If I test myself I would become a prime target to be assimilated. But now that I've pointed that out, everyone would expect me to be assimilated after testing myself, making me a bad choice for assimilation. But now that I've mentioned that, I might become a good choice again!

On the other hand, if I don't test myself, it might be suspicious. What have I got to hide? I've got to hide my precious human blood from the terrible monster that wishes to sow confusion and hatred among us. If I don't reveal, I am Schroedinger's Player, simultaneously good and evil until killed, at which point my waveform collapses. Nobody likes uncollapsed waveforms.

I will leave it to the person who might choose to assimilate me to figure out whether someone with a big bulls-eye in his beard is worth having on his side. Also, I will probably test myself if a bunch of people look like they're about to totally kill me.

If you are a thing: You won't test yourself no matter what. In light of that, I think you should test yourself.

If you are human: You have a chance of becoming a thing if you test yourself. So what? So does whomever else is tested.

Gaining the test seems like a death sentence. I'd recommend you test a random other player. Roll a die if you have to. I can't say for sure whether or not I'd vote for you to be tested if you don't test yourself, but I'm leaning yes.

*destroys the long wave radio* Even one cell gets out, the whole world is assimilated. Nobody's leaving this place until we're sure.

Now look here; I have diabeetus.