Tonight on Classic rambles about stuff: Disney's
AladdinSo in what could best be described as a climatically bad decision for the day, I decided to switch out
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen* for
Aladdin into the VHS deck. With a decade between me and it I suddenly realize how I felt that the animated series was (almost) a worthwhile extension of its narrative when I was younger.
To make matters worse, I was
just too young to really grasp how fantastically oversexed it was.
Watching it again, the following "thoughts" came to mind:
While doing the "Whole New World" number, the star couple visit the African Savannah, Greece, and China (and also maybe the clouds and egypt which makes the connection less worthwhile). I made maybe too big a deal out of it, as it's without a visit to the Americas or to France, but for some reason I prefer to imagine that both Pocahontas and Notre Dame aren't part of Disney cannon. The first because I didn't see it and the second because the lead femme is saucier than Jasmine and I don't want to join in the ranks of sad little
boys people for whom Disney "princesses" had any sort of involvement in their sexual awakenings.
Also apparently vast new magical power demands that even one of the most controlled, intelligent villains be reduced to stupid puns. You're going to undo the carpet's weaving as it races to collect the lamp for your rival, you say, "Things are
UNRAVELING fast now, boy!" You toss his girlfriend into a slow hourglass deathtrap, "Your
TIME is up, Princess!" You toss down a wall of curved swords to impede him and say, "Get the
POINT?" You turn his pet monkey into a novelty clockwork monkey, "Don't
TOY with me!"
Which reminds me. It didn't bother me at the time, and only really bothers me a little bit now, but Aladdin has entirely too many cute/animal sidekicks. The most conservative and unfair estimate numbers them at 3, which is bogus because in addition to Abu, Raja, and Iago (who is still a comic relief animal sidekick and doesn't get out of it because he's also Gilbert Gottfried), the Carpet (who is still basically an animal sidekick except he doesn't talk. He just has to rely on cute gestures and having a fabulous purple and gold pattern) is excluded because he is not actually an animal. My most generous count goes up to 9.
*As to what will become of the baron: He will be pulled back into the deck when I have another girl or two to put to sleep. Apparently awesome bores girls.
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