Defenestration: You're standing in an office. There are papers on the desks and dust coats everything. The papers are about cryogenics and cloning. You find several hundred papers with your own name on them, along with several thousand files on people you've never met. Nobody's been in this room in at least a dozen years, if not far, far longer.

Exploring further, you find a back door that has been dead bolted. Peeking in you see banks of cryogenic freezers full of bodies lined up on shelves with monitoring equipment linked to each pod.

You shatter the window with a chair and reach past the broken glass to turn the bolt. A sound in the corner of the room that is so familiar stops you in your tracks as the door creeps open...

whrrrrrrr... click.

"You. Defenestration. You did it. Congratulations! Go ahead and pick out the files and dossiers on anyone you want to bring out with you."

You see that there are files on NexAdruin, Zaratustra, Beat Bandit, Ocksi, Mothra and everyone else who played. The camera seems to be waiting for you to name some names.

Attempt to win at a game of golf while sending a trio of squirrel scouts back into the space room and west into the granite butt room to see if anything has changed.

You make -2 on the course your first time on and win a small trophy. The squirrels report that everything looks normal.

Exits: E, S and W.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

His duckfeet are somewhere WAYYYY off the bottom of the page and not even attached let alone on the canvas.

East back through the hole, West into the space room, and then South, East, and then I arrange the eyeballs in a random pattern into the holes.

A giant green head appears as the final eyeball is inserted randomly (F-N, Wi-E, E-S, Wa-W). "I AM THE GENIE OF THE-... oh come ON, you knew that wouldn't work, right? It's not personal, y'know. We're just doing our jobs."



You are dead.

whrrrrrrr... click.

That was a bit rash. Didn't you read the back?

N-E

You're standing on the Defenestration Historical Golf Course. Someone yells, "Fore!" and a golfball lands nearby, only to be snatched up by a hungry-looking squirrel, who chatters at you in Squirrel about the King and Revolution and seems generally upset about something vague before disappearing into a tree's root structure.

Exits: S and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

I fly up to the hole and fly through it, stopping at the first sign of something odd.

You find a door with a simple latch at the end of the tunnel. It swings open easily and you step out.

The door was a false bit of wall behind two bushes on the Defenestration Historical Golf Course, named after your amazing displays over the millenia. Someone yells, "Fore!" and a golfball lands nearby, only to be snatched up by a hungry-looking squirrel, who chatters at you in Squirrel about the King and Revolution and seems very upset about something fairly vague before disappearing into a tree's root structure.

Exits: S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (Earth, Fire, Wind and Water), a pair of lucky dice (active), a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

Squinting at this image blurs the insignificant, thin, sharp lines and allows the shades of the 'discolorations' to become more detailed.

If you wear glasses, look at this without them, or look at a thumbnail of it if you don't and can't figure out squinting.

Get 1 of each free deal that I don't already have and head east, and then SE

You go into the purple room. There's a hole high on the wall and a green block from Super Mario World that lets a runner run up a wall.

Exits: S and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots), an umbrella, 4 elemental eyeballs (Earth, Fire, Wind and Water), a pair of lucky dice (active), a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

He seemed like such a nice guy though. :(

I go East, and then East-north.

You are standing in a grove of walnut trees. There are five trees per row and five per column. To the north, south, east and west are exits. The artificial sun above is stagnant like the air, but at least it's a little green here.



Exits: N, S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots) and a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

Go north, flip whatever switch however many times until the projector is off, go west into the room with the flower pot and grab a couple of guns, then go east

You're in the de-hologrammed space room. It's... way less cool in here now.



Exits: N-E, N-W, E-N, E-S, S-W, S-E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

No reason not to look to experience. See if the squirrels know anything about the three room.

If there are, in fact, two exits to the current room, send equal sized parties of able squirrels through each. At each room they encounter to further break down into smaller parties to go through every available opening. Each squirrel should map their path and all rendezvous back here either when their party is outnumbered by the current exits to their room or in two hours.

Any dangerous rooms should be entered by a single squirrel before the others following them enter, and any squirrels that find themselves lost should wait in the room they discover they're lost in.

They don't know much other than that it's hard or impossible to get back to the grove from here according to squirrel legends. They can't find any exits, either. The only exit is back out to the space room. They do find a gun in the vase.

It's a loaded .44 magnum Desert Eagle. As soon as you take it, another one spawns. You grab that one too. Why not? As soon as you take it, another one spawns.

Exits: E.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

Heal the building (but not the shopkeeper) take his shotgun and kill the remaining shopkeepers. Loot the buildings for all items

A flag appears in the center of the bazaar area. It depicts a wad of lottery tickets being stomped by a black boot on a field of red. A song is playing over a speaker box on the flagpole.

The War Pigs are dead! Raise the flag of communism!
Everyone rejoice! Gone are days of capitalism!
All of us for one! One of us for every one! (repeat x2)

The lucky dice glow warmly, causing tingles in your hand. The handsome shopkeep who purveyed eyeballs until the recent social reform also had a magic wand of transmogrification.

Exits: E and N.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.