Man, I don't even get the ones for languages I know. ...except the FORTRAN one.
Let's see...
Assembly: You keep a notepad and pencil around to make sure you remember exactly where your gun, bullet, and foot are at all times. When you finally shoot you miss anyway because you're not built the way you thought you were.
ASP: You CreateBulletHole yourself in the LowerMobilityObject.
BASIC: You pretend to shoot yourself in the foot in preparation for the real thing.
C: you foot shoot
C++: foot of you shoot
C#: You spend a huge amount of time building a new gun to shoot yourself in the foot with because the gun you have doesn't shoot. Then you realize you don't have a foot.
CSS: You try to find your foot in order to shoot it, but since your leg is relatively positioned your foot is now floating 50 meters to the right of where it should be.
HTML: You can't actually shoot anything, but the client refuses to believe that, so you have to find some way to make your foot shot.
HyperTalk: You take a bullet hole and put it in your foot.
Java: object.entity.human.earthling.programmer.java.party.third.shoot( object.entity.human.earthling.programmer.java.party.third.foot )
JavaScript: You shoot in every place your foot could possibly be in.
Linux: You have permission to shoot, but you don't have access to your foot.
Matlab: You'll need to take an entire 9-week course to learn how to do it, but afterwards you'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot countless times from every conceivable angle.
MOO: You shoot yourself in the foot. Ten other users see you shoot yourself in the foot and shoot themselves in BOTH feet. You decide shooting feet is stupid anyway and have cybersex with a chihuahua.
MS-DOS: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but all your bullets are locked in the safe.
.NET: You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody will ever know.
Perl: It takes 500 lines to shoot yourself in the foot. The next version of Perl will implement it as a standard function.
PHP: You shoot yourself in the foot. You now have no idea whether or not your foot has been shot.
sh: sudo u sht ft -ow
SQL: You forget to specify whose foot you're shooting and end up shooting everyone in the foot.
Visual Basic: You shoot yourself in the foot. As a side effect, your hand is now also shot.
Windows 95: You can't shoot yourself in the foot because you don't have enough bullets.
Windows XP: You can't shoot yourself in the foot because you don't have the right kind of bullets.
Windows Vista: You can't shoot yourself in the foot because you have too many bullets.
XML: You already know how to shoot yourself in the foot, but just in case, here's everything you need to know, starting with how to breathe in and out while you look for the gun...
BONUS STAGE
ActionScript: You tie one end of a string around the trigger and attach the other end to the font door, carefully position the gun in front of your foot, and invite a friend over.
BBCode: It's undocumented, but you actually can shoot yourself in the foot. You just have to fire the bullet out your ass.
ColdFusion: Nobody really knows how the hell you're supposed to shoot feet, but somehow or another your foot gets shot. You decide to leave it at that.
Drupal: You have a perfectly good gun to shoot yourself in the foot with, but the client demands you shoot yourself with a sledgehammer.
Game Maker: You can't figure out where your foot went, so you import a new one and shoot it. Your old foot later emerges in the worst possible place, at the worst possible time.
Nintendo DS: You shoot yourself in the foot, but have to do it again because Nintendo demands you call it "firing at yourself in the bottom appendage."
OpenGL: You rotate the world around your gun until your foot is in front of it, then shoot.
PSP: You shoot yourself in the foot, but have to do it again because Sony copyrighted The Foot(c) two days ago.
RPG Maker: By using thousands of event flags in unintended ways you manage to recreate the effect of being shot in the foot. Now you must rewrite the code on every map.
Second Life: You shoot downwards and hope that everyone realizes that you're supposed to be shooting yourself in the foot.
Source: You shoot yourself in the foot. The force of impact sends you flying hundreds of feet into the air.
SVN: You shoot yourself in the foot, then decide you didn't want to do that. You try to roll back, and suddenly 500 guns appear and shoot you in the foot.
TESCS: You shoot yourself in the foot. Bethesda removes all feet from their next game.
VERGE: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but only one person has managed to do so in the last decade.
XNA: Your foot's already been shot, it's just kind of hard to tell.
X-Box Live: You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody cares.
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Topic: Programmers' Wanking Corner (Read 20777 times)