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Author Topic: Applepocalypse  (Read 41715 times)

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Thad

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #380 on: September 01, 2011, 12:40:50 PM »

Which a competitor could use in a spicy commercial.

Well, they COULD, if they weren't doing exactly the same thing.

Ahahahahaha!

Wait.... did these guys just manage to make Microsoft look good?! (Assuming of course that they're not doing it too - which is far from a given).

"Windows Phone Tracking Its One User"

Surprise!

Quote
Plaintiff Rebecca Cousineau claims in the complaint that Microsoft is racing to develop a targeted location-based advertising system and has to map the locations of cell towers, wireless routers, mobile phones, and computers to do so effectively. The complaint alleges that Microsoft chose to collect this information from Windows Phone users rather than go through the expensive and laborious process of collecting the information itself.

[...]

The crux of the complaint is that Microsoft asks the user for permission to use his or her location the first time the camera application is opened and then ignores the user's choice, collecting location data whether or not the user has consented.
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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #381 on: October 05, 2011, 04:04:50 PM »

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MadMAxJr

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #382 on: October 05, 2011, 04:26:24 PM »

And now to watch the Apple fans divide between pre-Jobs era and post-Jobs era.
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Mongrel

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #383 on: October 05, 2011, 06:18:24 PM »

THE GREAT SCHISM!
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Royal☭

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #384 on: October 05, 2011, 06:30:55 PM »

Wonder if next year's coverage of the Apple trade shows will result in a bunch of bloggers just staring blankly at their screen, unsure if they're supposed to like the new iPhone model or not.

TA

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #385 on: October 05, 2011, 08:59:33 PM »

I don't think it coincidence that the lackluster iPhone 4S announcement came in the morning.  Cancer deaths are pretty predictable by the end, and now nobody's talking about how weak of an offering it is the way they were this afternoon.
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Thad

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #386 on: October 05, 2011, 09:08:02 PM »

...are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, dude, good job on coming up with increasingly insane conspiracy theories about Apple PR, but you gotta pace yourself.  How are you gonna top this one?

Wait, I know: Tim Cook strangled Jobs to death with his bare hands.

No, wait.

Tim Cook GAVE Steve Jobs cancer.

No, wait.

Steve Jobs got cancer attempting to bring his sister back to life, and made Cook swear he would kill him when the time came so that the 4S launch wouldn't suffer.
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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #387 on: October 05, 2011, 09:43:56 PM »

<+Haruhi> Now that Jobs died
[09:51:39pm -7] <+Haruhi> An event at my school went from eyeroll to downright creepy
[09:51:54pm -7] <+Haruhi> ] <@Nue> I did see something..uh. SOMTHIMG at the cafeteria
[09:51:54pm -7] <+Haruhi> [01:40:03pm -7] <@Nue> 3 guys, 4 girls, sitting at a table.
[09:52:04pm -7] <+Haruhi> <@Nue> All had macbooks out. 2 Airs, rest were of various sizes.
[09:52:04pm -7] <+Haruhi> [01:40:28pm -7] <@Nue> All but 1 had an iPhone sitting next to their macbook.
[09:52:04pm -7] <+Haruhi> [01:40:36pm -7] <@Nue> Everyone had an iPod of some sizeo ut, listening to it
[09:52:04pm -7] <+Haruhi> [01:40:41pm -7] <@Nue> And three of them had an iPad
[09:52:12pm -7] <+Haruhi> did they know?
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TA

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #388 on: October 05, 2011, 10:10:05 PM »

...are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, dude, good job on coming up with increasingly insane conspiracy theories about Apple PR, but you gotta pace yourself.  How are you gonna top this one?

Wait, I know: Tim Cook strangled Jobs to death with his bare hands.

No, wait.

Tim Cook GAVE Steve Jobs cancer.

No, wait.

Steve Jobs got cancer attempting to bring his sister back to life, and made Cook swear he would kill him when the time came so that the 4S launch wouldn't suffer.

No, I think that he probably went into hospice care very recently, and that drove the timing of the announcement.  What's insane about that?  Cancer deaths are pretty predictable.  Or do you think it is a complete coincidence that the new iPhone just happened to be announced a few hours before Steve Jobs died?
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Rico

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #389 on: October 05, 2011, 10:45:33 PM »

I had a friend get a job offer from Apple today. Coincidence? I think not.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #390 on: October 06, 2011, 04:47:58 AM »

GUYS I SAW AN IPAD ON MY TOAST THIS MORNING
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Mongrel

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #391 on: October 06, 2011, 05:36:04 AM »

The funny thing is that even if TA was right, it has no effect on the hit the share price took for the 4S. In fact Jobs' dyng only drops it further (though I think most of the drop for Jobs had already been priced in).
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Thad

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #392 on: October 06, 2011, 08:09:46 AM »

Or do you think it is a complete coincidence that the new iPhone just happened to be announced a few hours before Steve Jobs died?

First of all: YES.  Of COURSE it is.  Apple's had the October 4 date penciled in for WEEKS.  After having a keynote LAST October.  And the October before.  And the October before.  And the October before.

Second: That's "October 4", by the way.  Not 5.  It was not announced "a few hours" before he died, it was announced the DAY before he died.

So what's the takeaway from this?  Well, obviously, Apple has known for years that Steve Jobs would one day die in October, and scheduled years of October keynotes to cover up their plan to one day use his death to draw press away from a mediocre product launch.  And then, weeks in advance of his death, they scheduled a keynote to coincide PERFECTLY with his death...
...
...and then fucked it up and got the date wrong.




(oh also last Sunday my mom brought me a bunch of my old things, in the box my first computer, an Apple II, came in.  Obviously that can't be a coincidence either, so this post is just part of my role in the massive coverup.)
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François

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #393 on: October 06, 2011, 08:44:33 AM »

Macintosh apples were on sale at the grocery store yesterday. 'Tis truly far-reaching!
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Brentai

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #394 on: October 06, 2011, 10:49:15 AM »

Obviously nobody murdered Steve Jobs to cover up the 4S being only somewhat good.  That's stupid.  Also equally stupid, but much more plausible, is this theory:

The anouncement disappointed him so much that it killed him.

The thing about Jobs' bucket kicking is that it really is overriding analysis of what happened at that presentation, so nobody quite sees what's about to happen here.  What you have to understand is that the 4S is bullshit, an incremental upgrade to a popular product that the core audience will buy, and basically unimportant.  What's important is the other announcement, the one that's either going to make Apple a lasting fixture in the tech world or will kill it utterly, but either way marks the beginning of the end of the Cult of Apple.

When the 4S is released, the iPhone 3 will be free.

If the iPhone 3 and iPhone 4 were substantially different to the average person, that would be different.  But as it stands, what this means is that anybody can have an iPhone.  Anybody who wants one.  All you have to do is say "Apple" instead of "Android" when the cute girl behind the glass counter asks you what kind of phone you want.

So what?  So the truth is that the iPhone, comparatively, is kind of crappy.  Nobody really buys an iPhone because they want an iPhone, they buy an iPhone because they want to HAVE an iPhone.  iPhone users are richer, smarter, get laid more often, have a better sense of style, and most importantly, they belong.  They belong because one way or another they PAID IN to the system - whether they got it on discount, won it, stole it, whatever, at some point an iPhone user has to have made some conscious choice to be such and put their tithe into the jar.  They pledged their allegience to Steve Jobs and his United Store of Apps.

To say that Steve Jobs and L. Ron Hubbard had a lot in common is probably a little too rude, but it's not entirely off base.

Tim Cook doesn't get it, though, or more likely he doesn't care.  He would rather be Bill Gates than Steve Jobs.  He doesn't want the fame, he just wants to quietly take over the world.  So he did away with that bullshit.  Now literally anybody who wants an iPhone can have one.  Will the hipsters that Apple relied on so heavily still care when Felipe the Fry Cook has the same damn thing?  No, they won't.  Will it still matter?  Maybe, maybe not.  Will Apple tank because of it?  Don't know.  But the point here is that the makeup of the company, and its customers, has already begun to change forever.

So there's two statements that could be made here, and one or both of them are probably true:

The Cult of Apple died with Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs died with the Cult of Apple.
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Thad

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #395 on: October 06, 2011, 11:05:42 AM »

I think that's overstating it quite a bit, really.  The iPhone 3GS was an unexciting incremental update too -- Apple has those sometimes.  This extended speech control shit isn't that big a deal to start out with, but Ars thinks it could be a big deal long-term, and it's something Apple's been wanting to do for quite some time.

As for the end of the Cult of Apple?  I don't think that's true at all.  Everybody already has an iPod.  I don't see the iPhone losing its mystique just because there's a free low-end model (though, granted, that DOES diverge pretty heavily from Apple's usual way of doing things), and anyway the iPad is still the vanity product that the iPhone used to be.

I don't even own a smartphone, and I'm terrible at predicting how they're going to sell.  The respective strengths and weaknesses of Apple versus Android are well-known at this point, and Apple's stayed ahead up to this point while Android's made steady gains.  I don't think free iPhone 3 is going to make a huge difference in the trend.

Things are bound to be different, and very few people have the showmanship or marketing ability of Jobs.  But precisely where things go from here is still anybody's guess.
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TA

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #396 on: October 06, 2011, 11:42:35 AM »

Apple hasn't stayed ahead in smartphones.  Android blew past them last year.
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Rico

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #397 on: October 06, 2011, 12:41:06 PM »

I heard Windows systems outsell Macs.
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Defenestration

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #398 on: October 06, 2011, 01:12:01 PM »

Off topic to the current discussion, buuuuuuut

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Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem

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Re: Applepocalypse
« Reply #399 on: October 06, 2011, 01:29:53 PM »

That's always pissed me off about apple products.
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