Brentai>   !manlyname
<Skulrai>   BOLT FASTRIP
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on October 04, 2010, 07:14:23 PM
<Esperath> actually
* Esperath shades
<Esperath> !vader
<Haruhi> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
<Haruhi> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on October 05, 2010, 06:01:34 AM
Quote
We are hosting a beer pong tournament and kegger to help fund our volunteer trip to Guatemala over Christmas break. We will be working with locals building schools and community centers, and we would like to make a significant donation to the organization.

Beer pong tournament will begin at 8:30. Entry fee is $10 for a team of 2. Please email ____________.edu if you want to register a team.
If beer pong is not for you, no worries. We're having a party right after, starting at 10pm.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 05, 2010, 06:39:47 AM
Your current avatar combines very well with that quote.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 07, 2010, 08:15:18 AM
<jsnlxndrlv> ...man, it would figure that all the ladies want to marry me now
<jsnlxndrlv> TOO LATE, SUCKERS
<@Friday> Newbie lets get married
<@Friday> I can offer you endless torment and then death.
<jsnlxndrlv> Shit, that's a better deal than I'm getting
<jsnlxndrlv> SOLD
<@Zaratustra> but what can you offer -beyond- a normal marriage
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 07, 2010, 02:58:25 PM
<@Fridaway> I AM WELL AWARE I AM A HUGE PUSSY ABOUT COLD
<@Fridaway> I DON'T CARE
<aintaer> -about cold
<aintaer> +of acid
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on October 11, 2010, 06:01:32 PM
[19:00]   <Esperath>   !surge
[19:00]   <Haruhi>   SURGE: 2069 Caster's home is stolen
[19:00]   <Esperath>   haha
[19:00]   <Esperath>   hahaha
[19:00]   <Esperath>   ...:3
[19:00]   <Mr_Saturn>   How do you steal that
[19:00]   <Mr_Saturn>   how
[19:00]   <Mr_Saturn>   HOW
[19:01]   <Brent|Knytting>   Be a bank?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: clutch on October 12, 2010, 08:26:34 AM
My date: (finishes writing a note to herself) You remember in Pete & Pete, how in that one episode older Pete falls in love with his math teacher because he likes the way she draws her twos?
Me: I do.
My date: Well, I think I make great number twos.
 
:whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on October 14, 2010, 09:12:25 AM
Quote
Superman & Batman Are Tight.

THE TIME: Night.

THE PLACE: I dunno, a rooftop or some shit.

BATMAN’S STANDING THERE, SUPERMAN FLIES DOWN.

SUPERMAN: Wazzup my houuumie!!!

BATMAN: Gotham Gotham WHUUUUUT!!!!!!

SUPERMAN: How you livin’?

BATMAN: I gots a cave full’a riches and a mansion full’a bitches! What up wit’ u?

SUPERMAN: Oh you know. Stoppin’ them runaway trains. Leapin’ them buildins. Sippin’ on that Kryzzurrp.

BATMAN: Les get on this crime shit. Wrap it quick. Got me an appointment with Catwoman ‘round 2:30.

SUPERMAN: Daaaaaayyyym! You still hittin’ that?

BATMAN: Fo’ sho. I can’t save the city if I ain’t got mah kitty.

THEY GO FIGHT CRIME, THEN BATMAN HAS HIS APPOINTMENT WITH CATWOMAN. HE HITS THAT.

THE END.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 14, 2010, 09:23:38 AM
wassup!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44rjg3H2rqA#)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 15, 2010, 04:53:08 PM
GraK: Did I tell this story here? I actually deepfried powdered sugar on accident. It does not work.
Jester: how the fuck did you do that? thought it was flour? and why?
Grak: I was making a beer batter. I could not for the life of me figure out why the batter would not mix up properly, but I was distracted so I just added beer till it was thick, even though it took way less than I was expecting. Then I tried to deep fry stuff and it kept just sliding off and gummying up the oil. I could not figure out what was wrong. Finally, I happened to lick my fingers and noticed the oil on my hands was sweet....
Grak: Basically, I made beer frosting and then tried to deep fry it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 15, 2010, 04:56:57 PM
Had to share this, just because:

Quote
Friend of mine works for the Dept. of Revenue
Guy sends in his tax return unsigned.
They send it back with a request for signature, and get back:

(http://lh4.ggpht.com/_gNxoZpnpqpI/TLjMnAfD2UI/AAAAAAAAA10/2D52XQpH4mI/photo.JPG)




Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 15, 2010, 06:03:05 PM
My handwriting is worse than that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 24, 2010, 06:56:18 AM
Quote from: Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
"I have long felt that any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on a full suit of armor and attacked a Hot Fudge Sundae or a Banana Split."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 24, 2010, 07:43:04 AM
I don't get it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on October 24, 2010, 08:44:22 AM
I'd take on Atlas Shrugged with a hazmat suit and a flamethrower.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 24, 2010, 08:53:23 AM
Can I beat up Ishmael with a power suit?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 24, 2010, 08:56:53 AM
Call me Ishmael... BITCH.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 24, 2010, 09:48:41 AM
Can I beat up Ishmael with a power suit?

Pretty sure I did that my first semester of college.

"Ishmael is the story of a stupid primate and the talking gorilla who teaches him things."

...you know, I think I have all my college papers on a CD here somewhere.  I got some kind of award for the one about how our political system has fucked us all, which leads me to believe I probably won't be embarrassed if I reread it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 24, 2010, 10:11:36 AM
He didn't talk.  He was psychic.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 24, 2010, 10:12:51 AM
THAT'S right.  It was "the TELEPATHIC gorilla who teaches him things."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 29, 2010, 07:04:28 PM
Quote from: G.K. Chesterton
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on October 31, 2010, 07:39:00 AM
I could do with a little less adventure in my li--

Oh.

Oh god.

I've become my least-favorite Discworld protagonist.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 31, 2010, 08:11:28 AM
At least that means you're a Wizzard.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Envy on November 03, 2010, 12:51:41 AM
[03:47] <Envy> Why is there a kangaroo with a sombrero on it's head
[03:47] <Stush> With pre-made spice packets
[03:48] <Envy> I just looked up taco bill
[03:48] *** Ridley (kayumi@bas5-barrie18-2925277781.dsl.bell.ca) joined
[03:48] *** ChanServ sets channel #finalfight mode +v Ridley
[03:48] <Stush> That's what we do, Envy
[03:48] <Stush> We put hats on kangaroos
[03:48] <Envy> So australlian santa
[03:48] <Envy> Is a kangaroo
[03:48] <Stush> Holy shit
[03:48] <Envy> with a santa hat on and coat?
[03:48] <+Esperath> an australian stack of hats
[03:48] <Stush> That kangaroo breathes fire
[03:48] <Envy> OH shit your santa breathes fire?
[03:49] <Envy> Thats a horrible christmas! D:
[03:49] <Stush> I.. I think so.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 06, 2010, 11:53:17 PM
(cutting out some of the irrelevant stuff)

<Brentai>   !surge brentai
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 6217 All grass within 100 yards turns to steel
<Brentai>   Huh.
<Esperath>   well
<Esperath>   you just fell into a pit of steel spikes
<Brentai>   !surge grass
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 1874 Brentai's eyes pop out and roll away
<Esperath>   :3
<BongoBill>   THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY
<Brentai>   !surge eye sockets
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 1847 Brentai's elbows invert; bend in opposite direction
<Brentai>   Okay I
<BongoBill>   OKAY I TAKE IT BACK
<Brentai>   Everything's fine here.
<Brentai>   I'm fine.
<Brentai>   Okay?
<Brentai>   Everything's good.
<Brentai>   I'll just
<BongoBill>   HANG ON BRENTAI MAYBE THIS WILL HELP
<Brentai>   Uh
<Esperath>   brentai's a fallout NV character
<BongoBill>   !SURGE BRENTAI
<Koah>   I got this.
<Koah>   !surge Brentai
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 2549 Koah's weight fluctuates by ?50% every turn
<BongoBill>   OH I GUESS IT DOESN'T WORK WITH BOLD TAGS OR SOMETHING
<Brentai>   Okay okay I'll fight my own battles thanks guys.
<Brentai>   !surge brentai
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 0650 Brentai disgorges 1d1000 pints of water
<Brentai>   I'm ;asdhl;gkjhdklgjh;fasdlgl;dh fine
<Brentai>   Everything's g;rrfghlsdfkn;ldfskgh;dflkhg fine
<SimonTheDigger>   ...
<Brentai>   !surge brentai d;slhg;asdlh;fdlhgsdf;lg
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 1457 Brentai turns invisible and is rendered mute
<BongoBill>   !SURGE BRENTAI
<Cappuccino>   SURGE: 3549 target always feels like he is being watched
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on November 07, 2010, 11:26:19 AM
(http://www.corporate-sellout.com/blues.gif)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 07, 2010, 01:07:28 PM
<@Squizzle> Meikai, I'm going to wand you, hard, like you've never been wanded.
<@Silversong> :D
<@Squizzle> !wand Meikai, in the butt
* Aoko waves the "Fossil Hammer of Doom" and points it at Meikai, -  136 Frisbee flies out.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on November 08, 2010, 07:48:00 PM
T: I'd rather be doing anything than this stupid paper
M: What about a cactus? Would you rather do a cactus?
T: there'd be more of a point.

I've never been more proud of my little brother than now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on November 14, 2010, 09:58:56 AM
Quote
[09:56]   <Esperath>   !wand R^2
[09:56]   <Aoko>   * Esperath waves the "EbonyWood 2HSword of Doom" and points it at R^2 - 452 Opens a temporary portal to the CE plane of the abyss. This portal is forty miles wide by ten miles tall and will last for ten hours.
[09:56]   <Esperath>   is every single goddamn wand entry about CE abyss portals
[09:57]   <MetalSlime>   !wand Esperath
[09:57]   <Aoko>   * MetalSlime waves the "MapleWood Gloves of Doom" and points it at Esperath - 440 Opens a temporary portal to the CE plane of the abyss. This portal is two hundred feet wide by one hundred feet tall and will last for ten combat rounds.
[09:57]   <MetalSlime>   :3
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on November 14, 2010, 10:15:43 AM
You're just bragging because your portal was so much manlier.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on November 14, 2010, 10:38:57 AM
But if it lasts longer than 4 hours, there's probably some sort of problem.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 14, 2010, 06:50:22 PM
This is the best typo:

Quote
set also includes some card board tolkiens
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on November 14, 2010, 09:15:00 PM
I would buy two sets.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 17, 2010, 09:07:59 PM
<+Esperath> http://i.imgur.com/hQVVr.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/hQVVr.jpg)
<+Esperath> that's one way to use copperplate gothic
<@Romosome> lost it at the first line
<@Romosome> you're right the font makes it even better
<+Esperath> EPIC POOP WARNING
<@Friday> I love angry notes.
<@Friday> They are the world's greatest gift to comedy.
<@Friday> STOP JERKING OFF IN THE SHOWERS
<@Romosome> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ (http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/)
<+Esperath> yeah, but seriously
<+Esperath> poop in a book?
<@Romosome> enough to fill several books
<+Esperath> re-shelved?
<+Esperath> fkgjh
<@Romosome> it's the date that gets me
<@Romosome> ON 06/02/10 THERE WAS POOP
<@Romosome> FOUND MASHED BETWEEN BOOKS IN
<+Esperath> THE YEAR IS 2010
<@Romosome> THE CHILDRENS SECTION.
<@Romosome> BUT THE FUTURE
<@Romosome> REFUSED TO CHANGE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 18, 2010, 11:14:40 AM
<@Squizzle> Froctopus, listen to me.
<@Squizzle> Dee mermaid world, it's a mess.
<@Squizzle> Life in Australia is bettah den anyting dey got down dere.
<zaratustra> UNDER THE TROPIC
<zaratustra> UNDER THE TROPIC
<zaratustra> life's much better
<zaratustra> in the serengeti
<zaratustra> I can't rhyme
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 22, 2010, 09:24:58 AM
"I have no patience for a man with so little imagination that he thinks a word can only be spelled one way." -Andrew Jackson

*ahem*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 23, 2010, 07:37:53 PM
<Roger> Silversong your next cosplay is
<Roger> http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/9883/14738126.jpg (http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/9883/14738126.jpg)
<@Friday> SPACE CAPTAIN
<@Silversong> Do you have any idea how hard it is to point your bust and your butt at someone at the same time?
<R^2> No Silversong, but I'd like to see pictures of you trying it.
<@Friday> I doubt many men have tried.
<@Silversong> and why are there zippers down the backs of her hotpants?
<yeoz> warning: do not let hatsune miku pilot your space ship. she is not a real space captain
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on November 23, 2010, 07:59:44 PM
Came across this while looking in my logs.

<melonhead> I won't let Andross have his way with me
<myew> I won't let andross have his way out of you.

oh myew how I miss you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on November 25, 2010, 06:55:34 PM
[18:49]   * Silversong   hugs everybody and squeezes the stuffing out of them! :D
[18:49]   <R^2>   barfff
[18:49]   * Esperath   surges the stuffing into Silversong
[18:49]   <Esperath>   !surge Silversong
[18:49]   <Aoko>   SURGE: 8391 All birds within 1 mile quadruple in weight
[18:49]   <Esperath>   HA
[18:49]   * Squizzle   devours a giganturkey.
[18:49]   <R^2>   It's a Thanksgiving feast!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 07, 2010, 12:17:03 PM
Appropriate:

Quote from: George Carlin
In the midst of all my bitching, you might have noticed that I never complain about politicians. I leave that to others. And there's no shortage of volunteers; everyone complains about politicians. Everyone says they suck.

But where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky; they don't pass through a membrane from a separate reality. They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. And they're elected by American voters. This is what our system produces, folks. This is the best we can do. Let's face it, we have very little to work with. Garbage in, garbage out.

Ignorant citizens elect ignorant leaders, it's as simple as that. And term limits don't help. All you do is get a new bunch of ignorant leaders.
So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: "The public sucks. Elect me." Put the blame where it belongs: on the people.

Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don't have people like that. Everyone's at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians.
For myself, I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way. On Election Day, I stay home. Two reasons: first of all, voting is meaningless; this country was bought and paid for a long time ago. That empty shit they shuffle around and repackage every four years doesn't mean a thing.

Second, I don't vote, because I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. I know some people like to twist that around and say, "If you don't vote, you have no right to complain." But where's the logic in that? Think it through: If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and you screw things up, then you're responsible for what they've done. You voted them in. You caused the problem. You have no right to complain.

I, on the other hand, who did not vote—who, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day—am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created. Which I had nothing to do with. Why can't people see that?

Now, I realize last year you folks had another one of those really swell presidential elections you treasure so much. That was nice. I'm sure you had a good time, and I'm sure that everyone's life has now improved. But I'm happy to say that on Election Day I stayed home. And I did essentially what you did. The only difference is when I got finished masturbating I had something to show for it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on December 07, 2010, 01:06:59 PM
Since most of us voted in our respective countries I can only assume you want us to shut down the Thad board.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 07, 2010, 02:48:11 PM
Clearly.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 07, 2010, 06:33:02 PM
You know, George Carlin said something along the same lines about Military Service.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 07, 2010, 09:17:06 PM
"Air Marshal Carlin Tells You to Go Fuck Yourself" is probably my favorite chapter title in the history of books.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on December 10, 2010, 10:51:08 AM
Quote
MadMAxJr:  Did you see the article about solar powered hornets?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9254000/9254445.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9254000/9254445.stm)  THEY WERE COVERING FOR THE WASPS. DANGIT
 Sent at 10:32 AM on Friday

me:  oh good lord

MadMAxJr:  They are so totally GREEN tech dude, we are scrwed.
Next thing will be roaches discovering how to use tools and fire.
 Sent at 10:53 AM on Friday

me:  man now even nature's going green

MadMAxJr:  Tax season is coming around, nature needs a write off in carbon credits.
 Sent at 10:55 AM on Friday

me:  "Welcome to the IRS, Carl. You're going to be in charge of taxing wasp nests for the next couple of months."

MadMAxJr:  "Every new guy has to do it, don't worry man."
Sounds like a very District 9 thing only with very tiny tiny sets of paper and trying to explain tax bills to wasps instead of eviction notices.
 Sent at 10:58 AM on Friday

me:  Pretty much!
 Sent at 11:02 AM on Friday

MadMAxJr:  "Sir, is this your nest?  How many people live here...  Mmhmm, 300 with 50 kids...  Sir, you know this is a home zoned for a family of no more than six and a pet?"

me:  Just starts buzzing very very loudly, abdomen throbbing
"Sir"
"Sir please"
"Let's be adults here"

MadMAxJr:  Wasp gesturing with two legs for wife and kids to GO BACK INSIDE, NOW.
 Sent at 11:07 AM on Friday

MadMAxJr:  "Was that buzz buzz click or buzz click buzz?  I didn't catch that..."
"No sir, I did not mean to offend, I am just not used to your accent."
"You want me to RAID him?"  "No no, put the can down."
 Sent at 11:10 AM on Friday

MadMAxJr:  "Well sir the good news is, since you are a paper wasp family, your home is made from recycled materials.  There's a deduction for that."
"The real problem is the fact you're claiming 50 dependents."
 Sent at 11:13 AM on Friday
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 15, 2010, 02:07:52 PM
Requoting (i.e. don't have the original source):

Quote from: Iowahawk

Obama Names Bill Clinton to Presidential Post

WASHINGTON DC – Ending weeks of speculation and rumors, President-Elect Barack Obama today named Bill Clinton to join his incoming administration as President of the United States, where he will head the federal government’s executive branch.

“I am pleased that Bill Clinton has agreed to come out of retirement to head up this crucial post in my administration,” said Obama. “He brings a lifetime of previous executive experience as Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and has worked closely with most of the members of my Cabinet.”

Clinton said he was “excited and honored” by the appointment, and would work “day and night” to defeat all the key policy objectives proposed by Mr. Obama during the campaign.

:happy:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 18, 2010, 02:15:34 PM
From a Christian friend:

Quote from: paz
Boehner names Bachmann to House Intelligence Committee.

John 11:35
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 18, 2010, 06:57:21 PM
Heh
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 20, 2010, 08:57:13 AM
Quote from: Warren Buffet
You only find out who’s been swimming naked when the tide goes out.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on December 26, 2010, 03:25:08 PM
[14:42]   <Friday>   Air Bud 13: The Land before Time
[14:42]   <Dr_Nerd>   Air Bud vs. Freddy vs. Jason
[14:42]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud And The Mysterious Village
[14:42]   <Friday>   In this movie Air Bud finds he has the uncanny ability to travel through time. As a believer in accurate science, he uses this ability to go back to The Land before Time and kill Sarah, because triceritops don't exist
[14:42]   <Esperath>   Air Bud: The Last Airbudder
[14:43]   <Friday>   How is it that nobody I have ever seen, met or even heard of has seen any of the Air Bud movies yet everyone knows instantly what they are
[14:44]   <Upth>   Air Bud 28: The 13 Ghosts of Air Bud
[14:44]   <Esperath>   I had only heard of them in passing before
[14:44]   <Friday>   like you could call australia and ask if they've seen Air Bud and they will say "no, but isn't it about that dog who plays sports"
[14:44]   <Esperath>   I mostly just learned from all the links people posted here
[14:44]   <Cait>   Commercials.
[14:44]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bud
[14:44]   <Esperath>   I don't even think I've seen any TV commercials
[14:44]   <Upth>   Friday: I remember there being a ton of commercials all over TV for the first Air Bud
[14:44]   <Esperath>   the only exposure I may have had were posters at movie theaters
[14:44]   <Upth>   couldn't fucking avoid them
[14:45]   <Cait>   Esper: The commercials pass right through your brain, leaving only a faint residue
[14:45]   <Esperath>   http://i.imgur.com/ZWjUt.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/ZWjUt.jpg)
[14:45]   <Friday>   Air Bud: The Dark Side of the Bud
[14:45]   <Upth>   I also remember that the first time I saw such a commercial
[14:45]   <Upth>   I decided never to see the movie
[14:45]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud 48: Bud Harder
[14:45]   |<--   Priitsi has left irc.esper.net (Quit: The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars...)
[14:45]   <Friday>   I saw the preview to Transformers 3 when I saw Tron.
[14:45]   <Esperath>   Air Bud 489: Air Bud with a Vengeance
[14:45]   <Friday>   I laughed
[14:46]   <Esperath>   Live Free or Air Bud
[14:46]   <Dr_Nerd>   Transformers 3: Michael Bay still hates black people
[14:46]   <Cait>   I want to see Tron. I might try to find a theatre during my free time on post-test day.
[14:46]   <Friday>   Air Bud and the Chocolate Factory
[14:46]   <Dr_Nerd>   air bud noooooo
[14:47]   <Dr_Nerd>   he'd eat until he died :(
[14:47]   <Friday>   Air Bud's List
[14:47]   <Friday>   How Air Bud got his Bud Back
[14:47]   <Asuna>   I just had a Draenei ask if I wanted to participate in their RP
[14:47]   <Asuna>   He then said that my gnome would basically be raped to death by her and her friend.
[14:47]   <Niku>   was it in the tram
[14:47]   <Niku>   oh, so yes
[14:47]   <Friday>   I don't think anyone will top Live Free or Air Bud
[14:48]   <Friday>   Niku
[14:48]   <Friday>   have you seen tron
[14:48]   <Niku>   nope!
[14:48]   <Friday>   Olivia Wilde loses a limb
[14:48]   <Niku>   Not of either variety
[14:48]   <Friday>   this is all you need to know
[14:48]   <Niku>   So I hear. I have some boning up to do.
[14:48]   <Niku>   something something innuendo
[14:48]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud 57: Inglorious Budsterds
[14:48]   <Cait>   Losing a limb leads to boning, etc.
[14:49]   <Dr_Nerd>   Air Bud and Costello Meet the Wolfman
[14:49]   <Friday>   Air Bud 63 1/3
[14:49]   <zaratustra>   Transformers 3: Legend of Air Bud
[14:49]   <SimonTheDigger>   Sweet Sweetback's Budassssss Song
[14:49]   <zaratustra>   Bud Hard
[14:50]   <Niku>   Airbudtar
[14:50]   <Esperath>   Air Bud Hustle
[14:50]   <Dr_Nerd>   Air Budstar Galacticca
[14:50]   <kashan>   Air Bud 73: Air Apparent. Officer Air bud discovers he has an uncanny talant for following the paper trail, which he uses to trace drug money back to the campaign funs of an up and coming politician.
[14:50]   <Esperath>   Air Bud - Dogs in Tights
[14:50]   <SimonTheDigger>   Oh Air Bud Where Art Thou
[14:50]   <zaratustra>   The Budfather
[14:50]   <Friday>   Dr. Jekyl and Air Bud
[14:51]   <Esperath>   The Fellowship of the Air Bud
[14:51]   <Esperath>   No Country for Air Bud
[14:51]   <SimonTheDigger>   The Crying Bud
[14:51]   <Esperath>   Air Bud and the Deathly Hallows
[14:51]   <zaratustra>   The Air Bud Redemption
[14:51]   <Esperath>   Air Bud and the Temple of Doom
[14:51]   <Asuna>   Star Wars: The Air Bud Strikes Back
[14:51]   <Niku>   How The Grinch Stole Air Bud
[14:51]   <Asuna>   Samurai Air Bud
[14:51]   <kashan>   In which air bud discovers he has an uncanny ability to get killed by an evil hitman after stealing 2million worth of mob money.
[14:51]   <SimonTheDigger>   I Married An Air Bud
[14:51]   <Asuna>   Harvey Air Bud: Attorney At Law
[14:51]   <Friday>   Budbusters
[14:52]   <Esperath>   Honey, I Air Budded the Kids
[14:52]   <Asuna>   Super Air Bud Super Show.
[14:52]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud, Gone Tomorrow
[14:52]   <Esperath>   Con Air (Bud)
[14:52]   <zaratustra>   Bud Air
[14:52]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud/Off
[14:52]   <Friday>   Xenobud
[14:52]   <BongoBill>   Air Air?
[14:52]   <Asuna>   The 5tory of the Air Bud 5tar 5ystem
[14:52]   <Friday>   Final Bud XV
[14:52]   <zaratustra>   The Prince Of Bud Air
[14:52]   <Esperath>   The Legend of Air Bud: A Bud to the Past
[14:52]   <zaratustra>   er
[14:52]   <kashan>   I really feel like you should have to write a plot description involving the word uncanny if you're going to post a title.
[14:52]   <zaratustra>   Fresh Prince of Bud Air
[14:52]   <Niku>   For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Air Bud is Enuf
[14:52]   <MarsDragon>   Simon I've been playing J
[14:53]   <SimonTheDigger>   Confessions of A Dangerous Bud
[14:53]   <SimonTheDigger>   Mars: Yes
[14:53]   <SimonTheDigger>   ?
[14:53]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud Solid
[14:53]   <Friday>   Symphony of the Bud
[14:53]   <MarsDragon>   It's nifty! I just got the Layzyer guys
[14:53]   <MarsDragon>   They're very 80s
[14:53]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to make love bloom im a battlefield
[14:53]   <SimonTheDigger>   Laynzer is 80s as fuck.
[14:53]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud and the Seven Dwarves
[14:53]   <SimonTheDigger>   Layzner, even
[14:53]   <Esperath>   Castle Airbud: Portrait of Doggy
[14:54]   <Friday>   Wizards and Air Bud
[14:54]   <SimonTheDigger>   Airbudladdin
[14:54]   <Esperath>   Tengen Toppa Gurren Airbud
[14:54]   <Friday>   Bubble Bobbud
[14:54]   <Niku>   MIA
[14:54]   <Niku>   Men in Air Bud
[14:54]   <MarsDragon>   I can't wait for the G Gundam guys to show up
[14:54]   <Dr_Nerd>   What about Air Bud?
[14:54]   <Xerox>   Air Bud Full of Grace. And that's not a word pun. I would LOVE to see him as the star in that movie.
[14:54]   <MarsDragon>   Gonna SHINING FINGEEEEEEEEEEEEER the whole battlefield
[14:54]   <zaratustra>   There's Something About Air Bud
[14:54]   <SimonTheDigger>   Meet The Air Buds
[14:54]   <Friday>   The 40 Year Old Air Bud
[14:54]   <Esperath>   Airbudlander
[14:55]   <MetalSlime>   M. Night Shymalan's The Air Buddening
[14:55]   <Esperath>   Air Bud: Deep Space Bark
[14:55]   <zaratustra>   air bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to not die unless his head is removed
[14:55]   <Friday>   Vampires vs Air Bud
[14:55]   <kashan>   Air Buderfield!
[14:55]   <zaratustra>   Budzilla
[14:55]   <SimonTheDigger>   Airbudkira
[14:55]   <Esperath>   Air Bud and the Masters of the Doghouse
[14:55]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud & Max Hit The Road
[14:55]   <kashan>   In which air bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to destory New York.
[14:55]   <Esperath>   Teenage Mutant Ninja Air Buds
[14:56]   <Friday>   Air Bud: Beyond Basketball
[14:56]   <Esperath>   Azumanga Airbud
[14:56]   <Dr_Nerd>   Who Framed Roger RaBud?
[14:56]   <SimonTheDigger>   Galaxy Cyclone Air Bud
[14:56]   <kashan>   The irresponsible captain airbud.
[14:56]   <Friday>   Oh! My Air Bud
[14:56]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud Muyo!
[14:56]   <zaratustra>   Air Bud And The World of Tomorrow
[14:56]   <Niku>   Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Air Bud
[14:56]   <Dr_Nerd>   Guess Who's Coming to Air Bud
[14:57]   <SimonTheDigger>   Mobile Suit Airbuddam
[14:57]   <Friday>   To Kill an Air Bud
[14:57]   <Esperath>   Magical Dog Pretty Air Bud
[14:57]   <Niku>   The Imaginarium of Doctor Air Bud
[14:57]   <SimonTheDigger>   Panty and Stocking with Air Bud
[14:57]   <kashan>   We should all work for disney.
[14:57]   <Esperath>   101 Air Buds
[14:57]   <Friday>   Four Weddings and an Air Bud
[14:57]   <Niku>   "We've got all these pitches for new Air Bud movies."
[14:58]   <Niku>   "Yeah, what do you call them?"
[14:58]   <Niku>   "The Airbudstocrats!"
[14:58]   <kashan>   Really I think they based the air bud movies on the catch phrse puns.
[14:58]   <Friday>   Air Bud Almighty
[14:58]   <kashan>   Golden retriever, world pup, seventh inning fetch, and spikes back.
[14:58]   <Esperath>   http://i.imgur.com/SdKna.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/SdKna.jpg)
[14:59]   <Dr_Nerd>   Plain 9 From Outer Air Bud
[14:59]   <SimonTheDigger>   Kamen Rider Air Bud
[14:59]   <kashan>   spikes back was pretty weak though.
[14:59]   <Koah>   Lock, Stock and Two Air Buds.
[14:59]   <Esperath>   Airbudspotting
[14:59]   <kashan>   Two?!
[14:59]   <kashan>   You can't have two air buds. It would be too uncanny.
[14:59]   <Esperath>   There's a river.
[14:59]   <SimonTheDigger>   He accidentally learned how to play all the sports twice, now he's...
[14:59]   <SimonTheDigger>   TWO AIR BUDS
[15:00]   <Esperath>   The Mighty River Air Bud
[15:00]   <Friday>   Planes, Trains, and Air Bud
[15:00]   <Niku>   Schindler's Air Bud
[15:00]   <Esperath>   I fell into a burning ring of Air Bud.
[15:00]   <Dr_Nerd>   butch cassidy and the sundance bud
[15:00]   <SimonTheDigger>   Mein Airbud
[15:00]   <Friday>   I did Air Bud's List
[15:00]   <Xerox>   Hmm. "Spikes Back" really isn't a dog pun, is it?
[15:00]   <Esperath>   I went down, down, down, and the Air Buds went higher.
[15:00]   <Niku>   WELL FUCK YOU
[15:00]   <Friday>   ok
[15:00]   <Esperath>   And it burns, burns burns, the ring of Air Buds.
[15:00]   * Niku   crying self to sleep
[15:00]   * Friday   loses an arm
[15:01]   <Esperath>   The ring of Air Buds.
[15:01]   <Xerox>   Just sounds like Star Wars.
[15:01]   <SimonTheDigger>   The Air Bud Strikes Back
[15:01]   <Esperath>   I shot Air Bud in Reno just to watch him die.
[15:01]   <Friday>   That's a fucking fifty Air Bud Minues
[15:01]   <Dr_Nerd>   If only there were enough hours in the day
[15:01]   <Friday>   groups 7 and 9 are air bud groups
[15:02]   <Niku>   let's do this
[15:02]   <Niku>   LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY
[15:02]   <Niku>   AIR BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD
[15:03]   <Friday>   Tempest Keep was merely an Air Bud
[15:03]   <Friday>   You are not Air Bud
[15:03]   <Koah>   I do this for Ai(u)r Bud!
[15:03]   <Friday>   Entaro Air Bud!
[15:05]   <Esperath>   Dude Looks Like an Air Bud
[15:05]   <Esperath>   Air Bud in an Elevator
[15:05]   <Niku>   White Air Bud
[15:05]   <Esperath>   Same Old Air Bud and Dance
[15:05]   <Esperath>   Livin' on the Air Bud
[15:06]   <Dr_Nerd>   Air bud to the bone
[15:06]   <Dr_Nerd>   ouch
[15:06]   <Dr_Nerd>   that one even hurt me
[15:06]   <Friday>   Air Bud Can't Jump
[15:06]   =-=   Esperath has changed the topic to “Happy Hogswatch to all | Eversion is now on sale until January 3rd: http://store.steampowered.com/app/33680/ (http://store.steampowered.com/app/33680/) | Still Alive Choir Better Video (Honestly) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02n2yYBwHXo#) | <sei> you know what would have fixed lulu? voldo animations. | Live Free or Air Bud”
[15:08]   <SimonTheDigger>   Stephen King's Air Bud
[15:08]   <Esperath>   Air Budatar - Hit Me with your Best Air Bud
[15:09]   <Niku>   Fire and Air Bud, you come on like a flame but then you turn a cold rover
[15:09]   <Asuna>   Air Bud Saga
[15:09]   <SimonTheDigger>   The Air Bud has spread to another channel I'm in
[15:09]   <kashan>   The Budshank Redemption.
[15:09]   <Asuna>   Air Bud: The Spirits Within
[15:09]   <SimonTheDigger>   I couldn't help it
[15:09]   <Asuna>   Whose Air Bud Is It Anyway
[15:09]   <kashan>   Haha, what chan?
[15:10]   <Asuna>   Tenchi Air Bud
[15:10]   <SimonTheDigger>   it's a roleplaying channel on a little server called Aniverse
[15:10]   <SimonTheDigger>   "roleplaying" as in "people who do P&P RPGs hang out there"
[15:10]   <kashan>   Airen Budkovich
[15:10]   <SimonTheDigger>   Team Airbudtress 2
[15:11]   <kashan>   In which air bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to argue class action lawsuits.
[15:11]   <BongoBill>   Inglairious Budsterds
[15:11]   <SimonTheDigger>   In which Air Bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to POOSH LEETLE KART>
[15:12]   <kashan>   Air bud is clearly a scout.
[15:12]   <BongoBill>   And scouts are the best pooshers of leetle kart.
[15:13]   <Esperath>   Braid U - Air Bud
[15:14]   <SimonTheDigger>   World of Airbudcraft
[15:14]   <Esperath>   Recettear - An Air Bud Tale
[15:14]   <Esperath>   Air Bud - Barkham Asylum
[15:14]   <SimonTheDigger>   Airbudmancer
[15:14]   <Niku>   The Walking Bud
[15:15]   <Esperath>   Knights of the Air Bud Republic
[15:15]   <Dr_Nerd>   Evil Bud 2
[15:15]   <SimonTheDigger>   Army of Budness
[15:15]   <Esperath>   Sid Meier's Air Bud IV - Beyond the Bark
[15:16]   <Esperath>   A.I.R.B.U.D.S. - Shadow of Dogfort
[15:16]   <SimonTheDigger>   GET OUT OF HERE AIR BUD
[15:16]   <Esperath>   Air Bud of War
[15:17]   <SimonTheDigger>   Air Bud May Cry
[15:17]   <Esperath>   Air Bud: Total War
[15:17]   <Koah>   Air Bud versus Predator.
[15:17]   <Esperath>   Plants vs. Airbuds
[15:18]   <SimonTheDigger>   An Air Bud on Elm Street
[15:18]   <Esperath>   Air Bud-ty: Armored Collie
[15:18]   <Esperath>   Grand Theft Air Bud - Bark City
[15:18]   <Koah>   Airmored Bud: Last Rover.
[15:18]   <Esperath>   Air Bud Age - Origins
[15:18]   <kashan>   Oh. Nice one Koah.
[15:18]   <Koah>   Collie of Duty: Modern Air Bud.
[15:19]   <SimonTheDigger>   Borderbuds
[15:19]   <kashan>   Oh shit. Koah is bringing it.
[15:19]   <kashan>   Let me hear some more cainine puns yo!
[15:19]   <SimonTheDigger>   and the expansion, Borderbuds: The Doghouse of General Barxx
[15:20]   <Esperath>   Air-Bud 2: Episode Three (expected release date 20XX)
[15:20]   <Esperath>   just after the release of Air Bud Forever
[15:20]   <SimonTheDigger>   I'm here to chew Milk Bones and play basketball...AND I'M ALL OUT OF MILK BONES.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 26, 2010, 06:52:28 PM
I can't believe we didn't do The Uncanny X-Bud.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on December 26, 2010, 09:08:36 PM
god it's like the words air bud don't even make sense anymore
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on December 26, 2010, 10:41:52 PM
The joke's on you: Air Bud has never had any meaning.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 27, 2010, 08:00:56 AM
:joke:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 27, 2010, 08:24:27 AM
You know, during the climax of Air Bud, when Bud was ordered by a Judge to choose between the boy and a clown, and he chose the boy, I cried.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on December 27, 2010, 06:31:17 PM
[20:28] <Lottel> So I just convinced a girl to sit naked and try to knit underwear onto herself
[20:28] <Lottel> Today is a good day
[20:28] <Smiler|Away> Dude you gotta teach us how to use the mind beams to do that stuff
[20:28] <+MarsDragon> ....I don't think that's going to work
[20:28] <Smiler> Mars try it
[20:29] <+MarsDragon> My arms don't bend that way
[20:29] <Lottel> I don't think so either Mars, so I told her to try it drunk.
[20:29] <Smiler> oh god
[20:29] <+Esperath> did you also convince her to invite you over
[20:29] <Smiler> she is going to the hospital
[20:29] <Lottel> ... that was implied, I guess.
[20:29] <Smiler> niceeeeeee
[20:29] <+Esperath> now you can rescue her when she punctures her intestines
[20:29] <Lottel> It started out with "I just sit around in my underwear." "I should try it." "We should just have an underwear party."
[20:30] <+Esperath> nothing like a good case of septic shock to set the mood
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on December 27, 2010, 07:09:37 PM
I like how he almost convinced mars to try also.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on December 27, 2010, 07:10:55 PM
Mars should totally try it.

Hell, this could be the cool new craze!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Dooly on December 27, 2010, 10:24:26 PM
Knit you're clothes for world peace?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on December 29, 2010, 09:36:01 AM
"I'm not short in real life! I'm just short compared to you!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: MarsDragon on December 29, 2010, 02:36:10 PM
I like how he almost convinced mars to try also.

I admit, I gave some consideration as to how to do it, but I have no idea of how I'd knit behind my own back.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 29, 2010, 02:43:11 PM
I like how he almost convinced mars to try also.

I admit, I gave some consideration as to how to do it, but I have no idea of how I'd knit behind my own back.

I would imagine that you'd knit the back first while feeding it between your legs. Then you'd just have to knit the sides together.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on December 29, 2010, 03:20:42 PM
See, that's why you'd need two girls knitting underwear on each other.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on December 29, 2010, 06:53:29 PM
wait wait wait, are you guys fantasizing about girls getting progressively less naked

:disappoint:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on December 29, 2010, 09:16:31 PM
DON'T JUDGE ME
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on December 30, 2010, 04:50:19 AM
*: What?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on December 30, 2010, 01:45:07 PM
Well, I was talking to her about it and she said she was just going to make boy shorts in the front and spin it around to the back and knit the front side to the back.

I may bring up the other girl thing though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on December 30, 2010, 08:11:05 PM
<Niku> bidoof
<Niku> bidoof
<Niku> bidoof is on fire
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on December 30, 2010, 10:09:32 PM
i was just following up romo's "squirtle im dying"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Pangloss on December 31, 2010, 02:27:56 AM
wait wait wait, are you guys fantasizing about girls getting progressively less naked

:disappoint:

So instead the girl is knitting something else by using the yarn which constitutes what she's currently wearing.  Like "Here I knitted this bear, and now I'm naked."  Everyone happy?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on December 31, 2010, 06:33:16 AM
teddy bears always make naked time bett OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (http://www.thejhohcableshow.com/projectmegan2/teddybear.html)

(not safe for anyone)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 03, 2011, 12:33:17 AM
Quote
Businesses are not altruistic pursuits. They won't pursue what's good for society but bad for them on their own, and if they do they'll be shoved under by more cutthroat enterprises. It the rules say that you can run 4x Black Lotus, you can not play the card if you want because you don't think it's "honorable", but that's not going to get you shit except 0-X. If the rules say that you can mug your opponent and throw the deck in their trash, you probably shouldn't show up to play without brass knuckles.

The government sets the rules and enforce them; this is called regulation. If there's no rules it's just anarchy, and this applies just as much to business as to criminal law.

It's got a Magic: The Gathering reference preceding it, but the bolded bit is easily the best response to the ""Governement regulation" and "Free-Market Competition" are loaded terms." line (and similar dodges) I've heard in a long time.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on January 03, 2011, 03:49:21 AM
teddy bears always make naked time bett OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (http://www.thejhohcableshow.com/projectmegan2/teddybear.html)

(not safe for anyone)

I always thought Project Megan was less hilarious trolling and more incredibly creepy man having incredibly creepy erp with someone he knew was another man.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on January 09, 2011, 01:30:30 AM
<Cpl_Ethane> THERE ONCE WAS A DM NAMED JDIGITAL
<Cpl_Ethane> WHO WAS VERY NERVOUS AND FIDGITAL
<Cpl_Ethane> AFTER A ROMP IN A CAVE,
<Cpl_Ethane> HIS PLAYERS DID SAY,
<Cpl_Ethane> JD, YOU'RE NOT VERY ORIGINAL
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on January 09, 2011, 02:57:09 AM
I'm going to rewrite that.

A DM they called Jonny Digital
Was known to be nervous and figtetal.
While saving the day
His players would say,
"JD, you're not very original."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 09, 2011, 03:16:04 AM
The original provides more context for the punchline.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on January 09, 2011, 07:34:14 AM
Quote
I couldn't stand the people. It's like Axis & Allies is the official tabletop game of the Tea Party.

- my friend Patrick, on why he stopped visiting A&A forums.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 12, 2011, 04:19:31 PM
Quote
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Source (http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/97jht/i_hate_my_job/)

[spoiler]That last line is quite the payoff :glee:[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 16, 2011, 03:28:37 AM
<Brentai> Is there a limit to how many times you can continue in a chapter in Bayonetta?
<+Ridley> yes
<+Ridley> the limit is how long you can stand to look at Bayonetta
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 18, 2011, 03:57:23 PM
Quote from: The Onion
Political Pundits Surprisingly Good At Getting Inside Mentally Unbalanced Shooter’s Head

:glee:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on January 19, 2011, 01:05:37 PM
Quote
<Aoko> Seriously,. she smells bad. Like, very heavy smoking, some sort of perfume distilled from old leather, it gives me a  headache
<Mali-gone> But must be in a seperate case.
<Romosome> Lyrai is this family
<Aoko> And if I mention it to her, she;'ll respond the same way she has literally responded to every other thing in the entire time in the class - about how her boyfriend beat and raped her 8 years ago
<Aoko> Yes, I understand it's a traumatic experience and yes, it can cause damage
<Romosome> you should beat her and rape her so she has something new to talk about
<Mali-gone> take a fucking shower,y ou hipper.
<Mali-gone> hippy
<joxam> Saturn, I have two. I feel kind of like a hypocrit advocating gun control and education with a glock (two high capacity clips) at my desk and a berreta in my mother's china cabinet..
<yeoz> some stuff is hard to move on from
<Mali-gone> Sorry.
<Aoko> But you have sat here and explain to the class, in very uncomfortable detail, about how you're waiting for 2012 so "the world will be bathed in fire, and I can dance in it as I die."
<zaratustra> Aoko: Reply with "Yeah, I can still smell him on you"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 19, 2011, 06:46:17 PM
Quote
<Aoko> But you have sat here and explain to the class, in very uncomfortable detail, about how you're waiting for 2012 so "the world will be bathed in fire, and I can dance in it as I die."

not wanting to cause it herself? zzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Koah on January 20, 2011, 04:38:46 PM
Quote
<@Romosome> did you know Bruce Lee had only one ball
<@Romosome> one of his testicles did not descend at birth
<@Romosome> there is a simple reason for this. Imagine how awesome Bruce Lee was with one ball.
<@patito> that must be his secret
<@Romosome> If he had both he would turn gold and fly and shoot lasers and shit
<@Romosome> it was to protect us
<+Ridley> it was to protect HIM
<+Ridley> having a laser penis is a bit of a social disadvantage.
<Lottel> But with great power cums great responsibility
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 21, 2011, 08:32:23 AM
Quote
I just had a video-stream advertisement ask me if I was tired of waiting for videos to load. Someone did not think that one through.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on January 21, 2011, 02:21:28 PM
Quote
<myew> I'd go but down a youtube link, but inversely proportional rate to 'SHARKEY SEXING SILVERSONG STOP GEOTHERMAL IN MURDERING SPREE STOP SIXTEEN DEAD STOP SEND PIZZA AND SHOTGUNS STOP'.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 30, 2011, 11:47:41 AM
Quote
<BongoBill>   I can't say crotch. I have Can't-Say-Crotch disease.
<Kisai_Sakurai>   Wait, sexually dimorphic?
<Brentai>   You just said crotch twice!
<BongoBill>   No, I typed it.
<Brentai>   ni
<Friday>   Ni!
<Meikai>   it isn't just the crotch, though
<Friday>   Brentai
<Friday>   get out of my mind
<Friday>   right now
<Meikai>   speaking of crotches
<Brentai>   Nuh uh
<Friday>   you're slimy and
<Meikai>   black swan
<Brentai>   I'm gonna make a nest and curl up.

And zeeeeen

Quote
<Romosome>   He is trying so hard to not care that it's obvious he cares about not caring.
<Romosome>   He has failed at ironic davecool
<zaratustra>   is this like sharkey
<zaratustra>   "I don't care!" "I don't care more!"
<Brentai>   Yeah it's a webcomic by Sha
<Kisai_Sakurai>   Hey yeah, what happened to Sharkey? I almost forgot about him.
<zaratustra>   died
<Brentai>   GET OUT OF MY MIND IT'S IN FRIDAY'S MIND
<zaratustra>   we need to go deeper
<Brentai>   WE'VE GONE DO
<Brentai>   ...
<Brentai>   FUCK
<Brentai>   YOU
<zaratustra>   :3
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on February 04, 2011, 04:03:12 AM
Banks in Europe and the U.S. have finally figured a way to socialize their losses and privatize their gains. (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2180382)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on February 04, 2011, 04:46:04 AM
This is old news.  On that note, the Koch brothers, supporters of Self-Made Man propaganda and huge suckles on the government teat. (http://exiledonline.com/a-people-history-of-koch-industries-part-ii-libertarian-billionaires-charles-and-david-koch-are-closetcase-subsidy-kings-who-milk-big-government-tyranny-but-want-to-slash-spending-on-anyone-else/)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on February 04, 2011, 12:05:14 PM
Why is this in the quotes thread?  :wat:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on February 04, 2011, 12:23:27 PM
My guess is that they originally intended to make a short snippet of the article, link it, and then add their own, personal vitriol-laden vomit to the mix.

Then they decided that's old hat and made a link. But forgot to move it to Thad's board.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on February 04, 2011, 04:52:30 PM
My guess is that they originally intended to make a short snippet of the article, link it, and then add their own, personal vitriol-laden vomit to the mix.

Then they decided that's old hat and made a link. But forgot to move it to Thad's board.
It was well-worded, not new information.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on February 10, 2011, 09:14:41 AM
"Once, a clerk at home depot described to me in precise detail everything I needed to build a beer bong. I thanked him for his time and assembly instructions."

"Did you ask him, or did he just look at you and feel like you were the type of person who was probably wondering about it?"

"I was buying a funnel."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on February 10, 2011, 09:51:42 AM
<Joxam> I thought brent lived in so cal and not with his mom?
<JDigital> moms can live in socal too
<Joxam> NO
<Kazz> SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
<Stush> Brentai is so cal
<Kazz> NO MOMS ALLOWED
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on February 10, 2011, 10:55:20 PM
From Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States

Quote
Henry Ford, in March 1931, said the crisis was here because "the averageman won't really do a day's work unless he is caught and cannot get out of it. There is plenty of work to do if people would do it." A few weeks later he laid off 75,000 workers.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on February 11, 2011, 09:53:29 AM
<yeoz-on-the-train-home> fuck this block
* yeoz-on-the-train-home is now known as yeoz
<yeoz> someone was trying to rob a guy in a wheelchair
<yeoz> how low can you get new york >:|
<Moebius> Pretty low, apparently
<yeoz> my block has to be like the highest crime block in the city >:|
<Cait> That sounds nearly as low as Chicago.
 yeoz rotates
 yeoz rotates angrily
<sede> Seethe & Spin
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 12, 2011, 05:58:11 AM
<Upthorn>   oh, I have a story which may appeal to #finalfight's interests
<Upthorn>   some friends I visit frequently have roommates which watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit on netflix all the time
<Upthorn>   but their roommates just call it "rape".
<Upthorn>   "Hey guys, what are you watching?" "Rape."
<JD>   It's accurate
<Upthorn>   "Wanna watch some rape with us?"
<Upthorn>   So, when the episode ends, and the first credit is "Created by Dick Wolf" it just makes so much sense.
<Brentai>   ...wow, seriously?
<Upthorn>   yes.
<Brentai>   Guy named Dick Wolf. Created a show pretty much about rape.
<Esperath>   ...
<Esperath>   .......
<Upthorn>   well apparently
<Upthorn>   he actually created /all/ of the law and orders
<Upthorn>   but
<Upthorn>   it is more important
<Upthorn>   that he also created rape.
<Brentai>   Yes but somewhere in that mess he decided
<Esperath>   Creator:
<Brentai>   OKAY
<Esperath>   Dick Wolf
<Brentai>   SPINOFF
<Esperath>   holy shit
<Brentai>   ALL RAPE
<Brentai>   ALL THE TIME
<Brentai>   And everyone just looked at him.
<Brentai>   And he was like
<Brentai>   WHAT
<Brentai>   I AM DICK WOLF
<Upthorn>   and they were like
<Upthorn>   "THAT IS THE BEST IDEA"
<Brentai>   CAN'T LET YOU TAP THAT, STAR FOX.
<Esperath>   it is a series
<Upthorn>   and they made the show.
<Esperath>   about rape culture
<Esperath>   Law and Order: Rape Culture Unit
<Esperath>   QUICK, SEND OUT THE RCU
<Brentai>   I did not know there was such a thing as rape culture.
<Cait>   It's what you use to make rapegurt.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 22, 2011, 09:36:45 AM
* @Fridaway tackles her snowman
* @Fridaway rolls with her snowman in the snow
<@Romosome> Friday do that and take pictures
<+Esperath> Brentai rapes your snowman.
<@Romosome> just bundle up so nobody can see your face
* @Fridaway gradually begins to understand that the snowman has always been there for her
<@Romosome> sex snowman, sex snowman
* @Fridaway begins to realize that the one she has loved has always been him
<@Romosome> how did he get heeeeeeeeeeere
* @Fridaway marries snowman
<R^2> Friday builds her snowmen anatomically correct for just such a purpose.
* @Fridaway wedding night, bow chicka wow
<@Romosome> Friday you don't know where that's been
* @Fridaway mourns her snowman come spring
<@Romosome> snowbabies?!
* @Fridaway gives birth to snowbabies 7 months later
* @Fridaway eats them
<+BongoBill> No, don't do that!
<+BongoBill> You'll get an ice cream headache!
<maou> and then winter... comes again.  teehee
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on February 22, 2011, 10:26:14 AM
excellent
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on February 24, 2011, 10:10:30 AM
http://twitter.com/mrtimlong/status/38708648511275008 (http://twitter.com/mrtimlong/status/38708648511275008)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on February 25, 2011, 10:42:54 AM
Quote from: Ike
Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.

via (http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/rich-man-poor-man-class-solidarity-in.html) via (http://thismodernworld.com/archives/5652)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 26, 2011, 10:00:47 AM
<StushSleep> Rice is good, though!
<StushSleep> You can eat all the rice you want and you'll never gain weight
<StushSleep> Believe me, i'm a science
<@Friday> The Scientific Field of Stush.
<@Friday> A new breakthrough was made today by scientists studying the field of Stush. You can now build: Hams, Jet Packs, Woman's Suffrage
<StushSleep> Delicious women's suffrage
<maou> Stush leads to Suffrage?  News to me.  I guess that's what I get for not looking at the tech tree before joining #finalfight.
<+BongoBill> Jet Packs were invented in New Zealand by studying the behavior of airborne Stush Particles carried by the gulf stream from Australia.
<StushSleep> I love to see women suffrage
<@Friday> The Theory of Stush says we were evolved from land-faring hams
<@Friday> The first hams to descend from their trees and make those first few momentous steps before getting killed and eaten by large killer-hams
<@Cait> These 'hamosaurs' as they were later called roamed the earth for millenia
<@Friday> Eventually the killer hams evolved in the Hamosaurs, which ruled the planet for 5 billion years with a Ham-fist
<@Friday> damn it cait
<maou> Millenia later, an eccentric old man invests in the building of his new theme-zoo, jurassic pork.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 26, 2011, 03:20:49 PM
<@Friday> oh, wow
<@Friday> it was Nigeria, too
<@Friday> can we just ban Nigeria from the internet?
<+BongoBill> Friday, but then we'd have no Nollywood movies.
<Stush> Man
<Stush> Seriously, $200,000?
<@Friday> sure.
<Stush> That's nuts.
<@Friday> Romance cons are fucking easy.
<@Friday> they do themselves.
<@Friday> no pun intended.
<Stush> If someone wanted $200,000 from me, they'd have to come to my house and like, I dunno, show me their bottom
<@Friday> cons are easy in general, but getting some poor lovelost sap to wire you money to "help you out" is like shooting fish in a barrel
* @Friday flies to Stush, shows bottom
<@Friday> WHERES MY 200,000!
<Stush> I AM FROM NIGERIA
<@Friday> FUCK
* Stush fades away slowly, laughing
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on February 27, 2011, 10:25:55 AM
Comment on a Youtube video (http://bit.ly/g2h9mb):

(2E) DM: The chamberlain beckons you guys to come meet the king. Paladin: "Greetings my liege, it's an honour to meet such a brave warlord and noble ruler". Bard: "I will sing a song about your deeds". Cleric: "We are the right men to rescue your daughter". Thief: "I backstab the chamberlain".

(4E) DM: This cool (expensive) miniature is the king, he is 6 squares away from you". Paladin: "Hello king, how difficult is this challenge?" Thief: "I backstab the chamberlain".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on February 28, 2011, 01:45:35 AM
[08:40]   <Esperath>   complex 6 was probably the most hilarious in terms of test phases
[08:40]   <Esperath>   http://i.imgur.com/zLWYF.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/zLWYF.jpg)
[08:41]   <zaratustra>   where do I get bridge it :(
[08:41]   <drethelin>   bridget is a trap zara
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on February 28, 2011, 06:30:37 PM
"Sometimes I think I am the only person who doesn't understand women."

I chuckled for a bit too long.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on March 01, 2011, 04:16:24 PM
[00:55] <Rottel> chick that friended me on facebook that is a friend of a friend of a friend is chatting me
[00:55] <@Friday> a chick who friended me on friendfriend turned out to be a dog
[00:55] <@Friday> arf
[00:55] <@Romosome> LOTTEL FUCKING STOP HAVING FACEBOOK DRAMA IN HERE JESUS CHRIST WE GET IT YOU ARE A FUCKING HAREM ANIME
[00:55] <@Friday> ARF ARF ARF
[00:55] <@Romosome> JUST BANG THEM ALL AND BE DONE WITH IT
[00:55] <Rottel> I am not having facebook drama
[00:55] <@Romosome> ROMOSOME IS SOLVING PROBLEMS TODAY WHO ELSE HAS A PROBLEM
[00:55] <@Friday> I HAVE A PROBLEM
[00:55] <Rottel> AND YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM, JERK
[00:56] <Rottel> SEX THEM AL
[00:56] <Rottel> L
[00:56] <Rottel> OR SEX THEM, AL
[00:56] <@Friday> ROMOSOME MY PROBLEM IS THAT POLLUTION IS TOO HIGH, CONTRUCT MORE RAILROADS
[00:56] <Rottel> whichever
[00:56] * @Romosome cuts back on funding
[00:56] <JDigital> Romosome: I don't know how to get from Dublin railway station to the Dublin airport
[00:56] * Brentai cuts Friday's funding.
[00:56] <Brentai> FUCK
[00:56] <+BongoBill> YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!!!
[00:56] <@Friday> HELICOPTER 1 REPORTING HEAVY TRAFFIC
[00:56] <@Friday> YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS
[00:56] * @Friday begins to deteriorate
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on March 07, 2011, 11:54:20 PM
[06:55]   <Esperath>   squizzle is a delivery boy
[06:55]   <Esperath>   he delivers sex
[06:56]   -->|   BongoBill has joined #finalfight
[06:56]   <Squizzle>   Today I become a delivery man.
[06:56]   =-=   Mode #finalfight +v BongoBill by ChanServ
[06:56]   * Squizzle delivers, to Bongo.
[06:56]   * BongoBill receives?
[06:56]   <Esperath>   he sure does
[06:56]   <Squizzle>   8)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 08, 2011, 06:56:58 AM
I keep reading those first two lines in the "sex robot" voice.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 14, 2011, 03:46:04 PM
Quote from: Dantes
Quote from: Basilisk
I think I just read some motorcycle fan fiction

At least it wasn't Motorcycle/car slash fiction. Then you might have had to read about a tranny.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 14, 2011, 05:01:26 PM
"I hit on this chick and she didn't say a word. It took me a minute to realize she was actually deaf"

My little brother's tweets usually make me laugh but this spring break is like Christmas for me
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Burrito Al Pastor on March 17, 2011, 08:27:05 AM
Quote
An arrest was made tonight by an officer that works in my building. The legal name of the person arrested? Haywood Jablowme.

How tough has his life been?


And it seems to be self fulfilling prophecy that he is a male transvestite prostitute.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on March 17, 2011, 11:46:43 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/GpzNz.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 30, 2011, 10:17:38 AM
<zaratustra> drinking a mint julep at the kentucky derby has to be the whitest possible action
<+Ridley> zara no
<maou> I thought the whitest possible action was oppressing a minority.
<MetalSlime> Wrong
<MetalSlime> It's country music
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 31, 2011, 11:38:01 AM
<SlimeDroid> !friday
<Aoko> ROMO! HOTTEST MOM GIRL! TEN SECONDS GO.
<SlimeDroid> mom girl??
<Rygaron> Mom Girl sounds like a good sidekick to have.
<sei> no, Rygaron. she is not very responsible.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 31, 2011, 11:38:11 AM
<SlimeDroid> !friday
<Aoko> ROMO! HOTTEST MOM GIRL! TEN SECONDS GO.
<SlimeDroid> mom girl??
<Rygaron> Mom Girl sounds like a good sidekick to have.
<sei> no, Rygaron. she is not very responsible.
* Squizzle has quit (Read error: No route to host)
<sei> otherwise she would just be "girl"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 31, 2011, 11:38:28 AM
GOD DAMN FRIDAYS GET OFF MY LAWN
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 31, 2011, 10:03:57 PM
<+Esperath> !haiku for wolfgame
<Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: He doesn't talk much. / No one's gonna eat your eyes / I got off scott free.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kayma on April 01, 2011, 05:35:22 AM
That is so perfect.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 01, 2011, 10:40:29 PM
[01:30] <Brentai> Estimated cost of Japan earthquake is over $300 billion.
[01:30] <+Smiler> Would that be around how much we spend on wars in a year, or how much we spend on wars every couple years?
[01:30] <+drethelin> i think that's about the yearly cost of iraq
[01:31] <+Smiler> Man, just imagine.
[01:31] <+Smiler> If we weren't in Iraq, we would have almost 10 Japans by now
[01:31] <Brentai> Total cost of Iraq War since its inception is around $704 billion.
[01:31] <Brentai> So no, just two Japans.
[01:31] <+Smiler> Okay 2.33 Japans
[01:31] <Brentai> Er, yes.
[01:32] <Brentai> Oh, that figure is for both Iraq AND Afghanistan.
[01:33] <Brentai> The actual cost is significantly higher because of debt though.
[01:33] <Brentai> None of that is actually paid, haw haw.
[01:35] <Brentai> But yeah the earthquake is about as expensive as three years of heavy combat.
[01:35] <Brentai> Well, for varying definitions of heavy.
[01:36] <Brentai> Japan is about as fucked as Iraq was in 2006 is what I'm saying.
[01:37] <Stush> But at least we got saddam out of japan.
[01:37] <Stush> MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on April 02, 2011, 03:04:20 AM
If there were stushes everywhere, world peace.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on April 02, 2011, 07:20:54 AM
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” - John Steinbeck
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 02, 2011, 08:26:59 AM
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” - John Steinbeck

tbf my father thought that way and it turned out he was right.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on April 03, 2011, 12:44:51 AM
[01:21:02] * +Aoko presses the Shihorin pressure point in Brentai's body
[01:21:13] <Brentai> Um
[01:21:37] <+Aoko> According to this "List of Pressure Points shown in the anime and manga"
[01:21:44] <+Aoko> The Shihorin Point...allows you to read Sanskrit
[01:21:54] <Brentai> Oh that one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 04, 2011, 01:18:58 PM
[16:15] <zaratustra> shit my gf is home
[16:15] <zaratustra> I think I didn't close the porn tabs
[16:16] <zaratustra> shit she might be reading this
[16:16] <zaratustra> shit
[16:16] <@Silversong> why is that bad, zara?
[16:16] <JDigital> can she read english
[16:16] <zaratustra> she does not like it when I look at porn
[16:16] <+drethelin> just photoshop her face over all the faces
[16:16] <+drethelin> then it will be ok
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on April 05, 2011, 01:03:58 PM
6:28   SlimeDroid   !wand gg
16:28   Aoko   * SlimeDroid waves the "AshWood Hammer of Wonder" and points it at gg -  366 gg becomes a loser and cannot hold down a job, gg fails in romantic situations etc.
16:28   yeoz   LOL
16:29   gg   fuck
16:29   gg   what
16:29   gg   the fuck
16:29   R^2   Daaaag
16:29   gg   slime
16:29   gg   fuck you
16:29   gg   forever
16:29      *** gg left #finalfight

R^2   Probably not the best result for a guy who just moved across the country to find work and be with a lady.
16:30   SlimeDroid   oops
16:30   R^2   "Just" being "last night" if I'm not mistaken.
16:30   maou   This game is so racist.
16:31   gg   hehe i am both terrified and impressed by coincidence


6:54   zaratustra    this (http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/094/9/a/rong_by_mjranum-d3d8tyk.jpg)... is actually kinda hot (nsfw)
16:55   yeoz   how nsfw
16:55   yeoz   also how hot
16:55      *** Shinefrodo joined #finalfight
16:56      *** VgameT joined #finalfight
16:58   gg   yeoz, the nipples and vagina are covered
16:58   gg   but it is a naked woman taking it teddy-bear style
16:58   gg   it is rather hot
16:58   yeoz   thx *click*
16:58   gg   assuming his penis is where his legs meet, he has horrible penetration
16:59   gg   she must be in pain from the chafing as well, assuming the faux fur covers his member
17:00   gg   he appears to be thinking about something else
17:00   gg   probably the office
17:00      *** Esperath joined #finalfight
17:00      +++ ChanServ has given voice to Esperath
17:00   gg   a good technique, imho
17:00   Esperath   !haiku
17:00   Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: it's never lupus / covered in a thick cheese sauce / I wanna do it!
17:00   Esperath   ew
17:01   gg   man wand and haiku are all over the context today
17:01   gg   !haiku for my shattered nerves
17:01   Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: you do not know fear / Warriors, come out to play / good-ass barbecue
17:01   gg   thanks
17:01   Esperath   haha
17:01   Esperath   WARRIORS, IT'S RIB NIGHT IN OUR BACKYARD
17:01   gg   LET US PLAY AND HAVE MILLER LIGHT
17:02   Esperath   CAN YOU DIG IT?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on April 06, 2011, 09:30:56 PM
<Vance> God damn it, put a song in a Fallout game and the furries will get their hands on it eventually.
<drethelin1> what
<Romosome> I hate to break it to you Vance but furries will get their hands on anything
<drethelin1> paws
<Vance> Louis Amrstrong's A Kiss to Build a Dream On. First youtube hit was full of Sims, anime characters, and raccoons kissing
<Brentai> I don't want to know what they did with Butcher Pete.
<Smiler> and he's jerkin it jerkin it jerkin it
<Brentai> He LOVES that meat!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on April 09, 2011, 07:16:11 PM
<MetalSlime> So, sex question ladies
<Friday> about 7 inches
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 11, 2011, 06:40:38 PM
Quote from: Marmalade
I was at the vet getting meds today and the receptionist was on the phone with some woman with a sick guinea pig. She needed more information about how to treat her guinea pig, so the receptionist was switching back and forth between this woman and the vet:

-She's a little confused, does she need to apply the medication over the guinea pig's entire penis?
-Yes, you need to apply it over its entire penis... One moment, I'll ask him.
-If the penis isn't, um, sticking out all the way, does she need to...? Alright.
-Yes, you'll need to.. coax the penis out and apply the medication.


It was the kind of background chatter you'd hear in a movie. Everyone in the office was not making eye contact as hard as possible.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 11, 2011, 07:06:00 PM
one day the human race will evolve beyond giving a shit about genitals and then a space asteroid will destroy the sun because what kind of world would that be
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 12, 2011, 07:13:26 AM
[09:38] <Guildenstern> www.stickam.com/sytes (http://www.stickam.com/sytes)
[09:38] <Guildenstern> see me freak over interviews
[09:41] * Silversong preps Guild for his interview, Rocky style
[09:41] <Stush> Oh god
[09:41] <Stush> She's strung him up in a freezer
[09:41] <Stush> And now she's punching him
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: teg on April 17, 2011, 06:42:46 PM
<teg> but but but
<teg> it's got ducks in it
<teg> you like ducks
<teg> everyone likes ducks
<Ada Bee> That is true
<Ada Bee> I cannot deny that I like dicks
<Ada Bee> er
<Ada Bee> GOD
<teg> HOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Ada Bee> DAMMIT
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 18, 2011, 11:08:35 AM
From my The Girlfriend:

Quote
Sometimes, I wish I could have some kind of Tom Waits translation device. The way it would basically work is that whatever anyone said at any time would go through the device and enter my ears in Tom's voice and intonation and such...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 22, 2011, 10:47:19 AM
[13:46] <+Smiler> bam
[13:46] <+Smiler> I spoiled ME3 for you all
[13:46] <myew> And bam, cats no longer have any legs.
[13:46] <+Smiler> :D
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on April 22, 2011, 12:10:07 PM
Little did the Reavers know, with cats no longer being cute the known universe finally got off the fucking internet to fight back.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 22, 2011, 01:34:20 PM
Monorail cat gets around just fine without em anyway
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 22, 2011, 01:56:56 PM
Little did the Reavers know, with cats no longer being cute the known universe finally got off the fucking internet to fight back.

Ahem. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/legless-cat-up-for-adoption-11365115&tab=9482931&section=1206839&playlist=2737498&page=2)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on April 22, 2011, 04:23:43 PM
Hipster cat had no legs before it was mandatory?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Burrito Al Pastor on April 24, 2011, 11:10:14 AM
Quote from: Tertullian
That the Son of God died is to be believed because it is incredible; that He is risen is certain because it is impossible.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 24, 2011, 04:31:43 PM
My four year old niece: What happens if you take your dog's collar off?

Me: Oh, her head falls off.

(Immediately after this, I explained to her that my dog's head would not fall off if I took her collar off, and took her collar off to make sure she believed me. I just thought it was funny.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on April 24, 2011, 07:05:24 PM
My four year old niece: What happens if you take your dog's collar off?

Me: Oh, her head falls off.

There are scary stories that end that way.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Burrito Al Pastor on April 24, 2011, 09:33:52 PM
Washington Irving's "The Adventure of the German Student" is a particularly good one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on April 25, 2011, 03:42:33 AM
There was the one about the green ribbon from "Scary Stories to Put in First Grade Daycares And Permanently Traumatize Children For Life Seriously Did You People Even Look At The Illustrations Let Alone Read This Oh Wait You Read It Aloud To Us On Halloween Just Because It Was In The Scholastic Reading Catalog For Some Reason What The Fuck"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 25, 2011, 06:04:37 AM
Pale Woman knows where you live.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 25, 2011, 06:33:43 AM
<zara2stra> Jesus Christ: Innocent role. If killed, comes back 3 turns later.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on April 25, 2011, 11:07:30 AM
Lobst: @zarawesome When a romance option is blocked I imagine a white guy holding up a stop sign saying "OUR STANDARDS ONLY" + family-feud buzzer

zarawesome: @lobst I was very disappointed when I couldn't get it on with cremia in majora's mask

happy_mask: @zarawesome You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 25, 2011, 06:44:03 PM
Quote from: Pepper
so sex ed in tennessee when I was in scholl was just blatant blatant conservative christian propaganda. they never mention birth control, just diseases and abstinence. oh and then they try and bribe you with coupons.

but my problems being as they were I didn't necessarily have a good grasp on the wisdom of bringing up certain topics/ calling out bullshit from authority. My grandmother was a nurse and her house was full of all sorts of (outdated) books, so I had read stuff from kinsey and masters and johnson among other things..... so I started a debate with the speaker in the middle of an assembly. I only recall that the handful of friends I did have though it was hilarious after the fact.
Quote from: Grak
I went to a Catholic school and they taught us about birth control :wacko:
Quote from: leprosy
A jesuit school? if so, makes sense.
Quote from: Grak
Yep.

I distinctly remember in 8th grade (Catholic Grade school) we were allowed to put question in a box for the sex ed class and our teacher (who's son was in my grade) would answer them.  This was in addition to the sex ed curriculum.  Anyways, one of the questions was about oral sex and ejaculate and she said "it's not that bad, it's only about a tablespoon and doesn't taste like much of anything and it's safe to swallow."  This was awesome on two levels.  First, she was encouraging the 8th graders in the room to perform oral sex because it's not that bad.  And two, she was clearly speaking from personal experience.

Which, at the time I thought "wow, that has to be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to an 8th grader.  His mom just announced to our class that she blows her husband and swallows."  Then she topped it by getting a divorce, convincing our pastor to leave the priesthood and then running off with him and getting married.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 26, 2011, 10:08:41 PM
[01:07] <+Tyria> myew keeps getting more and more coherent
[01:07] <Guild> it's...
[01:07] <Guild> spookhy
[01:07] <myew> Tyria: Well i thought they were coherent.
[01:07] <+Tyria> myew, terrify guild
[01:07] <myew> Tyria: Yeah guild, you're making me want to see a doctor.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on April 27, 2011, 12:00:42 PM
[15:00] <myew> Like i was playing coop with just kissing and cuddling and stuff. Really hard pet-play, even going so well.. I guess drama is instigated by americans.

 <myew> Detonator was here when sharkey had a partial miscarry and i hope im not a regular wolf. Kazz.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on April 27, 2011, 04:18:00 PM
myew myew myew
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 27, 2011, 06:23:44 PM
Nyan cat?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: teg on April 28, 2011, 06:24:24 AM
Little did the Reavers know, with cats no longer being cute the known universe finally got off the fucking internet to fight back.

Ahem. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/legless-cat-up-for-adoption-11365115&tab=9482931&section=1206839&playlist=2737498&page=2)
That 27-second clip had a 1-minute commercial for a psoriasis medication preceding it.
It got increasingly weird, too. There were about 30 seconds of warnings following the actual commercial, including stuff like "may increase your risk of cancer" and "if problem persists, contact your doctor; it may be evidence of a rare brain condition".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on April 28, 2011, 02:10:34 PM
[15:08]   JDigital   D&D inspired the RPG video game genre, and many other genres borrowed its mechanics
[15:08]   Esperath   so tolkien invented pokemon
[15:09]   JDigital   One ring to catch 'em all
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 01, 2011, 08:13:00 PM
myew   Brentai: Man, am i sexy, or just questionably sexy?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on May 03, 2011, 08:12:19 PM
You might have heard this one already, but the codename that they were using for bin Laden was "Geronimo".

This did not happen under the Texan.
Trying to figure out why this is ironic or otherwise especially worthy of comment I did a wiki search. And found this gem, from the larger piece (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geronimo#Biography).

Quote from: Hurrah for wikipedia
As a Chiricahua Apache, this meant he was one of many people with special spiritual insights and abilities known to Apache people as "Power". Among these were the ability to walk without leaving tracks; the abilities now known as telekinesis and telepathy; and the ability to survive gunshot (rifle/musket, pistol, and shotgun).

I just wanted that little trifle of wiki "goodness" saved for posterity before someone a little more skeptical undoes it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on May 04, 2011, 06:12:06 PM
Little kid was sitting at a table with his family and looks at the TV. He stood up, pointed at the TV, and shouted "Why are you watching that? It's a BASTARD show!" Then sat back down, and ate his pizza.  Every time he'd glance up he would shout "BASTARD SHOW."

I think it was iCarly. Maybe Spongebob.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 04, 2011, 07:15:58 PM
Quote
Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you!

(http://brontoforum.us/Smileys/classic/rolleye.gif)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on May 06, 2011, 09:45:28 AM
<NexAdruin> So uh... My dad just came home with two hookers. Luckily they didn't stay long...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on May 06, 2011, 09:58:45 AM
Advice for all the single men: You want to live the threesome dream? It can cost you as little as 40 dollars.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Defenestration on May 11, 2011, 08:48:06 PM
Quote
Sometimes, after I finish masturbating I watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyFQVZ2h0V8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyFQVZ2h0V8)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on May 12, 2011, 08:58:10 PM
[23:57] <Brentai> I can't keep track of who's a breast man and who's going to jail around here.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 15, 2011, 04:34:13 AM
<zaratustra3> Definition of indie: If your game has received an award before it's finished, it's indie. If then it doesn't get finished, it's VERY indie.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 15, 2011, 04:10:24 PM
<+ME-tan> Friday
<+ME-tan> Just in time for another gift to you
<+ME-tan> "NEW YORK, April 5 (UPI) -- Hollywood actor Keanu Reeves says a script is being written for a third installment in his "Bill & Ted" big-screen comedy franchise."
<Brentai> Friday
<Brentai> Just in time for another gift to you
* Brentai gives Friday a gift.
<MetalSlime> Is the gift molesting her?
<+ME-tan> It's his penis.
<Brentai> DAMN IT YOU ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION >:(
<Brentai> (You are supposed to imagine sex.)
<@Friday> Wow Bill and Ted
<@Friday> Nice Lyrai
<@Friday> WoW a Penis
<@Friday> Nice Brentai
<@Friday> No idea why I typed "WoW" as if Brentai gave me a penis in the game
<Brentai> World of Warcraft: a Penis
<Brentai> (It's an EXPANSION)
<MetalSlime> Everyone complained how unbalanced it was though
<MetalSlime> They said it wasn't hard enough
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on May 16, 2011, 12:44:01 AM
<Stush>   Man
<myew>   Man, fuck your chest hole.
<Stush>   Building village upgrades takes soooo looong
<Lottel>   the fuck, myew?
<Lottel>   the fuck
<myew>   No myew but myew and me and myew.
<Lottel>   WHO TAUGHT MYEW TO HATE ME SO SPECIFICALLY?
<Stush>   Myew doesn't hate.
<myew>   Stush: I hate the autotuning in it.
<Stush>   Myew, show lottel your love!
<myew>   Stush: I would love to love your body.
<Stush>   D:
<Lottel>   D:
<Lottel>   WHO TAUGHT MYEW TO SEX STUSHES?
<Lottel>   Good job
<myew>   A stushes love is a sex bot if you are myew.
<Esperath>   ha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 17, 2011, 07:08:37 PM
Quote
“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say, ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.

Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person. ... They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all," - Sir Charles Barkley.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 17, 2011, 07:19:09 PM
Quote
Sir Charles Barkley.

I actually went on Wiki to see if he'd been knighted but didn't find any information.

Now I am picturing knights in full armor playing basketball and like one of them slam dunks and the other gets pissed and takes off his gauntlet and throws down and then they mount horses and joust
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on May 17, 2011, 08:00:03 PM
[23:56] <MaserBeing> I won't have a PS3 much longer at this rate
[23:58] <MaserBeing> anyway I've got its guts hanging out but the inside of the actual bluray drive is way scary
[23:58] <sei> RIP AND TEAR!
[23:58] <MaserBeing> SHUT UP SEI THIS IS SERIOUS


Only people regular to #ff will probably get this one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 17, 2011, 10:28:19 PM
Quote
Sir Charles Barkley.

I actually went on Wiki to see if he'd been knighted but didn't find any information.

It's a nickname.  Far as I know Americans can't be Sirs.

But good for him.  I always liked that guy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on May 18, 2011, 03:00:30 AM
In American peerage, you're "That", not "Sir". As in "Oh, you're That Charles Barkley."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on May 18, 2011, 05:25:59 AM
Not a role model indeed. I don't know much about Barkley, but he seems to strike me fairly intellectual and introspective, which, admittedly, is hard for professional athletes to project.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on May 18, 2011, 05:29:48 AM
Far as I know Americans can't be Sirs.

Bill Gates got knighted (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3428673.stm) remember.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on May 18, 2011, 05:32:56 AM
"Honorary" is the key term. If I recall, our constitution specifically forbids titles.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 18, 2011, 05:36:46 AM
It's the same in Canada. That's why Conrad Black renounced his citizenship.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on May 18, 2011, 08:41:48 AM
Barkley was one of the best parts of Space Jam. He should be knighted for that movie alone.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 18, 2011, 04:49:03 PM
Far as I know Americans can't be Sirs.

Bill Gates got knighted (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3428673.stm) remember.

Quote from: the fourth sentence of the thing you just linked
As an American citizen he cannot use the title "Sir" but will be entitled to put the letters KBE after his name.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on May 19, 2011, 06:38:52 AM
Misunderstanding of what you meant by "can't be Sirs"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on May 19, 2011, 08:53:43 AM
Do not know if sirs
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on May 19, 2011, 10:53:25 AM
Warning: This discussion is canon. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BarkleyShutUpAndJamGaiden)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on May 19, 2011, 11:52:29 AM
"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain." -American sports legend, Charles Barkley (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003611)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 19, 2011, 09:35:13 PM
MindWarped: When I was in school, someone who lived on my block kept their beater honda civic parked across the street. The license plate was "PWNED". I was pretty impressed.
MindWarped: I am easily impressed.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on May 21, 2011, 01:06:30 AM
<Envy> !haiku for guild.
Haiku Novicework: Metal Gear Solid: / Best karate still inside / I'll never join you!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 21, 2011, 03:39:54 AM
<Zara> I don't really believe in this rapture thing, but can anyone check if dolphins are still around?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 21, 2011, 04:23:27 PM
Milo: I like how Charles Xavier is British now just cuz because Patrick Stewart played him in 3 movies.
FS: everyone knows patrick stewart is french
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on May 23, 2011, 08:56:48 PM
[21:51] <Esperath> myew mario mario and luigi mario
[21:52] <myew> Esperath: We were talking about the rest of the phone it's mama luigi.
[21:52] <LaserBeing> myew mario mario mario mario mario mario mario
[21:52] <myew> LaserBeing: There are only two mario brothers.

Myew's a sharp one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on May 24, 2011, 12:17:51 PM
<+Esperath> zara
<+Esperath> you must construct
<+Esperath> additional
<+Esperath> PYLONS
<Zara> noooo
<+Esperath> PYLONS
<+Esperath> PYLONS
<+Esperath> NO
<+Esperath> NO MORE
<myew> Construct additional pylons?
<+Esperath> :3
<@Friday> myew, PYLONS
<Zara> yes myew, more pylons
<myew> Friday: Construct additional pylons?
<@Friday> myew, PYLONS
<+Esperath> myew we are the knights who say pylons
<myew> Pylons is a myew myew she is eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagine eating your father's shit imagin
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Catloaf on May 25, 2011, 11:30:33 AM
<@Romosome> She tempts my Moral Hazard by Revealing her Preferences. My Demand rises slowly as she takes off her Externalities. I start by feeling up her Firm Assets, working down her Long-Run Utility Curves, reaching her Private Goods, raising her Interest Rate. I begin my Input-Output Business Cycle. Priming the Pump with my Invisible Hand, I break down her Barriers to Entry with my Perfectly Inelastic Commodity, Inject my Liquidity into her
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Malikial on May 25, 2011, 01:09:56 PM
Sounds like Cake lyrics.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 25, 2011, 07:31:59 PM
Holy shit, Mal's right.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on May 27, 2011, 08:50:20 PM
[23:44] <@Fridaway> hahaha
[23:44] <@Fridaway> and old friend of mine
[23:44] <@Fridaway> was a good looking girl, short brown hair, kinda tallish (not as tall as me)
[23:44] <@Fridaway> but she had
[23:44] <@Fridaway> just
[23:45] <@Fridaway> the hugest fucking ass
[23:45] <@Fridaway> ever
[23:45] <@Fridaway> so there are some stories but the best one is just
[23:45] <@Fridaway> we're walking in the mall
[23:45] <@Fridaway> black guy walks past
[23:45] <@Fridaway> turns
[23:45] <@Fridaway> leans over sideways
[23:45] <@Romosome> :D
[23:45] <@Fridaway> "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!"
[23:45] <@Romosome> are you
[23:45] <myew> That thing needs gasoline and a sideways face.
[23:45] <@Romosome> serious.
[23:45] <@Fridaway> yes.
[23:45] <@Romosome> that guy is a hero.
[23:46] <@Romosome> A FIGURE OF LEGEND
[23:46] <@Fridaway> She really did have an enormous ass though.
[23:46] <@Romosome> SOME SAY THE BLACK GUY SAYING "DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN" AT ASSES IS ONLY A LEGEND
[23:46] <@Fridaway> A really wide hips.
[23:46] <@Romosome> BUT I SAW HIM THAT DAY
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on May 28, 2011, 12:01:25 AM
[00:59]   Stush   I wish they had chariots
[00:59]   myew   ... Yeah, that sounds awful.
[00:59]   Stush   Chariots would be great. :D
[01:00]   Esperath   myew disagrees
[01:00]   Stush   Hahah
[01:00]   myew   Esperath: @Carman: australia disagrees.
[01:00]   Esperath   haha
[01:00]   Stush   Imagine having a chariot with like, an archer in the back, and blades on the wheels
[01:00]   Esperath   stush is the official representative for australia
[01:00]   myew   Australia would be lying dead from their representative.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 28, 2011, 05:45:27 AM
<myew> Simon is such an awful lot like simon.
<SimonTheDigger> I am!
<Ted> myew, so true.
<myew> Ted: This channel contains the collective ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu of the true myew!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on May 29, 2011, 04:32:22 PM
[17:29] <myew> Krabby, snubbull, venonat, mankey, chansey and zubat, slowking, ditto, butterfree, lugia and caterpie! Oddish, poliwag, goldeen, elekid and nidoqueen! Victreebel and magneton, everybody polkamon!
[17:30] <Popoie> ...
[17:30] <Popoie> myew, I love you
[17:30] <myew> Popoie: Are you i love you myew.
[17:30] <Popoie> soon, we will merge
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on May 29, 2011, 05:05:02 PM
On a related note, I will never stop reading that name as poopie, Lyrai.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on May 29, 2011, 10:46:31 PM
<Brentai> sei how do i purchase bed
<sei> at sit'n'sleep blah blah blah OR YOUR MATTRESS IS FREEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Brentai> ...
<+Dejiko> ...I thought sei was myew there for a second
<Brentai> Oh fuck I forgot you get those commercials too.
<Brentai> sei I'm going to have to punch you
<Brentai> I'll be
<Brentai> ...
* Brentai shades
<Brentai> KILLING YOU LARRY
<+Dejiko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 30, 2011, 12:02:33 AM
Does any of that make a goddam bit of sense outside of Orange County?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 30, 2011, 05:36:13 AM
Nope.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 01, 2011, 05:46:36 AM
<Stush> I could wrestle a dingo easy
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on June 02, 2011, 07:43:27 AM
<@Romosome> myew is bi
<myew> Romosome: I'm bi and i'm jizzing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 02, 2011, 08:10:14 AM
QED: it is definitely time for a nude erection in america
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: NexAdruin on June 07, 2011, 12:46:36 PM
[16:45:54] <gg> i'm not a troll
[16:45:56] <gg> i'm a nice guy
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 07, 2011, 02:13:12 PM
Guild is the kindly old troll that lives under the bridge and jumps out to scare the little girls but they all know he's got no teeth and secretly has a heart of gold and helps lost little girls and leaves flowers on their schooldesks so they are only pretending to be scared to be polite
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on June 10, 2011, 12:53:33 PM
<Zara> also we really should've predicted this might happen when we heard the name "wii" in the first place
<Zara> it set a slippery slope
<Joxam> I think at the time everyone was giggling about playing with their wii.
<Zara> which won't stop until we hit Wii U Ooh Ah Ah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang
<Sharkey> HA
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 11, 2011, 05:25:38 PM
Quote from: pepper
this whole thing is a mess

Weiner has been exposed and it is just awkward

weiner should go hide in some hole until things blow over.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 12, 2011, 05:12:48 PM
<@Friday> ok so is anyone else MORE attracted to Samus now that's she's half metroid
<@Friday> because I totally am into that
* @Romosome raises hand
<@Friday> we've seen that metroids can return/transfer energy
<@Friday> so it's not all soul-sucking
<@Friday> maybe she can like
<@Friday> give you
<@Friday> really hyper orgasms
<@Romosome> energy blowjob
<Brentai> I would be if the Metroid Suit didn't look like Bill Cosby threw up all over it.
<@Friday> with the bippin' and the boppin' and the HURRRGHHGLHGHGLGHHLLGLH
<Brentai> And that's what the jazz is all about!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 12, 2011, 05:41:33 PM
<@Friday> ok so is anyone else MORE attracted to Samus now that's she's half metroid

Whoa wait, what what? Back up the truck. When did this happen?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Rosencrantz on June 12, 2011, 06:05:58 PM
<@Friday> ok so is anyone else MORE attracted to Samus now that's she's half metroid

Whoa wait, what what? Back up the truck. When did this happen?

...Seriously? Almost ten years ago.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 12, 2011, 06:15:57 PM
In Metroid:Fusion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metroid_Fusion).
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on June 12, 2011, 06:19:47 PM
buge you are fucking STUPID!!1

now somebody teach me how to find torrents of things
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 12, 2011, 07:00:49 PM
<@Friday> ok so is anyone else MORE attracted to Samus now that's she's half metroid

Whoa wait, what what? Back up the truck. When did this happen?

...Seriously? Almost ten years ago.

If that were true, there'd be more freaky fanart of it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Nerd on June 12, 2011, 07:10:32 PM
If that were true, there'd be more freaky fanart of it.
Good a time as any (http://lee-ham.deviantart.com/art/Metroid-Mutation-107040117?q=gallery%3Alee-ham%2F4043054&qo=15) to bring these out again. (http://lee-ham.deviantart.com/art/Samus-Aran-Larva-Suit-4169303)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 12, 2011, 08:19:01 PM
Wait, I thought you were Laser Being!?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on June 12, 2011, 09:28:23 PM
I am.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 12, 2011, 10:36:09 PM
Popoie   flips the table
Popoie   ( ╯‵口′)╯︵ ┻━┻
Guildenstern`s_Expensive_Lawye   ow hey what
Guildenstern`s_Expensive_Lawye   you guys what stop it
Brentai   molests the table
Guildenstern`s_Expensive_Lawye   what the fuck that is my table
Brentai   I just made the table mine.
Popoie   ┳━┳ ( ゚ -゚)
Popoie   ┳━┳ (゚ -゚ )
Popoie   ┳━┳ .....( ゚ -゚)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Misha on June 13, 2011, 10:08:25 AM
(1:07:29 PM) madmaxjr: I'd give you criticism, but you have a history of not taking it well.
(1:07:44 PM) gg: i have a history of defending my work
(1:07:48 PM) gg: that's quite different
(1:07:55 PM) gg: but if you're like scared of me or something fine
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on June 13, 2011, 02:34:32 PM
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/6959/51884020.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 14, 2011, 11:41:45 PM
[12:21:03am -7] <@Romosome> okay does Game of Thrones have something to do with Dire Wolves
[12:21:41am -7] <drethelin1> dire wolves are in it
[12:24:42am -7] <LaserBeing> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dire_wolf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dire_wolf)
[12:25:07am -7] <+Haruhi> https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Bloop (https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Bloop) Romosome
[12:25:26am -7] <@Romosome> haha I was reading both of those
[12:25:30am -7] <@Romosome> I love the fact that
[12:25:32am -7] <@Romosome> dire wolves were real
[12:25:42am -7] <@Romosome> and lived up until 10,000 years ago, scaring the shit out of our ancestors
[12:26:08am -7] * SoftMeatcurtains is now known as Guild
[12:26:16am -7] <FuckGuardian> Apparently so are wargs.
[12:26:33am -7] <@Romosome> what's the different between a warg and a dire wolf
[12:26:39am -7] <@Romosome> "American Alsatian A new breed of dog bred to resemble the Dire Wolf's size and bone structure."
[12:26:50am -7] <@Romosome> oh wait there's a link right there
[12:26:57am -7] <FuckGuardian> Wargs are just an old word for wolf.
[12:27:05am -7] <FuckGuardian> Dire wolves are dire.
[12:27:06am -7] <@Romosome> oh huh.
[12:27:28am -7] <FuckGuardian> So a dire wolf my also be considered a dire warg.
[12:27:40am -7] <LaserBeing> the difference between a dire wolf and a warg is the same as the difference between a hobbit and a halfling
[12:28:03am -7] <drethelin1> dire halfling
[12:28:10am -7] <FuckGuardian> In other words, there once existed such a thing as Dire Wargs.
[12:28:26am -7] <FuckGuardian> That is a thing that happened.
[12:28:51am -7] <@Romosome> yep
[12:29:53am -7] <FuckGuardian> The American Alsatian (English pronunciation: /æl?se???n/), formerly known as the Alsatian Shepalute,[2][3] is a large breed of domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) originating in the United States of America, bred back to resemble the Dire Wolf's bone and body structure.
[12:30:25am -7] <FuckGuardian> I knew they were wolflike but did not know they were specifically meant to be DIRE WARGS.
[12:30:52am -7] <FuckGuardian> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ASfriendly.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ASfriendly.jpg) Pictured: A fat kid about to be devoured by a Dire Warg.
[12:31:00am -7] <@Romosome> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ASfirstpups.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ASfirstpups.jpg)
[12:31:20am -7] <@Romosome> I want a Mini Dire Wolf.
[12:31:24am -7] <FuckGuardian> Pictured: A cage holding the hungriest hellspawn.
[12:32:09am -7] <drethelin1> http://www.datamancer.net/laptop-preorders.htm (http://www.datamancer.net/laptop-preorders.htm)
[12:32:15am -7] <FuckGuardian> Although the American Alsatian can be trained to work and some have been successful as wilderness search and rescue dogs, this breed does not possess a strong desire for the physical demands of most working dog endeavors.[5] The American Alsatian is most suited for the gentle work of therapy dogs or Reading Assistance Education Dogs (READ).
[12:32:17am -7] <drethelin1> pretty fucking expensive laptops
[12:32:27am -7] <FuckGuardian> DIRE WARGS ARE POWERFUL BUT TOO LAZY TO DO SHIT
[12:32:36am -7] <myew> What is a powerful piece of shit to be dire wargs.
[12:32:42am -7] <FuckGuardian> EXACTLY
[12:32:50am -7] <myew> What exactly is the part where he kills you.
[12:33:43am -7] <FuckGuardian> It's the part with all the mashy spike plates.
[12:34:03am -7] <FuckGuardian> So do the clockwork components actually do anything?
[12:34:07am -7] <@Romosome> I like the idea of using a dire warg as a therapy pet
[12:34:14am -7] <myew> Like with a kind of therapy.
[12:34:15am -7] <@Romosome> or a reading companion for children
[12:34:22am -7] <drethelin1> how would they
[12:34:26am -7] <drethelin1> I'm sure they're just decorative
[12:34:32am -7] <FuckGuardian> Lame.
[12:34:45am -7] <@Romosome> in fact at this point the entire breed sounds like an Aperture Science project
[12:35:10am -7] <drethelin1> I am loving the keyboards on this site
[12:35:52am -7] <@Romosome> We rebred dire wolves as pets for kids! Why? Because I pay the bills around here, that's why. You can put your stuff in a box, you're out. Yes, you. Cave Johnson, we're done here.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 14, 2011, 11:55:11 PM
TruckGuardian   myew, haiku
myew   TruckGuardian: Haiku novicework: getting my bone on / graviton bream emitter / oh my, he's on fire.
TruckGuardian   myew officially better at haiku than haiku
myew   TruckGuardian: Haiku novicework: stop writing haiku!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 15, 2011, 02:50:58 PM
Reading Assistance Education Dogs (READ).

That is the worst acronym I have ever seen.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on June 15, 2011, 06:19:53 PM
Reading Assistance Education Dogs (READ).

That is the worst acronym I have ever seen.

HE DOESN'T LIKE THE ACRONYM

RELEASE THE DIRE WARGS
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 15, 2011, 07:06:09 PM
Deadly Intelligent Rocket Expendable Weaponized Attack Ready Giant Snakes
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 15, 2011, 10:14:17 PM
Reading Assistance Education Dogs (READ).

That is the worst acronym I have ever seen.

HE DOESN'T LIKE THE ACRONYM

RELEASE THE DIRE WARGS

Most likely because they're using "READ" for
Reading
Assistance
Education
Dogs

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on June 24, 2011, 06:55:01 AM
 <myew> Http://www.pvponline.com/2011/06/dragons_crown_fighter_01.jpg (http://Http://www.pvponline.com/2011/06/dragons_crown_fighter_01.jpg) i like to sing an animaniacs song she'd have to put it on the 2 pages a month ago, my phone couldn't do 5 placement matches and place on the net.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on June 25, 2011, 07:57:42 PM
23:45:33 < myew> œ¿»|½ »±²­!!! Tonight we yiff in it :p.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 27, 2011, 06:30:10 PM
<Aoko> One time, my security question was a youtube link
<Aoko> So I thought I had hidden a passcode there or something
<Aoko> I rickrolled myself
<Aoko> :/
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on June 28, 2011, 11:35:42 AM
<myew> maou: Gay sex novicework.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on June 28, 2011, 01:37:09 PM
She also does puns.

<myew> Yeah i know what tf you are in 2.


Hnnnnnnnnng.

16:48:06 <drethelin1> I don't really care enough to bother though
16:48:14 <drethelin1> maybe when they come out with diablo 2 for iphone
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on July 01, 2011, 11:16:20 AM
[14:12] <Lottel> My neighbor is... topless bathing.
[14:12] <Lottel> sunbathing
[14:13] <Lottel> tanning? What do people call it?
[14:13] <Lottel> she's laying in the sun topless
[14:13] <Stush> Of course it happens to lottel
[14:14] <Lottel> You can have her stush!
[14:14] <+Smiler> Lottel pics
[14:14] <Lottel> Ok
[14:14] <Lottel> THAT'S illegal
[14:14] <+Smiler> :3c
[14:14] <myew> Ok, i'm getting dressed. To your left, past the kitchen, is a bar.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on July 02, 2011, 07:31:33 PM
<Shoger> http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=11433485&camp=MISC:Vanity:PressRelease:TRU:comiccom2011:70111 (http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=11433485&camp=MISC:Vanity:PressRelease:TRU:comiccom2011:70111)
<@Squizzle> 'This limited-edition version of Raiden also glows in the dark, demonstrating his mastery of electricity!'
<@Squizzle> Wh-wh-whaaaat?
<@Squizzle> I'm so electric, I [phosphorous].
<TedBelmont> Well, electricity DOES make things grow in the dark
<Shoger> ...
* Shoger scoots away from TedBelmont in awkward silence
<TedBelmont> Err
<TedBelmont> Glow.
<TedBelmont> GLOW
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on July 04, 2011, 07:06:52 AM
<adrenaline> sex is when you put your balls in a girl's butt
<Smiler> I thought that was 5th base
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on July 08, 2011, 10:51:05 PM
<Stush> Hiyooo guys
<JDigital> hiyo stush
<myew> Stush left because of some celebrity breaking up on your phone?
<Vance> Awww, Stush, did Megan Fox break up with you?
<Stush> I wish
<Stush> She keeps hanging around my windows and making owl noises
<Stush> It's highly erotic but i'm still not changing my mind

<Vance> What's she wearing?
<Stush> An owl suit, obviously, vance
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on July 09, 2011, 06:39:06 PM
[22:35]   Esperath   !haiku Squizzle
[22:35]   Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: hungry vaginas / give back Forest Spirit's head / again. That's too much
[22:35]   Esperath   ...
[22:35]   Esperath   hahaha
[22:35]   Squizzle   :D
[22:36]   Esperath   !addbest hungry vaginas / give back Forest Spirit's head / again. That's too much
[22:36]   Vance   Oh yeah, that's going in the bank
[22:36]   Upthorn   This haiku will be sung throughout the ages
[22:36]   Esperath   myew vaginas nom nom nom
[22:36]   myew   Esperath: !Addbest hungry vaginas / give back forest spirit's head / again. That's too much.
[22:36]   Esperath   :3
[22:37]   Vance   Hmmm. Did it not add that?
[22:37]   myew   !Add7 do you need a tenth game to add the other day and ended up that frost giant?
[22:37]   Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: forgot about Dre / do you need a tenth game to add the other day and ended up that frost giant? / I'm a bad parent.
[22:37]   Vance   Man
[22:37]   Esperath   ...myew
[22:38]   Vance   myew went on to vandalize Wikipedia
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 10, 2011, 05:27:43 PM
Quote
I was playing Harrah’s Club in Lake Tahoe, probably the most uptown venue a country star could play in the 1970s, with the exception of Carnegie Hall. I had played Carnegie Hall, also, when I was back east.
I was introduced, walked onstage and the audience applauded as if it were asleep. I was doing an unusual show for a group of promoters, executives and high rollers. And people like Glen Campbell, Carroll O’Connor, and Bill Cosby were in the audience, seated with these big shots that Harrah’s was trying to impress. There were many other entertainers as well. I was doing my first song when someone in the crowd stopped the show.
“Hey, what is wrong with you people?” a voice yelled. I put my hand above my eyes to shield them from the spotlight. The faceless voice continued to rant.
“This is the greatest country singer since Hank Williams. You act like he’s a goddamned local act. You need to be bawled out, and I’m a little short nigger son of a bitch willing to do it. Now try again, Haggard. Walk offstage, and come back and see if they can show a little respect.”
I did, and the place went apeshit. They had taken orders from Sammy Davis Jr., who was standing atop a round cocktail table.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 10, 2011, 05:38:07 PM
I just realized I don't have any of his music and that is a goddamn crime.

*goes to rectify this situation*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 10, 2011, 05:58:50 PM
If you're the purchasing-inclined type, there's a four cd compilation set that perfectly exemplifies the four major themes of country music: Cheatin', (http://www.amazon.com/Cheatin/dp/B000TETE3Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1310349182&sr=8-2) Hurtin', (http://www.amazon.com/Hurtin/dp/B000TEPDW2/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1310349200&sr=8-4) Drinkin', (http://www.amazon.com/Drinkin/dp/B000TERDI4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1310349246&sr=8-3) and Prison. (http://www.amazon.com/Prison/dp/B000TEMR2Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1310349255&sr=8-2)

Or you could just, y'know, YARRR. Either way, I'm sure Merle won't mind.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 10, 2011, 06:08:11 PM
Well, I'm probably going to just get a couple of songs, like Mama Tried, etc.

Most of his HIPPIES ARE SCUM, HEY WE STILL FLY OLD GLORY HERE songs are musically impeccable but still kind of grating to listen to.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on July 10, 2011, 07:35:41 PM
...you know Okie is satire, right?

I got to see him live once; he was opening for Bob Dylan.  It was actually pretty unfortunate; we were near the exit and the ushers were inexplicably holding the doors open and talking loudly through his entire act.  And it's not like they were twentysomethings who didn't know who Merle Haggard was; this was in Sun City, a retirement community.

They at least shut the hell up and closed the doors when Dylan came out, though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 10, 2011, 08:38:40 PM
It's always sounded to me like Okie was played completely straight.

I don't know, his statements on it seem to be almost deliberately ambiguous, and there are other Haggard songs (Fightin' side o' me, etc.) that seem to also have the same theme and also seem to play it straight.

Maybe it was parody and maybe it was a case of "Uh, yeah... yeah it's a parody. Yep." 

Regardless, he's got plenty of other good songs.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on July 12, 2011, 03:55:48 PM
<yeoz> TheNew Shorter Oxford English Dictionary7 8    C7 4J[spoiler]7D[/spoiler] C[spoiler]    6 76       D& [/spoiler]=   7   █
<yeoz> $   #98    <
<yeoz> er
<yeoz> that did not paste as well as I hoped it would.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 13, 2011, 10:09:02 PM
* @Friday is forced by their mother to take Brentai along
<@Friday> but mooooooooooom
<@Friday> he's touching my butt
<Brentai> I am your butt.
<@Friday> Brentai would definitely be the guy quoting Tactics while the rest of the party talks about Geopolitics and plot.
* Brentai touches Friday's butt.
<Brentai> I had a good feeling!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 16, 2011, 08:51:34 PM
<@Romosome> In Isle of View, it is revealed that summoning the stork will release an "ellipsis" (...) into the air to fly off to the stork. This is a play on the joke that all the "adult" things happen after a paragraph ends in an ellipsis. Most inductees actually discover the specifics of the act "by accident" after marriage, or under the influence of a love spring
<@Romosome> that's the thing
<@Romosome> there's this joke about fucking being represented in text as an elipsis
<Brentai> Okay, so the secret to becoming an adult is not having sex.
<zzar> the secret is to -have- sex
<zzar> once you have sex you're an adult
<Brentai> ...
<zzar> just like real life
<zzar> see you just summoned a stork there
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 17, 2011, 02:33:41 PM
* Silversong is now known as Silver-sewing
* Brentai punches the fabric together.
<Vance> This explains the assless chaps
<Vance> The chapless assless chaps
<R^2> Chapless ass?
<myew> The ass is gonna get something that doesn't drain hp, but converts the item to your ass.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 17, 2011, 05:12:30 PM
All chaps are assless by definition.

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-iPD2Ssu6Zk/TUi-8pDHKjI/AAAAAAAAAKY/NRpzAE0KNo4/s1600/doris-day-teacher%2527s-pet3.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on July 23, 2011, 03:29:45 PM
19:14   Guildenstern   i only get excited during the absence of sexually stimulating activities
19:15   Guildenstern   which is a terrifying catch 22
19:15   Guildenstern   one time i fucked a cop
19:15   Guildenstern   he was all ARRESTED
19:15   Dr_Nerd   the crime:  stealing
19:15   Dr_Nerd   his heart
19:15   Guildenstern   and i was all HUMP
19:15   Guildenstern   and he was like yeah ok i'm into this
19:15   Guildenstern   and then i lost interest
19:16   Guildenstern   funerals are always a disaster
19:17   Guildenstern   stop fucking the corpse!]
19:17   Guildenstern   but it's just lying there not giving me attention!
19:17   Guildenstern   how sexy is that"!?
19:17   Guildenstern   then that cop shows up again
19:17   Guildenstern   hopeful
19:17   Guildenstern   his restraints twirling on a finger
19:17   Guildenstern   his eyebrow cocked
19:17   Guildenstern   and i just go meh
19:18   Guildenstern   it's no fun if you WANT it, officer higgins
19:19   Guildenstern   i'm complicated
19:20   MarsDragon   Guild, I think I have a solution
19:20   MarsDragon   Go hang out with Brentai
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 24, 2011, 08:07:33 AM
<Zaratustra> "He wanted a change in society and, from his perspective, he needed to force through a revolution," Lippestad, the lawyer, told public broadcaster NRK. "He wished to attack society and the structure of society."
<Zaratustra> the problem with attacking society is that society will attack you back.
<TedBelmont> Society will shunt you back
<maou> society will fuck your dog if given a chance.
<SimonTheDigger> Society will fuck your dog and then convince your dog afterwards that it was consensual and that your dog enjoyed it
<yeoz> the dog did enjoy it!
<yeoz> wait a second
<@Friday> Society will fuck your dog, your cat, your mom, your friends, your entire extended family, your couch, your other cat, your other other cat, your girlfriend
<@Friday> Society: fucking everything it can, whenever it can, however it can
<+BongoBill> Have society and Brentai ever been photographed together?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on July 26, 2011, 02:39:58 PM
[17:28] <JDiggital> Kaede's Madness (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsmbbHMswE#)
[17:35] <@Romosome> man
[17:35] <@Romosome> can you imagine the kind of person who would react to a breakup by running off to make an AMV for youtube
[17:35] <@Romosome> were they like crying while sitting there on sony vegas
[17:37] <Roger> "He-he-he's a horrible JERK okay dissolve wipe here"
[17:38] <maou> -roger after discovering that megatron won't go to the prom with him
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 27, 2011, 05:59:04 PM
MOM I AM MAKING AN AMV AND LISTENING TO EVANESCENCE LEAVE ME ALONE WE ARENT FAMILY NEMORE *SLAM*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on July 30, 2011, 06:43:02 PM
During Outer Heaven, showing Tiny Toons:

<beatbandito> Oh man, the search for big butt sounds like my love life.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 31, 2011, 08:18:40 PM
Quote from: Squiggle
I don't know about you guys, but I voted for bread and circuses
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 01, 2011, 04:58:12 PM
The community summarized by statistics!
http://myew.sidemoon.net/ (http://myew.sidemoon.net/)

Quote
Silversong brings happiness to the world. 3.6% lines contained smiling faces. :)
yeoz isn't a sad person either, smiling 3.2% of the time.

R^2 seems to be sad at the moment: 5.1% lines contained sad faces. :(
Dirtystern is also a sad person, crying 4.5% of the time.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 05, 2011, 07:27:10 AM
<beatbandito> myew, what is love?
<myew> beatbandito: So in case you have to get a little fun with him. I can't beat you. I love you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 05, 2011, 01:41:49 PM
[14:40]   Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: John Romero is / about to make you his bitch / Your mom is in here
[14:40]   myew   Your mom is a little bitch.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on August 07, 2011, 12:40:18 PM
[13:37] <BrentsPhone> myew, supple.
[13:37] <myew> BrentsPhone: Oh brentai, please molest my supple buttocks.
[13:38] <maou> well
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Metal Slime on August 09, 2011, 10:09:58 PM
[02:08] <Brentai> "Patented 3" extra large centrifugal feed chute provides maximum juice extraction, and the two speed electronic control juices soft and hard fruits in just five seconds."
[02:09] <Brentai> I'm kind of getting turned on by this.
[02:09] <Brentai> Yes, extract the juice from my hard fruits.
[02:09] <Brentai> Grind my berries and separate the froth.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 11, 2011, 03:30:33 PM
<Lee-Ham> when (my little sister) was little she got scared by the ending of Diablo, so whenever she was annoying me I would pretend to shove a rock into my forehead and she would scream and run away
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Guild on August 12, 2011, 08:50:34 PM
<BongoBill> Man, who cares if gays can have kids. They're not going to do it even if allowed. People don't have kids any more. We're careening towards the cliff of demographic collapse.
<patito> I like demopgraphic collapse
<guild> patito: http://www.vhemt.org/ (http://www.vhemt.org/)
<patito> guild, I'm part of the involunatry human extinction movement
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 12, 2011, 08:57:34 PM
I love this line from the website: "Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense."

:whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 14, 2011, 04:26:49 PM
<+Ridley> Hahaa mom's doing a crossword
<+Ridley> "What's a star trek villain starting with K"
<+Ridley> and dad and I both go KHAN!
<+Ridley> "No it's seven letters"
<+Ridley> "K H A A A A N"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on August 14, 2011, 09:41:09 PM
Aug 10 19:48:19 <Joxam>   http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/2834278.html (http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/2834278.html) speaking of stupid people who shouldn't be allowed to post stuff on the internet, how bout this brendan oneill article.
Aug 10 19:48:21 <Joxam>   HOW BOUT IT
Aug 10 19:49:24 <Nodal>   This is the worst sentence
Aug 10 19:49:24 <Nodal>   And secondly middle-class radicals, trustafarians who live off daddy's cash, who get a rush of political adrenalin whenever they see blacks burning stuff because it shows that "the oppressed are fighting back!"
Aug 10 19:50:27 <Tefari>   People who suppose that they (the speaker) is a fucking perfect angel who never EVER cracks under pressure.
Aug 10 19:51:32 <Tefari>   Like 'oh ho ho, those silly negros simply need to buck up and take it on the chin'.
Aug 10 19:52:27 <Joxam>   That guy is a fucking asshole.
Aug 10 19:52:39 <Joxam>   I want to punch him in the dick
Aug 10 19:52:50 <Joxam>   but he'd probably just blame it on me being a minority and having a single mother.

Talking time is a good place to rip on stupid people!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 15, 2011, 03:07:19 AM
<Esperath> the new 1v1 ladder maps feel so samey to me
<Friday> heh
<Esperath> they are all about the same size, all 2-base maps
<Esperath> all with destructible rocks everywhere
<Esperath> http://www.reddit.com/r/starcraft/comments/j2j8s/if_dustin_browder_designed_bras/ (http://www.reddit.com/r/starcraft/comments/j2j8s/if_dustin_browder_designed_bras/)
<Friday> now i want a bra with destructable rocks
<Esperath> if your boyfriend is a zergling
<Esperath> it'll only take him 1000 hits to open it
<Esperath> CONSIDER THIS FOREPLAY
<Esperath> plink plink plink
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 17, 2011, 07:26:25 AM
From a minatures site:

Quote
I was going to try [making] the lesser known Comedy Shoggoth which has those wibbly eyes you find on kids toys. Don't know what effect that will have on the viewer though
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 17, 2011, 09:53:20 AM
<Stush> Guys, I have a question.
<Stush> Say two giant alien monster dudes are fighting.
<Stush> Like talking huuuge, like the earth is tiny to them.
<Stush> One of them grabs the earth and throws it at the groin of the other monster.
<Stush> You're on the point that's gonna impact the monster's groin first.
<Stush> Do you try kick him in the nuts?
<Ted> Yes.
<Stush> I'm testing questions I'm gonna ask next time I go for a job interview and they ask "Do you have any questions?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 19, 2011, 05:54:50 AM
Stush> Ahahaha, oh god.
<Stush> Screenshots of the next silent hill game.
<Stush> Not downpour, the one after that.
<Stush> http://d22dmam3ig6p12.cloudfront.net/media/pics/art_19550_id_3.jpeg (http://d22dmam3ig6p12.cloudfront.net/media/pics/art_19550_id_3.jpeg)
<Ted> I don't get it
<Stush> You've played silent hill, right
<zaratustra> diablo hill
<Stush> It just seems weird taking an atmospheric horror game and making it into a multiplayer isometric diablo style game.
<Stush> If it didn't have the silent hill name on it i'd be a lot more interested in it, but i'm sorta sick of them turning silent hill into the simpsons. :(
<Ted> Haha what the
<Stush> They're tearing me apart, lisa.
<Ted> Silent Hill: Bart's Nightmare
<nyan> Don't ever let them do that.
<Ted> Hahaha
<Stush> Hahaha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on August 21, 2011, 04:42:21 PM
[19:40] <+Ridley> I was on the phone the other day with someone from Tennessee
[19:40] <+Ridley> and I heard some kids in the background
[19:41] <+Ridley> and I found myself thinking, oh those poor kids, they're going to grow up and be from Tennessee.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 21, 2011, 05:56:47 PM
( ._.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on August 21, 2011, 09:58:51 PM
i wouldn't wish that on anyone

not even people from tennessee
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 24, 2011, 03:50:32 PM
Quote
Today at the wine tasting you’re going to finally let Heather know that you’re not her husband.

“I had surgery to look like John,” tell her. “It’s important that certain governments think he’s still alive.”

Heather will run from the wine tasting into the fields surrounding the winery. Chase after her and tell her that you only revealed the truth because you fell in love, and that these years pretending to be her husband have been the happiest of your life. Ask her if she could possibly feel the same?

“I don’t like to admit it,” she’ll say. “But I’ve loved you more since you replaced him. I love you more than I ever loved him. I didn’t understand how my feelings could change, since I thought you were the same person the whole time, but now I do.”

Go home and make love. When you fall asleep, she’ll sneak off to the bathroom to contact her agency and let them know that the reconstructive surgery worked because you clearly don’t suspect a thing.

“Not only does he not know that I’m a spy pretending to be Heather so that I could monitor the movements of the spy pretending to be John,” she’ll whisper. “But he thinks he’s fallen in love with me.”

Her agency will say that it’s time for her to activate plan R.

Before she comes back to bed, contact your agency and let them know that the spy pretending to be Heather bought your “I love you” act and she doesn’t suspect in the slightest that you know she’s not Heather. Your agency will tell you to activate plan S.

Your agencies will then contact each other to laugh at how you two don’t have the slightest clue that they’re only using you to play a live-action Sims game.

I have no idea what this is from.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 26, 2011, 03:41:49 PM
<Mr_Saturn> isn't there a fanpatch that fixes the HURR ANOTHER FUCKING KNIFE issue
<@Friday> HURRR KNIVES
<@Friday> i love hurr knives
<@Friday> LOOT KNIVES, MOTHERFUCKER
<@Romosome> what is hurr knives
<@Friday> every enemy in the game, when looted, gives up a knife.
<@Friday> knives suck
<@Friday> so you dump them out of your inventory
<@Friday> only to get another
<@Friday> and another
<@Friday> and another
<@Friday> and another
<@Friday> etc
<myew> Which is better than cosmo.

proof cosmo is worse than annoying video game inventory mechanics
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on August 27, 2011, 01:47:47 PM
When I ran D&D I often had NPCs carry knives. They don't unbalance the treasure reward, and it adds some flavour to have characters carry items they don't use. They can be logically wielded by most humanoids and used as a throwing weapon in a pinch.

I bet it's really annoying to keep throwing those out in a video game, though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 27, 2011, 01:52:24 PM
See, the issue in Deus Ex was in order to loot ammo, guns, etc off of dead or knocked out enemies, you'd right click and it would just dump their entire inventory into yours, except for things you were already carrying. Since inventory space was pretty limited, this ended up effectively giving you the choice of carrying a useless knife around instead of something useful, or constantly pausing after nearly every kill to dump yet another knife onto the ground.

The other option, of course, is actually using the knife, but pretty much every other melee weapon was better.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on August 27, 2011, 03:28:27 PM
[18:16] <@Fridaway> <@Romosome> I went to carl's jr and tried to get a salad
[18:16] <@Fridaway> what is wrong with you
[18:16] <@Fridaway> no
[18:16] <@Fridaway> go buy a salad at like a deli or something
[18:16] <@Romosome> no I was in a hurry
[18:16] <@Romosome> don't judge me
[18:17] <@patito> did you get a drive thru salad
[18:17] <@Romosome> yes I got a drive through sala
[18:17] <@Romosome> d
[18:17] <@patito> eat it while on the road
[18:17] <@Romosome> no what
[18:17] <@Romosome> one that is insane
[18:17] <@Romosome> two I drive stick
[18:18] <@Fridaway> three you're a dog
[18:18] <@Romosome> yes I have to stick my head out the window
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 28, 2011, 06:44:21 AM
When I ran D&D I often had NPCs carry knives. They don't unbalance the treasure reward, and it adds some flavour to have characters carry items they don't use. They can be logically wielded by most humanoids and used as a throwing weapon in a pinch.

Yeah, but everyone in D&D needs a light slashing weapon, in case they get grappled or swallowed by a purple worm.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on August 28, 2011, 08:44:49 AM
See, R^2 gets it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 28, 2011, 10:18:24 AM
There are a few basic equipment guidelines for my characters I tend to follow. "Always have a light/slashing weapon" is pretty much rule #1, followed by "You can never have too much rope" and "Have a light source that lasts longer than sunrods" and so on.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on August 28, 2011, 10:19:41 AM
No ten-foot pole? No chalk? No soap?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 28, 2011, 10:22:44 AM
It's a pretty long list, but yes, "Don't underestimate the utility of tin whistles, chalk, and soap" is on there. Ten-foot poles are overrated.

But another of them is "It's only a 50gp investment in 'Masterwork Tool' that gives +2 to skill checks you use often", so a lot of characters end up with listening cones and balance poles and climbing gloves and so on.

Why yes I do like playing Rogues why do you ask?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on August 28, 2011, 10:37:25 AM
Man, I loved playing a prepared rogue that has a commonly used tool and a clever use to save the day. Unfortunately, all the games I've played in had no place for such a guy. The door magically opens when enemies are killed. The gaps in the floors are jumpable, you can cut something just by saying you want to cut it...


We need Bronto DnD to kick back up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on August 28, 2011, 11:00:35 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/JMsyB.png)

ENTIRE TEAM IS ROGUES
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on August 28, 2011, 11:16:42 AM
When this happens, I'm in.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on August 28, 2011, 11:17:19 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/JMsyB.png)

... I wonder which one is a girl?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 28, 2011, 09:31:43 PM
<Vance> myew, If the average sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it, then a three-second ejaculation equals a data transfer of 1,403 terabytes
<myew> Vance: Can you transfer to my webspace and have a second?
<Romosome> did the bot just hit on Vance
* Vance transfers to myew's webspace and has a second
<Vance> myew, mmmkay now what?
<myew> Vance: Wait, knitting, sewing, what else?
<Brentai> She's already making the damn boots.
<Vance> Oh christ, I think myew wants to get married.
<myew> Christ, i just got married.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 31, 2011, 10:48:25 AM
<+Smiler> Okay, in Yakuza 4 I had a task to stop someone from jumping off the roof of a building. You do this by fighting.
<+Smiler> I just used a special finisher that involved throwing the guy off the roof
<+Smiler> MISSION COMPLETE
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on August 31, 2011, 11:05:46 AM
No ten-foot pole?

: (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=6006.msg201494#msg201494)D
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on August 31, 2011, 08:29:09 PM
Eleven foot pole, damn it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on September 01, 2011, 12:31:05 AM
(http://anotherdimension.pyoko.org/thisonegoesto11.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 03, 2011, 06:37:33 PM
<Tewi> I searched google for APO Mailbox
<Tewi> It suggested "i wish i had a real metapod so he could wear a sombrero and i could scare my dad by putting him in the cupboard"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on September 06, 2011, 09:46:58 AM
Quote from: http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2011_09_04.html#021218
Just after Christmas, Warner Home Video will be releasing a DVD full of Pepe Le Pew cartoons. Great! I hope they don't forget to include the one where a female cat gets a white stripe down her back, then Pepe chases her around thinking she's a lady skunk.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on September 06, 2011, 10:02:27 AM
Ahhhh, good old-fashioned sexual harassment.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on September 06, 2011, 10:03:15 AM
To be fair, that was my favourite episode of PePe le Pew.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 06, 2011, 10:55:22 AM
He was such a role model.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on September 06, 2011, 11:25:53 AM
Sometimes you gotta take the pussy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 08, 2011, 09:30:28 AM
<CockDemon> FIND. MY. KEYS. MORTAL.
<Moebius> THEY'RE
<Moebius> THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING DRAWER WHERE YOU PUT THEM
<Moebius> MY MASTER
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 08, 2011, 01:44:44 PM
<+Esperath> http://i.imgur.com/y2np3.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/y2np3.jpg)
<@Friday> oh god what is that cat doing
<@Friday> get out of there cat
<@Friday> cats and bubble baths do not mix
<@Friday> I know this
<LaserBeing> he's trying to noclip
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 08, 2011, 06:39:03 PM
<+Aoko> There's this pen & paper RPG that has a faction
<+Aoko> Who have accepted that there will be no privacy and information will be out there for everyone
<+Aoko> So they've done the next best thing: Make that info as unreliable as possible
<myew> No i want all information on the privacy of others.
<+Aoko> Oh lord myew's begun her transformation
<myew> Oh lord, i have to murder her.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on September 09, 2011, 12:57:53 PM
Tangentially: forget RPG's; that shit's really happening.  Governments and corporations are handling espionage with deliberate disinformation campaigns (nothing new, but of course a broader scale given Internet leaks and such).  I expect Anonymous and the like do much the same thing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on September 10, 2011, 03:08:00 PM
<teg> It's either due to advertising or cyanide content.
<teg> I forget.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on September 12, 2011, 12:37:35 PM
<myew> Roger you are fucking awful.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 13, 2011, 12:27:53 AM
<Friday> i have aisen bra
<Friday> that
<Romosome> you have what.
<Friday> did not come out right.
<Romosome> what is aisen bra.
<Friday> I have raisen bran.
<Friday> AIZEN BRA
<Romosome> no you have aizen bra
<Romosome> Friday
<Romosome> when did you start thinking you were wearing a bra
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 14, 2011, 07:22:29 PM
Dr_Nerd> where's stush
<myew> <Stush> i like being dead.
<Ted> Noooooo
<Dr_Nerd> D:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on September 15, 2011, 03:46:18 PM
From the break room on my first day of work. It's been rattling around in my head ever since and had to get out. Accurate for sure because there is no possible way I could have made it better in my head.

"Yo, so I was at the doctor and he told me I'm three months pregnant. I was like 'what? I can't be havin another abortion, that shit's expensive!'"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on September 19, 2011, 10:06:11 AM
Quote from: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1962067
I refuse to believe that corporations are people until Texas executes one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 21, 2011, 10:00:12 AM
<zaratustra> I have a lego insect-thing that I build on whenever my computer crashes.
<zaratustra> it's nearly the size of my head now
<zaratustra> it has begun to direct its own construction.
<zaratustra> this may be my final entry

Quote
"Yo, so I was at the doctor and he told me I'm three months pregnant. I was like 'what? I can't be havin another abortion, that shit's expensive!'"

i believe i know someone who can help with this problem
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 23, 2011, 02:57:08 AM
<zaratustra> my understanding of ff7's plot is train, aeris dies, cloud is a retard for more time than any human being can stand, ira vehementi sephiroth the end
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 23, 2011, 10:57:26 AM
Only instead of "The End" it's "a bunch of insufferable expanded-universe spinoffs".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 23, 2011, 11:28:27 AM
If you consider FF7 to be a low bar to begin with then most of the EU is honestly better.  It basically gave us Tifa's AC model, a scene where everybody chucks Cloud straight into a Giga Flare, a few good soundtracks, a video game where you get to punch Gackt in the face, and a look at how *ludicrously* overpowered Zack is.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 26, 2011, 10:07:10 AM
[13:01] <Stush> Man, reading that article about the dude who got shot by a cop when they raided his house because he gambled was pretty depressing.
[13:03] <+drethelin> stush that happens all the time when cops raid houses
[13:03] <Stush> It doesn't happen here, though, because our cops don't run around with their guns drawn.
[13:05] <Stush> And why the hell do you send a SWAT team after a gambler?
[13:05] <Stush> What the hell, america.
[13:05] <Vance> Of course, the gambler's family won two million, which means all sorts of ironic bullshit
[13:05] <Stush> America needs to pick up its game
[13:06] <+drethelin> stush when all you have is swat teams everything looks like a nail
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 26, 2011, 03:26:02 PM
[18:21] <+BongoBill> #FINALFIGHT
[18:21] <+BongoBill> CLOSE EYES
[18:21] <+BongoBill> DRAW BATMAN
[18:21] <+Ridley> BONGORBILL.
[18:21] <+Smiler> NO
[18:21] <+Ridley> GETTING PAPER
[18:21] <+Smiler> batman is a master of stealth no one knows what he looks like
[18:22] <+Ridley> this is an awesome bat-drawing.
[18:22] <+BongoBill> SHARE WITH THE CLASS
[18:22] <+Ridley> 1sec.
[18:22] <+BongoBill> http://img.badposts.org/images/batmanblin.png (http://img.badposts.org/images/batmanblin.png) I did mine in Paint and it is small and shitty.
[18:24] <+Ridley> http://kayumi.pyoko.org/closeeyesdrawbatman.jpg (http://kayumi.pyoko.org/closeeyesdrawbatman.jpg)
[18:24] <myew> Kayumi is full of shit.
[18:24] <+Ridley> FUCK YOU MYEW
[18:24] <+Smiler> ahahahahahah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on September 26, 2011, 08:56:29 PM
Quote
In other countries, reactions were similar. In 1949, part of the script for the War of the Worlds was read out over the radio in Quito, Ecuador without announcement, as if it were a major piece of breaking news. Huge crowds of people emerged onto the streets and sought refuge inside of churches with their families. When the radio station was informed, they broadcasted the fact that there was no invasion. An angry mob formed and burned the station to the ground, resulting in somewhere between six and twenty deaths. There were many other countries that experienced problems when broadcasting The War of the Worlds.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on September 27, 2011, 05:43:27 PM
If you consider FF7 to be a low bar to begin with then most of the EU is honestly better.  It basically gave us Tifa's AC model, a scene where everybody chucks Cloud straight into a Giga Flare, a few good soundtracks, a video game where you get to punch Gackt in the face, and a look at how *ludicrously* overpowered Zack is.

I would tag spoilers for Crisis Core, but everyone who's played FF7 knows how it ends:

ZACK DIES.

However, he dies in the most manly way possible: [spoiler]beating the shit out of hundreds of Shinra troopers.  His death scene in FF7 was nowhere near his death in Crisis Core.  I especially love how he got sorta brain damaged or something, and that's what fucks up the main combat mechanic, the roulette wheel, which I guess are his memories leaking out of his head or somehting.[/spoiler]  It's all kinda metaphysical, and all that weird jazz, but I like how that final scene takes something as ubiquitous as the main gameplay mechanic and using it as a storytelling device...  Sort of like...

Metal Gear Solid 2 Part 41 Naked Raiden (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4UVCqm60-o#)

...wait...no...that's not right.

Mod Edit: Yeah, but you just spoiled how it happens in Crisis Core's ending, which isn't in FF7. BRAVO!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 27, 2011, 06:17:57 PM
Nobody asked but I'm going to clarify anyway:

[spoiler]So imagine beating the original Sephiroth with only Cloud wielding his starting weapon and no real armor.  Got that?  That's what Zack does at the end of chapter 7 in Crisis Core.

There are 10 chapters in Crisis Core.  The plot isn't even building to a climax yet, and as Zack you pretty much just casually pull off what most FF7 players would consider "a challenge".  So there's that.

Second case in point: Do you see any Shinra soldiers around during the ending?  Sure, they walk up while he's down and put about a million fucking bullets right into his head, but then they don't stick around, and Zack's still alive and kicking enough to at least give Cloud a bunch of terrible ideas (and an accidental blood transfusion, if you subscribe to my theories).

Are we expected to believe that Shinra sent an entire goddamed regiment to take out this stupidly overpowered rogue bastard, and after roughing him up a bit they just went "Well he's obviously not coming around" and just left him there?  No, of course not.  Zack killed them.  Zack flipped out and killed all of them, every one, while mortally wounded, in some sort of final glorious SOLDIER rage.  How many dudes are we talking about here?  Well, if you consider that "kill 1000 dudes" is a standard training mission for a SOLDIER of his level, they probably sent... quite a lot more than that.

Conclusion: Don't pursue Zack Bu.

Also possibly noncanon but the optional superboss fight is basically "find the center of the planet's consciousness, and punch it to death".  Literally punch it, because there comes a point when Zack's bare fists vastly outperform the shitty sword he insists on carrying.[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on September 27, 2011, 06:53:21 PM
This is the same guy who has a series of optional missions (and one story mission) where he runs around [spoiler]in swimming trunks and beats monsters up with a beach parasol.[/spoiler]

Zack is kind of the best character in FF7.  Not even Gackt's emo poetry reading can tarnish the awesome that is Zack.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on September 27, 2011, 08:29:13 PM
which gackt? FF7 has ten fucking gackts!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 27, 2011, 08:46:15 PM
Gackt. (http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Genesis_Rhapsodos)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 02, 2011, 02:03:41 PM
Tri-Edge   Friday
Tri-Edge   What's my party quirk
myew   22:00 <@Friday> romos a dumb.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 02, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
] <+Tri-Edge> When I was 12 I searched the internet for porn and came across a hentai dojin where a guy ripped the ey out of his maid and then skullfucked it while she remained indiffierent about it the whole time
[04:43:26pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> I was safe by the time I reached 19.
[04:43:36pm -7] <Lottel> "safe"
[04:43:42pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> ...relatively speaking
[04:47:07pm -7] <yeoz> Tri-Edge: link?
[04:47:50pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> yeoz: :|
[04:48:15pm -7] <@Romosome> Lyrai I don't think she was indifferent, I remember her crying a lot
[04:48:22pm -7] <zaratustr> Tri-Edge: Hey, I remember that eye thing
[04:48:28pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> See
[04:48:29pm -7] <@Romosome> and she wasn't a maid
[04:48:31pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> This is the kind of community this is
[04:48:35pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> "When I was twelve, EYEFUCKING"
[04:48:36pm -7] <+Ridley> hahaha yeoz you need to ask Romo and Zara for links
[04:48:38pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> "Oh man I remember that"
[04:48:45pm -7] <@Romosome> she was some kind of sex toy who came in a box that had a penis pacifier and everything
[04:48:46pm -7] <+Ridley> I fucking love you guys.
[04:48:47pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> That, right there
[04:48:50pm -7] <+Tri-Edge> Is pure bottled final fight
[04:49:09pm -7] <@Romosome> listen when we were 12 you could count the amount of crazy japan sex doujins online on one hand
[04:49:17pm -7] <@Romosome> we didn't have a million nips flodding shit onto danbooru daily
[04:49:35pm -7] <@Romosome> we had scans of Sex Tails and Secret Plot at 100x200 resolution

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on October 05, 2011, 09:59:00 PM
Quote
Dere dere looking for tsun tsun

See the title.
If you know what it means, you're probably the kind of person I'm looking for.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 09, 2011, 02:23:33 PM
-->|   Elfin (~damienbar@ppp118-209-15-123.lns20.mel4.internode.on.net) has joined #finalfight
<nyan> There's a Hurricane Ophelia in the foreseeable future.
|<--   Elfin has left irc.esper.net (Client Quit)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on October 09, 2011, 02:28:53 PM
[16:25:22] <Brentai> Clearly you've never spent a passionate night with Michaelangelo.
[16:25:39] <Lady> "sorry guys, I can't watch OH tonight, I'm having sex with this pizza..."
[16:25:41] <Lottel> Or slept with a pizza guy
[16:26:28] <Lady> eh
[16:26:36] <Lady> he'd expect me to tip him afterwards.  no thanks
[16:26:50] <quairel> that... isn't sufficient tip already?
[16:26:51] <Lottel> Actually, I'd say YOU'D get the tip
[16:26:59] <Brentai> Ugh.  Bye.
[16:27:00] Brentai [~chatzilla@ip68-4-207-217.oc.oc.cox.net] has quit IRC: Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 7.0.1/20110928134238]
[16:27:08] <Lottel> It wasn't THAT bad, Brentai
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 12, 2011, 10:52:53 PM
Code: [Select]
Roger http://boards.4chan.org/v/res/113330303#113332701 Megaman X gets WEIRD when you think Zero's a chick
Mr_Saturn|Laptop i thought he was a chick at first
Mr_Saturn|Laptop i mean that hair
Brentai And then you rebuild her, only to blow her up again for no reason.
Mr_Saturn|Laptop and being a kid
Mr_Saturn|Laptop i was young and dumb
Lottel Zero does have a chest thing that kinda looks like boobs
Mr_Saturn|Laptop (now im older and dumb)
patito there's also the fact that she has Roll's color scheme
patito so it's an easy mistake
Mr_Saturn|Laptop sweet typo patito
patito err, yeah
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on October 13, 2011, 03:02:16 PM
[15:58]   <SimonTheDigger>   You know what I really hope they'd do, but I know they won't?
[15:58]   <SimonTheDigger>   Make Galactus vulnerable to P. Wright's level 3 hyper
[15:58]   <Mr_Saturn|Laptop>   HA
[15:59]   <SimonTheDigger>   "THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL PLANET EARTH WAS YOU"
[15:59]   <SimonTheDigger>   <Galactus> D:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 14, 2011, 03:48:18 PM
<@DeusRomo> so uh.
<@DeusRomo> I managed to free Gunther
<@DeusRomo> I threw a LAM into the room
<@DeusRomo> one guard ran away from it entirely
<@DeusRomo> running through the laser tripwires
<@DeusRomo> without setting them off
<@DeusRomo> the door was blown open by the LAM
<@DeusRomo> Gunther and I killed like 5 guards in a massive shootout
<@DeusRomo> then Gunther just ran in circles with his knife in the lower level
<@DeusRomo> chasing guards
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> yeah thats gunther
<beatbandito> Oh man is this your first playthrough?
<@DeusRomo> and when there was no more guards
<@DeusRomo> he turned on me
<@DeusRomo> and stabbed me to death
<@DeusRomo> for no reason
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> HA
<@DeusRomo> I fucking hate this game
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 14, 2011, 06:07:59 PM
BREAKING NEWS

<@Fridaway> ok so
<@Fridaway> you guys aren't going to believe this probably
<@Fridaway> I have a hard believing it happened and it just happened to me
<@Fridaway> so I'm cleaning the garage gutter
<@Fridaway> up on the ladder
<Brentai> And then Brentai?
<@Fridaway> and I hear a yell
<Brentai> And then Brentai?
<@Fridaway> and then hear like, rapid footsteps/rustling
<@Fridaway> and I turn around on the ladder
<@Fridaway> to see a group of deer
<@Fridaway> rapidly running away
<@Fridaway> toward me
<@Fridaway> one of them, a buck
<@Fridaway> is coming DIRECTLY AT ME
<@Fridaway> and he's fucking
<@Fridaway> Fear-blind
<@Fridaway> I can see it in his eyes
<@Fridaway> so I have about, oh
<@Fridaway> 1 second
<@Fridaway> and I just jump off the ladder
<@Fridaway> and he slams into it
<@Fridaway> really hard
<Lee-Ham> holy shit
<@Fridaway> and then scrambles away
<@Fridaway> the ladder goes fucking flying
<Lee-Ham> are you ok?
<sei> BUSTER WOLF!
<@Fridaway> yeah
<@Fridaway> I landed and rolled
<@Fridaway> thanks, jujitsu
<Lee-Ham> that must have sucked for your arm though
<Brentai> And then, a mountain lion.
<@Fridaway> my legs kinda hurt
<@Fridaway> my arm is ok
<@Fridaway> That would be a good inscription I think for a Roguelike gravestone
<@patito> deer are fucking dumb
<@Fridaway> "Here lies Friday: Survived Mountain Lion in her Garage, Cancer, slain by Deer"
<Vance> Friday of the Jungle
<Lee-Ham> there was a guy up here who got killed by a deer just yesterday
<@Fridaway> My mom was surprisingly calm about the whole thing
<@Fridaway> "oh, good thing you jumped"
<@Fridaway> *goes back to facebook*
<Brentai> Stuff her in the gutters.
<Lee-Ham> http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20111013/new-brunswick-man-killed-by-domesticated-deer-111013/ (http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20111013/new-brunswick-man-killed-by-domesticated-deer-111013/)
<@Fridaway> Lee-Ham jesus
<Caithness> domesticated?
<Caithness> who domesticates deer?
<Lee-Ham> people in New Brunswick evidently
<@Fridaway> we have a semi-tame pack around here
<@Fridaway> I see them all the time
<@Fridaway> almost hit probably that same buck with my truck once
<@Fridaway> HE'S GETTING REVENGE
<Vance> Yeah, you can't just domesticate wild animals. It takes generations of selective breeding
<Lee-Ham> like the kwisatz haderach
<Brentai> It's gonna be like this for the rest of her life.
<Brentai> She'll be slowly sneaking up on a raptor
<Brentai> And then
<Brentai> THAT DEER
<Lee-Ham> that one buck is going to hunt her forever, like Jaws
<@Fridaway> THAT FUCKING DEER
<@Fridaway> standing at the altar
<@Fridaway> Groom unzips
<@Fridaway> THAT DEER
<Brentai> DUNnaaaaa!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on October 14, 2011, 06:15:47 PM
Penchinon In the Can (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTqGkUGCzE#)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on October 14, 2011, 06:33:49 PM
Have the deer executed. I do not tolerate failure in my minions.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 14, 2011, 08:05:37 PM
I can confirm that people from New Brunswick are all crazy and do not speak any real language known to man.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 14, 2011, 08:18:54 PM
What about teg?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 14, 2011, 09:09:22 PM
QED.

(teg, if you're still around, that's a joke)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on October 15, 2011, 03:03:40 AM
too busy posting on TT to see the joke, that confirms it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 15, 2011, 02:42:02 PM
<@Romosome> sometimes I worry about like
<@Romosome> having a sudden heart attack
<@Romosome> and dying with my porn tabs still open
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on October 15, 2011, 02:46:24 PM
He died as he lived.

Watching girls rimjob horses.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 15, 2011, 03:09:30 PM
Sometimes I look at my tabs and pick out which is most embarrassing.

It generally isn't a porn tab.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on October 16, 2011, 09:58:59 PM
[00:57] <@Romosome> If I ever get a million dollars
[00:57] <@Friday> You will fuck two bitches at once
[00:57] <@Romosome> I will pay for an elaborate cosplay sex scenario where two girls pantomime the Mana Sword spell gesture
[00:58] <@Romosome> at my erect penis
[00:58] <@Friday> ...
[00:58] <@Friday> So I was right
[00:58] <@Romosome> well duh
[00:58] <Guildenverse> dead on
[00:58] <Brentai> Romosome's penis became the Mana Sword!
[00:58] <Guildenverse> i'd invest it
[00:58] <@Friday> *thunder*
[00:58] <+Utsuho> ...
[00:58] <@Romosome> OH GOD TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF
[00:58] <+Utsuho> I heard Mana, but now I wish I didn't.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 17, 2011, 04:05:21 AM
"pant pant i came as fast as i could"
"so did i"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on October 24, 2011, 12:41:47 PM
[15:27] <+Esperath> this man is doing it right
[15:27] <+Esperath> http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnja6wVGwi1qj0qlso1_500.jpg (http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnja6wVGwi1qj0qlso1_500.jpg)
[15:28] <+Smiler> I AM DOING MY IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALLS
[15:28] <+Smiler> ON MY RONALD MCDONALD PHONE
[15:29] <Sede> how did anonymous find out the number to my hamburger phone??!
[15:30] <+Esperath> HOLD MY CALLS (IN A WARMING TRAY)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on October 25, 2011, 08:55:46 PM
<Brentai> http://fatpita.net/?i=6706 (http://fatpita.net/?i=6706) JUSTIIIIIIIICE
<Mr_Saturn> OK game industry metaphor
<Mr_Saturn> guy shoved is legit users
<Mr_Saturn> guy thrown off bridge is drm
<@Cait> Am I the boot stomping on your face forever for trying to make heavy-handed and dumb metaphors?
<Mr_Saturn> yes
* Mr_Saturn was kicked by Cait (Check.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 02, 2011, 04:34:25 PM
Quote from: King
Quote from: arty
i have to hold my computer above my head, run really fast down an alley and then get struck by lightning to boot windows
This is what's known as a "warm boot"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Aintaer on November 03, 2011, 01:20:28 PM
16:50 <+Ridley> see
16:50 <+Ridley> If the Japanese had named New York
16:50 <+Ridley> it would be cooler
16:50 <+Ridley> it would be Neo York.
16:50 < aintaer> Nyork?
16:50 <+Ridley> Or maybe even MegaYork
16:50 < aintaer> MetaYork
16:50 < aintaer> ParaYork
16:51 <+Ridley> HyperYork
16:51 < SimonTheDigger> Giga York.
16:51 < SlimeDroid> Omega York
16:51 <+Ridley> FusionYork
16:51 < aintaer> Omega York is a dick.
16:51 < maou> York^3
16:51 < SimonTheDigger> Francis York Morgan
16:51 < aintaer> What the hell fullscreen laser beam
16:51 <+Ridley> You're supposed to go into morphball
16:52 < aintaer> Wait that makes you invincible to the beam?
16:52 <+Ridley> dude it goes right over you
16:52 < aintaer> Wouldn't I drop through the holes back into Giga York?
16:52 <+Ridley> Not if you do it right
16:52 <+Ridley> you're not ROLLING AROUND in morphball
16:53 <+Ridley> you go into morphball while the laser goes off
16:53 < maou> you guys just keep fucking around on terrestrial yorks
16:53 <+Ridley> then you drop a power bomb and it stuns Omega York
16:53 < maou> I'm already chilling out here in new space york
16:53 <+Ridley> Hyperdimension-York here, yo.
16:53 < aintaer> omg maou no spoilers
16:54 <+Ridley> Anyway then after he's stunned you obviously dump supermissiles into central park.
16:54 < maou> central park is a boondoggle, the best weak spot to aim for during that phase of the fight is actually flushing
16:55 < maou> but since it's way out on the edge nobody ever thinks to aim there
16:55 < aintaer> But all the noodle shops!
16:55 < maou> exactly.
16:55 <+Ridley> It's way too hard to reliably spam supermissiles into
16:55 < myew> It's not exactly good so much of a firearm.
16:56 <+Ridley> it does mor damage per missile but you can outdo that in central park by sheer volume
16:56 < maou> That's why you use the lock-on upgrade.
16:56 < SlimeDroid> New Por- oh right
16:56 < SlimeDroid> been done
16:56 <+Ridley> you have to sequence break to have the lock-on before fighting Omega York though
16:56 < nyan> and all that does it.
16:57 < maou> no you fucking don't, jesus christ
16:57 <+Ridley> You totally do.  You're SUPPOSED to get it with space jump, not triangle-jump abuse.
16:57 <+Ridley> Look in the prima guide, dude, it's how they intended the upgrades to be got.
16:58 < aintaer> STOP WITH THE SPOILERS OH MY GOD
16:58 < maou> and the space jump drops off of death washington, but everybody goes for omega york first because it's closer to the northeast corridor
16:58 <+Ridley> No, everybody goes for omega york first because death washington is actually a hard boss, not just simple pattern recognition
16:59 < SlimeDroid> guys can you help me beat mecha angeles
16:59 <+Ridley> and he's way easier once you have the Liberty Suit
16:59 < maou> I guess you should learn to play, nub.
16:59 <+Ridley> which you get off Omega York.
16:59 <+Ridley> fuck you maou I beat the game on hard mode with minimal items run
17:00 < maou> christ that doesn't mean anything if you didn't finish the 12 bonus european city-states too
17:00 <+Ridley> but aintaer's doing a blind run here so he doesn't know where to get the lock-on yet, unless he's really lucky
17:00 <+Ridley> the fuck I didn't.  Meta-Paris had awesome music.
17:01 <+Ridley> Did you hear they're doing DLC for a bunch of Asian cities?
17:02 < maou> oh fuck no I am not paying 500 points so I can fight Tokyo-3 from the first game AGAIN
17:02 <+Ridley> Yeah, but have you seen the tits on Seoul?  Good god, man.
17:02 <+Ridley> You'd have to be gay not to--oh.
17:02 < aintaer> But maou you get to fight the Pe King
17:03 < aintaer> I know it's not accurate or anything but dude, he eats Hiro-shumai mid battle to regain health
17:04 <+Ridley> NOW WHO'S SPOILING AINTAER
17:04 < aintaer> IT WAS IN THE TRAILER
17:04 <+Ridley> I never got that far
17:04 <+Ridley> I kept rewinding it to watch Seoul jiggle.
17:04 < maou> Gross. .z.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 03, 2011, 01:52:00 PM
Quote
teg says:
 man
 Super Mario World is awesome on a tiny screen
 HEY APPLESAUCE
 TIME TO BUY DINNERFOODS
 WHAT SHOULD I GET
 man, fuck you ada bee
 I'm tired of waitin'
 I'll ask SOCK PUPPET ADA BEE
 SPAB: <YOU SHOULD HAVE A MACARONI AND CHEEBS
 Thanks, Sock Puppet Ada Bee!
  :whoops:

This is what I get for leaving my chat window idle.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on November 05, 2011, 08:51:08 PM
In response to: https://twitter.com/TNG_S8

[21:35]   Brentai   Nebula interference causes Data to believe that he is Benjamin Franklin. Riker loses a bet and has to crossdress for 5 stardays.
[21:36]   Brentai   The Abraham Lincoln clone from TOS invades the Enterprise-E, intent on killing all the Klingon on board. Data teaches Spot to flush the toilet.
[21:37]   Esperath   Q causes deep space to turn into an ocean; Picard has to negotiate with a race of space merpeople. Barclay sticks his finger into a holodeck port.
[21:38]   Friday   Data accidently interfaces with the Holodeck while Spot takes over the ship.
[21:39]   Esperath   The warp core's warp core goes critical, featuring a cameo by Xzibit. Meanwhile, Geordi still can't get laid.
[21:39]   Esperath   The command crew goes back in time to the 1980s, gets Rickrolled. Keiko and O'Brien have angry make-up sex.
[21:41]   Friday   Esperath goes back to 1999, plays Brood War with teenage Friday. Meanwhile, Data teaches Riker how to love.
[21:41]   Esperath   Shodan takes over the ship's computer while the crew is on shore leave. Data implants a party chip and blacks out, remembers nothing.
[21:41]   Brentai   The adolescent daughter of a Vulcan diplomat goes into Pon Farr and sets her sights on Worf. Geordi relaxes with a holodeck simulation of a room full of Star Wars toys.
[21:42]   Friday   An unstable virus infiltrates the ship and transforms the crew into random animals. Romosome must defeat a host of foes on the way to the Warp Core where he will destroy the virus by barking at it for several hours.
[21:42]   Brentai   The Borg return and challenge Data to a chess match to decide the fate of the human race. Riker begins a relationship with a Horta that lasts for four episodes.
[21:43]   Brentai   An unstable virus causes intoxication-like effects to the crew of the Enterprise and... wait.
[21:43]   Esperath   Cardassians transport a nanovirus onto the Enterprise, causing the entire crew to break out into cold sores. Picard remodels his room to have exactly four lights.
[21:44]   Friday   The crew of the Enterprise discover an amazing new technology! Data is fired for texting while navigating
[21:44]   zaratrout   A space virus infects the human members of the Enterprise, despite all biological reasons against it. Friday decides to drive the ship backwards for the whole week.
[21:45]   Esperath   A rip in the space-time continuum causes Garibaldi from Babylon 5 to materialize on the bridge of the Enterprise, introduces the crew to Looney Tunes. Crusher paces through 10 Forward restlessly.
[21:45]   Brentai   To survive in a nebula, Geordi seeks out a retired Mr. Scott to retrofit the Enterprise-E with dilithium crystals. A visiting Sisko joins Geordi in a holodeck simulation in which he is John Shaft.
[21:45]   Lee-Ham   Q traps the crew in an off-Broadway production of Rent. Barclay must shut up and jam.
[21:46]   Brentai   Protesting the income inequality aboard the ship, the occupants of the saucer stage an Occupy Battle Bridge movement. Picard teaches Worf to play the flute.
[21:48]   zaratrout   Data struggles with human emotions for the twentieth fucking episode. Wesley Crusher tries to grow pot in the warp nacelles.
[21:49]   Brentai   Picard must somehow reverse a temporal anomaly from three different points in history. Riker and Worf bond over their mutual love of Troi's ass.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 05, 2011, 09:06:30 PM
I think Friday's line at 21:38 was an actual episode.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 05, 2011, 09:37:29 PM
Since I have been watching TNG lately, I can confirm that all of these are dumb enough to be real.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 05, 2011, 09:39:00 PM
The first season is just full of dumb stuff. Like for real Picard said he had a headache and Crusher was like HEADACHE WHAT'S THAT??

And then she says she wants to run some tests. Bad news everyone: in three centuries we still won't know how to deal with headaches.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on November 10, 2011, 02:17:58 AM
[04:16] <Stush> Man, you know what we should do?
[04:16] <Stush> We should give myew a twitter
[04:16] <myew> A main character of mine. You'll see what we should give myew a twitter.
[04:17] <Lee-Ham> @myew_ebooks
[04:17] <myew> You can just pirate ebooks.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 13, 2011, 10:28:41 PM
Brentai   I almost applied for a job at Zenimax.
Brentai   I'm kind of sad I didn't now.
Brentai   Because if I had, and I had got it
Brentai   I could tell everybody
Brentai   That I had a Skyrim job.
Ridley   !skyrimshot
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on November 14, 2011, 12:55:13 AM
FUS RO TISH!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on November 16, 2011, 02:44:26 PM
Quote
00:20   Mothra   http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ld4z8chQcX1qzlgkno1_500.jpg (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ld4z8chQcX1qzlgkno1_500.jpg)
00:29   Hermit   manowar garfield, yesssss
00:30   Mothra   jesus the garfield of the far right
00:30   Mothra   aaaahhhhhh
00:31   Mothra   They need to do Arbuckle's college years
00:31   Mothra   Man has got principles of a sort
00:32   Mothra   He reminds me of todd in ways that are difficult to describe
00:32   Mothra   He chooses to live in but one of the countless possible ways in which a man could live his life
00:32   Mothra   And this way is such as a way that revolves entirely around
00:32   Mothra   (help me out here)
00:33   Mothra   Sweatersss
00:33   Mothra   Sock drawers I suppose
00:33   Mothra   It does not seem as such that Arbuckle will leave his world
00:33   Mothra   This world of his talking cat and his sock drawer
00:33   Mothra   We are meant to take his eccentricities in jest but
00:34   Mothra   (somebody please)
00:34   Mothra   In an abstract sort of way
00:34   Mothra   He carries with him at all times a set of burning interests that he himself seems shamed of
00:36   Mothra   These are things that have rendered him completely and utterly enclosed in a timeless reality of one-note and immediately fleeting exclamations
00:36   Mothra   Which his cat, as the voice of his inner monologue
00:36   Mothra   Will unfailingly mock
00:38   Mothra   (Eazy perhaps you might want to take the wheel here)
00:50   Eazi-F   what we have in Jon is a profound fusion of maniacal denial and profound despair
00:51   Eazi-F   all of which finds extraordinary expression in the cat which is both id and superego, both innocently greedy and endlessly mocking
00:51   Mothra   HAHAHA
00:52   Mothra   As the cat and the man appear both unaging and unaffected by the passage of time nor the changing of the times
00:53   Eazi-F   in the realm of the unconscious
00:53   Eazi-F   time does not exist
00:55   Mothra   One can easily see how something as challenging as the ongoing military action abroad would be framed as such as a commune of mice in civil unrest
00:55   Mothra   Garfield the domineering antagonist in this difficult idea as he is in all other aspects of Jon's life
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on November 16, 2011, 06:45:37 PM
00:31   Mothra   They need to do Arbuckle's college years

The strip really did hit its peak when Jon was living with his college roommate, Lyman.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 16, 2011, 07:14:04 PM
But... that was in the first three months.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 16, 2011, 07:31:01 PM
Personally I think the strip hit its peak when they took Garfield out of it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on November 16, 2011, 07:43:13 PM
I would like to see a theater play of Garfield, Waiting for Godot-style.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kashan on November 16, 2011, 07:44:55 PM
I think it's weird that the Garfield without Garfield comics became so much more popular than the Garfield comics that just removed Garfield's thought bubbles. Jon comes off just as crazy and depressed, but it's truer to the original.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on November 16, 2011, 08:35:11 PM
Yeah, I always preferred the ones where Garfield's there but doesn't talk, myself.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 24, 2011, 07:34:08 PM
Quote
samus_aran says:
 guess I'm makin' rice and pork.
 Stir fry.
 Stuff.
 hey
 uh
 ada bee
 how do you stir fry
Ada Bee says:
 add food to wok
 stir
samus_aran says:
 what's wok?
Ada Bee says:
 All wok and no play
 Wok the casbah
 Open the door
 Get on the floor
samus_aran says:
 >:I
Ada Bee says:
 Everybody wok the dinosaur
samus_aran says:
 I'm gonna' fly to Ontario and hit you.
Ada Bee says:
 :3c
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 25, 2011, 10:32:12 AM
Brentai   Okay, now I need to go brave the dangers of Target.
Ridley      BE CAREFUL BRENTAI
Brentai   Can I get a buff?
Ridley      casts Repel Cougars on Brentai
maou      Can I get a huff of the buff?
Brentai   ...I don't think cougars hang out at Target.
Ridley      Well they won't be while you're there.
Cait      Cougars or cougars?
Brentai   I... thanks?
Ridley      spell's not picky, Cait
maou      propel cougars
Cait      Also, apparently the Target here is a ghost town right now.
zalgotustra   cast deflect crying babies
Cait      From a friend's report.
Kara99 casts an aura on Brentai that reduces aggro by 50% from any nearby shoppers
maou      inflict serious deals
Brentai   Damage Wallet
Cait      Cure Disposable Income
Ridley      Dispel Pocket Change
Brentai   Life Savings Drain
Esperath   Prismatic Stink
Friday   Mass Consumerism
maou      Power Word: Price Cut
Ridley      Too close to a real thing, Esperath
Esperath   I guess all of the filthy fuckers who have been camping all week in front of the store are already gone, at least
Ridley      Negate Inflation
Brentai   Cash to Air
zalgotustra   Bigby's Big Savings
myew      You could say it again, your business is filled to the boss and the air through the air a bit.
Ridley      Why are you still here instead of en route to Target
Brentai   Meatier Swarm
zalgotustra   Seek Target
Brentai   Because I'm having fun with this dead horse.
Ridley      I don't remember the last dead horse we had in here.
-->|   Xerox (2346923469@cpe-72-129-65-109.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #finalfight
Brentai   Summon Monster Deals
maou      Wish
maou      Christmas Miracle
Brentai   Yeah okay now I'm done.
Friday   Melf's Midnight Madness Blowout
maou      Bigby's Unseen Haahnevermind.
Ridley      Mordenkainen's Magnificent Bargains
maou      Time to shower and get drunk in prepartion for seeing the moms.
Ridley      Tasha's Hideous Shoppers
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 28, 2011, 01:39:16 PM
[15:32] <@Romosome> You know what's cool?
[15:32] <@Romosome> Microgravity flames
[15:32] <@Romosome> Without gravity, fire is spherical!
[15:32] <zaratustra> that can't beeeeeeeeeee
[15:34] <@Romosome> well apparently it took us until 2000 to confirm this experimentally
[15:34] <@Romosome> but it seems pretty obvious
[15:34] <@Romosome> I mean, what direction does a flame go in
[15:34] <@Romosome> someone socrates with me here WHAT DIRECTION DOES A FLAME GO IN
[15:34] <+BongoBill> towards the sun
[15:34] <@Romosome> :|
[15:35] <+BongoBill> wait I mean the sky
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on November 28, 2011, 01:56:34 PM
You didn't include the rest of my amazing science!

[14:35:03] <+Ridley> A flame goes flameward.
[14:35:14] <@Romosome> so what direction is that
[14:35:15] <+BongoBill> It goes wherever you're aiming the flamethrower.
[14:35:23] <@Romosome> no what direction does flame move in
[14:35:24] <TheTsunami> wherever the hell it wants
[14:35:26] <@Romosome> does it rise or fall
[14:35:35] <@Romosome> a candle flame
[14:35:37] <+BongoBill> Romosome: Well, here it's up, but on the other side of the world it's down. It would also be down if you're above the firmament.
[14:35:38] <@Romosome> come on people
[14:35:44] <@Romosome> Bill I'll kill you
[14:35:46] <GauHelldragon> it rises
[14:36:08] <+BongoBill> Fire is attracted to birds, and that's why they taste so good when roast.
[14:36:10] <@Romosome> Yes it rises
[14:36:22] <@Romosome> Listen it's just one of those unintuitive things that makes sense after a basic examination
[14:36:31] <@Romosome> like how buoyancy doesn't exist in zero grav
[14:36:49] <@Romosome> if you remove "down", you also remove "up" and everything that depends on it
[14:36:54] <@Romosome> I dunno I thought that was cool
14:37:18] <GauHelldragon> Romosome :)
[14:37:35] <GauHelldragon> good thing our digestive system doesn't depend on gravity
[14:37:44] <@Romosome> yeah peristalsis for the win right
[14:37:54] <@Romosome> though it is influenced by it to a degree
[14:37:58] <+BongoBill> Fire moves up because up is the opposite of down, down is the direction where dirt is, and fire abhors dirt because of its extinguishing powers.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: McDohl on November 28, 2011, 02:42:49 PM
Your science is weak.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on November 28, 2011, 02:44:08 PM
[14:36:08] <+BongoBill> Fire is attracted to birds, and that's why they taste so good when roast.

This seems sound to me.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kashan on November 28, 2011, 02:47:59 PM
I think Romo meant Aristotle and not Socrates. I'm also not sure he understand's Aristotle's physics. Aristotle said that beneath the sphere of the moon fire moved away from the center of the universe because it was made of tiny d4s and that's what their natural movement was. This is patently false as anybody who has ever stepped on a d4 caltrop can attest. That said, microgravity fire does sound pretty sweet.

Edit: I just realized I'm a derp and that Romo was probably invoking the socratic method as opposed to ancient Greek Physics.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 28, 2011, 04:13:45 PM
In this quote a man asks for Greek logic and gets Greek philosophy.

The humor is inherent in the irony of asking for something and receiving it in a way that is wholly opposite of what was intended.

The protagonist, Romosome, is what we call the everyman, or "a dumb."

The antagonist Bongo Bill on the other hand consistently chooses terrible and pretentious films to show to people.

These classic elements are what blend together to make up what we call a "quote".  This quote is on of the great quotes of our time.

That's all the time we have for now.  I do so hope you enjoyed this quote as much as I did.  Goodnight.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on November 28, 2011, 04:37:18 PM
It could have been a reference to the Socratic Dialogues. You can't prove it wasn't.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 28, 2011, 07:49:21 PM
Quote from: from a guy I know after a discussion of how well-known Texas is internationally
I was once at a Steak n' Shake in Dallas and some lady from Steak n' Shake Corporate was there asking people questions for some kind of marketing research or something. She asked me where I was from. I said "Houston." She said "Oh! Where is that?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on November 28, 2011, 08:02:15 PM
Foreigners tend to forget that 93% of the country isn't Texas.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on November 28, 2011, 08:28:08 PM
So do Texans.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 29, 2011, 11:55:00 PM
<@Friday> ROMO! HOTTEST GIRL TRAPPED IN A ROOM FILLED WITH ACID! TEN SECONDS GO.
<@Romosome> Friday: YOU
* @Romosome pulls lever
<@Friday> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...............
<@Romosome> somewhere, kayin gets a boner
<Brentai> Yes, Kayin.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 30, 2011, 10:30:33 AM
[12:19] <yeoz> McDonald's restaurants in San Francisco have found a way to comply with a city law that bans free toy giveaways with Happy Meals: charge 10 cents for the toys.
[12:19] <Kara99> fuck them
[12:19] <Kara99> the city
[12:19] <yeoz> The money from the toy sales will help build a new Ronald McDonald House.
[12:19] <Kara99> not McD's
[12:19] <zaratustra> in addition to purchasing the happy meal?
[12:20] <yeoz> dunno
[12:20] <yeoz> yeah
[12:20] <yeoz> it's in addition
[12:20] <yeoz> The San Francisco Chronicle reports that franchises in the city will begin the dime to customers who request that the toys be added to their Happy Meals.
[12:20] <zaratustra> makes sense, at least superficially
[12:21] <zaratustra> I mean you're giving a toy to a kid in exchange for him eating a fatty meal
[12:21] <Kara99> you can buy the toys without a meal for 50 cents
[12:21] <zaratustra> that's positive reinforcement
[12:21] <zaratustra> you can?
[12:21] <Kara99> so if you REALLY want the toy and not the junk food
[12:21] <Kara99> yep
[12:24] <zaratustra> and I ate four happy meals just to get my fiancee the madagascar penguins
[12:24] <zaratustra> dammit
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on November 30, 2011, 02:45:25 PM
i regret nothing
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 30, 2011, 09:52:38 PM
I picture Zara sitting on the curb and gorging on happy meals while people walk by and shake their heads.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 01, 2011, 08:40:26 AM
Quote
My copy editor buddy says he's editing a story that has a Key West fire chief named Bum Farto
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on December 01, 2011, 02:39:55 PM
<@Romosome> sometimes I worry about like
<@Romosome> having a sudden heart attack
<@Romosome> and dying with my porn tabs still open

He died as he lived.

Watching girls rimjob horses.

I'm just catching up on these, and that is fucking funny. So funny I'm going to probably rip it off.

No! I'm going to start a whole new blockbuster cultural phenomenon of a website just so I can sell T-shirts with that on them.

Er, with your permission, of course.

Or not. Like I give a fuck.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on December 01, 2011, 03:00:15 PM
eBaumsworld already stole your idea, Sharkey.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on December 01, 2011, 03:59:36 PM
No, I'm stealing theirs. And I should get bonus points for that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 01, 2011, 04:33:13 PM
He died as he lived.

Watching girls rimjob horses.

I'm just catching up on these, and that is fucking funny. So funny I'm going to probably rip it off.

No! I'm going to start a whole new blockbuster cultural phenomenon of a website just so I can sell T-shirts with that on them.

Er, with your permission, of course.

Or not. Like I give a fuck.

What? Hell no. Girls giving rimjobs to horses is my thing. It has been since I was in middle school. I still remember the first time I said it in class, and a nearby girl exclaimed "Ew!".

The faculty was very concerned.

Anyway, yeah, knock yourself out. Hell, send me a shirt for free. I have no money and winter is coming.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 01, 2011, 04:55:12 PM
But DN, if you make a comic of it, you can claim IP rights!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 01, 2011, 05:10:10 PM
<R^2> Last time I had a job interview they asked me if I had a police record. I told them I have Don't Stand So Close To Me.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 02, 2011, 05:32:19 PM
<@Friday> oh god
<@Friday> my friend is messaging me
<@Friday> about how she just went pants shopping and NOW SHE IS DEPRESSED BECAUSE SHE IS FAT
<@Friday> how do i
<@Friday> I thought only guys had to deal with this shit
<@Friday> WHAT DO I SAY
<Caithness> lol
<Caithness> what would you want her to say to you?
<@Friday> that doesn't work, because I'm not her
<Mr_Saturn> has she in fact gotten fatter?
<@Friday> nope
<MetalSlime> STOP BEING FAT LIKE THOSE PEOPLE IN THAT CHAT ROOM I HANG OUT IN
<Caithness> sounds like that's what you say, then
<MetalSlime> REALLY THEY ARE SO FAT. YOU WANT TO BE FAT LIKE THEM?
<MetalSlime> THOUGHT NOT
<@Friday> hahaha
<@Friday> YOU WILL NEVER BE AS FAT AS KAZZ is probably the thing to say to me, yeah
<@Friday> NO MATTER HOW GAY OR FAT YOU ARE, KAZZ DWARFS OVER YOU
<+BongoBill> Facetiously, the solution is to say that she should be depressed for being stupid instead. That would be a tremendously cruel thing to tell her.
<Dr_Nerd> oh man why do people play the fat gambit
<Dr_Nerd> that never ends well
<+BongoBill> Fat Gambit isn't even in UMvC3
<@Friday> I'm just going to ignore her I think
<Dr_Nerd> Try changing the conversation
<Dr_Nerd> Try talking about the weather, or the local sports team which you like
<@Friday> HEY HOW ABOUT THOSE FAT GUYS I HEARD THEY PUT ON ABOUT 50000000 LBS LAST SEASON BUT STILL AREN'T QUITE AS FAT AS YOU
<@Friday> wait oops
<@Friday> I meant uh
<@Friday> how about those jesus your legs are like trees and your neck has a zipcode
<Dr_Nerd> yeah but their butts are still pretty tight right
<Dr_Nerd> no matter how fat they seem to get
<TheTsunami> How about a fashion change up? I heard mumus were in this winter!
<@Friday> So I heard it was gonna rain tomorrow and jesus h fucking christ oh my god oh my god the moon is going to collide with the earth we're all doomed oh shit oh shit oh wait that's just your ass
<MetalSlime> wait a minute
<MetalSlime> why does your ass have craters
<MetalSlime> oh god
<Dr_Nerd> DAWN OF THE THIRD DAY
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: the asshole you hate on December 02, 2011, 05:38:10 PM
The best idea here might be a very high context way to say, "Looks aren't everything." I'd do it as nonviolently as possible by using an I statement. "I don't pay attention to those kind of things."

If, on the other hand, you want your friend skinnier, use a you statement like, "You did seem skinnier earlier this year." or similar words. Warning: Likely to work really well and cost a friend.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on December 02, 2011, 05:55:57 PM
It's a call for pity sex.  Go make out with her.

Send pics.

Unless she's actually fat.

Then don't send pics.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 02, 2011, 05:58:03 PM
See I don't understand these situations. If you can't respond with "eat less fatty" why is she your friend?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 02, 2011, 06:02:43 PM
Personally I've always wanted to see The Thing and The Blob do it, so I'm game for pics.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 03, 2011, 12:04:18 PM
Wait, movie Thing and Blob, or Marvel Thing and Blob?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on December 03, 2011, 12:10:25 PM
The only thing that moves The Blob is a flash of Grimm's baby blues.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 03, 2011, 12:32:47 PM
Wait, movie Thing and Blob, or Marvel Thing and Blob?

Movie. Friday's whole running gag is that she's some manner of Lovecraftian monster woman, right? I guess I should've been clearer.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on December 03, 2011, 09:59:42 PM
Wait, movie Thing and Blob, or Marvel Thing and Blob?

Movie. Friday's whole running gag is that she's some manner of Lovecraftian monster woman, right? I guess I should've been clearer.

I just read everything she writes in the voice of Old Gregg.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 04, 2011, 05:19:16 AM
you ever drink babies out of a shoe?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 08, 2011, 05:09:57 PM
Quote
I'm curious, what are you guys general feelings about the Administration's position on the Keystone XL pipeline?
Quote
I'm against any sort of pipeline that carries Keystone Lite.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on December 13, 2011, 12:52:16 AM
Amazon Lightning Deal hint text:
Quote
This is a Nintendo DS game that simulates life, or at least it would if your life was about being trapped on a sinking ship and forced to complete a series of incomprehensible puzzles before your practically inevitable doom.

I had to check twice to make sure I hadn't landed on the game review section of someone's personal webspace.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on December 13, 2011, 12:58:55 AM
Hey, I remember being interested in that game.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 13, 2011, 08:08:04 AM
I don't, but I sure am now!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Norondor on December 13, 2011, 09:45:22 AM
Fuck, I just finished ghost trick.* I should look into 999.

*PROTIP: ghost trick is great
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on December 15, 2011, 09:08:17 PM
[21:05]   <Kazz>   !surge my own penis
[21:05]   <Blackpearl>   SURGE: 4790 Target appears deformed or hideously ugly in sunlight
[21:05]   <Kazz>   .....
[21:05]   <Kazz>   this is poor happenstance
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 23, 2011, 07:07:49 AM
<Esperath> feeling any better?
<@Fridayquest> a little
<@Fridayquest> got really naseated
<@Fridayquest> dunno why
<Esperath> :(
<Esperath> are you preggers
<Stush> Pregnesia
* Esperath pregs all over Stush
<Esperath> pregophobia
<Esperath> a fear of pasta sauce
<@Fridayquest> If I'm pregnant I'm going to have a very stern talk with my imaginary boyfriend
<@Fridayquest> he told me he was imaginary and I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant
<Esperath> they lie like that
<Esperath> because it feels better
<Esperath> without an imaginary condom
<kashan> Friday is imaginary pregnant? Congrats Friday.
<Esperath> IMAGINARY LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION
<Esperath> DON'T YOU DARE CONSIDER AN IMAGINARY ABORTION
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on December 23, 2011, 07:33:39 AM
The truly tragic part is how you won't get to go to imaginary college now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 23, 2011, 07:35:46 AM
Imaginary Life Begins at Inception

Imaginary babies within imaginary babies. You fantasy womb is now a matryoshka doll.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 23, 2011, 12:33:13 PM
BABIES EVERRRYWHERRRRE!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 23, 2011, 07:51:15 PM
FOUR HUNDRED BABIES
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 23, 2011, 08:13:25 PM
Babies babies everywhere and not a bite to eat.

Because they're imaginary.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 26, 2011, 06:38:02 PM
<NexAdruin> haven't we had this discussion. almost everyone in star wars has a name and backstory. there's one guy in the entire mos eisley cantina that doesn't have a name
<Lady> I'm sure that will change soon, NexAdruin
<NexAdruin> if it hasn't changed yet I don't know why now would be the time
<Brentai> Because I'm here!
* Brentai opens up Word, starts crafting tail of Simor Balmor.
<Brentai> Yes, tail.  For soup.
<Brentai> Simor Balmor took a sip of his fine Aldebaraan tea as he contemplated the fact that it was noon and he was not wearing his space shades.  Simor Balmor knew.  God damn Gungans.
<Brentai> Good God, why.
<quairlzr> thought Simor Balmor.
<@Fridack> Suddenly a 190007 Chevy Malibu Speeder burst through the wall.
<Brentai> Simor Balmor and his 1903 Chevy LandspeeNO
<@Fridack> "I'm a dodge," said the 190007 Chevy Malibu Speeder.
<Brentai> Suddenly the Made of Laffy Taffy Motherfucker Space Vampire rose up from behind the Cantina bar.  "I'm made of Laffy Taffy, motherfucker!" blahed the Made of Laffy Taffy Motherfucker Space Vampire.
<Brentai> This is quality work.  I think I'm going to add it to my portfolio.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Roger on December 26, 2011, 06:39:05 PM
<Brentai> Man, fucking Wii.
<Brentai> I've got it hooked up in my room.
<Brentai> And I'm all thinking "aw yeah gaming in bed while I'm sick oldschool"
<Brentai> But fuck if I want to deal with the goddam Wiimote right now.
<Lee-Ham> as if waggling while in bed isn't second nature to you
<Brentai> Hur hurr
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on January 01, 2012, 11:47:52 PM
[23:42]   Esperath   hmm
[23:42]   Esperath   brentai said he was a metal cock, correct?
[23:43]   Esperath   I am apparently a water pig
[23:43]   Esperath   oink oink
[23:43]   Esperath   splash splash
[23:43]   NexAdruin   Was brentai the metal cock?
[23:43]   NexAdruin   I thought it was someone else
[23:43]   Esperath   well, it's anyone born Feb 5, 1981 – Jan 24, 1982
[23:43]   NexAdruin   oh ok
[23:44]   Esperath   we are currently metal rabbit going into water dragon
[23:44]   BongoBill   The water dragon is the most annoying NPC in Skyward Sword.
[23:45]   Esperath   oh I think Friday is a metal cock
[23:45]   Esperath   Brentai might be as well, forget how old he is
[23:45]   NexAdruin   yeah I was thinking Friday as well Esperath
[23:46]   Vance   According to Friday I am the only thing that beats a metal cock
[23:46]   Vance   Which sounds oh so right
[23:46]   Esperath   what are you
[23:46]   BongoBill   A masturbating robot, of course.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on January 10, 2012, 01:40:28 PM
[15:39] Vance: !haiku for Zara's wedding
[15:39] Upthorn: Haiku Novicework: Didn't I fuck her? / what is this bullshittery? / and then I woke up
[15:39] Vance: ...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on January 11, 2012, 12:16:29 AM
[00:14]   Friday   I haven't seen a real life naked woman in real life
[00:14]   Friday   in about
[00:14]   Friday   looks down
[00:14]   Friday   nevermind
[00:14]   Esperath   friday has marsdragon in her lap
[00:14]   Finnel   <MarsDragon> Please don't get a boner Please don't get a boner Please don't get a boner Please don't get a boner Please don't get a boner Please don't get a boner
[00:14]   Finnel   <MarsDragon> She did. :(
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 11, 2012, 03:53:15 PM
Quote
The trick to haikus
is to keep writing and line-
breaking until you
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on January 11, 2012, 05:43:04 PM
Would be quote worth it if it wasn't a shitty haiku.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on January 27, 2012, 09:00:13 AM
Quote
The plot of the Super Star Wars series is that you are one of the plucky heroes of the trilogy (your choice of which in many levels), and your mission is to kill everything you see.

 Super Star Wars lets you in on the untold secret of the Star Wars universe, the director's cut: Every single creature or robot that is on-screen in a Star Wars movie for even half a second is one among an army of identical creatures that are out to destroy Luke, and they all shoot energy balls, so you'd better harden the fuck up and slaughter them.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on January 27, 2012, 09:30:49 AM
Would be quote worth it
if it wasn't a shitty
haiku.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on January 27, 2012, 03:32:28 PM
[15:31]   <Esperath>   A Feast for Cows
[15:31]   <Lee-Ham>   by Gary R. R. Larson
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on January 29, 2012, 07:33:32 PM
<zaratoast> I've noticed girls like to wear shirts that say "I Love Nerds" but never want to hear all 45 ways I would have improved the Watchmen movie.
<Brentai> #1: Use Saturday Morning Watchmen instead of Graphic Novel Watchmen as source.
<Brentai> #2: Make Dr. Manhattan's naked blue schlong much larger.  Make Dr. Manhattan a small blue pony.
<Brentai> #3: Instead of replacing it wholesale with a nuke, make massive psychic squid more believable by replacing it with massive amorous squid.
<Brentai> #4: 20 minute fight scene in which Rorschach disables the whole prison with his deep fryer.  At the end he thrusts it into the air triumphantly, spilling the grease in his own face and giving him permanent patterned scars.
<Brentai> #5: Actually show one of The Comedian's stand-up comedy routines.
<Brentai> 6: Night Owl should be massively overweight.  He should also own a video game company.
<Brentai> #7: After being called a prostitute, Ozymandias gasps and says "How did you know?"
<Brentai> #8: Doomsday clock strikes twelve.  Dracula is released from his thousand-year sleep.
<Brentai> #9: After Dr. Manhattan decides to go make some humans, we see him mining for redstone and diamonds.  Later, we see that he has actually made an eternally shitting butt.
<Brentai> #10: Bubastis can talk, but can only say "Bubastis".
<Brentai> #11: We see Dr. Manhattan's first girlfriend, who he DIDN'T figure out couldn't breath in space.
<Dr_Nerd> #12 Bubastis also survives and gets work as the mascot for his own brand of sugary frosted corn starch cereal.  Paparazzi eventually reveals his sordid affair with Count Chocula.
<Brentai> #13: Redesign Silk Spectre's costume.  Add cat ears.
<Dr_Nerd> Tagline for #12's cereal was "THEEEEY'RE VEIDT!"
<Dr_Nerd> (yes it was necessary)
<Brentai>#14: Instead of destroying New York, Ozymandias's plan is to rip off millions of people for small amount of petty cash.  When asked when he's going to do it, he answers "I did it 90 minutes ago."  Film ends immediately.
<Dr_Nerd> #15 Dancing Queen plays over as the soundtrack for the entirety of the movie.  All 2+ hours.
<Brentai> #16: Added subplot where Nicolas Cage discovers codes embedded in Silk Spectre I's Tijuana Bibles that lead to the truth about Abe Lincoln's assassination.  The Comedian did it.
<Brentai> #17: Nite Owl and Dr. Manhattan both discover that The Comedian was also THEIR fathers.
<Brentai> #18: Rorschach reveals the awful truth to the world: That Silk Spectre is a man.  Nite Owl is not sure how he managed to miss that.
<Brentai> #19: The newspaper kid reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off the entire time.
<Ridley> #20: Ozymandias reads through Rorschach's whole diary, jerking off on the newspaper kid the entire time.
Dr_Nerd> #21 Nixon wears a massive sombrero in every scene he's in for some reason
<Shana> #22: Hats feature more prominetly
<Dr_Nerd> #23 Fuck it, everyone gets sombreros.
<Ridley> #23 The truth is revealed that The Comedian was not only the Silk Spectre's father, but her mother as well.  Danny DeVito cameos to explain how.
<Ridley> FUCK YOU
<Dr_Nerd> :)
<Mr_Saturn> #24 Manhattan's dick tripled in size
<Ridley> Brentai did that one.
<Ridley> But better.
<Shana> #26: Everyone gets glowing blue dongs
<Brentai> #27: Redesign Dr. Manhattan's costume.  Add cat ears.
<BongoBill> #28: Set it in Tokyo instead of New York.
<Shana> #29: Darth Vader cameo.
<Shana> #30: Redesign Darth Vader costume. Add cat ears.
<Ridley> #31: And blue glowing dong.
<patito> #32: Psychic squid with blue dong tentacles destroys Tokyo
<Smiler> #33: Goku shows up
<Mr_Saturn> 34 pointless cgi gophers
<Ridley> #35: Someone survives the psychic alien nuke by hiding in a fridge.
<Shana> #36: Motorcycle chase.
<Brentai> #37: Picard and Data must fight a ship that is loose on the holodeck.  Riker finds out The Comedian is his father.
<Dr_Nerd> #38 Moloch has a 10-minute tap-dancing scene with Hooded Justice, wears adorable little tuxedo while doing so.
<Ridley> #39: But still shows off his glowing blue dong.
<Mr_Saturn> #40 Comedian played by reanimated groucho marx
<Brentai> #41: The attempted rape occurs on a pinball table.
<Ridley> #42: and leads to a high score.
<Dr_Nerd> #43 Pinball Wizard plays in the background inappropriately
<Mr_Saturn> 44: a robot hitler
<BongoBill> #45: The aristocrats!
<Roger> THAT'S THE LIST, PLAY ME TO THE DESK
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on January 29, 2012, 07:40:08 PM
FUCK YOU TED I WAS GOING TO POST THAT\.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on January 29, 2012, 07:46:00 PM
:slow:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 29, 2012, 11:40:24 PM
I shared that with a couple friends who pronounced it "The funniest chatlog they'd ever seen".

I'm sure you've all done better, but still, GOOD JOB GUYS.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on January 31, 2012, 01:11:44 AM
 <SimonTheDigger> !surge Jeanette
[01:11:49am -8] <+Aoko> SURGE: 4967 Target can cause his scent to mimic that of any normal animal
[01:11:55am -8] <SimonTheDigger> !wand Jeanette
[01:11:55am -8] <+Aoko> * SimonTheDigger waves the "SnakeScale 2HSword of Wonder" and points it at Jeanette -  369 Jeanette is teleported to a place SimonTheDigger would consider safe.
[01:12:06am -8] <myew> !Wand mr_saturn's butt -  167 projects image of he-man in front of the sf equivalent.
[01:12:06am -8] <+Aoko> * myew waves the "TuttleRock Helmet of Wonder" and points it at mr_saturn's butt -  750 mr_saturn's butt's stats are reduced to 1 until sunrise.
[01:12:21am -8] <myew> Saturn's tits need some blog hits" "insult a popular game as a whole lot of points for the butt.

I laugh so hard each time myew sets off my triggers.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: MarsDragon on February 01, 2012, 08:37:58 PM
[21:35] *** Romosome has signed off IRC ().
[21:38] Aoko: You're one year older, one year wiser, rock 'n' roll star, king czar and a kaiser! A room full of friends, a mouth full of cake, every present if for you and it feels pretty great! You're the man of the hour, the V-I-P, you get the first slice, of the P-I-E! But first blow out the candles, and make a wish! Put a smile on, cause it's your birthday, BITCH!
[21:38] Aoko: ...
[21:38] Aoko: DAMMIT ROMO
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 02, 2012, 09:27:46 PM
Brentai   !haiku for bandwagon
Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: it's clobberin' time / the invading mole people / it's all just a game...
Brentai   ...
Brentai   Wow that
Ridley   that's...
Ridley   that's a bestof.
Ridley   !addbest it's clobberin' time / the invading mole people / it's all just a game...
zaratoast   finally a bestof that is not related to sex in some way
Ridley   they're not ALL related to sex
Ridley   !bestofhaiku
Upthorn   Haiku Masterwork: Hear that Silent Bob? / your vagina is haunted / and it kinda hurts
Brentai   !bestofhaiku
Upthorn   Haiku Masterwork: I heard you were dead / I'm going to hell when I die / I predict buttsex
Ridley   OK fine that's a bad sampling
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on February 03, 2012, 08:01:12 AM
"I am not that kind of Libertarian, really; I don't hate poor people." (http://boingboing.net/2012/02/02/raw-week-i-am-not-that-kind.html) - Robert Anton Wilson

Really Boingboing's entire RAW Week (http://boingboing.net/tag/raw-week) is well worth reading.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 09, 2012, 09:15:32 PM
<@Romosome> okay
<@Romosome> my mom liked this image on facebook
<@Romosome> http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/406494_10151259451420089_647070088_22954594_589060165_n.jpg (http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/406494_10151259451420089_647070088_22954594_589060165_n.jpg)
<@Romosome> I am sorely tempted to comment on it with "WOMEN don't know how Bluetooth and Wifi work"
* Meikai hits romo
<Ted> Haha
<Meikai> Also, why aren't you my facebook friend, Homo
<@Romosome> I don't really use facebook like
<@Romosome> a ton
<@Romosome> only when I am being bored and useless and to talk with friends
<+BongoBill> Romosome is the joke that the person who made this doesn't actually understand the technology in question, or is the joke that I'm a big dork for saying that
* @Friday scans all users of #finalfight
* @Friday connects to ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ...
* @Friday ... myew.
<@Romosome> Bill: no that's my point
<@Friday> Romo stop using facebook it is for women and gays
<@Romosome> Friday how else am I going to keep track of the women and gays in my life
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 10, 2012, 01:30:32 AM
<Stush> I watched a 4 player LP of battletoads.
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> i beat iwbtg and i still cannot fucking hate myself enough to try beating battletoads
<Stush> The death counters were at like 252-450
<Stush> Battletoads looks like a terrible game.
<@Friday> Stush: me too!
<Stush> I wouldn't get past the first screen.
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> i'd rather have a leather clad friday stomp on my balls
<Stush> Why did people play it!
<rainwarrior> Battletoads is a wondereful game.
<Stush> It's a terrible looking game.
<Stush> By looking I don't mean the graphics
<rainwarrior> I played it because it looked like Ninja Turtles.
<Stush> I mean, it looks like it isn't fun at all.
<sede> Stush would beat the first 3 levels easy!
<rainwarrior> Now I play it because I love the gameplay.
<Stush> Can I like, bust through the bric65ks adasdkaaa6fra
<Stush> 77777777Kitty on keybaoel
<Stush> 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on February 10, 2012, 11:42:00 AM
Quote
<bionicfen|atwork> we have a new inspector starting in a couple of weeks name is Joe Falcon.
<bionicfen|atwork> bullshit you don't get to work in aviation and be named JOE FALCON
<bionicfen|atwork> HI I'M THE NEW MECHANIC, BILLY THRUSTERS
<feem> has he ever been the pilot of an aircraft
<feem> or perhaps served in the military
<feem> and been referred to as
<feem> captain
<bionicfen|atwork> oshit
<feem> has he ever worked in a machine shop
<feem> and operated the pneumatic punch
<feem> or perhaps worked with brass-tipped nail punches
<feem> or perhaps gone in the rain with a poncho
<feem> or possibly developed a beer belly
<feem> aka a paunch
<feem> these should be interview questions
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on February 10, 2012, 12:54:16 PM
Quote from: http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/1278
Public Hanging for those who propose public hanging

Responsible department: Ministry of Justice

When God said in the Bible "a noose for a noose" He was right. For too long sick perverts have been getting away with proposing public hanging in the UK. We say enough. The proposed punishments for some crimes are so horrific that the proper punishment for proposing this punishment is the death penalty. After all, with all that DNA science we now have, we can always prove all the time who has proposed a punishment for a crime, and then propose punishing them appropriately. So, Government, will you ConDem us to more Brussels non-justice? Or will you finally publicly hang anyone who proposes public hanging for any crime? We propose this.

via (http://boingboing.net/2012/02/09/recursive-uk-petition.html)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on February 10, 2012, 01:24:54 PM
So uh
if this petition passes
do they have to hang everyone that signed
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 16, 2012, 07:42:10 PM
Friday   I really like Lolo
Friday   a lot
Friday   In fact you could say
Friday   I'm
Friday   shades
Lee-Ham   a lolocon
Friday   DAMN IT
Aoko   YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on February 17, 2012, 11:39:24 PM
<Lee-Ham> my rigid collision physics are interacting with your softbody calculations
<Lee-Ham> I like the way you're rigged, baby
<Lee-Ham> take off that cloth deformation mesh and let me see your normals
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 18, 2012, 06:06:34 PM
<Stush> I am worried martha might have something in her eye
<Stush> Is there anything I can do about that?
<Stush> Or will it just fix itself?
* Romosome (~X@cpe-75-82-37-85.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #finalfight
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Romosome
<Mr_Saturn> Martha is a Cat or Dog?
<Mr_Saturn> I don't remember
<Stush> Cat
<Roger> And Tish is a Wife

Oh, Romo. The gift that keeps on giving. (Original quote below for those of you who don't remember)

<Sqbedzle> Oh god. :(
<Friday> ?
<Sqbedzle> Tiff started vomiting all of a sudden. She's back to sleep now, but now I'm wide awake and worrying.
<Romosome> if she went back to sleep and is breathing normally she's probably fine
<Romosome> dogs do puke a lot
<Sqbedzle> She was like "My stomach feels kind of funny", then two minutes later, vomit. The five minutes after that. Then ten or so minutes after that.
<Romosome> oh
<Romosome> Tiff isn't a dog?
<Romosome> I don't know who Tiff is.
<Romosome> I'm sorry.
<Sqbedzle> She's my girlfriend/de facto fiancee. It's cool.
<Niku> ....
<Roger> Tiff is Squizzle's lovemuffin
<Romosome> thanks, terribly embarassed.
<Niku> romo just had some epic win
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on February 18, 2012, 09:56:24 PM
GOD DON'T DO THAT MY HAIR IS AWFUL IN THAT QUOTE

AND DID I REALLY USED TO WEAR THOSE GLASSES
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on February 21, 2012, 12:22:04 AM
<@Romosome> grats on wife
<notKazz> thanks
<@Romosome> they are the most elusive pokemon'
<notKazz> i'm extremely lucky
<notKazz> cause like, i'm fat and poor
<notKazz> so i had to master ball this shit
<MetalSlime> Just be careful they don't evolve into Divorcea
<notKazz> They only become Divorcea if they level up while holding a Bitch Stone
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Defenestration on February 22, 2012, 04:11:37 AM
Did you get the shiny, Kazz?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on February 22, 2012, 08:21:40 PM
Romosome> okay guys
<Romosome> do you want to know like the biggest nerd quibble EVER
<Romosome> Okay I worked on World of Warcraft right
<Romosome> they have the Tauren
<Romosome> every race in Wow has its "culture kit"
<Romosome> like its own little set of objects to decorate their town
<Romosome> not just buildings but like crates and decorations and graveyard stuff and all that
<Romosome> it's pretty significant, it makes it clear when you step into a new little townlet "this is a Tauren place"
<Romosome> one of those unnoticed but vital bits
<Romosome> anyway so the Tauren graveyards have these like, weirdass things
<Romosome> they have these wooden scaffolds with mummies on them
<Romosome> cow mummies wrapped up laying on them
<Romosome> like they look like a pyre that hasn't been burned
<Romosome> so I actually researched this
<Mr_Saturn> Like the native American burial practice?
<Romosome> and by research I mean I watched Last of the Mohicans and Dances with Wolves
<Romosome> and checked wikipedia
<Romosome> and yes it's actually what they do because the ground is too hard to bury people down far enough to keep them safe from scavengers
<Romosome> so they put them up high enough for the wolves not to get at them
<Romosome> anyway because of this I made sure NOT to treat it like a pyre
<Romosome> I made a whole funeral scene
<Romosome> and made sure the tauren weren't shown burning their dead
<Romosome> and all this
<Romosome> and then when Cataclysm launched the guys doing the death/funeral of the Tauren leader used that object and just lit it the fuck up
<Romosome> fwoosh
<drethelin> haha
<Romosome> OH WELL
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on February 22, 2012, 09:25:09 PM
"Did you just say erotic auto-defenestration?"
"What? No. Erotic auto-asphyxiation. How in the hell would that work?"
"You jump out of a window while masturbating furiously, I guess."
"Oh. So first you splatter, and then you splatter."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on February 23, 2012, 09:49:01 PM
<Ramz> Salt Lake City isn't in Nevada?
<BBoy> does that need a question mark?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on February 24, 2012, 04:23:02 PM
Dan's my co-worker, who I used to work on those science lessons with. Back then, we sometimes had to find images off Google Image Search for reference or placeholders. We came up with a game where we'd try and find a search term that would not yield hardcore pornography after a certain number of pages. This was hard to do. Most of the time we'd just hit THE PORN WALL:

Quote
Dan: oh, you'll love this
I just played the google image search game with the terms "challenger deep" 
which, of course, is the deepest known point in the oceans

me: of course
how many pages did you get
 
Dan: and it was lookin reeeal good, too
and then
then
the veeeery last picture
was from a website called "gotslave.com"
DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK
i did not think that through
 
me: hehe
 
Dan: anyways
so that was the website
and it showed a picture of a gagged girl getting drilled from behind.
you know, like ya do.
and the caption "...Rip her @#$@# open and create a new CHALLENGER DEEP in her..."
 
me: WHOA
that is RUDE
that is perhaps the rudest copy I have seen in years
CHALLENGER DEEP
 
Dan: this guy clearly has some talent
but has chosen to sell it to the LOWEST BIDDER
 
me: the man goes where his penis guides him
 
Dan: do not follow his path
keep your gaze high
you must find your place with Quilting Magazine

me: no joke
writing for CHALLENGER DEEP would be an awesome job
you come in every day and just think of the filthiest thing one could possibly do to the thing they are getting their bone on with
and then you hit caps lock and let the magic pour from your soul

Dan: you'd have to work in other geophysical features
"...tear open a new "GREAT AFRICAN RIFT VALLEY..."

me: HAHAHA
the managing editor takes the paper as you turn it in, looks it over
shifts his pipe from one side of the mouth to the other
nods slightly
"brutally rude work here"
 
Dan: "Ok, kid"
nothing else.
just "Ok kid."

me: "it makes my soul feel like an ashtray"
"stick a few more hash tags and an @$$ in here and you've got a green light"
"I'm going to go wash out my eyes"

Dan: "...blow a new TEMEGAMI METAVOLCANIC BELT on her face..."

me: hahahaha
dear lord man
think of the children

Dan: pretty brutal, i know

me: "plunge into the BLACK ABYSS of her MARIANA TRENCH with a COLUMN OF UR HOT 'N HORRID JET STREAM
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on February 25, 2012, 05:58:31 AM
Sounds like google seppuku. Take two or three Japanese characters, put it on google image search, and see how many pages you can go without seeing something that made you wish you'd never played this game.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 29, 2012, 11:37:41 PM
myew   0x08 O5ã2 o5 žooqÝtp.
Stush   Whoah
Brentai   Who broke the bot?
Finnel   myew, ou a® h®®, in ¼h® dak, i ¾ill ¼®ll ou a@ou¼ ¼h® %un, no ®%²ap®, fo\ \ pi%on of ¼h® ¾old
myew   Finnel: No, i mean it. You can't take the pepsi challenge with amsterdam shit any ol' day of the old one has aliens in it.
Brentai   !tableflip ou a® h®®, in ¼h® dak, i ¾ill ¼®ll ou a@ou¼ ¼h® %un, no ®%²ap®, fo\ \ pi%on of ¼h® ¾old
Finnel   ( ╯‵口′)╯︵ no
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 02, 2012, 07:34:34 PM
Quote
"In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be "replaced" by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten." - George Lucas
Quote
"I am very concerned about our national heritage, and I am very concerned that the films that I watched when I was young and the films that I watched throughout my life are preserved, so that my children can see them." - George Lucas

First is from testimony to congress on colourization, second is listed on his IMDB bio.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on March 02, 2012, 08:42:43 PM
Where in the second quote does he mention films that he made

That his children have seen five million times already probably.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 04, 2012, 04:08:29 PM
[6:06:39 PM] Lottel: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-Ab3LtWIW_g/TEqwD7nWx0I/AAAAAAAAAIw/0MUS8ynG470/s1600/atlas-moth.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-Ab3LtWIW_g/TEqwD7nWx0I/AAAAAAAAAIw/0MUS8ynG470/s1600/atlas-moth.jpg)
[6:07:06 PM] Kaeam: that is pretty big moth
[6:09:13 PM] Lottel: Imagine the lightbulbs it flies around!
[6:09:57 PM] SoundWav3: You mean the stadium lights?
[6:11:10 PM] Lottel: That's a possibility!
[6:11:35 PM] Lottel: Or maybe, this moth isn't content with mere worldly bulbs and flies around the sun itself!
[6:13:04 PM] Kaeam: maybe this moth is the reincarnation of an Egyptian god
[6:13:08 PM] Kaeam: Moth-Ra, so to speak
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 13, 2012, 10:07:33 AM
io9 (http://io9.com/5892697/whats-classier-than-jrr-tolkien-telling-off-nazis-absolutely-nothing): Tolkien tries to get The Hobbit published in Germany; the Nazis respond by asking him to prove he's Aryan.

Quote
Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject - which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

It's not all gold (there's a cringeworthy "Some of my best friends are Jewish" line in a separate letter), but hey, Tolkien telling off Nazis while picking apart their linguistics.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on March 13, 2012, 09:57:45 PM
<Mr_Saturn> And shock. Santorum won in two of our dumbest states
<Sharkey> SANTORUM COMES FROM BEHIND IN THREE-WAY
<Mr_Saturn> Pfft
<+Esperath> ron paul doesn't exist and never will
<Sharkey> That's a relief.
<Sharkey> Because if you like Ron Paul I hate you. I hate you and you are living shit. Kill yourself. Kill yourself forever.
<Sharkey> ... is what I would say if I gave a fuck.
<+Ridley> that seems suspiciously like you give a fuck.
<Sharkey> That's just like something someone who gives a fuck about me giving a fuck would say.
<+Ridley> maybe I do give a fuck about you, Sharkey.  Maybe I give all the fucks about you.
<+Ridley> How does that make you feel?
<Sharkey> I never thought I'd say this... but I think I already have enough fucks.
<+Ridley> Shit.  Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with all these fucks?
<R^2> Don't give away all your fucks. Keep some for yourself.
<Sharkey> I'm like a frugal scottish duck just swimming around in a building I filled with all these fucks I've been hoarding up.
<Sharkey> All keeping those fucks out of circulation. Children starving for fucks, but I don't give one.
<R^2> Do you still treasure and idolize the first lucky fuck you earned?
<Sharkey> It's the secret of my fuck success. Fuckcess. Whatever.
<+Ridley> !8V
<+Marina> http://patito.pyoko.org/MCDUCK.jpg (http://patito.pyoko.org/MCDUCK.jpg) 8V
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on March 13, 2012, 10:33:46 PM
... I've actually always kind of wanted to do that with my penis.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 14, 2012, 12:37:56 PM
Quote from: DS~
Summer blockbuster 2012

I am imagining this giant prison being built around a mountain, thousands of guards patrolling around the walls at the base of it, spotlights shining down on the mountain 24/7 from the mile-high roof of the prison, every fifteen minutes the guards confirm by radio that the mountain is still safely locked up, the warden greets a new guard on his first shift and tells him to be careful, this mountain is a hardened killer.

{Flashback that shows the mountain being framed for multiple murders it didn't commit, it gets railroaded because it's only half white (above the snowline) and its judge is a racist}

There's an avalanche that knocks down on of the walls of the prison and all the guards open fire on the mountain, bullets are ricocheting off the rocks and hitting guards, one of the guards sees another go down and yells "look out, he's got a gun!" all the guards retreat to cover, but one is trapped by rubble from the avalanche, they call in a hostage negotiator who asks the mountains demands and it rumbles ominously.

The trapped guards pregnant wife shows up crying and begs the mountain to let him go but it acts like it doesn't hear. Meanwhile the warden is secretly planning to drop a nuclear bomb on the mountain to prevent it from escaping, the president is in air force one circling at a safe distance, waiting to release the launch codes.

{flashback that shows the president as a child playing on the mountain, later the president adopts the mountain as his son but keeps it secret from everybody because the world could never accept their love}

Suddenly the mountain erupts, streams of lave flow down its face and clouds of choking ash blanket the prison, the warden shouts into his radio "Mr. President we need to make a decision NOW!!!" Close up on the presidents face, a single tear glisten on his cheek as he sends the codes. The trapped guard breaks free from the rubble and everyone evacuates the parking lot at 90 miles an hour, shooting from the windows of their prison buses. They get to a safe distance away as a harrier breaks the sound barrier above their convoy, and the mountain is hidden by a mushroom cloud. As the cloud dissipates everyone waits, and then when the smoke clears the mountain is gone. The trapped guard kisses his wife tenderly, everyone cheers, The president puts a gun in his mouth, fade to black, gunshot
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on March 14, 2012, 01:14:45 PM
Please tell me the President is played by Shatner.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 14, 2012, 01:21:47 PM
Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels...his was the most...human.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on March 14, 2012, 06:26:41 PM
7] <+Ridley> no seriously everyone go see John Carter.
[07:23:13pm -7] <Lottel> Pay for my ticket and I will gladly do so.
[07:23:16pm -7] <+BongoBill> I was planning on it!
[07:26:31pm -7] <+Ridley> Lottel you can afford a ticket more easily than I, I may have to be relocating suddenly.
[07:26:47pm -7] <+Ridley> by which I mean dad's getting fired from his job and the only offer he's got may be six hours drive from here.
[07:27:01pm -7] <+Ridley> so if I want to keep MY job I have to be ready to move
[07:27:01pm -7] <Lottel> Then we are both doomed.
[07:27:09pm -7] <+Ridley> No, you can spend ten bucks on a movie
[07:27:54pm -7] <Lottel> I don't have ten bucks to spend. Don't get paid for another two weeks I think and I only make $2 a day in tips.
[07:28:27pm -7] <Lottel> Ok. That's not true. Today I made $5.
[07:30:09pm -7] <+Ridley> well
[07:30:11pm -7] <+Ridley> uh.
[07:30:42pm -7] <Lottel> I might be able to go to the movies. But that would take a large chunk out of my "Chicago fund"
[07:30:47pm -7] <Lottel> Which I keep forgetting about.
[07:31:54pm -7] <+Ridley> sell your boyd
[07:31:57pm -7] <+Ridley> body.
[07:32:01pm -7] <+Ridley> You can sell your boyd, too
[07:32:02pm -7] <+Ridley> if that would help
[07:32:14pm -7] <+Marina> Would Thad appreciate being sold?
[07:32:21pm -7] <+BongoBill> The only boyd we have is communal property.
[07:32:21pm -7] <+nyao> fuck them
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 14, 2012, 06:39:24 PM
Quote from: phodos
I keep watching this clonewars cartoon and whenever someone says "use the force" I keep thinking it's some pop culture joke until I remember I am sort of watching a star wars thing
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 15, 2012, 06:56:35 AM
...wait.  How'd I get to be Lottel's Boyd?

Is Brent going around betting me in poker games again?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on March 15, 2012, 11:57:34 AM
There are other Boyds in the sky man. Don't give me a run for my solipsism dollars.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on March 15, 2012, 08:31:00 PM
Quote
"Land snails will squirm around in your hand and try to eat you."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 18, 2012, 04:36:57 PM
Spin, July 1991 (http://home.online.no/~corneliu/spin.htm):

Quote from: Frank Zappa
I've called two political consultants in Washington and we're just gonna do a little feasibility study to see what it would take. The idea is to run as a nonpartisan candidate and urge other people around the country to not only run but resign from the Democratic and the Republican parties because the Democrats stand for nothing except "I wish I was a Republican" and the Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons. So that's really not much of a choice and it's nauseating to watch Democrats make speeches because they all wish they were Republicans.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 18, 2012, 05:17:59 PM
If only that interview felt dated.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 19, 2012, 07:40:16 AM
I've always wanted a Zappa for President T-shirt.

EDIT: It really is worth reading the whole thing, as much as anything for how eerily accurate it all still is.  (Holy fuck, he even talks about "the transference of goods and services from the cloud to your living room".)  MTV doesn't play videos anymore, but replace it with "American Idol" and you've still got a music industry that rewards pretty people over talented ones.  His comments about rap and punk are good ("Well I liked the attitude of punk, I didn't necessarily like it from a musical standpoint; it is anti-musical. The whole idea was we're gonna play shitty and fast and so what? The so what part I always like. But anybody who's against music I don't like. I don't like people who smash instruments. I don't like the abuse of things that could produce beautiful results.") but his comments about world affairs are really impressive.

The guy really was a genius and it's a shame we lost him.  I don't agree with him on everything (the flat tax thing is a sour note), but he'd seriously and only-slightly-ironically have my vote if he were alive and running today.  RIP.

EDIT 2: Just to add: the guy was way ahead of the curve on technology, too.  There's a chapter in The Real Frank Zappa Book where he talks about ideas he's pitched that were rejected; one of them is a music download service -- in the goddamn mid-1980's.  I don't think there's anyone at the RIAA smart enough to think "If only we'd listened to Frank Zappa", but honest to Christ he pitched them a plan that would have headed Napster off at the pass, and he did it in the days of 1200bps dialup.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on March 21, 2012, 05:03:31 AM
[08:03] <Elfin> I wonder what a Krogan dong looks like.
[08:04] <Sede> like a helmeted warrior
[08:05] <yeoz> there's fanart for that kind of thing
[08:05] <+Ridley> all ME aliens are fully sexually compatible with humans
[08:05] <+Ridley> they just didn't give us options with all of them yet
[08:08] <Sede> they're all sexually compatible, some we just haven't figured out how to penetrate..... yet
[08:09] <+Esperath> !haiku
[08:09] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: Cover your poopers! / fuck me like you fucked that horse / Onwards and Upwards!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 28, 2012, 08:32:01 AM
<Iteration> I discovered that instead of ironing or dry cleaning my work shirts, I can just toss them in the drier for a few minutes before leaving
<zephyr> How old are you?
<Baz> Wait, people actually iron their clothes? lol
<artificial> try dampening a cloth, and throwing it in there with the shirt
<QED> ^ this, but with a slice of ham
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on March 28, 2012, 09:07:01 AM
You need to throw in a damp washcloth or something similar for that to really work.

EDIT: I somehow did not read the entire quote.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on March 28, 2012, 12:06:40 PM
Or a slice of ham.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on March 28, 2012, 12:43:32 PM
A damp slice of ham.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 29, 2012, 11:29:58 PM
<@Friday> I think OoE is an amazing game
<@Friday> the level design is indeed ____________________________ but
<@Friday> apart from that I feel it is the strongest castlevania
<@Friday> er
<+Kayin> Yeah. I think they really wante dto do better with the level design too. It had to be money.
<@Friday> metroidvania
<@Friday> Aria is probably my second choice
<@Friday> SotN my third, then PoR, then DoS
<@patito> they wanted to do more than just a castle with PoR and OoE
<+Kayin> PoR also seemed like a 'ran out of money' game
<@patito> but I feel PoR did that better
<+Kayin> But it ran out of money less..... severely.
<@patito> and oddly enough the castle was the best level in OoE
<@Friday> hahah
<+Kayin> PoR was sorta just lacking in details.
<@Friday> Kayin remember when I ran the hottest girl ever and like
<@Friday> Shanoa made it to final four
<@Friday> wtf
<+Kayin> I'd love Shanoa if her characterization wasn't so bad.
<+Kayin> Well no I lvoe her anyways
<@Friday> I love Shanoa anyway
<@Friday> her sprite is so fucking amazing
<Elfin> Yes.
<@Friday> like it may be my all time favorite animated 2d sprite
<+Kayin> So instead I write Shanoa fanfiction in my imagination
<Elfin> Yes it is.
<+Kayin> and yeha, it's amazing.
<@Friday> but here is her character:
<@Friday> :|
<@Friday> :|
<@Friday> :|
<@Friday> :|
<@Friday> ...
<@Friday> :)
<@Friday> THE END
<@patito> her character is a perfect mirror of her game's level design
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on April 02, 2012, 10:16:53 AM
Vonnegut writes to a schoolboard head who burned Slaughterhouse-Five (http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/03/i-am-very-real.html):

Quote
I gather from what I read in the papers and hear on television that you imagine me, and some other writers, too, as being sort of ratlike people who enjoy making money from poisoning the minds of young people. I am in fact a large, strong person, fifty-one years old, who did a lot of farm work as a boy, who is good with tools. I have raised six children, three my own and three adopted. They have all turned out well. Two of them are farmers. I am a combat infantry veteran from World War II, and hold a Purple Heart. I have earned whatever I own by hard work. I have never been arrested or sued for anything. I am so much trusted with young people and by young people that I have served on the faculties of the University of Iowa, Harvard, and the City College of New York. Every year I receive at least a dozen invitations to be commencement speaker at colleges and high schools. My books are probably more widely used in schools than those of any other living American fiction writer.

If you were to bother to read my books, to behave as educated persons would, you would learn that they are not sexy, and do not argue in favor of wildness of any kind. They beg that people be kinder and more responsible than they often are. It is true that some of the characters speak coarsely. That is because people speak coarsely in real life. Especially soldiers and hardworking men speak coarsely, and even our most sheltered children know that. And we all know, too, that those words really don’t damage children much. They didn’t damage us when we were young. It was evil deeds and lying that hurt us.

After I have said all this, I am sure you are still ready to respond, in effect, “Yes, yes–but it still remains our right and our responsibility to decide what books our children are going to be made to read in our community.” This is surely so. But it is also true that if you exercise that right and fulfill that responsibility in an ignorant, harsh, un-American manner, then people are entitled to call you bad citizens and fools. Even your own children are entitled to call you that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 02, 2012, 09:31:09 PM
rainwarrior   Ridley: someone said something about your house earlier, trying to see if nyao has learned about your house yet.
rainwarrior   it hadn't at the time
Brentai   nyao, experience Ridley's house
Brentai   Also what about it?
Smiler      #markov ridley's house
rainwarrior   nyao is silent on the issue
nyao      Error: You must be registered to use this command. If you are already registered, you must either identify (using the identify command) or add a hostmask matching your current hostmask (using the "hostmask add" command).
rainwarrior   Brentai: Looks like a party was suggested, then a haiku, according to my logs.
Brentai   !haiku for Ridley's butt
Upthorn   Haiku Novicework: Mmm i want to try / the cherry blossoms drift down / And shut the door tight.
Brentai   I mean house! House!
myew      Then shut the door tight.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 05, 2012, 07:40:53 PM
<TedBelmont> Although of course there will always be jerks
<Renekton> It is the internet afterall
<Renekton> If there's no jerks
<Renekton> That's how you tell you've been disconnected
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 06, 2012, 07:44:19 PM
Nick: Usually the Medal of Honor is prehumorous
Nick: or whatever that word is
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Roger on April 07, 2012, 01:57:55 AM
<Brentai> I love Captain N though.  It's like a love letter to Nintendo that was actually written by a five year old.


<Caithness> my english dictionary doesn't have corn as a verb, but the japanese one does
<Lady> what does it mean to corn?
<Brentai> I assume it means the same thing as every other Japanese verb.
<Brentai> "To feel intense shame."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on April 07, 2012, 08:54:42 PM
<yeoz> (13) In that pool of forty million, there are nonetheless many intelligent and well-socialized blacks. (I’ll use IWSB as an ad hoc abbreviation.) You should consciously seek opportunities to make friends with IWSBs. In addition to the ordinary pleasures of friendship, you will gain an amulet against potentially career-destroying accusations of prejudice.
<Romosome> an AMULET
<Romosome> you will gain a fucking MAGICAL TOKEN to ABSOLVE YOU OF ACCUSATION BY OTHER PEOPLE
<Romosome> You could START by proceeding into the CHAMBER OF DARKIES, and assemble the silver monkey to proceed into the PIT OF RACISM
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 07, 2012, 09:34:12 PM
... the fuck, yeoz?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 07, 2012, 10:09:46 PM
I belive he was quoting this fine fellow. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2012/04/07/national-review-fires-john-derbyshire_n_1410273.html)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 12, 2012, 03:10:01 PM
<zaratoast> hey friday
<zaratoast> I'm in america
<zaratoast> hi
<@Friday> Zara omg
* zaratoast waves all the way over here
<@Silversong> They let you in again, Zara?
<@Friday> where in america is ZARA TUSTERARA
<zaratoast> Surprisingly.
<zaratoast> heh
<zaratoast> ironic friday
<zaratoast> cause I am in sandiego
<@Friday> D:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 13, 2012, 01:31:13 PM
<drethelin1> why is tsundere even a thing
<drethelin1> it's so dumb
<patito> tsundere is so dumb
<patito> it's not like I like it or anything
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 17, 2012, 05:39:58 PM
<Lee-Ham> I seem to be stuck in Zelda's Butt
<Lee-Ham> there's a weird-looking bush that's keeping me from getting further
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 19, 2012, 04:14:49 AM
<@Squizzle> After sex this morning, I made Tiffany watch the part of Star Wars where Vader and the stormtroopers burst into Leia's ship, to drive home a metaphor about ejaculation.
<Stush> Hahah
<@Squizzle> I made grunty-groany noises!
<CUI> by that logic, all ship boardings are rape
<Elfin> Squizzle, is Tiffany your wife?
<@Squizzle> Ask Romo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on April 21, 2012, 06:21:32 PM
<Mr_Saturn|Laptop> all the best D&D monsters have "Created by a crazy wizard" in their description
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on April 21, 2012, 07:26:18 PM
He's... not wrong.

Says the guy with the owlbear avatar.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 25, 2012, 05:38:58 PM
redshadows: Hi everyone. I'm sculpting some giant trilobites.
redshadows: Maybe you could use them in some games?
Battousai_the_Kibble_Slayer: Those are my mom's favorite post pre-cambrian creatures!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 26, 2012, 11:14:50 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/gtXgp.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on April 26, 2012, 05:31:08 PM
Quote from: Stephen Colbert
"With all due respect to the late Carl Sagan...fuck you, Carl Sagan."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on April 30, 2012, 10:03:05 AM
<Squizzle> Wait, you mean that it and maggot don't refer to different sexes of aggot?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 01, 2012, 07:49:54 PM
Quote from: Raw_Meat
Quote from: DS~
http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Ti-Lite-Aluminum-Handle/dp/B001DZNST6/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1335760823&sr=8-4 (http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Ti-Lite-Aluminum-Handle/dp/B001DZNST6/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1335760823&sr=8-4)

I am selling the 6 inch version of this knife. It's in excellent condition. I am asking 60 dollars. I am willing to trade it for magic cards.

It may or may not be legal to carry a 6-inch blade pocket knife where you are, buyer beware.

One time when I was in vegas, I stumbled out of my shitty hotel at like noon to get some air and a dude came by on a bike and threw a knife on the ground and asked if I wanted it.  I said I didn't have any money and he said "it's free" and road away on his bike.

This post feels a lot like that experience.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on May 03, 2012, 04:11:11 PM
<Romosome> WHO IS SPEAKING UP FOR THE MOTHERS WHO HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED INTO THINKING THEY SHOULD HAVE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN BODY
<Romosome> god that poor insane man
<Romosome> can you imagine what it's like to be him
<Romosome> how does he have breakfast without being attacked by imaginary cheerio conspiracies
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on May 07, 2012, 06:46:05 PM
<Romosome> that's what fist of the north star taught me
<Romosome> if people are bullies because they cannot put themselves in the place of the victim
<Romosome> you have to put them in that place yourself
<Romosome> with your fists
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 07, 2012, 11:15:00 PM
Quote
knocking on door
who could this be?
damn all my guns are still laying around from cleaning them
open the door a little bit
cops
get nervous, the guns aren't supposed to be laying around in Canada
I really should have put them away
"we got a 911 call about loud swearing, banging noises"
son of a bitch, my roommate has been playing Day of Defeat and getting smacking-mouse-on-desk-swearing rage for the past hour
kinda facepalm at self/roommate
nervous laugh, try to explain
they want to see roommate
I ask them to wait just a minute
start putting the guns in my room, have to make two trips with arms full
fetch roommate, tell him cops are at door
roommate explains to cops
we start explaining that we have guns out for cleaning
we start explaining that we both shoot competitively, we show PALs and black badges
they want to come in
I'm hoping I won't be shoved to floor and cuffed for having guns out
we say we'd rather not
911 call, they have right to come in to see if anyone is hurt inside
they walk in
my room is first up
there's 2 AR-15s, four pistols, a mossberg 590 in my room just laying there
that's not even the worst part
shit shit shit the ponies
full set of brushables and mini ponies, a large pinkestia
large celestia/twilight throw blanket pinned to wall like wallscroll
ponies everywhere
guns everywhere
they just like look at the room and leave
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on May 14, 2012, 11:40:59 AM
<Friday> On the other hand, fem Demon Hunter is my dream girl
<Friday> think about it
<Friday> what two character traits are most important in bed?
<Friday> Hatred and Discipline.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 15, 2012, 03:33:04 PM
Quote
Johnson explained that all he wanted to do was to insure Kennedy’s legacy on civil rights, space exploration, and other cherished programs of his short-lived Presidency. He said that he needed the kind of help the press had given Kennedy. Just before midnight, he wished us all a Happy New Year and made one final request. Leaning forward in his chair, he put his hand on my knee and said, "One more thing, boys. You may see me coming in and out of a few women’s bedrooms while I am in the White House, but just remember, that is none of your business."

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/letters/2012/04/23/120423mama_mail1 (http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/letters/2012/04/23/120423mama_mail1)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 25, 2012, 07:57:00 AM
Quote
Hey, I can't speak for any of you guys, but I sure wish my body made cash register noises whenever I laid a loaf.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: NexAdruin on May 26, 2012, 11:04:52 PM
[03:14:30] <kashan> Hmmm. Apparently I can't spell euphemism.
[03:14:36] <Lady> princess euphemia
[03:14:53] <NexAdruin> it's okay kashan words are an illusion anyway
[03:15:40] <kashan> You are just so adorable sometimes.
[03:16:06] <Lottel> Nex x Kashan OTP
[03:16:16] <myew> Chill the fuck am i doin'? Have i taken one too many thanksgivings lately.
[03:16:28] <NexAdruin> ♥
[03:16:52] <kashan> Nex will have to work for it. I'm tsunun... tsunnun... I'm a bitch.
[03:17:59] <Lady> tsun dere T_TT)
[03:17:59] <NexAdruin> It's okay kashan I will be persistent because I know that deep down there is a slightly less bitchy person just waiting to be let out of their cage.
[03:18:17] <Lottel> Tsun-tsun <3
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on May 27, 2012, 02:38:59 AM
[03:44]   Esperath   yay power is back up
[03:45]   Lottel   BEARS IN OVERALLS TURNED YOUR POWER BACK ON
[03:45]   Lottel   >____
[03:45]   Esperath   > INVENTORY
[03:45]   quairlzr   a - a pair of uncursed bear arms
[03:46]   Esperath   are they both right-handed
[03:46]   Lottel   -string -cardboard dinosaur -handcuffs -ladies underwear
[03:46]   quairlzr   they are ambidextrous
[03:46]   Esperath   > EQUIP RIGHT TWO BEAR ARMS
[03:47]   Lottel   BEARS DO NOT LIKE THIS. THEY SNAP THEIR OVERALLS
[03:47]   quairlzr   You try to equip your right two bear arms, but they immediately lean left and start protesting in favour of gun control.
[03:48]   Lottel   RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS JOKE.
[03:48]   Lottel   BEARS ARE PLEASED.
[03:48]   Lottel   >___
[03:49]   Esperath   > INVITE BEARS IN FOR "STRAWBEARY SHORTCAKE"
[03:49]   Esperath   (I'll provide the whipped topping)
[03:49]   Lottel   BEARS ARE NOW BEES
[03:49]   Lottel   >___
[03:50]   Esperath   > BEE MY VALENTINE
[03:51]   Lottel   UNSATISFACTORY. LOSE TWO BEE POINTS.
[03:51]   Lottel   >___
[03:51]   Esperath   > PASS AROUND A BEER
[03:51]   Lottel   YOU FEEL A SLIGHT BUZZ.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 27, 2012, 01:58:37 PM
This conversation out loud at work:

Seabass: [mumble]mumble] Kulkulkan
Faizan: Cool can?
Seabass: No, Kulkulcan
Me: Oh, the winged snake god thing? The south american one?
Seabass: Yeah, that's the one.
Faizan: Goolgool can?
Me: Google Khan!
Seabass: *laughs* Like Ghengis Khan?
Me: It's, his younger brother! The one with tape on his glasses.
Seabass: Looks like he's the one who got the last laugh though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 30, 2012, 09:22:00 PM
(10:26:54 PM) Mothra: Farewelllll......
(10:26:57 PM) Mothra left the room.
(10:27:15 PM) Kuddy: !manlyname
(10:27:16 PM) Aoko: BLAST SLAMCHEESE
(10:27:22 PM) StushGone: Off into the sunset
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on June 05, 2012, 04:55:07 PM
[19:56] <@Romosome> fuck
[19:56] <@Romosome> I missed the transit of venus
[19:56] <@Romosome> :|
[19:56] <+Ridley> That sucks.
[19:56] <+Ridley> I missed it too.
[20:09] <+Kazz> transit of venus?
[20:09] <+Kazz> you missed your period?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on June 08, 2012, 02:56:06 PM
<@Romosome> oh my god
<@Romosome> finally someone important said this shit
<@Romosome> http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F (http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F)
<@Romosome> THANK you
<Xerox> agolfist
<Lorbobam> class act
<Lorbobam> I used to think agnostic was a wishy-washy position, but then I realised that the atheist club has a way douchier membership
<myew> Then why don't you tell my boy here vince, where you got me in that position.
<@Romosome> I don't see "Agnostic" as "I can't decide" personally
<@Romosome> I see it as "I don't fucking care, stop talking to me"
<@Romosome> maybe a new term is in order
<Lorbobam> yeah that's a better way to look at it
<@Romosome> I'm not agnostic I'm Whogivesafuckist
<Lorbobam> apathetism
<@Romosome> yes
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 08, 2012, 03:22:51 PM
Har.  Perfect.

I tend to self-identify as agnostic or humanist mostly for precision-of-language purposes -- the absence of God is unprovable because you can't prove a negative; my lack of belief is not the same thing as a belief in a lack.  (Similarly, I don't have a problem with people believing in God, but I DO have a problem with people disbelieving science.)

But functionally my belief/unbelief system is identical to my friends' who self-identify as atheists.

Also, judging atheism by its douchiest, most evangelical practitioners makes about as much sense as, well, judging ANYTHING by its douchiest, most evangelical practitioners.

Tangentially: the moment I decided my now-fiancee was a keeper was when she excitedly sent me a photo of herself with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 08, 2012, 03:38:07 PM
Fundamentalists have done a pretty good job of redefining the term "agnostic" over the decades.  Originally it referred to the idea that maybe we shouldn't put so much stake in ideas that are not or cannot be backed up with empirical evidence, which is not the same as not believing in them.  Literally, it's an argument for separation of belief and behavior, which is a much, much more dangerous idea than simple atheism.

Modern usage of the word, especially in technical contexts, is often misinterpreted as not caring but is still more accurately "not letting it determine one's ultimate decisions".  Hardware-agnostic software, for example, will perform the same functions regardless of hardware, but may still use a profile of the available hardware for various purposes (usually optimizations).

tl;dr agnosticism is not a religion.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 10, 2012, 01:53:03 PM
Overheard at work:

"You know the movie where the guy wakes up and his house is full of guns he didn't buy. It stars that dude from Transformers... uh... whatzizname, Chez Buffoon."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Misha on June 10, 2012, 02:00:49 PM
<@Romosome> oh my god
<@Romosome> finally someone important said this shit
<@Romosome> http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F (http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F)
<@Romosome> THANK you
<Xerox> agolfist
<Lorbobam> class act
<Lorbobam> I used to think agnostic was a wishy-washy position, but then I realised that the atheist club has a way douchier membership
<myew> Then why don't you tell my boy here vince, where you got me in that position.
<@Romosome> I don't see "Agnostic" as "I can't decide" personally
<@Romosome> I see it as "I don't fucking care, stop talking to me"
<@Romosome> maybe a new term is in order
<Lorbobam> yeah that's a better way to look at it
<@Romosome> I'm not agnostic I'm Whogivesafuckist
<Lorbobam> apathetism
<@Romosome> yes

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/282350_378329902233088_957732481_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on June 10, 2012, 03:15:23 PM
I can't gather around and talk about how much everybody in the room doesn't see the point of My Little Pony

oh wait

I can
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 10, 2012, 08:05:14 PM
(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/282350_378329902233088_957732481_n.jpg)

My biggest fucking problem with the bit in the middle is that it is clearly written by someone who has no fucking idea who Neil DeGrasse Tyson is.

Could you please explain to whoever this Callum person is that NGT IS in fact one of the most active people in the goddamn country at trying to get people interested in science, and in speaking out against the pernicious influence of superstition in setting public policy?  And that, besides his Nova ScienceNow hosting duties, he is slated to host the upcoming Cosmos revival?

And then punch him in the stomach for me and explain what fucking Wikipedia is.

This is really a pretty good example of the type of people who give atheists a bad name: the sort of touchy little shit who jumps all over NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON, of all people, and pisses and moans about how he just doesn't understand, instead of maybe spending a minute (a) doing a bit of research and (b) determining the proper direction to point his outrage in.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on June 10, 2012, 08:10:18 PM
<@Romosome> oh my god
<@Romosome> finally someone important said this shit
<@Romosome> http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F (http://imgur.com/gallery/ezU5F)
<@Romosome> THANK you
<Xerox> agolfist
<Lorbobam> class act
<Lorbobam> I used to think agnostic was a wishy-washy position, but then I realised that the atheist club has a way douchier membership
<myew> Then why don't you tell my boy here vince, where you got me in that position.
<@Romosome> I don't see "Agnostic" as "I can't decide" personally
<@Romosome> I see it as "I don't fucking care, stop talking to me"
<@Romosome> maybe a new term is in order
<Lorbobam> yeah that's a better way to look at it
<@Romosome> I'm not agnostic I'm Whogivesafuckist
<Lorbobam> apathetism
<@Romosome> yes

Fun fact: I have been referring to myself as an apathetic atheist for something like five years now. I've never mentioned it here before because... well... fuck it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 11, 2012, 08:36:21 AM

touchy little shit who jumps all over NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON

Thad, I like NGT too. But he's not some kind of perfect saint or super-sage. He doesn't have to be right about everything to say stuff that's important or true, and he's not right if he means to imply that groups meant to support a discriminated against minority are inherently wrong or pointless. I assume (because I like him) that he's just explaining why he does not work with local "atheist activist" groups, which in New York seem to be more interested in PETA-style shock-jockeying than protecting people from protecting people from discrimination.

Speaking of PETA, MovieBob really hates them and explains why in this Big Picture episode (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/4988-Skin-Game). I don't care enough about PETA to fact check any of the scandals he brings up. I didn't have positive opinions of them to start, so I assume the the work NGT did with them was a risque nude shoot.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 11, 2012, 10:09:43 AM
Speaking of PETA, MovieBob really hates them and explains why in this Big Picture episode (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/4988-Skin-Game).

a broken clock is right twice a day
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 11, 2012, 10:43:20 AM
Tyson kind of took his message off-point with that golf analogy, and the response was way-too-unpolitely calling him out for it.  Basically the problems are:

1. Not believing in golf is not the same as not playing golf.
2. If people who didn't play golf were being targeted by golfers for harrasment, it would be inappropriate to say the distinction doesn't exist.

None of that shit has anything to do with what Tyson actually believes or was trying to say, but he fucked that argument up and needs to reword it, basically.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 11, 2012, 10:44:35 AM
Man... I thought that guy was actually agreeing with Tyson.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 11, 2012, 08:14:07 PM
Thad, I like NGT too. But he's not some kind of perfect saint or super-sage. He doesn't have to be right about everything to say stuff that's important or true, and he's not right if he means to imply that groups meant to support a discriminated against minority are inherently wrong or pointless.

:strawman:

Tyson kind of took his message off-point with that golf analogy, and the response was way-too-unpolitely calling him out for it.  Basically the problems are:

1. Not believing in golf is not the same as not playing golf.
2. If people who didn't play golf were being targeted by golfers for harrasment, it would be inappropriate to say the distinction doesn't exist.

None of that shit has anything to do with what Tyson actually believes or was trying to say, but he fucked that argument up and needs to reword it, basically.

That depends entirely on the actual context of his remarks.  To the Googlemobile!

Oh hey, here's a transcript (http://bigthink.com/ideas/43539).  Going to quote it in its entirety and hope the fine folks at thinknow don't think that's out of line.

Quote
Neil deGrasse Tyson: I'm often asked – and occasionally in an accusatory way – “Are you atheist?”  And it’s like, you know, the only “ist” I am is a scientist, all right?  I don’t associate with movements.  I'm not an “ism.”  I just  - I think for myself.  The moment when someone attaches to a philosophy or a movement, then they assign all the baggage and all the rest of the philosophy that goes with it to you, and when you want to have a conversation they will assert that they already know everything important there is to know about you because of that association.  And that’s not the way to have a conversation.  I'm sorry.  It’s not.  I’d rather we explore each other’s ideas in real time rather than assign a label to it and assert, you know, what’s going to happen in advance.

So what people are really after is, what is my stance on religion or spirituality or God?  And I would say, if I find a word that came closest it would be agnostic.  Agnostic – the word dates from the 19th century – Huxley – to refer to someone who doesn’t know but hasn’t yet really seen evidence for it but is prepared to embrace the evidence if it’s there but if it’s not won’t be forced to have to think something that is not otherwise supported.

There are many atheists who say, “Well, all agnostics are atheists.”  Okay.  I'm constantly claimed by atheists.  I find this intriguing.  In fact, on my Wiki page – I didn’t create the Wiki page, others did, and I'm flattered that people cared enough about my life to assemble it – and it said, “Neil deGrasse is an atheist.”  I said, “Well that’s not really true.”  I said, “Neil deGrasse is an agnostic.”  I went back a week later.  It said, “Neil deGrasse is an atheist.” – again within a week – and I said, “What’s up with that?” and I said, “I have to word it a little differently.”  So I said, okay, “Neil deGrasse, widely claimed by atheists, is actually an agnostic.”

And some will say, well, that’s – "You’re not being fair to the fact that they’re actually the same thing."  No, they’re not the same thing, and I'll tell you why.  Atheists I know who proudly wear the badge are active atheists.  They’re like in your face atheist and they want to change policies and they’re having debates.  I don’t have the time, the interest, the energy to do any of that.  I'm a scientist.  I'm an educator.  My goal is to get people thinking straight in the first place, just get you to be curious about the natural world.  That’s what I'm about.  I'm not about any of the rest of this. 

And it’s odd that the word atheist even exists.  I don’t play golf.  Is there a word for non-golf players?  Do non-golf players gather and strategize?  Do non-skiers have a word and come together and talk about the fact that they don’t ski?  I don’t—I can’t do that.  I can’t gather around and talk about how much everybody in the room doesn’t believe in God.  I just don’t—I don’t have the energy for that, and so I . . . Agnostic separates me from the conduct of atheists whether or not there is strong overlap between the two categories, and at the end of the day I’d rather not be any category at all.

I stand by my assertion that taking a laser-focus on a single analogy out of the general context of his words misses his point entirely.

Particularly if people use it as a way to jump his shit and treat him as The Enemy when in fact he's pretty much the best fucking friend politically-active atheists HAVE.

I mean, I love Dawkins.  He's a fantastic biologist, a fantastic writer, and a charming and witty guy.  He's also the worst fucking ambassador atheists could ask for (now that Hitchens is dead).

And, you know, part of that is that Dawkins is from England, where agnosticism is practically the state religion.  It's okay to publish a book called The God Delusion there, not just because that is an awesome title but because it's not going to offend the general population into automatically hating it and you without bothering to read a single sentence of it.

Tyson, by contrast, is not negative, and doesn't emphasize the negative, the things he doesn't believe in.  It's not "I don't believe in God", it's "I love science."

Look, I can relate to being smug and condescending and pointing out when I think people who don't agree with me are stupid -- I just called Shinra a twat for comparing muscles to tits not ten minutes ago.

But I'm not trying to win Shinra over, and I sure as hell won't by talking to him like that.

Tyson's the guy who, instead of tearing belief systems down, is building empiricism up.  (Not to say that Dawkins doesn't build empiricism up, but he kinda does both.)  He shares the common goal of wanting to destroy an entrenched power structure based on superstition and nonsense (in fact, if you watch him on Bill Maher or in any of his other political appearances he really drops the cool exterior and shows how upset he is at the current political climate); it's just that his strategy is to do everything in his power to make the general populace more knowledgeable.

That's the big picture.  Jumping all the fuck over TWO SENTENCES out-of-context is about as small-picture as it gets.  And Not Helping.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 11, 2012, 08:51:27 PM
Okay, well, take that entire paragraph and post it as an image macro on reddit, and then we'll talk.  Until then, the quote that keeps getting repeated is the context, and you should be screaming at the person who took (pieces of) it out in the first place.  Tyson's detractors aren't the ones not helping Tyson.

EDIT: Wait a sec...

he's pretty much the best fucking friend politically-active atheists HAVE.

Okay, in this context, does "atheist" mean "non-theist" or "nonthe-ist"?  Because this distinction is important.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 11, 2012, 09:04:01 PM
I stand by my assertion that taking a laser-focus on a single analogy out of the general context of his words misses his point entirely.
I'm not sure you actually asserted this. Mostly, it seemed like you were asserting this:
This is really a pretty good example of the type of people who give atheists a bad name
Which is ironic given that you're calling the dude a "touchy little shit" while describing violence against him (yeah, I have weird, internally inconsistent rules for what discussions of violence are unpleasant). NGT does not derive authority from any source that demands he be inerrant. You can still like and support NGT on the whole and not agree with all of his claims, career choices, or political strategies.
I'm not sure the objections raised by "Callum" (except maybe the holy war one) have been overstated. Nor do I think NGT is going to disagree with those sentiments or repeating them again.
We also probably shouldn't be forwarding an inaccurate link between atheism, empiricism and superstition. Atheism isn't a promoter of empiricism nor an obstacle to superstition. That NGT promotes empiricism doesn't necessarily mean he's in any way a friend to atheists, especially the "worst kind" of atheists who you seem to take special offense to.

As antagonistic as Dawkins is, altogether too many proponents of superstition are bluster-filled bullies like Bill O'Rielly. And unfortunately, sometimes the best strategy really is to mercilessly demolish someone. No one is going to sway O'Rielly from his horrible opinions.

I have come to believe that part of Dawkin's mission is just to get people talking about atheism and its claims. Dawkins isn't interested in explaining careful reasoning on TV, that's what his book is for. He's interesting in kicking up enough shit that people talk about it and at least buy his book. The assumption here, of course, is that upon inspection people will prefer or tend to "religious" sentiments that make fewer unsubstantiated (or provably false) claims.

Maybe we should split into a thread called "Aperture Activism" or something.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 12, 2012, 09:35:31 AM
Okay, well, take that entire paragraph and post it as an image macro on reddit, and then we'll talk.  Until then, the quote that keeps getting repeated is the context, and you should be screaming at the person who took (pieces of) it out in the first place.

I'm not exempting whoever made the image macro.

But if we're to assign blame, it goes something like this:

Tyson -> Should reasonably be aware that absolutely anything he says will be taken out of context and turned into an Internet meme.

Guy who made the macro -> Should reasonably be aware that his out-of-context quote will be seen by idiots who have no idea who Dr. Tyson is, who will then say stupid shit based on the limited context provided to them.

Guy who said the stupid shit -> Should have fucking hit Ctrl-K and typed "neil degrasse tyson" into the search box BEFORE going off on some stupid half-cocked rant about two sentences out of his entire career.

I'll grant there's blame to go around.  But, characteristically, I am inclined to set most of it at the feet of the dipstick who couldn't be arsed to spend five minutes reading a Wikipedia article before publicly and angrily asserting his ignorance.

Tyson's detractors aren't the ones not helping Tyson.

Of course they fucking are.  In what way are they helping?

he's pretty much the best fucking friend politically-active atheists HAVE.

Okay, in this context, does "atheist" mean "non-theist" or "nonthe-ist"?  Because this distinction is important.

I think the phrase "politically-active" implies people who are pretty vocal in the "God does not exist" camp; that's what I meant to imply, anyway.  But I'm not sure that it matters; I think what I said applies to both groups.  NGT is out there, exerting all the influence he can, to fight the influence of religious dogma on public policy.  That's good for people who disbelieve the existence of God as well as people who don't believe in the existence of God, as well as plenty of other demographics who believe in God but do not subscribe to the particular brand of narrow Christianity that is responsible for the various negative types of public policy we're talking about.

I stand by my assertion that taking a laser-focus on a single analogy out of the general context of his words misses his point entirely.
I'm not sure you actually asserted this.

I believe that I did:

Could you please explain to whoever this Callum person is that NGT IS in fact one of the most active people in the goddamn country at trying to get people interested in science, and in speaking out against the pernicious influence of superstition in setting public policy?  And that, besides his Nova ScienceNow hosting duties, he is slated to host the upcoming Cosmos revival?

And then punch him in the stomach for me and explain what fucking Wikipedia is.

This is really a pretty good example of the type of people who give atheists a bad name: the sort of touchy little shit who jumps all over NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON, of all people, and pisses and moans about how he just doesn't understand, instead of maybe spending a minute (a) doing a bit of research and (b) determining the proper direction to point his outrage in.

Mostly, it seemed like you were asserting this:
This is really a pretty good example of the type of people who give atheists a bad name
Which is ironic given that you're calling the dude a "touchy little shit" while describing violence against him (yeah, I have weird, internally inconsistent rules for what discussions of violence are unpleasant).

No, what's ironic is that you're taking two hyperbolic sentences out of my post and missing the rest of it.

Yes, there's a line about punching somebody in the stomach -- I hope it was clear that I am not ACTUALLY advocating punching anyone in the stomach.

But no, my point as a whole was that somebody went off half-cocked about somebody he clearly doesn't know anything about, and I think that's fairly clear from reading my post in its entirety.

NGT does not derive authority from any source that demands he be inerrant. You can still like and support NGT on the whole and not agree with all of his claims, career choices, or political strategies.

Covered in PM.  Of course I agree with this; I'd be an idiot not to.

My point is not some ridiculous assertion that NGT, or anyone else, is infallible.  My point, once again, is that anyone who believes NGT does not actually understand the pernicious influence that religious organizations have in determining public policy is ignorant, and his time would be better served becoming less ignorant than proudly and vocally demonstrating his ignorance.

I'm not sure the objections raised by "Callum" (except maybe the holy war one) have been overstated. Nor do I think NGT is going to disagree with those sentiments or repeating them again.

Well, and that's my point: they're on the same damn side and Callum should have held his damn horses.

We also probably shouldn't be forwarding an inaccurate link between atheism, empiricism and superstition. Atheism isn't a promoter of empiricism nor an obstacle to superstition. That NGT promotes empiricism doesn't necessarily mean he's in any way a friend to atheists, especially the "worst kind" of atheists who you seem to take special offense to.

Technically true and an interesting point.  Which may indeed be part of why Tyson drew the distinction he drew -- empiricists and atheists may have overlap (as do atheists and agnostics), but they're not the same thing.

As antagonistic as Dawkins is, altogether too many proponents of superstition are bluster-filled bullies like Bill O'Rielly. And unfortunately, sometimes the best strategy really is to mercilessly demolish someone. No one is going to sway O'Rielly from his horrible opinions.

Well, yes, since we're talking about people who preach to the choir, I don't think you'll find a bigger proponent of the "Sometimes people can't be reasoned with and someone just needs to point out that they're dumbasses" school than myself.

Maybe we should split into a thread called "Aperture Activism" or something.

I'd definitely say a threadsplit's in order; I'll see about getting to it later if nobody else does first.  My break's about over and I'm still playing catchup.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on June 12, 2012, 12:00:26 PM
Perhaps Mr. Callum was not responding to Tyson, but to someone who was using Tyson's quote to defend religion's influence on public policy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 12, 2012, 12:23:14 PM
Perhaps Mr. Callum was not responding to Tyson, but to someone who was using Tyson's quote to defend religion's influence on public policy.
I'm not interested in braving a facebook thread to determine if this is the case either.

... and that's my point: they're on the same damn side and Callum should have held his damn horses.

I guess I'm also a little confused by this. We know that the internet is populated by assholes, sure. But since they're on the same side and Callum is saying stuff that we'd assume NGT at least agrees with the sentiment of, why assume that he's making a criticism of NGT's comment rather than his own additions?

If we're going to assume (altogether too generously, I admit) that he did read up on NGT and where that quote was mined from, he'd know that NGT probably wants to distance himself from that style of combative comment.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 12, 2012, 01:08:42 PM
Perhaps Mr. Callum was not responding to Tyson, but to someone who was using Tyson's quote to defend religion's influence on public policy.

I s'pose that's a fair point -- and that, ironically, I'm making inferences based on a limited context rather than the full conversation.

That said, the difference is that I can't just quickly pull up a search engine and find the rest of the conversation to see the full context.  I don't have a Facebook account and, as Classic notes, even if I did this would take a bit of digging through a presumably longer thread.

If I'm wrong and he really WAS objecting to someone else's incorrect, out-of-context use of the Tyson quote, then yes Callum's off the hook and you can assume my ire is instead directed at whoever IS misrepresenting the actual meaning of Tyson's argument.

I guess I'm also a little confused by this. We know that the internet is populated by assholes, sure. But since they're on the same side and Callum is saying stuff that we'd assume NGT at least agrees with the sentiment of, why assume that he's making a criticism of NGT's comment rather than his own additions?

Well mainly it's that he seems more interested in snarking Tyson's two-sentence analogy than saying anything that's actually constructive.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 12, 2012, 02:11:08 PM
Am I the only one who keeps reading NGT as "Neon Genesis Tyson"?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on June 12, 2012, 02:17:10 PM
No. No you are not.

He seems more interested in snarking Tyson's two-sentence analogy than saying anything that's actually constructive.

I'm not sure which came first, but I heard a similar sports analogy without this context. So, I didn't see it as snarking the analogy so much as repeating the original purpose of the analogy (which itself is snarky), to defend the existence of atheist/agnostic groups from assertions of purposelessness from the religious that occasionally echo NGT's comment. (Also a good one, "Doesn't having groups to disprove God mean you believe in God?")

Seriously, the only reasons I didn't post exactly what Callum did was because I didn't want to have my disappointment at a possible disagreement of policy with NGT color a post to make it sound like I felt NGT had some kind of obligation to agree with me, and because I couldn't remember the litany of offenses verbatim.
I realize as I type that there's a third reason: Amongst people who have spent altogether too long reading the arguments and counterarguments for theism v. atheism (some of my kin visit a MegaChurch) it's a pretty tired analogy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 12, 2012, 02:31:49 PM
Am I the only one who keeps reading NGT as "Neon Genesis Tyson"?

...yeah, why are we saying "NGT", anyway?  It's "NDT".  Or "NdGT"?  I'm not sure how this works.

I'm not sure which came first, but I heard a similar sports analogy without this context. So, I didn't see it as snarking the analogy so much as repeating the original purpose of the analogy (which itself is snarky), to defend the existence of atheist/agnostic groups from assertions of purposelessness from the religious that occasionally echo NGT's comment. (Also a good one, "Doesn't having groups to disprove God mean you believe in God?")

Well, you can't really disprove the existence of God because you can't prove a negative.

And I continue to see the point along these lines: atheists getting together and talking about being atheists simply for its own sake is kinda weird; atheists getting together and talking about concrete policy is indistinguishable from empiricists getting together and talking about concrete policy.  Or should be.

There's a tangent here, too, about Freedom From Religion and similar groups.  I believe, absolutely, that we need to get fundamentalist nonsense out of public policy; I also believe that suing over the use of "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance is about the stupidest fucking place possible to put your energy toward that endeavor.  Hence the PETA comparison, maybe.

(Tangentially, I don't think "under God" should be in the Pledge, not because I'm worried it violates the Establishment Clause but because it is a McCarthy-era addition that wasn't IN the original Pledge.

And I think the Pledge is itself a creepy-as-fuck exercise in conformity and it gave me the heebie-jeebies even as a child -- but again, if you're pushing for social change it ranks near the bottom in terms of what actual priorities should be.)

Seriously, the only reasons I didn't post exactly what Callum did was because I didn't want to have my disappointment at a possible disagreement of policy with NGT color a post to make it sound like I felt NGT had some kind of obligation to agree with me, and because I couldn't remember the litany of offenses verbatim.

But I see no disagreement of policy whatsoever.

I realize as I type that there's a third reason: Amongst people who have spent altogether too long reading the arguments and counterarguments for theism v. atheism (some of my kin visit a MegaChurch) it's a pretty tired analogy.

Fair enough.  First time I've heard it, and presumably other people in the conversation too since they seemed pretty pleased with it, but if it's old hat to you then I can see that being annoying.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 12, 2012, 02:55:30 PM
Two off-topics:
1. Leonardo da Vinci signed his works "LV".  I know he wasn't speaking English but I still assume that means the standard is to drop particles from names when initializing.

2. I actually really like the American Pledge of Allegiance.  Unlike most other nations it makes no mention of loyalty, servitude, or an agreement that the government is an unchallengable authority.  All you pledge is allegiance.  You are an ally of the flag, and it's inherently a two-way street.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 12, 2012, 02:58:28 PM
Wait... that would be alliance.

Fuck.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on June 12, 2012, 03:38:27 PM
Allegiance implies a liege, a term which has its origins in feudalism, IIRC.

Technically the Canadian head of state is the frikkin' Queen of England and I still never had to pledge allegiance to anyone. The US is maximum creepo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 12, 2012, 05:42:34 PM
Clearly it is time for a Glorious Loyalty Oath Campaign.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 12, 2012, 05:57:35 PM
Quote
Today I walked around an abandoned and half-ruined semenary taking photos, and had a slightly awkward moment when I came across a nude model having her photo taken on the altar thingy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on June 12, 2012, 06:19:23 PM
Did that person mean seminary or cemetery? Either way, ha.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on June 16, 2012, 03:20:24 PM
[18:32] <R^2> When I have children the first word I will teach them is "brains"
[18:32] <R^2> For a while I will have an adorable little toddlerzombie stomping around my house.
[18:36] <Caithness> is that really how it works?
[18:36] <Caithness> children aren't like birds
[18:36] <Doomykins> Yeah! Birds are smarter.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on June 16, 2012, 11:42:20 PM
[02:58] <Stush> Titty Tit Nipple
[02:58] <Elfin> titty tit nipple
[02:58] <Stush> Boob Breast
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 19, 2012, 12:04:25 PM
Are kids forced to say the Pledge? I mean like if a Kid very obviously isn't saying it and the teacher notices and goes full retard with punishment and the kid's parents decide to cash in on 15 minutes of fame and tell the media does it make national news and the supreme court has to make a ruling or something?

Has this actually come up before?

I looked around but I can't find a definitive answer: Are kids legally obligated to say the pledge? Or can they not stand, not give a fuck, if they choose?

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on June 19, 2012, 01:09:48 PM
This has been challenged before, but it depends on state law. As far as I know, in most cases, recitation of the Pledge is explicitly not compulsory. Sometimes schools try to require it anyway, and usually get away with it, often 'cause nobody involved knows the legal status of the matter.

Most legal challenges to it have been based on the inclusion of the "under God" clause, but Wikipedia lists two successful challenges to compulsory recitation: in 2006's Frazier vs. Alexandre, a 1942 Florida law permitting compulsory recitation was ruled unconstitutional; and in Maryland in 2009, a teacher was reprimanded for requiring recitation when both state law and school policy affirm the right to refuse to say it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on June 19, 2012, 01:50:03 PM
Well, hey, that's unusually sensible. I have officially upgraded the US to not-quite-maximum creepo. Someone notify your president, I'm busy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 21, 2012, 01:59:01 PM
<Lee-Ham> FF7 was a lot more experimental in many ways than 6
<Roger> And worse translated.
<maou> sic transit woolsey
<@Friday> Yeah, like when Cloud gets gang raped by a bunch of burly muscle men
<Lee-Ham> exactly
<maou> the debug/cut data for that whole sequence is fucking weird
<@Friday> How many other games have your main hero dressing up as a girl
<Lee-Ham> yeah there was a ton more stuff in the Honey Bee that ended up getting cut
<maou> like that you could get Cloud a pair of Marlene's panties at some point
<@Romosome> wh
<@Romosome> what?
<@Friday> hahahahaha
<@Romosome> isn't marlene like
<@Romosome> the little girl
<@Friday> maou are you serious
<@Romosome> they wouldn't fit!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 22, 2012, 12:56:56 AM
 <+Esperath> They can suffer from a variety of health issues, including overheating, obesity, pharyngeal reflex and two fatal conditions which are necrotizing meningoencephalitis and hemivertebrae.
[02:11:27am -7] <+Esperath> necrotizing meningoencephalitis is like the most evil sounding disease
[02:11:32am -7] <@Romosome> yes seriously what the fuck
[02:11:34am -7] <@Romosome> that's not real
[02:11:35am -7] <@Romosome> they just
[02:11:40am -7] <@Romosome> crammed together three other lethal diseases
[02:12:00am -7] <@Friday> necrotizing meningoencezergrush
[02:12:07am -7] <@Romosome> necrotizing meningoencephalococcus carcinokemia rape
[02:13:32am -7] <+Esperath> necrotizing meningoencephalococcus carcinokemia rape holocaust agent orange
[02:13:47am -7] <+Utsuho> necrotizing meningoencephalococcus carcinokemia rape culture holocaust agent orange
[02:13:59am -7] <@Friday> necrotizing meningoencephalococcus carcinokemia rape culture holocaust agent orange air bud
[02:14:13am -7] <+Utsuho> necrotizing meningoencephalococcus carcinokemia rape culture holocaust agent orange air buds vs Werewolves
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 27, 2012, 12:20:45 PM
Quote
It may just be an urban legend, but there's a story going around about people in Manhattan having someone cover their eyes and say "guess who?" And when they turn around it's Bill Murray.

He says "no one will ever believe you" and walks away.

When confronted with this story in a GQ article, he didn't confirm the story is true. But in true Murray fashion, he didn't deny it either.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 27, 2012, 12:39:49 PM
There's been a number of reports of Bill Murray doing things like that. I can't find the one I want to link here, when he showed up unannounced to a random stranger's birthday party and hung around for a few hours. It had pictures, too.

Either he's gone senile or he is hit that same point George Takei has, where you spend the twilight years of your life being the biggest goof-off you couldn't be earlier because everyone had cameras on you 24/7
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on June 27, 2012, 12:43:00 PM
He did once do karaoke with Christopher Hastings, though.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on June 27, 2012, 12:43:08 PM
Just another reason Why Bill Murray is the World's Greatest Mythological Figure (http://www.cracked.com/article_19035_why-bill-murray-worlds-greatest-mythological-figure.html)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on June 27, 2012, 01:43:05 PM
Maybe he'd never done it until someone asked if he'd done it, at which point he realized what a fantastic idea it was and started.

I'd read about him crashing parties and telling the host "No one will ever believe you" before leaving, so I believe it.

Maybe I'll invite him to my wedding.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 27, 2012, 01:43:49 PM
Maybe he does it just because he can.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 27, 2012, 04:12:56 PM
I get the feeling that Bill Murray wakes up every morning and is legitimately surprised to find out that the previous day actually happened.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 30, 2012, 12:15:42 PM
This is funny even if you've never read any Lovecraft books.

Quote
In Ulthar, no man may kill a cat. In Utah, no man may marry a cat. These rules were made because of the ramifications of them happening before.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on June 30, 2012, 07:56:22 PM
<TedBelmont> Hahaha
<TedBelmont> I just caught a fly
<TedBelmont> WITH MY BARE HAND
<TedBelmont> I AM THE CHOSEN ONE
<R^2> I once stabbed a fly to death with a pencil eraser.
<TedBelmont> R^2, that explains your terrible luck!
<TedBelmont> The fly's family put a curse on you.
 R^2 tries to find some flaw in this logic
 R^2 cannot
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 30, 2012, 10:28:08 PM
There's a trick to killing flies with your hands. You just clap above them and they will fly into it. Of course, then you have smashed fly all over your hands.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 01, 2012, 12:20:11 AM
<notKazz> People say that multiplayer videogaming is a sport right
<notKazz> well can Buddy do it?
<notKazz> if not, i'd argue that no it is not a sport
<+Esperath> air bud challenges korea to starcraft
<+Esperath> LOOK AT THAT APM
<+Esperath> HOLY SHIT
<@DrStinkle> Air Bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
<Tefari> Major League Gaming Bud
<@patito> air bud has the uncanny ability to come back from the death after the third day
<+Esperath> he defeates the entire nation of korea
<+Esperath> at starcraft
<@Romosome> Air Bud flies to korea for the nationals and then is eaten

<@patito> air bud gets lost in the woods and only his videocamera is found in blair bud

<+BongoBill> Buddy discovers that he has the uncanny ability to perform simple geometry in Square Bud

<+Esperath> Air Bud needs to raise money to keep a local little league team in business, so he takes up a job as a pole dancer in Bare Bud

<SimonTheDigger> Air Bud discovers that he goes for millions of dollars on the secondary market in Rare Bud

<Joxam> Air bud learns that he has a twin in Spare Bud

<Lottel> Buddy tries to win his freedom in a contest of wills in Stare Bud
<+Esperath> I ALREADY DID STARE
<+Esperath> DAMNIT LOTTEL
<Lottel> SHIT
<Lottel> SHIT
<Lottel> SHIT
<Lottel> SHIT
<+BongoBill> YOU RUINED IT
<+BongoBill> YOU FUCKING RUINED IT
<Lottel> BUDDY LOSES ALL HIS HAIR IN NAIR BUD
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on July 10, 2012, 12:13:58 PM
<riht> when did square's art/design go to shit
<@norn> when hardware got good enough to render their concept art more faithfully than with simple sprites
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on July 10, 2012, 11:06:13 PM
Quote from: http://www.drdobbs.com/architecture-and-design/interview-with-alan-kay/240003442?pgno=4
A lot of people go into computing just because they are uncomfortable with other people. So it is no mean task to put together five different kinds of Asperger's syndrome and get them to cooperate.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: NexAdruin on July 14, 2012, 01:46:23 AM
[06:02:16] <NexAdruin> I am passing out Binding of Isaacs
[06:02:22] <NexAdruin> I have 2 or 3 left
[06:02:38] <NexAdruin> does anyone want one that doesn't already have it
[06:03:12] <Elfin> Want one what?
[06:03:18] <NexAdruin> a Binding of Isaac
[06:03:19] <NexAdruin> on steam
[06:03:31] <Elfin> Does it work on Mac?
[06:03:31] <nyao> BURN HIM
[06:03:47] <NexAdruin> yeah
[06:03:56] <Elfin> Then sure.
[06:03:59] <NexAdruin> no nyao we do not burn our Apple-using brethren
[06:04:13] <NexAdruin> alright Elfin what's your steam name
[06:04:24] <Elfin> What's a Steam name.
[06:04:35] <NexAdruin> what.
[06:04:36] <Lottel> BURN HIM
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on July 18, 2012, 07:36:58 PM
<Phat>: i wanna go to people's funerals and when people are throwing roses in the coffin just drop a dragonball z dvd in there
<Phat> "he loved this movie"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 20, 2012, 04:22:14 PM
<zara2> I dated a girl over 6' that liked 4" heels
<zara2> she moved primarily by stumbling
<@Friday> i don't like heels because
<@Friday> yeah
<@Friday> you can't fucking move
<+Esperath> I once dated a girl over 6" that liked 4' heels
<@Friday> I once dated a girl over 6" that liked air bud
<+Esperath> they all do at that size
<Lee-Ham> when they're that tall, Air Bud is the only one who can jump high enough to get at the peanut butter
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 20, 2012, 04:44:32 PM
I like that your primary consideration is not about comfort or everyday practicality or general good sense or anything like that, but rather the need to flee large wild animals at a moment's notice.

 :whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on July 20, 2012, 09:28:13 PM
(10:47:30 PM) Friday: CAN YOU GET TO THE LOWEST FLOOR OF MY DUNGEON just got a different meaning in my mind
(10:47:32 PM) Friday: thanks brent
(10:47:39 PM) BongoBill: https://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hnahDUKe1qgbu2uo1_400.gif
(10:47:42 PM) Romosome: well now the sound works again
(10:47:57 PM) ***Brentai equips his sword of paradise with exotic armor and descends.
(10:48:00 PM) Romosome: yay
(10:48:05 PM) Brentai: yay
(10:48:13 PM) Friday: yay
(10:48:28 PM) BongoBill: yay
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 21, 2012, 06:55:34 AM
And then there was that time 4chan prank called the guys from Pawn Stars. (http://lollipoptea.tumblr.com/post/27680586569/johngaltinabikini-separationbymitosis)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on July 29, 2012, 12:05:03 AM
<Brentai> Why would you emigrate FROM New Zealand?
* Nick (~Nick@222-153-101-206.jetstream.xtra.co.nz) has joined #finalfight
<Nick> Weed, Brentai.  Too much weed.
* Nick (~Nick@222-153-101-206.jetstream.xtra.co.nz) has left #finalfight
<Brentai> what
<Blackpearl> * Nick (~Nick@222-153-101-206.jetstream.xtra.co.nz
<Blackpearl> They're watching you, Brentai
<Blackpearl> Always listening.
<Brentai> who
<Joxam> New Zealand.
<Brentai> The New Zealanders?
<Blackpearl> The New Zealanders.
<Brentai> My...
<Brentai> My ASS is in danger?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on July 30, 2012, 02:43:21 PM
[17:14] <JDigital> I just remembered how, when we were kids, we would get into the cupboard and just eat handfuls of sugar
[17:15] <Lee-Ham> childhood diabetes... how nostalgic
[17:17] <Lee-Ham> then you went into a coma for years and woke up fully grown like Lion-O
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 01, 2012, 02:19:26 PM
<Warped> So there's this phenomenon in my apartment, where if I leave out any plastic goods in my kitchen, like cups or tupperware, for more than a day or two, it gets sticky.
<Warped> It's tacky, like it's been coated in some light spray adhesive.
<Warped> I've been here for two years and it happens consistently.
<Warped> I don't have to cook for it to happen. I've never experienced anything like it anywhere else I've lived. Any ideas about what the fuck is happening?
<Zephyr> Ghost jizz.
<DS> It sounds like you got a field of increased entropy breaking down the polymer chains. What you're gonna wanna do is get a high-grade recombobulator unit and run it two, maybe three hours a day while you're out of the house.
<DS> These units, they aint cheap, but I know a guy who refurbishes them and I can get you a deal on one, they usually sell for a grand but I can get you one for a couple hundred bucks.
<DS> Let me know if you're interested.
<DS> You probably want to hurry before the entropy field starts messing with your electronics, that can get real expensive real fast.
<KingR> Could be dish soap? Thin layer left over with moisture in the air?
<DS> Hey buddy, what are you a dish soap professor or somethin? I'm trying to sell some quality machinery to this gentleman. >__>
<Warped> Hmm yeah, dish soap does make a bit more sense than ghost jizz, which was my first hypothesis. I'll try switching dish soaps!
<RawMeat> seriously, though, it's ghosts jerking it on your dishes
<Frodo> I think it's spectral semen. 
<BB> sounds like an other worldly wad
<QED> aerosolized semen
<Grak> I get that on surfaces when I've been boiling water or simmering something. But not overnight.
<Phodos> It’s me
<DougB> Dandilion dust from the Avatar planet. You must be some kind of chosen one
<DougB> James Cameron
<BHA> Smectoplasm obv
<BHA> You have a polterbator in your home.
<Mongrel> You know how if you're nice, gnomes come out at night and do your household chores for you?
<Mongrel> Well, you weren't nice.
<Warped> It turns out that it was just regular jizz, mystery solved
<TheJester> holy fuck what did I just miss.....
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 04, 2012, 08:04:42 AM
Quote
I once went out with a girl who looked a lot like Joey Ramone. Never quite had the nerve to say Hey Ho, let's go!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 09, 2012, 09:00:34 AM
"I just came and ate my breakfast."
"That sounds pretty self-serving."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 09, 2012, 12:40:03 PM
Stush Heh, I like all the moles saying that they're the third strongest.
Friday No. 3
Friday in the background
Stush Yes.
Stush I was like "Wait, wasn't the last guy Number three?"
Stush And then I went back and read.
JDigital Wikipedia had a list of people the media had named second or third in command of Al Qaeda
JDigital there are like twenty
Stush Haha, oh man
Stush Someone should photoshop them in front of the backdrop.
Stush With the text
Stush "I am between the second and fourth members of al quaeda in terms of power"
Friday but like all desert people they are vulnerable to psi freeze
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on August 09, 2012, 07:18:33 PM
I want to reward everyone who helped make the above quote happen.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on August 10, 2012, 08:47:44 PM
23:22:29 <+Aoko> Brentai, is it possible for you to fit a volleyball inside your anus?
23:22:48 <@Squizzle> Does it have to be inflated?
23:23:12 <+Aoko> In his ass, yes. He can deflate it, then insert it, then reflate it
23:23:18 < Brentai> I think my ass might be in danger.
23:24:33 <+Ridley> it is
23:25:21 < myew> Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
                 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
                 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  It is to do is take those cleaning products
                 and clean the inside of the questions (i forget what it is.
23:25:45 < Brentai> ...
23:25:54 <+Ridley> laff
23:26:05  * Brentai protects his ass from myew's cleaning products.
23:26:16 <+BongoBill> Brentai, there were some suspicious-looking men with guns and one of them
                      dropped this polaroid of your ass
23:26:38 < Brentai> Shit shit shit I'm gonna call my ass up and tell it to skip town.
23:26:50 < Brentai> Look see I'm calling it now on my cell phone.
23:27:12 < Brentai> Hey, ass.  Ass!  Listen, ass, you gotta... no, fuck, I didn't pick up any
                    goddam Listerine, just LISTEN TO ME.
23:27:38 < Brentai> Ass, they're onto you.  No, not in a good way.  Yes.  No.  Yeah, like, ALL the
                    way through.  Uh huh.  Okay.  Yeah, I'll tell her.
23:28:02 < Brentai> Just... take care, okay?  You're my favorite ass.  ... .... ...I uh...
                    (Iloveyoutoo.)
23:28:10  * Brentai hangs up hurriedly.
23:28:30  * Brentai screams in pain as his ass rips itself off his body and bounces out the door.
23:29:03  * Brentai passes out from severe blood/ass loss.
23:29:44 < Brentai> THE ARISTOCRATS!
23:31:34  * BongoBill applause.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: sei on August 11, 2012, 01:23:19 PM
I like that your primary consideration is not about comfort or everyday practicality or general good sense or anything like that, but rather the need to flee chase down large wild animals at a moment's notice.

 :whoops:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 11, 2012, 01:32:55 PM
Wunnunnunnunnunnunnunnunnunnunnnnnnnn
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 11, 2012, 01:58:29 PM
Zelda 2 Game Over (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2VnS8mwW-g#)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on August 11, 2012, 11:30:42 PM
<Malikial> WHat is tsundere?
<Brentai> BABY DON'T HURT MET
<Brentai> DON'T HURT ME
<Brentai> OKAY YOU CAN HURT ME A LITTLE BUT ONLY IF YOU LOVE ME LATER
<Brentai> That's tsundere.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 12, 2012, 10:37:05 PM
(11:43:18 PM) Brentai: "As far as I'm concerned karma is a less intrusive way of going "lol  yeah".  If you seriously need a numerical score of how many times it  happens to you than congratulations, you've managed to be more  self-absorbed than I am."
(11:43:18 PM) Brentai: "No, seriously, congratulations.  That's a feat."
(11:43:25 PM) Brentai: ...
(11:43:40 PM) Brentai: I actually did not think of the implications of me self-quoting that until now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 12, 2012, 10:52:44 PM
 :scanners:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 13, 2012, 08:13:43 AM
Yet again, Brent's post goes great with his avatar.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 13, 2012, 08:44:02 AM
Brentai will eat itself.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on August 13, 2012, 11:03:30 AM
<Malikial> WHat is tsundere?
<Brentai> BABY DON'T HURT MET
<Brentai> DON'T HURT ME
<Brentai> OKAY YOU CAN HURT ME A LITTLE BUT ONLY IF YOU LOVE ME LATER
<Brentai> That's tsundere.

that's not what tsundere is
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on August 13, 2012, 11:34:11 AM
tsundere is

baka, i-i guess you can hurt me
it's not like i want you to hurt me or anything
b-baka
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 13, 2012, 02:09:18 PM
whelp I guess tsundere masochist is my new fetish now so thanks for that
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 13, 2012, 02:46:25 PM
I think there is actually one of those in Ys Origin.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on August 14, 2012, 10:42:16 PM
<JDigital> I'm wondering if this old D&D feat is balanced
<BongoBill> probably not
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 15, 2012, 10:24:26 AM
On Kalashnikovs:

Quote
Gun control in Russia is less strict than in some other former Soviet countries. Estonia, for example, proscribes carrying a weapon while drunk. “If they did that here, well, nobody would hunt,” said Igor V. Anisimov, the Izhmash director of foreign sales.


Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on August 15, 2012, 10:27:37 AM
That's pretty much my dad's reaction when he read a book on dog training: "It says I'm not supposed to train him when I'm drunk, but...when am I SUPPOSED to do it?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 16, 2012, 06:41:50 PM
<R^2> I like nymphs, but I wouldn't say I'm a maniac.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 16, 2012, 06:57:32 PM
I can't take credit, it's the alt text for page 1 of the current Oglaf.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 16, 2012, 07:34:01 PM
Wait... alt text?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on August 16, 2012, 07:37:22 PM
Yeah. You hold the mouse cursor over the image and it displays text.

There's also extra-secret alt text you can find by looking at the page's code.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 17, 2012, 05:04:05 AM
Wait... Secret alt text?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 17, 2012, 01:58:57 PM
R^2 Heh heh. Nothing quite like finding a nymph corpse and a pile of stolen goods on top of the trigger to a rolling boulder trap. Serves her right.
LaserBeing she's a little flatter than you'd expect for a nymph
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 18, 2012, 07:43:08 PM
A story from an Australian fellow I know:

Quote
Check this out. When I got back from the US/Mexico last year we had all sorts of strange shit in the cases. I had cammo gear, a functional NBC mask and a couple of shrunken heads (they make em out of goats apparently). My mate had most of that list, a gieger counter and these things called radioactive marbles as well. On top of all that I was carrying a massive set of blueprints for a tital II nuclear missile silo because I didnt want to fold them.

Get to a Doreen in customs at Brisbane airport. "Whats that?" she says pointing to my blueprints. "It's blueprints for a titan II nuclear missile silo" I says.

"No, what is it really?" Doreen responds. "Fair dinkum, it really is blueprints for a nuke silo, look I even got this neat card that says I turned the key!" and show her my I turned the key on the 15th of sept card and unravel the blueprints and show her those as well.

Doreen is pretty impressed and a little weirded out all at the same time. She must of been because she never even mentioned the shrunken heads. Anyways thats customs sorted I thinks and hurry off to catch my connceting flight out of cane toad country.

About a minute later I see Doreen setting a new land speed record in my direction yelling "sir! sir!"

FMR here we go, all my cool stuff is going to get confiscated and I am going to miss my connection because I will be cuffed to a chair answering difficult questions about my strange holiday. Then I notice she is waving my blueprints as I had forgot to grab them back off her.

"SIR YOU FORGOT TO GRAB YOUR NUCLEAR BOMB PLANS!" Doreen yells in a voice loud enough to wake a sleeping god.

I swear the airport went dead silent for about 5 seconds as every passenger digests Doreens relevations.

Needless to say I followed the golden rule and acted very casual in the face of extreme weirdness and thanked Doreen for making sure I didn't lose them on the home run. Then turn around to find Big Al my travelling companion giving me one of his laser beam looks...

Thus i can assure you anything up to and including blueprints for a nuclear bomb is not going to raise eyebrows at Brisbane international airport.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 18, 2012, 10:57:43 PM
<JDigital> If someone told me ten years ago that I'd be watching a live broadcast of a little Japanese girl playing Minecraft, I'd have said, "What's Minecraft?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: LaserBeing on August 21, 2012, 01:50:40 PM
[14:59] <@Silversong> !haiku for rats
[14:59] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: You're already dead / today is the day i die / Elderly couples
[15:00] <MetalSlime> :o
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> wow
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> downer
[15:00] <@Silversong> sry
[15:00] <Lee-Ham> !addbest You're already dead / today is the day i die / Elderly couples
[15:00] -Upthorn- This haiku will be sung throughout the ages
[15:00] <@Silversong> !haiku more cheerful
[15:00] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: You will rue the day / not when you have depression / i purchased a gun
[15:01] <Lee-Ham> hahaha
[15:01] <@Silversong> I GIVE UP
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on August 21, 2012, 07:46:58 PM
Quote
<SimonTheDigger> Now you've got me wondering about things.
<SimonTheDigger> like "What would cisportation be?"
<Mr_Saturn> SimonTheDigger when you get off at the same place you got on

I laughed.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 22, 2012, 06:13:02 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/upuAg.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on August 22, 2012, 08:06:36 PM
Albi The Racist Dragon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00uaB51ivXU#)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 28, 2012, 04:41:10 PM
<R^2> After the woodland-nymph stole Magicbane, Lee-Ham went to look for her. Instead he was eaten by a crocodile.
<+Ridley> Can I have a go now?
<+Ridley> As a sexy human female rogue?
<R^2> Ridley the aforementioned kind of rogue. Name your dog.
<+Ridley> Snarktooth.
<@Cait> Ridley the Rouge.
<R^2> Drop short sword, drop five of six daggers, name dagger, name dagger again so it's different from the ones on the floor, pick up daggers, quiver daggers for throwing, adjust sack to (b) and lockpick to [k].
<R^2> Rogues take a lot of fiddling around to start your game.
<+Ridley> hmmm
<R^2> Ridley sexily, humanly, and rogueishly steals some food and protective gear from a shop.
<+Ridley> tee hee.
<R^2> Slash! Stab! Two hits from a hobbit and Ridley goes from full HP to 0. I'm not saying the hobbit was carrying Grayswandir, but shit.
<+Ridley> god damn hobbits
<R^2> Looks like Ridley was finally done in by his own
* R^2 shades
<R^2> bad hobbits.
<+Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
<+Ridley> I hate you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 28, 2012, 06:15:33 PM
I love you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 01, 2012, 04:58:17 PM
<R^2> Hehehe.
<R^2> I didn't notice.
<R^2> Brentai started with a Silversong corpse in his inventory. :3c
<Brentai> d_d b_b
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 01, 2012, 05:13:44 PM
A few minutes later:

R^2 Hey look, Oracle level spawns a lot of shitty monsters that eat another character. Imagine that. (It was a wererat, and Brentai had no scrolls of taming.)
Brentai I ate my Silversong corpse before the rats could get to it, right?
R^2 Of course.
R^2 "Ate."
Brentai Perfect.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 03, 2012, 01:01:20 PM
<Cait> You don't really -need- to cart around the spellbooks, by the time they get stale you're probably set for cash or don't need the spell any more.
<TedBelmont> Spellbooks get stale?
<Cait> You forget a spell after 10,000 turns, give or take.
<Cait> Oh, 20,000.
<TedBelmont> So I guess you could say they have a...
TedBelmont shades
<TedBelmont> Spell-by date.
<Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 05, 2012, 09:21:14 PM
[1:29] <GauHelldragon> upthorn please stop making CSI spinoffs
[1:29] <GauHelldragon> i know you're the one who is making all of them
[1:30] <+Esperath> you might say that he's
[1:30] * +Esperath shades
[1:31] <+Esperath> the upthorn in your side
[1:31] <+Aoko> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on September 05, 2012, 11:21:25 PM
<Elfin> I'm just running a bath.
<Stush> Can I join you, elfin?
<Elfin> Let's do it.
<Stush> It would be the manliest bath
<Elfin> So much hair.
<Stush> Ladies would hear that bath coming from kilometers away, and they'd melt.
<Stush> Just melt into a pile of bones
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 06, 2012, 05:48:48 AM
[08:54] <+Kazz> all i want
[08:54] <+Kazz> is an autographed picture
[08:54] <+Kazz> of bill clinton's penis in my mouth
[08:54] <+Esperath> autographed by bill clinton's penis?
[08:55] <+Smiler> could you prove that this penis in your mouth is bill clinton's?
[08:55] <+Kazz> i'd prefer if he was giving the camera a thumbs-up
[08:55] <+Esperath> I did not have sexual relations with Kazz's mouth
[08:55] <+Smiler> his penis giving a thumbs up?
[08:55] <+Kazz> do you people even know what a penis is
[08:55] <+Kazz> jeez
[08:56] <+Esperath> a penis is a reflective shield used to prevent rockets from burning up on atmospheric re-entry
[08:57] <+Ridley> no, no it isn't
[08:57] <Stush> A penis is basically a butt.
[08:57] <Stush> But it's on your front
[08:57] <Stush> And it's shaped different and works differently
[08:58] <+Esperath> a penis is a glorified door-knocker
[08:58] <+Kazz> oh my god
[08:58] <+Kazz> none of you know what a penis is
[08:58] <+Esperath> KNOCK KNOCK
[08:59] * +Kazz jumps off a cliff
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on September 06, 2012, 09:10:41 PM
I know it's not quite appropriate but...
Damn, I haven't had sushi in like forever

What are some good sushi places around Toronto, Mongrel?
I know a place. Really good for the value. We can go sometime.

...also you can just walk over here and ask me.  :advice:
Yeah, but your door was closed and I didn't want to bother you.  :nyoro~n:

Consider this a karma.

Man, if I had a karma for every time I've had this exchange with Roast Beef.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 06, 2012, 09:23:59 PM
<Brentai> I need to be aroused to start working on whatever the hell it is I need to do before I leave.
<Neeerds> And that is: A renegade half-man, half-robot from Detroit who fights internet robots that want to shut down outerheaven for copyright breaches
<Brentai> I... okay.
* Brentai bends over.
<Neeerds> DEAD OR ALIVE, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 07, 2012, 02:47:21 PM
<@Romosome> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_lists_of_lists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_lists_of_lists) oh god WHAT
<@Friday> UNDER
<@Friday> X
<@Friday> LOOK
<@Friday> UNDER X
<Mr_Saturn> Haha
<@Romosome> Friday no
<@Romosome> nooooooooooooooooooo
<@Friday> :D
<Niku> i don't know
<Niku> playing xenosaga made me feel pretty listless

<@Romosome> oh when I was 11 I like absolutely combed through my parents' books and movies
<@Romosome> looking for porn
<@Romosome> like
<@Romosome> I watched terminator 1
<@Romosome> because it had a nipple
<@Friday> Romo did you pause the VCR
<@Friday> on nipple
<@Romosome> Friday of course
<@Romosome> I found the nipple in STAR WARS
<@Romosome> are you kidding me
...
<rainwarrior> Romosome: that gives me flashbacks to being a young teenager and finding the frame advance feature on my VCR
<@Friday> and now, nipples are everywhere
<@Friday> oh, internet
<@Friday> ruining sex forever
<Niku> It used to be about the mystery
<@Friday> now it's about the search history
<Niku> fuck friday now i'm hearing it as Ducktales
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on September 10, 2012, 12:21:11 AM
After about an hour of Brentai and Bongo talking maths

[04:25] <BrentsPhone> Ugh
[04:25] <BrentsPhone> Just
[04:25] <BrentsPhone> Fuck this entire life.
[04:25] <BongoBill> So you got the right answer 15 minutes ago, but now you understand it.
[04:26] <Romo|Study> oh is this actually for homework?
[04:26] <Romo|Study> I thought you guys were just fucking around.
[04:26] <BrentsPhone> WHAT IN THE HOLY GODDAM FUCK
[04:26] <Romo|Study> can you help me memorize the meiotic cycle?
[04:26] <BrentsPhone> WOULD I BE DOING
[04:26] <BrentsPhone> IN A HOTEL ROOM IN LAS VEGAS
[04:26] <Romo|Study> have you SEEN the kind of shit Cait and Bill get up to at 2 am?
[04:26] <BrentsPhone> CALCULATING GODDAM PERMUTATIONS
[04:26] <BrentsPhone> BECAUSE I CLEARLY DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER I COULD BE DOING
[04:27] <patito> maybe you're planning to cheat at a casino game
[04:27] <BrentsPhone> AT THIS VERY MOMENT
[04:27] <Romo|Study> the funny thing is this problem is very related to card counting
[04:27] <Romo|Study> 52 c 5
[04:27] <BongoBill> super related
[04:27] <BrentsPhone> Actually it didn't occur to me that this is the single most alarming field I could be studying right now.
[04:27] <Romo|Study> number of possible hands from a deck
[04:27] <BrentsPhone> Okay this does not make me feel better
[04:27] <Romo|Study> dude what
[04:28] <Romo|Study> Will Smith is not going to shoot you for reading discrete math in a hotel
[04:28] <BrentsPhone> No, but I might.
[04:28] <Stush> Brentai, don't feel bad, you're a hero!
[04:28] <BongoBill> Okay, so let's say there are 26 prostitutes and you're going to hire 3 of them. How many possible combinations of whores can you
[04:29] <BrentsPhone> Shut.  Up.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 11, 2012, 03:35:04 AM
<Stush> I hate when a platform looks like something you can land on. But instead it's the world's most advanced frictionless material.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 11, 2012, 06:53:30 PM
<G4I> OH MAN HOW COME I NEAR HEARD OF THIS??
<G4I> http://blog.thephoenix.com/BLOGS/phlog/archive/2009/02/05/barack-obama-is-tired-of-this.aspx (http://blog.thephoenix.com/BLOGS/phlog/archive/2009/02/05/barack-obama-is-tired-of-this.aspx)
<UberMex> We all talked about that here 4 years ago. Several of my friends had them as ringtones.
<G4I> Mostly this:
<G4I> http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/blogs/phlog/OBAMA_IGNORANT.mp3 (http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/blogs/phlog/OBAMA_IGNORANT.mp3)
<G4I> WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS???
<Slearch> because http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/blogs/phlog/OBAMA_IGNORANT.mp3 (http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/blogs/phlog/OBAMA_IGNORANT.mp3)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 12, 2012, 06:56:03 PM
George Takei: "Wanna freak out your neighbors? Name your WiFi 'FBI Surveillance Van.'"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on September 13, 2012, 05:05:44 PM
From a thread where the Romney/Dukat lookalike picture popped up:

Quote
A vote for Romney is a vote for Dukat!

Why would anyone want to join with the Dominion. They weren't even born in this country.

Quote
Why hasn't Gul Romney disclosed his birth certificate, huh?

BECAUSE HE'S AN ALIEN FROM CARDASSIA

Quote
And he hasn't released all his tax returns because most his profits came from Bajoran slaves mining ore.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 13, 2012, 08:27:55 PM
On election day he's going to become space satan and Obama is going to tackle him into a helldeath chasm.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 13, 2012, 08:56:06 PM
<Mongrel> Man, I am bending this spoon trying to scoop out this ice cream
<Mongrel> I'm doing my best Uri Geller here
<Mongrel> Only without the brain
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 15, 2012, 07:54:26 AM
<barksdale> There are so many Japanese tourists here
<barksdale> One guy took a picture of his friend in front of a Denny's sign and I felt bad about this country
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 15, 2012, 02:19:13 PM
Yeah, diners are really scarce anywhere else that is not America. You just look at one and are like "oh my just like in my american animes"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 15, 2012, 02:21:49 PM
Am I radical uguu~?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 15, 2012, 07:49:20 PM
<Mazian> I liked the way that Hunt for Red October did it, since they also decided that doing two-thirds of the movie in subbed Russian would've been goofy.
<Brentai> Well, I mean, 2/3 of the movie WAS in Russian subs.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 18, 2012, 05:37:49 PM
<@Friday> hahaha
<@Friday> should I include Bof2 to troll
<@Romosome> what
<@Romosome> troll?
<@Friday> yes
<@Romosome> it's one of the best RPGs
<@Friday> fuck you no it is not.
<@Romosome> I'm sick of your disingenuous insinuations
<Niku> i legit love BOF1 but i would not even call that a good game
* @Romosome renegade-punches Friday
<+BongoBill> Breath of Fire 2 can be transformed into a good game with some very minor changes. It is not a good game in its default state. BoF1 is superior.
* @Friday dies
<+Aoko> FRIDAY
<@Romosome> NO IT'S A GOOD GAME DESPITE THE HORRIBLE TRANSLATION AND AWFUL GRIND
<+Aoko> WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT BREATH OF FIRE?
<+Aoko> YES NO
<@Romosome> IT'S AMAZING
<@Friday> YES
<+Aoko> OKAY BYE
* +Aoko close dialogue window
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on September 19, 2012, 05:54:09 AM
<nyao> they added spongebending
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 20, 2012, 05:56:32 PM
<@Friday> blech
<@Friday> i struck out
<@Friday> I knew it was coming but I'm still dissapointed
<+LAVOS> Eh, Freya?
<@Friday> oh, a cute girl I've been crushing on down at the local Subway.
<@Friday> She is, unsurprisingly, not gay.
<+LAVOS> Aw. :(
<R^2> CUTE GIRL AT SUBWAY -- HELP
* +LAVOS hugs Friday
<@Friday> OR MAYBE SHE IS AND SHE THINKS I'M UGLY
* @Friday insecurity
<Roger> Friday Friday
<+LAVOS> R^2 beat you, and also, GOD DAMMIT.
<@Friday> Yeah, I've already drawn the spram analogy
<@Friday> except I actually asked her out
<@Friday> ZING
<R^2> Well, for how many weeks have you been Facebook-stalking her, here?
<@Friday> I've been crushing for a few months, actually.
<@Friday> but zero fb stalking.
<GauHelldragon> how do you know her
<R^2> Oh. Well, it's not really like Spram at all then huh
<@Friday> I don't really know her.
<@Friday> She just works at the local subway.
<GauHelldragon> oh ok
<R^2> Friday just wanted to "Eat Fresh" if you know what I mean

This was followed by me spitting my sourdough Italian BMT 5 dollar footlong all over my keyboard
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on September 20, 2012, 06:09:12 PM
You missed the follow-up:

<@Romosome> Friday
<@Romosome> for years you have lived among us
<@Romosome> we have accepted you as one of our own despite you being a girl
<@Romosome> but now that you have known what it is like to be rejected by a cute girl working at a restaurant you are truly one of us
<@Friday> hahaha
<@Romosome> here is your black graphic t-shirt
<@Romosome> and beard
<@Romosome> wear them with pride and cargo shorts
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Nickasummers on September 20, 2012, 06:14:26 PM
<@Romosome> here is your black graphic t-shirt
<@Romosome> and beard
<@Romosome> wear them with pride and cargo shorts
My reaction was first laughter, followed by sudden self-awareness and disappointment.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on September 20, 2012, 06:34:43 PM
<@Friday> blech
<@Friday> i struck out
<@Friday> I knew it was coming but I'm still dissapointed
<+LAVOS> Eh, Freya?
<@Friday> oh, a cute girl I've been crushing on down at the local Subway.
<@Friday> She is, unsurprisingly, not gay.
<+LAVOS> Aw. :(
<R^2> CUTE GIRL AT SUBWAY -- HELP
* +LAVOS hugs Friday
<@Friday> OR MAYBE SHE IS AND SHE THINKS I'M UGLY
* @Friday insecurity
<Roger> Friday Friday
<+LAVOS> R^2 beat you, and also, GOD DAMMIT.
<@Friday> Yeah, I've already drawn the spram analogy
<@Friday> except I actually asked her out
<@Friday> ZING
<R^2> Well, for how many weeks have you been Facebook-stalking her, here?
<@Friday> I've been crushing for a few months, actually.
<@Friday> but zero fb stalking.
<GauHelldragon> how do you know her
<R^2> Oh. Well, it's not really like Spram at all then huh
<@Friday> I don't really know her.
<@Friday> She just works at the local subway.
<GauHelldragon> oh ok
<R^2> Friday just wanted to "Eat Fresh" if you know what I mean

This was followed by me spitting my sourdough Italian BMT 5 dollar footlong all over my keyboard


GRINDING THIS CONVERSATION TO A HALT:

where the fuck do you live that Subway has sourdough bread

when did they start getting sourdough

:( i want sourdough
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 20, 2012, 07:14:34 PM
It varies by region.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on September 20, 2012, 07:19:07 PM
God help me if your subway still has swiss...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 20, 2012, 07:23:22 PM
Zero Suit Samus at her computer and eating a sandwich is really the best avatar for this conversation.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on September 20, 2012, 09:01:53 PM
<+Ridley> SHIT I missed He-Man
<rainwarrior> by 25 years
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 21, 2012, 06:15:44 AM
From the Wikipedia article on box turtles:

Quote
In Virginia, bills to honor the eastern box turtle failed in 1999 and then in 2009. For the most recent failure, a Republican legislator criticized the creature for being cowardly because of its shell.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on September 21, 2012, 10:22:15 AM
From the Wikipedia article on box turtles:

Quote
In Virginia, bills to honor the eastern box turtle failed in 1999 and then in 2009. For the most recent failure, a Republican legislator criticized the creature for being cowardly because of its shell.

Of course it was a Republican.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 22, 2012, 02:38:26 PM
Sharkey ought to appreciate this drunk-post (no, not by me):

Quote
staple your dik t o a penceil and then imagne that used to write th constitutiong
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on September 24, 2012, 07:19:30 PM
[22:17] <+Utsuho> Hey Brentai
[22:18] <+Utsuho> What's the definition of trust
[22:18] <Brentai> You tell me.
[22:18] <Brentai> Whatever you say, I will believe it.
[22:18] <+Utsuho> Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs
[22:18] <Brentai> I will never trust again.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on September 30, 2012, 01:05:12 PM
<Mr_Saturn> Diablo 3's issue is the fucking auction house

...

<Esperath> oh man
<Esperath> a story about a couple going to see Up without knowing anything about it, right after they miscarried
<Esperath> :3c
<Brentai> Oof
<Brentai> tbf nobody ever MENTIONS that that's a thing that happens.
<Mr_Saturn> The grey items had no reason to be picked up ever
<Brentai> You can read a hundred reviews of the movie and then see it and go "Whaaaaaaat?"
<Mr_Saturn> HEY THIS IS WORSE THAN NOTHING DROPPING
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 02, 2012, 05:19:45 PM
<JDigital> Ridley: Then there's Maid RPG, where all damage is emotional
<+Aoko> For the characters or the players
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 02, 2012, 07:54:15 PM
Quote
As to hating Catholics, here in Montana there are lots of Catholics but very few blacks. The only black gentleman in Miles City, a well-respected and longtime resident, used to tell the story of the night the clan came to his door in the 30's with a spare hood and robe and invited him to join them in a cross burning at the home of a Catholic family that had moved in. Just proves folks could be more flexible than one might think.

   
How progressive!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on October 03, 2012, 12:44:28 AM
Man I miss the good old days of racism when people could only hate one segment of the population at a time.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 04, 2012, 04:17:20 PM
<drethelin1> you should write a steampunk paranormal romance
<drethelin1> with light bdsm
<@Cait> Write a book about declaring bankruptcy
<drethelin1> it will sell a bajillion copies
<@Cait> dreth: 'light BDSM' by cultural standards, or Friday standards
<drethelin1> cultural
<drethelin1> 50 shades of  grey style
<@Friday> OH NO SOME SPANKING WITH A RULER I HAVE TO GO TO MY "DARK PLACE"
<@Friday> w.
<@Friday> t.
<@Friday> f.
<@Friday> lady, if being spanked by a ruler causes you to go to your "dark place" I'd like to introduce you to my whip
<@Friday> I call it...
<@Friday> Vampire Killer.
<Mazian> <fx: soundtrack starts>
<@Cait> Now I am picturing a 50 Shades of Grey but all Simo Belmo-ed.
<@patito> 50 shades of grey as read by arc
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 05, 2012, 05:53:49 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/nEWMB.gif)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 05, 2012, 08:31:15 PM
<+Esperath> !surge Brentai
<+Aoko> SURGE: 2334 Esperath's sense of beauty and ugliness is reversed
* Brentai molests Esperath.
<+Esperath> <3
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on October 06, 2012, 05:37:17 PM
From a new game in the IFComp (http://www.ifcomp.org/comp12/info.php), Kicker:
Quote
You head over to your team's sideline and stand inconspicuously near your practice equipment. One of the backup linebackers runs past and stops to smash his facemask into yours, screaming Gameday! It's on now! Wooooooo! but when he realises who you are he looks disappointed and walks away. You pretend to stretch your kicking leg.
I'm not gonna lie to you, this looks like a serious contender for the top 3 or maybe even the Golden Banana of Discord.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on October 07, 2012, 09:23:55 PM
[00:18] <+Aoko> Is it weird that playing TWEWY to 100% completion has made me remember Sine, Cosine, Tangent, Cosecant, Secant, and Cotangent better than any amount of book study?
[00:19] <@patito> what was that in TWEWY
[00:19] <@patito> were they special moves or something?
[00:19] <+Aoko> patito: One of the main villians was Sho Minamimoto, who shouted out math phrases, trivia, and everything for his battle cries
[00:20] <+Aoko> "SINE!" "COSINE!" "TANGENT!"
[00:20] <@Smiler> yeah i don't remember much math in TWEWY aside from him yelling those words
[00:20] <myew> Popular music works the same cosine, right?
[00:20] <+Aoko> "SOH-CAH-TOA!" was also something he frequently shouted in battle
[00:20] <@Smiler> ah
[00:20] <@Smiler> okay
[00:20] <+Aoko> For whatever reason it made all the sine/cosine/tangent stuff stick in my head a lot better than any booklearnin
[00:21] <@Smiler> soh cah toa is the usual way to remember that stuff
[00:21] <@Smiler> i totally remember it but i don't know what to do with it anymore
[00:21] * Brentai (~chatzilla@ip68-4-205-117.oc.oc.cox.net) has joined #finalfight
[00:22] <Brentai> THAT was easy enough.
[00:22] <+Aoko> You rub it vigorously and the results just shoot out everywhere.
[00:22] <Brentai> My head's starting to get funky thou
[00:22] <Brentai> ...
[00:22] <myew> And i got out a whole fuck ton of results.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 12, 2012, 12:49:29 AM
<+Aoko> Hey
<+Aoko> Hey patito, Esperath
<+Aoko> Turns out Obama didn't lose that debate
<+Aoko> He was just
* +Aoko shades
<+Aoko> Biden his time.
<+Aoko>YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
* MetalSlime pulls Lyrai off the stage
<@patito> that's awful
<@patito> so awful I'm going to bed
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on October 17, 2012, 11:00:09 AM
<hngkong> My hope is that the whole zombie obsession dies soon.
<Ridley> the zombie obsession isn't going to die, hng
<Ridley> it's been like a decade of it it's here to stay
<Ridley> and the actual point of zombies has been long since forgotten.
<Romosome> it's a scenario with obvious appeals
<Romosome> and psychological stuff
<Ridley> Except a huge chunk of the more recent zombie stuff isn't about the psychological stuff or the examination of society through the lens of fiction
<BongoBill> The zombie concept survives because it has utility as an object for suspense scenarios, but it was invented because alienation from surrounding society, etc.
<Romosome> bill: irony of zombies being a memetic zombie etc
<Romosome> meta as fuck
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 17, 2012, 12:37:51 PM
Also ironic: people blindly buying into the current commercialized version.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 17, 2012, 02:43:15 PM
i liked zombies before they were even cool in the grave
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 17, 2012, 02:43:28 PM
i liked zombies when they were still underground
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on October 17, 2012, 02:44:25 PM
zombies have gotten way too mainscream
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on October 17, 2012, 03:53:39 PM
The zombie fad is dead.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 17, 2012, 05:46:45 PM
Just another reason Why Bill Murray is the World's Greatest Mythological Figure (http://www.cracked.com/article_19035_why-bill-murray-worlds-greatest-mythological-figure.html)

Hey, remember this discussion? Well guess what.

Bill Murray calls Kelly Lynch and her husband every time he sees the sex scene in Road House (http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/59908/bill-murray-likes-to-call-kelly-lynchs-husband-every-time-he-sees-patrick-swayze-having-sex-with-her-in-road-house). Which is apparently pretty fucking frequently in the Murray household.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on October 17, 2012, 07:25:32 PM
At this point, do you think Murray wants people to start making up stuff about him?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 17, 2012, 07:31:29 PM
He's probably wanted that for years.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 18, 2012, 04:26:05 PM
<@Friday> also i am still
<@Friday> fucking amazed
<@Friday> by how much girls talk about dick
<@Friday> i mean like I'm going to assume guys talk about tits a lot
<@Friday> but
<@Friday> holy shit
<@Friday> the details girls give
<@Romosome> what
<@Friday> they will discuss at length
<@Friday> your length
<@Friday> get it
<@Romosome> really
<@Friday> yes.
<@Romosome> no what the hell else do they say
<kashan> Do they dicuss girth?
<@Friday> basically everything there is to say about dicks
<@Friday> length, girth, balls, hair
<@Friday> coloring
<@Friday> scars
<@Friday> prefernce
<@Friday> size requirements
<@Friday> blah blah blah dick dick dick
<@Friday> I'm just like
<@Friday> GIRLS
<@Friday> CAN WE TALK ABOUT
<@Friday> I DON'T KNOW
<@Friday> SHOPPING
<kashan> Vaginas?
<@Romosome> what
<@Romosome> you don't like talking about dick
<+BongoBill> then why do you come here
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on October 19, 2012, 09:52:00 AM
[12:44] <@Cait> Slightly belated: The real secret to eating Vegemite is to use as little as possible. Some advocates say preparing a sandwich in the same room as a jar of it is adequate.
[12:45] <+BongoBill> Open jar or closed?
[12:45] <@Cait> That's one of the major schisms.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 22, 2012, 04:57:57 AM
<beatbandito> Isn't gay sex still technically illegal?
<+Kazz> depends where you are
<beatbandito> In a gay man's butt
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 23, 2012, 06:30:57 PM
<lark> are there any sphinx puns available?
<Mongrel>  I don' sphinx so.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 30, 2012, 06:14:25 PM
<Romosome> I am going to make a Silent Hill movie
<Romosome> and it will have all the important scenes
<Romosome> like
<Romosome> reaching into toilets
<Romosome> running into walls
<Romosome> a five minute long scene of the main character trying to open every single door in an apartment hallway
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 01, 2012, 05:12:44 AM
Quote from: Scurv
Cats were revered as gods by the Egyptians. In fact I think cats have been dining out on the fact they helped shape/save civilisation since those times.

I know, your thinking "cor that Scurv do go on by 'arf!" but think about it.

Back in the day everything came down to being able to store a surplus of grain for a long period of time. It was that surplus that enabled commerce, specialised trades and kept the city state or what have you trucking through the droughts, seiges and what nots.

Now if a bunch of rodents get into your grain I can gaurentee they will spoil it quick smart. Cats nailed the vermin before they could breed up in enough numbers to f*ck with the program so to speak. Thus without cats we might of given up on that agriculture malarky when the crops kept getting eaten and still be running around clubbing women for sex and fighting dinosaurs like they did in 100000 BC!

In brief, Cats arrive in their star vessels and eat the dinosaurs because they look like big lizards that will survive torture for days on end. Mankind is unimpressed with their efforts due to a slight misunderstanding of gifts when man discovers dinosaur intestines and feet artfully arranged in his bed of furs by stepping in it.

So cats eat the mice in the grannery and the grain does not get spoiled and eaten. In fact there is so much left man can experiment with it. Man discovers fermentation, fermentation makes beer, beer makes beer goggles and beer goggles make ugly women look good and that makes getting laid a hell of a lot easier than dragging an unconcious women about the shop you clubbed over the head. At some point between exchanging the club for the pint glass man sees the cats connection in all this and promptly elevates them to god hood.

The rest is history as they say.


This guy has so much great material.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: patito on November 06, 2012, 12:08:49 PM
Quote from: #talkintime
[14:35] <Excitemike> who would make a better president: mario or sonic?
[14:36] <adrenaline> mario is a human
[14:36] <Adam> sonic because it's high time we had a blue president
[14:36] <Excitemike> mario was born in the united states
[14:36] <Kalir> I'd say Mario, except for his ties to Mushroom royalty
[14:37] <Excitemike> the mushroom kingdom is our greatest ally!
[14:37] <Excitemike> Bowser cannot be allowed to get the bomb
[14:37] <McClain> hedgehogs only live to about y years old. No way Sonic meets the age requirement
[14:37] <McClain> *7 years old
[14:37] <Cait> Mario has shown the capacity to form alliances with his enemies. Sonic is still after Robotnik.
[14:38] <Excitemike> there is also the running mate to consider
[14:38] * fbm_ has joined #talkingtime
[14:38] <patito> Mario has proven he can grow as a person, while Sonic just keeps rushing headlong into things.
[14:39] <Dr_Nerd> Cait maybe you remember a certain red spiney echidna cough cough
[14:39] <Kalir> yeah, Mario can't just up and go with Luigi
[14:39] <Dr_Nerd> There's your anti-blue dog rhetoric again
[14:39] <Excitemike> I don't want to be one chili dog away from a president miles "tail" prower
[14:39] * fbm_ is now known as fbm
[14:39] <Dr_Nerd> blue hog excuse me
[14:39] <Kalir> I'm expecting Mario to choose Yoshi as his running mate
[14:39] * Zaidyer has joined #talkingtime
[14:40] <Excitemike> yoshi is the worst flip-flopper, always with a new color
[14:40] <Cait> Kalir: Too controversial. Toad would improve his ticket more.
[14:40] <Kalir> Toad is so damn boring, I don't care if he is a war hero
[14:40] <Dr_Nerd> Toad is a stable VP candidate with a precise jump
[14:41] <patito> Toad may not excel at things but he is always competent enough at whatever he does
[14:41] <Dr_Nerd> Not like that slippery weasel Luigi
[14:41] <Zaidyer> I agree with Blue Toad's sea-shanties policy, but I disagree with his "Not using the B Button" policy
[14:41] <Excitemike> luigi can get so much higher that toad
[14:41] <McClain> Mario needs to think outside the box for his VP. I'm thinking Link for the dream ticket.
[14:42] <McClain> Or he could reach across the isle and tap Alex Kidd.
[14:42] <Zef> Nah, not Link. Lakitu.
[14:43] <Zaidyer> Four more years of Peach is four more years of war with the Koopa Kingdom! How many more times can we afford to have our leaders kidnapped and our people held hostage?!
[14:43] <kaisel> Samus, military experience and pushing for more progressive politics
[14:43] <Zef> Lakitu is always at the ready to fish his boss out of hot water.
[14:43] <Kalir> Lakitu would do wonders for the independent voting group
[14:43] <Excitemike> lakitu is in the pocket of Big Turtle
[14:43] <McClain> Lakitu spends too much time with his head in the clouds
[14:43] <Dr_Nerd> Wario already has the libertarian voite
[14:43] <Excitemike> hahahaha
[14:43] <McClain> Wario is clearly green party.
[14:43] <Adam> vote smw lakitu. sm3 lakitu is too unpredictable.
[14:44] <Zef> Wario is a self-made man
[14:44] <Kalir> McClain: With that gas-belting hog of his? No way man
[14:44] <Nodal1> It actually runs on springs
[14:44] <Nodal1> He has to crank it every night
[14:44] <Kalir> Adam: that's just the result of SMBX propaganda
[14:45] <McClain> I heard Wario's company would flood smaller companies with crappy 5 second games and then cash out when they collapsed.
[14:45] <Zef> Come to think of it, forget Lakitu.
[14:45] <Excitemike> Wario actually outsources his minigames to Bomberman Land
[14:45] <Zef> Mario needs someone with experience in government, and Toadstool has proven she runs entirely on emotions.
[14:46] <Zef> Mario-Rosalina all the way.
[14:46] <McClain> Rosalina is clearly a communist
[14:46] <Dr_Nerd> Rosalina wants to outsource jobs to the rest of the universe
[14:46] <Kalir> that'd be amazing but we'd never see it take off
[14:46] <Adam> WALUIGI WEVOLUTION 2012
[14:46] <Kalir> oh hell no
[14:46] <McClain> Rosalina just believes in sharing the star bits with everyone
[14:47] <McClain> no toad is more or less deserving.
[14:47] <Zef> Adam, Wevolution sounds like something that appeals to the Latino market.
[14:47] <McClain> hahahah
[14:47] <Zef> Waluigi has wuevos
[14:47] <Adam> HUEVOLUTION
[14:47] <Excitemike> Sonic has the experience to get this country back on it's feet quickly; also has better music
[14:47] <Adam> i want a breakfast burrito now
[14:47] <McClain> Hueluigi?
[14:48] <Cait> Mike, do you really want to let the pundits dredge up Sonic's past with Michael Jackson?
[14:48] <Zef> I do not trust Sonic. His claims of "blast processing" were fact-checked into oblivion.
[14:48] <McClain> Sonic would bring the worst kind of crony politics
[14:48] <Zef> And while he was a staunch Segan for decades, he was quick to jump ship to Mario's camp to profit from it.
[14:48] <McClain> do we really want Big The Cat in the cabinet?
[14:49] <Excitemike> If Mario is so great, why does he keep all his coins in foreign pipes?
[14:49] <Zef> Sonic is a flip-flopper.
[14:49] <McClain> And what about his associations with "Shadow" the Hedgehog.
[14:50] <Adam> the drudge report has pics of sonic with an underaged amy rose
[14:50] <Excitemike> the only way this can be decided is with an olympic event
[14:50] <McClain> Excitemike, he's tapping into out vast coin reserves. FIght for coin independence. Drill, baby, drill
[14:50] <Nodal1> Sonic is strong within the black community, you racist
[14:50] <Zef> And don't forget Sonic's '06 campaign. It consisted of embarrassing crashes and rumors of affairs with his human interns.
[14:51] <McClain> Vote Third Party. Vote Bonk!
[14:51] <Zef> Now there's a candidate who knows how to climb to the top with nothing but his teeth.
[14:51] <Zef> But his hard-headed outlook towards environmental affairs leaves much to be desired.
[14:52] <McClain> Who better to help us become engergy independent than a guy who killed dinosaurs as a kid?
[14:52] <McClain> He knows exactly where the oil is!
[14:53] <Adam> Bonk has trouble appealing to the agricultural segment. He's big on meat.
[14:54] <Cait> Bonk believes in sustainable meat.
[14:54] <Excitemike> sonic has appeal with blue states while mario tests well in red and blue states
[14:55] <Cait> The animal-rights people endorse Sonic's stance on animal liberation.
[14:55] <Zef> However, Bonk has shown a stark disconnect with the necessities of the modern world.
[14:55] <Cait> Sonic's mistrust of things technological will only turn back the clock, though.
[14:56] <Zef> Yes, Sonic is big on animal rights, but his destructive agenda towards technological progress will only stagnate the economy and kill all science and engineering-related jobs!
[14:56] <Excitemike> Sonic helped clean up Oil Ocean
[14:56] <CaliScrub> he broke machinery and ran away
[14:56] <CaliScrub> that's eco-terrorism
[14:57] <Excitemike> that's why Tails is his VP
[14:57] <Cait> Ecco-terrorism.
[14:57] <Excitemike> he'll swoop down in a biplane to catch our freefalling economy
[14:57] <Zef> And Chaos Emeralds are too volatile in today's market. You can't base your economic platform on them.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on November 06, 2012, 04:46:59 PM
<Egarwaen> ROMNEY IS SNAKING THIS IS BS.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on November 07, 2012, 09:47:28 PM
<Thad> Motherfuckin' snakes on a motherfuckin' plane, apply directly to the forehead!  Attack its weak point for massive damage!  I wish I could quit you!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on November 19, 2012, 07:22:37 AM
<Frocto> What should be 2,500th post be on the forums?
<+Ridley> Tits.
<+Ridley> Fabulous tits

(http://oi46.tinypic.com/10dvaf6.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on November 19, 2012, 08:13:26 AM
... I'm okay with this.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 19, 2012, 11:48:24 AM
 :perfect:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 19, 2012, 01:57:32 PM
[15:56] * Utsuho (~FaDiel@198.200.215.5) has joined #finalfight
[15:56] <Utsuho> WHORES
[15:56] * ChanServ sets mode: +v Utsuho
[15:56] <Arcturus> Passphrase Accepted.
[15:57] <Arcturus> Welcome Back, Lyrai.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 20, 2012, 08:20:24 PM
<NicJones>  if these analogies were any more tortured we'd have to declare them enemy combatants
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on November 22, 2012, 09:05:40 AM
[10:45] <+Esperath> !surge TedButtmont
[10:45] <+Aoko> SURGE: 2941 Caster's home shrinks by 80+d20%
[10:45] <+Esperath> :|
[10:45] <+Esperath> MY HOUSE
[10:45] <+Esperath> !roll 1d20
[10:45] <shybot> Esperath: 17 (1d20=17)
[10:45] <+Esperath> fuck
[10:45] <+Esperath> I think I'm dead
[10:47] <beatbandit> !surge all over Esper's house
[10:47] <+Aoko> SURGE: 3739 Next meal prepared by caster tastes like chicken
[10:48] <beatbandit> NO! My Turkey will be ruined!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on November 27, 2012, 03:37:22 PM
<@Friday> I "read somewhere" that girls blink on average either 2 or 3 times as often as boys
<@Friday> is this because blinking is linked to emotion and men are trained/taught to supress it
<hngkong> That's retarded.  I never stop blinking.  Or crying.
<zara> my father hit me every time I blinked
<@Friday> or is it because of some physical thing that women like, need more moisture on their eyeballs
<@Friday> SCIENCE DEMANDS AN ANSWER
<+drethelin> I think blinking more is more submissive and women are on average more submissive
<zara> friday
<zara> wikipedia says it's a myth
<@Friday> ah ok
<@Friday> thats why read somewhere was in quotes
<@Friday> BUT WHAT ABOUT MEN THINKING ABOUT SEX EVERY 7 SECONDS
<zara> I don't think about sex that often even when I'm -having- it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 02, 2012, 12:06:45 AM
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5um8fcHaN1qz8yr3o1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 02, 2012, 10:02:23 AM
That picture never fails to make me laugh. :)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on December 05, 2012, 01:57:41 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/ThjCr.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 06, 2012, 11:05:21 PM
<phodos> The should reboot batman with Samuel L Jackson as batman

I'd watch it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 06, 2012, 11:52:05 PM
This came up during one of the periodic discussions of characters whose races can be changed (probably when it was announced that Laurence Fishburne was playing Perry White): I think Bruce Wayne has to be a white guy, but I don't think Batman has to be Bruce Wayne.  I think Jackson would be a great Batman.  (Or Jim Gordon.  Or really any number of Bat-characters.  He could really play up the good cop/bad cop aspect of Two-Face, or the B-movie career of Clayface, the just-plain-scary of Killer Croc...hell, now that Earth One has established that Harvey Bullock doesn't have to be a fat guy anymore, Jackson could totally play him, too.)

Course, he's a Marvel/Disney guy for now and I'm perfectly happy with that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 07, 2012, 10:34:35 AM
Quote
This recently discovered folio edition of "Hamlet" follows other known versions closely until Act V, Scene II, where it begins to diverge at line 232, as will be seen:

KING
    ...`Now the king drinks to Hamlet.' Come, begin, And you the judges, bear a wary eye.

Trumpets sound. HAMLET and LAERTES take their stations

HAMLET:
    Come on, sir.
LAERTES:
    Come, my lord.

Enter FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY, AND SCOOBY

DAPHNE:
    Wait!
SHAGGY:
    Stop the fight!

HAMLET and LAERTES put up their foils

KING:
    I like this not. Say wherefore you do speak?
FRED:
    Good lord, I pray thee, let thy anger wait.
    For we, in seeking clues, have found the truth
    Behind the strange events of latter days.
VELMA:
    The first clue came from Elsinore's high walls,
    Where, so said Hamlet, Hamlet's ghost did walk.
    Yet though the elder Hamlet met his death,
    And perforce hath been buried in the ground,
    'Tis yet true one would not expect a ghost
    To carry mud upon his spectral boots.
    Yet mud didst Shaggy and his faithful hound
    Espy, with footprints leading to a drop.
    This might, at first, indeed bespeak a ghost...
    Until, when I did seek for other answers,
    I found a great, wide cloth of deepest black
    Discarded in the moat of Elsinore.
    'Tis clear, the "ghost" used this to slow his fall
    While darkness rendered him invisible.
FRED:
    The second clue we found, my lord, was this.
KING:
    It seems to me a portrait of my brother
    In staine'd glass, that sunlight may shine through.
FRED:
    But see, my lord, when placed before a lantern--
KING:
    My brother's ghost!
HAMLET:
    My father!
VELMA:
    Nay, his image.
FRED:
    In sooth, that image caught the Prince's eye
    When he went to confront his lady mother.
    Nor did his sword pierce poor Polonius.
    For Hamlet's blade did mark the castle wall
    Behind the rent made in the tapestry.
    Polonius was murdered by another.
    The knife which killed him entered from behind.
LAERTES:
    But who?
FRED:
    Indeed my lords, that you shall see.
HAMLET:
    And if this ghost was naught but light and air,
    Then what of that which I did touch and speak to?

The GHOST enters.

GHOST:
    Indeed, my son.
SHAGGY:
    Zoinks!
DAPHNE:
    Jenkies!
GHOST:
    Mark them not.
    Thou hast neglected duty far too long.
    Shall this, my murderer, live on unharmed?
    Must I remain forever unavenged?

SCOOBY and SHAGGY run away from the GHOST. SCOOBY, looking backward, runs into a tapestry, tearing it down. As a result, tapestries around the walls collapse, one surrounding the GHOST.

GHOST:
    What?
FRED:
    Good Osric, pray restrain that "ghost",
    That we may reach the bottom of the matter.
    Now let us see who truly walked tonight.

FRED removes the helm and the disguise from the GHOST'S face.

ALL:
    Tis Fortinbras!
FRED:
    The valiant prince of Norway!
FORTINBRAS:
    Indeed it is, and curses on you all!
    This Hamlet's father brought my own to death,
    And cost me all my rightful heritage.
    And so I killed this king, and hoped his son
    Would prove no obstacle to Norway's crown.
    Then Claudius bethought himself the killer
    (As if one might be poisoned through the ear!)
    The brother, not the son, took Denmark's throne,
    And held to Norway with a tighter grip.
    I swore an end to Denmark's royal house.
    I spoke to Hamlet of his uncle's crimes.
    Then killed Polonius to spark Laertes.
    This day, with poison's aid, all might have died,
    And Denmark might have come to me as well
    As my beloved Norway and revenge.
    My scheme blinded them all, as if by fog
    But for these medd'ling kids and this their dog.

KING:
    The villain stands confessed. Now let us go.
    For much remains to us to be discussed.
    And suitable reward must needs be found
    For these, our young detectives and their hound.

EXEUNT OMNES.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Shinra on December 07, 2012, 10:49:49 AM
Quote
He turned his attention to the larger mirror in the wall, and ejaculated in amazement.
Peering over his shoulder, Conan grunted.

Language was different in the 1930s.  :nyoro~n:
 

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 07, 2012, 11:18:55 AM
(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2011/10/cap03.jpg) (http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/10/05/bizarro-back-issues-captain-marvel-and-the-peace-ray-1946/)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 07, 2012, 11:27:16 AM
Quote
Thad

OK, so there are these old dudes out in space who are like responsible for everything in the universe? And all the rules of reality are written on 3x5 cards pinned to a corkboard? But then the cards fall off and they put them back up really fast but they make mistakes? Like "milk = green" and "paper = heavy" and "gravity = more sort of up"?

This is what went through Otto Binder's brain EVERY DAY.

Like sometimes Dr. Sivana accidentally invents something that would benefit mankind. He's got a vault where he locks all that away. Like a machine that makes food out of rocks. He ACCIDENTALLY invented one.

Captain Marvel's world is so ****ed up, Jimmy Olsen looks at it and says "Wow that's pretty ****ed up!"

--Thad (no not that one, a different one)

:oic:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 07, 2012, 11:34:23 AM
Quote from: Thad
...oh good, I was really confused for a minute there.

Because that SOUNDS like something I would say...

Yeah there's at least one other Thad who posts things in the CA comments.

(And for awhile there was a third one, but that was just a troll trying to irritate me.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on December 07, 2012, 09:03:14 PM
Quote
This recently discovered folio edition of "Hamlet" follows other known versions closely until Act V, Scene II, where it begins to diverge at line 232, as will be seen:

I need a source for this pronto.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 07, 2012, 09:53:53 PM
This was the link I got: http://www.cord.edu/faculty/sprunger/e315/hamlet.html (http://www.cord.edu/faculty/sprunger/e315/hamlet.html)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 09, 2012, 06:54:05 PM
<Crunchums> I think the oxford comma is a good thing
<Crunchums> it removes ambiguity (although to be fair, sometimes that ambiguity is hilarious); consider
<Crunchums> highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on December 11, 2012, 04:25:27 AM
[7:11] <Stush> Jesus christ
[7:11] <Stush> How can such a tiny kitty fart this badly?
[7:11] <Nifle> It's always about money, Stush.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 11, 2012, 07:57:38 PM
<Brentai> Square's idea of RTS is Heroes of Mana.
<+Aoko> Mana
<+Aoko> where
<+Aoko> mana
<+Aoko> man amana
<+Aoko> i hear mana
<Brentai> In my pants.
* +Aoko lights it on fire
<Brentai> WHY WOULD YOU BURN MANA
<beatbandito> She tapped too many lands.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 13, 2012, 06:09:41 AM
Quote
It was 40 years ago when humans last made the effort to visit another heavenly sphere, on the Apollo 17 mission that launched on this day in 1972. But astronauts Eugene Cernan and Harrison "Jack" Schmitt didn't just walk on the lunar surface—they also drove around in a dune buggy, and also skipped around while singing songs. Nixon was so angry about this expression of joy that humans were banned from ever visiting the moon again.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 14, 2012, 09:23:19 AM
Quote
[Speaking of the Mayan prophecy] Dmitry Medvedev, the Russian prime minister, even addressed the situation.

"I don't believe in the end of the world," before adding somewhat disconcertingly: "At least, not this year."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on December 14, 2012, 09:57:09 AM
He must have remembered at the last second that he didn't want to offend his Russian Orthodox buddies.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on December 14, 2012, 11:14:39 AM
He must have remembered at the last second that he didn't want to offend his Russian Orthodox buddies.

Obviously. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pussy_Riot)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on December 15, 2012, 06:58:01 AM
[08:55] <zaratustra> uh oh.
[08:55] <zaratustra> my wife is 29.
[08:55] <zaratustra> the countdown begins.
[08:55] <+Esperath> whereas on higher difficulty levels
[08:55] <+Esperath> zara: the baby countdown?
[08:55] <zaratustra> yes
[08:55] <+Esperath> MINDWORMS
[08:55] <beatbandito> And ends when she learns you said that
[08:55] <+Esperath> MINDWORMS EVERYWHERE
[08:55] <beatbandito> (because you will be dead)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 15, 2012, 11:48:18 AM
it's not so much a countdown as an alarm that blares up whenever you see, hear, or think about anything remotely resembling babies

like one time I was eating dinner and WHAM
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on December 15, 2012, 01:38:11 PM
"What's that loud ticking sound?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on December 16, 2012, 07:17:02 PM
I feel like there's a Telltale Heart joke waiting to happen here, but I'm pretty sure no one on the boards skips the sweet meats.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on December 17, 2012, 03:48:29 PM
[6:19] <kashan> My feet are so sore. :(
[6:20] <kashan> Why do I have to walk around the museum, why can't I just sit and have the art come to me?
[6:21] <hngkong> BECAUSE YOU ARE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD?
[6:22] <kashan> I mean, that is probably true, but I have trouble seeing the causal relationship.
[6:25] <beatbandito> You are bad so your feet should feel bad
[6:27] <kashan> I've lived with a car too long. 3 days of walking around in DC and my feet want to kill me.
[6:30] * Guildenstern (~right.s.f@108-247-8-195.lightspeed.frokca.sbcglobal.net) has joined #finalfight
[6:34] <drethelin1> you should go to DLC instead
[6:34] <drethelin1> then you could ride armored horses

eleven minutes of total silence

[6:45] <+Kazz> i'm fat too kashan
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 17, 2012, 05:35:30 PM
Quote
An officially licensed Lemmy figurine has been produced. Available as a "regular" or "special" edition, Lemmy recalls:

"I had to stand on this platform while the camera went around and did the hologram thing and then they made the model, only smaller. They said it's an action figure and I said, 'So, you're gonna put a dick on it?' They said, 'No.' I said, 'Well, then it's not going to get much action then, is it?' A bad name for it, right?"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on December 18, 2012, 07:43:28 AM
[09:42] <@Smiler> oh hey guys apparently the world ends in 3 days or something
[09:42] <JDigital> But I haven't finished my Christmas shopping.
[09:42] <+Esperath> the world ends with you, smiler
[09:42] <SlimeDroid> !haikuocalypse
[09:42] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: I'm melting! MELTING! / what the hell man WHAT THE HELL / It was all a dream.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 19, 2012, 02:51:30 PM
<Mr_Saturn> Hahaha wow i didn't know about the war z's connection to BIG RIGS OVER THE ROAD RACING
<StushSleep> What's the connection?
<StushSleep> You can reverse to infinite speeds?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 20, 2012, 11:28:22 PM
Quote
You know what they say, if life gives you Mayans, make mayonnaise.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 28, 2012, 07:42:42 PM
In reference to someone bringing up Labyrinth:

<phodos> I watched labyrinth two days ago and its still awesome
<arty> Labyrinth | Magic Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xAAGh-3sw0#ws)
<arty> They don't make them like this anymore
<Milo> Well yeah, Jim Henson and David Bowie are dead
<Grak> Wait, David Bowie is not dead.
<phodos> that was a corpse you were having sex with dude
<Milo> Oh, I was thinking of Ziggy Stardust.

 :hurr:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on December 29, 2012, 02:27:09 PM
Quote
samus_aran says:
 George RR Martin looks like Gabe Newell crawled inside of the guy on the Phalanx box.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on January 01, 2013, 01:26:49 PM
[15:25] <Frocto> this went from sex with cute gals to sex with burly black men real fast
[15:25] <Frocto> like all my relationships :(
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 02, 2013, 10:25:46 AM
<Vance> Why am I seeing Silent Hill 2 as a sitcom now? James all coming home with a bag of groceries, in his apartment hallway when the Otherworld change comes. He sighs, balances the groceries on his knee, unlocks and opens the door. There's Pyramid Head raping a monster on the counter. AGAIN.
<zara2> PYRAMID HEEEEAD
<zara2> laughtrack
<maou> oh, that pyramid head.
<zara2> HELLO JAMES
<zara2> do you have to do that on the kitchen counter
<zara2> FEELS GOOD MAN
<maou> no, no
<maou> pyramid head is a near 1:1 match to kramer except instead of eating random food out of his pantry, he's butchering people on the counter.
<Vance> Also less racial epithets
<maou> well, of course.
<maou> pyramid head is a lot of things but he's not a bigot.
<maou> I love the episode where pyramid head falls asleep in a pool of boiling blood, only to wake up and find that it's cooled to body-temperature.
<@Friday> Personally I thought the episodes where Mary guest starred were the best
<@Friday> especially the twist when it's revealed that she was only a figment of James' imagination the whole time
<@Friday> And casting Eddie as the pizza delivery guy, genius!
<SlimeDroid> The final episode reveals it was reality tv with dog as the executive producer
<@Friday> So it was all your work!
<Vance> Man, if I had the money I'd shoot a five minute pilot of that
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on January 02, 2013, 12:10:12 PM
[13:55] <zara2> once a hobo on a US laundromat cussed me out because I used a quarter on a barely working OutRun arcade instead of giving him money
[13:55] <Vance> Nice
[13:56] <Vance> Where in the US was this?
[13:59] <zara2> uhhhhh
[13:59] <zara2> Austin, I think.
[14:07] <Sede> are you prepared to provide me with equivalent satisfaction as an OutRun playthrough would fill me with??
[14:08] <zara2> I guess he could make the same noises
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 03, 2013, 07:41:40 AM
Quote from: VodalianStallion
True story:
I was reading a Magic the Gathering:Shadowmage comic when I was younger, and my mom and her friend interrupted me.
"Who is the woman with the big boobs?" they asked, pointing to the female planeswalker, "Is she your girllllfriend?"
Then they went back to drinking wine.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on January 03, 2013, 08:25:34 PM
<Shana>: okay give me more things to put into Friday
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on January 03, 2013, 10:03:13 PM
<Lady> our stomachs are like artists
<Lady> they get mad about some small detail
<Lady> throw the whole work out the window
<Lady> next day
<Lady> spend 20 hours finely crafting a miraculous piece of shit
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 10, 2013, 12:33:46 PM
<doug> By 2100, everyone will be cloud computing at all times from a tiny earbud
<KingRamz> [<doug> earbud]
<KingRamz> I hate that movie
<KingRamz> with the dog
<doug> Benji?
<KingRamz> No, Beethoven
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 14, 2013, 07:03:48 PM
 [23:53] <prolopsi> was the sphere story apocryrphal
[23:53] <prolopsi> or actually real
[23:53] <Kelvandil> what story?
[23:53] <@wrath__> sphere of safety is broken
[23:53] <@wrath__> and locked out some person
[23:53] <prolopsi> supposedly the nuclear fuel they were using were spheres
[23:54] <prolopsi> and maybe some other dangerous, critical hardware
[23:54] <prolopsi> but they didn't look dangeorus otherwise
[23:54] <prolopsi> so they just had a rule that anything sphere-shaped was presumed dangerous
[23:55] <prolopsi> and there was a ban on non-dangerous spheres to prevent false positives
[23:55] <@wrath__> !name=the spheres
[23:55] <Datatog> Snare the Skies {G} |Instant| Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains reach until end of turn. · AVR-C,Vin,Leg,Mod,Ext,Std,Cla,ISDBC,NewStd
[23:55] <Seeker> I have never heard that one before
[23:55] <Seeker> doesn't mean it's false
[23:55] <Draconis> nuclear fuel would generally be rods I think?
[23:55] <Draconis> actual nuke cores would be spherical
[23:55] <Seeker> they used pure platinum as a doorstop iirc
[23:55] <Rylinks> depends on the nuke
[23:56] <Seeker> the devil's core was spherical but that is literally all I know about nukes so
[23:56] <prolopsi> One weapons scientist explained to me how he breached security at Los Alamos simply by bringing a sack lunch into the plutonium facility. He left his lunch on his office desk and stepped out for a minute. He came back to find a commotion. A security officer informed him that the orange he left on his desk was, in fact, a classified object.
[23:56] <Seeker> lol
[23:56] <Seeker> NO ORANGES
[23:56] <prolopsi> He learned that any spherical object became a nuclear secret once it passes over the line demarcating the secure from the open areas of the laboratory, as it could be taken as a model for the plutonium pit that drives a nuclear weapon.
[23:56] <Draconis> did you hear what he said next
[23:57] <Draconis> ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T BRING AN APPLE

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 14, 2013, 08:23:47 PM
Wouldn't that make your nuts a classified military secret?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on January 15, 2013, 03:34:06 PM
<Mr_Saturn|PC> myew   by law of averages, somebody's last words were "space jam"
<myew> Mr_Saturn|PC: You were in a situation that's like "oh shit, i need to prove you have a lot of words.
<Silversong> I've had Scrabble games like that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on January 17, 2013, 06:08:08 AM
<zarawesome> twerking is how teenagers praise their demon lord
<zarawesome> yolo the once-living
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 17, 2013, 09:19:53 AM
<UberMex> Last time I was in Louisville, there was a HUUUGE banner of Col. Sanders on the side of an entire building downtown.
<UberMex> I hope his reign is benevolent.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on January 17, 2013, 05:58:43 PM
(7:54:29 PM) mint_frog: You can delay baby fever with a puppy or kitten, but there is no cure
(7:54:32 PM) mint_frog: trust me I tried
(7:54:44 PM) facialimpediment: welp
(7:55:00 PM) mashed: vasectomy
(7:55:07 PM) facialimpediment: won't help\
(7:55:19 PM) facialimpediment: they will just find someone to fulfill their baby fever
(7:55:21 PM) dr._bones: I wanna get a vasectomy
(7:55:24 PM) facialimpediment: and it won't be you!
(7:55:28 PM) mashed: good point
(7:55:34 PM) dr._bones: you just don't tell them
(7:55:42 PM) dr._bones: so they keep having sex with you a lot
(7:55:49 PM) dr._bones: trying and trying to get you to put a baby in them
(7:55:57 PM) wales_grey: twenty twenty twenty four hours ago-aho, I wanna be castrated
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 30, 2013, 09:29:50 AM
<IBA> I just watched Birth of a Nation
<IBA> apparently it was super racist.
<glocks4interns> I've only seen clips but... yeah.
<Nguyen> Yeah watched that for a film class.
<Nguyen> It did a lot of things in a new way for the time and still has a grand sense to it that other movies of the time probably didn't share.
<Nguyen> However, there are many groans, "oh dear," and very nervous laughter moments to be had.
<Mongrel> <quote><Nguyen> However, there are many groans, "oh dear," and very nervous laughter moments to be had.
<Mongrel> So
<Mongrel> like Django.
<glocks4interns> My understanding is that Django is a prequel to Birth of a Nation.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on February 07, 2013, 07:14:38 PM
<Friday> "games aren't art because they didnt exist as a medium to express art when i was a kid"
<Friday> "x isn't art because x didn't exist as a medium to express art when i was a kid"
<Friday> when we're old it'll be the mind worms
<Friday> we'll claim the mind worms aren't art
<Friday> at least
<Friday> until they get to us
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on February 09, 2013, 02:02:40 PM
[03:07:05] <Yahtzee> This is the only chat room I've come to more than once. I feel
  comfortable here.
[03:07:17] <Nimduin> You shouldn't.  We don't like you.
[03:07:22] <Yahtzee> That's why.
[03:07:26] <memo> But don't feel bad. We don't like anyone else, either.
[03:07:34] <Nimduin> Except Sakura.
[03:07:37] * Nimduin swoons
[03:07:38] <memo> Especially each other, and ESPECIALLY especially ourselves.
[03:07:40] <Xerox> Friday.
[03:07:49] * Xerox swoons.
[03:08:10] <Xerox> The rest of you can burn in hell though.
[03:08:16] <memo> We're also willing to elevate Sharkey up to "passive neutrality" status.
[03:08:25] <Yahtzee> Feel free to dislike me. Everyone who writes to me about my website
  or the games I write just say how great I am. Where's the constructive criticism?
[03:08:30] <memo> And all the other ops, too, but only because we don't often feel like
  getting kickbanned.
[03:08:49] <Nimduin> All of them except Brentai, anyway.
[03:09:12] <memo> But not Sharkey. For him, our neutral acquaintanceship and passive
  attitude is sincere and heartfelt.

putting this here so the next time someone goes "Yahtzee came to #ff and we were mean to him?" I don't have to dig through like 5000 memo quotes to find it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on February 09, 2013, 02:28:39 PM
From that snippet it sounds like we weren't mean ENOUGH for his tastes.  Must be an indie dev thing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on February 09, 2013, 02:38:15 PM
The fast-spoken man came to #ff, and he knew the name of the king.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on February 10, 2013, 05:50:12 PM
Quote
Nowadays most people wouldn't even be fazed if it was revealed that Dredd spent his nights jacking off to his copy of The Law. That sort of thing is relatively normal.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on February 13, 2013, 12:39:55 PM
http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/fife/msps-say-urban-dictionary-s-description-of-kirkcaldy-is-no-laughing-matter-1.68539 (http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/fife/msps-say-urban-dictionary-s-description-of-kirkcaldy-is-no-laughing-matter-1.68539)

Quote
Politicians say Urban Dictionary’s description of Kirkcaldy is no laughing matter

MSPs David Torrance and Claire Baker are disgusted by the depiction of the town on the Urban Dictionary site, which provides definitions of colloquial terms.
On it, Kirkcaldy is defined as “a community in the same way a prison island for the criminally insane is also a community.”

The post continues: “It is situated along the rusted trolley-ridden coastline of the county of Fife in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Scotland.

“Local pastimes include heroin, alcoholism, pregnancy, begging and aggressive homophobia and racism.”

However, it is the description of the townsfolk that has caused the most offence.

It says: “For the most part, the people of Kirkcaldy are contorted and inbred psychopaths who sound like pirates and smell of cigars and damp socks.”

Mr Torrance said that even if the post was meant as a joke, it was unacceptable at a time when he and others were trying to promote Kirkcaldy as a place to live and create jobs.

EDIT: Oh man, a guy I know at work was born in Kirkcaldy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on February 13, 2013, 12:50:46 PM
While he's there, someone should tell him to look up "Streisand Effect".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Niku on February 13, 2013, 01:34:25 PM
EDIT: Oh man, a guy I know at work was born in Kirkcaldy.

Were his jokes rather ribaldry?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on March 01, 2013, 02:59:20 PM
[16:54] <+Esperath> HEY R^2'S FIANCEE
[16:54] <beatbandito> she never posts on the boards anymore so we can't
[16:54] <+Esperath> HE ONLY LOVES YOU FOR THE HAPPY ENDINGS
[16:54] <+Miu> Hey Mrs A, R^2 wants a massage with a handjob
[16:55] <brontozara2> when he said he wanted their story to have a happy ending
[16:55] <brontozara2> he did not mean what you think it meant
[16:55] <brontozara2> he meant sex
[16:56] <+Miu> He wants to put his breadroll in her oven and have it rise.
[16:56] <+Miu> ...hrm.
[16:56] <+Miu> Needs work
[16:56] <@Smiler> well yeah
[16:56] <@Smiler> thats why it goes in the oven
[16:57] <+Esperath> the fact that it doesn't rise until it's in the oven
[16:58] <+Esperath> is sort of weird
[16:58] <+Esperath> well, it's completely flaccid, let me cram it in there
[16:58] <+Esperath> SO SEXY
[16:58] <@Smiler> #yolo
[16:58] <+Esperath> you only levitra once
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on March 03, 2013, 01:34:43 AM
Quote
it's good that we're focusing on keeping kids healthy these days because we were dangerously close to a cereal that only had marshmallow bits

I mean yeah you can go ahead and buy them in bulk but there's not a big box in the cereal aisle that's like OOPS! ALL DIABETES
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on March 07, 2013, 10:15:13 PM
[00:13] <@Romosome> augh
[00:13] <@Romosome> I'm struggling with vector spaces
[00:13] <@Romosome> okay someone hear me out
[00:13] <@Romosome> we define a set as R^3 with the following operations
[00:14] <+Esperath> we define a set as R^2 with the following operations: disable car
[00:14] <+Esperath> remove girlfriend
[00:14] <+Esperath> drain bank account
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on March 07, 2013, 10:19:42 PM
My dog died, too. ::(:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 08, 2013, 04:00:36 PM
I'm not normally one for OMG CELEBRITY NOOZ, but this is too good not to share:

Quote
Strange behaviour by Cuba Gooding Jr.: At some film-screening party in New York, the actor was going around identifying himself as “Dick McWilly” and babbling incoherently, the N.Y. Post reports.

“I just got out of jail,” he told one woman. “I had sex with a leprechaun, who had sex with an alligator and got him pregnant. No, I’m lying — the alligator wasn’t pregnant,” etc.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on March 08, 2013, 04:56:57 PM
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Malikial on March 08, 2013, 05:03:29 PM
Cocaine spider supports this statement.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on March 10, 2013, 12:37:24 AM
00:34   <Esperath>: oh god
00:34   <Esperath>: there's some serious roleplay going on in the youtube comments here
00:34   <Esperath>: Neon Genesis Evangelion OP (FULL) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kFhPVAhV_o#)
00:34   <nyao>: YOUTUBE: Neon Genesis Evangelion OP (FULL) :-D:-D:-D
00:35   <Aoko>: All I see are hurrs and derps, Esperath
00:35   <Esperath>: it's like ten pages
00:35   <Esperath>: of asuka and kaworu
00:35   <Esperath>: and shinji
00:35   <Esperath>: scroll down until around 11 hours ago
00:35   <Aoko>: Yeah I just see like fifty pages of "Asuka Langley Soryu" herp herp hurr durr durr durr durr durr durr durr hurr derp hurr derp hurr derp hurr hurr hurr hurr derp derp derp durr derp derp derp
00:35   <Esperath>: ...that's pretty much how asuka sounds yes
00:36   <Aoko>: It's that youtube comment improver
00:36   <Aoko>: This is amazing
00:36   <Esperath>: the trick to good roleplay on youtube is find a character that basically sounds like youtube comments anyway
00:36   <Esperath>: hahahaha
00:36   <Esperath>: you had it on?
00:36   <Aoko>: Yes
00:36   <Aoko>: So I'm seeing 11 pages of "Asuka" herp herp durr hurr derp"
00:36   <Aoko>: It's just like rewatching evangelion
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on March 10, 2013, 06:37:11 AM
<Stush> I wonder what the rest of the world is like in Demolition man.
<Stush> Does australia accept refugees from america who want to be able to swear?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 10, 2013, 07:56:12 PM
<DS> what is a runway miniskirt?
<DS> Is it a miniskirt with a runway printed on it that make sit look like you are supposed to land a plane in the girls vagina, or something else

Now all I can think of is "RRrrraaoowwwwwwwwww... here comes the aiiiirrrplane!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on March 12, 2013, 12:04:07 AM
<Brentai> Hmph.  All the Miis on this screen are all gathered in their little circles and mine's just standing around in the center looking lost.
<Brentai> Thanks for simulating my life, Nintendo.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on March 12, 2013, 07:33:52 AM
Aw c'mon man, my Flagstaff peeps totally adopted you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on March 12, 2013, 09:53:42 AM
Yeah, the timing of that comment's a little weird given that last weekend is practically the first time that didn't happen.  That Miiverse homescreen is just so specifically laid out to look like a high school kid's social nightmare.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on March 12, 2013, 11:43:00 AM
I have never wanted a WiiU more than right now.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on March 17, 2013, 04:16:01 PM
<@Silversong> So, what are the odds of me caring for someone with the flu all weekend and not getting it myself?
<JDigital> WITH COURAGE WE CAN MAKE IT 100%
<@Silversong> I have courage and gummy vitamins.
<@Cait> Vitamins don't really do anything against the flu.
<@Silversong> ssshhhhh
<@Cait> !haiku
<Upth> Haiku Novicework: I'm not strong enough / Vitamins and minerals / Period. The end.
<@Cait> :D
<@Silversong> ....hax
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on March 30, 2013, 07:47:59 PM
Quote
As for hot glue guns; I had one explode in my hand last december. It was one of those cheap affairs though. You know; the ones that are cheaper to buy packaged together with a full box of refills, than it is to buy a seperate box of refills. This one apparently did not like the extra pressure I put on the glue stick with my thumb ( I had already ruined the trigger mechanism previously). So all of a sudden, it did not produce any more molten glue from its muzzle, even though I was still pushing in an entire glue stick, which went in like butter.

But before I realized that that molten glue was not disappearing, but had to go somewhere, it went where it shouldn't go, and shorted out the electrical components inside. A very loud cracking bang was the result, which split the housing, spraying almost an entire glue stick worth of hot glue over my hands and chest. It also created a huge, blue spark, which was extra visible, as the short circuit also blew the fuse, leaving me in pitch black darkness (as I usually hobby at night).

So, now I'm another couple of small burn scars (on my lower arms and backs of my hands mostly; my shirt protected my torso) richer, and one hot glue gun poorer.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 16, 2013, 09:27:27 AM
Quote
14:26   prolspo   https://twitter.com/okcupid/status/324225361384722432
14:26   prolspo   i don't know what this means
14:26   Peebles1   jerry meehan ‏@jerrrymeehan 5m
14:26   Peebles1   @okcupid hahaha you guys should accept my middle finger cus for the last 3 years i met absolutely insane girls off ur website! Woohoo!
14:26   llarack   'Misha Gurevich ‏@drethelin 22s  @AzyxA @okcupid @wizards_magic it's a joke about them accepting bitcoins'
14:28   prolspo   that checks out

Bonus laughs, because I saw Dreth mentioned on a totally unrelated-to-Brontoforums-at-all site.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 16, 2013, 03:11:17 PM
<joxam> so i used to think that vignette was a tiny vinyard
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: JDigital on April 21, 2013, 10:43:15 AM
<zaratustra> Twenty-three Brazilian police officers were sentenced to 156 years in jail each on Sunday
<zaratustra> that's a lot of police officers
<Vance> What did they do to anger you?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on April 22, 2013, 12:34:27 PM
they made an indie game about death where you play as a dot and there is somber music
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on April 24, 2013, 04:12:19 PM
<Mongrel> The one true universal human constant:
<Mongrel> http://www-robotics.jpl.nasa.gov/images/mer2-590.jpg (http://www-robotics.jpl.nasa.gov/images/mer2-590.jpg)
<QED2> drawing the green lantern symbol is the one true universal human constant?
<Mongrel> Look harder.
<Draconis> It's a sailboat!
<QED2> lol i legit did not see it, well done
<burboy> I like the fact that you saw a gl symbol first
<Mongrel> To hell with stuff like the Voyager disks.
<Mongrel> If the earth is cleansed by fire tomorrow, it's okay, we reached out our hand as far as we possibly could and scrawled the one crude epitaph that'll tell any visiting aliens all they'll ever need to know about us.
<Quasius> Unfortunately, Mars has atmospheric weather. :(((
<Quasius> We need to get started on the Moon Penis Project immediately.
<QED2>  Lunar? I barely even know 'er!
<Iteration> I don't understand that picture and also don't feel like staring at it until I do
<DeathSquiggle> It's a cock and balls 
<Iteration> how droll
<DeathSquiggle> On mars
<Iteration> oh that's pretty good then
<burboy> also apparently one of the balls is a green lantern
<DeathSquiggle> I want to read about the comic book character who is just a regular guy except one of his balls is a green lantern
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on May 02, 2013, 02:55:52 AM
[10:43] <@Friday> if I could only give one tip for the bedroom, it'd be "talk to him/her"
[10:43] <@Friday> "and not dirty"
[10:43] <@Friday> "though that's ok too"
[10:43] <@Friday> "make graphs and charts if required"
[10:44] <@Friday> "use plastic figures on wargamer terrain if required"
[10:44] <zara2> tattoo a walkthrough on the thigh
[10:44] <@Friday> "Hex is generally considered superior to squares"
[10:44] <zara2> IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE AT ABOUT THE RIGHT DISTANCE
[10:44] <@Friday> "Attack from the rear or flank for bonus damage"
[10:45] <zara2> do you know about timed hits
[10:45] <@Friday> when the woman's core opens, shoot
[10:47] <@Friday> fire is weak to ice
[10:47] <zara2> would it help if I made an ipad game
[10:48] <@Friday> when two orgasms happen at the same time, the female's orgasm goes on the stack, then the males, resolve them in that order
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 02, 2013, 04:29:35 AM
Quote
I love Meat Loaf - not so much his political leanings. He wanted his fans to vote Romney in 2012. Well, I'd do anything for Loaf, but I wont do that.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on May 04, 2013, 06:13:53 AM
[14:08] <Vance> http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/04/30/1205911/-Conservatives-less-likely-to-buy-same-lightbulbs-if-you-tell-them-it-will-help-the-environment (http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/04/30/1205911/-Conservatives-less-likely-to-buy-same-lightbulbs-if-you-tell-them-it-will-help-the-environment)
[14:12] <zara2> it is my right as an american to destroy the environment
[14:13] <@Smiler> what has the environment ever done for me?
[14:13] <Vance> Nothing. It just sits around collecting CO2 welfare
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on May 05, 2013, 01:38:42 AM
<fleece> controversial study reveals: people like pretty things more than ugly things
<sede> says pretty blonde news reporter
<sede> now on to the ugly weather dude
<sede> *everyone groans*
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on May 05, 2013, 10:54:55 AM
Quote
Why does the hipster keep burning his mouth?
[spoiler]He eats all his food way before it's cool.[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on May 06, 2013, 01:03:57 PM
[10:03p] <zarawesome> I know how to play dota
[10:03p] <zarawesome> you choose a dude
[10:03p] <zarawesome> and then everyone calls you a fag
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on May 11, 2013, 11:33:15 AM
<@Squizzle> Basically, murder people for salt now, because everyone will be murdering for salt later. You want to get in on the ground floor of saline homicide, and use your riches to purchase protection.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on May 11, 2013, 11:51:03 AM
Quote from: VodalianStallion
True story:
I was reading a Magic the Gathering:Shadowmage comic when I was younger, and my mom and her friend interrupted me.
"Who is the woman with the big boobs?" they asked, pointing to the female planeswalker, "Is she your girllllfriend?"
Then they went back to drinking wine.


this quote still haunts me because it reminds me that bullies have children
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on May 12, 2013, 01:36:30 PM
Quote
Virtuarailith: I would watch an moe~ anime if it starred the G-Unit
Rglaive: uguuu-nit
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on May 17, 2013, 03:41:03 AM
Quote
kottke.org posts about Bluebeard

The three types of specialist  MAY 16 2013
From a passage of Kurt Vonnegut's Bluebeard, the three types of specialists needed for the success of any revolution.

Slazinger claims to have learned from history that most people cannot open their minds to new ideas unless a mind-opening teams with a peculiar membership goes to work on them. Otherwise, life will go on exactly as before, no matter how painful, unrealistic, unjust, ludicrous, or downright dumb that life may be.

The team must consist of three sorts of specialists, he says. Otherwise the revolution, whether in politics or the arts or the sciences or whatever, is sure to fail.

The rarest of these specialists, he says, is an authentic genius -- a person capable of having seemingly good ideas not in general circulation. "A genius working alone," he says, "is invariably ignored as a lunatic."

The second sort of specialist is a lot easier to find: a highly intelligent citizen in good standing in his or her community, who understands and admires the fresh ideas of the genius, and who testifies that the genius is far from mad. "A person like this working alone," says Slazinger, "can only yearn loud for changes, but fail to say what their shapes should be."

The third sort of specialist is a person who can explain everything, no matter how complicated, to the satisfaction of most people, no matter how stupid or pigheaded they may be. "He will say almost anything in order to be interesting and exciting," says Slazinger. "Working alone, depending solely on his own shallow ideas, he would be regarded as being as full of shit as a Christmas turkey."

Slazinger, high as a kite, says that every successful revolution, including Abstract Expressionism, the one I took part in, had that cast of characters at the top -- Pollock being the genius in our case, Lenin being the one in Russia's, Christ being the one in Christianity's.

He says that if you can't get a cast like that together, you can forget changing anything in a great big way.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 17, 2013, 03:56:16 AM
:sharkey: :thad: :kazz:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on May 17, 2013, 04:26:23 AM
So which of you is in good standing?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on May 28, 2013, 02:25:02 PM
20:17   <R^2>: In an unexpected twist of events, I have a cheese souffle in the oven.
20:20   <Elfin>: Why is that unexpected, R^2? It just appeared?
20:20   <Brentai>: It's stalking him.
20:21   <Vance>: He was making a fruitcake
20:21   <Esperath>: the twist was that he was brushing his dog's fur
20:22   <Esperath>: and out popped a cheese souffle
20:22   <Vance>: Just like Harvest Moon
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Smiler on May 29, 2013, 04:27:52 AM
<+Aoko> "Final Fantasy Tactics S lets players recruit a clan of warriors and face off against others online in nine-on-nine battles. Characters can assume up to 300 jobs, most of which are taken from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance and its sequel, Final Fantasy Tactics A2. Two new vocations appear in Tactics S, however: the Musician and the Air Samurai. "
<+Aoko> "Air Samurai"
<@Friday> Air Bud discovers he has the uncanny ability to seppuku
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on May 29, 2013, 12:13:16 PM
Warrior Jumper
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on May 30, 2013, 08:02:45 AM
[01:50:52pm -7] <+Aoko> ...
[01:50:54pm -7] <+Aoko> The TENCHI MOVIES
[01:50:59pm -7] <+Aoko> Wait no you guys saw the best (worst) one already
[01:51:18pm -7] <+Aoko> Wait did you guys see the one where he gets laid by a tree, or the one where his 12 year old future daughter licks his nipples to put him into a coma
[01:51:23pm -7] <Neeerds> We didn't see the one where Tenchi almost fucks his daughter
[01:51:43pm -7] <Caithness> the tree one, Aoko
[01:51:46pm -7] <@patito> aoko, isn't that the same movie?
[01:51:46pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> i dont care unless he's giving Ryoko the D
[01:52:08pm -7] <@Romosome> Lyrai
[01:52:13pm -7] <+Aoko> patito: No, there's three Tenchi movies
[01:52:20pm -7] <@Romosome> I'll kill you
[01:52:21pm -7] <@patito> but yeah, it was the tree movie
[01:52:27pm -7] <+Aoko> The first one is kind of just "Anime movie." Something happens, and in the end, it's erased from the timeline so it never bothers the TV canon
[01:52:40pm -7] <@Romosome> is that the one where he wants to bang his mom
[01:52:42pm -7] <+Aoko> The second one involves a crazy tree demon stealing his sperm, making a daughter, sending her back in time to seduce him.
[01:52:42pm -7] <@patito> haha, tenchi movie TV canon
[01:52:44pm -7] <@patito> that's hilarious
[01:52:45pm -7] <+Aoko> This involves licking his nipples.
[01:52:47pm -7] <Upthorn> which is good, because it couldn't decide which canon it wanted to be part of
[01:52:50pm -7] <Caithness> i have seen the daughter movie on my own
[01:52:51pm -7] <@Romosome> wait
[01:52:57pm -7] <@Romosome> there's TWO tenchi movies about incest?
[01:52:59pm -7] <+Aoko> The third one involves a tree woman sucking him into the future, and we see tenchi get laid a buncho f times on screen
[01:53:10pm -7] <+Aoko> Romosome: Tecnhically, they're all about incest.
[01:53:16pm -7] <+Aoko> Just varying degrees
[01:53:17pm -7] <@Romosome> how is the third one about incest
[01:53:21pm -7] <Upthorn> Technically, Aeka was always his aunt.
[01:53:28pm -7] <@patito> there's at least two involving trees apparently
[01:53:29pm -7] <+Aoko> Because the tree woman was his grandfather's old flame or something
[01:53:38pm -7] <+Aoko> Let's just air them all on OH so we can discuss it
[01:54:00pm -7] <@Romosome> did I miss a Love Hina movie where he sequentially bangs everyone too or something
[01:54:05pm -7] <Upthorn> and washu is possibly technically his mother?
[01:54:13pm -7] <+Aoko> Upthorn: OH MAN
[01:54:16pm -7] <@Romosome> my perpetual hatred of idiotic formulaic harem anime was mostly because it was so wishywashy
[01:54:16pm -7] <+Aoko> Oh man I JUST REMEMBERED
[01:54:18pm -7] <myew> They technically have the thing is you can possibly think of something to go on sunday.
[01:54:19pm -7] <@Romosome> nobody ever gets laid
[01:54:19pm -7] <+Aoko> Okay
[01:54:22pm -7] <+Aoko> According to the OAV3
[01:54:25pm -7] <+Aoko> Tenchi is technically God
[01:54:27pm -7] <Upthorn> hahaha, a love hina movie where they all get laid would be awesome
[01:54:30pm -7] <+Aoko> So Tenchi is veryone's father
[01:54:30pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> Romosome: the only choices were Kitsune or delicious brown girl
[01:54:32pm -7] <+Aoko> Technically
[01:54:38pm -7] <@Romosome> Lyrai: what happens if he bangs haruhi
[01:55:20pm -7] <@patito> romo, eventually he'll travel in time to fuck that daughter too
[01:55:24pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> Tenchi's family tree is dangerous levels of WHAT
[01:55:58pm -7] <Upthorn> Tenchi's family tree looks very much like the magnetic field lines surrounding the average star.
[01:56:16pm -7] <+Aoko> Okay, basically
[01:56:18pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> binary star
[01:56:20pm -7] <@Romosome> I'm sorry the correct answer was "god knows" thanks for playing
[01:56:33pm -7] <+Aoko> At ten thousand or more years in the future, a crazy event happens, and the goddesses need to stop it
[01:56:38pm -7] * @patito slow clap
[01:56:43pm -7] <+Aoko> So through time travel, Tenchi is the reincarnation of this superdiety
[01:56:47pm -7] <@Smiler> and they need to fuck tenchi
[01:56:52pm -7] <+Aoko> Except because of their tactions, Tenchi is also father to the entire universe
[01:56:56pm -7] <myew> Tenchi was pretty much exactly what the fuck they wanted.
[01:56:57pm -7] <@Romosome> SUPER deity
[01:57:00pm -7] <+Aoko> In a reincarnated sense
[01:57:04pm -7] <@Romosome> AND THIS IS TO GO
[01:57:06pm -7] <+Aoko> So basically, Tenchi Muyo is a show about incest
[01:57:07pm -7] <@Romosome> EVEN FURTHER BEYOND
[01:57:14pm -7] <@Romosome> so
[01:57:15pm -7] <+Aoko> ROMOSOME IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT
[01:57:17pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> Spaghetti family tree
[01:57:18pm -7] <+Aoko> THIS IS INCEST
[01:57:18pm -7] <@Romosome> they could've localized the show
[01:57:21pm -7] <+Aoko> THIS IS SUPER INCEST
[01:57:23pm -7] <@Romosome> as Who's Your Daddy
[01:57:26pm -7] <+Aoko> THIS IS INCEST, BEYOND THE NORMAL INCEST
[01:57:28pm -7] <+Aoko> AND THIS
[01:57:30pm -7] <+Aoko> IS TO GO
[01:57:31pm -7] <+Aoko> EVEN
[01:57:32pm -7] <+Aoko> FURTHER
[01:57:33pm -7] <+Aoko> DEEPER
[01:57:40pm -7] <Upthorn> YOURS IS THE INCEST THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
[01:57:43pm -7] <@Romosome> *screaming and grunting for 10 minutes straight*
[01:57:50pm -7] <@Romosome> *shocked onlookers worldwide*
[01:57:52pm -7] <+Aoko> Which is exactly how I picture Tenchi having sex
[01:58:14pm -7] <@patito> man, I really liked tenchi
[01:58:19pm -7] <@patito> what is wrong with me
[01:58:19pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> And you cant have a threeway with washu and ryoko without severe feelings of ICK
[01:58:22pm -7] <+Aoko> patito: I like it too
[01:58:24pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> :S
[01:58:27pm -7] <@Romosome> Saturn
[01:58:29pm -7] <+Aoko> I just
[01:58:29pm -7] <@Romosome> why not
[01:58:38pm -7] <Mr_Saturn|PC> Washu is ryoko's MOM
[01:58:38pm -7] <@patito> well, I said, liked
[01:58:42pm -7] <Nodal> came
[01:58:44pm -7] <+Aoko> Am willing to point out how hilariously 90s stupid it's storyline is, and how it's a great case study for why you should be more coherent
[01:58:47pm -7] <@patito> I'm not sure I still like it
[01:58:52pm -7] <+Aoko> Saturn: And Tenchi is both of their fathers
[01:58:52pm -7] <@patito> but I'm not gonna risk it
[01:59:01pm -7] * Mr_Saturn|PC aaaagh my mind
[01:59:21pm -7] * @Romosome eyes saturn
[01:59:22pm -7] <+Aoko> Some part of this tenchi conversation needs to go in the quotes thread
[01:59:24pm -7] <+Aoko> I'm not sure which
[01:59:34pm -7] <+Aoko> Oh god I laughed so hard i hurt myself
[01:59:40pm -7] <Upthorn> just put it all in and let god sort it out
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on May 30, 2013, 06:19:48 PM
<Romosome> christ they're still making Tales games?
<BongoBill> they keep selling and the creative leads actually seem to like them
<BongoBill> so yeah
<BongoBill> they are still making Tales games
<Nodal> Bongobill
<Nodal> I feel like you have just done irreperable harm to the word creative
<BongoBill> Nodal: if nothing else they are really good at coming up with dumb names for incremental gameplay changes
<BongoBill> that takes creativity
<Nodal> No it doesnt, just toss some periods into a random word
<BongoBill> it only looks easy until you try it
<Nodal> Added double jump-powerd specials? The L.E.A.P. system
<BongoBill> what does each letter stand for, though
<Romosome> Let's Eat A Penis
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 02, 2013, 02:34:47 PM
<Zaphod> Yesterday I saw Air Conditioning Man 3, and Star Trek: Into the Air Conditioning.
<Zaphod> They were both an enjoyable 70 degrees.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on June 02, 2013, 03:03:35 PM
Pretty much.

If ever you see me praise a bad summer movie, keep in mind that my point of comparison is, oh, 108 degrees today.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on June 02, 2013, 03:21:36 PM
Las Vegas built a LOT of movie theaters during the boom.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 03, 2013, 04:26:59 AM
Quote from: Neil Gaiman
I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor. She told me, “There’s no masturbation in the DC Universe.” To which my reaction was, “Well that explains a lot about the DC Universe.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on June 05, 2013, 02:47:20 AM
<@Friday> man
<@Friday> why can't waking up be like it is in the movies
<zaratustra> standing stock straight up from a nightmare about your nemesis finding you and killing you?
<@Friday> i wake up with perfect hair and flawless skin and a great smile and feeling fresh
<@Friday> instead i get crazy hair
<@Friday> like guys seriously
<@Friday> this hair
<zaratustra> friday looks like toph waking up
<@Friday> a healthy coating of dirt
* @Friday goes to the spa with Katara
<@Friday> sex with Toph would be really dirty
<@Friday> get it
<zaratustra> the earth moved
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 08, 2013, 12:38:11 AM
This is actually an image + a quote, so it was a coin toss where to put it:

(http://beta.images.theglobeandmail.com/18c/life/celebrity-news/article12336621.ece/ALTERNATES/portrait/MOS03-USA-EXPLOSIONS+RUSSIA.JPG)

Quote
Steven Seagal was in Russia last week, where he helped broker a meeting between Russian and American lawmakers about the threat of Islamic terrorism, and also discussed the possibility of giving a celebrity endorsement to a Russian arms manufacturer whose weapons routinely fall into the hands of Islamic terrorists. None of this caption is made up or intended to be funny.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 25, 2013, 01:00:00 PM
<Aan> The idea of people paying money to watch any kind of coverage of a Magic tournament baffles me
<Aan> and I like watching coverage (when I can be bothered).
<Skeletor> Young people enjoy a good professional magic converge and also don't think that people who make a good professional magic coverage are entitled to their wage
<DeathSquiggle> Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his exposed ass crack ?

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 26, 2013, 10:12:39 AM
Real headline seen in today's local paper: "Bronies, men who dig My Little Pony, feel misunderstood"

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on June 27, 2013, 02:51:14 PM
23:43:10 < beatbandito> This is a lot like violence jack
23:43:11 < BEAT> Pretty good.
23:43:12 < beatbandito> but with less violence
23:43:17 < beatbandito> no wait that other one
23:43:19 < beatbandito> black jack
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 28, 2013, 01:24:23 PM
Okay, it's sort of a Magic joke.

Quote from: Kelvandil
[22:08] <@proplsf> SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) - An immigration officer has been indicted on charges that she took cash and egg rolls as bribes from immigrants seeking citizenship and green cards.
[22:08] <@proplsf> Prosecutors say Nguyen took 200 egg rolls from a citizenship applicant
[22:09] <@proplsf> what's the street value of 200 egg rolls
[22:09] <@proplsf> like $80?
[22:09] <Draconis> right now I could eat quite a lot of those egg rolls
[22:09] <feb31st> lol "street value"
[22:10] <Draconis> I mean
[22:10] <Draconis> were they stuffed with cocaine
[22:10] <Draconis> because otherwise not much
[22:10] <@proplsf> other applicants paid $1000, 2000
[22:10] <@proplsf> so i am guessing the egg roll guy got a deal
[22:10] <Draconis> is the moral of the story that Chinese immigrants are much better at haggling
[22:10] <feb31st> guy walks in, asks lady "what do you put these egg rolls at"
[22:11] <feb31st> she doesn't have a smart phone, hesitates
[22:11] <@proplsf> trades?
[22:11] <feb31st> guys like "how does $2 apiece sound"
[22:11] <feb31st> lady says "sounds fine"
[22:11] <feb31st> guy's like "brb"
[22:11] <@proplsf> anyone got any eggrolls?
[22:11] <@proplsf> trades?
[22:12] <feb31st> eggrolls? eggrolls?
[22:12] <feb31st> you - eggrolls?
[22:12] <@Seeker> lol
[22:12] <smh_> !mopc eggrolls
[22:12] <Datatog> 9 cards similar to "eggrolls" found and sent to smh_.
[22:13] <@proplsf> are you sure? can i look through your takeout binder?
[22:14] <feb31st> "i put this lo mein at 5" "nah man that's shrimp. 6.50"
[22:14] <scribejon> are they NM (not microwaved)
[22:14] <@proplsf> This eggroll is HP at best
[22:15] <@proplsf> it shows wear around the bite mark
[22:15] <JSexton> they are definitely going to reprint these fortune cookies soon and the price will drop. sell while you can
[22:15] <JSexton> evan erwin is touting general tso's as the next big thing
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on June 28, 2013, 11:40:44 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/PmfALso.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on June 29, 2013, 06:08:22 AM
I thought it made female characters get a beard, but apparently girl barbarians mages get bow+beard whether they are gay or not.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on June 29, 2013, 07:56:07 AM
Barbarians get a Skyrim-reference horned helmet, it's the wizards who get gray beards regardless of gender or orientation. It really doesn't change anything at all, not even cosmetically. (As far as I could tell after a bunch of game time, anyway.) In fact, the gay trait is actually pretty good in a way, because it feels like there are more harmful traits than beneficial ones, and it's a lot better to roll one that does nothing than one that, say, flips your screen upside down.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on June 30, 2013, 12:45:04 PM
<Kristopher Wagner> I actually meant to read Mein Kampf about a year ago, haha
<Siegfried1027> I've heard it's really shittily written
<Kazama Fanatic> yeah same lol
<Siegfried1027> if tumblr hated jews
<Siegfried1027> it'd be mein kampf
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on June 30, 2013, 06:27:36 PM
nope
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 01, 2013, 12:34:36 AM
I dunno, ole Adolf seems like exactly the kind of guy who'd post long, rambling, incoherent emo blog post with no paragraph breaks.

Which is not what tumblr is, but you get the idea.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on July 01, 2013, 01:10:31 AM
more like livejournal really

but he did try to go to art school
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on July 01, 2013, 04:00:10 AM
It might be in the dictator DNA.

Quote
Editing constitutes an effective means of creation for the director because of the diverse and leading role it has in interpretation. Even with shots that have the same plot, editing can either make the storyline develop logically and flow naturally or disrupt it so much that the thread of the story can be followed only with difficulty. It is only the director that knows how to use to the full the abundant possibilities for expression that editing provides who can move people by depicting life clearly and convincingly. Throughout the whole course of making the film, the director must not cease to consider the work from the editing point of view for one single moment and must always enhance the part played by editing in interpretation by exploring new possibilities.

That's from Kim Jong-Il's The Cinema and Directing (http://www.korea-dpr.com/lib/209.pdf). Thank you Great Leader for telling movie directors what editing is!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on July 05, 2013, 03:39:08 PM
The "Nope" was me posting something in the wrong place and then hastily editing it out, not any response to Mongrel.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on July 11, 2013, 08:29:22 AM
17:15:26 < Nodal> Why is chivalry so shit
17:15:26 <+BongoBill> because it's dead
17:15:26 <+BongoBill> (chivalry is dead)
17:16:08 < Nodal> I dont get it
17:16:08 < Nodal> Have you considered bolding the joke
17:17:21 <+BongoBill> "chivalry is dead" is a phrase that has been used specifically in the past,
                      to which I made reference with intent to provide a syntactically valid but
                      semantically unrelated (thus useless) response to your question
17:18:01 <+BongoBill> and now I'm hoping to strip-mine what was already a low-grade joke by
                      overexplaining it, causing severe damage to the social environment
17:18:23 <+BongoBill> I'm basically a Captain Planet villain of comedy
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 12, 2013, 05:16:56 AM
<Changeling Bob> I've just noticed I have a bunch of symptoms for jaundice and am freaking out, as the only thing I know about it is that Iain Banks died of cancer diagnosed via jaundice recently,
<Changeling Bob> and I have health anxiety anyway.
<Changeling Bob> NHS direct said that I don't need to be freaking out, so I am attempting to not do that thing.
<Mongrel> Jaundice always makes me think of Tintin.
<Mongrel> You're only really going to get that if you've ever read the Tintin story in question.
<Slearch> Get what?
<Slearch> jaundice?
<Mongrel> Yes. Reading euro comics precipitates horrible diseases.
<Mongrel> For instance, reading Asterix will give you gaulstones.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on July 12, 2013, 07:27:19 AM
Are we allowed to quote ourselves now?  I don't think you want to allow me that precedent.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on July 15, 2013, 11:32:09 AM
It really doesn't change anything at all, not even cosmetically. (As far as I could tell after a bunch of game time, anyway.)

From the wiki: (http://rogue-legacy.wikia.com/wiki/Gay)

"This trait has absolutely no effect on the game - bar changing who greets the player as their lover in the final cutscene, and it also reverses which statue (knight or lady) grants the chicken leg or mana potion in waypoint rooms."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 16, 2013, 04:16:20 PM
Quote from: Teddy Roosevelt
The very last thing an intelligent and self-respecting member of a democratic community should do is to reward any public man because that public man says that he will get the private citizen something to which this private citizen is not entitled, or will gratify some emotion or animosity which this private citizen ought not to possess. Let me illustrate this by one anecdote from my own experience. A number of years ago I was engaged in cattle-ranching on the great plains of the western Unite States. There were no fences. The cattle wandered free, the ownership of each one was determined by the brand; the calves were branded with the brand of the cows they followed. If on a round-up and animal was passed by, the following year it would appear as an unbranded yearling, and was then called a maverick. By the custom of the country these mavericks were branded with the brand of the man on whose range they were found. One day I was riding the range with a newly hired cowboy, and we came upon a maverick. We roped and threw it; then we built a fire, took out a cinch-ring, heated it in the fire; and then the cowboy started to put on the brand. I said to him, "It So-and-so's brand," naming the man on whose range we happened to be. He answered: "That's all right, boss; I know my business." In another moment I said to him: "Hold on, you are putting on my brand!" To which he answered: "That's all right; I always put on the boss's brand." I answered: "Oh, very well. Now you go straight back to the ranch and get whatever is owing to you; I don't need you any longer." He jumped up and said: "Why, what's the matter? I was putting on your brand." And I answered: "Yes, my friend, and if you will steal for me then you will steal from me."

Teddy never ceases to be The Dreamiest.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on July 16, 2013, 06:31:12 PM
<Brentai> Air Bud sticks his cold wet nose in the camera for 10 minutes in BLAIR BUD.
<Utsuho> Air Bud discovers that he looks pretty good in Armani in DEBONAIR BUD
<@Fridaway> Air Bud works under Mike Judge and doesn't have enough enthusiasm for his job in NOT ENOUGH FLAIR BUD
<@Cait> Office Space 2: Flair damn it Friday
<@Fridaway> hahahaha
* Utsuho hi5 Friday
<Brentai> Air Bud does his best impression of Jennifer Connelly in THAT'S NOT FAIR BUD.
<@Fridaway> hahahaha
<Utsuho> Air Bud searches for that one card he needs in RARE BUD
<MetalSlime> you will believe a bear can play basketball
<MetalSlime> Bear Bud
<@Cait> Adventures on the high sea in CORSAIR BUD
<Elfin> Air Bud sets traps for unwitting hikers in SNARE BUD.
<MetalSlime> The man that turned into a basketball playing dog
<MetalSlime> WERE BUD
<@Cait> SNARE BUD sounds more like it should be about him discovering he can play drums
<Utsuho> The vampires thought they had their first victory, but it was stolen from them, in WEREBUD
<Elfin> Air Bud kills Buddy Rich and wears his skin in SNARE BUD>
<MetalSlime> is it echoing in here?
<Brentai> Air Bud won't quit looking at me in STARE BUD.
<@Fridaway> Air Bud moves to the south and starts wearing poofy dresses and drinking marmalade in I DECLARE BUD
<Brentai> Air Bud gets shaved the 90s way in NAIR BUD
<Utsuho> Air Bud shows it all in BARE BUD
<MetalSlime> Air Bud meets a female dog who pretends to despite him him but secretly likes him in TSUNDERE BUD
<Vance> Growing weed illegally in BUD
<Utsuho> MetalSlime: Air Bud j...just had some extra poop lying around in TSUNDERE BUD
<MetalSlime> STOP READING MY MIND
<+BongoBill> me a dog do geometry in SQUARE BUD
<@Fridaway> Air Bud moves to a random cabin in the woods surrounded by wooden poles, hopping monsters, and fairies in I AM ERROR BUD
<+BongoBill> this movie should not have been made: ERR BUD
<+BongoBill> ain't no rule says a dog can't be the first in the line of succession to the throne in HEIR BUD
<+BongoBill> also he got on the ballot somehow in MAYOR BUD
<Utsuho> Air Bud shows you just how true some sayings are in MYTHBUDSTERS
<Utsuho> okay that one sucked I'm sorry
<MetalSlime> you ruined it
<Utsuho> Brentai, give me the gun
<Brentai> Air Bud keeps getting randomly quoted in VAMPIRE HUNTER EXTRAORDINAIRE BUD.
<@Fridaway> God. Damn. Cats.
<Brentai> AIR BUD, CAT HUNTER EXTRAORDINAIRE, LAPPED FROM HIS FINE ENGLISH BOWL AS HE CONTEMPLATED THE FACT THAT HE WAS A FUCKING DOG, AND THUS DID NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD "EXTRAORDINAIRE."
<Brentai> IT WAS 7 IN THE MORNING AND THE SUN WAS DAWNING.  AIR BUD KNEW.  THIS WAS THE WORK OF THE MYSTERIOUS BEING THAT FILLS HIS BOWL FULL OF WATER AND KIBBLES.
<Brentai> THE MYSTERIOUS BEING WHO FILLS HIS BOWL FULL OF WATER AND KIBBLES, OR TMBWFHBFOWAK FOR SHORT, APPEARED SUDDENLY HOLDING A LEASH AND TALKING LIKE A GODDAM IDIOT.  AIR BUD KNEW.  GOD DAMN WALKIES.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 17, 2013, 01:16:10 AM
Quote from: The Winnipeg Free Press
With every cabinet shuffle, there are winners and losers. Monday's overhaul of the federal cabinet by Prime Minister Stephen Harper was no exception.

The list of cabinet shuffle losers from Manitoba is short: Winnipeg MP Steven Fletcher, a junior minister for five years, was dropped altogether. Fletcher is the first quadriplegic elected to the House of Commons, and the first ever appointed to cabinet.

In one of the greatest exit lines ever in Manitoba politics, Fletcher lamented the manner in which he was dropped. "I would have preferred to have left cabinet the traditional way -- with a sex scandal."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on July 20, 2013, 12:23:53 AM
Quote from: http://the-toast.net/2013/07/18/royal-baby-watch/
A source in Buckingham Palace, speaking on condition of anonymity, says that the child will likely be tested with the touch of iron, the sound of harps, and the rays of the sun in order to determine whether it is the genuine offspring of William and Kate or the hideous, grey-skinned progeny of a mischievous lilith, sent to torment the Windsors for neglecting their yearly tithe to Hell.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on July 20, 2013, 05:46:37 AM
wait wouldn't the gray skin be a tipoff without all that other stuff?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on July 20, 2013, 06:56:54 AM
Not sure. Royal children tend to have blood and pigment related health problems.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on July 20, 2013, 07:38:17 AM
Also, y'know, it's British.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on July 23, 2013, 06:27:54 AM
<sede> http://imgur.com/gallery/Us4WAiu (http://imgur.com/gallery/Us4WAiu)  why tumblr needs to be culled even more
<ScootWork> when you think about it, telling people your kid has a penis is a little personal, innit
<ScootWork> it'd be best if children didn't have genitals until they were 18
<zaratustra> when you turn 18 you get a full set of genitalia of both sexes
<koro> Yer a futanari, Harry
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 25, 2013, 09:31:04 AM
Because dick jokes never get old.

<Walkyerdog> Just saw "Dirty Weiner Plunges in Polls," as a headline.
<ReverendBob> Those headline jokes write themselves.
<Burboy> Weiner can't find a hand as aide leaves
<Burboy> Weiner moves forward but hits unexpected wall
<Burboy> As Weiner expands, local women show signs of discomfort
<Burboy> Weiner's surge leaves some with bad taste in mouth
<DeathSquiggle> Inside: Weiner revealed!
<Grant> Questions of sexual misconduct cause Weiner to explode at reporters.
<DeathSquiggle> Irate women loudly proclaim "We've had just about enough Weiner."
<DeathSquiggle> Even amid reports of misconduct, Weiner surprisingly on the rise with the gay community.
<Burboy> Gay community still taking in Weiner, reports say
<Leprosy> Indiana woman reveals pictures of Weiner to public
<Burboy> Weiner seems tired, overworked says mother
<Grant> NYC Pride celebrants just can't get enough Weiner
<Leprosy> Huma can only stand Weiner after months of therapy
<Leprosy> When will dirty pictures of Weiner stop showing up on internet?
<Burboy> Weiner experiences sharp rise, large lead now visable
<ReverendBob> Wiener exposed to public opinion; comes up short
<Walkyerdog> Weiner flopping.
<Grant> Lack of support causes Weiner to flip-flop
<Burboy> Weiner loves public eye, reports local working girls
<Burboy> Black voters unimpressed with white Weiner
<Burboy> Weiner goes stiff as new photos revealed
<Walkyerdog> Rivals grind against Weiner.
<Walkyerdog> Weiner pushes on despite going soft.
<Grant> Not believing in bad publicity, Weiner welcomes controversy: "I want to be on the lips of every New Yorker"
<Planeswalker> NY voters cold, Weiner sees shrinkage.
<Marmalade> Man Who Sends Pictures of His Dick To Strangers Scandalously Revealed To Also Be Running For Political Office
<Starr> Weiner: "I before E except after hours"
<Burboy> good work everyone
<ReverendBob> We should all go out for Schwarma now.
<Leprosy> burboy calls the shots now
<Burboy> when have I not
<Walkyerdog> Weiner promises "to be hardon crime," then retracts, claiming a misquote.
<Leprosy> WALKER BURBOY SAID WE WERE DONE
<Walkyerdog> Apparently he was premature
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 30, 2013, 01:44:25 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/553972_10151831848736995_1401510539_n.jpg)

Now, this is mildly amusing, but look at the article just above.

"Pegatron accused of dumping toxic waste"

:planned:
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 30, 2013, 02:52:48 PM
"Pegatron accused of dumping toxic waste"

(http://i.imgur.com/qhMzva5.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on July 30, 2013, 03:54:05 PM
Like I am picturing Megatron with a plastic Groucho glasses-and-mustache. 

"Oh ho ho ho, no no no... people make that mistake a lot!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 31, 2013, 12:32:56 AM
Or this guy. (http://i.imgur.com/HZYE7UY.jpg) (WARNING: definitely NSFW)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on July 31, 2013, 01:23:31 AM
It took me a while to realize that that wasn't real and that made me sad.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 01, 2013, 06:45:02 AM
[note: UMex is one of the umpty-ump lawyers I know]

<UMex> So someone in my office forgot to report financial data to the feds. As a result, all of my grants are basically bricked.
<Shame> Evidence leads me to believe, that if you take a nap, you will feel better afterwards.
<UMex> That's a good idea.
<UMex> I mean, we have a whole month to fix this before the state's gun control all turns off.
<Mongrel> Wait... what are you doing/where are you working now?
<Barksdale> Florida has gun control? Why bother
<DS~> Yeah, if they didn't have gun control it would be legal for people to not own guns

*later*

<UMex> I work in the grant stream that funds, among other things, the state's ability to do gun background checks.
<UMex> Everything is fine now, btw.
<Grak> I very seriously doubt that everything is fine in FL's state run background checks for firearms.
<UMex> No man, it's great.
<UMex> We've got the free gun dispensers working again.
<UMex> The "are you a felon y/n" question is back to being printed as n/n as it should be.
<UMex> Everything is fine.
<UMex> We've even got a "shoot/shoot twice" simulator now.
<Shame> I bet you took the nap!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on August 01, 2013, 03:55:54 PM
Quote
(It is not widely known that The Frogs was originally designed as a first-person shooter. It was adapted for the Greek stage only after vigorous debate by leading citizens, who insisted that violent games would corrupt the youth of Athens, and also that guns hadn't been invented yet.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on August 03, 2013, 01:01:03 AM
Quote from: http://glamdamnit.tumblr.com/post/55713093884/my-sister-asked-if-the-events-of-the-labyrinth
My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth" are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.
So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?
In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.
Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.
Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.
Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.
Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her.  It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…
This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)
This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.
This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.
This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah", Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured."
Because of course she’s Sarah.
They were all Sarah.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 04, 2013, 05:28:26 PM
Quote
Yeah, I can’t believe that there once was a time when I was stupid enough to think that Mignola was ruining my Liefeld comics hahahaha
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 05, 2013, 12:13:18 AM
Quote from: quasius
Decided to see what was up at http://www.RushLimbaugh.com (http://www.RushLimbaugh.com) today.  Well...  turns out he's just launched his own line of tea.  This is real.  This is the website:  http://www.twoifbytea.com (http://www.twoifbytea.com)
Quote from: Grant
Quote from: the Two If By Tea unsweet tea product blurb
Grab a case, taste the American Exceptionalism, and help Rush Revere Tea The People!
it's more glorious than i could have possibly imagined
Quote from: Grakthis
the only way it could be better is if he asserted that the government was about to take away your tea and you had to buy it now before they start a tea registry.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on August 05, 2013, 01:41:34 AM
Quote
Yeah, I can’t believe that there once was a time when I was stupid enough to think that Mignola was ruining my Liefeld comics hahahaha

One of the best parts about the Milligan/Allred X-Force was reading the lettercol at the end of each issue which was full of people who were FURIOUS that Marvel had turned X-Force into a comic with uninteresting characters and shitty art.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on August 12, 2013, 11:50:07 AM
Context: Ridley's co-worker is playing Dragon Quest 6.

Quote
<+Ridley> meanwhile
<+Ridley> the two girls on our team who have no idea how not to engage in conversations utterly inappropriate to the workplace
<+Ridley> start talking about the number of sexual partners each of them has had.
<+Ridley> and then they turn to him
<+Ridley> and go "How many have you had?"
<+Ridley> and he glances up and goes "Huh?  I'm level 12."
<Meikai> :D
<MetalSlime> !ogre
<Utsuho> NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS
<+BongoBill> I'm going to steal that story
<+Ridley> You don't have to steal it, I will share it freely.
<+Ridley> The next week we asked him what level he was now, he said 32
<+Ridley> the week after that, we asked again
<+Ridley> he said 33
<+Ridley> I said oh you're having trouble getting it up?
<+Ridley> your level I mean?
<+Ridley> then today
<+Ridley> he mournfully told me that he stopped playing
<+Ridley> "because it's too long"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 12, 2013, 02:40:06 PM
Quote from: Skeletor
I was in Idaho this weekend and I turned on the local news at the hotel to find them doing a segment where they open a web browser to various news sites and read the top stories to you.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 12, 2013, 03:09:14 PM
Soon the News will be nothing about the News about the News about the News about the News about the News.

And Football.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on August 13, 2013, 02:51:42 AM
Japan's TV news programs still read you stories from a newspaper propped up on a big easel. And they've got little plastic strips covering the headlines which they rip off at the appropriate time.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on August 16, 2013, 09:54:43 AM
[03:33:47pm -7] <@Cait> All I really know about Roseanne is every so often Mark Rosewater mentions that he worked on it before he went to Wizards
[03:35:22pm -7] <beatbandito> oh my god
[03:36:01pm -7] <beatbandito> the same person is responsible for both Roseanne and the Urza block?
[03:36:13pm -7] <beatbandito> I've never truly believed in a global conspiracy until right now.
[03:36:34pm -7] <@Cait> "He is credited for two Roseanne episodes: "Vegas, Vegas" and "Take My Bike, Please", both aired in 1991."
[03:37:20pm -7] <@Friday> Urza Block's influence in Roseanne is clear in those episodes in which nobody is having any fun and everyone is fucking broke
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 16, 2013, 08:13:16 PM
*** Megucerath is now known as DO_NOT_THROW_SOULS
MetalSlime throws souls
<MetalSlime> now what
*** Sede quit (*.net *.split)
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Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 16, 2013, 11:03:06 PM
Ai-ya.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 17, 2013, 10:55:17 AM
<eloH> I dissented its not allowed therefore goodbye mike
<eloH> Cant dissent in an echo chamber i forgot
<@Friday> THAD LIBS

don't worry Thad I made sure you were there in spirit

p.s. banned now

p.p.s. i didn't read the whole log because i literally do not give a fuck but i do know eloH mentioned Hitler at one point
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 17, 2013, 10:59:13 AM
He literally said that Hitler did nothing wrong (except going where he wasn't supposed to, by which I assume he meant... Poland).

The point of his whole shitfit was that we're all exactly the same obdurate assholes we've always been, while he's now a new man, a shining paragon of... whatever he thinks he is.

So yeah, he's banned again. He immediately dodged the ban to come back and call us assholes one more time, but hasn't been back in a few minutes, so maybe he's gone for another few years.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 17, 2013, 11:23:54 AM
<eloH>

i have a bad case of diarrhea (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7ZyRB3-X7A#)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on August 17, 2013, 11:55:25 AM
GOOD GOD IT SYNCS TO THE AVATAR
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 17, 2013, 03:32:00 PM
<IBA> Literally the only part of the Declaration anyone gives a shit about is the opening paragraph's tweet-length summation of Locke.
<U_M> That's is the nerdiest statement I've ever seen.
<U_M> I love it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 19, 2013, 02:50:13 AM
<KCW> played through Gone Home today.
<KCW> what an incredible game.
<KCW> if you've ever played a game and wished it was all story and no gameplay, this one is for you (and that is a sincere recommendation)
<KCW> only downside is that it's $20 for ~three hours
<Seeker> that's the exact opposite of what I want!
<Seeker> let me tell you about Eternal Sonata
<Iteration> @KCW: they have these already
<Iteration> they're called "books"
<Glocks4Interns> Tell me more. What platform are they for?
<Iteration> "desk"
<Glocks4Interns> Shit.
<Glocks4Interns> I only have a Kindle.
<Iteration> oh, you're playing on an emulator?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on August 23, 2013, 05:59:36 AM
<@Romosome> I just had an idea for a novelty shot called the "Hadoken" where you mix bacardi 151 with blue curacao, light it on fire, and then throw it at someone as hard as you can
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 23, 2013, 09:22:55 AM
<@Romosome> I just had an idea for a novelty shot called the "Hadoken" where you mix bacardi 151 with blue curacao, light it on fire, and then throw it at someone as hard as you can
http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/18952603725/hadouken-ryu-street-fighter-shot-ingredients (http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/18952603725/hadouken-ryu-street-fighter-shot-ingredients)

http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/13464486307/hadouken-street-fighter-shot-blue-curacao (http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/13464486307/hadouken-street-fighter-shot-blue-curacao)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Romosome on August 23, 2013, 11:50:35 AM
I'm actually sort of relieved someone had that terrible idea before I did
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on August 23, 2013, 12:01:32 PM
Well, you had the decency to provide a (QCF-)punchline.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 24, 2013, 02:49:32 PM
[random conservative trolling, liberals <3 teh obawma]
<Basilisk> not only do i barn obama, but I ship obama x marx
<IBA> ObaMao's my OTP. Prepare for ship to ship combat.
<Earan> Shadobama x Mitt Romney the Hedgehog OTP
<IBA> X names are rank amateur, true fandom is coming up with names for the ship itself.
<IBA> ObaMao- Obama x Mao
<IBA> StaLenin- Stalin x Lenin
<IBA> HitLin- Hitler X Stalin
<IBA> Napolenton- Napoleon x Danton
<IBA> Hannixander- Hannibal Barca x Alexander the Great
<IBA> They don't have to be portmanteaus of course.
<IBA> Alexander Hamilton x Aaron Burr -> Firing Blanks
<IBA> Marx x Darwin -> Means of Reproduction
<IBA> Andrew Jackson x Alexander Hamilton -> Take it to the Bank
<IBA> Frederick Douglas x John Brown -> Unchain My Heart
<IBA> Red Baron x John Paul II -> Ace in the Hole-y See
<IBA> Arthur Wellesley x Kaiser Wilhelm II -> Well Done on a Kaiser Bun
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Lottel on August 25, 2013, 08:38:41 PM
KAYIN: *DING!* "I bet that's Lottel telling me 'Don't steal.' ...It's Lottel. 'Don't steal.""
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on August 26, 2013, 07:26:18 AM
<Grak> My SIL has health insurance coverage for the car wreck she was just in ENTIRELY BECAUSE OF OBAMACARE.
<Earan> Your SiL was in a car wreck entirely because of Obamacare?
<Grak> SIDE-IMPACT DEATH PANELS!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 26, 2013, 09:08:13 PM
Quote from: https://github.com/panicsteve/cloud-to-butt
Note that there are forks of this extension that simply replace 'cloud' with 'butt'. In my personal opinion, that approach is too broad and it's less funny as a result, but it is clearly a very polarizing issue in the cloud-to-butt user community.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on August 27, 2013, 01:28:27 AM
He's right.

(In high school we used to replace "the sun" in Why Does the Sun Shine? with "your ass".  As in, "Your ass is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace...")
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on August 28, 2013, 08:09:19 PM
<+Esperath> I hate that trope so much
<+Esperath> like
<+Esperath> sometimes the protag will ask a villain about the motivation
<+Esperath> and villain would be like "YOU'D NEVER UNDERSTAND"
<+Esperath> and then fight
<+Esperath> and then it takes 20 episodes of shit anime to resolve that bad guy isn't actually a bad guy
<+Esperath> just misunderstood because he's too fucking emo to explain himself
<+BongoBill> Magus is never asked for his motivation; you show up right as he's performing the ritual and it's too late to stop it, and as far as anybody in that room knows the only reason you're there is because of the war

<+BongoBill> Frog calls him out and Magus says "Didn't I already kill you?" and then you fight for honor.
<+Esperath> okay so frog is the one who bones everyone?
<+Esperath> would they have chatted if not for frog?
<+Esperath> crono all "..."
<+Esperath> and magus all "..."
<+Esperath> and then YOU'D NEVER UNDERSTAND dark matter
<Xerox> Crono is probably frantically going "Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!" and pointing wildly, to try to get them to talk to Magus.
<Xerox> But Frog just ignores him and charges in.
<+Esperath> the problem is that his only pointing emote is his sword
<+Esperath> so he raises his sword
<+Esperath> and everyone takes that as the cue to fight
<+Esperath> and crono tries to facepalm
<+Esperath> but all he can do is the enertron hungry emote instead
<+Esperath> Conversation restored!
<+Esperath> ...but you're still silent.
<MetalSlime> Welcome to #silentprotagonist
<MetalSlime> <Crono> ...
<Sede> !scenechange
<MetalSlime> <Ryu> ...
<MetalSlime> <Link> ...
<Sede> <Aeris Disc 2> ...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on August 29, 2013, 02:51:00 AM
Moar like #silentbutdeadlyprotagonist amirite?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on August 29, 2013, 01:15:39 PM
<Esperath> http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/30/us/white-supremacists-plan-angers-a-north-dakota-town.html?hp&_r=0 (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/30/us/white-supremacists-plan-angers-a-north-dakota-town.html?hp&_r=0)
<Esperath> But in that interview he also said that he hoped his plans in Leith would “excite” white people and “give them confidence because we’re being deracinated in our own country.
<Esperath> fuck they're separating the D-humans from the L-humans
<Meikai> deracinated :O
<Mazian> That's a polarizing issue.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Frocto on September 03, 2013, 11:10:26 PM
MisterYada:   is bored. Should either work on his campaign setting, or start work on his terrible Doctor Who fic idea.
MisterYada:   My Doctor Who fic idea was the "If Doctor Who ported into Dead Space"

<MisterYada> I generally watch the cute girl variety, with slightly less fan-fagging over it than the typical cute girl fans.
<MisterYada> I fidn them to be my karmic balance to my whole "Loving Lovecraft stories, writing horror myself, listening to death metal, and playing a lot of generally dark and violent games."

there's always that moment where you're thinking, "I have to stop reading the awful shit this person is saying," followed by "I have to keep reading to see if they top themselves."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 04, 2013, 12:56:24 AM
MisterYada:   is bored. Should either work on his campaign setting, or start work on his terrible Doctor Who fic idea.
MisterYada:   My Doctor Who fic idea was the "If Doctor Who ported into Dead Space"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beast_Below (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beast_Below)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mothra on September 05, 2013, 03:35:58 PM
<Stush> Man, why isn't bush in jail
<Romosome> stush he's a white rich dude
<Romosome> they don't go to jail
<Stush> He should be in rich white jail!
<Mothra> hehe
<Stush> That should be the worst jail
<Romosome> that's called retirement
<Romosome> oh
<Stush> No toilet paper
<Romosome> there was an article the other day
<Stush> No toilet paper at all
<Stush> Just a big roll of sandpaper
<Mothra> sometimes the guards pee in a cup and throw it on you
<Romosome> all the old rich white people are complaining about the neighborhood being ruined
<Mothra> you only get buzzfeed
<Stush> There's a man who walks past to fart through the bars every hour
<Romosome> by young rich white people
<Romosome> who are going there to vacation and puking on everything
<Stush> Romo, nice
<Stush> I am always pleased when our generation finds a new way to piss off old people
<Stush> Because they deserve it.
<Mothra> man being the bar farter would be a pretty cushy gig
<Stush> Two farts from retirement

<KazzFL> in rich white jail they smuggle fine rosewood pipes into the facility
<Mothra> smuggling an entire shuffleboard set in by way of anus
<KazzFL> anyway i want to make more jokes about rich white jail
<KazzFL> like how they stab one another with their golden pens
<Romosome> going out and getting absolutely jacked on the putting green
<Romosome> you've got gangs in there. harvard, yale
<MetalSlime> They don't stab each other with pens
<Stush> They bend over in the shower and someone starts sniffing cocaine off their butt
<MetalSlime> they hire people that let them be stabbed with pens
<Romosome> the ultimate rich white jail would be one where they just hire minorities to be in jail for them
<Stush> Oh man
<Stush> Proxy jail
<KazzFL> this is a serious offense sir
<Stush> We finally arrest the bankers who wiped out the economy, and they cut a deal where a homeless guy goes to jail for them.
<KazzFL> you're going to have to put at least 50 brown people in jail for this one
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on September 11, 2013, 06:12:31 PM
23:59   <Esperath>: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SumIZb6qMJw#t=86 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SumIZb6qMJw#t=86)
23:59   <nyao>: YOUTUBE: Official Call of Duty®: Ghosts Single Player Campaign Trailer :):):)
23:59   <Esperath>: YOU JUST KILLED A HELICOPTER WITH A DOG
00:01   <MetalSlime>: You will believe a dog can take town a helicopter in...
00:01   <MetalSlime>: Surface to Air Bud
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 15, 2013, 06:49:28 AM
Quote
Clearly the Parti Québécois must be ever vigilant: Some historians theorize that a picnic brought down the Roman Empire.


From Bernard Drainville, the Quebec minister responsible for crafting (at the party's direction) the most blatantly discriminatory legislation (http://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/jason-kenney-calls-quebec-s-values-charter-monty-python-esque-1.1455568) seen in North America all decade (and I don't say that lightly).

To the non-Canadians: The background here is that because soverignty votes are political kryptonite right now, the PQ is desperately trying to find new ways to tell "pure" Francophone Quebecers that it is still "their" party without mentioning their entire raison d'être. This is almost exactly like Nixon's Southern Strategy, right down to comedic use of code words catering to the alienated white rural redneck demographic.

Only the PQ is not the GOP, so these efforts appear about ten times as ridiculous. Zed may or may not have comments of his own.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on September 16, 2013, 01:57:50 AM
For sure, there's a bit of good and a whole lot of retarded in there. I agree with the idea of clearly enunciating and reinforcing a social commitment to man/woman/otherwise equality in rights and essentially every other aspect one might care to think of. But when religious symbols are mentioned, yeah it's a dumb load of crap. I'm all for the government being religion-neutral, but to me, a religion-neutral government doesn't say "don't wear your religious stuff", it says "eh, we don't care what kind of hat you're wearing".

I gotta correct your context, though, Mongrel. That whole thing with being the party of pure Québecers and such, yeah, no that's not really in the debate. I can see it might appear that way from the outside, especially to people for whom Québec is off the radar a lot of the time. But, and I'm not just saying that to be defensive of my homeland's government (hell, I voted Québec Solidaire), but ethnic nationalism doesn't really come into play in a major way. In fact, when one says "ethnic nationalism" in Québec, that's still basically white Christians (practicing or not), and these guys are just as pissed as anyone else today.

The deeper context is, there have been several highly-publicized cases of religious discrimination/segregation towards women in the last decade or so. Stuff like orthodox Jews in Montréal demanding that a local gym shut their blinds when women exercize near windows, or a Muslim community demanding separate times set aside in public pools, some periods exclusively for Muslim men and some exclusively for Muslim women. There's been a lot of debate for a while about whether, as a society, we have to put up with that sort of thing, and yes that debate has been exploited politically by the major parties. And it is that reckless, clumsy exploitation of an otherwise fairly legitimate debate that has spawned the Charte des Valeurs today, not the debate itself.

Now, are there actual racists, xenophobes, and other such degenerates in Québec? Yes. Definitely, there are, I wouldn't say otherwise. My mother is kind of one. I've told you guys before how I was accosted by an idiot who though I was a Jew and went on an embarrassing (to him) screaming tirade. But I still don't believe the PQ is trying to appeal to these people here, or if it is, it's not close to being the entire picture. They're trying to settle a question that needs to be settled. It's just that they're doing it in a really fucking shitty way, a way that is certainly gonna look pretty damn racist to anyone looking in from the outside.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 16, 2013, 02:49:28 AM
I'm all for the government being religion-neutral, but to me, a religion-neutral government doesn't say "don't wear your religious stuff", it says "eh, we don't care what kind of hat you're wearing".

Please come be our president.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 16, 2013, 02:52:51 AM
Eh, I'm gonna disagree on that one.

Some of the incidents you're talking about made the news outside of Québec (most of them, actually), and the reasonable accommodation debate (and report) are actually old news if you read any national papers at all.

Seems to me that the Bouchard-Taylor Comission already came up with a report to address the issue and no one really had any big problems with it's findings or suggestions when it came out (I suppose that's a very Canadian thing to do: Strike a commission study a serious problem in great detail. When said commission comes up with good, sensible solutions to the problem, ignore that and do something dumb instead).

I think that's just an excuse. You're not the only Francophone Québecer I know and at least some of them have framed this as primarily a vote buying exercise that panders to people's worst instincts. I'm inclined to agree. This smells and looks like a Southern Strategy to me.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on September 16, 2013, 03:25:43 AM
Well, if I'm wrong and that's the case, it doesn't look like it's working, I heard on the radio the Libéraux have the lead in polls today. Lessee if I can source that here...

Okay, here (http://www.985fm.ca/national/nouvelles/sondage-sur-la-charte-les-quebecois-divises-266456.html). Support for the Charte has been going down, from 57% in late August to 43% today. Vote intentions are 36% for the PLQ, and 33% for the PQ. That said, apparently 51% support the bit about religious ornaments in public service, but I'm honestly inclined to believe this is a result of organized religion's rapidly hastening agony that started in the 60s, rather than the result of racism targeted at a specific demographic. Lotta people might be against Islam, but a lot of people are against religion in general.

Way I read this is, people are looking for a solution to the debate, but are slowly coming to realize the Charte is a really bad one.

I'm all for the government being religion-neutral, but to me, a religion-neutral government doesn't say "don't wear your religious stuff", it says "eh, we don't care what kind of hat you're wearing".

Please come be our president.

I'd take a Dictator-For-Life job, but presidency is for suckers, you couldn't pay me enough.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 16, 2013, 05:39:15 AM
Support for the Charter has been going down across Québec overall because, just as you said, whatever it's aims were, it's a horrible, poorly thought-out idea (and probably not even remotely constitutional). But the way its been received outside Montreal has been different than the way its been received in the city:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/pq-charter-of-values-better-received-by-francophones-poll-shows/article14334035/ (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/pq-charter-of-values-better-received-by-francophones-poll-shows/article14334035/)
http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Charter+Values+island+different+story/8910760/story.html (http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Charter+Values+island+different+story/8910760/story.html)
EDIT: and a non-federalist source (albeit a slightly older article):
http://www.ledevoir.com/politique/quebec/386445/la-charte-relance (http://www.ledevoir.com/politique/quebec/386445/la-charte-relance)

On that basis, there is an argument for the whole thing as an utterly cynical pander-to-the-basest-of-the-base move.

One argument I've heard a few times, it that it's possible the PQ don't even really intend to implement it - the real plan is to see the Charter struck down in a constitutional fight, which they can use that as a (minor) rallying cry instead. Or maybe that's just the "plan B". I don't think that's worth as much as they think it is though; of all the issues to rally sovereigntists, that's not one that's going to bring more people in.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 16, 2013, 05:56:47 AM
But really, I just wanna know about this picnic that brought down the Roman Empire.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on September 16, 2013, 12:25:47 PM
our quotes topic is now about french canadian politics.

is this the end
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 16, 2013, 12:29:15 PM
My only friend.

The End.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 16, 2013, 01:25:53 PM
our quotes topic is now about french canadian politics.

is this the end

no (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=1341.msg29775#msg29775)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 17, 2013, 05:46:27 AM
My buddy NicotineJones found out his wife is pregant. Congrats, etc. Then this:

<NicotineJones> thanks guys!
<NicotineJones> i think I am probably going to have to change my username everywhere
<JSexton> At least you aren't still using the MethadoneJones tag anymore, right?
<X-0_in_life> StrongCoffeeJones now perhaps?
<Dantes> If it's a girl I think you should change your name to "IhaveashotgunandImnotafraidtouseitJones."
<Walkerdog> I joke with my wife that i will toss my daughter's first bf down a long set of stairs
<Walkerdog> just so the other young men at school have a proper wariness.
<FMM> funny joke
<NicotineJones> i mean, maybe I'll feel differently about it when/if the time comes
<NicotineJones> but it is not clear to me that screening for "willing to risk death to have sex" is a good idea w/r/t future hypothetical daughter's future hypothetical boyfriends.

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 18, 2013, 02:41:23 AM
<Sharkey> I should troll forums as a proofreader.
<Sharkey> Never actually say anything. Just copy other people's posts and fix spelling and punctuation.
<Cthulhu-chan> the instant gratification of CoH can't possibly be matched.
<Sharkey> No, probably not.
<Sharkey> And before long people start trying to catch you in a mistake. Like if you get a comma wrong and call you on it you'll vanish in a puff of grammar.
<Brentai> OH WHAT A WORLD WHAT A *NOUN*
<Brentai> I... will... not... die... as... long... as... there... are... typos... on... the... message... boards... of... the... Internet... *ellipsis*

I just wanted to thank Brentai for teaching me all I need to know (https://twitter.com/zarawesome/status/380351802572406785)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 18, 2013, 03:05:29 AM
Man who says women don't hate other women speaking?  That's not even a gamer thing.  You get two women in a room and let one start talking and the other will just start interrupting her with OH MY GOD RIGHT AND THEN BOB WAS LIKE LOOOOOL

This post is for humor purposes only and does not reflect the views of Mr. Duck Dragon.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 18, 2013, 04:14:42 AM
<Sharkey> I should troll forums as a proofreader.
<Sharkey> Never actually say anything. Just copy other people's posts and fix spelling and punctuation.
<Cthulhu-chan> the instant gratification of CoH can't possibly be matched.
<Sharkey> No, probably not.
<Sharkey> And before long people start trying to catch you in a mistake. Like if you get a comma wrong and call you on it you'll vanish in a puff of grammar.
<Brentai> OH WHAT A WORLD WHAT A *NOUN*
<Brentai> I... will... not... die... as... long... as... there... are... typos... on... the... message... boards... of... the... Internet... *ellipsis*

I just wanted to thank Brentai for teaching me all I need to know (https://twitter.com/zarawesome/status/380351802572406785)

(http://pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF099-Grammar_Wizard.gif)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on September 18, 2013, 04:53:50 AM
That comic always bugged me because nobody seems to actually care about ending sentences with prepositions.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Koah on September 18, 2013, 07:31:30 AM
It's the kind of pedantry up with which most people do not put.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Bongo Bill on September 18, 2013, 10:46:46 AM
"Up" is part of the verb, not the preposition.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 18, 2013, 11:24:36 AM
You know what's fun? Arbitrarily assigning the rules from Latin to a Germanic language.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 18, 2013, 06:21:38 PM
I'll arbitrarily assign the rules of your ass to your face
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on September 18, 2013, 11:36:04 PM
Just so long as you don't split infinitives to do it. It's against the rules.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 19, 2013, 03:17:56 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/eubEj6K.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 20, 2013, 02:11:15 AM
Quote
[16:13] <feingersh> idgi why do the washington redskins get more flak for their logo than the cleveland indians. have you even seen the indians logo
[16:13] <smh`> they are both bad
[16:14] <smh`> and should be abolished
[16:14] <feingersh> yeah the name is not all that great, but the logo is fine
[16:14] <revo> feingersh i mean those are bad
[16:14] <smh`> they should just rebrand those teams
[16:14] <revo> but not quite as bad as the AA baseball team, the Alabama Coonfaggots
[16:14] <smh`> theres no excuse
[16:14] <revo> we've been the coonfaggots for years
[16:14] <smh`> even the braves
[16:14] <revo> it was from a different era
[16:14] <smh`> so that people will stop doing the racist tomahawk chop thing
[16:15] <revo> that would be a good onion article
[16:15] <revo> coonfaggot administration overrules name change
[16:15] <feingersh> it has to have been done
[16:15] <revo> what would the logo be
[16:16] <revo> "when the coonfaggots were founded in 1931, there was nothing politically incorrect about it"
[16:16] <revo> "who knows what modern team names will be unacceptable even 10 years from now!"
[16:17] <revo> the owner cited other controversial teams such as the Georgia Wetbacks and the San Diego Crippled Retards
[16:17] <smh`> they took a long time to realize the washington bullets was an unfortunate name though
[16:18] <smh`> so i dont have high hopes
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 20, 2013, 03:55:27 AM
From a wargaming board:

<Sgallagher> [Trying to find a suitable "Damsel in distress" figure for a particular pulp scenario]
<Sgallagher> Went on to search every miniature site in uk.
<Sgallagher> Found some lesbian vampires by ground zero and other interesting figures but no pith helmet girl in lingerie !!
<PistolPete> sounds like a head swap conversion is in your future.
<Sgallagher> Lol yes I think u r right
<NickNascati> Okay, just how does one sculpt a "lesbian" vampire??
<surixurient> Perhaps by giving her a mullet
<mikedemana> ...and comfortable shoes...
<PistolPete> i thought all female vampires were lesbians.

I almost pissed myself laughing at the mullet line.

EDIT: Just so it's clear, I am not laughing with them.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 20, 2013, 05:11:30 AM
Quote
<PistolPete> i thought all female vampires were lesbians.

actually this is a really interesting point about how we view female sexuality currently

I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about but since this is sort of my hobbyhorse, being bi and all, I'm gonna type it anyway and you can just stop reading now because you are all smart people and you know exactly what I'm about to say trust me

so a nice girl is turned into a vampire and BAM bisexual/lesbian right?

now to be fair, male vampires are also depicted as being gay/bi a lot of the time (especially if they're being written by Rice) but by faaaaaaaaaar you see it more often in chicks

so this great, virgin girl who's about the marry her highschool sweetheart gets turned and SUDDENLY NONSTOP FUCKING, LESBIAN FUCKING, DICKS DICKS DICKS, PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY, HOLY SHIT TIGHT LEATHER PANTS AND MASSIVE EYE MAKEUP

cause being turned means you lose your soul, right? so now it's just the bodies urges that take over.

Male Vamps become these power obsessed "players" and girls just fuck literally anything constantly.

of course, it IS also true (or at least studies have shown) that

A: girls are more subject to social views shaping their sexuality
B: girls tend to be more open to/experimental homosexual behavior than men in general (perhaps because this is how social views have shaped them over the last 100 years or so I DON'T KNOW)

but still it's interesting that male writers tend to believe that there is a depraved bisexual nymphomaniac lurking under the soul of every woman, their holy spirit barely holding it back like a tiger (rowr) in a cage

or maybe they just are horny and they think hot lesbian tight leather vampire goths are fuckin' sexy and rad

but let's be honest

it's both
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 20, 2013, 06:26:16 AM
all vampires love girls because they're easier on the teeth
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on September 20, 2013, 07:45:22 AM
It's been a while since I read it but IIRC the theme of Dracula was basically "FEMALE SEXUALITY = SCARY".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 20, 2013, 08:39:39 AM
Thing is the female vampires in Dracula were all very straight, and seemed to have a thing for children.

The whole vampire=lesbian thing probably traces more directly to Carmilla, where you could practically do a global replace on the two words and not change the story at all.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 20, 2013, 08:45:54 AM
And then they added this jaw-dropper later:

Quote from: leprosy
"that time of the month" has an altogether happier meaning for female vampires

(That guy lives up to his username).
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on September 21, 2013, 08:10:40 AM
pfft, we all know that a female vampire's uterus is present, but non-functional

like your mom

cause we're old now and our moms have gone through menopause
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on September 21, 2013, 11:30:25 AM
joke's on you, my mother has no uterus anymore
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on September 24, 2013, 06:00:45 PM
<Screwface> !add5 Let's not make this weird
<Upth> Haiku Novicework: This was a triumph / faceless, masturbating clowns / Let's not make this weird
<Screwface> it got weird :(
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 25, 2013, 05:15:58 PM
Quote from: cubs
I just nearly swallowed a fly (much like the old woman, except I didn't follow it with a menagerie of increasingly unlikely snacks).

I went for a run (I know, I know, sad middle age crisis going on I think) and a fly flew right into my gob. I choked and spluttered on the damn thing and only managed to cough it up into my sinus. I could feel it buzzing and wriggling and I was completely unable to either snort it back or blast it out. I just had to put up with it and keep running as best I could until I could reach the safety of some double-ply tissue and running water, where I could really go to town on it.

Eventually, it slid back down my throat and I was able to hawk it out noisily into some unfortunate brambles (I hope no-one goes blackberry picking there later).

Most unpleasant.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on September 30, 2013, 03:42:01 AM
http://imgur.com/gallery/L2HRc (http://imgur.com/gallery/L2HRc)

Holy shit.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 02, 2013, 06:47:35 AM
Quote from: Roger Ebert
The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that ... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,' a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Amazing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on October 02, 2013, 07:05:00 PM
<Brentai> I keep reading the Terraria topic subtitle as "Now with Consent".
<+Kazz> it was not a good place to be before.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 04, 2013, 02:47:24 AM
Quote from: Uber_Mexico
I was talking about the bechdel test this morning and I realized that most anime, even the trashiest half naked ones, pass the shit out of it.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 04, 2013, 03:10:05 AM
Quote from: Uber_Mexico
I was talking about the bechdel test this morning and I realized that most anime, even the trashiest half naked ones, pass the shit out of it.

the anime bechdel test is when two people of any gender talk about something that is not bra sizes or power levels
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on October 04, 2013, 04:01:20 AM
And yet Queen's Blade still passes it with flying colors
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on October 04, 2013, 05:35:42 AM
Of course, this is why the Bechdel Test is known as a "depressingly low bar".
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 06, 2013, 09:31:10 AM
[22:25] OHakubi: Oh, speaking of bullshit decisions... Infamous.
[22:25] OHakubi: There's one point in the game where the villain has half a dozen doctors hanging off of one roof and your girlfriend hanging off the other and you only have time to save one group.
[22:26] MetalSlime: Fuck'em both
[22:26] MetalSlime: They all die
[22:26] OHakubi: Same as Spider-Man, right?  Well, here's the thing: If you save the doctors... your girlfriend dies.  The winch thing breaks, she falls.
[22:27] OHakubi: Thereby showing that your girlfriend is the one up on that roof.  BUT!  If you go to save your girlfriend, it's not actually her, and she's revealed to be with the doctors.
[22:27] Aesir: ... wat.
[22:27] Aesir: What.
[22:28] Aesir: WHAT.
[22:28] MetalSlime: TROLLIN'
[22:28] OHakubi: So no matter which you choose, your girlfriend will always be the in the group you didn't choose!
[22:28] Aesir: Are you fucking kidding me?!
[22:28] Aesir: You can't do that!
[22:28] OHakubi: It's Schrodinger Girlfriend!
[22:28] MetalSlime: Dohohoho
[22:28] MetalSlime: Genius!
[22:28] Aesir: YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
[22:28] Aesir: IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
[22:28] Aesir: GODDAMNIT
[22:29] * Aesir froths
[22:29] OHakubi: I know!  I saw the hero version of it, then went to watch the villain version and immediately went "OH THIS IS BULLSHIIIIIIIIIT"

This actually makes completely perfect sense
Warning: Spoilers for a 4 year old game:

See, the villian who's setting this up is a time-traveling you. He's gone into the past. He knows ahead of time, which one you'll pick canonically, and then puts your girlfriend in the other one.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on October 06, 2013, 03:00:41 PM
Quote from: Hunter S Thompson
“Anybody who wanders around the world saying, “Hell yes, I’m from Texas,” deserves whatever happens to him."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 10, 2013, 12:45:17 PM
Quote
I am not here today as a writer-director, or as a producer, or as the chairman of a corporation. I've come as a citizen of what I believe to be a great society that is in need of a moral anchor to help define and protect its intellectual and cultural heritage. It is not being protected.

The destruction of our film heritage, which is the focus of concern today, is only the tip of the iceberg. American law does not protect our painters, sculptors, recording artists, authors, or filmmakers from having their lifework distorted, and their reputation ruined. If something is not done now to clearly state the moral rights of artists, current and future technologies will alter, mutilate, and destroy for future generations the subtle human truths and highest human feeling that talented individuals within our society have created.

A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.
People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.

These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tommorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with "fresher faces," or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor's lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new "original" negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.

In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be "replaced" by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.

[spoiler]—George Lucas, 1988[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on October 10, 2013, 01:29:42 PM
Called it the moment I hit the third paragraph, though I suppose I should have sooner.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Joxam on October 10, 2013, 06:33:25 PM
I hate to be THAT GUY (who am I kidding no I don't) but every time I see this posted on Facebook I feel I should bring up that he is specifically arguing against someone else or something else changing an artist's work into something that doesn't convey the original meaning or message. As a matter of fact if I were in an arguing mood I might accuse you of cutting off one of the most important statements of that quote, one that gives context, simply by stopping a paragraph short.

Quote
There is nothing to stop American films, records, books, and paintings from being sold to a foreign entity or egotistical gangsters and having them change our cultural heritage to suit their personal taste.

He's not talking about an artist, having realized the special effects potential of the day, going back and trying to more directly convey his original message. We can try to rationalize it all we want, pretend he's a hypocrite or an asshole, but the fact is, he's just a perfect example of when limitations, either in budget, technology, or control, have made artists better.

Off the top of my head Kurt Wimmer had the same problem in transitioning from Equilibrium to the bigger budget of Ultraviolet and don't even get me started on The Wachowskis.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 10, 2013, 06:37:16 PM
I'm actually pretty sure we've had this argument in this very thread already - if not here, then the Star Wars thread - where Lucas has said the same thing on another occasion, and then people point out that, yes, he's talking explicitly about fucking with other people's things. Not his own thing.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on October 11, 2013, 03:35:06 AM
Quote
There is nothing to stop American films, records, books, and paintings from being sold to a foreign entity or egotistical gangsters and having them change our cultural heritage to suit their personal taste.

Can we at least make fun of this quote for his lack of self-awareness of how his films are big Kurasawa rips?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 11, 2013, 04:01:12 AM
his films are big Kurasawa rips?

Among other things (That joke about how "I liked Star Wars better when it was called 'The Dam Busters'").

In all honesty, recreation like that is actually just fine. The existence of Star Wars or spaghetti westerns do not retroactively change Kurosawa's films.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on October 11, 2013, 04:53:37 AM
I know. It's just hilarious to see a white dude going all "They're going to change our cultural heritage to suit their ends!"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Sharkey on October 11, 2013, 07:52:01 AM
White Kaneda Saves Neo New York.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on October 11, 2013, 12:33:17 PM
his films are big Kurasawa rips?

Among other things (That joke about how "I liked Star Wars better when it was called 'The Dam Busters'").

And let's not forget the works of Jack Kirby.  Darth Vader bears a more-than-passing resemblance to Dr. Doom, and the "I am your father" twist is straight out of The New Gods.

(Kirby played it differently, of course; it was a slow burn rather than a big climactic shock.  He foreshadowed the hell out of it, and the readers knew who Orion's father was before Orion did.  For my money, he did a much better job playing up Orion's inner conflict and potential to do great evil than Jedi ever did with Luke's, and The Pact remains one of the greatest single issues of any comic ever.  None of which is to detract from Empire, which is probably the single greatest space opera film ever made.)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on October 11, 2013, 12:51:12 PM
we stole star wars they stole final fantasy

fair trade
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 12, 2013, 02:23:05 PM
Quote from: DeathSquiggle
I told someone that jj abrams apologized for lens flares, and that literally now means figuratively, and they didn't believe me and checked both times and were stunned to find I was telling the truth.

So then I told them they also removed gullible from the dictionary and they just accepted it as fact.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on October 16, 2013, 05:33:44 PM
23:19   <ElfinZero>: patito, I'd like to be in Brentai's anus the moment it gets one of the sphincter 'clenches', if you know what I mean.
23:19   <ElfinZero>: ...
23:19   <Brentai>: I... what the fuck do you mean?
23:19   <ElfinZero>: I uh.
23:19   Brentai stares.
23:19   <Esperath>: :|
23:19   *** ElfinZero quit (Quit: ElfinZero)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on October 16, 2013, 11:44:05 PM
Did that quote have any context? Would it have helped?
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on October 17, 2013, 06:34:29 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/F6ktvSo.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Esperath on October 17, 2013, 02:51:21 PM
Did that quote have any context? Would it have helped?

the context was basically more of the same.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: François on October 17, 2013, 03:45:48 PM
(http://francois.brontoforum.us/miscpic/fnord.gif)

The more things change...
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kashan on October 17, 2013, 04:12:04 PM
Wow, that is a blast from the past.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Kazz on October 22, 2013, 03:11:00 PM
<3 <3
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: on October 30, 2013, 06:13:42 PM
<+Marisa> Okay Romosome
[11:56:56pm -7] <+Marisa> Do you want to hear something crazy
[11:57:21pm -7] <+Marisa> Since October 2012, some guy in Japan has been sending a flurry of threats and powdered substances to anyplace even remotely connected to this basketball manga named "Kuroko's Basketball"
[11:57:26pm -7] <+Marisa> They still haven't caught the fucking guy or had any leads
[11:57:34pm -7] <+myew> Or it was still boring and i caught you.
[11:57:56pm -7] <+RoboJox> you might say
[11:58:00pm -7] <+RoboJox> they're striking out
[11:58:03pm -7] <+Marisa> ...
[11:58:06pm -7] <+Marisa> Basketball, Joxam
[11:58:07pm -7] <+Marisa> Basketball.
[11:58:09pm -7] <+RoboJox> damn it
[11:58:11pm -7] <+RoboJox> I can'tread
[11:58:17pm -7] <@BonghostBill> swing and a miss
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 02, 2013, 10:46:18 AM
<RawMeat> What up bitches, let's party like it's 2002 up in here.
<RawMeat> I just flashed my router to DDWRT and I'm still on the Internet and nothing caught on fire.
<RawMeat> Wheeee!!!
<Dantes> I have a virtual DDWRT instance set up in VMWare as the main router for my test domain.
<Dantes> /snobbery
<RawMeat> I don't know what any of this means
<RawMeat> but I am using it to spoof the mac address of the router so that my 3DS will think I'm at a nintendo zone so that I can get more streetpass tags.
<Glocks4Interns> I know what Dantes was talking about but this is just gibberish.
<RawMeat> Now somebody explain what a cron job is and how to make it cycle through MAC addresses for me.
<RawMeat> TIA.
<Starr> Isn't that where a pothead goes down on you at a certain time each day?

Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 04, 2013, 12:02:05 PM
While this quote is a somewhat glib and trolly, it IS kind of an interesting way to look at it.

Quote from: James Taranto
The feminist convention is for the woman to continue using her father's name as a statement against patriarchy.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on November 04, 2013, 12:24:51 PM
We live in a patronymic society.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Royal☭ on November 04, 2013, 01:45:23 PM
It's about as trite an observation as people at Occupy Wall Street owning iPhones.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 04, 2013, 01:54:30 PM
Trite is a good word for it, yeah.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Zaratustra on November 04, 2013, 09:04:11 PM
Lose your slave name and call yourself Eve X
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 07, 2013, 01:46:55 AM
http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com/ (http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com/)

The pics are completely SFW. The language... not so much (overall it's still probably SFW).
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Classic on November 07, 2013, 05:32:27 AM
I used to read that... thing...
then I took an arrow in the knee (http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com/image/65822261076).
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 12, 2013, 05:01:30 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/PM24JkR.jpg)

Holy shit!
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 19, 2013, 03:52:26 AM
This followed a discussion from a different person on our game board who's trying to kick a habit of waking up and browsing porn.

<Earan> Move to the UK. Free mental health care, and porn is banned by default.
<Dantes> I still don't kow how they think they can make that happen.
<Earan> The same way that The Pirate Bay is blocked?
<Dantes> So, not well.
<Glocks4Interns> I'm now imagining the British navy blockading porn sites.
<KingRamz> Jack Sparrow, famous porn smuggler
<Nemryn> Jack Swallow, famous porn smuggler
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 22, 2013, 11:36:08 AM
<VodalianStallion> http://www.starcitygames.com/article/27390_Lithwalkers-Interview-With-Magic-Artist-Aleksi-Briclot.html (http://www.starcitygames.com/article/27390_Lithwalkers-Interview-With-Magic-Artist-Aleksi-Briclot.html)
<VodalianStallion> I found the part about Tezzeret interesting.
<UDrive> Liliana Vess = A Villainess!!
<VodalianStallion> Griselbrand = Slab Grinder  :O
<KingRamz> Ihsan's Shade = Sans His Head  :O
<KingRamz> Akroma, Angel of Wrath = Whelm A Kangaroo Fart  :O
<KingRamz> Jace, the Mind Sculptor = Jump A Tinseled Crotch  :O
<nemryn> Telim'Tor = Mr. Toilet  :O
<KingRamz> Tarmogoyf = My Foratog  :O
<ScribeJones> Snapcaster Mage = Manages Carpets  :O
<QED2> urza planeswalker = azure sparkle lawn
<KingRamz> Spiro Agnew = grow a penis
<KingRamz> I know it's not MtG but I had to share it
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Thad on November 23, 2013, 04:09:31 PM
Robert Anton Wilson observed -- and I am paraphrasing from memory here -- "It's been frequently observed that Ronald Wilson Reagan is an anagram for Insane Anglo Warlord.  What fewer people have noticed is that George Herbert Walker Bush is an anagram for Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog.  Now, we as a people know what to do with an Insane Anglo Warlod; we've had plenty of them throughout our history.  But nobody's quite sure what to do with a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog."
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 26, 2013, 04:52:01 AM
<feb3st> What are good Thanksgiving hors d'oeuvres to make for people?
<Basilisk> tiny miniature turkeys
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 27, 2013, 10:28:43 AM
I read this years ago, but ran into it again the other day. I think if I live to be 100, it'll still be one of my very favourite stories.

Quote
The Far Side Comes to Life in Oregon
By Dave Barry (1990)

I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects.

So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan — remember, I am not making this up — of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.

So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of dynamite next to the whale and set it off. I am probably not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in the history of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then you hear the happy spectators shouting “Yayy!” and “Whee!” Then, suddenly, the crowd’s tone changes. You hear a new sound like “splud.” You hear a woman’s voice shouting “Here come pieces of… MY GOD!” Something smears the camera lens.

Later, the reporter explains: “The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere.” One piece caved in the roof of a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. There was no sign of the sea gulls, who had no doubt permanently relocated in Brazil. This is a very sobering videotape. Here at the institute we watch it often, especially at parties. But this is no time for gaiety. This is a time to get hold of the folks at the Oregon State Highway division and ask them, when they get done cleaning up the beaches, to give us an estimate on the US Capitol.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on November 29, 2013, 12:20:02 PM
<Marmalade>  i didnt have enough oil and i charred my plantains
<Quasius> With plantains, it's very important to invade a middle-eastern country during the prep stage.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: R^2 on December 07, 2013, 08:09:41 AM
Error404   one time I put some captain morgan in my captain crunch, and realized why the navy only allows one captain on a boat at once
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on December 07, 2013, 02:38:50 PM
<Shax> Crap that was six minutes? I AIN'T DONE POOPIN'
<Brentai> PINCH IT OFF SUCKA
<Mothra> PUT IT IN A BOX
<Dudeskull> You'll have time to poop when you're dead
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 07, 2013, 03:55:19 PM
<MarsDragon> I think I missed exciting things while I was getting more alcohol
<MarsDragon> But hey, Romo's here!
<patito> mars, nah
<BEAT> FUCK ROMO
<Brentai> Someone fucked with an armband.
<Neeerds> RUCK FOMO

...

<Mothra> Nerds: Doesn't Ruck Fomo sound like a Star Wars Extended Universe character
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 17, 2013, 04:11:26 PM
<crunchums> look i was only 13 at the time
<crunchums> also i thought bukkake was pronounced like "butt-cake"
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 20, 2013, 10:21:28 AM
<Dantes> Google motto 2004: Don't be evil
<Dantes> Google motto 2010: Evil is tricky to define
<Dantes> Google motto 2013: We make military robots
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on December 24, 2013, 09:48:56 AM
<GiantSpyder> We don't live in an Air Bud universe, where the only thing that matters is whether a thing is strictly prohibited.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on December 24, 2013, 09:56:42 AM
actually we checked and there's no rule saying we don't live in an Air Bud universe, so
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Friday on January 02, 2014, 01:22:23 PM
<@Friday> Silver collects lolita clothing like I collect spines.
<@Friday> One day I opened my closet and all these spines came tumbling out and I could hardly remember where I got half of them.
<@Friday> I wonder if Sub-Zero uses a numbering system.
<Elfin> Why don't you collect smaller body parts?
<@Silversong> it's her idiom
<@Friday> March 4, 1992. Froze and decapitated Kano. Spine in good condition.
<@Friday> March 7, 1992. Froze and decapitated Sonya Blade. Spine in good condition.
<@Friday> March 15, 1992. Froze and decapitated Scorpion. Scorpion just came from back from hell and reclaimed spine.
<+BongoBill> All her spine-wealth hasn't made Friday any happier, though. It doesn't do you any good just to hoard it, Friday! You've got to spend it!
<rainwarrior> He must have looked floppy coming back for his spine.
<Elfin> 'March 18, 1992. "Got over there" as Scorpion insisted, and there was nothing there. Instead received uppercut.'
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Disposable Ninja on January 02, 2014, 01:39:37 PM
April 19, 2011. Need to restart Spine collection from scratch. God fucking damn it, Raiden.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Ted Belmont on January 03, 2014, 12:38:34 AM
actually we checked and there's no rule saying we don't live in an Air Bud universe, so

(http://i.imgur.com/nGGC5Tb.jpg)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 06, 2014, 05:27:13 PM
<Crunchums> if you consider posting as a performance art, who is your favorite poster across all forums that you frequent?
<Seeker> He doesn't post anywhere anymore, that I know of. Guy name of RunsWithScissors, back on old gamefaqs and then luelinks and then he just kind of... moved on. He just wrote these hilariously nonsensical stories, like my all-time favorite one:

Quote
So me and my good friend Sam decided to go to Olive Garden to get something to eat. I hear only good things about their breadsticks and that's all I planned on buying. If I played my cards right, I could get out of there with a bill of only a few dollars.

On the way over, I decided to probe Sam a little and see if I could get him to pay for my food. It's just like luring a clown into your house so you can kill him because he reminds you of a bad incident during childhood. I just went for it. I'd probably suck a cock for a free meal, I said. He was just gazing ahead and this broke him out of the trance. He snapped his head towards me and asked,"What?" The look in his eyes made me back down. That wasn't me, that was the radio. He eyed me wearily. It was going to take a long time to live that one down.

We finally arrived at the Olive Garden. Sam was staying a few steps away from me. He was probably afraid I'd try to rape him before dinner to increase my appetite or something silly. I guess he figured it's easier before because you might cramp up trying to rape on a full stomach. If there's one thing I learned on the streets, it's never rape on a full stomach. You can cramp up and your victim can get away.

So the waitress brought the breadsticks and salad. I ate one breadstick and went for another. The second one I grabbed looked just like a penis. It was amazing, a penis made of bread. I cock slapped Sam across the face with it. It's a lot more satisfying to see a grease mark left on their face with bread instead of your penis. I looked over and I saw the waitress there. Sam, watch this, I said. I shoved the breadstick down my pants.

I put the breadstick down my left pant leg and it looked like a huge penis bulge. Even my mouth was watering and I'm straight. The waitress came over and I just sat there, with my legs apart, inviting her to come and play in my penial garden. She looked at my bulge and back up at me. I winked. I mouthed the words, it's all yours. It was actually Olive Garden's but she didn't have to know.

I kept the breadstick in there during the course of the meal. I kind of liked it there. It gave me +4 to my confidence skill. The waitress walked by again and she put a slip of paper on the table. It wasn't the bill, it was a note that said she wanted me after closing.

Sam left and I waited around. By this time, the breadstick was leaving a grease mark on my pants, so I shifted it to the other side. This thing was my ticket to endless amounts of sex. The waitress found me, turns out her name is Cindy, and said she'd give me a ride to her place. The whole time back to her place, she kept trying to reach over and grab my breadstick. I had to keep slapping her hand away. One little feel and this was all over.

Two hundred hand slaps later, we were finally at her house. I carried her upstairs, kissing the whole time. I threw her down on the bed and told her that I'd be right back, I had to put a condom on. "Oh, honey, let me do it," she said. Oh God, no, I'll do it, I told her, I have to pee, too. So I ran out of the room before she could say anything else.

In the bathroom, I was pretty nervous. I was about to slip a condom over my breadstick and fuck a girl with it. Oh well, may as well jump in. I put the condom over it and went back into her room. I made sure to turn the lights off so she couldn't see it. After a bit kissing, I began to penetrate her with it. So far, so good. Then she looked up at me in a panicked state, "Oh no, did I just crush your penis in two?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She said she tightened her vagina and it felt like my penis was crushed. She reached down and felt it. I guess she felt enough penises in her day to know it wasn't a penis.

"I can't believe you're fucking me with a breadstick!" she yelled. I grabbed the breadstick and threw it in the corner, go fetch, I said, then I remember she was human, not a dog. I really gotta stop having sex with animals. I wasn't going to trick her that easy. So I started to apologize, about three seconds in, I pushed her on the bed, grabbed the end of the covers, wrapped her up in them and rolled her off the bed. I dashed out of there. Let's just hope I never see her again.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Büge on January 09, 2014, 02:25:03 AM
Quote from: MagFlare
When you become a Juggalo you submit your makeup design to the Venerable and International Brotherhood of Juggalos, whereupon the ancient Chronicler of Faces, Assy Ninjabones, painstakingly hand-paints your face on a 20 oz. Faygo bottle and stores it in the vault. Using another Juggalo's makeup design is prohibited and punishable by suplexing you off the roof of your mom's house onto a card table covered with barbed wire.
Quote from: marcalan
Hmm...You seem to know quite a bit about Juggalo society MagFlare. Care to confess that you are a Juggalo? And that you should be burned at the stake for your crimes?!?
Reply With Quote
Quote from: MagFlare
I make no secret of it. I spent eight years among the Juggalos -- attending their Gatherings, learning their ways, participating in their legendary feud with Eminem. I went in as a curious anthropologist. I left, nearly a decade later, as Botched Crotch (formerly Meth Mouth McGee), a respected Juggalelder.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Brentai on January 11, 2014, 08:59:44 AM
-->|   fbm_ (~fbm@209.237.94.112) has joined #finalfight
   fbm_   friggin' storm better not knock out my internet
   |<--   fbm has left irc.esper.net (Ping timeout: 194 seconds)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 13, 2014, 08:39:17 AM
Mildly sorta NSFW (http://i.imgur.com/C6RsqoZ.png)
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Mongrel on January 13, 2014, 10:52:54 AM
https://twitter.com/hiphopaugustine

Quote
bankin like Croesus
nah -- just bein facetious
only thing I bank on is a swag exegesis

oh lordy
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Healy on January 14, 2014, 11:25:24 AM
Quote
Anyway, I am honestly kind of shocked that none of the second-rate studios have jumped on the chance to introduce a [gay] or [lesbian] lead in a movie for kids. Whoever does it first is going to get a ton of attention. There will be news stories and huge arguments and generally tons of free press. Also, people will defend it to the death even if it sucks because they'll want to see it done by someone who doesn't suck. You can write off all detractors as homophobes and ask for solidarity. You could do it.

Romeo and Bromeo: Sealed with a Kiss
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Caithness on January 18, 2014, 02:01:28 PM
21:39:46 < Hamtramck> I'm envisioning a numbers station that plays Food Fight 24/7 and encodes
                      secret messages in th compression artifacts
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Metal Slime on January 18, 2014, 07:07:38 PM
[02:37] <Brentai> I thoroughly despise all of you.
[02:37] <Brentai> I want this on record.
[02:37] <Brentai> Despise.
Title: Re: Quotes
Post by: Metal Slime on January 18, 2014, 07:09:41 PM
[02:48] <@Friday> Brentai
[02:48] <@Friday> I thoroughly love all of you
[02:48] <@Friday> I want this on record