THE OFFICIAL JUDGMENTS OF THE GRAND DUCHY OF KAZZIA
Guild: 8/10
I was giggling the entire time I read this, from when you chose your own clone to be the one to fuck to when you did the deed post-disintegration to the popping dickpimples. Points taken off for complete lack of line breaks and for using *CENSORED* as though anybody here would be offended by the phrase "enormous pulsating fuckmuscle."
Rygaron: 6/10
Most of it reads too sincerely, with yourself acting as the Shinji in this Evangelion of wangs. I laughed at the player one joke and the "BOOOOOOO-YAH." Also at the concept of Brentai wandering around the shower, grabbing everybody's junk. Penalized for no line breaks and because most of the start is really, really, really gay. Like, actually gay; the first half of your story tried to buy me a drink and then called me a silly goose.
Shinra: 8/10
The paragraph of how hairy and smelly you are made me gag a little. Hitchhikers don't go to strip bars because strip bars require money and hitchhikers don't have any. Beer before liquor is a terrible, terrible fucking idea, especially when you apparently worked all day in the sun and sweat your nuts off; this story should have ended much eariler, with you rolling on the floor in a pile of your own vomit, suffering and sobbing. Also, even if you did somehow manage to remain conscious, you shouldn't have been able to get it up, ESPECIALLY not around Doom, jesus christ have you seen that guy. I'm glad you both end up throwing up but I wish that you had talked about forcing him to eat some or something. All in all, a quality exercise, although seriously not something to be read by somebody getting over a stomach flu. (Also, a little legitimate advice: Show, don't tell.)
Frocto: 5/10
A good idea and a valid homage to a man's futile attempt to jump across those stupid disappearing blocks. Would have preferred to hear you attempt to sing it. I enjoy the bit where you go FUCK THIS STUPID SHIT. Not much to say. Sorta unremarkable.
Bear Machine: 2/10
I don't have the patience for this crap.
Doom: 4/10
Artful. Most of the beginning is somewhat rambling. The whole thing sort of fails to make sense... what the hell is your plan? I thought you loved him, why'd you bust into his house and kill and rape and decapitate and continue raping him for? You're clearly an insane person. I don't think I'm going to share my gummi bears with you. In fact... yep. I'm not.