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Poll

PUPPY

1. INFINITE LIVES MOTHERFUCKER
- 3 (42.9%)
2. It's too dark to do anything. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- 2 (28.6%)
3. Dennis
- 2 (28.6%)

Total Members Voted: 7


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Author Topic: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)  (Read 18808 times)

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the asshole you hate

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #160 on: December 01, 2010, 10:54:11 AM »

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It was a fun visit. I hope someday someone figures out what I was saying in this post. Bye!

Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #161 on: December 01, 2010, 01:36:12 PM »

:D
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #162 on: December 11, 2010, 12:45:13 AM »

1. PKANG PKANG PKANG

You take aim with your Zapper at the ducks, which is easy, because you are good at holding things in your mouth, but you are not so good at pulling the trigger.

Holding the zapper sideways, you tilt your head and try to get a paw in there. After a few failed attempts you try your tongue. Though you're able to worm it onto the trigger, you simply don't have enough tongue strength to depress it. Frustrated, you bark, dropping the zapper and accidentally firing off a shot as it hits the ground.

The Zapper bolt flies sideways and hits the Weeping Willow, who begins sobbing.

"Oh I am SO SORRY," you bark.

The tree, not able to understand dog, does not reply, except with more sobbing. You see several tendrils are touching the scorch mark on the lower trunk.

Meanwhile the ducks have gotten away and NO BONUS. The bloodhound laughs at you.

"Hey! It's not nice to laugh at others," you tell him, remembering your mom telling you that.

"I AM THE FINAL BOSS OF THE INTERNET," the blood hound says. You can understand him, of course, because he is speaking dog.

"The Duck Hunt dog is the final boss of the internet?" you ask.

"INDEED IT IS SO, PUPPY," he replies. He is using all caps, of course, because he is the final boss.

"What's the internet?" you ask.

"THE INTERNET IS THE PLACE I AM THE FINAL BOSS OF," the blood hound explains curtly.

"Oh," you say.

"WE HAVE A JOB OPENING FOR A MID-LEVEL BOSS OF THE INTERNET," the blood hound says. "AS THE FINAL BOSS OF THE INTERNET I CAN HIRE YOU IF YOU WANT."

You think about it. "What would my job be?"

"SOMETIMES PEOPLE WILL TRY TO GET PAST YOU. YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THEY CAN'T GET PAST YOU," the blood hound explains. "OTHERWISE YOU'RE FIRED."

"I'm pretty good at getting in the way," you reason.

"WE ALSO OFFER DENTAL," the blood hound says.

"Okay, um, but where is the internet?" you ask.

"THE INTERNET IS ALL AROUND YOU," the blood hound says. "YOU CAN SEE IT WHEN YOU GO TO WORK, WHEN YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. WHEN YOU PAY YOUR TAXES."

"But I don't go to work and I don't pay taxes and I'm not tall enough to look out windows unless you meant sliding glass doors which I push my nose into leaving marks," you say.

The blood hound continues as if he hadn't heard you. "UNFORTUNATELY YOU CANNOT BE TOLD WHAT THE INTERNET IS. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF."

"Oh my god let's go on a trip to see the internet," you say excitedly. "Can we go in a car? I like going for car rides."

"YES WE WILL LEAVE AT ONCE," the blood hound says. "JUMP ONTO MY BACK AND I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE INTERNET."

"Wait," you say, suddenly cautious. "Is this a trick. How come you were chasing those ducks they seemed like pretty nice ducks to me are you a bad guy?"

"I AM THE FINAL BOSS OF THE INTERNET. OF COURSE I AM A BAD GUY," the blood hound replies. "BUT REALLY BEING A BAD GUY IS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER JOB. SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT, YOU KNOW."

"That makes sense," you say.

"COME ON. LET'S GO SEE THE INTERNET."

*********************************

1. Yaaaay let's go to the internet

2. Poor weeping willow maybe I should go lick the hurt spot

3. wait a minute I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING uhhh I don't remember
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #163 on: December 11, 2010, 12:57:27 AM »

Licking is good.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #164 on: December 11, 2010, 12:59:33 AM »

its true i dont remember at all :3c
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #165 on: April 11, 2011, 10:01:01 PM »

2. Poor weeping willow maybe I should go lick the hurt spot

"I'm sorry Duck Hunt Dog, but I don't want to be a bad guy," you bark, and turn to go running over to the weeping willow, who is, er, weeping.

"YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ANYTHING OF YOURSELF PUPPY!" the dog shouts at you as you flee. Though, maybe he's not shouting? It's hard to tell because everything is in caps. "YOU'LL BE A FAILURE FOREVER AND NOBODY WILL LOVE YOU."

Ignoring him, you approach the Willow and lick the hurt spot with your tongue.

"You tase lih gass," you say.

"Thank you, puppy," the Willow hiccups in tree. You can't understand it because the subtitles went off the screen too fast.

"Wait! Wait! Say that again!" you say.

"Thank you, puppy," the Willow says again.

You pounce on the words as they appear.

"Got you!" you say, holding up the 'p' from "puppy".

"Puppy, you are truly a kind soul to --"

You spit out the p and chase the subtitles off into the meadow. "You shan't escape again!" you bark at the fleeing words.

"All according to keikaku," says the Willow.

You leap upwards and grasp the tail end of "plan". As it vanishes off the screen you fall to the ground with a thump.

Suddenly, Rainbow flops onto the grass next to you, gasping.

"Puppy!" he exclaims. "Shouldn't you be getting back to your quest?"

"I don't remember what I was supposed to be doing," you say, sitting down on your haunches.

"I..." Rainbow considers. "You know what, I don't remember either."

You bark excitedly. "Does that mean I get a new quest?!"

"Sure," says Rainbow. "Do you still have your bomb?"

"DO I?!" you say, pulling it out.

"Okay! Your new quest is to DISCOVER THE SECRET OF FOXES FOREST."

"Oh. My. God," you say. "Is it that you can't leave him alone with the Chicken?"

"Indeed," Rainbow says. "Uh. Okay, your new quest is TO DISCOVER THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS."

"Kittens!" you reply.

"Damn," Rainbow says, thinking. A bird flies by.

"MY NEW QUEST IS TO FOLLOW THAT BIRD!" you exclaim, before scampering after it. Rainbow futilely flops after you.

"Wait! No! Puppy! I have to warn you! You're still in the dre --"

But you've already left the scene.

***************************

Meanwhile...

***************************

"That blasted Puppy will not elude me again!" exclaims the Rabbit, hopping through the forest. Every once in awhile he pauses to sniff the wind and look in all directions. "I've hunted the most dangerous and elusive criminals escaped from Theta-4! I've defeated Kings and Queens and Masters! I've bested intelligences from all reaches of time and space! I will NOT be confounded by a mere --"

Suddenly, a bird flies by, the puppy hot on its heels.

"Hey wait! Hey! Bird! I want to ask you about the secret to laying eggs! Do you need to be a bird because I thought you needed to be a bird to fly but then I found out you could just ride a bird so maybe I figured if you let me ride you I could lay an egg? And then I would hold it in my mouth and play with it and oh hi Rabbit how are you doing and then when it hatched I could name it Eggy and we could have adventures together and maybe one day Eggy will grow into a wise sage that will grant me wishes and --"

Rabbit sits there, his eyes narrowed. A rainbow trout flops feebly after the puppy.

"Puppy! You must not ignore your destiny!" he exclaims.

"This calls for extreme measures," Rabbit says, assuming a fighting stance. With one paw, he thrusts forward and a wall of earth juts up in front of puppy, who crashes into it with a huge oof!

*****************************

"Ow, my nose," you say, rubbing the tender spot.

"Puppy! Look out behind you!" warns Rainbow. "Rabbit is here and --"

"Interfering fish!" says Rabbit. With a quick motion he causes earth to erupt all around Rainbow, then with a twist of his paw, sucks Rainbow into the ground, leaving only a smooth pile of dirt.

You gasp. "That is a forbidden technique!"

"Why?" asks Rabbit. "Why should we fear to use it?"

"A palantir is a dangerous tool," you reply. "We do not -- wait. I thought we were during an Avatar reference now?"

Rabbit shrugs.

"BUT ENOUGH TALK!" you say, teleporting with a flash of light and releasing three fireballs at Rabbit.

"Wait wait wait," says Former Gangbanger Kitten, walking up nonchalantly. "This is all wrong."

"The secret to happiness!" you bark, and tackle FGK.

"Listen, Rabbit can't be an earthbender. And you certainly can't be shooting fire. You need to be air, and Rabbit should be fire," says FGK, brushing you off.

"You are a pretty good fit for Zuko," you observe. "You used to be in a gang but really you're just a big hugly wugly kittycat!"

"Yes, yes, of course," says FGK. "And GIANT ENEMY CRAB can be Katara. He was shooting water at you earlier when we were doing Bleach."

"Oooh ooh then can SPACE POLICE BEAR be Ty --"

"ENOUGH!" roars Rabbit. "NOW WITNESS TRUE POWER! FROM THE DEPTHS OF SPACE I LEARNED THIS TECHNIQUE! METALBENDING!"

"WHAT NO THAT MAKES YOU TOPH AND THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" you bark.

"I AM NOT TOPH!" Rabbit says. "I AM MELONLORD! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA --"

Suddenly, a large escape pod lands on top of Rabbit. There is a hiss of air and the hatch opens.

"THERE HAS BEEN A VIOLATION OF SPACE LAW, SECTION 8 ARTICLE 14. THERE WILL BE NO AVATAR REFERENCES WITHIN FIVE HUNDRED FEET OF A CHOICE INVOLVING LOBSTERS," bellows Space Police Bear.

"But --" you start to say.

*************************************

1. YOUR NEW QUEST IS TO MASTER THE FOUR ELEMENTS

2. HEY WHERE DID THAT BIRD GO

3. WAIT A MINUTE I DON'T SEE ANYTHING HERE ABOUT LOBSTERS -- OHHHHHHH YOUUUUUU
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Romosome

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #166 on: April 11, 2011, 10:06:32 PM »

LOBSTER STICKS TO MAGNET
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #167 on: April 11, 2011, 10:49:51 PM »

Fuck it, let's apuptheosize.
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #168 on: April 14, 2011, 01:03:01 PM »

there are clearly no lobsters here i am on to your shenanigans
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #169 on: September 10, 2011, 01:30:52 AM »

1. YOUR NEW QUEST IS TO MASTER THE FOUR ELEMENTS

"MY NEW QUEST IS TO MASTER THE FOUR ELEMENTS!" you bark excitedly.

"Yes, yes, Puppy. We can all read the bolded text at the start of this post," Rabbit rolls his eyes.

"OK SO uhhhh I guess I am Aang, the last Airbender," you say, as you are suddenly covered in a giant arrow tattoo. "Which makes Former Gangbanger Kitty Zuko because he used to be bad but now he is good, and Giant Enemy Crab is Katara because I guess he was shooting compressed water out of his claws when we were doing Bleach?"

"Which makes me Toph, of course," Rabbit says idly.

"NO YOU CAN'T BE TOPH. I GET TO BE TOPH," you scowl.

"You just said you wanted to be -- wait. Why am I even talking to you? Perish, puppy!"

And with that, RABBITLORD OZAI brings up both of his paws --

"Wait, RABBITLORD OZAI?" asks Rabbitlord Ozai. "No way. I am not going to get a silly name like everyone else in this absurd story. I refuse."

"But how can I defeat the Rabbitlord without killing him?" you ponder.

"What's the matter, RABBITLORD?" asks FBK suddenly. "Why haven't you used your lightning? Afraid I'll REDIRECT IT?"

"That line was supposed to be said to Space Police Bear Azula, you idiot," says Rabbitlord Ozai. "You're mucking everything up and -- wait. What did I just say? Space Police Bear Azula. What. Space Polic -- No. Uh. Zue. La. Ok. Space Polic -- Oh god damn it."

"I HATE YOU MOM," says Space Police Bear Azula.

"THIS ENDS RIGHT NOW," Rabbitlord Ozai says. "I WILL USE THE POWER OF RAINBOW TROUT'S COMET TO -- what?! No I won't! What the hell is -- Arrrrrgh!"

And with that, Rabbitlord Ozai shoots like a million fireballs at you.

"I remember what to do!" you bark. "Press up!"

*******************************

1. DODGE THOSE FIREBAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLS

2. The last airbender: The Avatar State

3. Let's go find Former Gangbanger Zuko's Mom! Yaaaaaay new quest
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Ted Belmont

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #170 on: September 10, 2011, 03:50:29 AM »

3
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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #171 on: September 10, 2011, 08:47:12 AM »

333
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #172 on: September 10, 2011, 09:13:09 AM »

3
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #173 on: September 10, 2011, 01:02:06 PM »

3. Let's go find Former Gangbanger Zuko's Mom! Yaaaaaay new quest

"We're gonna find your mom, FGK!" you bark excitedly, dashing out of the path of the fireballs, which all explode harmlessly on trees.

"Uh, I think my mom was a housecat," FGK says.

"No no no. Your mom was exiled by Rabbitlord Ozai! Let's go find her! Appa! Come on!"

A chicken flies down and you mount him.

"Appa away!"

The chicken begins to rise off the ground.

"You won't get away!" Rabbitlord Ozai says, and starts using his cool looking fire jet things.

Space Police Bear Azula sniffs. "Mommy?"

MEANWHILE

Rainbow pokes you with a stick, where you lay muttering and barking softly in the soft meadow grass.

"Wake up, puppy! Your destiny! You can't just sleep having themed adventures forever!"

MEANWHILE

You've searched for FGK's mom for a hundred years, but alas, could not find her no matter how many islands you checked.

"Oh well," you say. "I guess we'll just have to wait for Legend of Korra."

Suddenly, Koh appears in the sky next to you.

"I know where she is," Koh says, smiling with a stolen face.

"THE FACE STEALER KOH!" you bark. "I MUST KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE OR ELSE HE WILL STEAL MY FACE AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE STEAL MY FACE. THIS ONE TIME A BOY STOLE MY NOSE AND I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT BACK I MUST SMELL TERRIBLE."

Koh regards you. "Yes, uh. So, do you want to know where Zuko -- er, FGK, whatever his name is, where his mom is?"

"DO I?!" you ask.

"Then you'll have to get me something I want," Koh smiles.

"No, I'm actually asking you. Do I?! I can't remember what I was doing. I think I might be asleep."

"If you find Mom, you can wake up," Koh says.

"OH GOOD I AM TIRED OF HAVING THEMED ADVENTURES AND WANT TO ADVANCE THE PLOT."

"Plot?" Koh echoes softly. "I don't think this story has any predetermined plot. Preeeeeeeeeety sure it's just made up literally from sentence to sentence."

Just then, Rabbitlord Ozai finally caught up to you.

"I have been searching for you for 100 years and this time you won't get away from me this time," Rabbitlord says.

You look at him.

"Oh god damn it I'm not real," Rabbitlord laments. "I would never talk so badly if I were my real self. I'm just a figment of your stupid mind, you blasted puppy!"

Suddenly, Koh steals Rabbit's unhappy face.

"I will now tell you where FGK's mom is," Rabbitlord Koh says.

"YOU HAVE UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL WHO WILL ONE DAY RETURN AS THE FINAL BOSS, FOOLISH PUPPY," Faceless Rabbit says, somehow.

"Koh is the Duck Hunt dog?" you say doubtfully.

Rabbitlord Koh laughs. "No no no, I'm going to be the final boss of dreamworld. He's just the final boss of the internet. Anyway. Uh. Zuko's mom was inside you all along?"

"I KNEW IT," you say.

"Peace," Rabbitlord Koh says, and vanishes.

You are attempting to look inside you but you just keep bumping your nose into your flank. "Ooof! Hey wait my nose! I found my nose! yaaaaaaay"

"I am so totally going to kill you now," Faceless Rabbit says, readying his fire balls.

Suddenly, Adult Toph totally flies up riding a metal chicken and she's super hot.

"Run, twinklepuppy!" Adult Toph says.

"How are you flying?!" says Faceless Rabbit. "AND BEFORE YOU SAY YOU ARE METALBENDING THE METAL CHICKEN I INSIST THAT EVEN IN A DREAM SCENARIO THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE."

"I'm metalbending the air molecules," Toph says.

"What." says Rabbit.

"Well there's a small amount of metal even in the air," Toph explains. "I can use the tiny amount of iron and other dirt molecules to --"

"FINE I ACCEPT YOUR BULLSHIT X-MEN LIKE EXPLANATION," Rabbit says, "BUT THEN WHY THE CHICKEN."

"To get to the other side," Adult Toph explains.

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Suddenly the air erupts in flames and you are all thrown to the ground, landing right next to a pristine little hut with a nice garden and a waterfall and it's really quite tranquil you should really see how I'm picturing it like it's got a little bridge over the water and it's sort of japanese themed you know with ninjas

"Ninjas!" you bark. "Are we gonna do Naruto now?!"

"NO." say Adult Toph and Rabbit simultaneously.

You look dejected.

Adult Toph erects a huge wall of earth between you and Rabbit. (Heh heh, that's not all she erects) She then does a twisting jump which is totally fanservice.

"What do we do now, Twinklepuppy?" Adult Toph asks.

*********************************

1. THE ZUKOS MOM IS COMING FROM INSIDE YOU GET OUT OF YOU

2. Man Adult Toph is not nearly as cool a little Toph but at least now I don't have to pretend I'm not a pedophile

3. Wait, my chicken is named Appa? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE APPA IS A WIND BISON THIS MUST BE A DREAM TIME TO WAKE UP
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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #174 on: September 11, 2011, 05:04:44 AM »

all moms must get out of puppies with immediacy
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Friday

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #175 on: September 11, 2011, 02:30:11 PM »

OH NO ALL THREE OPTIONS HAVE EXACTLY ONE VOTE

LETS DO ALL OF THEM

Smiling, Adult Toph saunters over to you. "I've heard you want more fanservice," she purrs.

"Do... do I?" you whine softly.

"Well this is your dream, isn't it?" Toph smiles, scratching right behind your ear.

"Oh god yes don't stop. Don't stop. Right there. Oh, there goes my leg. MY LEG IS GOING NOW DON'T STOP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA", you convulse.

"Who's a good dog, whose a good dog, yes you're a good dog, you're a good boy, yes you are! Yes you are!"

"I AM SUCH A GOOD DOG YOU HAVE NO IDEA ONE TIME I RESCUED THE PRESIDENT FROM NINJAS OK I MADE THAT UP BUT I TOTALLY WOULD IF THE PRESIDENT EVER GOT KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS," you explain, rolling onto your back.

Toph begins stroking your belly. "Oh my you're such a good boy WHOSEAGOODBOYYESYOUAREGOODBOYYESGOODBOYYESYOUAREAGOODBOY,"

"I... I'm a ... good boy!" you say, and explode.

No. Literally.

Toph wipes some errant puppy off her face. Looking up, she sees a large cat standing where you used to be.

"Uh, hello?" Toph says.

"I am Former Gangbanger Zuko's Mom," the cat says. "I have returned from Space to bring peace to the galaxy."

Just then, Space Police Azula lands in her pod right next to them and immediately hops out.

"YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF SPACE LAW STATUTE FOURTY-EIGHT DASH SEVEN FOUR," Space Police Azula says. "AS THE LAST METROID IS IN CAPTIVITY, THE GALAXY IS ALREADY AT PEACE."

Zuko's Mom and Azula square off.

"Do you really think you have any chance against me?" Azula sneers. "I'm the greatest firebender there ever was! I mean come on my fire is freakin' blue for christs sake."

Zuko's Mom remains impassive. "You may be the stronger firebender, but I have one thing you don't," she says calmly.

"And what's that?" Azula asks.

"I AM NOT LEFT HANDED!"

FWOOOOSH

And then Zuko's Mom and Azula had this amazing, incredible Agna Kai, and Zuko's Mom was almost able to beat Azula but then at the last minute Azula used her like super volleyball spike attack and Zuko's Mom fell but Azula wasn't able to finish her off and started crying and then Zuko's Mom got up and started walking toward her with her arms open and Azula was still crying and doing that thing where she like doesn't want to be touched? but you know she wants to be touched so she's lobbing little fireballs at Zuko's Mom but Zuko's Mom just keeps getting hit on purpose and advancing while Azula is screaming about how she doesn't need love and then Zuko's Mom gets close and Azula's tears are like literally steaming off her cheeks and Zuko's Mom just says "Azula." and then Azula screams NOOOOOOOO but then Zuko's Mom hugs her and Azula is like sobbing now and just sort of falls forward into her Mom's embrace and Zuko's Mom is like "I always loved you" and Azula is like "I'm so sorry Mom, I'm so sorry, sob sob sob"

"Gets me every time," you say, having reformed because seriously you weren't going to miss an Agna Kai between Zuko's Mom and Azula.

"Now that you're good again, Azula," Zuko's Mom asks, "What are you gonna do?"

"I guess I'll travel the world making amends for my faul -- wait. My space radio! OH NO CERES STATION IS UNDER ATTACK BBL"

And then Space Police Azula got back into her pod and went to space where she died on the way to Ceres Station.

THE END

"Wait, what?" you say confusedly, yawning. You appear to be lying in a meadow.

"Puppy! You're finally awake!" Rainbow says. "You must now complete your destiny!"

You sit up and shake all over. "Man, that was some dream. I think my favorite part was when I exploded all over Toph."

"I'm going to pretend you just didn't say anything," Rainbow says. "Listen, you must travel to the wastelands and meet with the Twin Serpents of --"

"Truth and Falsehood," you finish. "Pretty sure I already did that? And then there was a mouse and he got stolen by Mean Mister Eagle and then I went into a forest and there was Duck Hunt Dog and a weeping Willow and I attacked his subtitles and then I saw Rabbit! but he had his face stolen!"

Rainbow regards you gravely. "Your destiny must be to separate the dream world and the real world, puppy. They are starting to bleed together, and only a brave puppy can properly set things back to status quo."

You nod. "My adventure continues!"

MEANWHILE

Rabbitlord Koh slides languidly over his throne. "Do we have a deal?" he asks, smiling.

Duck Hunt Dog giggles that damn giggle. "WE HAVE A DEAL. TIME TO JOIN FORCES AND TAKE OVER THE DREAM WORLD AND THE INTERNET."

DUN DUN DUN

MEANWHILE

Rabbit (the real one, not Faceless Rabbit who doesn't exist anymore because you woke up duh PAY ATTENTION) was hopping through the forest cursing his luck.

"By the pagan gods, I despise that puppy so much. Knowing my luck, we'll be forced to temporarily join forces to combat a greater evil while learning the true value of friendship," he curses.

MEANWHILE

Adult Toph stood in the dreamworld, still covered in puppy. "Uh, is anyone there? Where'd everyone go?"

MEANWHILE

The Boy with Mittens looked up from his snowman. "It's finally complete. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

MEANWHILE

"OH MY GOD THAT LAST MEANWHILE HAD A BOY WITH MITTENS IN IT," you say.

"Puppy! You must now begin your true quest! The dream world and the real world and something called the internet are threatened! You must --"

"Wait," you say, interrupting Rainbow. "If Rabbitlord Koh and Duck Hunt Dog are the final bosses of the dream world and the internet, then who's the final boss of the real world?"

"Uh, I guess Barack Obama would be?" Rainbow shrugs.

"INDEED," says Barack Obama, touching down with his jetpack. "I AM HERE TO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH ON ANY OF MY CAMPAIGN PROMISES AND ALSO WORK AGAINST MY OWN PARTY."

"Al Gore would have been a better President than you!" you taunt.

Barack looks hurt. Even Rainbow looks chagrined. "Puppy, that's not a very nice thing to say."

"Well it's probably true," you say.

Barack starts crying. "You're right, it is true, I'm so sorry, I'll go back to the White House now and start, you now, actually working for the people," he says, and leaps into the air with his jetpack.

FINAL BOSS OF THE REAL WORLD DEFEATED 10000000 EXP and 500 GOLD

Courage and wit have served thee well, for thou hast been promoted to the next level.

Ears increase by 4!
Tail increase by 2!
Sweet! Barking increased by 6!
Cuteness increased by 1!

Realized the power of Puppy Omega!

"OH MAN PUPPY OMEGA," you say.

Rainbow just shakes his head. "With the boss of the real world defeated, I'm afraid it will just leave a power vacuum that must be filled. Another will surely take his place."

"Yeah but who could be worse than Obama?" you ask.

MEANWHILE

McCain slides languidly over his throne. "Do we have a deal?" he asks, smiling.

Former President George Bush, Jr, giggles that damn giggle. "WE HAVE A DEAL. TIME TO JOIN FORCES AND TAKE OVER THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA."

MEANWHILE

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT PUPPY NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID," Rainbow berates you angrily.

"It's not my fault! Well at least now things couldn't possibly get any worse," you offer.

It begins to pour rain.

"You just don't get it, do you, puppy," Rainbow says, and hops back in his stream.

"WAIT! What am I supposed to do now? I mean I guess this post has sort of outlined my overall goals (FINALLY) but how am I supposed to even get started!? I mean come on it's not like a puppy knows anything about politics or anything! My areas of expertise go more toward holding things in my mouth."

But Rainbow does not answer.

Soaking wet now, you dejectedly amble off in a random direction into the forest.

"Well I guess I have to focus on one boss at a time," you finally conclude. "So I could go back to sleep to enter the dreamworld, or try to find this internet thing, or run for mayor of the forest so as to enter the political arena?"

***********************************

1. Yawwwwwwwwwwwnzzzzzzz here I come Rabbitlord Koh oh man I wonder if Adult Toph is still waiting for me

2. The internet is a mysterious treasure, but maybe the boy with Mittens might know something? And if he doesn't then well you know Mittens

3. A VOTE FOR PUPPY IS A VOTE FOR CHANGE AND ALSO FOR PUPPY

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Brentai

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #176 on: September 11, 2011, 02:43:59 PM »

As much as I want to see The Puppy Mayor, I can't not vote for any option involving Adult Toph.  ANY OPTION.
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Romosome

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #177 on: September 11, 2011, 02:46:31 PM »

PUPPY MUST CONQUER THIS WORLD BEFORE HE MOVES ON TO THE NEXT
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Guild

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #178 on: September 11, 2011, 06:03:33 PM »

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Cthulhu-chan

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Re: The Adventures of CPE (The Cutest Puppy EVER)
« Reply #179 on: September 12, 2011, 02:13:02 AM »

A VOTE FOR NOT-PUPPY IS A VOTE FOR COMMUNISM.

BETTER DEAD THAN RED.


edit for i speel gud
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