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[R^2]

Fair enough. Let's go see him.


That's... uncharacteristic of you...


King Tietra: I have one last request to ask of each of you... Please... listen carefully... Gordon... you've grown so strong... I want you to lead our army! Do all that you can to help Hilda...
Gordon: My Liege... I swear it on my very life.
King Tietra: Minwu... You know of the legend... The legend that speaks of an ultimate magic... It's been sealed away, and the seal may only be broken when the world stands at the brink of destruction... I believe that time has come. Do you agree?
Minwu: I do. The time to break the seal binding the Ultima tome is upon us!
King Tietra: Firion... I would hae you go to Deist, home of the dragoons. I was told that all of the dragoons were slain in an attack by the empire. Yet I refuse to believe there could be no survivors in so noble a group. If we are to stand against the might of the empire, I am convinced we will need the dragoons and their wyverns. If you combine your efforts... the day of our victory... will come. This I ask... of each of you!


The screen darkens.






...Wow. Gordon's not mopey and useless? He really has changed.

Gordon: We must carry out the king's last wishes. We each hae our duties... Let them not go unfulfilled!

[R^2]

Gordon: A wyvern would make a potent ally. You should visit the port of Paloom and seek out a ship to take you to Deist.

k




Sailor: Just so happens me ship was about to leave for Deist. Be ye wantin' a ride?
Maria: Doesn't this seem a little too convenient, Firion?
Firion: Maybe it is, but there aren't any other ships going to Deist. We're just going to have to trust her.
Sailor: Me name's Leila! We'll be waitin' outside the city for ye. We'll weigh anchor as soon as you're set to go.






Leila. You got me on my knees.

Leila: We'll spare ye yer lies, but yer loot be ours now.




There are only eight pirates, and they're about as much of a challenge as Bikke's crew.

[R^2]

Leila: What are ye up to?

Leila: Ye want to fight the empire TOGETHER!? A bunch of outcasts like us, fightin' right alongside the likes of you...

Yeah, come on. I'm beggin', darlin' please.


Leila: To yer posts, boys! Whether it be Deist or the bloody edge of the world, we'll get ye there!


Leila dual-wields a sword and a dagger, and knows Thunder at level 4. She's not hyper-useful or anything, but she's at least well-prepared for the sea voyage she joins on.


The ship is mine to control, and unlike in the first game I can dock at any coastline I can walk on.


But I have no actual idea where Deist is, so I spend a lot of time sailing around lost looking for landmarks.




There are random encounters on the ocean that make exploration super-tedious, of course.


A big island with a settlement and a dungeon. That must be it.

[R^2]

It is at this point I notice Firion's evasion without any equipment is 99%, the maximum. So I give him some armor to increase his defense and it only drops to 83%, which is a lot higher than expected.


Anyway, here's the castle.


Yep, nailed it.








Child: I thought the empire had sent their soldiers after us again.


Woman: My husband was a dragoon. The imperial soldiers killed him along with the rest. My son and I are the only two left. In the room behind us is the last surviving wyvern. It seems to be trying to tell us something, but I cannot speak its tongue. If only we had one of the pendants, we would be able to understand it... The cavern of the wyverns lies north of this castle. That cavern may hold one of the pendants that allows us to speak the Wyvern's language.

Asking about Wyverns: The dragoons fought valiantly, but the empire knows no honor. They poisoned the wyvern's water. The wyverns writhed in agony until at last their breathing stopped...

[R^2]

Either I'm a lot stronger or these are mook versions of the red one I fought in Kashuan, because I can blow through groups of them with ease now.


I was lucky enough to choose the path that led directly to the glimmering helmet marking a dragoon's corpse.


Something nearby on the ground catches your eye... You find a pendant.


Firion: Will you help us?
Wyvern: The empire's poison already courses through my veins. I will not escape the fate that fell my brood. I have one last request to make of you. Take this egg to the cavern north of here and submerge it in the Life Spring. It is the last remaining Wyvern Egg. If it is not submerged in the Life Spring soon, it will wither and die.

[Brentai]

The dragoons fought valiantly, but the empire knows no honor. They poisoned the wyvern's water.

FF empires, amirite

[R^2]

All right then, let's go there.




I'm getting pretty fortunate with random drops. I get a Diamond Shield in one fight, and another Wing Sword after another. Considering the game hasn't offered me a new shop in quite a while, I need the upgrades.








I saw these guys in random encounters in a few places while I was sailing around, so they don't scare me. And the boss-ish battle with them didn't remove their vulnerability to being Toaded or Teleported.




...and... that's it. That's anticlimactic.




Woman: Someday it will hatch, and the wyvern will spread its great wings and soar through the sky for the rebels. The wyverns can't thank you for what you've done, so allow me to do so in their place. We are... grateful... *sob*

[R^2]

Hey, what's that over there?


It's a tiny island, with a cave.


Well, if it weren't for the monster-infested dungeon, it might be a nice place to take a vacation.


The monsters are the same as they were in Kashuan? Well, no sweat exploring it then.


Well, not entirely the same. Mousses and Jellies set up the way they behave in later games, being extremely resistant to physical hits but vulnerable to magic. Don't use the magic on them that matches their color, in this case red for fire and yellow for thunder.


The treasures here aren't worth the trip, though.




Somehow Guy has figured out what the treasure is!


This fight was originally against four Big Horns, but the first casting of Toad was the most potent.


Great!

...


...what's it do?

[R^2]

We can park near Altair with our new ship.


Yeah, I noticed that too...


Guess she has a lot of trauma from being kidnapped by the empire and then her dad dies as soon as she gets back?


A... a... lot of trauma...


Gordon: Could the king's death have affected her so deeply? I just don't know what I can do to help her. Would you try speaking to her for me?






Instead of just not entering, the game has Firion step into the room and split out into the entire party just so they can visibly leave.


Firion: Y-Your Highness...
Hilda: Why are you just standing there? I don't enjoy being teased.
Firion: Um...


What the hell, dude. She wants the D! Not every Final Fantasy protagonists gets to break it off in royalty, ya know.




Bwaaa-!






The party returns!


The Lamia Queen is a semitough fight but unlike most you're going in at full strength, without having a dungeon to wear you down first. I don't remember any clever or dangerous tricks, but she does wallop Maria for over 300 HP at one point.


Oh, I guess she puts party members to sleep too.




Leila: Enough to know ye shouldn't be lettin' yer guard down around fetching young ladies, I'd say.
Guy: Where real princess?

You know, Guy? Good fucking question. Did the Emperor assume we would break into the Dreadnought to rescue Hilda, and body-swapped her for a Lamia? Where was Cid during all this? Surely he didn't know, but they shared a cell...

[R^2]

Royal Guard: We've just heard a tournament is being held in Palamecia... and Princess Hilda is the prize!
Gordon: I'm coming with you. I... I want to help you rescue Hilda.

But Leila hasn't even died!


Leila: Me and me boys'll manager yer army. I run a tight ship. No need to fret over us.

That sounds like... a pretty terrible idea.




If I get your implication correctly, you're gonna get eaten by a Lamia someday.

[François]

Looking forward to the "PIRATEVILLE - LUBBERS STAY OUT - new mgmt" sign when you get back.

[Rico]

The Life Spring looks pretty Lazarus Pit-y. This is also one of the only FFs I haven't played, so thanks for taking one for the team.

[R^2]

The NES version is pretty torturous, but this version seems pretty okay so far. Granted, it's still an NES-era RPG, so you can have the plot bulletpointed for you and not really miss much.


If Gordon's going to be forced into my party again I'm going to use some of my extra tomes to teach him a couple of spells so he won't be complete deadweight.


And let's just assume the timing of this wasn't a coincidence and put on that Protect Ring before we go to see the Emperor about a contest.




On the way I wander into the swamp with the bombs that killed me before, and... won. I'm powerful enough to go wherever I want now? Before my hubris grows too great I'm ambushed by some imps with partywide Confuse VII, which is... less good.


Nonetheless, a little midgame sequence break doesn't seem all that impractical.


Black Mage: This is Mysidia, town of mages. You've certainly come a long way to be here.

White Mage: I believe it is as you say. The time to break the tower's seal is upon us.

Oh hey, is Minwu here then?

Red Mage: We've many ancient texts in our town. Please browse them at your leisure.

Blue Mage: Three artifacts protect the seal on the tower.

Green Mage: Some time ago, a wizard named Minwu passed through town on his way to the tower. You'd best hurry after him.

Purple Mage: A statue of a goddess is enshrined beneath the city. She watches over the crystal rods.

Yellow Mage: So you want to break the seal on the tower? Yes, I agree this is the time... We will do nothing to stop you. You must first collect the two masks, then travel to a cave you will find somewhere on this continent. Within you should find a crystal rod, an artifact you will need if you are to enter the tower.

Thanks for spelling that out for me! It also explains why I have this Black Mask.

Orange Mage: A very small island lies in the middle of the sea. There you'll find the Black Mask, the White Mask's counterpart.

I totally know! So where's the White Mask?

[R^2]

In a clever twist on the idea that is never repeated by any game ever as far as I know, you can access the lore on the bookshelf by selecting the keywords you want to look up.

Dragoons: The island of Deist was the ancestral home of the wyverns. A knight named Haan visited the island, and over a period of thirty years, he cultivated a bond with the wyverns. Haan later became the first dragoon.

Wyvern: A close relative of the dragon, the wyvern is a beast trained to serve as the airborne mount of the dragoons. Though smaller than a dragon, a wyvern's strength allows it to carry four to five people in the air.

Goddess's Bell: Once, long ago, a king ordered the making of an indestructible lock and key. Three sets were fashioned. The first was forged from friendship, the second from love, and the third from wonder. The sets forged from friendship and love were soon broken. But the third was wrought from the wonder evoked by the ringing of a single pure note, and it held fast. That key was the Goddess's Bell. So pleased was the king, he hid the bell away in a cavern of snow, where it rests to this day.

So it's wonder that opens the door in Kashuan Keep? Did Gordon do it because everyone wonders how he did something right for once?

Sunfire: In a time before the world knew castles or kingdoms, a star fell to the land now called Kashuan. A man gathered flame from the star and built an altar to enshrine it.

Airship: Recent technological advances have produced the airship. Should these technical arts proliferate, they could one day drive magic from the world.

Man that's pretty harsh I mean the Final Fantasy series has become a lot less high-fantasy and a bit more sci-fi but there's still somebody on every street corner who can cast Firaga.

Mythril: Mythril is a strong, easily processed metal. Highly responsive to magic, it forms the basis of magical armaments.

[R^2]

The weapon and armor shops have some nice upgrades, but this is a town of mages.


Aw yiss


Yeah gimme some of th-- wait, what?


What a letdown.


Okay, so only the guy in the middle has anything new. I pick up Holy for everyone, because why not. At Lyrai's request, I skip Swap, and here's why.

If you cast Swap, you exchange your HP and MP for your target's. It's kind of useless.

But the HP and MP maximums don't change, so if you cast it on a goblin, you drop to the goblin's 6 HP and the goblin shoots up to a couple hundred or thousand... which is then capped at 6. So you can still win the battle easily.

And at the end of the battle, the game goes "HOLY SHIT look at all the HP you lost!" and your HP, Stamina, and so on shoot up at gamebreakingly fast speeds. That's the Swap Trick, and I won't be using it unless lategame monsters get so strong I have to grind up and it becomes a timesaver more than an exploit.

[R^2]

On to Palamecia. There are, of course, new monsters to be found.


I could have walked around through Bafsk and Kashuan and hopped on the chocobo for the last stretch, I guess. To the game's credit, the imperial holdings make sense: the towns closest to Palamecia are Kashuan (which they destroyed), Bafsk (enslaved), Salamand (enslaved), and Deist (destroyed). After that comes Fynn, which kicks off the start of the game.






Here's my party setup. I've moved everyone's black magic down to the bottom of their lists, since I expect Holy to be my go-to HP damage spell for monsters I need to cast magic on but who seem particularly resistant to Toad or Teleport.

I'm not going to discard them entirely because who knows if I'll run into a beast that absorbs holy damage on top of all that.


I guess that's Palamecia castle up there in the mountains. For now I can only enter...




It's a straight walk through the battleground pit to the Emperor's throne, but as we approach, we are blocked by an iron gate.


Another gate slams shut over the way we came in.


Emperor Palamecia: To the victor goes Hilda, princess of Fynn!


Another gate opens, and...




That's... that's an iconic monster design for the series...

[R^2]

A behemoth!


Thankfully, the Behemoth doesn't have their standard schtick from later games yet. Instead of countering every physical hit with a stronger physical hit and countering all magic with Meteor, this one... just seems to be a big strong monster with lots of HP.


I throw up a few defensive spells at the beginning but I don't think I really needed them.




Oh sure, I'll just walk right up and knife him. I'm sure things will be exactly that simple.


Because it's not like the Emperor has been one step ahead for the entire damned game or anything.

[R^2]

Paul sneaks up, knocks on the wall, and when the guard comes to look, runs off to hide. When the guard turns back to return to his post, Paul sneaks up behind the guard and KOs him with CQC.


I had completely forgotten this scene happened when I said... that this exact thing would happen. But to be fair, I have played a video game before.




There are random encounters once you escape from prison. This is just downhill from the imperial palace, after all.


Hey, there's Princess Hilda another Queen Lamia!






I know, right? He's actually not a complete deadweight anymore, even in my party!

Firion: Gordon, take the princess and go. We'll draw the guards' attention while you escape.
Gordon: Thank you, Firion. Be careful.


That said, all you do is walk out.

[R^2]

Royal Guard: Altair is now Pirateville, so all of the citizens had to leave. Lubbers stay out! new mgmt


What the guard actually tells you is to go find the war camp just south of Fynn, from which Hilda and Gordon will launch the offensive to retake the castle.


That's no surprise. We have the weapons and armor to fight this battle (thanks to us), the Empire is without their giant unstoppable juggernaut of an airship (thanks to us), and we have our kidnapped Princess back (thanks to us). Stands to reason we're going to be the ones to assassinate their leader.

Which, not to copy the entire game's script, is the thrust of Gordon's plan.


Meanwhile you can ask Hilda about Wild Roses. She assures you she is the real princess, and hey Firion, are you blushing?


The town of Fynn is the same as before, so if I really wanted to go grind for some more Toad tomes I could. But our princess wants us in another castle.


Just inside, Leila returns to fill out our forth party member slot.


It's almost a straight walk upstairs to get to the throne room where the commander sits.




Gottos can cast Berserk on himself, but he still goes down like a chump.

[A²]

To those playing along at home, if it's not obvious: You can access Mysidia from the start of the game. Just sneak your way over there with 5000gp, Swap, and you can have your cheese at the very start of the game.

Generally you wait for Minwu to make it easier, but it's possible to do so at the very very start.