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Discussion Boards => High-Context Discourse => Topic started by: Cyan Prime on March 24, 2009, 06:24:42 PM

Title: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on March 24, 2009, 06:24:42 PM
So the way I see it, if your life is shitty, and you don't see any hope in sight than it's okay to kill yourself. If your friends and family actually cared they would have been there to help you before you did it.

Also I think it's rather selfish to tell someone not to kill themselves without offering a actual solution toe their problem. So many times I've heard things like "It'll get better" and "I'll pray for you" and it's just bullshit. If someone wants you to live so much they should be willing to actually do something for you so your life is worth living.

I actually tried killing myself in February. It didn't go so well, or maybe it did depending on who you ask. But this thread isn't about me, but I know I'm going to get a ton of "You should kill yourself" replies anyway, but really. What is your stand on it? Is it good? Is it bad? Is there a time when your opinion of it changes?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 24, 2009, 06:25:43 PM
whatever sinks your boat
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: sei on March 24, 2009, 06:26:12 PM
Circumstantial.

If one can expect more good than bad, then life seems to be worth living.  The question is a personal one.  Does anything offset enduring the pain/tedium/other-bad that has you considering suicide to begin with.  If not, is there a reasonable chance that something will come along?

If the bad is winning by a slim margin, is anything (potentially) available to mitigate the bad?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 06:36:40 PM
If you are currently at a point in life where you should be contributing to society as a whole or your own personal sphere and are not, and do not see an immediate future where you would be there's really nothing wrong with offing yourself, you're just wasting resources.

Think of Starcraft. Say you ran out of unit space before a big fight and you have two zealots with practically no health, you'd destroy them to free up the units for a unit that would actually be helpful in the time being, right?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on March 24, 2009, 06:38:41 PM
If you're, say, trapped in a Vietnamese prison, or missing all four limbs, or a vegetable, or staring stupidly at a bunch of Reavers off-camera, then yeah, I think it's in the interest of humanity that you put an end to it.

If you have any inkling of an ounce of potential to change your current situation, then running from that is abject cowardice.  From my position I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand, but that doesn't mean it's a forgivable thing.

...I'm going to have to double up my bus quota for next month.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on March 24, 2009, 06:39:56 PM
If you are currently at a point in life where you should be contributing to society as a whole or your own personal sphere and are not, and do not see an immediate future where you would be there's really nothing wrong with offing yourself, you're just wasting resources.

Think of Starcraft. Say you ran out of unit space before a big fight and you have two zealots with practically no health, you'd destroy them to free up the units for a unit that would actually be helpful in the time being, right?

So in this analogy, the injured zealot is the guy making Starcraft analogies?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 06:41:39 PM
If you're, say, trapped in a Vietnamese prison, or missing all four limbs, or a vegetable, or staring stupidly at a bunch of Reavers off-camera, then yeah, I think it's in the interest of humanity that you put an end to it.

If you have any inkling of an ounce of potential to change your current situation, then running from that is abject cowardice.  From my position I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand, but that doesn't mean it's a forgivable thing.

...I'm going to have to double up my bus quota for next month.
When I think of people killing themselves, the first thing I see isn't missed potential, but expressway lanes opening up and supermarket lines shortening.

If you are currently at a point in life where you should be contributing to society as a whole or your own personal sphere and are not, and do not see an immediate future where you would be there's really nothing wrong with offing yourself, you're just wasting resources.

Think of Starcraft. Say you ran out of unit space before a big fight and you have two zealots with practically no health, you'd destroy them to free up the units for a unit that would actually be helpful in the time being, right?

So in this analogy, the injured zealot is the guy making Starcraft analogies?
He knew he may one day give is life for Auir.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 24, 2009, 06:43:13 PM
You know, 97% of humanity is not actively producing resources for the rest of us, and most of that lot aren't bettering humanity in any meaningful way.

Let's not pretend that our continued survival is a concern.

If you don't want to stick around, nobody's going to make you.  At the same time, you're welcome to stay.  As much as any of us, anyway.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on March 24, 2009, 06:47:59 PM
When I think of people killing themselves, the first thing I see isn't missed potential, but expressway lanes opening up and supermarket lines shortening.

See, but he could have been a construction worker.  Or a grocery store manager.  Or built the motherfucking flying car already so we wouldn't have those problems.

...well, he was stupid enough to get himself killed, so probably not, but you get my drift.

But, okay, think of the last guy you probably heard of offing himself ::(: and try to decide whether or not there was any missed potential there.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 06:49:52 PM
Quote from: Rygaron
Rygaron

Anonymous is fucking legion xD
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on March 24, 2009, 06:57:55 PM
Never kill yourself.  Give all your money to a therapist.  They'll help you contribute to society while you give them something to do with their degrees in philosophy.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 07:00:03 PM
To sum up my views on suicide, they seem pretty close to Kazz's: If you kill yourself, there is an about a 2 in 70 000 000 chance that I will care so go for it, I guess?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 24, 2009, 07:00:42 PM
therapist
philosophy
:perfect:

also rygaron don't lump your views in with mine

i let my zealots die in battle like heroes
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lady Duke on March 24, 2009, 07:02:09 PM
I only see suicide as acceptable really when you're just super old and in nothing but pain and your quality of life is just so horrifically terrible nothing you can do will ever make it any better.  

So young people without like, severe terminal diseases that will kill them very soon don't really have a reason to be committing suicide in my books.  That's just...young adulthood for you I guess.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on March 24, 2009, 07:04:21 PM
Well to be fair if I don't know you I'm not going to care if you die, so I guess I agree with Rygaron there.  But if you ask me, I'm going to say what I just did, only probably with more swear words.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 07:06:10 PM
To sum up my views on suicide, they seem pretty close to Kazz's: If you kill yourself, there is an about a 2 in 70 000 000 chance that I will care so go for it, I guess?

soup /b/ post ending in 77 decides what i name my cock xD
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 24, 2009, 07:08:04 PM
someone who's going to kill himself doesn't go to his friends and go "hey dudes, should i kill myself? y/b"

that's what someone who wants attention does

someone who's going to kill himself is too dead to ask anybody anything
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fredward on March 24, 2009, 07:21:45 PM
I'm with Ryg and Kazz. And Noro: if we were Anonymous, we'd be telling OP to kill himself because nobody likes the video games he makes. But we aren't, so we're not.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on March 24, 2009, 07:22:27 PM
Given that there is maybe a 50% chance that CyanPrime is basically asking us to give us reasons for him not to kill himself (in a rather roundabout way), I must say that Ah ah ah! You guys kill me! you guys really inspire faith my fellow man.

If you want to talk about stupid "Darwinist" bullshit, then start talking about it on the grand scale and get with the genocide plans and the doomsday machines. But at the level of the individual, these kinds of selfish little misanthropic displays are out-and-out retarded. I didn't realize I'd been on an Aspergers forum this whole time.

someone who's going to kill himself doesn't go to his friends and go "hey dudes, should i kill myself? y/b"

Actually, they do. Yes. That tends to be the 'cry for help'-type of attention whore suicide, but dead is still dead, last time I checked. Plenty of "Oh I didn't really mean to kill myself suicides end in "Oh shit!" REAL DEATH.

----

I'm more interested in Cyan's actual circumstances. Speaking as someone who daily confronts the question "What do you do if you really are a loser without hope but do not wish to kill yourself?", I'd like to know what you consider to be failure and/or non-contribution?

Because the way I look at it, either your proximity to the problem blinds you to a simple solution OR you do have a serious problem which you can perhaps be helped with.

Do you have full or partial acute depressive episodes where people can't communicate with you and you can't do anything? Or is it more of a general malaise, combined with failure and/or lack of hope in whatever goals you may have set for yourself?

I mean, it's more than me just trying to play "retard on the internet wants to HELP you". Suicide is a personal thing, and you can't put these kinds of questions into perspective without the relevant information.

----

As for my general thoughts on suicide, I always looked at it like this ('you' and 'your' being used in a purely general sense below):

If I ever found myself in a position where I just couldn't take it any more, I would instead resolve to be a homeless deranged derelict. You effectively drop out of society, you can say and do just about anything you want, you're no burden on family or friends if you just disappear, and substance abuse becomes a happily accepted way of dealing with your issues.

The lifestyle will probably kill you quickly enough and if by any chance, you're not dead after a while and you feel like you made a mistake, like you feel like "coming back to life", the option is a whole lot more feasible than if you really kill yourself. Yes, you may have health issues, and will have lost years off your life, but hey, considering death was the alternative and you just decided to live, you're already up by more than you could ever normally hope to be in that circumstance.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 07:22:36 PM
To sum up my views on suicide, they seem pretty close to Kazz's: If you kill yourself, there is an about a 2 in 70 000 000 chance that I will care so go for it, I guess?

soup /b/ post ending in 77 decides what i name my cock xD
Tiffany.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on March 24, 2009, 07:24:49 PM
someone who's going to kill himself is too dead to ask anybody anything
Why would someone kill themselves twice?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 07:25:49 PM
I'm aware nobody's specifically telling Cyan to kill himself over his java games, but i don't care. I'm really tired of people on the internet taking such a disaffectly cool and casual view towards the value of human life. People killing themselves as a result of depression, loneliness, losing a job (???) or anything else barring chronic illness or pain... saying that you're happy because it would reduce supermarket queues? Fuck you. Go to jail.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fredward on March 24, 2009, 07:27:21 PM
Would it make you feel better if I told you I take the same view in real life?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on March 24, 2009, 07:27:47 PM
I think it was Lewis Black who said, "If things are that bad, don't kill yourself, you idiot.  Kill other people."

ADDENDUM: Now that I really put my brain to remembering it I think it was actually Rev. Ivan Stang.  And if you recognize that name without looking it up then you'll be forgiven if you shoot yourself as a reflex reaction.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 07:28:52 PM
Would it make you feel better if I told you I take the same view in real life?

No.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 07:30:43 PM
I'm aware nobody's specifically telling Cyan to kill himself over his java games, but i don't care. I'm really tired of people on the internet taking such a disaffectly cool and casual view towards the value of human life. People killing themselves as a result of depression, loneliness, losing a job (???) or anything else barring chronic illness or pain... saying that you're happy because it would reduce supermarket queues? Fuck you. Go to jail.
What gives the life of someone who's lost all emotional and / or mental hope any more important than someone who's lost physical hope? Saying "these people can kills themselves" and "these people can't kill themselves" is horribly stupid, but generally you are too so I wont spend much time on that one.

I don't think people should kill themselves, but no more than I think the same people should stay alive. Just as I plan on not doing it, I'm not going to make your choice for you either way.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on March 24, 2009, 07:31:21 PM
I'm aware nobody's specifically telling Cyan to kill himself over his java games, but i don't care. I'm really tired of people on the internet taking such a disaffectly cool and casual view towards the value of human life. People killing themselves as a result of depression, loneliness, losing a job (???) or anything else barring chronic illness or pain... saying that you're happy because it would reduce supermarket queues? Fuck you. Go to jail.

Finally.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: patito on March 24, 2009, 07:35:06 PM
Personally I lose all respect for people who kill themselves. Look, whatever your circumstances may be what's the point in killing yourself. Look, if you kill yourself there's always the uncertainty of what comes next, if anything comes next at all. So just hang in there for a while longer, say, another 50, 80 more years if you're lucky, you're gonna die eventually anyway, why rush it.

Besides, whatever it is you're so concerned about, I guarantee that's there at least one more person who's having a rougher time and isn't even considering suicide at all.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on March 24, 2009, 07:37:11 PM
I'm more interested in Cyan's actual circumstances. Speaking as someone who daily confronts the question "What do you do if you really are a loser without hope but do not wish to kill yourself?", I'd like to know what you consider to be failure and/or non-contribution?

...

Do you have full or partial acute depressive episodes where people can't communicate with you and you can't do anything? Or is it more of a general malaise, combined with failure and/or lack of hope in whatever goals you may have set for yourself?
Well, I started this thread with only general views in mind, but I suppose I could tell a little of my current story. I've been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolor, Asburgers, and am "mentally deranged." I'm currently on zoloft and abilify. I thought it was helping, but I've been really depressed/upset for about four days strate. It seems like a lot of it is sexual. Or lack of, since I feel like a failure for not getting laid yet. I suppose I could go out and get a girl, but that feels like too much work. my depression makes me a very lazy bastard. I'm barely able to work on Worst Platformer Ever.

infact, I only coded about two lines today. Also I guess I'm a little down that I have to code yet another game as a nobody. But it's mainly lack of pussy. Yes, it is as dumb as it sounds. No me knowing that doesn't help. Okay, I'll be honest, there is other shit. the sex stuff is only like 30%. I'm not going to talk about the rest in a public forum though.

As for my medical. I'm on GAU right now and which is free PHYSICAL health. They won't let me on the free MENTAL health plan until I get a shrink to tell them to. No shrinks will see me without MENTAL medical.  :facepalm:

Warning - while you were typing 5 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post. God damn!

Edit: another factor is that my pills and depression have made me gain like 10lbs in a month. If this keeps up I'll be 300lbs by dec. I didn't bother with the math, actually. Anyway, I know I can maybe fix that, but I can't till the 6th when I get more foodstamps and can buy healthy food.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: patito on March 24, 2009, 07:39:55 PM
So basically, don't kill yourself, keep making shitty games, you're bound to improve eventually. Hell, you wrote two lines of code, that's more productive than anything I've done today.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 07:45:32 PM
Personally I lose all respect for people who kill themselves.

Why? WHY THE HELL? Do you think that giving up on life is a function of cussedness? They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps more? People are different, one unto another! Depression and alienation don't follow clean lines of logical progression and people who are depressed don't respond to encouragements to cheer up. The problem is not merely internal, but integral to the shape of one's life.

You can't callously say that they should just tough it out; as much as it's a good ideal to say that people should be able to block out the world, ignore their failings (real or imagined, not that there is a quantifiable difference and live on in spite of everything, there's no reason to think that everyone actually can.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on March 24, 2009, 07:46:52 PM
I just saw this now.  

Alright, I'm going to open up.  

This has been a tough year for me, where a lot has gone wrong - a lot does go wrong for myself.  I've been suicidally depressed at the start of this year, so I'm in your boat.  There were a couple times I had the knife pretty close to the chest, or I found myself floating away from shore in the ocean before swimming back.  I even hit the bottle hard for two days.  

On the third day, I knew what was going on and I sought help hard.  Where I'm from, the "s-word" seems to get people to push the right way.  Oddly enough, despite my athiesm, a priest helped me on the right foot towards social services, which since then for the past three weeks, I've been in constant contact with a social worker and a psychiatrist in one form or another.  

If you're suicidal for any reason Sora, seek help.  We are not professionals here and we will not be able to help you.  This is where people in the community can.  Good places to start are always the church, community centre, Human Resources of where you may work, or school that you attend.  the local suicide hotline is also worth investing time into, even if you don't feel bad.  Just be honest about why you call - I've had these thoughts sometime ago and I need help, but do not know where to turn often works.  

You need to make the first step.  

Think about it, and ways around the queue.  You can be clever.




Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 07:48:08 PM
What gives the life of someone who's lost all emotional and / or mental hope any more important than someone who's lost physical hope? Saying "these people can kills themselves" and "these people can't kill themselves" is horribly stupid, but generally you are too so I wont spend much time on that one.

I'm not saying some people should kill themselves and others shouldn't. I'm saying that living in agony is horrific and that for those in the position to make that kind of choice, i won't place any kind of judgment on their actions, wrong or right.

If someone kills themselves because other people ignored their cries for help or didn't care, that's another matter.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 07:53:39 PM
People killing themselves as a result of depression, loneliness, losing a job (???) or anything else barring chronic illness or pain...
Why? WHY THE HELL? Do you think that giving up on life is a function of cussedness? They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps more? People are different, one unto another! Depression and alienation don't follow clean lines of logical progression and people who are depressed don't respond to encouragements to cheer up. The problem is not merely internal, but integral to the shape of one's life.

You can't callously say that they should just tough it out; as much as it's a good ideal to say that people should be able to block out the world, ignore their failings (real or imagined, not that there is a quantifiable difference and live on in spite of everything, there's no reason to think that everyone actually can.
I'm not saying some people should kill themselves and others shouldn't. I'm saying that living in agony is horrific and that for those in the position to make that kind of choice, i won't place any kind of judgment on their actions, wrong or right.

If someone kills themselves because other people ignored their cries for help or didn't care, that's another matter.
You're making this shit up on every post aren't you?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on March 24, 2009, 07:56:04 PM
It seems like you do have some legitimately severe brain chemistry issues. The first thing I'll say is that that will definitely affect your ability to make objective decisions about your situation, so I wouldn't go off all half-cocked. The fact that you've already accepted this and are already on medication is a good start. Yes, brain chemistry treatment is still in the "sawing limbs off with rusty iron bits" stage of evolution, but it's a lot better than nothing.

A point regarding sex: Realistically, sex isn't going to come without more confidence and more activity, which you probably already know. It's probably impossible, but the best thing you can do is forget it. Sex is one of those things that is harder to get the harder you try. Maddening, I know, but there you have it.

While lack of sex may not technically be an excuse for suicide, loneliness often makes a bad situation worse. Of course, I have no way of knowing how much one affects the other in your case. Also, we should never underestimate the profound impact our base drive to reproduce has on our brains. That pressure can be a killer. I'm not sure how much can be gained by meeting more folks and seeing your base instincts for what they are, but hey, whatever helps, helps. If not, well, you're no worse off than you were before.

The BEST advice and most practical advice I can give you is to try and find a way to break the catch-22 over your medical treatment. If that means begging borrowing or stealing money to go see a practitioner to get certified for mental coverage, then so be it. I've seen way more than I ever wanted to see of the US medical system. Sometimes those loopholes just fuck people right over and the only way out is to fight your way through the system - sometimes that means spending a hundred, or a thousand, to save the tens of thousands you don't have. This is going to make more of a real, practical difference to you than anything we can fucking babble on about here. 

Warning - while you were typing 4 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

And what SCD said. You've already gone partway on this, so explaining your current state may jumpstart some folks into helping you break your deadlock.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: patito on March 24, 2009, 07:57:06 PM
Mmm, yeah, I suppose if a person is really really depressed he won't listen to reason, but really, so some guy somewhere lost my respect, the respect of some guy who really doesn't matter at all, but in the end why would he care about this if he's dead, would he even care if I had told him I wouldn't respect him if he killed himself?  I didn't say I lose respect for people who attempted suicide unsuccessfully. In my own mind, it is much better to receive some sort of feedback, positive or negative, rather than not getting any at all, which would sort of be achieved by dying.

But like you said, in case of chronic illness or pain there might be a point to it, I suppose.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 24, 2009, 08:00:21 PM
Let's all act hard and cool about suicide on the internet.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on March 24, 2009, 08:03:30 PM
And then add comma splice up the arse, to boot!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on March 24, 2009, 08:06:36 PM
(http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b149/Rygaron/Vashdisapproves.jpg): "Suicide? I disapprove of suicide more than anything."
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Ocksi on March 24, 2009, 08:48:37 PM
I recommend endorphins to anyone in your shoes.  The motivation to get out and run or bike or generally just break a sweat is hard to come by when you're pretty depressed, but if you can lug yourself outside and just work out, preferably in the sun, you'll feel a lot better.  Especially if you do it with a goal in mind.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on March 24, 2009, 09:05:45 PM
 (http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu23/Bon_Bon_2009/scruffy-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on March 24, 2009, 09:43:56 PM
My favorite author suggested that the question of suicide is the first serious hurdle for a developing intellect to overcome.

This thread has a lot of merit, so far, even among the posts which seem mutually exclusive.  Two opposing ideas can still both be right.

Iron Mongrel's right about the sex issue: the more it bothers you that you aren't having it, the harder it is to get.  Once you stop caring, it'll happen when you least expect it to.  The problem with knowing that is that it's easy to convince yourself that you "don't really care" when actually, you do.  About the only thing you can do is throw yourself bodily into other activities and interests.

Whatever you do, don't stop making games.  People will criticize them, often unfairly, but don't let any of that stop you.  If you spend 10000 hours making games, you will be a master, and you will make something people enjoy.  It's easy to let yourself stop; you shouldn't.  I'm pretty fucking envious of the fact that you and the other guys around here are able to.

Also, keep posting.  I wish Dogstar would post here more often, which is proof that just because you take a lot of crap from people around here doesn't mean your presence isn't enjoyed.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fortinbras on March 24, 2009, 10:17:06 PM
Weirdly well timed thread.  A good friend and roommate of mine has been quietly talking about suicide recently.

I recommend endorphins to anyone in your shoes.  The motivation to get out and run or bike or generally just break a sweat is hard to come by when you're pretty depressed, but if you can lug yourself outside and just work out, preferably in the sun, you'll feel a lot better.  Especially if you do it with a goal in mind.
(http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu23/Bon_Bon_2009/scruffy-1.jpg) also.

I'll always try to talk someone out of killing themselves if they're thinking about it but if someone's successful they'll have nothing but sympathy and understanding from me.  It can be a real bummer to be a human being, especially if you're one with mixed up brain chemicals.

The usual argument from me aside from insisting on my high degree of give-a-shit and convincing people as best I can that they've got a fan in me is that all the best stuff is in the future.  Great people and TV and movies and books and games are on the way and it's all going to be even better than everything you've seen so far.  The hope and love that's missing?  The future is where they're hiding it.  Stay alive and let's go together and it will hurt like hell but it'll be fucking amazing.

Which isn't what someone whose neurochemistry is fucked up needs, IM and SCD are exactly and inarguably on the ball about real and practical improvements coming from actual good medical help, but then no matter why someone's that far down down I figure, I hope at least, that sympathy and positive attention will be worth something.  Way too often mental healthcare in a given area might as well not even exist, and then all you can do is feebly distract people from their misery until a real solution presents itself.

There's a bit of weight to the suicide-as-deplorable argument, but usually not much and any serious neurological disorder obviates all guilt as far as I'm concerned.  The trouble is nothing to do with the act itself but it's really tough on the people who get left behind.  Moving on after something like that is a responsibility the living didn't ask for and usually don't know how to shoulder.  When someone leaves dependents behind it's even harder to stomach.  Still it's impossible to put together much anger for someone who was so beaten down by being that like Vonnegut said of Camus, the only question they had was "why not kill yourself?" and they had no answer.

re: fighting: I am firmly in the Norondor corner with nothing substantial to add.  Nor, you are arguing humanely and passionately with an internet tough guy and even though it's a fool's errand I'm totally cheering you on.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on March 24, 2009, 10:23:57 PM
I don't really think of Ryg as an internet tough guy. I actually really like him and think he's a funny and interesting fellow who is a credit to this community. But my highest loyalty isn't to anyone in this world.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on March 24, 2009, 10:48:40 PM
My pastor always says, "Growing old is not for wussies."
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on March 24, 2009, 10:51:54 PM
Which isn't what someone whose neurochemistry is fucked up needs, IM and SCD are exactly and inarguably on the ball about real and practical improvements coming from actual good medical help, but then no matter why someone's that far down down I figure, I hope at least, that sympathy and positive attention will be worth something.  Way too often mental healthcare in a given area might as well not even exist, and then all you can do is feebly distract people from their misery until a real solution presents itself.

Distractions that work for me:

Volunteering.  I do a rescue ranch whenever I'm in town.  i suggest you look for the same or hit the SPCA.  Animals make people feel good about themselves, plus you meet non-assholes this way. 

Strongly worth looking into also.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: JDigital on March 25, 2009, 12:05:16 AM
I'd like to go back to something Brentai said on page 1:

If you're, say, trapped in a Vietnamese prison, or missing all four limbs, or a vegetable, or staring stupidly at a bunch of Reavers off-camera, then yeah, I think it's in the interest of humanity that you put an end to it.

How's someone going to off himself with no arms or legs? Roll like a sausage to the ocean? Headbutt a glass onto the floor and hope it breaks the right way to fall on it?

More serious: Suicide is dumb. If you don't agree, then either you're dumb too because I'm right, or you're smart and I'm wrong. If you're smarter than me, and I'm not exactly a village idiot, you've certainly got something to live for.

Go for a walk or something and look at some green stuff.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: sei on March 25, 2009, 02:00:51 AM
Bite off your own tongue?  Does that even work?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on March 25, 2009, 02:03:35 AM
No, but if you're flexible enough you could bite off your own dick. You'd bleed enough to die from that. Then again, most people who can do that have to use their arms/legs as leverage.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 25, 2009, 04:19:05 AM
Hey!  Who Left This Chainsaw Running Next To My Bed?

(thanks, grandma)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Büge on March 25, 2009, 07:02:23 AM
To: Cruel World
Re: Goodbye

You know, I've thought about suicide before. I came to realize that if you're going to give up your life, you might as well let somebody else make use of it. I don't mean put a post on craigslist advertising your willingness to explode in a subway station, but at least sign out a donor card or sell yourself to Gunther von Hagens or something.

Sometimes I think of ways to kill myself in unusual circumstances, like being naked in a 5x5 cell with only one hour before interrogation. Can you imagine the looks on the guards' faces if they came into your cell and saw you dead, with your fist down your throat?

...or chunk of your penis.

Suicide has affected me in the past. My current landlord attempted suicide after finding out that his friend, whom rumour has it he has a gay attraction to, would not be moving into the house. That led to my landlord not moving in, which meant this other guy moved in with all of his own stuff, and he put all of the stuff that was upstairs into the basement, which was where my landlord said would be a living space for me, leaving me no space to live aside from my bedroom and a hallway.
 :tldr: , I'm moving out

My best friend had suicidal issues as a kid and teenager but he's married and actually does stuff now. He just got back from Essex in Britain, getting his Master's Degree in something or other. Now he lives in Toronto, selling the internet to russian people.

And look Sora, there's probably a buddhist or taoist saying about experiencing the worst feelings ever will allow you context in experiencing the best.
...or words to that effect.

(http://www.furallover.com/%5Cphoto%5Cclothesline.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Pacobird on March 25, 2009, 07:04:13 AM
Christianity considers suicide the moral equivalent of murder.  The reasoning for this is actually pretty sound; in both cases, the real victims are the people left behind.  What does the dead guy care about being dead?

So I guess if there's nobody who'd care about you being gone, it'd be okay to kill yourself.  But if there's nobody who cares about you being gone, you might want to take a good, hard look at that before doing anything rash.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: François on March 25, 2009, 02:39:10 PM
I've thought about suicide when I was younger, I've had some genuine shit times. But now, thinking back on it, that would have been a retarded thing to do, even though the shit times aren't completely over.

I mean, I can listen to music I like, or read a good book, or wake up with sun rays warming a square foot of bedsheet on top of me, and I still think without an ounce of sarcasm: "I got beat up and spit on for a decade, I have a mysterious ailment, my family is fucked up, and I think I'm beginning to lose my hair, but I'll be damned if this isn't completely worth all of it." Talking a walk under the stars on a hot, breezy summer night sure beats the hell out of being worm food. I might meet a nice girl one day, or maybe I won't, but if one thing's certain it's that no lady I'd want to date would kiss a dead guy.

Life is a lottery from beginning to end, and everyone gets their ticket for free. The least you can do is hold on to it until all the numbers are up. If you think things are never going to get better, you're probably wrong. Can you really see the future?

And what the hell man, be considerate for the pallbearers. A suicided young man is way the fuck heavier than you'd think. It's not just a burden for the flesh.

That's one thing I wish I never had the opportunity to learn.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on April 04, 2009, 09:46:19 AM
Relevent. (http://horribleville.com/d/20070527.html)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on April 04, 2009, 10:47:41 PM
Though I'm not keen on any of you dying, I feel obligated to make an idiot's comment.

Am I the only one that thinks "Suicide Club" sounds more like a tool for suicide than a group with which you can talk about suicide?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Dooly on April 04, 2009, 11:20:26 PM
You mean like in Team America when Spottswoode handed Gary a hammer to use if he was captured and needed to kill himself?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on April 04, 2009, 11:35:05 PM
:nyoro~n: I knew there was a day when never seeing Team America was going to club me in the skull. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on April 05, 2009, 04:13:51 AM
Though I'm not keen on any of you dying, I feel obligated to make an idiot's comment.

Am I the only one that thinks "Suicide Club" sounds more like a tool for suicide than a group with which you can talk about suicide?

I've read too much about Japan to think of it as anything but Arc's intended descriptor.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on April 22, 2009, 12:25:26 PM
So a fight about snapple has escalated into a knife threatening argument. My sister brought a knife out after I tried to drink one of "Her" snapples (That I paid for) and threatened me with it. I decided to show her that I wasn't scared of her knife by running it up and down my arm. (lots of minor cuts). When I removed her from my room she kicked me, so I decided to punch her ten commandments thing on the other side of the wall (cause if I hit her I'd go to jail cause she has tits and I don't...Well I do, but not the good kind). More minor cuts, but I think I put a good dent in it. Anyway, I am now barricaded in my room witting this, with thoughts of talking shit and not ever following through because I am a faggot. :nyoro~n:.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on April 22, 2009, 12:27:38 PM
I sure wish I knew if you were telling the truth or not.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on April 22, 2009, 12:28:44 PM
I don't.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on April 22, 2009, 12:29:33 PM
I sure wish I knew if you were telling the truth or not.
Yes, I am not trolling, thought it REALLY sounds like I am. Also I called the crisis triodge before posting, and they were the ones who got my sister to exit my room, and told me to barricade myself in here.

Edit: Should I double/tripple does on my happy pills so I don't feel like killing myself as much?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on April 22, 2009, 12:32:52 PM
You really need to find a better place to air out your troubles.

No matter what you're looking for, I'm fairly doubtful you'll get it here.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on April 22, 2009, 12:35:10 PM
You really need to find a better place to air out your troubles.

No matter what you're looking for, I'm fairly doubtful you'll get it here.
Really I'm just putting this story in a nice safe place on the internet where I know people wouldn't "do the right thing" and call the cops. I just don't like/trust cops one bit, but maybe that's cause I look at reddit too much.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Arc on April 22, 2009, 12:36:27 PM
Cool story, bro.

The much anticipated I Love Horses came out for DS yesterday!

(http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/driftycity/958916_122558_front.jpg)

Pawn off your Sister's 'ten commandments thing' and get with us on the equestrian adventure of a lifetime!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on April 22, 2009, 12:46:41 PM
(http://doom.pyoko.org/Blog/BlogEvenHell.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on April 22, 2009, 12:49:35 PM
My god, dude, what kind of living situation are you in
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on April 22, 2009, 12:51:50 PM
Killing yourself is like rage-quitting except you don't get over it and resume enjoying life after a good nap.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on April 22, 2009, 12:58:39 PM
Unless you're Ben Franklin.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on April 22, 2009, 03:01:18 PM
The things that happen while I'm at work.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on April 22, 2009, 03:04:41 PM
The things that happen while I'm at work.

This is all your fault Det! If you hadn't gone to work, Ben Franklin would still be alive!  :khaaan:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: JDigital on April 22, 2009, 05:55:00 PM
My sister brought a knife out after I tried to drink one of "Her" snapples (That I paid for) and threatened me with it. I decided to show her that I wasn't scared of her knife by running it up and down my arm. (lots of minor cuts). When I removed her from my room she kicked me, so I decided to punch her ten commandments thing on the other side of the wall

Your family seems to have horrible conflict resolution skills. Still, not as bad as this lady (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article4804007.ece).
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on April 22, 2009, 06:08:04 PM
Unless you're Ben Franklin.

 :OoO: Wat?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on April 22, 2009, 06:19:08 PM
Dr. McNinja.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on April 22, 2009, 06:26:59 PM
Er, I was thinking more along the lines of his "we shall feel refreshed in the morning" quote.  Which, admittedly, was in Dr. McNinja.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Sharkey on April 23, 2009, 09:48:30 PM
Does this mean we don't have to ban him anymore?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on April 23, 2009, 09:56:08 PM
I thought you were in charge.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on April 23, 2009, 09:57:11 PM
:nyoro~n: I thought he was banned.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on April 23, 2009, 10:01:00 PM
The administration doesn't believe in banning people.

The administration just yells at them over and over and over again, until they leave, or one or both of us are dead.

Love,

The Administration
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Büge on April 24, 2009, 05:46:25 AM
...




...


Brought to you by....?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on April 24, 2009, 06:45:48 AM
THE ADMINISTRATION OMITS NOTHING
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on April 24, 2009, 07:29:54 AM
THE ADMINISTRATION seems thirsty.  Perhaps THE ADMINISTRATION would like to relax, sit by the pool a little and enjoy some Moxie™ Calm™, the newest addition to the Moxie™ family.

Moxie™ Calm™ is a natural drank, made from organic minerals and roots to help relax you and make you calmer.  Moxie™ Calm™ also has that fantastic Moxie™ taste that never quits.  And if the organic supplements don't calm you down, the 1000mg of elephant sedatives should do the trick.


So when you're looking to kick back and relax for a few days, try Moxie™ Calm™.  THE ADMINISTRATION works hard, but they get to relax hard, too.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on April 24, 2009, 08:10:42 AM
Moxie™ Calm™!

It's the buuuuhhhhhhhh...
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on April 24, 2009, 11:49:29 AM
Make it a Moxie™ Calm™ lite™!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 08:54:18 PM
Whats the best way to kill myself? I know pills, and cutting don't work. Should I just throw myself in front of a car? Than I could take out some jackass in a manslughter charge too. Can't spell manslughter without lafter...Well, I bet you couldn't if you spelt it right.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: James Edward Smith on July 02, 2009, 09:03:23 PM
What a thoroughly unmacho post!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on July 02, 2009, 09:04:26 PM
Well, Cyan', if coquagline existed, I'd recommend getting ahold some of that. But don't bother, because it doesn't exist.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 02, 2009, 09:04:36 PM
Than I could take out some jackass in a manslughter charge too

At least you're thorough about being a completely worthless sack of shit.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:08:27 PM
Well, Cyan', if coquagline existed, I'd recommend getting ahold some of that. But don't bother, because it doesn't exist.
Fuck.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on July 02, 2009, 09:09:21 PM
If you're killing yourself, it is because you have come to terms with no one caring. Therefore, throwing yourself in front of a car, bus or train is giving them some kind of punishment that they won't acknowledge or care about; your death isn't gonna show them. So don't do that; have the decency to do it in private. Don't jump off a bridge or anything else. It isn't a show. It's quiet. Be respectful.

But also don't do it at all. One of you guys is gonna call the police or his mom or something, right?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:09:49 PM
What a thoroughly unmacho post!
Little Mac is stealing all my fame and girls. I'll never get it back, it's bogus, dude. :gameover:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:11:00 PM
One of you guys is gonna call the police or his mom or something, right?
Hey, fuck you newbie. I post here because people won't do that.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on July 02, 2009, 09:11:22 PM
Newbie's over there dude.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:12:22 PM
Newbie's over there dude.
bogus.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:13:23 PM
Than I could take out some jackass in a manslughter charge too

At least you're thorough about being a completely worthless sack of shit.
:kefka:

In all honesty though I find it funny that none of my friends are in contact with me, so I have to post shit here.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:16:44 PM
This topic needs to be renamed "Emo and angst club" since no one has killed themselves yet.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 02, 2009, 09:28:07 PM
I need to get out of my sisters house.  ::(:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 02, 2009, 09:35:22 PM
Yeah I think that'd be better for everybody.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on July 02, 2009, 09:41:59 PM
Suicide is a bad choice. Depression has clinical, not-your-fault causes. Lack of interest, thoughts of suicide, lack of personal hygiene... these are symptomatic of depression, which is a chemical imbalance usually caused by various influences not the least of which are (typically) mental instabilities.

If you want my honest advice, and tl;dr the entire thread, you should get some kind of help that works for you. I'm certainly available. Talk to someone about your problems. Sometimes just having someone try to comprehend the problems we're facing goes far to eliminate the mental side of depression, which can often be the entire problem in itself, with the rest of the symptoms stemming from that original lack of empathy.

Personally, my discretion bears some burden on your part: Don't do anything rash before we've had a bit more of a chance to hash out your problems, please. Foisting that guilt on me would be unfair in the extreme, as I am a very emotional person and would take it very hard.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on July 03, 2009, 04:37:09 AM
Please don't kill yourself.

Jesus, I was wondering why this thread was getting so many posts.

Cyan, do you have any instant messenger programs? I'd like to discuss your situation with you, if possible. You've got an e-mail in your profile, but something else would be good.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on July 03, 2009, 04:57:51 AM
I suggest death of character. 

Get up at five, walk three kilometres daily, then move it to a jogging, then a running level over time.  Bring an ipod and listen to fast aggressive music or lincoln park, if you have a penchant for the awful.  If you prefer the latter, I strongly suggest Hybrid Theroy, as its paceing is just right for what you want to do. 

Buy a couple dumb-bells and do various exercises as much as possible every second day until your muscles barely respond.  Do five pushups or sit ups on every minute while you watch television.  Bonus points if you can find a sports store than does trade-ins, as you might have to get heavier ones over time.

Chances are your body will become overwhelmed to this sudden change that your self as you know it will be dead within two months.  No sweat.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 05:06:37 AM
I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.

Attention grab? Maybe, maybe not. But the main thing is that either way he's not going to get the help he needs from this board. We are not psychologists, psychiatrists, or doctors. Few enough of us are stable or without issues of our own. And I'll be damned if any of us manages to exercise any kind of proper objectivity.

Posting here is not a placebo for better help. Hell, it's probably one-step removed from self-treatment.   
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: JDigital on July 03, 2009, 06:44:01 AM
I think the canonical response is to suggest he fall on a chainsaw.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 09:02:45 AM
If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 03, 2009, 09:04:26 AM
AIM: Soracross
AIM: TurquoisePrime
MSN: soracross99@yahoo.com

AIM is best as MSN gives me problems on Pidgin.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on July 03, 2009, 09:22:04 AM
I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.  
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on July 03, 2009, 09:22:29 AM
If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.

This may or may not be the worst advice ever.  I never understood depression until my stint in the army.  I'm cool now, but I've been out for several years.  Some people do flourish in the military, but turbo nerds typically do not.

Still, play your cards right, and you could get some good times out of it.  These days, you'll probably end up in Afghanistan, though.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 03, 2009, 09:25:05 AM
I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.  
Well, how would I bring it up if I were dead?  :nyoro~n:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on July 03, 2009, 09:26:53 AM
Exactly
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 09:46:39 AM
If your life sucks and you want somebody else to forcefully improve it, join the armed forces.

This may or may not be the worst advice ever.  I never understood depression until my stint in the army.  I'm cool now, but I've been out for several years.  Some people do flourish in the military, but turbo nerds typically do not.

Still, play your cards right, and you could get some good times out of it.  These days, you'll probably end up in Afghanistan, though.

If you were gonna commit suicide, I think coming back with some scars, stories and sex appeal on top of whatever benefits you can milk out of it with a bit of careful research is a pretty win-win scenario. And by God, maybe some maturity and perspective. The boy's not happy right now, that's for sure, and I bet his sister won't comp him the therapy he can't afford because he doesn't have a job and she'll stab him over stolen yoohoos, I guess.

I'd say your points are valid to any other lost youth, but this is Sora. There aren't enough feet in steel-toed boots in the world to kick the stupid out of his ass and every moment he waits is wasted kicking time.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 09:56:54 AM
I forget... has Doom been in the military?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 09:58:37 AM
They've stormed my fortress a few times.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on July 03, 2009, 10:00:41 AM
I don't know what that means
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 10:00:58 AM
They've stormed my fortress a few times.

Working at one of those clubs with neon lights and cool firepoles near a barracks, does not count as "having served".





What do you charge for Happy Endings?

 :suave:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on July 03, 2009, 10:02:40 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 10:05:48 AM
$27.50.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on July 03, 2009, 10:13:32 AM
This is usually my default suggestion.  Nothing teaches people to man up like active service. 

However, I believe Sora/Cyan/blargstein has already thrown back his excuses. 
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 10:15:49 AM
Well yeah, as I recall he is "too busy" to get a real job and even begin to understand a single bit of responsibility, I'd hate to see how sad he becomes when his sister kicks him out.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on July 03, 2009, 10:39:39 AM
Never mind, there's nothing the military could do that wouldn't be an improvement in this case.

edit:
JOIN THE MILITARY
 :advice:
GET BLOWN UP OR WHATEVER
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 11:29:54 AM
I always wonder what a professional military thinks of being considered the dumping ground for its nation's social failures.

'Better people, better product' is no less true when it comes to blowing up shit and killing folks. Just ask the Israeli Air Force.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on July 03, 2009, 11:39:58 AM
1)  In wartime, every body is essential
2)  No one should ever discount themselves before signing up.  That's what the checks and balances are for!
3)  That incompetence is created by enviroment on personality, as opposed to personality alone. 

Besides, worst come worst, there's always a lot of potatoes that need to be peeled for the troops.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 11:48:26 AM
We have a Remedies! thread for random questions and random answers, maybe we could use a "School of Hard Knocks" thread to teach people stuff from a source more desirable than over-expectant parents.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on July 03, 2009, 12:07:35 PM
I don't mean to trivialize the situation, but this is the fourth or fifth time Cyan's brought this up.

Attention grab? Maybe, maybe not. But the main thing is that either way he's not going to get the help he needs from this board.

You are claiming to know what he doesn't need in the same breath as telling us that we don't know what he needs.

Just thought I'd point that out.

Maybe he just needs to feel heard.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 12:27:58 PM
He has been repeating himself at semi-regular intervals for months now.

Sure, maybe we're having some effect, but this is not an indication that we are doing him a world of good.

Even if we assume that we're doing some good, our rate of effectiveness can be effectively measured on a 'per year' basis. I'm pretty sure there are better sources of help.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on July 03, 2009, 12:29:54 PM
I can back you up on that regard, and Doom seems to shout out the same deal. 
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on July 03, 2009, 12:42:38 PM
I'm not saying you're wrong about him probably needing professional help. He said he's taking anti depressants, which implies at least some effort toward professional help, however marginal. What I'm saying is, who cares how much complaining about his life he does in a thread he made to complain about his life in? At the very least it's interesting to read. At the very least it's easily ignored.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 12:46:53 PM
I'm not saying you're wrong about him probably needing professional help. He said he's taking anti depressants, which implies at least some effort toward professional help, however marginal. What I'm saying is, who cares how much complaining about his life he does in a thread he made to complain about his life in? At the very least it's interesting to read. At the very least it's easily ignored.

That's fair. I just read your post as justifying his not taking more serious steps to resolve his issues. Because yeah, we can all agree he needs help.



Anyway, right before you guys replied, I typed all this bullshit up. And I'll be damned if I let my bitter stories go to waste in a thread about bitching!

Quote from: Mongrel
You know what? Story time.

Back in university I was peripherally associated with a game club. Being a horrible nerd myself, I hung around with them for something to do often enough, but was never really part of their circle. It was a very large and strong community, with a long history at that school and in that town and many former students still lived in town and participated in the community, in spite of having graduated. Now, some of the folks in it really did qualify as the worst stereotypes of nerd kind. You name it, it was there. But not all of them were like this. 

Anyway, I once made a few comments to one of the prominent regulars about the nature of the club. Her response was that the club was an important and positive thing. It gave folks who were otherwise unaccepted and friendless a place to get together and have some fun, without predjudice, ridicule, or shame.

I accepted this explanation at first, but as I spent more time there, I noticed that the club was in fact a horrible place. The members were spiteful to one another, they would carry grudges outside games for things that had happened in-game. They manipulated, used, and abused one another. They were petty spiteful, immature, emotionally-stunted people (or became that way). They grew more and more distant and detached from the everyday world, their social failures slowly being magnified over time, as if they were trapped in some kind of terrible anti-social echo chamber. It was both depressing and terrifying to see good kids who came to that school mostly okay, leaving as terrible maladjusted creatures. Their mental decline was often mirrored by a physical decline, as many of them gained weight and grew slovenly in their personal habits.

Eventually, the sheer awfulness of the personalities involved overcame my boredom such that I drifted away from them entirely, only occasionally hearing horrible things in passing.

Sure, whatever, I'm horribly biased. Arrogant even. A narcissist, a fool, or whatever else besides. But I do not believe in the 'supportive like-minded subcommunity'. I think that's a poisonus and dangerous illusion. It balkanizes communication, justifies misbehaviour, and reduces us to primitive tribesmen.

So yeah  :tldr:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fortinbras on July 03, 2009, 12:50:23 PM
How does a depressedy-assed kid get too busy to have a job?  How do you be busy without work?

You know all the stuff by now.  Physical exercise, change where you're at in the world, Get A Doctor, OR flights of angels and that jazz.  I lean toward the former options.

There is only one relevant piece of advice left, kid.  You can read it any way you want.

Grow up and get it done, son.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 03, 2009, 12:51:29 PM
Basically the way to get out of depression is find something that absolutely consumes your life.

If you're not depressed, this is awful, because you will become depressed.

If you are depressed, this is okay, because it will keep you distracted.

The idea is that if you're actively doing something, at some point you will trip over something else that you would rather be doing, and do that instead.

Something like WoW is a valid choice, but not necessarily a good one.  I would suggest something more constructive, like volunteer work.  Or bodybuilding, if you're too self-absorbed for that.  Or a menial shit job if that's all you can hack.  Just find something to absolutely throw yourself into, even if it sounds horrible, I can guarantee it's better for your psyche than being bored.

(And yes, the military suggestion ties into this - the fact that it's in their best interest to un-fuck you is probably the #1 reason to join, but the #2 reason is because there's plenty to do, and plenty of guys with guns standing around to make sure you do it.)

Also Mongrel thank you for explaining what it is about this place that makes the Bay Area members like to quit dramatically.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 12:55:46 PM
You have no idea how much I wished I spent less time on Forums and more time doing something - anything - else.

Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 03, 2009, 12:59:26 PM
Without WFE I would burn myself out in a flurry of uncontrolled productivity.  No, seriously.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on July 03, 2009, 01:03:16 PM
im have you tried trolling :D :D
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 01:04:16 PM
im have you tried trolling :D :D

wtf is this shit no u
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 01:17:27 PM
Anyway, In cyan's favour, have any of you ever known someone with really totally cripping depression? See, all these comments of 'man up and go do it' assume that the affected person has enough agency left to do that.

I know at least two people with depression so crippling that they cannot do anything.

One of them copes by simply placing himself at the disposal of other people 24 hours a day. He has coped by literally making himself into a slave. This keeps him busy, employed, and able to continue life, but left to his own devices he basically dies. When he was away at university, he spent literally a year and a half, sitting in his room, leaving his room once a day to eat (the SAME MEAL for a YEAR AND A HALF) until he was kicked out for never having attended a single class after the first month. Now he's a cripple, one marginally able to function, but who has lost all capacity for acting on his own.

I know another fellow in even worse shape. He spent a DECADE living in his parent's living room after high school. He cannot complete even the smallest of goals, always self-sabotaging anything through gross rationalization. He managed to get a job about three years ago, after being mostly sort-of thrown out by his parents. Unable to stand it any longer, he quit a year and a half ago and now lives on his savings from this job (he is so frugal as to make Scrooge McDuck look like Paris Hilton, living on approximately $50-$100 a month, other than rent) He barely eats and lives in his room in darkness 24 hours a day, leaving only to go to the bathroom and to occasionally buy grocieries - which are more like rations, really. Sooner enough, he will have to get another job, at which point the cycle will probably repeat, until he finally loses all moorings and becomes a homeless indigent, commits suicide, or just disappears.

Disclosure: These two people are my oldest friends in this world.

These people are not in any kind of condition to break out of their carefully constructed mental prisons just like that. It's akin to a deep hole. There is a threshold, a depth. Above that threshold, it is possible to combat depression on your own crawling out under your own power, below it you can only be dragged out by powerful forces beyond your control. There is a level of mental illness and depression that will effectively cripple a person more thoroughly than the loss of all four limbs. And it's more common than you think.

I don't pretend to know how deep cyan's personal pit is*.

*obvious joke goes here.

Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fortinbras on July 03, 2009, 01:57:55 PM
As totally true as that is, it's also true that there's not much we as concerned citizens living inside a box on his desk can do except give good advice and then encourage him over and over to take that advice.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 02:04:25 PM
I get the feeling that quite a few cases of such terrifying depression could be solved with the assistance of a true soul-mate, whether best friend or love of life. But yeah, certainly not alone.

I dunno the level of my own hole, truth be told. I just know that sometimes I'll go to work and be thoroughly consumed by an endless loop of everything I've done wrong and suspicion that everyone in my life wishes I was dead and that I will never accomplish anything. I still do perfectly competent work during all this.

Speaking of help from others, it reminds me of the greatest thing I ever read in "How To Make Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

"Yet I know, as you know, people who wold think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes sixty years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food."

Print that quote out and frame it. There are quite a few others in the book too.

I think I've said some variation of this, whether truthfully or in a smart-ass tone since he joined the boards and first complained about his life, but here I go again: cyan, get a job or do something constructive while pursuing your hobbies until you develop the craft, poise, technique and confidence to hopefully do something you love.

I consider procrastination to be my greatest sin and enemy in life.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fredward on July 03, 2009, 02:24:52 PM
I love the last part of this thread. "YOU'RE A WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT! :disapprove: BUT DON'T KILL YOURSELF! :;_;:"

Yeah, kid, if you're going to kill yourself, don't do it because a bunch of nerds on the internet told you to, or told you not to. And don't do it because you're depressed. Do it because it's the only thing in your life you can really control, and you've exhausted everything else. And if you don't think you have exhausted everything else, you probably shouldn't. Or maybe you still should. What the hell do I know?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 02:33:17 PM
Haha. It'd be nice if he got himself together, but I think at this point we're just generally discussing depression as something to discuss. I was just irritated that even as a joke he'd write to "throw myself in front of a car so that some other jackass gets charged with manslaughter." I'd feel worse that he actually ruined somebody else's life just because he is a baby about his own.

Like, dang dude. I get that your life is devoid of dignity. At least try to go out with some.

Hell apparently he tookignored our advice and has thrown himself into making a Let's Play that I won't watch because it's not on youtube.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fredward on July 03, 2009, 02:35:09 PM
Oh yeah, I completely ignored the last page, because tl;dr and I liked the dichotomy of the responses following his newest sucide threat. Continue.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on July 03, 2009, 02:40:47 PM
Oh yeah, I completely ignored the last page, because tl;dr and I liked the dichotomy of the responses following his newest sucide rant. Continue.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 03, 2009, 02:46:01 PM
a Let's Play that I won't watch because it's not on youtube.

I think the link is for his latest game.  Haven't checked.

I completely support this hobby as it not only eats up plenty of time but he's also showing marked improvement at it.  Plus he actually releases stuff, which is more than I can say (though if you know me you'd actually be shocked by how far my thing has come along).
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 02:50:15 PM
It's a fine hobby but I get the feeling he's stuck at that point in life where he thinks millionaires browsing the internet will try his game and then give him a pile of money to make zelda rom-hacks. If he'd get a job then he can entertain that fantasy for as long as he wants while putting a bit of cash into savings each week.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 03, 2009, 02:52:09 PM
"Get a job" is not the easiest advice to act upon right now.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 02:53:25 PM
You'd be surprised how much harder it is to act upon it when you never leave the house and ask the internet about the coolest way to kill yourself from Maddox's list of cool ways to kill yourself.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 06:43:29 PM
I get the feeling that quite a few cases of such terrifying depression could be solved with the assistance of a true soul-mate, whether best friend or love of life. But yeah, certainly not alone.

Perhaps I'm misreading your post, but thinking that you will find yourself in another person is an extremely dangerous line of thinking.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on July 03, 2009, 06:46:54 PM
Are you saying that my belief that I may find myself in your mom tonight is somehow dangerous?   :dance:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on July 03, 2009, 06:51:05 PM
Quote
Perhaps I'm misreading your post, but thinking that you will find yourself in another person is an extremely dangerous line of thinking.

Nah, I didn't mean that. I meant that a lot of depression is caused by crushing, horrible loneliness and the feeling that you cannot relate to the entire human race at large.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on July 03, 2009, 07:11:20 PM
Are you saying that my belief that I may find myself in your mom tonight is somehow dangerous?   :dance:

Considering my mom?

Oh hell yeah, you better believe it is.

Quote
Perhaps I'm misreading your post, but thinking that you will find yourself in another person is an extremely dangerous line of thinking.

Nah, I didn't mean that. I meant that a lot of depression is caused by crushing, horrible loneliness and the feeling that you cannot relate to the entire human race at large.

Pfft, sounds like a perfectly ordinary day.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Ted Belmont on July 03, 2009, 09:31:06 PM
I suggest death of character. 

Get up at five, walk three kilometres daily, then move it to a jogging, then a running level over time.  Bring an ipod and listen to fast aggressive music or lincoln park, if you have a penchant for the awful.  If you prefer the latter, I strongly suggest Hybrid Theroy, as its paceing is just right for what you want to do. 

JOOOOGGGING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on August 05, 2009, 07:34:10 PM
Latest Myspace blog:

Quote from: some_emo_faggot
Like anyone going to read this anyway, but whatever.

I'm phedtic, I can't even spell the shit, but I am. I fucking suck. I'm no good at anything. I can't play games for shit, I can't make games for shit. I can't get girls for shit, and I can't hold a job for shit. I can't get a good job, nor can I do anything that'll give me a future. I can't fucking make a good website, blog, or fucking forums. i'm just a phedtic piece of shit who has no perpose, or goal in life. Even my spelling is like that of a five year old.

No, I'd be far better off killing myself. I mean why not? I'm not good at anything. I'm just a fat sack of shit anyway. None of these phonies on here care except my top 3 or 4 anyway. And even they would get over it.

I hate life. All it is , and all it ever will be is people rubbing in how much better they are than me, and being so fucking fake about it. Or saying it's cause of some invisible man in the sky. Ugh, FUCK THAT! It's bullshit that I'm not good at anything! It really fucking is! I hate it, and I bet not a one of you gives a damn to read this except Carra and Antonie, so fuck all you others. God damn phonies shouldn't even be on my friends list.

I just want to fucking die. I'll never be good at anything, and I'll never have any kind of power. I just want to die. Existing as a weak, powerless, talentless fat pile of shit isn't any fun at all.

:tldr:: I got my ass handed to me in multiple online games I am "good at" and it made me remember how much I suck at games, internet, and life. Halp. Also,  :;_;:.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Smiler on August 05, 2009, 08:03:12 PM
Does that mean he would be good at this game (http://www.kongregate.com/games/AdultSwimGames/five-minutes-to-kill-yourself)?  :nyoro~n:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on August 05, 2009, 08:05:22 PM
Hey Sora it turns out that the only way to train yourself to be good at something is to actually train at it with dedication and discipline.

I know Discipline is terrifying but there it is, there's the secret to everything in life.

Have fun.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on August 05, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
I, too, am a fat sack of shit who isn't good at anything.

 :perfect:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on August 05, 2009, 08:09:56 PM
5 Minutes to Kill Yourself was a lot better when it was Karoshi (http://armorgames.com/play/2407/karoshi-suicide-salaryman).
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Alex on August 05, 2009, 08:23:05 PM
I, too, am a fat sack of shit who isn't good at anything.

 :perfect:

You're good at being Kazz!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on August 05, 2009, 08:42:15 PM
I know Discipline is terrifying

Only when Friday gets to be Player 1.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on August 05, 2009, 09:00:59 PM
But still there is something to be said for just exploring possibilities and whatnot. Aw fuck. Now I have to play some of his game and give him worthwhile advice.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Transportation on August 05, 2009, 10:04:05 PM
You should probably talk to your psychiatrist about those prescriptions if you still feel that bad. Or, you know, anyone trained to help you.

As opposed to, say, a web forum.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on August 05, 2009, 10:20:45 PM
Has anyone figured out what word "phedtic" is supposed to be?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on August 05, 2009, 10:21:26 PM
Pathetic.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on August 05, 2009, 10:28:07 PM
That was one of my guesses (frentic? fetid? poetic?), but it seemed pretty unbelieveable that anyone could have such a loose grasp on the construction of a common word.

Yes, even Sora.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on August 05, 2009, 10:28:14 PM
The complicated thing about emotions on the internet is that if you really are sick and really do need help, we want you to get help and want you to get better. Some people go on to discover that this outpouring of support and well-wishing is pleasant and enjoyable, particularly if they feel they aren't appreciated otherwise, so they push the "I'm sick and I need help" button as much as they think they can get away with. The nice feelings that are brought out as a result of that are no substitute for actual assistance, though, so if you're reaching that point, it's our social responsibility to shut the happy-feeling spigot off and tell you to get the fuck off the internet and talk to a counselor.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on August 05, 2009, 10:50:09 PM
I guess I need to finally tell you about my situation.I've been on GAU and medication (Zoloft, Abillofy, and Serequil) since I first tried to kill myself in feb by ODing on pain pills. since then I've been trying to get on GAX, and finally SSI. Getting a job right now will hurt those chances, so I can't until after I'm on SSI. I have ADHD, Bipolor, assburgers, and depression. I've been talking with a conseler for about a month and a half, maybe 2 months, and they moved me to "level 2" because they thought I was high-risk to myself. I will be seeing her again within two weeks.

I have been taking the advice I get here, just not posting about it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on August 05, 2009, 10:54:11 PM
Assburgers can be a pain if untreated.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on August 05, 2009, 11:09:45 PM
Wow, that sounds quite similar to Saturn.  He the same mental disorders but replace bipolar with disgraphia*.  He also recently started getting free money from the gov'ment for being loud crazy.  The state money is less than $20 a month, but the federal stuff is a decent amount.

However, Saturn is much better about not being emo or any of that shit SoraCross does.


*His handwriting is so bad, a six year old with vibrators for hands could probably write more legibly.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on August 05, 2009, 11:13:06 PM
However, Saturn is much better about not being emo or any of that shit SoraCross does. :hurr: :derp: :hurr:
Which could be because I have bipolor and not disgraphia.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on August 05, 2009, 11:57:32 PM
If you were really suicidal, you wouldn't ask for help.  So, you want to live.  QED.

Next.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on August 06, 2009, 12:06:08 AM
Kazz please don't post on these forums anymore.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on August 06, 2009, 12:07:24 AM
Or just, like, take a pill. A chill pill. B)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Fredward on August 06, 2009, 12:08:02 AM
Yeah, Kazz, you've basically peaked with that post.

This one of the few threads that makes me wish there was a "hide thread" button. This and the pet thread. And the Pokemon thread. And the WoW thread...
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: jsnlxndrlv on August 06, 2009, 12:09:23 AM
That makes a lot of sense, yeah.

Mental illness is not fun and fucks life up. My aunt's bipolar; she's been on medication for a long time, but she still has her moments--cooking sheet after sheet of muffins all night long, spontaneously dissassembling her sons' bicycles and then not being able to put 'em back together again, chopping her hair off into startling new looks... and then at the other extreme, she's emotionally wrecked by the mistakes she's made.

Probably the worst part of your situation is that even if you were to get your conditions under a semblance of control, that'll stop your projects from causing a "negative" response but it still isn't enough to start getting a "positive" one. You aren't going to suddenly be great with girls, you aren't suddenly going to become a dynamite game designer, and you aren't going to suddenly find your life where you want it to be. I'm predicting this because I'm fortunate enough to not have to struggle with mental illness, and I still have those problems. But if you're dealing with your illness, at least the problems stop threatening to overwhelm you and you can start to actually work on solving them.

That probably doesn't sound like much consolation, from where you're at right now. But things will get better; it's a fucking hard road and it'll take time, and it certainly doesn't feel fair. But things will get better.

EDIT TO ADD: 4 new replies, etc. I thought I'd lost my response when I answered a PM, though, so I'm just relieved I got the text back. Pretend I'd responded before Kazz had.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on August 06, 2009, 05:11:12 PM
Don't worry guys. Sora will eventually get tired of different forms of suicide not being instantly attracted to him and just fuck guys instead.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Nemo2342 on August 08, 2009, 09:06:11 PM
The Right To  Die

  A potential suicide was talking to Ho Chi Zen, asking if he had the right to commit suicide if
he wanted to. Ho replied, "Anyone has a right to do anything. Every one else has the right to
resist it."
  The student said, "Do you see suicide as a moral act?"
  Ho's answer was, "Where there is no victim, every act is morally right, but I personally think
suicide is a symptom of taking oneself too seriously."

That seemed pretty relevant to this discussion at least
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on December 03, 2009, 11:01:22 PM
So I've been working on developing games for about 5-7 years I think, and no matter how good my game is I can't get anyone to try the shit out anymore. No one here wants to try Phantasy Blade, or Drive Buster, and no one anywhere else wants to ether. I even open sourced Drive Buster hoping it would give it more interest, but nope, not a damn thing. I feel like shit, I just want people to give my games a chance. Tell me what they like, and what they'd like to see...I dunno. I just feel like shit cause no one cares about all my hard work.

Also, I think the fact that I get like zero respect on these forums is really starting to get to me.

Posting it here instead of shit days because I've been having suicidal thoughts all night...
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on December 03, 2009, 11:05:50 PM
Self-promotion is thankless, endless work until by sheer random karmic fuckery it clicks and suddenly POPULARITY! With the advent of the internet, you just need to make your work available and passively hope for the best(because actively worrying will drive you insane) and move on to your next project because you can't depend on sheer random karmic fuckery.

Also, you earn respect. Often passively as well.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on December 03, 2009, 11:07:57 PM
Learn not to require the validation of others in order to live or you will be fucked over until it breaks you.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on December 03, 2009, 11:19:59 PM
Well it's simply a matter of us not wanting to do it. You wouldn't do something you didn't want to do, right? You have to create a sense of desire or the promise of fun by creating games that are, in themselves, immediately engaging and satisfying, rather than "sort of done" or "good enough" or "pretty good through this perspective once you realize what had to go into making it".

Like it would feel like work to play these and figure out what its problems where and tell you. That is why I don't want to play them. Instead of this being a thing I would click on to have fun, it's a thing I click on to "get to work" and decipher issues or shortcomings. If you want to make a game people will want to play, you have to step back at every stage and ask yourself if you would like to play this. You should want to play the game you made, you should truly want to play it, to have fun, because it is a fun game.

Also, I think the fact that I get like zero respect on these forums is really starting to get to me.

The lack of respect is due to the fact that the things you post are not fun or enjoyable to read at all. Again, you've gotta take a step back when you're putting something out to a group and ask, if you were in our shoes, would you enjoy reading the post you've just made? Or would this seem irreverant or a waste of time? If you read one of your posts and it doesn't seem interesting or fun or in any way worth the time it takes to read it, we're going to feel the same way. Only put out stuff that you yourself would like to read in a post.

Posting it here instead of shit days because I've been having suicidal thoughts all night...

This is nothing to really get suicidal over, man. Obviously I don't know you, but you sound like you've gotten yourself holed up into this introverted, closed lifestyle where you don't interact too much and going out and talking to people or doing something else simply doesn't seem appealing.

What you've got to do is take a step back, figure out why you're spending your time the way you do, understand what got you here (I mean truly understand why. Use a journal, that helped me immensley.), and then simply decide what you would like to do instead. We've all got roughly the same amount of time, and all we've got to choose is what we do with it. Decide what you would like to do with your time from now on, what you might want to achieve or what might make you happy, and devote your time to getting there.

The only thing worth doing is what makes you a happier, better, more content person. Sit down, get a journal, and fucking figure out what's holding you in place in life. Once you can figure that out, you can work on fixing it, on become the kind of dude you want to be. It's gonna take time, it's not necessarily going to be easy, but it is the only thing genuinely worth doing. Understand why you are the way you are, figure out what you want out of life, and do what you have to do to get there. You only live once, so make the best of it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on December 03, 2009, 11:46:04 PM
Kabbage, it's pretty cruel to demand empathy from an autistic person.  You need to step back and realize this.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 04, 2009, 12:32:45 AM
Alright, I gave Phantasy Blade a shot. You guilted me into it. Nice particle effects with the mist. The attack button felt too sticky and unreliable, it should quicker and easier to get out of. Maybe if you could get your little guy to move around while attacking?

Overall, I'd say you've got the engine for what could be a good game. If you really want people to play your homebrewed game, then I suggest taking Phantasy Blade, which is honestly little more than a skeleton right now, and getting out-and-out obsessive on it. Make it the best, most detailed little Zelda clone you can craft.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on December 04, 2009, 12:58:17 AM
I'm fairly certain that your madness is substantially different from mine, but when I'm having trouble shaking off thoughts of suicide I try to ground myself and dismiss the thoughts as crazy. It also helps to do some exercise. Go for a walk, do some kind of solo, single-player exercise. If you don't have the room to do it, clean. Just something to focus yourself and keep you from any dangerous impulses.

Also, I am not entirely sure why you'd care about the respect of anyone on these forums. Near as I can tell, they're all pig fuckers. ::(: Seriously, like, they've got swine-AIDS. It's way worse than swine-flu and they've made it a pig-demic disease.

As for why I don't try your games: I basically don't try anyone's games on these boards. My machine has trouble running SimTower. SIM FUCKING TOWER!!!

If it's any consolation, up until recently I thought you were an amazing satirist who had it out for me for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm a shallow, paranoid fucker? Maybe it's because I'm self-effacing to cover up the fact that I don't have a clue as to why no one likes me, even though it's obvious it's because I'm a self-obsessed dullard?

selfpitypanda!!!


:tldr: Cheer up you dope. Find your coding zen and just go nuts. I'll try to actually test your game sometime.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on December 04, 2009, 01:04:06 AM
I suggest taking Phantasy Blade, which is honestly little more than a skeleton right now, and getting out-and-out obsessive on it. Make it the best, most detailed little Zelda clone you can craft.

So obsessive, say, that you use all your free time normally spent posting on forums working on the game.

Though I'll remind everyone here that Sora routinely ignores every piece of constructive criticism sent his way, yes, even for his games.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on December 04, 2009, 01:07:23 AM
whine about not being famous when you've FINISHED a game

speaking as someone who's finished TWO books, written piles of short stories, designed about four rpgs, recorded countless lps and run roleplaying games for over ten years and yet still feels bile rising in the back of his throat when someone calls him "internet famous"

Heck, the closest I've gotten is a publisher who drags his heels and has a website that says my book was supposed to be published months ago </notbitter>
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 04, 2009, 01:17:22 AM
You have a book?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on December 04, 2009, 01:41:40 AM
speaking as someone who's finished TWO books

was that intentional or what
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cyan Prime on December 04, 2009, 01:11:38 PM
Sorry guys. I was just feeling really shitty last night. I think I forgot to take my Abillfy >_> Anyway, thanks for the kind words, friends.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on December 04, 2009, 01:31:32 PM
are you

are you fucking shitting me
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on December 04, 2009, 01:32:14 PM
do you just casually declare you're going to be committing suicide when you're having an unusually bad day
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on December 04, 2009, 01:35:42 PM
I wrote a short reply about how I hate that when you have even a mildly bad day you want to kill yourself, or at least tell that to the internet, then deleted it because I felt kinda bad. I shouldn't have deleted it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on December 04, 2009, 01:37:54 PM
cyan i swear to god if you are just sitting there playing sonic after this shit i will destroy you
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on December 04, 2009, 01:43:57 PM
honestly it makes absolute sense to me.

but then.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Doom on December 04, 2009, 01:50:06 PM
In the thread dedicated to CyanPrime's complete man-childishness, Kabbage is shocked that, wait for it: CyanPrime is a stupid man-child.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on December 04, 2009, 01:50:31 PM
or depressed.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on December 04, 2009, 01:50:38 PM
well, "and"
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Smiler on December 04, 2009, 01:52:39 PM
Guys I stubbed my toe guess I might as well kill myself.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Misha on December 04, 2009, 02:05:16 PM
Any time I get depressed and want to complain I just remember Cyanprime and suddenly I don't feel as pathetic
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on December 04, 2009, 02:05:41 PM
I never understand the "I want to kill myself" thing.
I mean I'm depressed and see a doctor on and off for it but... I feel more like "Well, shit. I think it'd be better if I didn't wake up, but I don't want to diiiie. I just want to not feel anything ever again."
The killing yourself thing seems to be a bit too angry and... well... decisive.
I couldn't ever do that.
 :nyoro~n:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on December 04, 2009, 02:11:44 PM
is there a useful difference i should be aware of between "i don't want to have to live any longer" and "i want to die?"
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Misha on December 04, 2009, 02:19:59 PM
one results in your sitting in your darkened room moping and doing nothing for hours because doing anything is too much work and why bother anyway your life is still pathetic and the other results in suicide attempts
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Norondor on December 04, 2009, 02:28:35 PM
there is less distance between the two than it appears, is all.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on December 04, 2009, 02:51:34 PM
is there a useful difference i should be aware of between "i don't want to have to live any longer" and "i want to die?"

Yes, very much so.

"I want to die":  This means that the person either does not fully grasp the concept of death, or is more or less sure what happens when one dies.  Because fear of the unknown, in a hugely pessimistic mindset, such as that of a suicidal person, is almost always greater than the fear of the known, which can be rationalized and is always escapable to some degree.  One of this mindset will likely try to kill themselves and mean it too.  A large amount of outside intervention and in all likelihood medication is needed to prevent such a suicide.

"I no longer wish to live.":  This sort of mindset means that the person does not enjoy life, but acknowledges that they have a very real fear of death and what it means, or even might mean.  This mindset does not seek an end to life, but desires carte-blanche.  In that it desires a life in some way, usually significantly, different than its own.  This may be due to regret or belief that the life they live is somehow inferior to the societal norm.  Death is not what is desired here, and suicide is very much an avoidable action with only a moderate amount of outside intervention.

there is less distance between the two than it appears, is all.

I would actually argue that it's just the opposite, where at first glance, the situations seem analogous as it's much simpler to assume a binary situation where the lack of one thing implies the other, that is, that the lack of wanting to live implies the want to die.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 04, 2009, 02:55:34 PM
Are we still talking about this? Look, last night CyanPrime wanted to kill himself, but today he doesn't want to die anymore.

That's perfectly healthy.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on December 04, 2009, 03:32:05 PM
is there a useful difference i should be aware of between "i don't want to have to live any longer" and "i want to die?"

Yes, very much so.

"I want to die":  This means that the person either does not fully grasp the concept of death, or is more or less sure what happens when one dies.  Because fear of the unknown, in a hugely pessimistic mindset, such as that of a suicidal person, is almost always greater than the fear of the known, which can be rationalized and is always escapable to some degree.  One of this mindset will likely try to kill themselves and mean it too.  A large amount of outside intervention and in all likelihood medication is needed to prevent such a suicide.

"I no longer wish to live.":  This sort of mindset means that the person does not enjoy life, but acknowledges that they have a very real fear of death and what it means, or even might mean.  This mindset does not seek an end to life, but desires carte-blanche.  In that it desires a life in some way, usually significantly, different than its own.  This may be due to regret or belief that the life they live is somehow inferior to the societal norm.  Death is not what is desired here, and suicide is very much an avoidable action with only a moderate amount of outside intervention.

there is less distance between the two than it appears, is all.

I would actually argue that it's just the opposite, where at first glance, the situations seem analogous as it's much simpler to assume a binary situation where the lack of one thing implies the other, that is, that the lack of wanting to live implies the want to die.

Yeah. Catloaf hit this nail on the head.
There is a big difference between wanting death and not wanting life.  It's more of "OhgodohgodIkeepfuckingeverythingupallthetimeandIcan'tdoeverythingrightIshouldjuststoprightnowbeforeImakeeverythingevenworseohgodohgod" instead of "This shit sucks. I'm out of here."
I can honestly say I've never thought about suicide but the thought of not waking up being a good thing pops in my head every few days.

Dif'rent strokes, eh?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on December 04, 2009, 03:35:22 PM
Here's one for you Cyan:  Volunteering.  

I do this escort service on campus due to my face scars, stubble, stature, and ozzie-skin cap being called "intimidating", where I walk people home in dark and spooky urban streets, and usually the escorting is done in male female pairs with the person who wants to be escorted.

Yesterday was a pretty shitty day for almost everybody I met.  The darkness was in the air.

However, through listening to music along the way, exploring cool things, yapping our craws to the lady being escorted...  shit like "can you drink in the afterlife?"  and stalking other teams of escorters (without an escort) to the point where we just said boo after 5 minutes of walking right behind them un noticed...

The point is that volunteerism is escapism from the real world in the same sense that video games serve to be, plus you'll get some pretty kickass perspectives.  And a hug.  I did.

Vitaman D
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Transportation on December 04, 2009, 05:02:28 PM
I'm pretty sure the primary mistake Cyan is making here is talking about this on a forum instead of with a trained counsellor, who understands this behavior.

Skimming the thread, it turns out Cyan has bipolar (probably) or manic-depressive disorder. As the name implies this results in silly things like wanting to kill yourself and then playing Sonic the next day like nothing ever happened.

He's dumb on some probably most things, but having a tissy over this is retarded/insensitive.

Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Friday on December 04, 2009, 06:23:06 PM
The first step to getting over any disease is admitting you have it. People who are suicidal/depressed tend to hide their condition. This is wrong.

Everyone here, and all of my friends and family know I'm a depressive. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I don't like being this way. But I am anyway. This is not because I am emo or an attention whore (though I have admittedly used my condition in the past to gain attention, both online and irl) but because I have a condition.

As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at fighting back against my depression. The trick is to catch it early. When I feel it start, I take measures to combat it, such as calling up friends to do something, playing a fun game, writing out my feelings (this works wonders for me) or just simply meditating for a while.

This does not mean I am always successful. Sometimes despite my best efforts I get depressed, and yeah, it's usually caused by something bad happening to me in my life. This can range from a pet dying to something as trivial as someone making a cutting remark online. At this point, I tend to get the fuck away from people, including here. Staying around people when I am depressed only leads to bad things, in my experience.

(Note that I don't mean Cyan or whoever should isolate themselves when depressed. I just find that it works for me. Or rather, not isolating myself doesn't help and only irritates or depresses my friends.)

After enough time passes, I stop feeling sorry for myself, remember that my life is pretty good, and get back to living.

tl;dr: Depression is a fact of life. Instead of wallowing in it, take steps to fight it, whatever those steps may be. You'll probably never be free of it entirely (fucked up childhood + high levels of empathy + intelligence = enjoy being miserable) but if properly addressed depression can be managed. Don't take this the wrong way, any depressives who might be reading this: I'm not saying SHUT UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, just trying to offer constructive advice that has worked for me.

Quote
(fucked up childhood + high levels of empathy + intelligence = enjoy being miserable)

Preempting the Cyan Prime joke.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on December 04, 2009, 07:21:50 PM
Advice for CyanPrime/anyone seeking to enjoy the internet and creative endeavors:
Don't seek the approval of others.  If you can't help it, don't be obvious about it.  Whatever you do, don't explicitly ask for it.
For some reason, the internet loves people who are extremely self-centered and cynical--see Sharkey.

This brings me to the creative part of things, I'm talking about videogames, but it could be edited slightly to apply to anything else.  Don't make things for others' primary enjoyment.  Make something for yourself.  If you don't absolutely love ever last aspect of it, you have the power to make it into something that you do love.  This is when you unleash your creation upon the internet.  Not when you know damn well that they could be better.  If you must, make it very clear that it is not finished, and even if it is not your true intention, claim that this unveiling is for absolutely nothing other than seeking feedback/bug testing.

Then you leave it somewhere on the internet, again, remembering to say basically anything other than "I MADE THIS, PLEASE LIKE ME!" while doing so and wait.  and wait.  and then realize that no one likes it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on December 04, 2009, 08:20:59 PM
All's well that ends well I guess.

I wonder if it's a bad thing that everything anyone else finds frustrating or annoying I find hilarious.

Unfortunately, the converse is also true. ::(:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: King Klown on December 04, 2009, 08:31:08 PM
Quote
(fucked up childhood + high levels of empathy + intelligence = enjoy being miserable)

Quoted for super truth.

If you're super srs about suicide or realize that you have an emotional problem, then you need to let someone know who can get you help.

Preferably someone not online.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on December 04, 2009, 08:33:09 PM
I want to bury wiseman's serious and good advice under a mountain of pointless drivel as soon as possible.

Let's all make one line (http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu23/Bon_Bon_2009/scruffy-1.jpg) posts.
If you're serious about suicide or realize that you have an emotional problem, then you need to let someone know who can get you help.

Preferably someone not online.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: King Klown on December 04, 2009, 08:36:40 PM
Can I do it too? (http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu23/Bon_Bon_2009/scruffy-1.jpg)

I want to bury wiseman's serious and good advice under a mountain of pointless drivel as soon as possible.

Let's all make one line (http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu23/Bon_Bon_2009/scruffy-1.jpg) posts.
If you're serious about suicide or realize that you have an emotional problem, then you need to let someone know who can get you help.

Preferably someone not online.

Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on December 04, 2009, 08:42:16 PM
If Cyan can't demonstrate that he's learned anything from this, he should probably get banned so he'll stop using as a crutch and turn into a man.

Honestly, his goals revolve around earning praise from US. Praise that could trivially be gotten on Newgrounds or Gaia or wherever, but no, here is is, convinced he needs it from us, because, what, it's "worth more" somehow? That's unhealthy.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: King Klown on December 04, 2009, 08:43:18 PM
 :mahboi: Why was Cyan ever banana.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on December 04, 2009, 08:58:03 PM
If Cyan can't demonstrate that he's learned anything from this, he should probably get banned so he'll stop using as a crutch and turn into a man.

Honestly, his goals revolve around earning praise from US. Praise that could trivially be gotten on Newgrounds or Gaia or wherever, but no, here is is, convinced he needs it from us, because, what, it's "worth more" somehow? That's unhealthy.

YUP

CyanPrime permabanned "for his own good"

Also "because he sucks"
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on December 04, 2009, 09:18:39 PM
just a note.  this all has been said many times before.

the whole cyan suicide bit.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on December 04, 2009, 09:20:02 PM
I don't know know that that will relaly help, but eh.
If Cyan can't demonstrate that he's learned anything from this, he should probably get banned so he'll stop using as a crutch and turn into a man.

Honestly, his goals revolve around earning praise from US. Praise that could trivially be gotten on Newgrounds or Gaia or wherever, but no, here is is, convinced he needs it from us, because, what, it's "worth more" somehow? That's unhealthy.

YUP

CyanPrime permabanned "for his own good"

Also "because he sucks"

No joke? I don't know know that that will really help, but eh.


Transporation had an unconfirmed yet plausible theory there.
just a note.  this all has been said many times before.

the whole cyan suicide bit.

Transportation had an unconfirmed yet plausible theory there.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on December 04, 2009, 09:35:45 PM
One that I have no desire to dispute.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on December 04, 2009, 09:41:53 PM
just a note. this has been done many times before.

the whole banning soracross bit.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on December 04, 2009, 09:49:10 PM
No joke? I don't know know that that will really help, but eh.

+1!

just a note. this has been done many times before.

the whole banning soracross bit.

I think the part where the plan tripped up was when he was unbanned.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: sei on December 04, 2009, 10:03:56 PM
Twenty years after the banning of CyanPrime, the Misanthrope post is framed in the Louvre.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on December 04, 2009, 10:11:35 PM
Um.  Guys?

You did all notice the part where he mentioned forgetting to take his medication for clinical depression, right?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on December 04, 2009, 10:19:09 PM
Unfortunately, there's no pill for stupid.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: King Klown on December 04, 2009, 10:44:41 PM
Um.  Guys?

You did all notice the part where he mentioned forgetting to take his medication for clinical depression, right?

Guess I did.

Unfortunately, there's no pill for stupid.

<3 Ron White.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Beat Bandit on December 07, 2009, 09:12:07 PM
Casually mention you're suicidal on the internet because you had a bad day, and get an empathetic response once, blame on you.

Casually mention you're suicidal on the internet because you had a bad day, and get an empathetic response twice...
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on December 07, 2009, 10:28:22 PM
I'm just waiting for the "whoops, killed myself.  How do you like me, now?" post.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 07, 2009, 10:33:45 PM
That would be impossible.

Soracross is banned, remember? Think before you post.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kayma on December 07, 2009, 10:51:00 PM
Critical thinking is the key!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on December 07, 2009, 11:01:21 PM
Was he?  I'm not really paying attention.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on December 07, 2009, 11:04:24 PM
He could ban evade to tell us he killed himself.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Friday on December 07, 2009, 11:07:11 PM
Alternatively, Nimduin could come back and tell us he's killed himself.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on December 07, 2009, 11:25:41 PM
Guys, I killed myself.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Sharkey on December 07, 2009, 11:31:44 PM
Pff. I killed myself before everyone thought it was cool.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on December 07, 2009, 11:34:19 PM
Guys guys! I killed my self! Does that make me cool yet?

 :nyoro~n:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Friday on December 08, 2009, 12:10:47 AM
Guys, I just got off while on the phone to Cyan Prime's grandmother.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on December 08, 2009, 01:46:08 AM
I heard there was a trick to that, but I can't imagine a grandmother having strong enough lungs to do it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on December 08, 2009, 04:06:42 AM
Guys... it turned out I was a ghost this WHOLE TIME.

also please unban sora. jesus and i love all of you hatters.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on December 08, 2009, 06:39:05 AM
...he's got a gun to your head right now, doesn't he?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on December 08, 2009, 07:03:02 AM
jesus and i love all of you hatters.

(http://www.mannythemovieguy.com/images/mad-hatter-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Büge on December 08, 2009, 07:14:26 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/buge/reaction/MadHatterRobot.jpg)

CHANGE PLACES!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: McDohl on December 08, 2009, 07:45:08 AM
...Leave it to a ROBOT to reduce the fraction on his hat. :disapprove:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kayma on December 08, 2009, 03:54:23 PM
 :happy:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 04:00:13 PM
Sorry about that. ACtually it was a clever plan to guilt you all into trying my whatever the fuck it was at the time. Needless to say it didn't work, and I probably should go around abusing peoples feelings like that. Anyway I've been seeing a therapist for about a year now. and I've been getting help from being on meds. First it was Zoloft, and seraquil, now it's trazadone, abilify, and citalopram.
Anyway, I moved away from my sister, but not before she blew up my PC, now I have an even worse one. I'm living in a clean and souber house owned by my boyfriends mom.


Anyway, I'm just posting this cause you always say shit like I wont go get help. I've been getting help. I've just been too lazy to post it.

Also, no. Though I'm depressed and having a shit day I'm not feeling suicidal. I just wanted to tell you all I moved, and this was the best thread to do it in.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on March 09, 2010, 04:06:52 PM
ACtually it was a clever plan to guilt you all into trying my whatever the fuck it was at the time.
You are a bad person.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on March 09, 2010, 06:31:47 PM
We are more inclined to believe people who are actually going to commit suicide are just trying to get attention, now, so you may have in fact just endangered someone's life.

Speaking of which, whenever you say "after the jump" I want to kill myself, soooo we may get to test that theory soon!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on March 09, 2010, 07:43:34 PM
Well it's simply a matter of us not wanting to do it. You wouldn't do something you didn't want to do, right? You have to create a sense of desire or the promise of fun by creating games that are, in themselves, immediately engaging and satisfying, rather than "sort of done" or "good enough" or "pretty good through this perspective once you realize what had to go into making it".

Like it would feel like work to play these and figure out what its problems where and tell you. That is why I don't want to play them. Instead of this being a thing I would click on to have fun, it's a thing I click on to "get to work" and decipher issues or shortcomings. If you want to make a game people will want to play, you have to step back at every stage and ask yourself if you would like to play this. You should want to play the game you made, you should truly want to play it, to have fun, because it is a fun game.

I actually play CyanPrime's games and find them typically horrible art-wise with at least one good gimmick that makes it plain why he made the game and is at least interesting to futz with.

Quote from: Kabbage
Also, I think the fact that I get like zero respect on these forums is really starting to get to me.

The lack of respect is due to the fact that the things you post are not fun or enjoyable to read at all. Again, you've gotta take a step back when you're putting something out to a group and ask, if you were in our shoes, would you enjoy reading the post you've just made? Or would this seem irreverant or a waste of time? If you read one of your posts and it doesn't seem interesting or fun or in any way worth the time it takes to read it, we're going to feel the same way. Only put out stuff that you yourself would like to read in a post.

CyanPrime's mythology is a part of our recent culture, and its entertainment is both free and harmless. I happen to be in the CyanPrime is secretly me club. QED everything you are saying here is wrong.

Quote from: Kabbage
Posting it here instead of shit days because I've been having suicidal thoughts all night...

This is nothing to really get suicidal over, man. Obviously I don't know you, but you sound like you've gotten yourself holed up into this introverted, closed lifestyle where you don't interact too much and going out and talking to people or doing something else simply doesn't seem appealing.

What you've got to do is take a step back, figure out why you're spending your time the way you do, understand what got you here (I mean truly understand why. Use a journal, that helped me immensley.), and then simply decide what you would like to do instead. We've all got roughly the same amount of time, and all we've got to choose is what we do with it. Decide what you would like to do with your time from now on, what you might want to achieve or what might make you happy, and devote your time to getting there.

The only thing worth doing is what makes you a happier, better, more content person. Sit down, get a journal, and fucking figure out what's holding you in place in life. Once you can figure that out, you can work on fixing it, on become the kind of dude you want to be. It's gonna take time, it's not necessarily going to be easy, but it is the only thing genuinely worth doing. Understand why you are the way you are, figure out what you want out of life, and do what you have to do to get there. You only live once, so make the best of it.

This all sounds like a lot of projecting. You you you.

I don't think I could so confidently guess my best friend's life problems/solutions/psychosis/more problems and I know him personally.

I just found this whole post distasteful, so I thought I'd write an equally so one explaining such.

Who among us can judge another man's path? Maybe in Cyan's world, not finding a suitable partner is honestly fucking hell. I can relate.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on March 09, 2010, 07:53:06 PM
do you really want to go down this road with me
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kayma on March 09, 2010, 08:00:12 PM
aint no getting off this etc etc



I miss The Mayor.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Guild on March 09, 2010, 08:18:46 PM
do you really want to go down this road with me

i am standing on the side of this road waiting for you to catch up to me and my briefcase
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on March 09, 2010, 08:21:36 PM
Oh for Pete's sake.

Look dude. Maybe you were strapped for time or something, but the cardboard box for a Gateway PC with a handle made out of packing tape is NOT a briefcase.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on March 09, 2010, 08:55:31 PM
For a frame of reference, early Tails Doll Envy was by far my favorite kind of retard poster. Back in the day, everything that came out of that guy's mouth was like this run-on stream-of-consciousness YouTube comment. It was just raw, right from the guy's head to the internets without the slightest mind given to how it looked or read or sounded in the context of what he was talking about. It was simply a delight. The only thing I can rightly relate it to is the talking moon (http://bit.ly/1uHw5z) from Mighty Boosh, just talking into a conversation, about absolutely anything that was on his mind.

Cyan's not like that, he's just... I dunno... endlessly disappointing both us and himself. It's not so much a never ending car crash but a really loud duck with a busted leg limping around.

This all sounds like a lot of projecting. You you you.

I don't think I could so confidently guess my best friend's life problems/solutions/psychosis/more problems and I know him personally.

I just found this whole post distasteful, so I thought I'd write an equally so one explaining such.

Who among us can judge another man's path? Maybe in Cyan's world, not finding a suitable partner is honestly fucking hell. I can relate.

Oh pshhhhh

He's a furry, he's really into Gundam, Naruto, Sonic the Hedgehog, Guilty Gear, etc, and judging by his voice from the Scribblenauts LP he's not 13. What other kind of guy but a introverted shut-in would depend entirely on some assholes on an internet message board to validate his life?

We're just dragging out his descent to rock bottom by giving him some kind of bullshit hope that he's going to be accepted here as he's presented himself. I don't find stuff like his failed live LP earlier or his broken message board to be comedy goal, it just sucks seeing this person desperately try to find validation with a group of people who are never going to give it to him. I'd ban him again for the same reasons as before if everyone didn't keep biting my dang head off for ever banning anyone.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 08:58:05 PM
I'd ban him again for the same reasons as before if everyone didn't keep biting my dang head off for ever banning anyone.

And yet when this world really needs a hero I wake up and Classic is still here.  I tell you if I were an admin this would not stand.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 08:58:49 PM
After typing that last comment I instinctively pounded my fist on my desk.  I get so fiery when I'm political!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on March 09, 2010, 09:01:34 PM
dohhh classic isn't so bad geez
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 09:03:55 PM
And he's divisive!  That statement has earned me a negative karma, but after the bullshit he is spewing in the Portal 2 thread I refuse to back down.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on March 09, 2010, 09:05:21 PM
yeah let's ban classic :D
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on March 09, 2010, 09:06:30 PM
Classic is not on the same tier as anyone else who has been banned, temporarily or permanently
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 09:08:05 PM
This will always be a point of contention on these forums.  C'est la vie.  At least with Sora we get a poster that unites everyone in a common cause.

That is love.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on March 09, 2010, 09:08:49 PM
also, if I can keep quiet about being giving a negative karma by MCE for saying American McGee's Alice was a turdy pile of shit, then you can do the same, Soup.

WEAR YOUR NEGATIVE KARMA WITH PRIDE BROTHER OF GOOD TASTE
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 09:10:31 PM
I am using it as a rallying point!  I will not be censored for my views on Classic!  VIVA LA RESISTANCE!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on March 09, 2010, 09:11:13 PM
The way I see it is that with enough comedy negative karma the regular negative karma is impossible to find

I'M HELPING YOU
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 09, 2010, 09:13:14 PM
HELPING.


Now, on to the subject of what to do about Superman.




Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey


As of right now we're Karma twins!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Brentai on March 09, 2010, 09:20:30 PM
I was previously defending Cyan on account of believing that he had just been having a bad day.

Apparently though according to him he was actually consciously doing something manipulative and selfish.

So, uh, I guess I'll believe that?  And believe you're just a douche?  Good job?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 09:44:35 PM
I was previously defending Cyan on account of believing that he had just been having a bad day.

Apparently though according to him he was actually consciously doing something manipulative and selfish.

So, uh, I guess I'll believe that?  And believe you're just a douche?  Good job?
You don't make that kind of plan while having a GOOD day.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 09:49:35 PM
didn't you make like 20 other forums or something, could you go bother those instead
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 09:50:59 PM
didn't you make like 20 other forums or something, could you go bother those instead
...Who ARE you?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 09:52:12 PM
...Who ARE you?
i would say i'm just a newbie who showed up during one of your many justified bannings but haha nah i've been around for a while.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 09:53:28 PM
...Who ARE you?
i would say i'm just a newbie who showed up during one of your many justified bannings but haha nah i've been around for a while.
Well go away.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 09:54:57 PM
Well go away.
fine maybe i'll just go kill myself hahahahahahaha oh wait
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 09:56:18 PM
Well go away.
fine maybe i'll just go kill myself hahahahahahaha oh wait
good luck with that.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 09:58:19 PM
good luck with that.
yeah about that i'm pretty new at it, could you maybe give me some pointers

maybe tell me how to exploit it for gain

you know

because you're justified in doing anything no matter how repulsive so long as you feel bad at the time
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 10:02:57 PM
good luck with that.
yeah about that i'm pretty new at it, could you maybe give me some pointers

maybe tell me how to exploit it for gain

you know

because you're justified in doing anything no matter how repulsive because you're a bear
(http://imgur.com/zJcX0.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 10:06:18 PM
good luck with that.
yeah about that i'm pretty new at it, could you maybe give me some pointers

maybe tell me how to exploit it for gain

you know

because you're justified in doing anything no matter how repulsive because you're unbearable
(http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff242/ribbonstrand/polar-bear-face-palm_thumbnail.jpg)

this is not a joke
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on March 09, 2010, 10:09:02 PM
Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 12 hours.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 10:16:07 PM
Look, I already said sorry. What more do you want?

edit: just to be clear I'm saying it again: Sorry.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 09, 2010, 10:17:32 PM
GO FIND PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU. THEN EVERYONE WINS.
YOU ARE LOVED AND WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING THINGS. (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=353.msg138847#msg138847)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 09, 2010, 10:18:42 PM
GO FIND PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU. THEN EVERYONE WINS.
YOU ARE LOVED AND WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING THINGS. (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=353.msg138847#msg138847)
I've wanted to hang with the pyoko crew since I was 15, I'm not giving up.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on March 09, 2010, 10:24:12 PM
the pyoko crew consists of terra and arcturus now

we are the bronto crew
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 10:24:46 PM
GO FIND PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU. THEN EVERYONE WINS.
YOU ARE LOVED AND WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING THINGS. (http://brontoforum.us/index.php?topic=353.msg138847#msg138847)
i am seconding and then thirding this

i am going to tattoo this on my flesh so that even though you refuse to take it seriously every time i look down at myself i will remember these words and do them justice

(http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff242/ribbonstrand/twilight-tattoo-450x337.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 09, 2010, 10:26:30 PM
Listen. I joined back in Pyoko. I wasn't... entirely well received.  Not HATED but certainly no where near liked. I took some time off. Spent a year (two?) elsewhere. I developed more as a person and came to understand the internet a lot better.
I returned here and because of that personal growth, I have become loved tolerated with a strong leaning towards being liked by most people here. In fact, I'd go as far as to say some people like me here.

I'm not saying "LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN!" I am saying "Chill, bro. Take a breather. Relax. Become a better you and make more friends in the mean time. Return when you have changed for the better." You will be happier in the long run and so will everyone around you.




Warning - while you were typing 2 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.
Fuckyourshit
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mothra on March 09, 2010, 10:28:18 PM
I've wanted to hang with the pyoko crew since I was 15, I'm not giving up.

We're just some assholes on the internet. You have got to set your ambitions higher than being accepted by one group on a message board.

You are setting yourself up for massive fucking disappointment
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kayin on March 09, 2010, 10:28:57 PM
It aways amazes me that people want to force themselves into a community that hates them.

Also HI SAILOR LONG TIME
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 09, 2010, 10:33:17 PM
essentially people on this forum don't even like themselves and attempting to mould yourself to fit in with others, which i don't know why i mentioned because you seemed to just totally skip that step and just moved straight into being an ever-present force that can only be delayed, never removed, along the lines of say bedbugs or syphilis

is either stop caring about what people here think and roll with the punches or seriously honestly just go away and hang out with other people who do not openly loathe you because it is mentally unhealthy and you end up fashioning paper-thin justifications for being a worthless fucksot. i call that the dogstar route and it's just not a good route ok

Warning - while you were typing 2 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.
hey kayin hugs and kisses
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: patito on March 09, 2010, 10:46:58 PM
I'm sorry cyanprime, it's not you it's us. It's just there's a lot happening in our lives and I think it's time to move on. But there's plenty of forums on the internet, so I'm sure you'll find one that's the right one for you someday.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Büge on March 10, 2010, 04:58:26 AM
I don't think I could so confidently guess my best friend's life problems/solutions/psychosis/more problems and I know him personally.

Which reminds me: go buy Rosencrantz a beer.

hey kayin hugs and kisses

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/buge/Kalta.png)S-stupid psyker....
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: R^2 on March 10, 2010, 08:52:44 AM
I think I basically wasn't around when all this got started. I barely remember dude at all. But now I've read some of this stuff and have come to understand why he's so universally reviled.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Mongrel on March 10, 2010, 09:12:03 AM
I think that at this point it should be pretty clear that the kid is pretty significantly mentally ill and his ability to meaningfully interact with other people is frequently limited.

He may appear "high-functioning" and can pass for normal briefly, but it doesn't change the fact that you guys are going back and forth with a person who has only avoided the fate of a homeless derelict thanks to a startlingly huge quantity of medication.

We can post concern-trolls and instruction manuals all we want but he's not going to "get it". Either let him post in peace and deal with/ignore the inevitable :hurr: or just ban him, but let's just be done with it.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yeoz on March 10, 2010, 09:14:46 AM
Sorry about that. ACtually it was a clever plan to guilt you all into trying my whatever the fuck it was at the time.
This is not a heartfelt apology at all. It's more "explaining away my behaviour" than 'apologizing' here. I'm pretty close to saying it was done along the lines of "Let's see how much more action I can get out of this". Maybe you guys are being played. I don't know.

Needless to say it didn't work, and I probably should go around abusing peoples feelings like that.
That is quite the typo. Freudian slip? *snrk*

Anyway I've been seeing a therapist for about a year now. and I've been getting help from being on meds. First it was Zoloft, and seraquil, now it's trazadone, abilify, and citalopram.
Speaking from personal experience, no one pulls the suicide threat stunt for for trivial shit, and I hope you are able to work your way through whatever problems you have with your therapist. (Except obvious trolls, but that's another matter.) But, an environment where people are openly hostile to you because of your prior actions is most certainly not the right place to start any healing. Continue seeing your therapist. There obviously is much more work that needs to be done. I wish you well in that regard at least.

I just wanted to tell you all I moved, and this was the best thread to do it in.
This is in no way the best thread to bring that up. All you've done is bring up stuff that no one really wants to revisit. And it doesn't feel like an honest/genuine apology at all. Should've been left well alone.



Apparently though according to him he was actually consciously doing something manipulative and selfish.
He is *still* doing this. Stop feeding the troll folks!
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 10, 2010, 09:26:11 AM
S-stupid psyker....
(http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff242/ribbonstrand/stare3.png) lol :)
(http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff242/ribbonstrand/1239072951825.gif)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Frocto on March 10, 2010, 09:29:34 AM
instruction manuals

I didn't post that for him
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 09:31:49 AM
Okay, I am sorry, heartfeltingly sorry. I was feeling down and did something stupid, but I got banned for it and still have yet to get my CyanPrime account back, so why all the butthurt? I would be a lot more sorry right now if I didn't get banned for it, but I did, so I look at it as I did my time, so get off my ass.

Maybe if you would quit attacking me to make up for your own inscureities for fun you'd see how unfair this is. It's not like I tried to fuck up Thad's job, or had a different opinion than Sharkey.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 09:33:00 AM
 :tldr: It's time to quit playing smear the queer.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on March 10, 2010, 09:40:59 AM
Dude, just stop fishing for attention. Stop making useless threads in which everything is invariably about you and how great you are and how much we should praise you. Stop feeling persecuted, because nobody's out to get you. Don't be sorry, just make small, unfunny jokes in other threads that don't draw attention to how much of a slimy fuck you really are, and you'll find people generally more tolerant of you, slowly but inevitably.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: TA on March 10, 2010, 10:00:32 AM
Okay, I am sorry, heartfeltingly sorry. I was feeling down and did something stupid, but I got banned for it and still have yet to get my CyanPrime account back, so why all the butthurt? I would be a lot more sorry right now if I didn't get banned for it, but I did, so I look at it as I did my time, so get off my ass.

Maybe if you would quit attacking me to make up for your own inscureities for fun you'd see how unfair this is. It's not like I tried to fuck up Thad's job, or had a different opinion than Sharkey.

See, this?  This is not you being sorry.  This is you being a sleazy piece of shit who's too stupid to be manipulative, thinking that saying you're sorry will win some sort of good graces.  Fix your shit or get the fuck out, because the person you are is unlikeable.

And quit trying to make it out like this has to do with you deciding you should be gay.  Baseless accusations of homophobia aren't exactly an endearing quality.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Niku on March 10, 2010, 10:00:53 AM
:tl;dr:
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 10, 2010, 10:05:59 AM
Dude, just stop fishing for attention. Stop making useless threads in which everything is invariably about you and how great you are and how much we should praise you. Stop feeling persecuted, because nobody's out to get you. Don't be sorry, just make small, unfunny jokes in other threads that don't draw attention to how much of a slimy fuck you really are, and you'll find people generally more tolerant of you, slowly but inevitably.
ding ding ding

just make an effort to spell correctly when you make a passive-aggressive insult 'joke' stop living under a bridge and charging people tolls if you want to be accepted

unless that is what you want. but the troll toll seems to be repeated bannings

oh also are you gay or bi because i want to make it clear that if i call you a whiny faggot it's in no way making a value judgment on your sexuality because whatever turns you on is perfectly cool and also irrelevant to how repugnant you are
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: TA on March 10, 2010, 10:06:59 AM
oh also are you gay or bi because i want to make it clear that if i call you a whiny faggot it's in no way making a value judgment on your sexuality because whatever turns you on is perfectly cool and also irrelevant to how repugnant you are

He decided that he should be because women all hated him.  He hasn't clued into the fact that men all hate him too.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: François on March 10, 2010, 10:14:05 AM
don't say that, he'll find a way to reproduce by mitosis and then everyone is fucked forever
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 10:17:56 AM
He hasn't clued into the fact that men all hate him too.
>All men hate him too
>Has a boyfriend

http://prime.programming-designs.com/php/randmgsname.php
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 10, 2010, 10:20:11 AM
He hasn't clued into the fact that men all hate him too.
http://prime.programming-designs.com/php/randmgsname.php

DA FUCK IS DIS SHIT?
This is exactly what we mean by fishing for attention.
Stop it!
If you want to make your stuff known, make a thread and/or put it in your sig.
Don't be a double dipshit
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 10:23:53 AM
or put it in your sig.
Who views sigs?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 10, 2010, 10:25:54 AM
It's kind of the deal around here.
See the giant ass sigs everywhere?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 10, 2010, 10:28:23 AM
He hasn't clued into the fact that men all hate him too.
>All men hate him too
>Has a boyfriend

hurp://adurpdurp.duh
that doesn't mean he doesn't hate you, it's just that he's too stupid or desperate to know better.

i kid though





he probably knows better but hate fucking a dumb fuck is the best fuck

you dumb fuck
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 10:28:52 AM
It's kind of the deal around here.
See the giant ass sigs everywhere?
But everyone just turns them off.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 10, 2010, 10:31:09 AM
Nooooo... Like 3 people turn them off.
Everyone else wallows in the glory/hell that is giant moving sigs.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: inyandep on March 10, 2010, 10:33:48 AM
It's kind of the deal around here.
See the giant ass sigs everywhere?
But everyone just turns them off.
exactly. please

please

please

start putting that stuff in your sig.

also like fyi i hope you don't think i'm mad at you or anything ::: you are a real kick to interact with and there's no way you are not just straight up trolling so i figured what the hell
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 10:34:23 AM
Nooooo... Like 3 people turn them off.
Everyone else wallows in the glory/hell that is giant moving sigs.
Oh, my bad.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Catloaf on March 10, 2010, 11:00:39 AM
Me describing this thread:

So CyanPrime's all like
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1213136478032.gif)
and everyone else is like
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1173637774891.jpg)
So then cyanprime is like
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1165369630337.jpg)
and responds with
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1187473196809.jpg)
so we all
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1221740636569.jpg)
and say
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1232516244254.png)

Meanwhile I'm just sitting here like
(http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/Catloaf/Reactions/1215995884447.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on March 10, 2010, 11:16:11 AM
Hm, I'm either just being more observant of them or I'm having more dramatic mood swings lately. Will keep all none of you who care posted. Niku is included, obvs.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Lottel on March 10, 2010, 11:33:14 AM
Hm, I'm either just being more observant of them or I'm having more dramatic mood swings lately. Will keep all none of you who care posted. Niku is included, obvs.

W-wh-what?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on March 10, 2010, 11:45:33 AM
I'm having more frequent, dramatic mood swings. Including extreme anxiety/paranoia, depression and personal disgust,  loneliness, nearly hypomanic excitement and energy. I'd characterize it as being manic-depressive, but I know that's me talking crazy. I wouldn't worry about it. I've got enough self control to avoid things that are personally destructive. The most dangerous thing is that occasionally my driving is more aggressive than normal.

Maybe I need a new girlfriend.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: TA on March 10, 2010, 11:53:07 AM
wait, i'm confused

what are you plugging here
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 12:17:26 PM
I'm having more frequent, dramatic mood swings. Including extreme anxiety/paranoia, depression and personal disgust,  loneliness, nearly hypomanic excitement and energy. I'd characterize it as being manic-depressive, but I know that's me talking crazy. I wouldn't worry about it. I've got enough self control to avoid things that are personally destructive. The most dangerous thing is that occasionally my driving is more aggressive than normal.

Maybe I need a new girlfriend.
Those won't go away with a new gf. Talk to someone about it. You got a therapist?
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Miss Cat Ears on March 10, 2010, 12:18:41 PM
You're not a therapist, get out of here and go make me a new name generator.  Make it a My Little Pony one this time.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on March 10, 2010, 01:03:35 PM
For once I think we should listen to Mongrel.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: TA on March 10, 2010, 01:12:32 PM
i agree

we should

just ban him
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: on March 10, 2010, 01:18:57 PM
Attempting to talk someone down from killing themselves - not like sora here, someone who has the knife/pills/gun like right fucking next to them and is spewing psychotic depressive stuff - is the most terrifying fucking thing I have ever done.

It is mostly for this reason that I find the act of faking suicidal depression for attention reprehensible, disgusting, and horrible.

Get the fuck out sora.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 01:27:40 PM
Attempting to talk someone down from killing themselves - not like sora here, someone who has the knife/pills/gun like right fucking next to them and is spewing psychotic depressive stuff - is the most terrifying fucking thing I have ever done.

It is mostly for this reason that I find the act of faking suicidal depression for attention reprehensible, disgusting, and horrible.

Get the fuck out sora.
>Implying I've never posted in this thread while thinking of killing myself
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Ziiro on March 10, 2010, 01:31:10 PM
 :facepalm:

I'm sure you did at one point, but then you used it poorly as a manipulation tool.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on March 10, 2010, 01:32:07 PM
Sora, my immediate recommendation is that you make another apology to the boards for trying to play on their concern for another human being and then call it a day. You're not being a credit to yourself at the moment.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: megaman10 on March 10, 2010, 01:36:51 PM
:facepalm:

You do all the time, but then you used it poorly as a manipulation tool  once and only once.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: yyler on March 10, 2010, 02:03:46 PM
no one cares about you or anything you say or do

i don't know why people reply to you

you have this persecution complex about being gay or something and really no one cares at all, you just want to be special

you want to wear false persecution on your lapel and demand we give you something for it

that isn't how it works

you're hated because you are a shitty guy

i feel bad for your boyfriend (pix pls btw) because you probably manipulated him into dating you, if he is actually real

you're a horrible person and no amount of medication will change that

i don't understand why you can't see no one likes you or wants you here; i never understand this behavior on the internet

if you hung out with people who spit on you at lunch on school days wouldn't you stop hanging out with them? the spit builds up
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Cthulhu-chan on March 10, 2010, 02:15:13 PM
People respond because DRAMA.  It is the only explanation.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: SCD on March 10, 2010, 02:49:46 PM
This thread annoys me, because you can only reward or subtract karma to a person once per 12 hours.  I will assume that if karma reaches the lower reach of the signed int, that the individual be banned.

But what happens when it reaches the upper band?

Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Disposable Ninja on March 10, 2010, 02:54:10 PM
You gain mod powers for a day. Then you are banned.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on March 10, 2010, 04:11:13 PM
I reply to him because I really, really want to believe that everyone on these boards is an OK guy.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Royal☭ on March 10, 2010, 04:38:52 PM
WOAH GUYS


Sorry, I traveled to the future and...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZpavrPGjhQ
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on March 10, 2010, 05:00:39 PM
All right all right, this was fun for a day or so, but this has gone from somewhat endearing idiocy to incredible annoyance in record time.

For fucks sake, he's using the memes he learned from /v/ (greentexting, implying) and thinks it's fucking hilarious.  I can't let this continue.

I think that at this point it should be pretty clear that the kid is pretty significantly mentally ill and his ability to meaningfully interact with other people is frequently limited.

He may appear "high-functioning" and can pass for normal briefly, but it doesn't change the fact that you guys are going back and forth with a person who has only avoided the fate of a homeless derelict thanks to a startlingly huge quantity of medication.

We can post concern-trolls and instruction manuals all we want but he's not going to "get it". Either let him post in peace and deal with/ignore the inevitable :hurr: or just ban him, but let's just be done with it.

I banned him, we are done with it.  I think we're grown up enough to get by without having to pick on him personally.

(http://i512.photobucket.com/albums/t322/DetonatorNova/autism.png)
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Detonator on March 10, 2010, 05:04:46 PM
Oh yeah, the irony here is that I got that image from /v/.
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Kazz on March 10, 2010, 05:19:36 PM
btw dear whoever we just banned: way to ban evade, kill yourself
Title: Re: Suicide Club!
Post by: Classic on March 12, 2010, 08:52:06 AM
For the past two days the mood swings have become less violent. Very short highs and lows still occur, but less frequently. Overall the "normal" amount of emotional stability is returning.