Judge orders lesbian couple to split using or lose custody of their child

The judge uses a seemingly archaic "morality clause" in the divorce papers Page Price, saying she will lose her kid if she has anyone who is not related "by blood or marriage" to her after 9 p.m.  The guy she is divorcing doesn't seem to care about the kids, and was arrested for felony-stalking in 2011.

Unmasking Reddit’s Violentacrez, The Biggest Troll on the Web

As sad as just changing the title to "Shootings" would be, well:

Gunman opens fire in Sikh temple in Wisconsin, kills 7

I didn't even know a live action Akira was in the works, but the idea that it could potentially star Robert Pattinson as Tetsuo and Justin Timberlake as Kaneda is nothing short of spectacular

I just moved into a new apartment, and everything is great except I won't get internet until Wednesday!



Plus all you bros are invited to my apartment, just drop by anytime.

Also my favorite leftist restaurant is shutting down in like two months because some jerk bought the building and wants to put a pizza place in there, which is good because we only had like 268 pizza places and we really needed 269.

The latest attack on Wikileaks comes courtesy of quickly fading standard bearer CNN, who claim that Wikileaks released a document detailing the locations of security risk targets in America and abroad

WikiLeaks has published a secret U.S. diplomatic cable listing places the United States considers vital to its national security, prompting criticism that the website is inviting terrorist attacks on American interests.

State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the disclosure "gives a group like al Qaeda a targeting list." The sites are included in a lengthy cable the State Department sent in February 2009 to its posts around the world, asking American diplomats to identify installations overseas "whose loss could critically impact the public health, economic security, and/or national and homeland security of the United States."

The diplomats identified dozens of places on every continent, including mines, manufacturing complexes, ports and research establishments. CNN is not publishing specific details from the list, which refers to pipelines and undersea telecommunications cables as well as the location of minerals or chemicals critical to U.S. industry.

Titillating!  I am literally agape with fear, ready to vote for whatever politician projects the most manly demeanor and promises to use the highest level of lethal force to alleviate my fears.  But being the curious citizen that I am, I decided to look up the cable in question.

State Department sent in February 2009
...
The cable is classified secret and not for review by non-U.S. personnel.

Here we are: REQUEST FOR INFORMATION:CRITICAL FOREIGN DEPENDENCIES (CRITICAL INFRASTRUCTURE AND KEY RESOURCES LOCATED ABROAD) created 2009-2-18

Unless I'm mistaken, that's under the classification of SECRET//NOFORN, which I assume means Secret and not for Non-US.  Either way, it seems to describe the cable mentioned in the CNN story.

It does indeed list potential targets.  At least, that they exist.  And are located somewhere.  Assuming you can make out what the massive wall of text at the bottom is actually saying.

CNN is not publishing specific details from the list, which refers to pipelines and undersea telecommunications cables as well as the location of minerals or chemicals critical to U.S. industry.

Emphasis mine

I, unfortunately, lack the scruples of CNN and will gleefully publish this data (again) and not just how to find this data. 

Straits of Malacca  Japan: C2C Cable Network undersea cable landing, Chikura, Japan C2C Cable Network undersea cable landing, Shima, Japan China-US undersea cable, Okinawa, Japan EAC undersea cable landing Ajigaura, Japan EAC undersea cable landing

Yeah, that certainly does tell me that undersea telecommunications cables existed.  I guess if not for this document I would have assumed the islands around Japan and the mainland got their internet by unicorn magic.

In short, this story is a bunch of crap, and CNN is trying to get some shots at Assange in.

Also:

Diplomats also identified sites of strategic importance for supplying U.S. forces and interests abroad, such as in the Strait of Hormuz, the Persian Gulf and the Panama Canal

I didn't need a Wikileaks document to tell me that shit.

Happy America Day!

Jimi Hendrix - Star Spangled Banner (Live At Woodstock 1969)


Time to go throw a well-marinated brisket on the grill and enjoy the sort of okay weather!

So society has gone down the shitter.  Obamacare has bankrupted America, causing Capitalism to wither and die and freedom-less socialism to creep over the landscape, consuming all in a horrible maelstrom of oppression and Nazism.  Your fellow, freedom-loving Americans are force fed into giant incinerators and the resultant fatty pulp processed into the widely available Obamaburger for everyone else.  Things are grim.  Hella grim.  There's just no place for one who loves liberty in this world.

And then as if to bring hope in these dark times, a secretive cabal made up of prominent businessmen approach you and announce that they have plans to secede a portion of the United States and create a conservative libertarian paradise, where man will be free and untaxed and not have to worry about welfare when they're older or having health care provided by the government - who use advanced machines to calculate your worth in society.  Their influence and vast wealth has allowed them to secure a parcel of land from the government, as long as they promise not to lead any anti-government freedom fighters against the state.  But they're given a choice between two different spots of land, and they've turned to you for guidance.

One piece is about 5 miles off the eastern seaboard in the Atlantic ocean.  There you would build an underwater paradise, where you would be free to live life as you see fit.  These titanic men of industry have developed technologies that allow you to farm land, breath freely, desalinize the ocean water and light up a cigarette or compressor without fear of producing a life engulfing fireball.  It'd be a pretty sweet proposition, and it totally wouldn't end up like in some games I could mention.

The other option is a parcel of land beneath the surface in Utah.  Massive drills are at the ready to begin digging through the surface and establishing a network of tunnels for which to begin building a a super-society.  Many of the technologies that would power the underwater city could also be beneficial here.  They can simulate daylight in a way that your body would feel good about, even if it doesn't quite capture the warmth and beauty of a real sunny day.  But the government would allow you to dig as deep as possible, and rock is easier to expand into than water, even if you don't get the stunning vistas or easy access to shipping lines.

The one catch, the businessmen explain, is that once you've begun your society you can never return.  Inside your underwater fortress or your underground society is where you'll live out the rest of your life, the only place your children will ever know, and the only land for their grandchildren and so forth.  You'll be responsible for a new world that must accommodate this new world order.

So, where do you want to live the rest of your life?

IT IS THE HUMAN HOLIDAY KNOWN AS EASTER!

For those unfamiliar, Easter is the time once every 100 years when the vampire lord Jesus rises from his tomb and feasts for 24 hours on the fat of the living.  For most of us this means gorging on cheap candy and trying to avoid family.

Even though I'm a non-believer, I still have a bag of chocolate eggs and Milky Way bars and I'm going to get fat and probably play video games.  What are your plans to defend yourself against the blood-thirsty son of the lord?

polls are fun